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Girlfriend Help.

Discussion in 'Smogon's Greatest Hits' started by Shelcario, Oct 31, 2008.

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  1. Shelcario

    Shelcario

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    I was planning on asking a girl out through the use of a love note during my study hall as she sits right beside me but she's in 10th grade and I'm in 12th grade so this years my last year and was wondering if it's even worth it to ask her out? I think that this question is pretty embarrassing to be asking here but I feel more comfortable asking people that I somewhat know rather than asking the girl out loud in front of everyone, and I want to let people know that this is my first time asking a girl out, EVAR!!!!! Thanks for the help:)
  2. mintyfresh7

    mintyfresh7

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    well it helps for us to know if you have any chemistry with this girl, how often do you talk to her, if you think she likes you, etc. That will give us as readers a better idea of the situation.
  3. X-Trader

    X-Trader

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    Here's how I got a date:

    The first day I saw her I told her I liked her.
    She, of course said no, but we became friends and starting hanging out a lot.
    For a year, me and her started to have chemistry, and I felt it between us, and she thought I was very sweet and nice and stuff.
    I asked her out again, and then she said yes, and said she likes me!

    For you it should be this:

    Talk to her after class, and ask her out, if she says "no" get over it, if she says "yes" start talking to her a lot and ask for her phone number ;)
  4. Shelcario

    Shelcario

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    I don't talk to her at all, I don't know if she likes me either, I just kind of gaze at her weirdly in Gym class and sometimes in study hall which is why I was thinking of giving her a note explaining things and my feelings towards her. But, I'm not too sure if it's the right thing to do as there are so many things that she could do, deny my offer to be her boyfriend, say she already has a boyfriend, and I was thinking of asking her to be my friend if she has a boyfriend but that would ,I think, be stupid. My reasoning behind if she has a boyfriend or not would probably have to be no as I don't see her talking to any boys except one of the kids in my gym class who I believe is in a lower grade than me, maybe same grade as her? I also want to know if muscles have anything to do with if a girl accepts an offer to be their boyfriend? Thanks for the replies.

    Edit: I'm not really one of those kids who just openly talks to people without knowing them, which is why I suggested the idea of giving her a note instead of just telling her that I liked her.
  5. Matt_Lane

    Matt_Lane

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    Well if you don't talk to her at all then I'd recommend putting forth effort to have conversations with her (try to make it look casual, don't look desperate lol) then after you can see that there is a "spark" then ask her out; just going up to a girl you don't talk to isn't the best way to get a date/girlfriend. You need to show her for who you are, whether that's good or bad, and if she likes and accepts you for you, ask her out. Just remember: It's better to be rejected for who you are then to be accepted for what you're not.

    -Matt
  6. kylecat

    kylecat

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    Get to know her better before you ask her out. It might be like that in Middle School and outside High School, but from my experience, you don't just suddenly get into a relationship with one action. Talk to her, take her out to lunch, if she likes you, then take the next step.
  7. TAY

    TAY You and I Know
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    Dude to be honest if you never talk to her then a "love note" is probably a bad course of action. I'm assuming she at least knows who you are, but it would still be weird if you give her a note saying "I like you; wanna be my girlfriend?" If you look at it from her perspective it might be a bit creepy since she doesn't really know you =/

    The best course of action is probably to just talk to her at school a bit, and then some time later ask her out on a date. You can take her to dinner or lunch or something, or go see a movie or a play, or just invite her over to hang out; I'm not really sure what you (and she) are into. That will make it clear that you're interested in her, but it won't put pressure on her to make a decision quickly, and honestly your chances are much better if she gets to know you first.

    EDIT: Well wildfire pretty much summed up my plan in greater detail. You should listen to him; it sounds like he has an affinity for this stuff =/
  8. wildfire393

    wildfire393

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    Here's a hint: notes never work. The best you can hope for is a polite refusal, and then she'll go back to her friends and be like "Hey, this guy asked me out with a NOTE today, how weird is that?" And then they all will laugh. The worst would be if she reads the note and doesn't even realize that you were the one who sent it, given that you supposedly have not even talked to her, and thus she likely does not know you by name. Or that she will be incredibly creeped out by some guy she does not know "loving" her and basically stalking her from a distance.

