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Rejected TV shows I have pitched

Discussion in 'Congregation of the Masses' started by Fatecrashers, Oct 2, 2012.

  1. Fatecrashers

    Fatecrashers acta est fabula
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    It's fall in America, which means a whole new line-up of TV shows is on offer. As none of you may know, I myself have pitched many ideas to the major networks this past year, but sadly all of them have been rejected so far. I present them to you here.


    Pants on Fire
    Celebrity contestants are divided into two teams of three, and win points by guessing if the story a member of the opposing team is telling is true or false, all the while their lower half has been soaked in gasoline and set alight.


    Sleeper
    Ryan Meadow, a counter-terrorism operative with a severe case of narcolepsy, is the only man who can stop a hidden cell of terrorists that is about to be activated on US soil.


    Asshats
    A reality show that follows the travails of a family of multimillionaires with an unfortunate last name, the Asshats, led by their patriach, Vernon Asshat.


    Fiddle
    Jonathan Fiddle, a brilliant doctor who is also a compulsive masturbator, must find a way to juggle his work life and personal habits.


    Circle Jerks
    A contestant can win big, but only if he can defeat the ten other contestants surrounding him in a series of quickfire quiz questions.


    Pyramid Scheme
    Young college graduate Elizabeth Gale finds herself hired by one of the largest financial firms on Wall Street, little does she know all of her bosses are secretly Egyptian deities.


    Fad Men
    Set during the mid-late 90s, a fledgling design firm strikes it rich by designing websites for people's pets.


    Snark
    An ensemble of disparate characters trade witty barbs at a series of locations.


    Flurry
    Rachael Cameron, who has recently moved to the Yukons, is drawn into the lives of the Wallams, an ancient family of were-sasquatches, people who transform into big hairy ape creatures when they come into contact with a snowstorm.


    Shovel
    Detective Doug Digg's amazing powers of deduction can only be activated when he is hit on the head with a shovel.


    Blitzkrieg Bop
    Set in Great Britain during the Second World War, a dance school full of young hopefuls must find a way to survive war-torn England.


    Homoland
    Father Tom McCormack suspects that parishioner Andrew O'Neil, who has returned home after studying in San Francisco, has been turned gay.
  2. Byrne

    Byrne

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    i laughed

    several times
  3. Vintage Books

    Vintage Books

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    i would watch this
  4. zorbees

    zorbees
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    KRAMER: ...And you're the manager of the circus.

    JERRY: A circus?

    KRAMER: Come on, this is a great idea. Look at the characters. You've
    got all these freaks on the show. A woman with a moustache? I mean, who
    wouldn't tune in to see a women with a moustache? You've for the
    tallest man in the world; a guy who's just a head.

    JERRY: I don't think so.

    KRAMER: Look Jerry, the show isn't about the circus, it's about watching
    freaks.

    JERRY: I don't think the network will go for it.

    KRAMER: Why not?

    JERRY: Look, I'm not pitching a show about freaks.

    KRAMER: Oh come on Jerry, you're wrong. People they want to watch freaks.
    This is a "can't miss."
  5. polelover44

    polelover44

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    If any of these are replacing Jersey Shore, that's fine with me.
  6. Glen

    Glen
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    lol
  7. Jebus McAzn

    Jebus McAzn

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    A Bird in the Hand
    a group of men with clinical giantism wander the streets of london picking up small, attractive females

    Ace in the Hole
    quickdraw gunslinger/magician Kurt Reynolds takes public restroom stalls by storm

    I'm All Ears
    set in a Lost-esque abandoned island, twenty-six individuals are scattered around armed only with a swiss army knife and a basic necklace-making DIY kit

    Chink in My Armor
    this revolutionary sitcom features enormous medieval knight Palantine Hallon and his dwarf sidekick Chang Lingdao as they grapple with both the forces of evil and the difficulty of finding a good wife in feudal europe

    Don't Have A Cow
    twelve farmers living in a circle each own a cow - however, every night, one cow will be surgically implanted with a bomb wide enough to blow up whatever farm said cow is living in at the time

    Takes the Cake
    an ornate wedding cake is placed in the cave of a hibernating bear while seven clueless individuals are given the task to retrieve it. little do they know that their pants are magnetized and the floor is covered in sleigh bells
  8. Oglemi

    Oglemi THE DREAM IS REAL
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    hahahahahaha
  9. moonbound

    moonbound

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    And I complain that there's nothing worth watching...
  10. Thorns

    Thorns

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    Graveyard Shift
    A TV documentary series a la Ice Road Truckers that focuses on a crew of men in their attempts to move local cemeteries away from residential areas while fending off zombies
  11. Lord Jesseus

    Lord Jesseus

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    I want this
    Why isn't this a thing
  12. Stone_Cold

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    Shovel
    Detective Doug Digg's amazing powers of deduction can only be activated when he is hit on the head with a shovel.


    Dunno why, I laughed at this pretty hard.
  13. TEA_DEMON

    TEA_DEMON

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    i would probably watch pyramid scheme.
  14. Hipmonlee

    Hipmonlee Have a rice day
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    I would definitely watch this one.
  15. RODANK

    RODANK im a meat collector
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    Cupcake Kings
    Members of various royal families compete to see who can make the best cupcakes
  16. Audiosurfer

    Audiosurfer have one on me
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    If something like this isn't on TLC or something by the end of the month, I'll be shocked.
  17. Improbability

    Improbability

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    A group of nuns leave The Vatican in search of a different kind of hood life in:


    [​IMG]
  18. askaninjask

    askaninjask [FLAIL ARMS]
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    Eat This!
    A young man with an unfortunate name is attacked by a bunch of middle-aged women trying to lose weight.

    Fate Crashers
    A group of friends decide to embark on a long quest to find and kill Fatecrashers.

    Directionless
    Blindfolded contestants race for the finish line, which may be behind them.

    Fecal Matters
    Dr. Oz explains your pooping problems.
  19. More Cowbell

    More Cowbell

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    There's a lot of potential here, it's a pity all of these got shot down.
  20. Jebus McAzn

    Jebus McAzn

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    man i'm putting these all on a tumblr
  21. Mafeking

    Mafeking channels his inner Wolverine
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    Isn't this what Twilight was about?

    Also I'd definitely watch Blitzkrieg Bop. And probably Pyramid Scheme.
  22. polelover44

    polelover44

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    Wasn't this an SNL sketch recently?
  23. Stagnant

    Stagnant

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    Sam I Am

    Sam D. falls into a coma when he is 12 years old. He wakes up 20-some years later. To find that his father had abandoned him, his mother, and his 7-year-old sister. Unfortunately, two-days later his mother dies in a car accident. Leaving Sam to raise his young sister despite his lack of education and general understanding of the world.
  24. Alice

    Alice The worst taste in music

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    These two have potential.

    Seriously
  25. Jebus McAzn

    Jebus McAzn

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    Hairy Potter

    Can Eric Baptiste, a third-year sculpture major at the New Hampshire Institute of Art, make it big in the real world while also desperately seeking a remedy for his early-onset male-pattern baldness?

    EDIT

    Four Ways to Norway

    Four people in four different corners of the world are all given the task to get to Norway as fast as possible with only their country's national bird for advice.

    Kilos to Pounds

    This British fitness show features the morbidly obese being paid to lose weight.

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