Serious Relationships and Sex Ed Thread

Discussion in 'Congregation of the Masses' started by Gabe, Nov 24, 2012.

  1. WaterBomb

    WaterBomb because exploding camels wasn't enough
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    How about a cunnilinguist?

    Blowjobs can be underwhelming yes, but it depends on the person. Some people just have a hard time getting off on a blowjob, myself included. However, there is something to be said for a really good one. I'm not going to tell you that "you haven't had a good blowjob", but you'd be amazed at the difference technique can make.
  2. DM

    DM Ce soir, on va danser.
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    Yeah, then she's the one that's not being very helpful. It's like a person asking their partner "how can I improve my oral sex" and the response is "oh, you know, just use your mouth."

    And no, VKCA, you're not the only one that's underwhelmed by oral sex. I absolutely adore performing it, but save for a few select occurrences in my long history, I have found it pretty average at best and, unless it's a springboard to intercourse, rather a waste of time if I'm not reciprocating.
  3. Lee

    Lee @ Thick Club
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    yeah, love performing oral sex but can tale it or leave it when it comes to receiving; for me it's been reduced to pretty much just a means of getting it hard prior to sex

    since we're floating around the subject, can we discuss cunnilingus for a bit? really curious to hear about peoples techniques...my gameplan these days consists of a slow build-up (kissing pretty much everywhere but where she wants me to) and then alternating between sucking the clitoris, rapid licking movements, tongue-fucking, little but of hand work (holding her open, pulling her hood back, playful slapping, rubbing etc...no finger penetration really). finding it's important to let her know that i'm enjoying it too as that seems to make all the difference for her...the odd 'mmmm' or bit of eye contact goes a long way i think. my girl really enjoys it, it's always nice to see her shiver and shake and making a boatload of noise despite her best efforts but it sometimes feels like a hell of a battle to get her to orgasm (15 minutes+) by which point my tongue is dead and i'm sweating like crazy.

    discuss cunnilingus ~
  4. DHR-107

    DHR-107 Robot from the Future
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    Corkscrew - Def go easy on her at first, it can be VERY easy to lose control when someone lets you be like that with them. Make sure you have a safeword and stuff so she knows she can stop you if she needs too... Otherwise go crazy and enjoy her wanting to please you. If she is saying something like that she wants some of that manly alpha bravado to come out in the bedroom. Spanking is a nice way to let her know you are in charge if she does something wrong. Just be caring with her afterwards if you overstep the mark. Explore your limits together. I'd probably say talk about it after it happens, properly, and ask her what she did and didn't like and stuff.

    VirtualkaraokeCircusacts - Meah, I can take or leave BJ's tbh... I'm not fussed. I've spoken to some people and they are just like "Bro, you haven't had anyone good yet". Might be true, but I'd rather be pleasing her than the other way around.

    Kinda surprised how many guys here are like that, preferring to deal out oral than receive it. It always got me going when she was on the brink writhing about just using my hands/mouth. I pretty much do what you do Lee... Seems to work and I haven't had any complaints :p Only thing I would do differently is pinch her nipples gently if they are accessible, sometimes that's the kicker.
  5. WaterBomb

    WaterBomb because exploding camels wasn't enough
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    One thing I've noticed that gets her to orgasm quicker is to massage the area just above her clit in a circular motion. Rather than spending too much time on the clit itself, which can cause overstimulation, focus on the areas near it to really get her squirming.

    Also, moreso than the clit, there's a small area just inside her opening that gives a great deal of stimulation and really helps her reach climax. If you start at the clit and go down to the opening, just inside along the top wall is a rough spot. If you can massage this spot with either a finger or your tongue you will not be disappointed in the results.

    Finally, you can tell a great deal about how you're doing by the woman's body movements. While noises can vary and sometimes can be exaggerated or faked, body movements are largely reactionary and more indicative of pleasure. If she's not rotating her hips or pushing against you then you probably aren't reaching potential. Alternate your speed, target area and direction periodically as you're testing the waters, and once you feel that shudder you know you've hit the spot. Once you hit that spot, stay there until she stops squirming (or until orgasm, if you're lucky). If you're good, you can induce orgasm within a few minutes. Once she's had her first orgasm, subsequent climaxes will come easier.

    She's also quite receptive to suggestion immediately after an orgasm, so if you want to put it in her butt that would be your best chance.
  6. Soul Fly

    Soul Fly IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
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    You opportunistic bastard. lol
    I laughed hard irl.
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  7. VKCA

    VKCA (Virtual Circus Kareoky Act)

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    http://www.nationalpost.com/m/wp/ne...rom-hpv-virus-a-looming-health-crisis-doctors
    Fuckin niggers dumb asu tryna stop girls from getting hpv vaccine
    "But if my daughter gets the vaccine she'll think she's protected from [aids/pregnancy/other stds]"
    Well damn retard maybe if you had some cunting sex ed in your shithole of a country IT WOULDN'T BE SUCH A PROBLEM NOW WOULD IT??
    FUCK

    sorfy for cursing so much I'm kinda hammered
  8. Soul Fly

    Soul Fly IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
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    fuck uni.

