Lord Jesseus vs Doorknob

[Pallas Athena]

3v3 NFE Singles
2 Day DQ
Arena: ASB Tournament Arena
Switch=ok
Items=on for training items
All abilties
Also since you haven't specifies I'll say 0 recoveries/5 Chills

Alpha the Pupitar

Larvitar [Alpha] (Male)
Nature: Quiet (+SpA, -Spe)

Type:
Rock: Rock STAB; Take 2 less damage from all special attacks during Sandstorm. Able to use Sand Tomb without losing focus.
Ground: Ground STAB; Immune to all electrical attacks, can Dig through almost any substance, Evasive Digging reduced from 3 per action Energy Cost to 2 per action, superior senses in darkened cave surroundings.

Stats:
HP: 100
Atk: Rank 3
Def: Rank 3
SpA: Rank 4 (+)
SpD: Rank 3
Spe: 44 (-)
Evasion: -10%
Size Class: 3
Weight Class: 5
Base Rank Total: 17

EC: 7/9
MC: 2
DC: 5/5

Abilties:
Shed Skin: (Innate)
This Pokemon regularly sheds its skin and any impurities contained in its body. If afflicted with a status condition, this Pokemon has a 33% chance of removing all status conditions at the end of a round.
Shed Skin: (DW) (Innate)
This Pokemon regularly sheds its skin and any impurities contained in its body. If afflicted with a status condition, this Pokemon has a 33% chance of removing all status conditions at the end of a round.

Attacks (22):
Bite
Leer
Sandstorm
Screech
Chip Away
Rock Slide
Scary Face
Thrash
Earthquake
Crunch
Stone Edge
Hyper Beam
Dark Pulse

Curse
Outrage
Stealth Rock

Dig
Brick Break
Taunt
Smack Down
Payback
Earth Power

Beta the Lairon

Lairon [Beta] (Male)
Nature: Brave (+Atk, -Spe)

Type:
Rock: Rock STAB; Take 2 less damage from all special attacks during Sandstorm. Able to use Sand Tomb without losing focus.
Steel: Steel STAB; Immune to Sandstorm, highly insusceptible to toxic attacks, but can be corroded specifically by Acid and Acid Spray, can be magnetized. Superior senses in high-metal environments like construction sites or factories.
Stats:
HP: 90
Atk: Rank 4 (+)
Def: Rank 5
SpA: Rank 2
SpD: Rank 2
Spe: 34 (-)
Size Class: 2
Weight Class: 5 (120 kg)
Base Rank Total: 16
Evasion: -10%

EC: 6/9
MC: 7
DC: 5/5

Abilties:
Sturdy: (Innate) This Pokemon’s body is solidly constructed, reducing the Base Attack Power from an opponents incoming attacks by one (1). The effect is amplified on OHKO Moves, which are reduced by ten (10) Base Attack Power.
Rock Head: (Innate) This Pokemon’s hard body prevents it from taking recoil damage from moves such as Double-Edge, Flare Blitz, and Head Smash.
Heavy Metal: (DW) (Innate) The Pokemon's body structure is immensely dense, doubling its weight. When it uses a full-body attack or a weight-based attack it will do more damage, and it will be much harder to lift, throw, or knock back.

Attacks (19):
Tackle
Harden
Mud-Slap
Headbutt
Iron Defense
Metal Claw
Roar
Take Down
Metal Burst
Heavy Slam
Autotomise

Head Smash
Superpower
Endeavour

Dig
Earthquake
Aerial Ace
Protect
Hone Claws

Kappa the Seadra

Seadra [Kappa] (Female)

Nature: Quiet (+SpA, -Spe)

Type:
Water: Water STAB; Can breathe and have excellent mobility when underwater, are less capable on land unless they are entirely amphibious.

Stats:
HP: 90
Atk: Rank 3
Def: Rank 3
SpA: Rank 4 (+)
SpD: Rank 2
Spe: 74 (-)
Eva: -10%
Size Class: 2
Weight Class: 2
Base Rank Total: 16

EC: 6/9
MC: 1
DC: 5/5

Abilities:
Sniper: (Innate) This Pokemon has deadly accuracy and strikes sensitive points, increasing its critical hit bonus from +3 to +5 on single attacks, +2 to +3 on two-hit attacks, and +1 to +2 on multi-hit attacks.
Poison Point: (Can be Disabled) This Pokemon’s spikes/quills/thorns are coated in poison, and there is a 30% chance of poisoning any foe that uses a contact attack on this Pokemon. When disabled, all of this Pokemon's attacks that inflict regular poison will inflict Toxic poison (with the same chance of effect).
Damp (DW): (Innate) This Pokemon releases a damp mist upon entry into battle that short circuits the opponent’s ability to use Selfdestruct or Explosion.

