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Discussion in 'Warstory Archive' started by Vexatious, Dec 15, 2010.
Wow...just wow. This blew me away, with all the details.
Keep it up!
This is probably the best warstory I've ever read. I was listening to music, and it got really intense right when Shanderaa came in. And did anyone else notice the opponent's green/purple color scheme?
The lengthiness put me off at first but it turned out to be a great read. Full marks! Please continue contributing warstories :] and uh I also wanna say that your team is exceptionally DDMence weak once Heatran loses his balloon lol.
i do feel a few of the comments were a bit lengthy for saying not a lot, but overall it was a good match with great insight into thought processes, the best warstory ive read
This one of the best warstories I have ever read. The comments were so in-depth and you explain all your options clearly. It was a good battle as well with good predictions on both sides. The hax was a little unfortunate, but you were able to pull through for a win. Well done and I hope you contribute more warstories in the future.
Well done man. Top class warstory and to put that amount of effort into it (huge comments, percentages etc) just speaks volumes. It was a great read.
Really nice comments, but I wonder why you switched your Heatran out against Gliscor, when you had a Sub up + Balloon, so Gliscor couldnt even break the Sub. Or do you lose the Balloon even if your Sub stays intact?
And another thing is when you had your Breloom out against Gliscor after using Bullet Seed, you could have used Mach Punch instead of another Bullet Seed. A resisted Mach Punch does 80% of one Seed hit, so it should have been more than enough to deal the last 13% If he had protected, you could just have used Bullet Seed the second round, so you would have been in the same situation.
I appreciate the time and thought you put into this. You detailed at length your thought process, and the percentages and pictures throughout made for a clean presentation.
However, I felt you elaborated too much. I was already turned off when when I saw multiple paragraphs to read before turn one. If you feel you have to do a tl;dr explanation, then it probably is too long to read.
As the battle continued, you broke down even trivial decisions which, for any experienced battler, had obvious conclusions. It's offputting to slog through an entire paragraph when the reader already knows what's coming up next. The unnecessary block of text for obvious turns constantly disrupted the flow of the battle.
A few misplays turned me off as well. Turn 19, as you've already stated, should've been an Earth Power, saving your Nidoking the Shadow Ball from Shanderaa, and also, as you pointed out, all of Nidoking's last Ice Beams should've been Flamethrowers.
The worst misplay was by your opponent, who threw away the battle when it should've ended based on a speed tie if he had thought through his endgame. He sac'ed his Ditto against your Genosekuto, when he should've just sac'ed any of his other three pokemon. He could then send his Ditto back out, transform into Genosekuto, and mash Flamethrower, forcing you to sac your Nidoking. In the end, the winner would've been decided on a coinflip as you sent back in your Genosekuto for a possible sweep with Flamethrower.
Also, this is just a personal preference, but I would've set up SR while Heatran was behind a Sub against Ttar.
All in all, with the misplays and unneeded length, I didn't like this warstory as much as other posters seemed to. However, your effort is noted, and anyone who uses Nidoking is awesome. Just learn to cut out unnecessary words, sentences, and even paragraphs, which will improve all of your writing in general.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
i don't really understand two things from this battle:in turn 11 when you were behind a sub why didn't you use stealth rock and then switch?does the balloon pop even if you are behind a sub? and in turn 17 why didn't you switch since you had seen he was using an attacking gliscor so it would probably outspeed you?anyway that was an enjoyable battle and i really liked reading it...8.5/10
heh. Are you guys never pleased? On so many warstories, the main complaint that I can see is that the writer doesn't explain his thought processes thoroughly or sometimes, not at all. Here we have a guy who not only gives us a small essay behind every move he is thinking of making, but also throws in predictions, alternate moves and maths. Too much for you?
Okay your commentary is simply stellar. I don't think I could ask for anything more from it. Looking down your warstory it seems like you say more at the start and less at the end, but it honestly is no issue at all.
Probably my biggest qualm is the endgame being not as dramatic as I expected due to the misplay on your opponent's part with Ditto. You played the Shandy revelation very well however, and I'm glad you explained why the hax in your battle, annoying as it was, didn't matter so much. Also although the battle wasn't the most epic I've ever seen, your writing made it seem like it was.
But yeah aside from the minor misplays it was an almost perfect warstory and I look forward to more from you! Don't really have a request - just keep playing with unusual non-gimmicky stuff (like Nido, who is very useful yet somewhat rare) that you like and you'll surely get some more good material.
Bolded for emphasis. Writing an essay for every decision, even simple ones, is overdoing it. Just looking at the first turn, it didn't require that lengthy prologue.
The numerous, long expositions kill the pacing of the warstory. Length != substance. Long paragraphs of unnecessary details is not depth.
Many other warstories reveal the details of the battler's thought process, yet keep the explanations succinct and to the point. Note Chou Toshio's warstory vs panamaxis. Their commentary shows depth but explains only what's relevant.
I did generally like the warstory. It wasn't sloppily written, and the battle was decent. However, it's not a perfect or amazing warstory. If, as an aspiring writer, Vexatious wants honest feedback to improve his writing or his battle selection for warstories, then that's what I'm giving. The battle had bad plays, including a glaring misplay(not misprediction) with Ditto at the end, and the writing lacks brevity, which is an essential concept for any good writer.
Wow nice commentary and cool Match there were some flaws and mispredicts on your side , Rankurusu was most likely physical defensive EVed as this is the standart spread and SD Gliscor is very likely to be 252 Spe Evs + Jolly and is often carrying Acrobat/Aerial Ace. However these are minor flaws compared to the amount of work you put into this warstory and especially your great commentary.
