Madotsuki vs. AOPSUser! The horror of Sethim!

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Now zen...ve ah about to project ze trainers eento your head, Ben. Just relax und let ze macheen do eetz vork.


Alright, doc...hey, has anyone been hurt using this thing?


Vat? Of course not! Zees eez the first time I've tried it on a human!


Wait, what?!


Now zen...prepare ze projection lazer!

*The machine's laser thing starts to glow. Meanwhile, right next to Ben....*


I'm not liking the look of this...

<Hey! I'll bet that machine tastes like the letter D.>


Seth, no!

*Seth walks into the machine's path just as Dr. Verylongname fires the projection laser, transporting Madotsuki and AOPS into the Togekiss's head!*


OH NO! VHY DEED YOU DO ZAT, YOU FOOL?!


<Something in my head tickles.>

Da Rules said:
Switch = Why.jpg
2 day DQ
2 subs
1 recovery/3 chills
all abilities
items = training
Arena=The Ref's Sethim's Mind - Where whatever the fuck I feel like happens!
Tonight's warriors are...

Madotsuki:

Deino [Jack Noir] (M)
Nature: Mild (+Special Attack, -Defense)
Type:
Dark/Dragon

Dark: Dark STAB; immunity to all telepathic and telekinetic attacks, better performance in all darkened and especially twilight conditions. Can use any Dark-type attack regardless of Attraction.

Dragon: Dragon STAB; more in touch with legendary or special auras in arenas. Able to use Thrash without losing focus.

Abilities:

Hustle (Can be Enabled) - This Pokemon puts immense force and speed in its physical attacks, increasing the Base Attack Power of all its physical attacks by three (3), but the haste used lowers their accuracy to 80% of normal.

Stats:

HP: 90
Atk: Rank 3
Def: Rank 1 (-)
SpA: Rank 3 (+)
SpD: Rank 2
Spe: 38
Size Class: 1
Weight Class: 2
Base Rank Total: 13

MC: 0
EC: 0/9

Attacks:
Tackle
Dragon Rage
Focus Energy
Bite
Headbutt
Dragonbreath
Roar
Crunch

Dark Pulse
Earth Power
Head Smash

Dragon Tail
Taunt
Work Up

Breezi [Feferi] (F)
Nature: Quirky (No change)
Type: Poison/Flying

Poison: Poison STAB; immunity to Poison/Toxic, see and breath through smog/smokescreens/haze uninhibited. Able to use Wrap and Bind without losing focus. Superior senses in urban settings.

Flying: Flying STAB; immunity to Ground attacks except under the effects of Smack Down and Gravity, even for ground-based flying Pokemon. Will always hit foes with Dig (except other Flying types) and Dive. Cannot be hit by Dive unless the attacking Pokemon has a size class greater than four (4). Immune to Spikes and Toxic Spikes. Enhanced aerial mobility. Superior senses in open air arenas.

Abilities:
Persistent: (Innate) This Pokemon has a great affinity for odd field effects. When it uses one of these effects it increases their duration. Moves affected are Gravity, Heal Block, Lucky Chant, Magic Room, Safeguard, Trick Room, Tailwind, and Wonder Room by an additional one (1) round or three (3) actions depending on the move.

Vital Spirit: (Innate) This Pokemon has a high vitality and alertness making it immune to sleep induced by other Pokemon. Its normal state of sleeplessness makes it take 1 less damage/action from Ghost Curse. If it is put to sleep by a Pokemon with Mold Breaker it will wake up the next action.

Unburden(DW): (Innate) This Pokemon is incredibly possessive. If it uses or loses an item in battle its rage swells and its speed doubles (x2) until it receives another item.

Stats:

HP: 90
Atk: Rank 2
Def: Rank 2
SpA: Rank 3
SpD: Rank 2
Spe: 85
Size Class: 1
Weight Class: 1
Base Rank Total: 14

MC: 0
DC: 1/5
EC: 2/6

Attacks:
Gust
Tailwind
Encore
Rapid Spin
Knock Off
Copycat
Whirlwind
Razor Wind
Sludge Bomb
Toxic Spikes

Spikes
Stealth Rock
Wish

Trick Room
Taunt
U-turn

VS.

AOPSUser:


Machoke "Fists of Glory" (M)
Nature: Quiet (+Special Attack, -10% Speed)

Type: Fighting
Fighting: Fighting STAB; ignore weight restrictions on Circle Throw, Seismic Toss, Sky Drop, Storm Throw, Submission, and Vital Throw. Superior reaction time in close quarters.

