I’m Vegan --- MSS 11th and Regionals 3-3 Report

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nicholascookie

Banned deucer.

Big 6 is only the second best team in the format.

After my run at Winter Regionals which consisted of a complete dogshit Fake Tears Xern/Kyo/Sal team (seriously what the absolute fuck was I thinking), I began researching how to best win a game from multiple situations: leads, midgame, and endgame. I quickly concluded that while the midgame --- resource manipulation, efficient trading and objective conservation --- was crucial in 2015, preparing for the endgame is the easiest and most efficient way to win a game in 2016, much more than the former in the previous year. This is, of course, repeated many times over and over again, due to the insane power of legendaries such as the Primals and Xerneas, which, when properly supported, can become unstoppable in the face of their fellow overpowered brethren. All proper trading becomes void when an endgame is sealed.

As such, Big 6, a trade-heavy team, is only the second best team. While Double Primals is a prime example of an endgame team, it is so lacking in trading that setting up an endgame with that team is only decent at best. Furthermore, managing the conflicting abilities of the Primals is extremely precarious even straight from team preview. Do you take one Primal for consistency at the cost of losing a powerhouse in your team? Or do you take both Primals and risk getting an unexpected KO (hello crits my old friend) to permanently screw over your endgame? Also, it auto-loses to what could possibly be the best team in the format

My team :^)

Kang/Xern/Groudon/Smeargle/Cress/Intimidator



Kangaskhan @ Kangaskhanite

Ability: Scrappy

36 HP / 140 Atk / 76 Def / 4 SpD / 252 Spe

Jolly Nature

- Fake Out

- Double-Edge

- Low Kick

- Sucker Punch

-> survives 252 Atk MKang Low Kick for a 0% chance to OHKO opposing Kang with Low Kicks

Standard Kang. Using any other Mega just opens up yourself to a myriad of auto-losses (yes, I’m looking at you, MMence) except for the rare and hilariously unviable Musketeer trio. As usual, Inner Focus is a terrible ability that your opponents, and you, can work around with proper team building and lead pressure, whilst Scrappy allows you to fix and even win matchups that are supposed to be 50-50 at best.

If you even CONSIDER using Inner Focus, please, sit down, grab a pen and a paper, and map out all scenarios and moves against top teams. Do your research before bandwagoning into suboptimal choices.



Xerneas @ Power Herb

44 Def / 212 SpA / 252 Spe

Timid Nature

IVs: 0 Atk

- Protect

- Dazzling Gleam

- Psychic

- Geomancy

-> survives LO 252 Atk MRay Dragon Ascent

The best and the only Xerneas spread you should be running in the format. Psychic is a great replacement for Moonblast due to its amazing coverage and fixing of bad matchups from Amoonguss, Gengar, Crobat, and even Primal Groudon. A Psychic does noticeably more damage to PDon than Moonblast, so much so that a Double Edge + Geomancied Psychic KOs most reasonably bulky PDons.

I know conan and some other top player scumbags have been advocating the use of his NON MAX SPEED+ bulky Xerneas spread, but it is so fucking bad that it is almost hilarious how the community as a whole have been using it so extensively.

Ever wonder why setup sweepers, Scarf and fast Specs users all run max Speed+? Oh, right, that’s because no matter how niche your mon is, you would want to avoid losing to a possible mirror due to Speed as much as possible. How niche is Xerneas? Hardly. Instead, it is the most defining Pokemon of VGC 2016, so much so that Crobat is even considered a reasonable threat in this format. Not running max Speed+ is hence literally suicidal --- you don’t even give yourself the option of flipping a 50-50 with opposing max Speed+ Xerneases.

Not running max Speed+ also opts you out of other positive matchups with opposing Pokemon. Do not forget that Xerneas sits at a base 99 Speed. This allows you to outspeed Kyurem-White and Rayquaza at 95, and Zekrom, Kyogre, Groudon, Dialga, Ho-Oh, and Giratina at 90. Running Modest nature, you hit 151 Speed, which fails to outspeed max Speed+ Kyogre by 5 whole points. Sure, if you’re bulky, you can survive the Water Spout, but at what cost? A Kang Sucker Punch lockdown?

If you want to get bulky, take EVs out of attacking power, not Speed, though taking out too much may cause you to miss out on some KOs, hence my spread. It has always been considered absolutely fucking retarded to take EVs out of Speed from a setup sweeper, and it’s not different for Xerneas, especially in this format.

I may have never Cut this year, but have you ever done your research?

Stop being so fucking stupid.



Groudon @ Red Orb

252 HP / 96 Atk / 4 Def / 156 SpD

Brave Nature

IVs: 0 Spe

- Protect

- Precipice Blades

- Fire Punch

- Rock Slide

-> survives max SpA+ Earth Power from PDon

-> miniscule chance to 2HKO 252HP/156Def PKyogre with double-targeted PBlades

As much as I love Kyogre, I have to let my 6th favourite Pokemon sit in my Box in favour of the objectively better endgame Primal, Groudon. Standard spread, it’s good to know that people are moving away from the terrible Special Groudon that plagued the early meta of 2016.