This is probably the best warstory I ever read. Seriously. Everybody else pretty much explained why - I'm impressed someone can write such huge stories about a Pokemon battle without it getting boring. And it wasn't just long and interesting, it shows in-depth thought behind every single move. It actually makes me want to play these games (and of course the battle sim) just a little bit more. Just.. wow.
Incredible commentary. Screw the "no spamming warstories" rule, I'd take another one from you tomorrow if it had this level of detail. 10/10, easily. I haven't seen a better DW warstory and it's been a long time since I've read one this good for any metagame.
Great warstory... Except for one thing.
Tier: Dream World
Very nice job, man.
You lose the Balloon whenever you're hit by a direct attack, so yes.
He's using Choice Band Techniloom (my favorite set! If only it hadn't been for those Shanderas...).
Are you serious. (Please, stop complaining about people playing DW. It's dumb)
Now, as for the warstory itself: as almost everyone here has said, it's excellent! You've put a lot of time and effort into this, and it shows. I do have to agree with THB on one point, though - some of the comments are a bit too lengthy, despite not actually saying much. I tend to have the same problem when writing things myself, so it's understandable. Work on writing shorter, more concise comments. Other than that, it's a very impressive warstory, and you picked a good battle to write about, too. The mindgames were especially fun to read about.
Good luck with your next warstory!
This takes the cake for best warstory yet , Gen 5. Your detailed thought processes, simply put, was fantastic. Excellent formatting, a great battle as well; contributing to making this a highly enjoyable read.
10/10. This definitely deserves to go into the Archives, once it is funstional for 5th generation battles.
This is the best Gen 5 warstory I've read hands down, and this is coming from someone who wrote one (with PK Gaming) that was very well received - so you know I definitely mean what I say. This needs to be archived so people can learn how to outline their thought processes as in depth as you did.
I would have liked it in standard, but to be honest, I really don't care. It was amazing. Play whatever tier you want, I'll read it. I personally don't mind small essays on moves, as long as the thoughts are coherent. Nothing was tl;dr for me, I enjoyed reading all of it. Your previous post showed me your stories will not turn boring, and I look forward to future warstories. With more posters like you, maybe we can take back what warstories are suppose to be!
I go to bed and have double the responses I did when I feel asleep holy crap xD
@Immaterial: Right on both counts, thank you for explaining before I had to xD
Balloon was incredibly important to me so I wanted to keep it in case of an emergency. As for never using stealth rock, I don't enjoy playing with hazards it's against my play style and I prefer only to use it if I need it to win. Same thing with sweeper sets, if you notice not one of my teammates has a boosting move what-so-ever. Not a huge fan on one man parties taking down all six pokemon. Not as fun that way!
To the comments on Dream World: I wasn't aware it was a problem? To be honest I'm not completely sure on the aspects of what Dream World gives me (since wifi allows Dream World abilities, or at least didn't stop Nidoking) except wifi tells the teams. It's not that I don't like my opponent seeing my team (hell I think he should, then I can base my predictions on his assumptions of my switching) but rather that I can see his. What's fun about pokemon to me is the thinking I have to do and the surprise that can come from every corner. I'm more concerned with having an engaging mystery battle than one that's based on abusing your opponents team.
-For instance, I wanted to warstory a 4-0 on my part due to the predictions I had (such as Ice Beam on Blaziken as he baton passed into a Salamence that had not come out yet because I knew he had one and would expect thunderbolt or earth power) but it was just a rape fest nothing really engaging. Same reason I don't accept challenges even though I can see their team but they can't see mine. I just don't like it x-X
As for saying to much, it really is a habit of mine (just look at this post already.) I tend to ramble on and can do that about just anything. Even that previous sentence can be shortened down to "I like to talk." At the same time I enjoy rambling and extending my words and phrases as best I can. I do thank you for that comment though, as I expressed worry beforehand that I might have said too much about the obvious. My first warstory had not enough, and this perhaps had a little more. I'll make sure to have a healthy balance between the two on the next run.
Now for a little preview, I said I'm taking requests (and I still am if anyone wishes to have an idea taken up), but I've come up with an idea for a new team I want to use. For nostalgia sake, I'm going to work up a competitive Kanto team. You might say "Alright, but you have things like Zapdos, Gyarados, Starmie, Gengar, Jolteon, and a slew of others you'll be fine!" but I won't be using any of those.
I'm going to take the team as I would an in-game team. I'm going to take the pokemon I usually enjoy raising and see what I can't make out of it. I only want to use pokemon I love and I don't want things to be easy. If it was OU in gen4, then it's not making it on to this team. I've done a few experiments last night and have half the team pretty much decided. The other three are getting fired.
Anyway, thanks again for all the great comments! I hope I can bring you guys more like this, if not better. I plan to, possibly not sure yet how I feel about it, making the next warstory more narrative. Not narrative as in I talk more, don't worry! Narrative as I want to tell a physical story that progresses the game rather than the log. The log will still be there mind you, capturing every last detail, but the interactions of the characters, pokemon, and setting is what I hope to really move things along. Now I'm just being silly mixing fiction writing and pokemon, but hey I'm a silly guy :D
A great warstory with very thoughtful commentary. A lot of players sometimes talk about hax, but it's seems rare that someone will notice the RNG. It occurs to me that a few of your decisions were not calculated right there in the match, but were made based on past calculations and experience, which I think is a nice touch (as I started reading I was thinking "I hope that paragraph didn't equate into a 3 minute wait for his opponent" and then I read the analysis at the bottom of the first paragraph and realized you had thought about this long ago :P )
As for new team ideas, how about a sandstorm trickroom team? With a sand power or mold breaker mole? :P
No say more! I want a 20 page thesis on the opening turn! DONT LISTEN TO THEM!