When the IRL stuff is away, the Platinum ROM will play. This is...
DetroitLolcat's Leafgreen Nuzlocke Challenge!
Part 5: Skirmish at Valley Windworks!
Lolcat reexamines his team after watching them ride to victory over Roark.
"Team, that was a good battle. No misses, you tanked the attacks well, I didn't even have to send in PengWIN either. Quacka and Stoner, you battled well, and we deserve that badge for how we did. However, there was no way to lose that battle. Every one of you had a way to slam all of Roark's Pokemon, and had the defenses to take hits. That's not how most badges work. I fear for the next Gym battle, as the next one isn't a Rock-type Trainer. Currently, we have terrible type coverage, but that's nobody's fault besides the Hax God's. Even with Bibarels, there's nothing we have to slay Grass types. Hopefully that will change. Either way, good job team, let's take a well deserved rest in the Pokemon Center."
After the pep talk, Lolcat asks Nurse Joy to heal the injured Pokemon, which she did. Lolcat runs out of the Center and into Oreburgh City, realizing that he had never really explored the city outside of the Gym, circle, and Mine. Lolcat enters the eastern of the city, but the only point of interest was the Museum, which only featured a man nearing completion of the Fossil Extractor 3, now able to reanimate pokemon from seven different fossils. The FE2 only could reanimate five, released four years ago. Surprising that a mining museum would have the intelligence to upgrade such a complex technology, but Lolcat still leaves towards Oreburgh Gate. However, this time somewhat predictably, Fool comes thudding into Lolcat with painfully obvious information.
"Yo LC! You got Roark's badge? Niiiiice, though still too slow! Well, just wanted to tell you that we're heading to Eterna City next, as they hand out badges! It's just a short walk away on Route 207, but they don't let you in without a Bicycle! I was training when I was on 207, so it wasn't a waste, but I wish I could have gotten to Eterna! Only way there is though Jubilife, so I'm going there, then Eterna Gym! See ya!"
Lolcat follows suit, dashing into Oreburgh Gate, this time in order to leave Oreburgh. After smiting a wild Zubat, Lolcat enters Route 203 en route to Jubilife City. Stoner crushes a Shinx leveling him up, and then Lolcat uneventfully reenters Jubilife City. However, the minute after reentry contains a talk with the enigmatic Looker.
"Ah, Lolcat. You have a Pal Pad, correct? No? Why, then, a Pal Pad is a wonderful, costless device being distributed in the cellars of Pokemon Centers! Beside the point. I was investigating this city, and my eyes detect the absence of lawlessness in this burg! Consequently, this ongoing investigation of mine is to be continued...
IN!
ANOTHER!
CITY!
...Sorry about the volume. But again, you are recommended to keep an ever-vigilant eye out for violators of the law!"
Looker escapes without giving Lolcat a word. Lolcat thinks, "That guy is on something." However, Lolcat heeds Looker's advice and enters a Pokemon Center, stepping on the now unblocked escalator and receiving a Pal Pad. The receptionist blabbed on about Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection, and Lolcat zoned out, as ROMs are not built with Wi-Fi in mind. Lolcat then exits the Center and turns onto Main Street, rushing down the street until he exits the city to the north. However, before Lolcat could set foot on Route 204, Lolcat meets a familiar party of two and an unfamiliar party of two. The familiar pair? Rowan and Dawn. The unfamiliar pair? Time to find out. The mysterious man speaks to Rowan:
"Now, Rowan. You must comply. It's time for you to hand over your research. It's essential, and we'll take it for free. Failure to do so may result in your assistant's...heh heh heh."
Lolcat rushes onto the scene, seeing the old professor being threatened. Cool as ever, Rowan responds,
"Ah, Lolcat. How is your Pokedex coming along? It seems you've caught a few, though it's time to step your catching up a notch. Don't be afraid to throw more Poke Balls, you'll be surprised at how many pokemon you'll catch. Now, I also see Oreburgh's badge. That means the pokemon you're catching mean somethign to you, that you raise them and showed that to the strongest Trainer in Oreburgh. It has only been a couple weeks since you received Piplup, too. You have a future in training, trust me. Now, about Fool..."
"DAMMIT!", replies the mystery man, "You will stop this difficulty, NOW! We are visiting Jubilife on business, and we have this audience with you for a reason! We demand that you give us what we demand! Your research, now."
Rowan responds, "Oh, will you quiet down? This is no way to treat a business partner. You must learn: Stop loitering. Stop interrupting me, I'm trying to talk to Lolcat. Quite down, you do not intimidate me. There are two of you, that does not mean you intimidate me any more. Wear proper clothing, too. You seem to be in cult robes. You call yourselves adults? Lolcat, Dawn, don't look up to them."