I tested out a variety of moves on the last slot from Rock Tomb when I ran 4 Speed PDon (that was honestly a bad idea, I had speed-tie nightmares) to even Double Team as a desperation move when netting momentum isn’t possible. I settled on Rock Slide after MSS since I could Rock Slide + Ice Beam MMence for a KO.

Smeargle @ Focus Sash

252 HP / 4 Def / 252 Spe

Jolly Nature

IVs: 0 Atk

- Crafty Shield

- Follow Me

- Dark Void

- Wide Guard

The absolute worst Pokemon of 2015 and past years is the top supporting Pokemon of 2016. This should never have happened. I am so fucking mad at TPCi for making this dogshit ruleset. Was it you, Scotty-boy? Did you do this?

Changed Fake Out to Crafty Shield after MSS after noticing I had absolutely nothing for Scarf Smeargle and that the latter netted more momentum than Fake Out anyway. I really don’t want to talk about this shit excuse for a metamon.



Landorus-Therian @ Choice Band

76 Atk / 180 SpD / 252 Spe

Jolly Nature

- Explosion

- Earthquake

- Rock Slide

- Superpower

-> survives max SpA+ PDon Flamethrower

-> OHKOs MKang with Superpower up to 144 HP

-> 87.5% chance to OHKO 36 HP / 76 Def MKang with Superpower

AssVest (lol) Lando-T optimised for 2016. I honestly haven’t objectively figured out what Pokemon best fit for this slot (and I don’t want to anymore, fuck 16) other than that it must be an Intimidator. You could run MMence for this slot, I suppose, but double Mega has always been a dogshit idea for me due to the fact that you’re effectively restricting power in your team --- the same concept as DPrimals. I feel that Rayquaza is honestly the only viable double Mega you can run.

I chose Landorus-T because:

- not double Mega

- +ve Kang matchup

- +ve CroGar matchup

- +ve Groudon matchup

- free positioning with Explosion

- banded Rock Slide flinches :^)



Cresselia @ Mental Herb

252 HP / 220 Def / 4 SpA / 28 SpD

Sassy Nature

IVs: 0 Atk / 9 Spe

- Trick Room

- Gravity

- Ice Beam

- Skill Swap

-> forgot what the EVs do but I remember it being super optimal despite a 4 EV-leftover

-> UNDERSPEEDS MIN SPEED- PRIMALS BY 1 POINT

The crux of the team with Primal Groudon. Trick Room to Gravity + PBlades + Ice Beam + Skill Swap endgame is THE BEST endgame of 2016. Skill Swap covers Kyogre matchups up to 50 percent, Gravity covers cheeky Flying/Levitating idiots who think having birds cover their Groudon matchup… the list goes on and on and on and on. This is THE premier duo of 2016.

If you’re running CressDon, it is of utmost importance that you MUST run Trick Room. It is the safest and best way to set up Skill Swap and Gravity. As such, you MUST run 9 IV 0 EV Speed- to guarantee up to 50 percent wins against opposing Kyogre Skill Swap Cress endgames. DO NOT RUN ANYTHING OTHER THAN 9 IV 0 EV SPEED- CRESS, OR YOU ARE A HUGE FUCKING IDIOT.


Here is a lead cheat sheet against most meta teams I wrote up before MSS, but is still relevant even post-Crafty Shield anyway. And no, Yvetal PDon is not a legitimate team.





2016 is honestly the worst fucking format I’ve ever seen TPCi shit out of their retarded asses. If you think that 2016 is decent, or even good, you are either a masochist (which then stop reading because I don’t kink shame U//w//U) or a weak-minded sheep-ass edgy motherfucker who lies to themselves every day and takes the words of others as the words of god without doing your own thinking and reflecting. Stop taking a piss on yourself you stupid motherfuckers.



That’s all, remember you can always yell at me on Twitter @nicholas_cookie and if you want to call me out tag me ffs because I love to masturbate to hate directed at me over a kids’ game.









Oh also team name is because of the double Herb itemisation I used. Haha super original funny name I am comedy king of Mumbai 2097.


Smogon edit: I play OU now and while I still scream at my laptop when I miss +1 HJK it's still much more manageable than fucking VGC 2016. Mods if you delete this I'm going to eat your mom.​
 
You were allowed to use a cheat sheet during the battle? I remember I was told I had to start off with a new sheet at the beginning of each battle.
 
The thing is you never actually told us what the best team in the format is
the best team in the format

My team :^)
uhh

your kang only needs 28HP to live a low kick. Unless 36HP/4SpD survives something else idk.

xern is perfect and yeah I don't know why anyone would ever use any other EV spread.

