Leaving Home :O

[Rowan]

So yeah, I've just literally moved out of my Parent's house for University, and it's really amazinlgy exciting but also pretty fucking scary all at once.

I thought I'd create this thread for people to just generally talk about their fears about leaving home and also what they're looking forward to.

Basically, I'm really fucking shitting myself because I don't trust myself to be organised and just get on and do the stuff I need to do, and I really don't feel ready to be that independant. Just little stuff that's nto really a big deal like laundry/cooking are really scaring me. So yeah, basically how is everyone that has recetnly left home to go to uni (or any other reason) feeling?

Discussion topics?
How to buy cheap good food & How to cook and save money
How to deal with your newly found independance
How to make new friends around you
What to do if you don't know what to do.
How to make your room your own.
General discussion on independace.


like seriously, i'm just kinda shitting it right now.

 

[Acklow]

Protips:

Don't eat out. Trust me, it costs too much.

Try to spend your money like as if you were poor. In other words buy ramen and $1 frozen dinners and cheap frozen pizzas. Oh and oatmeal. Oatmeal is good.

Make sandwiches. Lunchmeat can be bought cheap in bulk as well as cheese. PB&J is also a good food.

Brand-name is more expensive. Don't waste your time on it and buy store-brand. UNLESS you have the money and are willing to pay the extra dime. Stuff adds up tho...

Don't waste your time playing video games too much in your free time if you need to be studying. Slacking off is ok, but not too much.

Making friends comes naturally.

Making your room your own is easy. Just pick stuff that relates to your hobbies and shit.


Also in relation to laundry: wash darks with cold water and lights with warm. Don't mix them. Also never put red clothes in with white clothes or you'll stain your white clothing pink.

Make sure to clean ur bathroom at least every other week cuz a dirty bathroom is disgusting.

You'll have to suck it up if you don't have a lot of personal cash to work with. Find yourself a part-time job to pay for luxuries if you like brand-name stuff.

/me housewife

 

[comatthew6]

How to buy cheap good food & How to cook and save money

Ramen. Also don't buy $1 pizza. Your butt will thank me later.

How to deal with your newly found independance

Masturbate. Often.

How to make new friends around you

Join clubs and stuff and talk to your roommates and classmates. Also going to parties/social events never hurt (unless you end up vomiting everywhere - that's not good).

What to do if you don't know what to do.

Google is your friend.

How to make your room your own.

In a dorm? Good luck with that lol

General discussion on independace.

Ok on a more serious note here being away from your house is awesome. Finally you get to do everything your parents wouldn't let you back when you were in high school. You can do what you want, eat what you want, and choose whether or not it's worth going to class. All of these things are just suddenly thrown upon you, and you should take a few moments to think about what is actually going on. You're going to have to make new friends (unless you're a loner like myself) and it's a new process. But it's fun! You get so much more free time than in high school and that's the best part about being away for college. Dorming kinda sucks if you have to share a floor with a bunch of sweaty frat guys and have to share showers and whatnot (thankfully my college's dorm is actually an apartment building with 1 bathroom per room!). What you need to realize is that this is a LEARNING experience, and is something you should most likely find out for yourself via actually going out and doing stuff (or googling stuff and pretend you went out). For laundry and stuff make sure that you watch it so people don't throw your clothes out of the washing machine. Cooking is easy as long as it's ramen or you can go out on a limb and prepare more exquisite meals via cookbooks and whatnot. Pretty much what I did was not give a shit until I realized how much responsibility I had.

Good luck!

 

[His Eminence Lord Poppington II]

yo just make friends the same way you do online

 

[Lanturn314]

well university isn't QUITE real life yet, especially if you're gonna be living in dorms.

That said... here are some tips:

-in addition to the ramen and sandwich stuff that has already been mentioned, eggs are awesome too. They're both cheap and versatile-- you can have them scrambled, sunny side up, in an omelet, etc. My diet as a poor college student consists mainly of eggs for breakfast, pb&j for lunch, and ramen for dinner. Sometimes I go out to eat or cook something more elaborate, but that's only when I'm feeling relatively rich

-Independence? Ehhhhhh just relax before the year really starts up, because once you get school work, you're not gonna have much free time. And in what little free time you'll have, you'll probably want to see your friends!

-Friends: just talk to people and eventually you'll make some friends. Roommates are an excellent place to start if they're not douches. Classes and extracurriculars are also good ways to meet people. If you're into parties, you can probably meet some cool people there too.