    Also, if you don't know this person at all, A) what makes you think you're actually interested in her? If you don't know her, all you know is her appearance. And that's not enough to build a relationship on. And B) What makes you think she would have any interest in you? As you yourself said, you don't even know if she's single. Most people don't just jump into a relationship with the first stranger that asks them, and those that do you likely wouldn't want to date anyways.

    So here's what you do: Grow a pair. You say she sits right beside you in study hall? Great. Next time you're in study hall, talk to her. Introduce yourself. Make it a no-pressure kind of thing, don't worry about asking her out immediately. Just talk to her, get to know her a little. After a few conversations, if you're feeling comfortable, ask her if she's seeing anyone. This is a nice, "safe" way of breaching the subject; It's innocent enough that you're not blatantly implying that you only want to know so you yourself can date her, yet there is the hint that that could be the case. If she gets awkward, odds are she's not interested in you. If she answers quickly and the answer is no, you're safe to go for it.
    Alternately, if that's too much of a "risky" move for you (and from the sound of things, it might be), you can ask her what her plans are for the upcoming weekend or what she did over the previous weekend. If the words "boyfriend" or "date" don't come up anywhere in her explanation, she's likely single. And asking about the upcoming weekend gives you an opening for asking her out ("Well, since you're not doing anything on saturday, would you like to come <blah blah blah> with me?").
    Another good way to get to know someone is to find out their AIM/other instant messenger name (from them, so as not to be creepy) and talk to them over that. It will help you talk in a more comfortable, less pressure environment, and make it easier to communicate (or at least this can be the case).

    Also, as for if it's "worth it" to ask her out with this being your last year and all, there are a number of factors to consider:
    1) How long of a relationship are you expecting/hoping for? If you don't think you'll last the 9 months it will take for your first year of college to start, it's not a big worry. And given that this would be your first relationship, I wouldn't bank on it lasting forever.
    2) How far away are you going to college (assuming you are going, otherwise this is a non-issue)? If it's fairly close (community college, etc), then time isn't really an issue, as you can still date after graduation.
    3) Assuming your first answer was "Very long-term" and your second was "Far enough away that it'd be a problem", how capable do you think you are of maintaining a long-distance relationship? I would not suggest having one with someone you have been dating less than a year (and I have experience in this area).
    4) Also assuming your first answer was "very long-term" and your second was "Far enough away that it'd be a problem", do you really want to go into college without any relationship experience under your belt? It'd just make it that much harder to find one in college. Being in a relationship make it a LOT easier to get into subsequent relationships, as you then have that confidence boost from that previous relationship telling you that you are capable of doing so.
  9. X-Trader

    X-Trader

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    I'd follow TAY's advice Shelcario, as he has the right point, so what if you can't socialize well, at least try it nigga!
  10. Shelcario

    Shelcario

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    Wow thanks for the responses guys, here's some answers to some of those questions, A.) I'm not that good at talking to girls and would have absolutely no clue of what to talk about even with the suggested things to talk about (upcoming weekend plans, etc.) B.) I'm fairly shy but still have some good friends that I like to hang out with during school. C.) I doubt that I could allow myself to walk over to her and just start a conversation with her, and when I say right beside me, what I mean is that she is in the first seat in the right 2nd row from me and I'm in the 2nd left row and last seat from her with a space in between that isn't all that big. D.) I just don't want to act all nervous around her as I sometimes do around girls and can barely talk to girls, it's just not my thing, and I have no confidence when it comes to asking girls out as I have never asked a girl out before in my entire school career:( E.) I plan on probably going to Penn State College, which ever one is the closest in Pennsylvania.
  11. mintyfresh7

    mintyfresh7

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    Dude, I know your situation exactly. I talk to a lot of girls, but before I used to not like to talk to many. Ive had my fair share of girl friends, so lemme try to help you out.

    First of all, Your a senior, shes a softmore. Girls dig upper classmen. Edit: they dig upper classmen that act like upper classmen. You gotta relax dude. Think like its an honor for her to talk to or something. Girls like confidence: they dont like nervousness. Whatever makes you feel less nervous, do it. And have fun, dude. You only are in high school once, better you make the most of it. And high schools good practice when you go to talk to girls in college.

