This post might get quite long, and by extension, disjointed as I suck at organizing my thoughts, but whatever.
I've jkust recently (as in barely a week ago) indentified myself as bisexual. In retrospect, I've likely been having these feelings for maybe a year, but I just hadn't identified them as so. The thing that made me realize this is actually a thread in Firebot, specifically this one:
http://www.smogon.com/forums/thread...ou-think-they-should-tell-you-before.3499986/ (now that I think about it, i'm not sure why this was the "trigger" so to say, but meh). Specifically, when I read Jumpluff's posts, and that got me to think about what my reaction would be to finding out the person I was in a relationship was a transexual. My immediate thought was "I really just don't care if they are. I would still love them". After this thought, I then realized that I wouldn't mind if I ended up going out with another guy: my mind viewed it as "If I'm going to have a relationship with someone, I don't really care if they are guy/girl/trans/whatever other identification they use, I just want them to love me and be there for me." The funny thing is is that I didn't feel any huge sense of happiness or relief when this happened: it just felt "right", like it was how I always was, and I just didn't realize it. Then, a few days later, I had another epiphany, but this one was a much more emotionally laden one, but I won't talk about it here (unless people are actually curious about it).
As a result of this revelation, I actually started to notice some things about people around me that really started to irk me. The first thing is how most guys around me act. Now, this is a post that really sums up what my thoughts are currently:
Yes, most straight men are utterly shit. I am saying this with both the experience of being a guy and believing I was also straight until very recently. There are just so many things that men do that is just appaling to me. My biggest disgust is just how obsessed with sex they are. Maybe this is due to me being a virgin still, but being so hyper-fixated on sex and trying to "get it" with girls doesn't seem fun to me. Another thing I despise hearing is how obsessed they are about looks. I have heard so many guys talk about how smoking hot a girl is and how that suddenly makes them the greatest girl ever, and how a girl who does not look as good but is still relatively attractive, is "cow" and will never have a relationship with a guy ever. Now, i'm not saying that looks aren't important (I'll admit that I also take them into consideration), but when your main argument against a girl is that they aren't hot, then your are nothing but a pathetic, insensitive, and hateful piece of shit who can't think beyond what his fucking penis is telling him. As a result of this, I really made friends with girls, who I always found were much more fun to hang out with because they usually express their emotions and are more receptive of emotions as well (I am a very emotional person, although from what my friends have told me, I typically look like a calm and quiet person). Of course, this could also be the result of me typically making meaningful friendships with people who have been through emotionally scaring shit (which for me, seems to be girls), or just seem to project a sense of understanding and caring about people. Now, I'm not saying that all straight guys are utter pieces of shit that only want sex. Hell, one of my friends who I feel the closest to is a guy. What I am saying is that it is sickening that the majority of men are obsessed with having sex and "scoring" it with hot chicks.
Another thing that is a mix of both sad and funny is how vehemently some guys deny that they are gay when someone says they are. First of all, there is no fucking reason to get so worked up over it: are you so insecure about your sexuality that you need to lose your shit over being called gay? Secondly, what is the problem with being gay? Do you think that touching penises is gross? Pretty much all guys fucking masturbate daily, so why are you ok when you are touching and stroking your own penis, but the mere thought that someone thinks you are touching some other guys penis so horrifying? Are you that fucking childish? This is a question that I want some straight guys to answer: what is it about being gay that is so terrible that you find it disgusting and feel the need to ridicule it mindless? why do you find it "icky" or "gross"? If you aren't gay, that is fine. Just don't go around and perpetuate that being gay is somehow "wrong" and "gross".
Wow... not being at all judgmental of bigoted... not at all making sweeping and unfair generalizations...
This is a thread about LGBTQ, so I don't want to derail the subject, but after reading a post that invites it, I'd like to take the time to answer as a straight male.
Would you agree that a society where everyone can be open and honest about their sexuality is better? Where LGBTQ people would feel safer opening up, and where people did not have to feel in any way ashamed of their sexual feelings? I think this way-- and not only about sexuality; I think the world would be a better place if people could all be more honest, and all be more forgiving with all aspect of our lives that are human, that are animal, that are not perfect or godly. That may not be the way it works, nor might it even be practical-- but I think it's an ideal to shoot for.