Attacks (19):
Bubble
Smokescreen
Leer
Water Gun
Focus Energy
Bubblebeam
Agility
Brine
Hydro Pump
Dragon Dance

Outrage
Signal Beam
Disable

Surf
Hidden Power (Electric 7)
Ice Beam
Rest
Sleep Talk
Bounce
Dive
Substitute
Scald
Razor Wind

Slakoth

Slakoth [Laggers] (M)
Nature: Sassy (+1 SpD, -15% Speed, -10% Evasion)
Type:
Normal: Normal STAB; adapt comfortably to any surrounding after 3 actions. Able to use Outrage without losing focus.

Ability
Truant: (Trait) This Pokemon is naturally lazy, and only attacks twice every round, forsaking the second action of a round. Its Confusion stage will not be checked and it will not hit itself in confusion during the second action. It recovers 3% energy during each Truant turn. Truant can be altered or shifted by Skill Swap, Role Play, Gastro Acid, or Mummy, but is not changed by Entrainment, Simple Beam, or Worry Seed.

Stats:
HP: 90
Atk: Rank 2
Def: Rank 2
SpA: Rank 2
SpD: Rank 3 (+)
Spe: 26 (30/1.15=26)
Size Class: 1
Weight Class: 2
Base Rank Total: 12

EC: 0/9
MC: 0
DC: N/A

Attacks:
Scratch*
Yawn*
Encore*
Slack Off*
Faint Attack*
Amnesia*

Hammer Arm*
Crush Claw*
Body Slam*

Rock Slide*
Protect*
Aerial Ace*

Total: 12

Yamask

Yamask [Cairo] (M)
Nature: Quiet (+1 SpA, -15% Speed, -10% Evasion)
Type:
Ghost: Ghost STAB; brief intangibility that nullifies Normal and Fighting-type attacks. Can move through walls for a brief period of time but must remain in motion. Superior senses in low light and inside dark buildings. Have no vision reduction in hazes.

Ability
Mummy: (Innate) This Pokemon's skin has a lasting curse on it. When struck by an opponent's contact move, the curse transfers, changing the opponent's ability(ies) to Mummy for the next six (6) actions.

Stats:
HP: 90
Atk: Rank 2
Def: Rank 3
SpA: Rank 3 (+)
SpD: Rank 3
Spe: 26 (30/1.15=26)
Size Class: 1
Weight Class: 1
Base Rank Total: 14

EC: 0/6
MC: 0
DC: N/A

Attacks:
Astonish*
Protect*
Disable*
Haze*
Night Shade*
Hex*
Will-o-wisp*
Ominous Wind*

Endure*
Imprison*
Nasty Plot*

Trick Room*
Toxic*
Telekinesis*

Total: 14

Tyrogue

Tyrogue [Bruce] (M)
Nature: Impish (+1 Def, -1 SpA)
Type:
Fighting: Fighting STAB; ignore weight restrictions on Circle Throw, Seismic Toss, Sky Drop, Storm Throw, Submission, and Vital Throw. Superior reaction time in close quarters.

Abilities
Guts: (Innate) This Pokemon is tenacious and will work ever harder when under a status condition, raising the Base Attack Power of all its physical attacks by two (2). Pokemon with Guts ignore the attack drop from burn.
Steadfast: (Innate) If this Pokemon is flinched, it becomes aware of the speed difference and increases Speed by one (1) stage to make up the difference. This Speed boost is maintained at the end of each round.
Vital Spirit (DW Locked): (Innate) This Pokemon has a high vitality and alertness making it immune to sleep induced by other Pokemon. Its normal state of sleeplessness makes it take 1 less damage and energy/action from Ghost Curse. If it is put to sleep by a Pokemon with Mold Breaker it will wake up the next action. If a Pokemon with Vital Spirit also has Insomnia, its evasion is raised by one (1) stage permanently.