-What to do if you don't know what to do: surf the internet and eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon. Or you could splurge on ice cream... and if you're REALLY lucky, you'll have enough free time/cash to get a Netflix subscription. Alternatively, you could just text your friends and see what they're up to. Interesting things to do also vary by location, so maybe just google "Free stuff to do in [insert name of town here]"

-How to make your room your own: just don't clean it. That way, everyone will KNOW it's your territory and your territory alone. Oh wait you were probably talking about posters and shit.... well, just buy a couple of posters that portray content that is somewhat related to your interests, or that just look cool. And maybe buy some cheap but interesting-looking furniture at Target. Also make sure your sheets and comforter look cool, because your bed is probably going to take up about half the space in your room.

-general discussion on independence: i haven't REALLY experienced it fully yet. In fact, I don't think anyone really has aside from the super-rich. I mean, think about it: no matter what, you're probably going to need to answer to someone. In high school, this someone was your parents (and also your teachers to some extent). Now, it's probably still gonna be your parents to an extent if they're helping to fund your education in anyway, and also your professors (well, they don't care what you do in your personal life as long as you know your shit) and the University bureaucracy (who actually do kind of give a shit if you deal drugs from your dorm room or something like that) and your RA (basically another parent packaged in college student form unless your RA is REALLY chill). I mean, obviously the environment won't be as restrictive as it was back home, but you still have plenty of obligations to fulfill, assuming you actually care about grades and career and all that jazz. I guess the advice I'd give for this is to stay on top of your shit, but also make enough time to RELAX. Make sure to see your friends every once in awhile, and also make sure to have the occasional day where you don't even change out of your pajamas and just watch Netflix or cat videos on Youtube all day (but for the love of god, make sure this day isn't a day when you have classes because classes are fucking IMPORTANT). Oh, and go to class... every class... even if it seems like bullshit. If you don't end up gaining anything useful, it was just an hour of your life, but going to class has a far higher chance of paying off in the long run than spending all your time watching cat videos. And DEFINITELY study. A lot.


OH ALSO caffeine is your best friend. Alcohol may or may not be your second-best friend, but try not to become TOO closely acquainted with it, lest you become an alcoholic... though the occasional fun night out with your friends is awesome. Know your limits, don't get arrested, and for the love of god don't drink alone at all ever.





EDIT: this came out sounding more bitterly sarcastic than I intended it... so take the biting sarcasm with a grain of salt. Uni life is actually really awesome in that it's the best of both worlds: you're on your own for once, but you still have a huge network of people to support you and a TON of new opportunities just waiting to be explored. Just keep an open mind, talk to people, do your school work, and everything will be fine :)

 

[Myzozoa]

Discussion topics?
How to buy cheap good food & How to cook and save money

Learn how to cook various curries and pastas, as the ingredients are healthy and inexpensive, keeping a sack of potatoes around is always a good idea. If you're really lazy and broke then sandwiches are the way to, you can buy a weeks worth of sandwich ingredients (cheese, meat, bread, veggies) for about $1 per sandwich if you get creative. Learn some recipes to impress your date. Also no boxed wine or Carlo Rossi, such a waste of your life to drink this shit.

How to deal with your newly found independance

The thing here is that you have to be self-motivated, your parents and teachers won't be there to give you shit when you're falling behind/being lazy in school or work, so it's just you, and you probably won't notice right away but this is a difficult adjustment, eventually it will catch up to you and you will probably have a lot of regrets (this is completely normally, but that doesn't make it suck any less). It won't be the things that you do that you'll come to regret, it will be the stuff you didn't do, opportunities you passed by and time you wasted. Even very self-motivated people will have regrets of this type. Also remember that your brain is still developing and youre pretty much verifiably insane as far as your judgement goes as that part of your brain isn't fully functional, try not to be impulsive.


How to make new friends around you

I've been lucky that mostly decent and smart people have been thrown into my life, I usually didn't meet tons of friends outside of the people who lived in the same area of campus, but i got lucky and they were cool so I didn't spend a lot of time looking either. Just do lots of activities/parties/events and you'll meet tons of people, but if theyre fresh out of high school i find theyre kind of awkward and cagey sometimes, but thats nbd. coffee will help you stay up later to meet more people and do more activities.

What to do if you don't know what to do.

Be chill.


How to make your room your own?

posters are the standard, i prefer poster artwork (like van gogh prints) to band/movie/album posters. Weird furniture is always a hit, especially weird chairs. if you really want to make your room your own, piss on the doormat.