Abilities:
Guts: (Innate) This Pokemon is tenacious and will work ever harder when under a status condition, raising the Base Attack Power of all its physical attacks by two (2). Pokemon with Guts ignore the attack drop from burn.
No Guard: (Innate) This Pokemon has an immense confidence from perfecting each of its attacks, giving them all perfect accuracy. As a result, it feels it can weather every strike, and will not dodge an attack even if ordered to. Only when an OHKO move is issued by the opponent does sense return, and the Pokemon acts normally. Additionally, even with their extra skill, the power and exhaustion involved in using OHKO moves prevents them from being benefited by No Guard; they will have their normal accuracy.
Steadfast (DW Locked): (Innate) If this Pokemon is flinched, it becomes aware of the speed difference and increases Speed by one (1) stage to make up the difference. This Speed boost is maintained at the end of each round.

Stats:
HP: 100
Atk: Rank 4
Def: Rank 3
SpA: Rank 3 (+)
SpD: Rank 2
Spe: 39 (-)
Size Class: 3
Weight Class: 4
Base Rank Total: 16
-10% Evasion

EC: 6/9
MC: 0
DC: 2/5

Attacks:

Low Kick
Leer
Focus Energy
Karate Chop
Foresight
Low Sweep
Seismic Toss
Revenge
Vital Throw
Cross Chop
Dynamicpunch
Submission
Wake-Up Slap

Close Combat
Counter
Encore

Toxic
Fire Blast
Earthquake

Total: 19


Metang "CPU" (U)
Nature: Sassy (+Special Defense, -15% Speed, -10% Evasion)

Type: Psychic/Steel
Steel: Steel STAB; immune to Sandstorm, highly insusceptible to toxic attacks, but can be corroded specifically by Acid and Acid Spray, can be magnetized. Superior senses in high-metal environments like construction sites or factories.
Psychic: Psychic STAB; less susceptible to blinding, more susceptible to sound-based assaults as far as locking on with Psychic attacks, can lift and throw opponents with Psychic regardless of Special Attack Rank. Psychic-type attacks are not godlike and cannot be used as a catchall for Disabling, Binding, and redirecting opposing attacks.

Abilities:
Clear Body: (Innate) This Pokemon’s body structure makes it immune to status lowering moves used by opponents. (e.g. Intimidate, Growl, Screech etc.)
Light Metal (DW Locked): (Innate) The Pokemon's body is made of a lightweight but extremely strong alloy. It weighs half as much as other members of the species, but is equally sturdy. The Pokemon executes weak attacks much more effectively, adding +1 priority to all their attacks with 6 or less Base Attack Power (after other ability adjustments). Priority is applied to the summed Base Attack Power of a multi-hit move (e.g. Double Kick has priority at 6 BAP, Skill Link Bullet Seed doesn't at 15 BAP.)

Stats:
HP: 90
Atk: Rank 3
Def: Rank 4
SpA: Rank 2
SpD: Rank 4 (+)
Spe: 43 (-)
Size Class: 2
Weight Class: 6 [5 Light Metal]
Base Rank Total: 16
-10% Evasion

EC: 7/9
MC: 1
DC: 4/5

Attacks:

Take Down
Magnet Rise
Metal Claw
Confusion
Scary Face
Pursuit
Miracle Eye
Meteor Mash
Bullet Punch
Agility
Iron Defense
Psychic
Hyper Beam

Headbutt
Iron Head
Zen Headbutt
Earthquake

Total: 17


Starting Arena:
The sound that the color yellow makes: The famous M.C. Escher painting with the staircases, except the place is made entirely out of Larch trees that breathe fire. There are also Robo-ref yukkuris all over. If a steel-type attack is not used at all this round, things will happen.

How this shit goes down
Mado attaches any items
AOPS does the same + orders
Mado orders
You guys learn just how fucked up my Togekiss is
 
"Hah! What kind of bullshit mind is this!" snorted Madotsuki. "There isn't even any phallic imagery!"



<I don't think it's so bad,> said Feferi. <Look, there's even some nat->

Suddenly, a burst of fire blew forth from one of the trees she was looking at, sending her flinching backwards into Jack. <Oof!>



<Still think it's not so bad?> said Jack. <This is awful. And to make it worse, the other asshole counter-teamed! We're going to die in this hell, Feferi. DIE in it.>
<It could still be worse,> replied Feferi. <That Togekiss could have been into vore.>
<No. Shut up. Now.>
<Vore is the worst fetish, and you kno->
<I KNOW IT I JUST DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT>

"You know what this place needs to really feel like home?" said Madotsuki. "Some blood. Let's get to it, guys!"

