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RPSI Doubles Roulette R2
- Thread starter RODAN
- Start date
- Status
I never even saw this thread until ew posted...I'll figure something out soon.
Matchup 1:
Constrictingly tight skinny jeans with a small ketchup stain on the left thigh area
+
the world taxi driver convention
(2) VS (1)
A large, saucy black woman, well versed in arguing with salespeople
+
A catapult
---
Matchup 2:
samuel l jackson
+
a pocket dictionary on a frying pan, lightly spiced
(2) VS (1)
SExY mAmI with a pink Batarang
+
a coin glued to the sidewalk
---
Start judging as soon as possible please, judges!
Constrictingly tight skinny jeans with a small ketchup stain on the left thigh area
+
the world taxi driver convention
(2) VS (1)
A large, saucy black woman, well versed in arguing with salespeople
+
A catapult
---
Matchup 2:
samuel l jackson
+
a pocket dictionary on a frying pan, lightly spiced
(2) VS (1)
SExY mAmI with a pink Batarang
+
a coin glued to the sidewalk
---
Start judging as soon as possible please, judges!
Well, i tried
HUDGING.
Constrictingly tight skinny jeans with a small ketchup stain on the left thigh area
+
the world taxi driver convention
vs
A large, saucy black woman, well versed in arguing with salespeople
+
A catapult
"Yeeargh."
"That'll be £30"
"Take a left here?"
This was a nightmare. The world taxi driver convention. A massive room smelling of putrid
hamburgers and cheese and beer and old cars.
"HAY GUYS"
The day was made worse. Bruno appeared. He had retired a few years back to become a taxi driver. And he was here.
"So... I'l have da double cheesburger but light on the cheese. I need to watch my shape."
As he bites into the sandwich... SPLURCH.
The ketchup falls on his jeans. Bruno is outraged.
"WHAT IS THIS STAIN ON MY SUPERTIGHT PANTS."
The predictable thing at this point is that the fat black woman would be catapulted and squash Bruno. But it was stuck in a ditch. And the fat woman was dead. So that fails.
Winner: Supertight pants with ketchup stain + taxi driver convention.
samuel l jackson
+
a pocket dictionary on a frying pan, lightly spiced
SExY mAmI with a pink Batarang
+
a coin glued to the sidewalk
لا أحد يحب Sexi Mamis ، وليس حتى لو كانت لديها batarang الوردي. لذلك ، لتصحيح هذا ، وتقرر أن مامي الغراء عملة معدنية على الرصيف. بالطبع ، كان هذا على أي تطابق عن الشرق الأوسط ، وصمويل جاكسون! ليس لي وجيبي قاموس اللغة العربية. والحقيقة أنني أطلقت النار عليه من بندقية عدة مرات ، وانخفض حتى في مقلاة يظهر لي رهيبة مهارات القراءة باللغة العربية
winner: samuel l jackson + dictionary
Constrictingly tight skinny jeans with a small ketchup stain on the left thigh area
+
the world taxi driver convention
vs
A large, saucy black woman, well versed in arguing with salespeople
+
A catapult
"Yeeargh."
"That'll be £30"
"Take a left here?"
This was a nightmare. The world taxi driver convention. A massive room smelling of putrid
hamburgers and cheese and beer and old cars.
"HAY GUYS"
The day was made worse. Bruno appeared. He had retired a few years back to become a taxi driver. And he was here.
"So... I'l have da double cheesburger but light on the cheese. I need to watch my shape."
As he bites into the sandwich... SPLURCH.
The ketchup falls on his jeans. Bruno is outraged.
"WHAT IS THIS STAIN ON MY SUPERTIGHT PANTS."
The predictable thing at this point is that the fat black woman would be catapulted and squash Bruno. But it was stuck in a ditch. And the fat woman was dead. So that fails.
Winner: Supertight pants with ketchup stain + taxi driver convention.