 

[Trax]

I made this post a couple of years ago to someone who was considering leaving home, it may have some relevance to you with regard to the financial side of living independently (as opposed to on the University Residence), you will have to make the logical connections to put it into your situation.

http://www.smogon.com/forums/thread...ung-age-while-in-school.3455704/#post-3883708

 

[Bummer]

Never been living in dorms, so my advice is more tailored for living in your own flat/apartment, but it should be applicable to most living situations.

How to buy cheap good food & How to cook and save money

As far as cooking goes, pasta and rice are super cheap and can be stored for an indefinite amount of time, so they're more manageable than potatoes although perhaps not as nutritious (not confirmed tho). Learn some standard recipes like meatsauce or stews and the like, and you'll het the hang of it just fine. Just don't put too much salt or seasoning into it, and be careful not to use too high temperatures, but other than that it's actually difficult to screw up cooking so badly that you can hardly eat the result. Most food can essentially be summarised as 'chop things apart, fry them altogether and then pour cream or tomato sauce on top' and there you have it, so once you've got some beginner's experience, feel free to experiment!

How to deal with your newly found independance

Keep things organised and tidy. You will fail at this at numerous occasions, but being the only person in charge of your living quarters and then slowly learning to master it really is the only way to go, and it's generally better to have good structure since several people can feel borderline depressed if they're living in a slump. I'm still struggling with doing that since it's so easy to postpone dishes and cleaning since (I assume) you're the only one in direct contact with it and thus it's easier to justify the situation if you're not bothered by it, but really, a tidy home is a great boon to your confidence since you'll be subconsciouslytelling yourself "yeah I got this".

How to make your room your own.

What others said. Posters, shelves with books, movies or other stuff related to your interests, and just generally deciding for yourself how to arrange the furniture.

What to do if you don't know what to do.

 

[whistle]

keep a budget for a little bit until you have a regular schedule - you spend more money than you think you are spending.

go out and do shit. don't sit in your room on your computer. introverted? don't like parties? go to a few anyways. you'll meet people who you can hang out with outside of parties in the future. not sure what you're interested in? go to meetings for a lot of different clubs then figure out what you want to join. it's easier to quit than to join halfway through the year.

rice + vegetables + meat + basic cooking skills = cheap, relatively healthy, filling food. it's hard to eat nothing but pasta five days a week without going crazy. you'd be surprised how well vegetables turn out if you just put them in a pan and kinda stare at them for a couple minutes.

 

[Rowan]

My Bulgarian flat-mate keeps wanting to share my food, how do I tell him to piss off in a nice way?

And yeah, I sort of guessed people would say similar things when it comes to keeping organised/keeping a budget, buying lots of pasta and rice and things like that (which I have done). I'm a lot more relaxed today tbh, and I'm actually fairly confident that I'll be able to get on and meet people without too much worry. :)

 

[DHR-107]

Definitely keep to a budget... I don't know how you pay rent etc, but if its all monthly, try to keep as much money as possible. We used to all our bills etc monthly, and we split the bills 4 ways (2 of us payed them, the other 2 paid us back).

I ate pretty well/had a good social life at Uni because I don't drink alcohol. You would be amazed at the stories some of my friends had where they would spend £50+ a night on alcohol and shit, not remember anything the next day then complain they have no money. Sure, going out once a week is fine if you keep to a budget. Basically, if you're going out, take like 20~30 bucks (I don't know how much drinks are over there) and leave your card at home. That way when you run out you can't get more :P

It's probably worth joining some clubs and stuff, and the people in your classes will be in the same boat. Don't be afraid of talking to people! It took my class at uni like 3 months before we started properly talking to each other/making friends and shit... Was awkward up until then. Don't try to force it, it will happen :P You'll likely find some really really great people at Uni who will turn out to be much better friends than people you've known for years.

I ate a lot of chips/pasta/fish/pizza etc like most people have said. If you are going down that route, make sure you try and keep fit/do exercise. I was in an Ultimate Frisbee club and it kept me really fit (probably the fittest I've been for a long time) and I loved it and the people who did it were really great fun. I used to go for a Chinese on a Tuesday night with my housemates which was a cool bonding thing :)

DON'T LET PEOPLE HAVE YOUR FOOD. Living with only 1 person it shouldn't be so bad, I was living with 3 other guys and it got REALLY messy sometimes when it came to food. We ended up having 1 shelf of fridge each and 1 shelf of freezer each. Anything not on your shelf had to be labelled etc. We shared milk/bread/eggs etc because they go off reasonably quickly. I used to spend about £20 a week on food for Dinner/breakfast and then would get food from uni/snack on stuff during the day. Also: make sure your fridge is clean... We had it all the time where like an apple or something else would get buried under other stuff and would start to rot in the back of the fridge...

