1. Welcome to Smogon Forums! Please take a minute to read the rules.
  2. New to the forums? Check out our Mentorship Program!
    Our mentors will answer your questions and help you become a part of the community!

Mr. 2,997 - A Tale of Two Buttocks

Discussion in 'Smogon's Greatest Hits' started by Dweedle, Apr 5, 2006.

  1. Dweedle

    Dweedle
    is a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2004
    Messages:
    3,460
    Mr. 3,000 - A Tale of Two Buttocks

    The forum is roaring as Dweedle comes up to bat. His shapely buttocks flap in the wind, causing every woman in the forum to faint. The forum's noise is still great because only two of the registered members on Smogon were women at birth (and still are).

    The team Smogon manager, Brain, yells from the dugout, "Entrez vos fesses bien faites dans mon recouvrement!" Dweedle doesn't understand Canadian, but spits on the plate and winks as if to acknowledge whatever manager Brain's wacky command was.

    Dweedle finally turns his head to face the pitcher. His old nemesis. GGFan of the Lionhearts. From behind, Dweedle hears a shout from the crowd, "BRB PASTA!" Dweedle isn't sure what this means, but interprets it as encouragement.

    GGFan shakes off sign after sign. What pitch could he want to throw? Dweedle knew that GGFan sensed something different about him. There was a fire in his eye. A fire. Not a flame, which GGFan often saw in Dweedle's eyes before, when he was about to smack a double down the left-field line. Or lay down the perfect bunt and make a single out of it. GGFan always caught a flame in Dweedle's eye, just for a split second, right before he made a clutch hit. This time, it was a full fledged fire, feeding off GGFan's anxiety like it was oxygen. GGFan knew the reason.

    This is what Dweedle had been dreaming of ever since he first posted on the Smogon Forums. He had finally made it to 2,999 posts, and was about to make his historic 3,000th. Only two other people in the history of the Smogon Forums have reached the elusive 3,000 plateau, one of them being the Commissioner himself, chaos. Dweedle was driven by the thought of being in such company.

    Finally, GGFan nods and accepts the catcher’s sign, although seemingly reluctantly. Fastball inside was Dweedle’s initial thought, and thus he was surprised when the curveball came. But this curveball hung and hung for Dweedle, much like his penis can. It seemed as though it was only going 5 miles an hour. Dweedle started his backswing and his mystical buttocks tensed to give him more torque.

    When Dweedle swung through the ball, it made a loud pop, at which everyone in the forum gasped, and then remained silent for the remainder of the ball’s angelic flight into the center field stands. Dweedle did it! His 3,000th post! Unbelievable! Dweedle is the new Mr. 3,000!
  2. cook

    cook
    is a Past WCoP Winner

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2005
    Messages:
    1,658
    teehee

  3. Steelicks

    Steelicks Come here and Battle me!
    is a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    3,764
    GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DWEEDLE!

    this was a fantastic thread you are soooooooooooooo kawaii ^_________^
  4. Hipmonlee

    Hipmonlee Have a rice day
    is a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnusis a Past WCoP Winner

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    7,323
    I would consider smogon the luckiest forum in the world if your next 3000 posts were half as good as your last 3000.

    Have a nice day.
  5. Carl

    Carl or Varl
    is a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnusis a Past SPL Winner

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2004
    Messages:
    4,540
    I think Hip wants to have buttsex Dweeds since I hear you two haven't done it in a while..
  6. The.Lost.Hylian

    The.Lost.Hylian I'll have what you're drinking
    is a Researcher Alumnus

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    5,795
    I am the other :o
  7. dynamo

    dynamo

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2005
    Messages:
    1,782
    iirc bh has over 3,000 posts too.

    congrats dweedle.
  8. Shiv

    Shiv mostly harmless
    is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnusis a Past WCoP Winner

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Messages:
    5,870
    Congrats Dweedle, awesome way to write this topic up!

    bh has 2,939 btw
  9. Hipmonlee

    Hipmonlee Have a rice day
    is a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnusis a Past WCoP Winner

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    7,323
  10. DM

    DM Ce soir, on va danser.
    is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon IRC SOp Alumnus

    Joined:
    May 24, 2005
    Messages:
    12,758
    *sniff*

    Oh, no, I just had something in my eye. Yeah, it was a historic an incredible thread. I got it out.
  11. chaos

    chaos
    is a member of the Site Staffis a Battle Server Administratoris a Programmeris a Smogon IRC SOPis a Contributor to Smogonis an Administratoris a Tournament Director Alumnusis a Researcher Alumnus
    Owner

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2004
    Messages:
    9,486
    I would say congratulations, Dweedle, but when adding you to the Hall of Fame I noticed a statistical error in your post count.

    http://www.smogon.com/community/showpost.php?p=108446&postcount=15 In this post from October, 2005 you post about "hearing" when quoting a user. In actuality, you read things off the internet, not hear them. Due to the obvious falsities I'm gonna have to actually discount that as a post. Sure, it's a statement; but a completely incorrect statement. I won't allow such nonsense on my forums.

    http://www.smogon.com/community/showpost.php?p=90136&postcount=48 I can't count this post from September 12th, 2005 either. If you look at the thread post date, it is September 11th, 2005. You obviously did not acknowledge the fact that the thread was posted on 9/11 which makes you a communist bastard. Please. I'm an American, and I'm proud of my country.

