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My Job

Discussion in 'Smogon's Greatest Hits' started by monkfish, Aug 4, 2009.

  1. monkfish

    monkfish what are birds?
    is a Forum Moderator Alumnus

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    My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the guys I work with:

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her gash. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

    Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
  2. Slice

    Slice

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    what's your job?
    Driving a groovy machine.

    lol. Nice.
  3. cookie

    cookie Administrator
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    lol
  4. Stellar

    Stellar true and everlasting
    is a Super Moderatoris a Community Contributoris a Site Staff Alumnusis a Battle Server Admin Alumnusis a CAP Contributor Alumnusis a Researcher Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a SPL Winner
    Orange Islands

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    haha I didn't make the connection until the last line

    great post
  5. Wishy

    Wishy

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    oof

    that was pretty funny though, I didn't catch on until the third paragraph
  6. Slice

    Slice

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    Me neither.
    Got it now. Don't know how I missed it at first.

    This is gold here.
  7. moot

    moot

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    i saw the connection but good lord i lost it right here

    excellent work mr. fish
  8. Fishin

    Fishin
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    I think it was the >:( smiley that made me take this thread much more seriously than I should've, which made it all the better when I actually got the joke.
  9. Polis4rule

    Polis4rule

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    Do you help to bring down criminals that are older than you?
  10. Annhialator Zero

    Annhialator Zero

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    You got me, I honestly thought you were referring to your real job until the last line.
  11. Aldaron

    Aldaron All da lil birdies chirpin
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  12. Sixonesix

    Sixonesix
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    Haha I'm dying over here. Good stuff.
  13. cyberzero

    cyberzero
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    lmao stoner
    did you mention you dont get paid for your job
    and that the stoner is constantly fucking you up
    also why havent you fucked the supermodel yet
    she owes you for solving mysteries and saving her from monsters etc
  14. Slice

    Slice

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    Shaggy does look high all the time.
  15. 1059860

    1059860

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    And we just found out that Monkfish's name is Fred
  16. NikLink

    NikLink

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    guys

    i found a photo of monkfish

    [​IMG]
  17. Sir_Lu

    Sir_Lu

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    lol this is amazing.
  18. Alex Practice

    Alex Practice

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    Lolol can't stop laughing.
    I hate my little brother so much but we just totally bonded over this :P
  19. Umbreon Dan

    Umbreon Dan 〉λ=
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    jinkeys that was great

    edit: [​IMG]
  20. Malkyrian

    Malkyrian

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    Wow, that sounds like a horrible job. You must hate your coworkers so much.

    Well, look on the bright side. At least they don't wear incredibly stupid-looking scarves or anything.
  21. Pink

    Pink

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    I was like, "Holy fuck can I identify with you. I've worked with dickhole, cum dumpsters like that before. m0nkfish, I know where you're coming from."

    Then you got me. Meddling kid!
  22. billymills

    billymills
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    Completely agreeing with this post. Nice work m0nkfish.
  23. RobertM

    RobertM

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    Yea great post. Nice job 4chan.
  24. Articuno64

    Articuno64 1 to 63 were taken
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    lol well done, had me until the end
  25. SuperSimon

    SuperSimon

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    haha thats great. You had me up untill the last line. And you would have gotton away with it too if it werent for those meddling kids.

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