    Like previously said, love notes are creepy. Plain and simple. You gotta talk to her.

    Maybe comment on what shes working on, or drop your pencil and ask her to get it, then intorduce yourself. "Oh, so are you a softmore?" Be cool about it though, facial expression and posture are crucial. if your hunched over, lean back, etc. Look relaxed and act the part (and dont think about all this shit im telling u while your doing it, just do it.)

    Make small conversation: this will enable you to say high to her in the halls, and then build from there. Take it slow, dude. But you have to be relaxed and try to make her laugh. But dont try to hard

    Its hard stuff, but Ive been able to learn and still am improving at it.

    Ps: the guys who get the most girls are fake. Theyll make up stories, etc, just to make them look cool and get the girl. Act like you got some swagger. Your a senior for godssake.

    Hope I Helped : )

    Hey, and keep us updated with what goes on : ))
  12. keloggsequent

    keloggsequent

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    wildfire hit the nail on the head. dont write her a note, this is not middle school. become friends and get to know her first, then decide if you still like her.
  13. Morm

    Morm

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    Tay is right about love again! Kellogs is as well and therefore so is wildfire.

    Don't be a sissy, just get to know her. You can sit next to her and make nice conversation. If she's nice and open to it, in a little while ask her for a drink.
  14. morning storm

    morning storm

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    Shelcario,

    you are obviously enamored with this pretty female, but as already suggested by the likes of mintyfresh, wildfire and kellogs, a note is just wrong on so many levels. basically it would show you knew nothing about girls. (= not attractive + subject of joke with her girlfriends)

    BUT MORNING STORM! I LIKE THIS GIRL! WHAT DO I DO THEN??

    i know its a suprise, but girls wont always like guys for their pokemoning skills! therefore we're going to assume right now that she has no real perception of you besides the shy guy that stares at her in gym class. (stop doing this now by the way)

    now you said you have no idea what she thinks of you

    firstly, therein lies the root of your problem! you dont have any semblance of a relationship, let alone the passionate, kinky, whips and leather, sex-filled we all hope for!

    so hell, i know its a crazy suggestion, but you are actually going to have to get to know her!

    ZOMG!! HOW DO I SOLVE THIS!?!

    like all good things, you're going to have to start from the bottom and put in some work. you say she sits beside you in your study hall, so thats a great place to get started from.
    • if you see her doing some work you did back then comment on it
    • just ask her what work she's doing or up to that day
    • if these arent workable options, you can maneuver the situation yourself; get some lollies or something, eat them there and offer her some.
    • the important thing is, to build some up small connection, that you can work on and and develop more connections with. this can be a joke, interest or common experience.
    just start the dialogue. it doesnt have to be an elalborate scheme. simply get to know her bit by bit. everything will go from there.

    if theres any chemistry also, that's where you'll know. you need to understand that if indeed you aren't overly smart/attrative/funny it will be a longer road then it otherwise would have been. NOW im not stereotyping because this is a pokemon forum, but i am making a judgement from what you've said so far regarding 'love notes' and gym class staring.

    to make this easier, let's liken it to catching a pokemon.

    MEWTWO at cerulean caves if you will. it was a real bitch to catch, wasn't it?

    we all know it isn't going to work by just throwing a pokeball at it. it will take many pokeballs, great balls, ultra balls, sacrifice, and maybe even paralysis or putting it to sleep.

    similarly, your suggestion of giving her a love note is a stupid as giving mewtwo one, asking him kindly to get in your pokeball. before you know it, he will have psychiced your level 23 beedrill ass to oblivion.

    SO HERE'S A DIAGRAM SHOWING THE DEVELOPMENT OF RELATIONSHIP AKA CAPTURE OF THE GIRL:

    (being that guy that stares at her likes in gym)
    --->
    (being the nice guy who sits next to her in study)
    --->
    (being the guy she's finds she has stuff in common with)
    --->
    (being the guy who she talks to online occassioanlly, and is comfortable to see and hang out with outside of class and school)
    --->
    (being the guy who she talks to on the phone and is her best friend that isnt a girl)
    --->
    (being the guy who she has mixed feelings for, and wishes would ask her out)

    ONLY THEN will you have her captured forever inside a small ball at your belt, releasing her to do your bidding!!