Stats:
HP: 90
Atk: Rank 2
Def: Rank 3 (+)
SpA: Rank 1 (-)
SpD: Rank 2
Spe: 35
Size Class: 1
Weight Class: 2
Base Rank Total: 12

EC: 0/6
MC: 0
DC: 0/5

Attacks:
Tackle*
Helping Hand*
Fake Out*
Foresight*

Mach Punch*
Hi Jump Kick*
Counter*

Protect*
Brick Break*
Rock Slide*

Total: 11

Doorknob will send out the first Pokemon, Lord Jesseus sends out his Pokemon and orders, Doorknob will order, I will ref.

Let's get to it.

 

[Doorknob]

"Uh-oh, these are all some pretty strong Pokemon! Don't worry, Laggers!"

Laggers stares blankly and lazily at his trainer.

"Oh well, let's get this moving."

 

[Lord Jesseus]

This seems a little unfair...
Go Seadra! With an Amulet Coin! To make things interesting, we won't be using Dive, Bounce, or substitute!

Seadra, start off with Scald, then Surf, then Scald again! If he's already burnt by Action 3, use Hydro Pump instead!

edit: Locked Moves
Seadra: Dive, Bounce, Substitute
Pupitar: Crunch, Dig, Taunt
Lairon: Heavy Slam, Endeavour, Protect

 

[Doorknob]

"Thanks for making this more fair, Jesseus! Laggers, try not to fall asleep, just make him fall asleep!"

Body Slam+Body Slam Combination~Truant~Yawn

 

[Pallas Athena]

(F)
HP: 90
Energy: 100
Other: None

(M)
HP: 90
Energy: 100
Other: None

Round One:

Good evening ASB, and welcome to the umpteenth weekly edition of KILL THE N00B!!! That's right, a new player's fully untrained team will be taking on the full power of three fairly well trained middle stage Pokemon in the hands of a long-time vet because they were stupid enough to not specify beginner battle! Aw, but such is life and the battle moves faster and I get counters sooner. So, now let's get this slugfest underway.

Doorknob starts off by praying to Mew/Ho-oh/Arceus depending on when he started playing the games, and sends out his LVL 999 CATERPIE LOL...

Sorry, technical difficulties. I meant he sends out a normal type. At this point, my dex starts to buzz since this is the first time I've seen this particularl Pokemon, so I open it for the following description:

"Slakoth: the American Pokemon. It's dream in life is to subjugate some poor female to make him a sammitch while he sits around the house all day and watches football. He trains constantly for his goal, and will never move both figuratively and literally until he becomes attracted and evolves."

By this point, LJ has unleashed his Pokemon into the pool surrounding the arena and my Dex goes off again with the new Pokemon: "Seadra: the feminism Pokemon. Female Seadra are frequently seen leading protests against the abominations males have committed to try and restrain the truly superior gender for centuries. They often turn violent after evolution, and will try to kill the wirst offenders via drowning them in a death symbolic of their excessive gluttony."


...I'm liking the sound of this battle already. Seadra begins by channeling her rage at being forced to confront the worst of the sexist pigs into literal heat, causing her blood to boil and heat up the water around it. When it becomes so hot that her body systems can no longer stand it, she blasts it forwards in a wave of intensely hot electricity and shoots it at Slakoth. The Pokemon makes no attempt to dodge, and barely feels the burn that emerges from the intensely hot liquid colliding with his skin. Instead, he just gets up, walks a few feet to the edge of the pool be Seadra, and falls on her.

The force of gravity boosts the attack, causing them to fall quite quickly towards the bottom while Seadra struggles to get the sexist pig off of her. Eventually, she comes up with the idea of manipulating the currents and causes them to life Slaktoh up and hurl him onto the land, causing him to take fairly substantial damage due to him being unable to catch himself due to sheer tiredness and the lack of desire to do anything.

Seadra follows her Women's Rights (rofl) rampage, inhaling deeply before shooting a powerful jet of water towards Slakoth, who is flipped back several times before he finally hits the ground. Unimpressed by the show of feminine weakness, he yawns loudly to demonstrate his manliness. Actually, it's because he's tired and lazy, but let's keep that out of our transcript, shall we?


Scald: 13 damage, Burn, 5 energy
Super Body Slam: 18 damage, 35 energy
Surf: 15 damage, 6 energy
Recharge
Hydro Pump: 16 damage, 7 energy
Yawn: 6 energy, Seadra is drowsy

(F)
Seadra
HP: 72
Energy: 82
Other: Drowsy (falls asleep one action)

(M)
Slakoth
HP: 40
Energy: 58
Other: Burned

Doorknob, LJ

 

[Doorknob]

"Keep hitting hard Laggers! I know you're tired, but..yeah..you're always tired."