<There she is with the blood again,> said Feferi. <Always with the blood.>
<For once I gotta agree with ya, Feferi,> said Jack. <It really is kinda excessive. But I think her hearts in the right place, if you know what I mean!>
<Above her left lung?>

I DON'T GOT NO ITEMS
 
"Is Togekiss really THAT BAD?"

Machoke@Lucky Egg: Dynamicpunch (Deino)*3
Metang@EXP. Share: Zen Headbutt (Breezi) --- Iron Head (Deino) --- Zen Headbutt (Breezi)
 
(Wait
Did I really
FUCK I forgot I actually needed to provide "ACTIONS")

<Hey, Mado! Wake the hell up!> shouted Jack.
"Huh?" Madotsuki said, dazed. "Oh. Right. I was seeing if falling asleep here would take me to the hand staircase again..."

Jack Noir (Hustle ACTIVATE): Earth Power - Dragon Rage - Earth Power (All at Metang)
Feferi: U-turn - Trick Room - U-turn (All at Metang)


"We'll at least take ONE of them out!"
 
Madotsuki:
|

Jack Noir | Feferi
Nothing | Nothing
HP: 90 | HP: 90
EN: 100 | EN: 100
Stats: 3/1/3/2/38 | Stats: 2/2/3/2/85
Hustle (ON) | Persistent
None | Vital Spirit
No ailments | No ailments
No stat changes | No stat changes
No other | No other

VS.

AOPSUser:
|

Fists of Glory | CPU
Exp. Share | Lucky Egg
HP: 100 | HP: 90
EN: 100 | EN: 100
Stats: 4/3/3/2/39 | Stats: 3/4/2/4/43
Guts | Clear Body
No Guard | Locked
No ailments | No ailments
-10 evasion | -10 evasion
No other | No other


Ohh, zees eez bad, very bad...


So they're stuck in Seth's head? What's the big deal? You can get them out, right?


Vell, yes, but eet eez a very delicate process. For starters, I must make sure zee trainers are alive-


Alive? You said it would just be a simulation!


Bah! Seemulations are no substitute to zee real sing!


So what?! If the chief finds out about this one, he's gonna have ALL our heads!


Fine, fine...first, vee must locate zee trainers...quite a challenge in a mind as...unstable...as zees specimen's....

Round 1: I have no idea where we're going
♫Nightmare


<Hi there! My name's Sethim, what's yours?>

<...>

<...You know what? I think I'm gonna call you Wally. Because I like standing on walls. Except I can't do that. That's no fun.>

<There are pokemon in my head. They're in that place what the color yellow sounds like. It's kinda like that painting with the staircases, except they're made out of trees.>

<That breathe fire.>

<It's noisy in there. Do you like noisy places, Wally? I do; they're fun. Unless people are dying. Then they're sad. This place is noisy because there are robot heads. They all tell me to take it easy.>

<Two of the pokemon are ganging up on a Deino. They beat him down hard. And then one of the staircases lets out a big burp on a Machoke. He's flailing about and screaming. That's no fun.>

<And there's this Breezi, she makes herself slower. That's funny.>

<Well, I'm bored with this place now, Wally. Let's have tuna with bacon.>


Yes...very unstable, indeed...

Order: Breezi, Metang, Machoke, Deino

Action 1
Feferi used U-Turn! (Target: Metang)
-Crit chance (Crit <= 625 unless stated otherwise): 7087 = NOPE.
-Damage: 7 + 3 - 6 = 4 damage
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 3877 = NOPE.
CPU used Zen Headbutt! (Target: Breezi)
-Hit chance (Hit <= 9000): 5741 = Hit
-Crit chance: 6224 = NOPE.
-Damage: (8 + 3 + 4.5 - 3) * 1.5 = 18.75 damage
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 4856 = NOPE.
Fists of Glory used Dynamic Punch! (Target: Deino)
-Crit chance: 6828 = NOPE.
-Damage: (10 + 3 + 6 - 1.5) * 1.5 = 26.25 damage!
-Confusion type (1 = slight; 2 = severe; 3 = intense): 2 = severe
Jack Noir is confused! (3 actions)
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 5491 = NOPE.
-Move chance (Hit self <= 5000): 1665 = NOPE.
Jack Noir hurt himself in his confusion!
-Damage: 4 + 4.5 - 1.5 = 7 damage
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 3794 = No flaming belches this action...
Numbers:
-Deino: -33.25(Ouch!) HP, -3 EN
-Breezi: -18.75 HP, -5 EN
-Machoke: -7 EN
-Metang: -4 HP, -5 EN

