Separate names with a comma.
Discussion in 'Congregation of the Masses' started by Byrne, Aug 14, 2012.
I love when Byrne makes topics and this happens.
I like it too. It's what I was born to do...on Smogon.
If you can't handle me when I'm ignorant, stubborn and retarded then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~Byrne Marilyn Monroe
guys leave byrne alone
posting to say i enjoyed vader's guest spot on byrne's livejournal. please have him on again.
V's story would've been better if it had some crazy twists like in the Bad Ass party story but it was still interesting
Because IQ tests are end-all methods to determining a person's intelectual prowess
okay, to sum up:
Byrne, your college experience stories have been remarkably generic, as oxymoronic as that sounds. You also ask for input then basically say "oh I won't follow advice, I am fine." That is what annoys people itt.
Everyone else, gangbanging Byrne is why I closed the thread, although I did enjoy cookie's last post. If someone else has a good story, vm me or something and I'll unlock the thread and it can be about interesting, unique college stories. Or make another thread so everyone can get along and it will be rainbows and puppydogs for me and my moderating kin!!
EDIT: also, byrne, don't pm or vm me about this post because I will not respond because I do not care
EDIT2: opened for matty because fuck you guys i love matty
Most of you probably don’t know me or remember me. I use to be a big fucking deal on this site. (See, can’t you tell by my grayed out pixels under my name?) Well, not really. I ran a bunch of dumb tournaments, hosted LNT for awhile and did some other stuff (but for the most part I’m lazy). I now only occasionally browse the forums and stir up shit in IS occasionally. I basically outgrew Pokemon, but I never could leave the community. In an effort to give back to the Smogon community (or to rub my ego), I’ve decided to start a blog based on my college stories. A lot of these stories are ones that I’ve told to friends on Smogon (Loki, Phil, Rem) but never had a chance to write them down. And now is that chance.
My name is Matthew but most people in real life call me matty. I live in Boulder, CO and currently go to the University of Colorado. I study Evolutionary Biology and I’m about to graduate in December (I’m also a TA in my department, but no one cares about Undergrad TAs anyway). That’s pretty much all you need to know about me. And if you’re still reading up to this point, I’m pretty impressed because I always skim the first two paragraphs of posts because they are lame. I do however read the bold lines.
Like I said earlier, I want to share some of my college stories (just like Tucker Max). Most of them me making poor decisions that usually involved drugs, alcohol, women and breaking the law. Unfortunately I’m not nearly as witty as Tucker or as big as an asshole as him, so my stories aren’t going to stack up to his. People probably won’t really give a shit about all of this, but honestly this is more for me than you, but on the off chance someone cares, well there you go.
Matty turns 21: The story where he makes new friends, enjoys humiliation of others and gets kicked out of bars
Everyone says that you’re 21st birthday is the best. First time to legally drink; never have to look over your shoulder to see if a cop is walking up to your party; first time to awkwardly hit on girls at bars; (and consequently) first time to realize that the bars absolutely rape you for drinks. At the time, I really didn’t think it was too big of a deal. Sure I could finally go to the liquor store without bugging my friend, but at the time, I wasn’t drinking much anyway. Some of my friends were already 21, but a majority of my good friends were 20. In an effort to cheer me up, my best friend at the time Baz had made a big deal about it. And eventually he got me into it too.
We heard about this party at the legendary apartment buildings called “Legoland”. Legoland is a fully enclosed apartment complex with 3 stories with a huge courtyard. It gets its name because every apartment is painted a different color and they all are stacked on each other. In the end, the entire thing from the outside looks like a bunch of legos stacked on each other. It literally is the best place to party. The entire complex throws huge parties and often these parties are sponsored by companies like Red Bull, Rockstar, Kegskins, I’m Schmacked, new alcoholic companies etc. What is great about this is that there is endless amounts of booze and chaser through the entire party. I can’t remember going to a Legoland party and having the kegs run dry. Each apartment also turns into its own little mini-party. People usually are taking shots or playing drinking games in each apartment. (I remember one party I went to where it was a sponsored drinking games night and each house was responsibly for some drinking game. Such a cool idea). The other awesome part about Legoland is that in the middle of this courtyard they have a huge fountain which you can fill with ice and through kegs in the middle. They have a DJ table in the laundry room (which was rad because it was all black lighted out and they had foam coming out of the washers lol). This particular night someone had filled up a small doughboy pool. I have no idea why, but it was there and it comes up later in the story.
So we get to the party and we’re walking in and it's already rowdy. Most of the apartments on the first 2 floors are filled and the courtyard is filling up too. There is music from the laundry room and people are having a good time. Legoland is pretty far away from the bars in Boulder so Baz and I and our other buddy Bryce were drinking a little bit, played a game of pong, hung out. We were on the second story balcony just talking when this huge fratty mother fucker rolls up to us, stumbling drunk with a deep Southern accent. At the time, I didn’t really notice him, nor did I want to talk to him, but Baz had other ideas. Baz loves fucking with people, especially when hes drinking and he knows that drunks will do whatever he tells them to do. So he starts talking to the kid, just casual conversation. And he comments about how that doughboy pool is just sitting there and no one was using it. Of course the kid didn’t noticed the pool and gets really interested in it. Baz goes “Hey man, I’ll give you $20 bucks if you jump from the balcony into the pool”. The kid has enough sense to know how bad an idea this is and he tells Baz to fuck off. I know Baz and how he is quite manipulative when he wants to be. He starts calling the kid a pussy, but in a way that this huge guy won’t beat his ass. Eventually, people on the balcony start listening in and join in the ribbing. Eventually the kid gets so fed up he turns to Baz and goes “Fuck you little bitch, I got more balls than you even know” and instantly walks over to the railing, starts climbing it and in one fell swoop jumps.
At this point, I wasn’t exactly paying attention to where the conversation was. Usually I steer clear of adding anything once Baz is in his manipulative zone. I see this kid run over to the railing and I know instantly how bad this is. Luckily the doughboy was close enough to the railing that when the kid jumps off, he completely belly flops it missing the edge of the pool barely (I can’t remember, but he might have clipped the edge because when he got out of the pool he was limping). Everyone around the party immediately turns to look at what just happened. The kid rises out of the pool with his Steve Holt arms and goes “FUUUCCCKKKK YOUUUUU KIDDDDD” at Baz and the entire party erupted into a huge cheer. The kid climbs out and people are like handing him shots and beers. Some nice girl got him a towel (she just happened to have one on hand the fuck?). He instantly became a hero for that night. And we ended up partying with him later at the bars...
Well that is part 1 of 2 parts. If people actually like this story I can write up the second part. (I quickly wrote it because I told Vader I wanted in on the college storytime)
YES THIS IS PRETTY MUCH ACCURATE
Well I start soon, but my living situation has quickly changed, my family decided to move out in the middle of October, leaving me with no where to go. I've been looking at apartments the past few days and I've found a few places that stand out. It is way to late to apply for residence at my school, so I'm forced to take the more expensive route! So I'd like to ask you guys, what sort of things should I expect living on my own for the first time? I've never been away from home for more very long and am kind of nervous about it.
buy lots of ramen
it's cheap and quick to eat
eating out gets really expensive, learn how to cook some basic stuff
ricecooker is awesome
if you can get like a mini grill sort of thing, you can cook virtually anything on it, even veggies and shit
roommates can help with the cost, but not necessary
idk what else :P