    "OH NOES!! THIS IS ALL MUCH HARDER THEN IT SOUNDS!! I'm shy, and the conversation would be awkward!! i think im going to send the note instead.."

    how is it you suppose you are going to have a relationship with her if you cant talk to her? toughen the fuck up, be a man, and stop disgracing the male population shelcario! grab life by the fucking balls and talk to her! fuck yea!

    who knows, you may even find out you have nothing in common.

    ONE LAST AMAZING POINT:

    a girlfriend is above all, a person who you share a mutually benefitial relationship with. if you dont show her the personality, intelligence and pokemoning you have to offer she has no reason to see you as anyone else but the creepy gym kid. start talking to her, and start getting to know her.

    that, and keep us informed.

    and if we ever here about love notes again, we will all go jigglypuff on you and slap you silly.
  15. the pugilist

    the pugilist
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    Morning Storm just wrote one of the best posts I've read in ages.
  16. X-Act

    X-Act np: Biffy Clyro - Shock Shock
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    This topic makes me feel so nostalgic. :)
  17. Shinryu

    Shinryu

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    I second that thought.
  18. Krul

    Krul

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    Agreed. Good post. Only thing I found slightly concerning:

    MEWTWO at cerulean caves if you will. it was a real bitch to catch, wasn't it?

    we all know it isn't going to work by just throwing a pokeball at it. it will take
    many pokeballs, great balls, ultra balls, sacrifice, and maybe even paralysis or putting it to sleep.

    Please do not paralyze or chloroform the ladies you take an interest in.
  19. Shelcario

    Shelcario

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    Thanks Morning Storm!!!!! This is going to help me very much, and no more love notes:D
  20. kd24

    kd24 yo daddy musta been a drug dealer? why, cuz you're dope
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    morning storm ahahaha

    Anyway, to try and keep this related and helpful, a good place to start (well at least worked for me) is to see if she has any friends that happen to be friends with you as well. Then perhaps you 3 can hook up sometime and hang out. Hopefully, she gets to know you better and I always find that when im with another friend, im a lot more relaxed, funny, and fun to be with. Then try and turn it from hanging with her and 1-2 friends to you just hanging with her. This would be the ideal time to take her to a comedy or a horror movie (aim for one with little gore and a lot of jump scares). Then its simple and I need not explain it.

    Morning storm pretty much hit it on the head though but my way works too !_!
  21. Shelcario

    Shelcario

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    I'm pretty much not friends with any of her friends so that won't work but, I'm going to take Morning Storms' advice into consideration and talk to her:)
  22. Matt_Lane

    Matt_Lane

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    Well just to clear this up, love notes CAN be romantic, just....not the best way to START a relationship. What I mean is like maybe after 2-3+ months of giong out write her a love letter, THEN it would be a nice idea that she would enjoy.
  23. Pink

    Pink

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    Don't forget to Facebook her!!! (If you have it... If not, dont make one just for her, unless she asks. That'll seem stalker-ish. And, do it after u guys have talked a couple of times. Oh, and don't keep commenting on her wall and photos, or you'll seem like a creeper, which is never good. Just a "Hi there" and stuff every now and then is a good thing.)
  24. DM

    DM Ce soir, on va danser.
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    Hahaha, yeah man, me too. I think I'm to the point where I can't even offer advice here anymore because I'm so detached from the situations people are bringing up.

    ...Except you should NEVER just start it off with a note. So creepy.
  25. Syberia

    Syberia [custom user title]
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    And just remember, if it feels forced, it's probably not going to work out in the long run. Sure you'll never even know if you don't start out as friends, but if you two get along and have chemistry and all the shit that's actually important in a relationship, you'll know it that way and asking her out should be easy. If it turns out she's really hot but has no personality or is a bitch or some stupid shit like that, don't just ignore it and get with her for her looks, unless you and her both know it's going to be a one-time, fuck-her-and-leave-her type deal. Otherwise you'll just end up not having a good time.

    I tried going out with a girl "just because" once; it didn't work. At all.
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