    This is the third time I've been friendzoned since I started.

    Discuss methods of avoiding this terrible affliction.
  9. Harlot

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    how to avoid the friendzone: realize the friendzone doesn't exist
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  10. elcheeso

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    Don't be a stupid arsehole who only pretends to be interested in women in a platonic way in order to get into her pants later? Or alternatively, if you aren't even bothering to pretend to be friends with these women in the first place, realise that they aren't actually friendzoning you. They're probably trying to say "you're a repulsive shitlord I'd never want to date" in a polite way.

    PS: You're not owed a date and/or sex just because you're nice to someone. You might say you don't think you're owed these things, but complaining about women wanting to be friends with you instead of dates and previous complaints re: expecting sex to result from buying someone dinner and/or gifts says yeah, you absolutely do believe you are.
    PPS: Fuck friendzone discussion.
  11. Soul Fly

    Soul Fly IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
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    ^That's a whole lot of assumption and conjecture. And i certainly don't think I deserve a good bang because I have been nice to a ladyfriend. Way to go asshole.
  12. Houndoomsday

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    yo get off his dick he didnt say anything like "i want to get sex cause im nice!"

    in unrelated news high school dating has its own problems, aka anal parents not letting me date their children. happened twice in six months like what the hell.
  13. Chou Toshio

    Chou Toshio @Fighting Necktie
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    I too, am also very underwhelmed by blow jobs. I've had a lot, but honestly the best it gets is with a long time girlfriend with whom you have open dialogue about what's good. Even then, I've never cum as a result of a blow job.

    Titty fucks are potentially a lot better-- but even then, you can't really get a good one unless the girl has at least a 36DD bust. If you've never had a good titty fuck from a girl with an F+ cup (ENVELOPED, holy shit, I can just see the tip of my dick), you don't know what I am talking about when I say "size matters" here.


    A lot of people say girls like to be eaten out, but from my experience, I could always stimulate girls a lot more with the finger than the tongue-- the finger moves more rapidly. If I want to get a girl off quick (or she wants to get off), just finger to the clit.
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2013
  14. elcheeso

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    They are conjecture, but based on the general use of the word friendzone and, you know, describing women wanting to be friends with you instead of dates as a terrible affliction. I heard Stalin used that shit as a form of torture. Also this charming little quote.

    Seriously though, what were you hoping to get out of this? How to force women to find you dateable? How to make them not want to be friends with you if they don't want to date you? This isn't the complaints thread, and the word friendzone tends to imply that friendship with women is just the most awful thing ever or that you're owed something other than friendship if you want it. TL;DR: Friendzone discussion is shit and if you want advice, ask for something specific and don't use such a stupid ass word that implies some really fucking negative things about how you view relationships (platonic or otherwise) with women.
  15. Soul Fly

    Soul Fly IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
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    I was getting over a bad breakup, and that was a rant. And I meant every word, because the relationship I was in went borderline abusive. The sex but was made a big deal out of because I really thought we were going somewhere, after giving her the benefit of doubt that maybe she is insecure/going through a phase/conflicted etc, and we're just back on track again for a month and suddenly out of the blue one fine day she texts me that she's 'found someone else'. Now I'm not a lecherous dick or anything, but when you're dating someone for 1+ years you have certain expectations. It's only natural you should have them.
    Good job quoting a month(s?) old text.

    If you correlate everyone's online rants with their irl behavior almost everyone will turn out to be horrible.

    The only thing I'm looking for if are there any certain subconscious behavior traits people fall into that make it hard for women to make themselves approachable. I have been having a really hard time since that break-up. I'm not a chick repellent or anything. They are comfortable around me, we hang out and all, and I even call them up/they call me up and chat etc. I just seem to have lost the knack of making a romantic approach, it's not as much as 'they friendzoned me', as much as 'I am getting myself friendzoned.'
  16. elcheeso

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    Obviously it was a rant. But you know, even you can probably see why it comes off as 'I put so much money in but no sex is coming out! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS IM SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING SEX FUCK YOU BITCH YOU CANT LEAVE UNTIL I GET SOME, I PAID FOR IT!!!' No matter how long you were going out for, she doesn't owe you sex. Obviously if you have differing expectations on the issue it's reasonable to break up over them, though. If the relationship was abusive then it's probably a good thing you guys broke up, though I am a little curious why your rant would basically be all about the sex you weren't getting in light of that. Was it only something you realised in retrospect?