Action 2 (Priority: Metang, Machoke, Deino, Breezi)
CPU used Iron Head! (Target: Deino)
-Crit chance: 936 = OHHHHHHHHHH...
-Damage: 8 + 3 + 4.5 - 1.5 = 11 damage
-Effect chance (Flinch <= 3000): 6908 = NOPE.
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 5129 = NOPE.
The yukkuris are taking it easy!
Fists of Glory used Dynamic Punch! (Target: Deino)
-Crit chance: 3627 = NOEP.
-Damage: (10 + 3 + 6 - 1.5) * 1.5 = 26.25 damage!
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 6295 = Come on! I wanna see someone go up in flames!
Jack Noir snapped out of confusion!
Jack Noir used Dragon Rage!
(Target: Metang)
-Damage: 10 damage
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 5723 = Wait, didn't this number show up earlier?
Feferi used Trick Room!
Feferi twisted the dimensions!
(5 rounds)
Numbers:
-Deino: -37.25(Ouch!) HP, -4 EN
-Breezi: -10 EN
-Machoke: -11 EN
-Metang: -10 HP, -5 EN

Action 3
Jack Noir used Earth Power! (Target: Metang)
-Crit chance: 7697 = NOPE.
-Damage: (9 + 4.5 - 6) * 1.5 = 11.25 damage
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 8269 = NOPE.
Fists of Glory used Dynamic Punch! (Target: Deino)
Fuck calculations - Jack Noir used die!
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 2283 = FINALLY.
A stairway belches flames at Fists of Glory!
-Crit chance: 4266 = NOPE.
-Damage: 10 + 7.5 - 3 = 14.5 damage
-Effect chance (Burn <= 1000): 9841 = NOPE.
CPU used Zen Headbutt! (Target: Breezi)
-Hit chance (Hit <= 9000): 6544 = Hit
-Crit chance: 1134 = OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
-Damage: (8 + 3 + 4.5 - 3) * 1.5 = 18.75 damage
-Effect chance (Flinch <= 2000): 7216 = NOPE.
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 6883 = NOPE.
Feferi used U-turn! (Target: Metang)
-Crit chance: 5507 = NOPE.
-Damage: 7 + 3 - 6 = 4 damage
-I'm gonna burn you chance (Flamethrower <= 3000): 8072 = NOPE.
Numbers:
-Deino: -19.5 HP, -7 EN
-Breezi: -18.75 HP, -5 EN
-Machoke: -14.5 HP, -15 EN
-Metang: -15.25 HP, -5 EN

Final Numbers:
-Deino: -90 HP, -14 EN
-Breezi: -38 (37.5) HP, -20 EN
-Machoke: -15 (14.5) HP, -33 EN
-Metang: -29 (29.25) HP, -15 EN

Madotsuki:
|

Jack Noir | Feferi
Nothing | Nothing
HP: KO | HP: 52
EN: 86 | EN: 80
Stats: 3/1/3/2/38 | Stats: 2/2/3/2/85
Hustle (ON) | Persistent
None | Vital Spirit
Faint | No ailments
No stat changes | No stat changes
No other | No other

VS.

AOPSUser:
|

Fists of Glory | CPU
Exp. Share | Lucky Egg
HP: 85 | HP: 61
EN: 67 | EN: 85
Stats: 4/3/3/2/39 | Stats: 3/4/2/4/43
Guts | Clear Body
No Guard | Locked
No ailments | No ailments
-10 evasion | -10 evasion
No other | No other

Field Effects:
Trick Room (5 rounds)

New Arena:
Tuna with Bacon - A big, blank void full of gargantuan tuna fish and even bigger strips of bacon. All pokemon have the levitate ability for this round. There is no water, no plants, no rocks, only meat.

Godspeed, Mado.
 
"...OKAY. We're gonna lose."
<Is this... bacon?> Feferi seemed to shrink. <Okay, even I'M weirded out. I like bacon, but not like this!>
"Let's just get it over with... or maybe..." Madotsuki thought to herself for a moment. "Yes! That's JUST crazy enough to work!"
<That usually means it's crazy enough to just be crazy and not work at all. But it's always funny!>

Feferi: ALL THREE TURNS GRAB BACON AND ATTEMPT TO FORCE-FEED MACHOKE UNTIL HE DIES OF ARTERIAL BLOCKAGE

<Do you REALLY not have a better plan?>
"We've gotta fight crazy with crazy! Except we're not really FIGHTING the crazy, just... DO IT OKAY?"
 
