JACKIE CHAN ADVENTURES MAFIA December 24, 2009 San Francisco, California :the loudspeaker booms: At 2200 hours the Dark Hand destroyed the gate that held our Nightmares from reaching the real world, effectively killing Christmas. Due to the chaos in the street most of our agents have been deployed onto the field, however, the Dark Hand took it upon themselves at that time to strike at our vault and acquire many of the talismans, demon chi powers, and oni masks that we have kept safe. Our intelligence on the current situation leaves us to believe that the Dark Hand have not left the building and because of this Section 13 has been quarantined and is now in lockdown, effective immediately. I don't care if you have families and dinners to go to, nobody comes in or out of Section 13 until we have caught and due to a new decree by the higher ups, terminated the infiltrators. It has also come to my attention that there are several horrors dwelling in Section 13 calling themselves, Stuff Nightmares Are Made Of. Let me make it clear, these horrors are trying to kill all of us and I will be damned if they survive this. I call on the J-Force to assemble at the middle of Section 13 for your briefing. Captain Black, out! 20 minutes later I am glad that you have all come, it seems that the Dark Hand and the Stuff Nightmares Are Made Of have infiltrated our ranks, we must - :a figure bursts from crowd and bashes Captain Black's bald head in with a metal staff: HAHAHAHAHA, that old fart is so tiring, lets see what this guy is really made of. The hairy figure sticks his entire hand into Captain Black's ear canal and pulls out a slip of paper and reads it out loud: Alright now, you there take this chump to the morgue. For those who don't know who I am.... :throws away cloak revealing a simian anthromorph: It is I, the greatest of Greats and the King of Comedy, the magnificent Monkey King. Here's my role pm to prove it: Now now, don't stare at me like that I did what I had to do, egghead over here was going to steal my spotlight. I tell you what, unless you all want to be turned into sheep I will coordinate a little competition. I am pretty sure all of you J-Force fellows do not want to get slaughtered due to your lack of character shields by the non-incompetent version of the Dark Hand and the evil as fuck Stuff Nightmares Are Made Of, so you guys better start going to tribal council and taking them out. Why wait, tribal council #1 starts now! It is now Day 1, Day 1 will end in 72 hours (I am not updating on Halloween), period.