Crush Claw + Hammer Arm Combination ~ Truant ~ Slack Off

IF Kappa uses Agility to try and dodge the combination, then use Rock Slide.

(Excellent flavor, Rediamond!)

 

[Lord Jesseus]

Brine~Sleep Talk: Surf, Brine, Hydro Pump, Bubblebeam~Brine
If you are still asleep in action 3, repeat action 2.

 

[Pallas Athena]

(F)
Seadra
HP: 72
Energy: 82
Other: Drowsy (falls asleep one action)

(M)
Slakoth
HP: 40
Energy: 58
Other: Burned

Round Two: Rubbing Salt in an open wound... LITERALLY!!!

Seadra decides that she has properly demonstrated the superiority of her sex, and may now rub it in... LITERALLY!!! She begins to release chemicals that make the water around her into a salty substance, creating a small area of ocean around her that she blasts up at the lazy empitome of the American male, who grimaces as the pain burns in his wounds but doesn't particularly do anything as he watches the game conclude in a TV way up in the main lobby. His vision is just that amazing. By this point, Seadra has realized that her opponent isn't even putting up a fight, and is bored to sleep by the sheer failure of the sexist pig before her.

However, something nags at the back of Slakoth's mind. Yes, it's a pop culture reference.

Hide

That's right, Slakoth slams his fist into the ground, creating a huge wave of energy and awesome shout as epic music begins to play, objecting to his mistreatment by the feminist bitch before her by pointing out flaws in her argument. He points out that she couldn't possibly convince the world to change to her views- the world didn't live in the kitchen. Furthermore, women were enslaved because they let themselves become enslaved, and men had done far more throughout history. Therefore,

*slams fist into desk and points as music begins to play*

'"MS. SEADRA. YOU ARE THE REAL KILLER!"

The audience begins to go wild as the ref slams his gavel down upon his bench (sweet upgrade) calling for order so the battle may continue. Amidst the choas, Seadra wakes back up very confused and very angry for being occused of murder, and preparing to show the annoying lawyer how real women argue.

She blasts up another batch of salty water, changing the bitter taste of truth into the salty taste of defeat as Slakoth goes down.

(F)
Seadra
HP: 55
Energy: 66
Other: Killstreak 1

(M)
Slakoth
KO

Brine: 18 damage, 7 energy
Slakoth loafs around! (+3 energy)
Seadra is fast asleep!
Crushing Blow: 17 damage, 20 energy, critical hit, Seadra wakes up
Brine: KO, 7 energy


Doorknob, send out Pokemon and orders.

 

[Doorknob]

"Good work, Laggers! You'll be more useful, eventually."

"Let's go Cairo! Take him out with some ghostly tricks!"

Toxic ~ Hex ~ Night Shade
If he uses Agility to dodge the attacks, then Trick Room the first time, Nasty Plot any other times.

 

[Lord Jesseus]

Hydro Pump~Surf~Chill

 

[Pallas Athena]

I apologise, but between bible study, ASM, reffing, studying for finals, and driver's ed my free time is really constrained, and I try to at least get calcs up every three days.

Hydro Pump: 17 damage, 7 energy
Toxic: Badly poisoned, 7 energy
Surf: 15 damage, 6 energy
Hex: 15 damge, 6 energy
Chill: +12 energy
Night Shade: 10 damage, 4 energy

(F)
Seadra
HP: 27
Energy: 65
Other: Killstreak 1, Badly Poisoned (2DPA)

(M)
Yamask
HP: 58
Energy: 83
Other: None

LJ~Doorknob~Inactivity~Reffing

 

[Lord Jesseus]

Surf¬Brine¬Surf
If he disables Surf, replace following Surfs with Hydro Pump.

Also, I'm going away on holiday for a week and I may or may not have access to the internet. So if I go inactive, that's why. If it gets out of control feel free to DQ me, but I'll be posting again for certain on the 18th.

 

[Doorknob]

Uh-oh, Cairo, this is a tough opponent!

Cairo: Hex ~ Protect ~ Hex

 

[Pallas Athena]

(F)
Seadra
HP: 27
Energy: 65
Other: Killstreak 1, Badly Poisoned (2DPA)

(M)
Yamask
HP: 58
Energy: 83
Other: None

Round Four: They're here

Who's here?