    [​IMG]

    I can't let you ruin the reputation of my forums by practically ripping the flag to shreds and spitting on its remains with your awful, thoughtless post. Also discounted.

    http://www.smogon.com/community/showthread.php?t=38 In this thread from December 20th, 2004, you made me cringe. Look at the 3rd post. Do you really think I can count that? Sorry to break it to you, but this sure as hell isn't DWEEDLE CITY. You weren't Mr. 3000 in 2004, stop acting like such a big shot. This isn't your goddamn city.

    Because of all of this, I'm going to have to change your post count. I guess you can be Mr. 2997 :/

    - Commissioner chaos
  12. The.Lost.Hylian

    The.Lost.Hylian I'll have what you're drinking
    is a Researcher Alumnus

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    5,795
    God bless America
  13. Shiv

    Shiv mostly harmless
    is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnusis a Past WCoP Winner

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Messages:
    5,870
    Hahaha chaos, waiting for Dweedle to make 3 more posts and be Mr. 3000 once again!
  14. BleakFuture

    BleakFuture

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2004
    Messages:
    828
    Poor Dweedle getting his dreams taken away from him
  15. Arkeis

    Arkeis (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ (formerly aragornbird)
    is an Artistis a Forum Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Messages:
    3,749
    That was crafty, chaos, very crafty
  16. Dweedle

    Dweedle
    is a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2004
    Messages:
    3,460
    Dweedle, still celebrating from post 3,000, got the news in a drunken stupor.

    "WHAT!? Those postss were posts i psoetd hwo could they not count?? chaos tresats objects liek women , man..."

    And so, Dweedle made his way back to the forums, knocking over everyone in his way (mostly because he was drunk).

    When he got to the forums, manager Brain came up to him and said, "Vous êtes ivres. Je veux vous violer." Dweedle, knowing he couldn't understand Canadian even when he wasn't sober, pretended he knew what Brain was saying and gave him the ole baseball ass pat.

    Dweedle stood at the solitary microphone in the middle of the forums, and everyone gradually grew quiet.

    It was Steelicks who broke the silence with a massive fart that smelled like rotten eggs and four month old milk. Dweedle, however, did not notice, and began his speech.

    “Users, for the past two hours you have been reading about the bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. I have been in forums for seven years and have never received anything but kindness and encouragement (and sometimes flames) from you users.

    “Look at Commissioner chaos. Which of you wouldn’t consider it the highlight of his Internet just to associate with him for even a day? Sure, I’m lucky. Who wouldn’t consider it an honor to have known Steelicks?”

    Then, a familiar voice piped up from the crowd. It was cloud.

    “Me! That asshole just did the raunchiest fart I have ever smelled!” The rest of the forum agreed with this sentiment.

    “Oh,” Dweedle replied. “Steelicks you’re nasty.” Steelicks grinned crassly.

    Dweedle continued his speech. “When the Smogon Forums, a forum you would give your right arm to post on, sends you an e-mail – that’s something. When everybody down to the lurkers and trolls remember you with badges – that’s something. When you have wonderful friends that take sides with you in flames against other friends – that’s the finest I know.

    “So I close in that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to post for.”

    And with that, Dweedle rode off into the sunset on his trusty horse, which was actually Brain, but he was too drunk to realize it.
  17. TheMusicMan

    TheMusicMan

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2005
    Messages:
    876
    /me sheds a tear

    Oh, and btw, Dweedle, your posts just arent the same without that black dude in your avatar.
  18. ThundaBolt

    ThundaBolt

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    1,187
    bootsy was hardcore
  19. Shiv

    Shiv mostly harmless
    is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnusis a Past WCoP Winner

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Messages:
    5,870
    Dweedle get 2 more posts and become Mr. 3000 again, lol
  20. Lexay

    Lexay <b>I could be boned!</b>
    is a Tournament Director Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2005
    Messages:
    1,837
    hello dweedle
  21. Vineon

    Vineon Fleurdelysé
    is a Battle Server Admin Alumnusis a Smogon IRC SOp Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis an Administrator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    3,690
    I petition so you have a second chance on the plate.
  22. tayottt

    tayottt

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2005
    Messages:
    248
    congratulations screw lexay ur my new god! well time to go read the dweedle bible. (chapter 1:thou shalt not look i mine buttocks) wtf
  23. Dweedle

    Dweedle
    is a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2004
    Messages:
    3,460
    if you ever ruin my thread again i swear to god i will cut you
  24. cholena

    cholena
    is a Site Staff Alumnusis a Battle Server Admin Alumnusis a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnuswon the 1st Official Smogon Tournament

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    625
    just to let you know, i've woken up from my faintedness...not that any of you cared to ask =p. also hi dweedle =)
  25. cloud

    cloud groove, slam, work it back, filter that baby, bump
    is a Battle Server Admin Alumnusis a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Messages:
    2,517
    dweedle lays down the fucking law in this topic.

    edit: this is the only topic i've posted in within the last few days that DIDN'T need saving.

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)