The mystery man increases his ardor, speaking: "You made this personal. This is unfortunate for you. The force we are about to show will be a show of force! You do not insult Team Galactic!"
Rowan speaks to Lolcat and Dawn, "Why don't you two defeat them, children? They need civility, and you have it. Go."
Lolcat and Dawn face a Stunky and Glameow with their two starter pokemon. Glameow fires off a critical Fake Out and Stunky Screeches, both hitting Chimchar. Glameow finishes off Chimchar, leaving Piplup to fight the two Galactic Pokemon. Stunky Screeches, Glameow and Piplup Growl. Lolcat switches to Stoner, and he critical hits Glameow for the kill. Stoner ends up in a heated one-on-one battle with Stunky, with Rock Throw saving the day, though Stoner ends up poisoned. The two enigmas claim to be benevolent, then walk off. Stoner grapples with poisoning, however. Rowan sheds some light on the situation:
"When Pokemon evolve, they emit an energy in the process that would seem to violate the Law of Conservation of Energy, in that it creates more energy then it releases. As the world's leader in Pokemon Evolution, only rivaled by the Professor Elm in Johto, I'm studying this recently discovered phenomenon. My findings have shown that this energy is far, far beyond human comprehension. Team Galactic wants my findings in order to harness this energy. They want to use the energy on some project...But I digress, there's nothing else I know yet. Lolcat, I commend you on your skill. You were smart to train more than one Pokemon, as you would have lost if only Piplup was able to battle. You should continue collecting Pokemon, badges, and then...Challenge the Pokemon League. But also, the Pokedex will fill. You will be immortalized in the Hall of Fame, I will have the entire region of Sinnoh documented and ready for mass commercialization. I will be rich, the world will be more educated, and you will become a Champion. It is ultimately your choice, though. Farewell."
Lolcat ponders the information, then remembers he was already en route to Eterna, home of the Second Badge. Lolcat might take Rowan up on that offer. Before he can move, Lolcat is approached by a member of Jubilife TV. The cameraman gives Lolcat a Fashion Case, another useless case that holds Accessories which go for a Contest or some other thing that pertains to the Contests that were ruined by Gen 4. Lolcat continues running toward Ravaged Path until he remembered something...
STONER WAS STILL POISONED
Lolcat runs toward the Pokemon Center, chastising himself for endangering Stoner's life, knowing that he could die here. The poison counter drops further, further, further, Stoner's eyes start to close, knowing that he might not survive. Lolcat enters the Pokemon Center, and Geodude...
survived. With a ton of HP left. Haha, fake suspense! Lolcat heals the team and returns to Route 204. One Trainer falls to PengWIN, then another. PengWIN picks up Peck, I guess it's a last ditch against Gardenia. Lolcat continues across the grass into Ravaged Path. And there's one thing in Ravaged Path that's important, a new member. The odds, please...
65%, Zubat, good
35%, Psyduck, bad. And it is...
Zubat. Finally, something good. Scratch and a Poke Ball snag it. Of course, it has to be named. It will be called Bat. How creative. However, this Bat needed a lot of grinding. Ugh, grinding. Bat ended up soloing a Level 7 Budew, which kicked off the grindfest. However, it took forever. Level 4 -> Level 13 takes a long time, especially with its best move being a 30 power nonSTAB move. At least it gets better. However, when grinding something useless, there's a lot of bait and switch, and when you bait and switch, other Pokemon get experience, and when pokemon get experience, Professor Rowan can tell you, they evolve. Piplup...
PRINPLUP!
Back to grinding. Level 13 couldn't come quick enough. Lolcat heads back to Ravaged Path, this time after about a continuous hour of grinding. A level 16 and three 13s take on Ravaged Path, which lasts about 30 seconds. A Trainer (or four) on the north side of 204 challenges Lolcat, and then he walks the grassy, moonlit path to an intermediate town between Jubilife and Eterna: Floaroma Town.
Lolcat dashes through Floaroma's gate, which is thankfully unlike Oreburgh's gate as there's no cave to traverse. Lolcat enters the obligatory Pokemon Center because he has to heal his weary team, then explores the vicinity. Since the town is Gymless and there's no commotion in the area, Lolcat decides to head out of Floaroma's eastern gate and into Route 205, where a little girl stops him. She speaks:
"Please, Trainer! I want to see my papa and we live at the Valley Windworks but then a bunch of spacemen came and kicked me out! And my papa's in there. I'm ascared what's going to happen to him, those people were a bunch of meanies!"