The tv people.

What tv people?

The ones that can possess your house and make for an epic movie that will ruin the average viewer's future experiences with clowns that it didn't already mess up.

Oh, the Poltergeist ones.

Yup, the Poltergeist ones. As our little Egyptian ghost continues to battle, he fairs poorly as Seadra roars, summoning a massive wave of feminists to flood into the arena and mob him, doing severe damage as he tries to float out of the crowd after giving them horrible illusions as punishment. In retaliation, he stares into Seadra's eyes, causing her to shudder as she begins to rip her own skin off in an attempt to purge herself of the poison inside of her body, both real and imagined. And then she stops, and realises that she doesn't actually have a way to tear her skin off. However, the psychological and physical damage is already done.

Sensing an attempt to purge him from the world, Cairo creates a huge mass of flying objects and telekentic bites around him that prevents anything from reaching him, including the blast of saline water she throws in an attempt to break through. The attack does nothing, and for now the light remains hidden and the children locked away by the phantoms. Not willing to give up her third wave feminist roles and play the role of the protagonist in a largely female-centric movie that somewhat implies that women's best (only) role is in the home, it doesn't look like Seadra will be the one to win this round.

Going in for one last round before the kill, Seadra calls up a huge wave of water while simultaneously bending over from a mindfuck (take that women) from Cairo, that ends in a moment of tense suspense before they both float to the water's surface... but only the Yamask goes willingly.

(F)
Seadra
KO
Killstreak: 1

(M)
Yamask
HP: 28
Energy: 58
Other: Hauntingly good
Killstreak: 1

Hide

Surf: 15 damage, 6 energy
Hex: 15 damage, 6 energy
Protect: blocks Brine, 13 energy
Brine: Blocked, 7 energy
Surf: 15 damage, 6 energy
Hex: Critical Hit, KO, 18 damage, 6 energy

Doorknob~LJ

 

[Pallas Athena]

Doorknob, you have 12 hours.

 

[Doorknob]

I have to wait for Jesseus to send out his pokemon, right?

 

[Pallas Athena]

/me face palms.

SOMEONE HAS 12 HOURS!!!

 

[Lord Jesseus]

Oh right I'm dead lolz go Lairon!

 

[Doorknob]

Will-o-wisp->Night Shade->Night Shade

IF Willowisp misses, then do it again.

 

[Lord Jesseus]

Head Smash¬Dig¬Metal Claw
edit: I did too, fixed

 

[Pallas Athena]

You agreed not to use Heavy Slam

 

[Pallas Athena]

(M)
Larion
HP: 90
Energy: 100
Killstreak: 0
Other: I BE HEAD SMASHIN

(M)
Yamask
HP: 28
Energy: 58
Other: ...help?
Killstreak: 1

Round Five: How to fail at life

Step one you say we need to talk
Larion comes out and you start to gawk
He just glares back at you
You begin to shudder through and through

You see him to your left or right
LJ says left, but you say right
Between the spectators and shame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did you go wrong? Your couldn't hit
Somewhere alone in battle's bitterness
And he fires back all right
But you know never to aim right

You let him know who knows best
By digging down and leaving him to the rest
Try to evade his defense
While he keeps firing in innocence
In a list of what is wrong
It's what I've told you all along
I pray to God he hears you
And you pray to God as he pierces you

'Cause where did you go wrong? You missed a wisp
Somewhere along in the terror's grip
If I worked with you all of the night
I might teach you how to aim right

As he begins to raise his claws
You stay down without a moments pause
Wait until the scars do show
And burn him in what follows

(M)
Larion
HP: 88
Energy: 76
Other: Burned, Mummy Four Actions
Killstreak: 0

(M)
Yamask
HP: 8
Energy: 25
Other: Failing at life
Killstreak: 1


Head Smash: Miss, 11 energy
Will-o-wisp: Miss, 7 energy
Larion dug underground!
Will-o-wisp: Miss, 11 energy
Dig: 10 damage, 10 energy, mummy activates
Metal Claw: 10 damage, 3 energy
Will-o-wisp: Hit, burn inflicted

 

[Lord Jesseus]

Bite¬Payback¬Bite
If he uses Endure, Bite¬Hone Claws¬Chill

 

[Doorknob]

Let's see how much Bruce can clean up...

Endure ~ Night Shade ~ Night Shade

 

[Lord Jesseus]

It irritates me that I actually have no response to Endure. :/