Mr. 3,000 - A Tale of Two Buttocks The forum is roaring as Dweedle comes up to bat. His shapely buttocks flap in the wind, causing every woman in the forum to faint. The forum's noise is still great because only two of the registered members on Smogon were women at birth (and still are). The team Smogon manager, Brain, yells from the dugout, "Entrez vos fesses bien faites dans mon recouvrement!" Dweedle doesn't understand Canadian, but spits on the plate and winks as if to acknowledge whatever manager Brain's wacky command was. Dweedle finally turns his head to face the pitcher. His old nemesis. GGFan of the Lionhearts. From behind, Dweedle hears a shout from the crowd, "BRB PASTA!" Dweedle isn't sure what this means, but interprets it as encouragement. GGFan shakes off sign after sign. What pitch could he want to throw? Dweedle knew that GGFan sensed something different about him. There was a fire in his eye. A fire. Not a flame, which GGFan often saw in Dweedle's eyes before, when he was about to smack a double down the left-field line. Or lay down the perfect bunt and make a single out of it. GGFan always caught a flame in Dweedle's eye, just for a split second, right before he made a clutch hit. This time, it was a full fledged fire, feeding off GGFan's anxiety like it was oxygen. GGFan knew the reason. This is what Dweedle had been dreaming of ever since he first posted on the Smogon Forums. He had finally made it to 2,999 posts, and was about to make his historic 3,000th. Only two other people in the history of the Smogon Forums have reached the elusive 3,000 plateau, one of them being the Commissioner himself, chaos. Dweedle was driven by the thought of being in such company. Finally, GGFan nods and accepts the catcher’s sign, although seemingly reluctantly. Fastball inside was Dweedle’s initial thought, and thus he was surprised when the curveball came. But this curveball hung and hung for Dweedle, much like his penis can. It seemed as though it was only going 5 miles an hour. Dweedle started his backswing and his mystical buttocks tensed to give him more torque. When Dweedle swung through the ball, it made a loud pop, at which everyone in the forum gasped, and then remained silent for the remainder of the ball’s angelic flight into the center field stands. Dweedle did it! His 3,000th post! Unbelievable! Dweedle is the new Mr. 3,000!