Unable to refuse the girl's offer (for both moral and "the game won't let you pass" reasons), Lolcat trudges over to the Valley Windworks building, seeing a lone Galactic Grunt guarding the edifice. Obviously, issues like this are settled with Pokemon, so the two trainers spar for the right to pass.
A Glameow and Geodude face off, the Geodude attacking and the Glameow hypnotizing the rock beast. The kitten fires off a couple Growls, then Stoner wakes up, smashes rocks, and levels up. GG, GG (good game, galactic grunt!). The grunt accepts defeat, but then locks himself in the Windworks, claiming that the only key is in the flower patch, obviously in Floaroma Town.
Route 205 leads back to the flower-filled town, and Lolcat runs through the flowers to the incredibly manly flower patch in the back of the city. Once Lolcat reaches his destination, he sees the predictable pair of Galactic Grunts attacking a lone gentleman for his Honey. It seems this team cannot be taken seriously, as they are seemingly launching a full-scale invasion on a city just to steal cheap honey. Like the stooges that they are, the two grunts reveal that the honey is for attracting Pokemon. Using honey to attract pokemon is what a third grader would do for a school project, not what a criminal organization would do to carry out a world domination plan. The two grunts fall to Stoner's onslaught, neither of them landing a single damaging hit on Stoner. The last pokemon falls to Bat as he could use some experience. The two stooges drop the one key that they were probably supposed to guard with their lives, and Lolcat laughs and picks it up.
Heading to the Valley Windworks for the second time after healing his team, Lolcat knows that this upcoming battle will be one of the toughest in the Challenge. Mars's Purugly, sporting competitively high Speed (base 112!) and moderate Attack (in the eighties) with adequate defenses to boot. Can you say: Stoner Rape? I see Rock Polish + Prayer working, but if the Zubat uses...just in case, Lolcat gives Stoner a Pecha Berry in case of Toxic. Hopefully, that Toxic attack replaces Supersonic, as Stoner CANNOT waste time hurting itself. This battle's going to be difficult, and Lolcat preps the team for the boss:
"Okay, team. This is one of, no, THE toughest battle yet coming. I want to give every Pokemon on the team equal opportunity, but I cannot do that here as it's too risky. She has a Zubat and a Purugly. The Zubat isn't bad, but Stoner needs it as setup bait. Two Rock Polishes minimum. Trust me, it's that tough. Hopefully the Zubat will waste time, but if it doesn't, Stoner has to off it. Fast. You'll hold a Pecha Berry. If I tell you to eat the berry, do so. Toxic poison is life-threatening. Magnitude's your attack, Stoner. Rock Smash is super effective, but Mag still hits harder on average. There might have to be a sacrifice made if something goes awry. I do NOT want that to happen, but you love each other, so you'll have to die for each other. I'm sorry, but there's no other way besides grinding. And that's no fun. Just pray Stoner's Defense can take it. Good luck, team, let's save Floaroma!"
Mars has the first word.
"I am one of Team Galactic's Three Commanders...err...Four Commanders, technically. My name is Mars. The mission of Team Galactic is to create a superior world, one infinitely better than this one. However, people show little understanding and much animosity towards our goal. I bet you despise us as well, so let's settle this honorably. A battle, I propose. Winner stays, loser leaves."
Mars's Zubat stares down Stoner. Equivalent levels. The bat bites for a flinch, then again, but Stoner polishes for the fight ahead. One thrown rock slays the bat. Purugly time. Purugly Fakes Out for an obvious Flinch, and then Faintly Attacks. Stoner hits for a Magnitude 7, or a 70 power attack, then a 6. The 6 is sponged by an Oran Berry, unfortunately. Stoner cannot take another hit, so Lolcat retreats to Prinplup. As Prinplup hits Purugly to the red, Purugly scratches back for a critical hit, sending Plup's HP dwindling...
20...19...18...17...16...15...14...13...12...11...10...9...8...7...6...
FIVE
FOUR
THREE
TWO
ONE...
and that's it. Prinplup finds the energy to stay up at one HP, but unable to finish him. Now, Quacka'll have to take two 60 power attacks to win the duel, and he fails, BECAUSE...OF...A...CRIT...AGAIN... This time, a second critical has sealed it for Lolcat unless Bat can take a hit and return for a kill. Either way, Quacka'll have to be sacrificed. Why, O Hax God? Why do you need my duck? Good job Quacka, you will not be forgotten.
Actually, this challenge will, as there was more hax costing Lolcat the battle. Two crits and a low damage roll (minimum or maybe 86/100). Odds of it happening, one in three thousand eight hundred and forty. 1/3840. .026%, maybe 2/3840, but that's still about accurate. And both crits mattered, or Purry would have died.
BULLSHIT HAX END OF CHALLENGE
Maybe I'll try again later, as this was bullshit.