 

[Rowan]

DHR (I'm from England too btw) I'm actually gonna end up sharing a kitchen with 7 other people, but there's only 2 of us that have arrived at the moment and he keeps saying stuff like 'I think it will be easier for everyone if we just share food' even though I bought a shitload and he has 1 box of eggs in the fridge ¬¬. I'm definitely planning on doing some exercise since beer+pasta will end up adding up, getting fat at uni is one of my main worries haha.

Alcohol is also a big worry. Don't get me wrong, I'll be up for a drink, but I really don't wanna be drinking that much every night. The people I met yesterday just sort of kept going on about how they're gonna get so drunk all the time. England seems to put massive social pressure on everybody drinking loads of booze though, more so than most countries from what I can tell. I guess I'll have to try and find people that don't want to get bladdered, and also learn the art of making it look like I'm drinking more than I am!

 

[Bummer]

Everyone have their own limit to alcohol to be aware of, so tread lightly if you don't wanna go too far. If someone needs to have their brains detached to have fun, then that's their choice, but I've never understood why someone should pressure someone into becoming drunk despite all of the risks related to it. Regarding your bulgarian friend (aka food communist), it's never bad to be generous as long as you don't get exploited, although I'd personally tell him to wait until everyone has moved in before setting down rules all residents are expected to abide by.

 

[Yeti]

if you will be sharing a kitchen and DON'T want people to take your personal food, but the frig is in the kitchen so anyone could, get stuff that doesn't need to be refrigerated: pasta/rice, lentils, BEANS and other canned vegetables. canned beans are especially good bc beans are a hearty addition to any meal: get a couple spices you like that can also be kept in your room or some sauce recipe you enjoy and put the beans over rice/noodles.

if you will be forced to cook with others and have group meals, casseroles and hefty stews/soups are without a doubt the most economical foods you can serve. you can also fix a lot of otherwise-inedible cheap cuts of meat by tossing them into broth to soften up for hours or disguising them with 10 other ingredients in a casserole. if you buy your own alcohol you may be surprised how quickly the price adds up if you aren't taking a can or two off your friends anymore but providing your own.

as for what to do now that mommy isn't doing all the dirty work and cleaning for you, take your diaper off and enter the real world. you'll have to learn sooner or later how to fix things, clean rooms, clean clothes, clean windows, etc. most, if not all, animals kick their young out of the nest at some point or other. some just leave the eggs to hatch on their own!

 

[Rowan]

just like to thank anyone for the advice. I have a new totally un-hypothetical situation.

If you were to move into halls at uni and you find out your next door neighbour is one of your ex-girlfriends male best friends and after breaking up with her, they were really horrible to you (I suppose I would say bullying), what would you do?

 

[Grey Knight]

Oh i remember how it felt , it was amazing especially when i rented my first apartment it was not paid by my money but i really felt independent and happy almost euphoric, it is nice to not having to share your bathroom with others ,really nice.
As for survival, start making simply staff, like rice and spaghetti then i start doing more complex things like
cooking various types of meat.
laundry is boring but it can be avoided, the first year college i used to pack my unwashed clothes along my baggage returned them to my mother that washed of course i was paying a lot of money plus because i was exceeding the plane's weight limit but it saved me for a lot of time after all time is money, if that doesn't work for you there is always some business specializing on cloth cleaning around, most of them don't charge depending on the amount of clothes so its good to stack up as much clothes you can before you send them there., oh as for friends they will come, unless you shit your self too often lol.

Edit:new issue

i think we need to focus on the bullying issue, being bullied by a girl in college is one of the weirdest things i ever heard i hardly see bullying from males in the college, this is serious or just too trollish.




sorry for my English i am European

 

[Soul Fly]

laundry is boring but it can be avoided, the first year college i used to pack my unwashed clothes along my baggage returned them to my mother that washed of course i was paying a lot of money plus because i was exceeding the plane's weight limit but it saved me for a lot of time after all time is money

Wait wtf, so you had a new shirt or whatever for every second day of the term/sem? (max amount of time assumed here to consider you are a civilized human being)

and if you did we're looking at a LOT of damn shirts. don't even get me started on the undergarments (I'm hoping at least you laundered them)

 

[GatoDelFuego]

laundry is boring but it can be avoided, the first year college i used to pack my unwashed clothes along my baggage returned them to my mother that washed of course i was paying a lot of money plus because i was exceeding the plane's weight limit but it saved me for a lot of time after all time is money, if that doesn't work for you there is always some business specializing on cloth cleaning around, most of them don't charge depending on the amount of clothes so its good to stack up as much clothes you can before you send them there., oh as for friends they will come, unless you shit your self too often lol.

what

i think we need to focus on the bullying issue, being bullied by a girl in college is one of the weirdest things i ever heard i hardly see bullying from males in the college, this is serious or just too trollish.