I settled on Rock Slide after MSS since I could Rock Slide + Ice Beam MMence for a KO.
not actually a guaranteed KO after intimidate unless Mmence is -SpD nature, some people run timid.

why is smeargle jolly over timid, also fuck smeargle.

lando t I have no idea, killing yourself is good though. Nothing else works better since only Mmence has intimidate and checks pdon but you already said why you don't use mence.

cress evs survive single target pogre full power water spout (as if you haven't already lost in that position), also pisses off people with ocd by making the defenses 1 point off of being perfectly balanced. Don't think the 4 SpA does anything so you could move 8 evs to Def if you care (you don't).

how could you even use such inefficient spreads don't you do your fucking RESEARCH!?!

super serious rate just in case anyone is still playing VGC 2016 and wants to copy this team, it's good and will win but there are really only losers in this years format.
 

nicholascookie

Banned deucer.
The thing is you never actually told us what the best team in the format is
I'll eat your mom

your kang only needs 28HP to live a low kick. Unless 36HP/4SpD survives something else idk.
252 Atk Parental Bond Mega Kangaskhan Low Kick (100 BP) vs. 28 HP / 76 Def Mega Kangaskhan: 154-184 (83.6 - 100%) -- 0.4% chance to OHKO

nigga

why is smeargle jolly over timid, also fuck smeargle.
Originally had Fake Out, considered getting a Timid one but a stronger Struggle looks better than reducing already-nonexistent Foul Play damage (you're fucked anyway if you get a -Def or +2 Atk boost). Tru tho fuck this stupid dog Picasso-ass wannabe cunt.

cress evs survive single target pogre full power water spout (as if you haven't already lost in that position), also pisses off people with ocd by making the defenses 1 point off of being perfectly balanced. Don't think the 4 SpA does anything so you could move 8 evs to Def if you care (you don't).
Shit fuck yeah I forgot I'm not running that shitty ass Psyshock Cress anymore thanks for the heads-up fam

how could you even use such inefficient spreads don't you do your fucking RESEARCH!?!
I'm going to fucking kill you

but there are really only losers in this years format.
Truuuuu we outchea while dem dummies slappin noodles at Gesus, bless their coin-flippin asses #PrayNigga
 
252 Atk Parental Bond Mega Kangaskhan Low Kick (100 BP) vs. 28 HP / 76 Def Mega Kangaskhan: 154-184 (83.6 - 100%) -- 0.4% chance to OHKO

nigga
252 Atk Parental Bond Mega Kangaskhan Low Kick (100 BP) vs. 28 HP / 76 Def Mega Kangaskhan: 153-183 (83.1 - 99.4%) -- guaranteed 2HKO

from showdowns calc, lol wtf.

Originally had Fake Out, considered getting a Timid one but a stronger Struggle looks better than reducing already-nonexistent Foul Play damage (you're fucked anyway if you get a -Def or +2 Atk boost). Tru tho fuck this stupid dog Picasso-ass wannabe cunt.
anything that makes smeargle kill himself faster when he gets swagged on is good by me

give him max attack lonely nature so he can die alone like he deserves
 

nicholascookie

Banned deucer.
252 Atk Parental Bond Mega Kangaskhan Low Kick (100 BP) vs. 28 HP / 76 Def Mega Kangaskhan: 153-183 (83.1 - 99.4%) -- guaranteed 2HKO

from showdowns calc, lol wtf.
Use the Nugget Bridge calc to EV for Kang dumbass. Showdown's doesn't calc Parental Bond as 2 seperate rolls (specifically the second hit) (I think) (oh god I'm not sure anymore what am I doing with my life I spend my life going around trying to find meaning but every time I see a shimmer of hope that my dark days are over I get a reminder of how awful of a person I am and how despondent the world truly and naturally is I don't know how long I can keep up this charade please save me from this existence please save me from my self-destructive antisocial tendencies please save me from myself)
 
I'm a little confused, can you explain your reasoning behind the 9 IVs in speed on Cress for me? I get its for the Cress/Primal Mirror, but my mind isn't processing it properly. Sorry :( Shouldn't you want the slowest possible Cress, ie 0 IVs?

EDIT: Ok I figured it out! You want to be slower than the slowest primal, but faster than other Cress so your skill swap goes second, triggering the weather you want. Am I right?
 
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nicholascookie

Banned deucer.
I'm a little confused, can you explain your reasoning behind the 9 IVs in speed on Cress for me? I get its for the Cress/Primal Mirror, but my mind isn't processing it properly. Sorry :( Shouldn't you want the slowest possible Cress, ie 0 IVs?

EDIT: Ok I figured it out! You want to be slower than the slowest primal, but faster than other Cress so your skill swap goes second, triggering the weather you want. Am I right?
Duh lmao
 
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