Rock, Paper, Scissors, INFINITY! - Semi-Finals

Status
Not open for further replies.
Okay let's do this, at last

In the near future a homeless man is brutally murdered and subsequently reborn as a super-human cyborg, he stumbles into battle like a drunken fool, do not underestimate this facade, for under his trash can armor, HOBOCOP is a ruthless vigilante armed with the latest in hobo technology.
vs.
A small, bright orange triangular flag, hanging from a fiberglass pole attached to the rear wheel of a bicycle. Not only is it safe, but it's cool too.

In year 2013, following President Sarah Palin's order to outlaw homelessness, the city of Los Angeles had seceded, taking on the name of HOBOLAND. Following the communist ideals of Marx, Lenin, Trotski, the Carebears and the Smurfs, HOBOLAND required equality for every citizen, which meant for everyone to lower their standards of living to become hobos. Thanks to the Hobo Leader's visionary policies, HOBOLAND was well on its way to become a state of homeless utopia. However, refusing to grant HOBOLAND its legitimate sovereignty, the United States of America waged war. Their tyrannical regime of free market and crusades against enemies of Christianity such as Shazam! Hussein, the Atheist Avenger and Super Saiyan Richard Dawkins had to stop.

Aided by Dr. Light, the government of HOBOLAND created the ultimate war machine. Half-hobo, half-robot, HOBOCOP was born to protect the Sovereign Communist State of HOBOLAND from intruders. His first task was simple. An army of born-again Christians were at the gates, mounted on fearsome bicycles (motorcycles were outlawed previously because of their corrupting influence). Their leader, the very fearsome Chuck Norris, was riding a gold bicycle with a small, bright orange triangular flag, hanging from a fiberglass pole attached to its rear wheel. The brightness of the flag could be adjusted by turning the grips on the handlebar and that was no accident. Indeed, the government had learned previously from a leak at Dr. Light's office* that HOBOCOP could be controlled by certain codes emitted using orange light. As HOBOCOP prepared to use his loose change machine gun, Chuck Norris quickly emitted a morse code. That code instructed HOBOCOP to go back in the city and to activate the self-destruction procedure.

Dr. Light and the benevolent Hobo Leader were unable to stop the catastrophe from happening. Downtown HOBOLAND was utterly destroyed and the USA prevailed. Soon after, another enemy of the state, Optimuslim Prime, was captured and deactivated by traitor METATRON.

Winner: A small, bright orange triangular flag, hanging from a fiberglass pole attached to the rear wheel of a bicycle.

* You'd think the leak was Dr. Wily, but he was busy buiding Robot Tyrant Putinman in Russia at that time - in fact, the source of the leak was Megaman himself, disgruntled and angry that HOBOCOP had replaced him in Dr. Light's heart.

====================================

Michael Jackson (when he was black), Flavor Flav (when he was sane), and David "The Hoff" Hasslehoff (when he was stunningly handsome) collaborating together on a secret Pop CD.
vs.
The Metric System

In the greatest secret, Michael Jackson, Flavor Flav and David Hasslehoff were working on a Pop CD. The lyrics to their first single were as follows:

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
Afraid to step into the light, some people stand in the darkness
That's where I'm sayin, that's right, suck my ten inch penis

For the most part this was highly satisfactory to everyone. However, it occurred to them that the flow of the song would be superior if the word "inch" could be made longer somehow. That is when Michael Jackson suggested this brilliant idea: hey guys let's use the metric system!. Genius! None of them were too familiar with the metric system, but Flavor Flav seemed to remember that the equivalent to the inch was the centimeter. Therefore, they changed the part to "suck my ten centimeter penis" and everybody was happy.

Unfortunately, it so occurred that ten centimeters are only four inches! While most Americans never noticed this, the great majority of the world, who used the metric system, laughed very hard at this blunder. As Flavor Flav goofily answered to the question "Which member of the group has a ten centimeter penis?" with "All of us!", all three singers were thoroughly humiliated. Their musical careers were compromised, despite Michael Jackson's attempt to change his identity to that of a creepy white man, Flavor Flav's plead to insanity and David Hasselhoff's uglification. Eventually, this led to the fourth reich and a new holocaust and all lived on in infamy.

Winner: The Metric System
 
In the near future a homeless man is brutally murdered and subsequently reborn as a super-human cyborg, he stumbles into battle like a drunken fool, do not underestimate this facade, for under his trash can armor, HOBOCOP is a ruthless vigilante armed with the latest in hobo technology.

vs.

A small, bright orange triangular flag, hanging from a fiberglass pole attached to the rear wheel of a bicycle. Not only is it safe, but it's cool too.

thunda voted the flag
Brain voted the flag

Kumar voted Hobocop

THE FLAG AND HIPMONLEE GO THROUGH, ZEROWING IS ELIMINATED


----------------------------


Michael Jackson (when he was black), Flavor Flav (when he was sane), and David "The Hoff" Hasslehoff (when he was stunningly handsome) collaborating together on a secret Pop CD.

vs.

The Metric System

thunda voted the Metric System
Brain voted the Metric System

Kumar voted The secret pop cd

THE FLAG AND CAPTKIRBY GO THROUGH, AAMTO IS ELIMINATED

Due to unforeseen circumstances only three judges were able to vote, and only these three judges will be voting during the finals. Finals topic will be posted e. soon.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 1, Guests: 0)

Top