And yet, here
you are belittling, demeaning, sneering at straight men for having open and honest expression about their own sexual desires; and you're not the only one-- I'm not sure why, but society feels it's ok for men who talk about women or sex to be labelled as "hound-dogs," "Depraved", "horny assholes," or what have you. It took me a long time growing up to realize it was "ok" to feel the way I do about women-- that it didn't make me gross, or evil, or a terrible person for having strong sexual urges; that was a huge part of my growing up in highschool. Yeah thanks modern media.
YOU might feel more apathetic to sex, but for those of us born full "straight male" and with strong sex drives, the urges, and "alphaness", the instincts we feel have a POWERFUL affect and influence on us-- and it's not something we can control or change about ourselves anymore than a straight woman, gay male, gay female, BT, asexual can change about their own sexualities. We are what evolution has made us.
So yes-- not for all, but for some men the drive to have sex just for sex is there, is wired into the DNA. Yes interest in women just because "they're hot" is also ingrained in there. And yes, being able to openly express feelings and frustrations born from those powerful instincts with other men who feel similarly in a safe environment or just openly can be fun, can make us feel good, and wow--
For someone to call that shameful, base, or "shit"-- I don't see how someone can say that and expect any sort of tolerance for their own sexuality.
Seriously, I'm all on-board letting people be people-- but wouldn't that be ridiculous if that sentiment is only meant for minorities?
Especially when in this case, a "majority" of "straight men" also gets the smear-campaign from standard media and sentiment.
As for your question about "gay grossness"--
I'm not sure, since I myself consciously don't think of it that way. I've even kissed guys before in drunken parties and whatever-- to be perfectly honest, the sensation itself seems pretty terrible; stubble on stubble was just pretty terrible for whatever reason. BUT I didn't think there was anything gross in the act itself, only the physical sensation. But for those who do have an uncontrollable unconscious feeling of "eww gross,"-- that too is something a person can't control, is it not? Yes these types of responses are socially ingrained (just like the feeling squeemish with roaches is), but while we can all work hard to change that ingrain-ment, treating people as terrible people for ingrained responses they can't control (and yet work to change) is pretty terrible as well-- don't you think?
And to make this criticism of straight men in the same post where you call them "shit" and disgusting for having sexual urges and talking about them-- that is
laughably hypocritical.
Yet another thing that has disturbed me is the responses from the same thread I linked near the beginning of this post. I saw that most of the posters were saying that they essentially had a right to know that the person they were dating was a transexual / was born a guy. now, tell me this: what exactly gives you the right to demand this kind of knowledge? It's obvious that this is a very personal piece of informastion that they are unlikely to divulge unless they feel they can trust you. Also, if you think that you can just demand this kind of information, don't you think that they can also demand incredibley personal knowledge of you? If you truely think that you have the fucking right to know such things about your partner, but they aren't able to do the same to you, then you are a massive hypocrite who doesn't deserve anybody.
Aurora I was reading your posts, and as someone who also had to suffer through their life with really nobody to help them cope, I just wish I could be there to help you get through this shit. Just remember this: the fact that you are able to still continue going despite having life just shit on you speaks bounds about your endurance, and I'm happy that you can still find reason to continue going on. If you need someone to talk to, I would be glad to :).
Wow, really? It's not ok to want to know more about the person you're about to have sex with? Never mind a relationship. It's not ok to want to have information to make educated choices for something as influential on your person and body as sex? That's absurd.
Treating people fairly is one thing-- but when it comes to making choices about your own love life, and sex (connected to your own body), I think you're entitled to know any damn well thing you please. Or at the very least, to say NO when not given enough info.
Or a better way to say it--
No matter who you are, or what the reason, you should always have the right to say NO to sex. It doesn't matter how unfair. It doesn't matter how illogical. It doesn't matter how prejudiced. For ANY reason (or for NO reason AT ALL), a person should always have the right to say NO to sex. Or love. period.
And if that reason is "not enough information about subject A"-- even if subject A is not knowing whether the other person used to be a guy--
I mean, every person is free to disclose as little or as much as they want, but depending on that, the other person is just as free to get involved or not.
If a drunk guy hops in bed with a "girl" and doesn't ask before doing the deed-- hey, that's on him. But if he should ask, and the other party doesn't answer, he has every right to get out of that room. And if he asks, and the other party LIES to him-- then without question the liar is at fault there.
If you disagree with anything I'd said here, I'll just say that's fucked.
