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How to train your Magikarp

Discussion in 'Trou Du Cul' started by Karpi, Dec 23, 2011.

  1. Karpi

    Karpi

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    As many of you have learned, Gyarados is a very powerful and useful pokemon. How does one obtain such a pokemon? By evolving a Magikarp, of course!

    But none of you do it the right way. You all cheat up the Magikarp's battle experience by switching it in and out of battle, or giving it the Exp Share item.

    This makes for a Magikarp with an inferiority complex, which later becomes Gyarados with an aggression problem. The solution is to train your Magikarp like a real man, by making Magikarp fight all its own battles.

    This is a tutorial to show you how.

    1. Obtain a Magikarp, preferably with the Old Rod, as our lovely assistant Karplie has already done.
    [​IMG]

    2. Find a harmless-looking patch of grass.
    [​IMG]
    Proceed to use up all the PP of the move Splash against weak opponents such as Ralts. This allows you to unlock Magikarp's secret technique, known only to the most patient of trainers.
    [​IMG]

    3. Discover that Struggle actually does a surprising amount of damage against your opponents.
    [​IMG]

    4. Cue training montage.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    5. Eventually Magikarp will reach the point where his power is growing so rapidly he must disguise it with more ordinary battle techniques. Take the time to learn Tackle, and then you can finally use pokemon centers again.
    [​IMG]

    6. After exhausting all available trainers for battles that Magikarp can reasonably beat (read: not roselia, lotad, shroomish), head to the grass to train for the last level needed to gain ultimate power.
    [​IMG]

    7. Watch as your well-trained Magikarp evolves into the terrifying monster of the seas.
    [​IMG]

    8. Use Gyarados to utterly destroy the people who caused you torment when you merely had a Magikarp.
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    And that's it, really. Now that you know the secret to training Magikarp the correct way, I expect everyone to do it from now on.

    Bonus: Some "Oh ****" Moments from me doing this:
    [​IMG]
    So close...

    [​IMG]
    Just the fact that a Rock/Steel pokemon exists this early in the game...
  2. Matthew

    Matthew I love weather; Sun for days
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    My Magikarp only has half a fin, but I constructed an apparatus to make it my partner in swimming. Hopefully Gyarados will have the same deformity
  3. Blue_Star

    Blue_Star
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  4. jumpluff

    jumpluff silent all these years
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    it genuinely never occurred to me that you could manually raise a magikarp w/o tackle
  5. Snorlaxe

    Snorlaxe 2 kawaii 4 u
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    lol the entire time i was reading this thread, this song was just playing over and over in my head
  6. NatGeo

    NatGeo sun's coming up
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    Is this somehow related to sweeping red with your fish

    Lmao

    iPhones ftw
  7. Tobes

    Tobes Woo-hoo, woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo!
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    Ok, but how do I do this on PO?
  8. Elevator Music

    Elevator Music
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    honestly this is what i expected the topic to be about

    so disappointed :(
  9. Yamata no Orochi

    Yamata no Orochi capes are cool
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    Well, the way I train my Magikarp is very similar to this, but the only difference is that I keep them in the Day Care center and explore Hoenn for a long time.
  10. blarajan

    blarajan i was born under the same star as shakeitup
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  11. Darkmalice

    Darkmalice Like a facepalm, but better
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    I only raise my Magikarps in Platinum. It's too cruel to order it to Struggle against opponents, literally forcing it to give up Health Points every time it tries to fight back. But in Platinum, I can teach it Bounce. I watch my Magikarps joyfully jump around the battlefield like a Spoink, literally crushing any opponent who dare underestimate my Magikarps.

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