    Anyway I can't really help with the romance stuff myself, beyond some generic "be direct" advice. Sounds like you might need some more healing time due to your past relationship before you'll really be ready for a new one, though, if making a romantic approach is hard for you now. /shrug
  17. Myzozoa

    Myzozoa Throw-up on the internet, or get off on TV
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    I don't really understand the friendzone, I imagine that most of the women I know regard me as 'just a friend,' but I'm not upset by this. As for dating at university I advise:

    1. Know that you'll probably have more fun when you aren't preoccupied by your romantic situation. I've gone to many parties that have more or less explicit romantic/sexual themes (ABC parties, "wedding" parties, etc) and I find that there is always someone who can't have fun at these parties unless they're hooking up with someone. They come to the party expecting the entire thing to facilitate them getting laid, and they can't have fun without that. Go to a lot of activities during your first year, but don't have expectations. Expectations are the nemesis of enjoying yourself during new experiences.

    2. Most of the relationships you'll be in during uni are going to be shitty or flawed to the extent that they'll unravel in less than 6 months.

    3. On approaching people: You have to be direct and obvious/clear. People are massive cowards when it comes to putting themselves out there in general, and further they are pretty adept at tricking themselves into believing that another person isn't interested in them. All the time there are people that like each other, but manage to fuck it up with their own respective fears of being rejected. People don't realize that if they didn't have so much dumbness/weirdness/pride/stigma/anxiety about approaching people/being approached it would be so much easier to get laid. At a certain point I just think to myself "look at these dumb bitches, if they didn't hold so much nonsense they could be having sex with each other right now."
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  18. Soul Fly

    Soul Fly IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
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    The money bit wasn't related to the sex bit, you're drawing all the wrong lines here. When you get into a mature relationship, sooner or later you anticipate that. Everyone does. Remember I'm talking about a whole year here. You don't start dating people to play ludo with them. I'll just leave it at that.
  19. WaterBomb

    WaterBomb because exploding camels wasn't enough
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    the friend zone does exist, but that's only the term guys use to describe it because they are being shallow and focusing on sex. The friend zone simply is a girl just wanting to be friends with a guy, but the guy wants more out of it than she does. This is what happens when people are not up front and honest about their intentions, and their attempted sneakiness backfires on them.

    Seriously, if you just tell people what you want from the beginning you'll waste less time. You might get more immediate rejections, but you certainly won't have a problem with being friend zoned. If you get friend zoned, it's your own damn fault for trying to be Mr. Slick.
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  20. Spinda

    Spinda

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    THANK YOU. You seem to be the only guy that realises this.
  21. GatoDelFuego

    GatoDelFuego Guys. The thermal drill. Go get it
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    Situation 1: you approach someone with sex in mind, and get rejected. Relationship ends. No need to get upset.

    Situation 2: you are close friends with someone for a great deal of time, then attempt to take things to the next level, and get rejected. Quit complaining about being friendzoned, you should be greatful that you at least have a friendly relationship with somebody. I've been in this situation, I tried dating a close friend (sort of), it didn't work, and now we're still friends five years later. No complaining.

    Situation 3: you approach a woman with sex in mind, try to date her, she agrees, then constantly puts you off but still expects you to treat her well, then says she doesn't see a romantic relationship "but that doesn't mean you can't stop going out with me and helping me with my problems!". Complaining justified? Yes. It's partially your fault for getting led along by somebody manipulative, though. Wise up to these people and don't get in these situations (I'm pretty sure this happens the least amount compared to the others and is the only time somebody should ever be allowed to bitch about "teh friendzone")
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  22. Kitten Milk

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    Hmm, although I agree with the general sentiment about the friendzone not existing, you do have to remember that there are cases where you start out being friends with someone, and it eventually develops into something more for you, but not for them.

    But when you start talking to someone for like three days and then ask them out and they say they'd rather be friends, it doesn't mean you've been friendzoned, it means you've been politely rejected and you can either just leave because there's no chance of the sexy, or just value people for more than their vagina.

    Source: sexual experience limited to own extremities but is a fucking amazing matchmaker
  23. Spinda

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    Well, from my experience the people bitching about being friendzoned are generally the "you start talking to someone for like three days and then ask them out and they say they'd rather be friends" type. If you start out being friends, and it eventually blossoms into something more for you, you've probably got an amazing friendship going already, one that's unlikely to end just because you asked them out, a friendship like that is arguably better than a sexual relationship anyway, and you have nothing to complain about.
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  24. inanimate blob

    inanimate blob

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    What should I do if my ex (we dated for two years and she dumped me a month ago) tries to becomes friends with me again?
  25. Chinchou

    Chinchou Banned deucer.

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    My boyfriend of one day just kissed me 0_0 what do I do.

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