"Unfortunately for you, due to him muscles, Machoke can eat a lot of bacon."

Machoke: Dynamicpunch (Breezi)*3
Metang: Zen Headbutt (Breezi)*3
 
Madotsuki:
|

Jack Noir | Feferi
Nothing | Nothing
HP: KO | HP: 52
EN: 86 | EN: 80
Stats: 3/1/3/2/38 | Stats: 2/2/3/2/85
Hustle (ON) | Persistent
None | Vital Spirit
Faint | No ailments
No stat changes | No stat changes
No other | No other

VS.

AOPSUser:
|

Fists of Glory | CPU
Exp. Share | Lucky Egg
HP: 85 | HP: 61
EN: 67 | EN: 85
Stats: 4/3/3/2/39 | Stats: 3/4/2/4/43
Guts | Clear Body
No Guard | Locked
No ailments | No ailments
-10 evasion | -10 evasion
No other | No other

Field Effects:
Trick Room (5 rounds)

Round 2: Salmonella


<Hi, Wally! Pokemon are still in my head. They're in a place full of tuna with bacon. The tuna all band together to form one large tuna.>

<It's a bad formation, with an amateurish dorsal fin.>

<Now that Machoke and Metang are ganging up on that Breezi, who's trying to shove bacon down that Machoke's throat. He chokes on it. That's not nice. Then they beat the Breezi up. That's not nice eith->

*BWEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWRRRR*


SUCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS!!!


<There aren't pokemon in my head anymore.>

Order: Machoke, Metang, Breezi

Action 1
Fists of Glory used Dynamic Punch! (Target: Breezi)
-Crit chance: 5791 = NOPE.
-Damage: (10 + 3 + 6 - 2) * .44 = 7.48 damage
-Confusion type (1 = slight; 2 = severe; 3 = intense): 3 = Man, this is gonna be awful.
Breezi is confused! (4 actions)
CPU used Zen Headbutt! (Target: Breezi)
-Hit chance (Hit <= 9000): 1630 = Hit
-Crit chance: 8420 = NOPE.
-Damage: (8 + 3 + 4.5 - 3) * 1.5 = 18.75 damage
-Effect chance (Flinch <= 2000): 2601 = NOPE.
-Hit self chance (Hit self <= 5000): 9274 = Good to go!
Feferi tried to shove bacon down Fists of Glory's throat!
Fists of Glory is choking on bacon! (-15 HP Machoke)
Numbers:
-Breezi: -26.23(!) HP, -8 EN
-Machoke: -15 HP, -19 EN
-Metang: -9 EN

Action 2
Fists of Glory used Dynamic Punch! (Target: Breezi)
-Crit chance: 8810 = NOPE.
-Damage: (10 + 3 + 6 - 2) * .44 = 7.48 damage
CPU used Zen Headbutt! (Target: Breezi)
-Hit chance (Hit <= 9000): 5873 = Hit
Welp, that's it.
Numbers:
-Breezi: -25.77(!) HP
-Machoke: -23 EN
-Metang: -13 EN

Final Numbers:
-Breezi: -52 HP, -8 EN
-Machoke: -15 HP, -42 EN
-Metang: -21 EN

Madotsuki:
|

Jack Noir | Feferi
Nothing | Nothing
HP: KO | HP: KO
EN: 86 | EN: 72
Stats: 3/1/3/2/38 | Stats: 2/2/3/2/85
Hustle (ON) | Persistent
None | Vital Spirit
Faint | No ailments
No stat changes | No stat changes
No other | No other

VS.

AOPSUser:
|

Fists of Glory | CPU
Exp. Share | Lucky Egg
HP: 70 | HP: 61
EN: 25 | EN: 64
Stats: 4/3/3/2/39 | Stats: 3/4/2/4/43
Guts | Clear Body
No Guard | Locked
No ailments | No ailments
-10 evasion | -10 evasion
No other | No other

Field Effects:
Trick Room (4 rounds)

Prizes:

Madotsuki:
1 CC
Deino: +1 EC and 2 MC
Breezi: +1 EC, 1 DC and 2 MC

AOPSUser:
1 CC
Machoke: +1 EC, 1 DC, 3 MC and 1 KOC
Metang: +1 EC, 1 DC, 2 MC, 1 KOC and either 1 extra DC or 1 extra EC

The Wanderer:
4 UC

Well done, guys.
 
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