What the hell does this have to do with anything

 

[Soul Fly]

i think we need to focus on the bullying issue, being bullied by a girl in college is one of the weirdest things i ever heard i hardly see bullying from males in the college, this is serious or just too trollish.

What the hell does this have to do with anything

You need to read more hentai.

 

[Princess Bubblegum]

yo just make friends the same way you do online

uh... that's a problem for me

yeah I don't really have friends online either

in fact I am a Sophmore and don't have any friends :(

 

[Acklow]

If you were to move into halls at uni and you find out your next door neighbour is one of your ex-girlfriends male best friends and after breaking up with her, they were really horrible to you (I suppose I would say bullying), what would you do?

I'd offer the guy a Vodka.

Seriously tho, I would see if I could either
a) get on the dudes good side somehow
or
b) ignore his existence and if he bothers you, try to find some friends who can deal with the guy
or
c) take this to the how to deal with bullying thread and see what peeps have to say there

If you need to you can talk to one of my comrades, his name is Igor. He likes to talk with his fists.

 

[Oglemi]

a piece of advice i'd give is don't spend any "extra" money you get apart from on food (or alcohol every once in a while) or something you really really really really need/want (ie. don't spend stuff on fruitless things like video games or candy or clothes unless you need them); everything else should go straight into a bank, unless you have a really well paying job then you don't need help. you'd be surprised how much it helps with your budget

also cheap food will make you fat just fyi so workout often

re: how to make friends

leave your room and say hi to people, this is easiest to do in the first couple weeks; it's significantly harder to make friends even like a month in because most everyone else knows each other and have formed their own group of friends

 

[Seth Vilo]

I'm only in the beginning plans of leaving home myself, but I've been collecting things while I'm still with my parents and relatively expense free that I can use in the near future. One thing I've seen that I look forward to trying once they finally get my shipment out is something you Internet savvy people might have heard whispers of. Again, I don't know how good it is, but I'm waiting on my week-supply of trying it to get here and can let you know then if this thread is still alive. Here I go plugging it because in theory it's awesome. Soylent. A guy in California wondered what if he just got the raw ingredients out body needs in a powder form, added water, and drank it. He created this stuff, and has been living semi-exclusively on it for about 8-9 months. Still in beta for about a month, Soylent provides you will all the nutrition you need, and calculated out at the current price is about $9 a day. Yes, Ramen is cheaper (if I remember, you can get a years worth of Ramen, 3-meals-a-day, for about $130), but this doesn't kill you over time. Yeah, it's currently not quite up to full on sale and production, but once it gets into full production I plan on being a regular consumer. Provided I don't hate it of course.

Here's their site: http://blog.soylent.me/
Here's the creator's blog: http://robrhinehart.com/
Here's his original post on the stuff: http://robrhinehart.com/?paged=5

Google it! Cause it's been taking the Internet by storm for the past few months, and looks awesome to lil old me at least. I can't describe the times I don't eat because that means I have to get up and make food. Or am running late to class but still want breakfast.

EDIT: Oh. And here's the sight to order it if you have the desire. It's not available in a new shipment till early 2014 though... https://campaign.soylent.me/soylent-free-your-body

 

[Lanturn314]

re: how to make friends

leave your room and say hi to people, this is easiest to do in the first couple weeks; it's significantly harder to make friends even like a month in because most everyone else knows each other and have formed their own group of friends

This is somewhat true but also not really. Yes, freshman year I was mostly friends with the first people I connected with during orientation and the people who lived on my floor. I didn't really have much in common with them other than proximity, though, and by the time I had figured this out, the other freshmen had already formed their little cliques so it was impossible to make new friends... or so I thought. I spent the rest of that year relatively miserable with no "real" friends.

But sophomore year, I wised up and joined a bunch of clubs and a sorority. I also roomed with the one girl I actually truly got along with freshman year, plus her two best friends, and we all ended up becoming really close! It's the friends I made sophomore year who are the ones I'd consider to be life-long friends; there's no question about that in my mind. So if you don't make great friends your first week of school or even your entire freshman year, take heart-- there will still be many, many opportunities to form amazing friendships :) These opportunities come more frequently the more involved you are in things, so definitely keep that in mind!

 

[Oglemi]

yeah I mostly meant for dorm purposes, there's always other avenues to take to make friends on campus