samuel l jackson
+
a pocket dictionary on a frying pan, lightly spiced
SExY mAmI with a pink Batarang
+
a coin glued to the sidewalk
لا أحد يحب Sexi Mamis ، وليس حتى لو كانت لديها batarang الوردي. لذلك ، لتصحيح هذا ، وتقرر أن مامي الغراء عملة معدنية على الرصيف. بالطبع ، كان هذا على أي تطابق عن الشرق الأوسط ، وصمويل جاكسون! ليس لي وجيبي قاموس اللغة العربية. والحقيقة أنني أطلقت النار عليه من بندقية عدة مرات ، وانخفض حتى في مقلاة يظهر لي رهيبة مهارات القراءة باللغة العربية
winner: samuel l jackson + dictionary
Matchup 1:
Constrictingly tight skinny jeans with a small ketchup stain on the left thigh area
+
the world taxi driver convention
A large, saucy black woman, well versed in arguing with salespeople
+
A catapult
It was the day of the world taxi driver convention. Unsurprisingly, there was a
mile long line of bright yellow cabs lined up outside the hall where it was being held. Their self-proclaimed leader was standing on a podium, terribly drunk, and holding forth to the crowd. "I propose that we instate a uniform. All cab drivers will henceforth wear constrictingly tight skinny jeans while driving cabs to show the world that despite driving cabs all day for a living, w'e're capable of looking pretty damn good while doing this. A fat black woman stood up and told him to shut the hell up. "I don't fit into skinny jeans. You can wear them if you want, I won't". "I AM YOUR LEADER, YOU WILL OBEY ME". "That's what my man used to say before he died". "Oh, I'm sorry for your loss, how did he die?". A huge ball of stone crashes through the roof and slams into the would-be-leader, crushing him. "Like that" said the woman, getting up and walking out
Winner: A large, saucy black woman, well versed in arguing with salespeople
and
A catapult
---
Matchup 2:
samuel l jackson
+
a pocket dictionary on a frying pan, lightly spiced
SExY mAmI with a pink Batarang
+
a coin glued to the sidewalk
Samuel L. Jackson walked down the sidewalk after all the shooting for the day had ended. Looking down, he spied a coin on the sidewalk. He bent to pick it up. It wouldn't come off! He kept trying, but it wouldn't budge. He stood up and looked around, wondering if he could find something to help him? "Qué estás buscando?" said a feminine voice behind him. He turned around and found himself face to face with a sexy mami. He stands up, smiles at her and says "I don't speak Portuguese". The woman's eyes narrow and she pulls a pink batarang out of her pocket and says "Español, conchetumare". "What the hell, why is that boomerang pink? Can I borrow it?". The woman looks at him for a moment and then says "I'm hungry". Samuel L. Jackson whips out a a fried pocket dictionary (lightly spiced) and says "this is the only cooked item i have". The woman picks up the dictionary, smiles at Jackson and then calmly shoves ti down his throat and walks away, leaving him choking.
Winner: SExY mAmI with a pink Batarang
and
a coin glued to the sidewalk
Constrictingly tight skinny jeans with a small ketchup stain on the left thigh area
+
the world taxi driver convention
A large, saucy black woman, well versed in arguing with salespeople
+
A catapult
It was the day of the world taxi driver convention. Unsurprisingly, there was a
mile long line of bright yellow cabs lined up outside the hall where it was being held. Their self-proclaimed leader was standing on a podium, terribly drunk, and holding forth to the crowd. "I propose that we instate a uniform. All cab drivers will henceforth wear constrictingly tight skinny jeans while driving cabs to show the world that despite driving cabs all day for a living, w'e're capable of looking pretty damn good while doing this. A fat black woman stood up and told him to shut the hell up. "I don't fit into skinny jeans. You can wear them if you want, I won't". "I AM YOUR LEADER, YOU WILL OBEY ME". "That's what my man used to say before he died". "Oh, I'm sorry for your loss, how did he die?". A huge ball of stone crashes through the roof and slams into the would-be-leader, crushing him. "Like that" said the woman, getting up and walking out
Winner: A large, saucy black woman, well versed in arguing with salespeople
and
A catapult
---
Matchup 2:
samuel l jackson
+
a pocket dictionary on a frying pan, lightly spiced
SExY mAmI with a pink Batarang
+
a coin glued to the sidewalk
Samuel L. Jackson walked down the sidewalk after all the shooting for the day had ended. Looking down, he spied a coin on the sidewalk. He bent to pick it up. It wouldn't come off! He kept trying, but it wouldn't budge. He stood up and looked around, wondering if he could find something to help him? "Qué estás buscando?" said a feminine voice behind him. He turned around and found himself face to face with a sexy mami. He stands up, smiles at her and says "I don't speak Portuguese". The woman's eyes narrow and she pulls a pink batarang out of her pocket and says "Español, conchetumare". "What the hell, why is that boomerang pink? Can I borrow it?". The woman looks at him for a moment and then says "I'm hungry". Samuel L. Jackson whips out a a fried pocket dictionary (lightly spiced) and says "this is the only cooked item i have". The woman picks up the dictionary, smiles at Jackson and then calmly shoves ti down his throat and walks away, leaving him choking.
Winner: SExY mAmI with a pink Batarang
and
a coin glued to the sidewalk
Bertha the black woman was pretty large, so she donned a pair of constrictingly tight skinny jeans one day in hopes that she would appear thinner. She went to McDonald's, because that's where all the morbidly obese eat, and ordered a bucket of fries with a lot of ketchup. Bertha ate them as she drove, and she suddenly spilled some ketchup on the left thigh area of her of her jeans. She attempted to wipe it off while simultaneously driving; as such, she wasn't paying much attention to the road when she drove into the parking lot of the world taxi driver convention and rear ended the Chancellor of Taxi Driving. A lawsuit inevitably occurred, with the Chancellor suing Bertha, who tried to get off the hook by claiming that her driving was thrown off by the ketchup making her constrictingly tight skinny jeans even more constrictingly tight, and that it was therefore the faults of both McDonald's and the store that sold her the jeans. A representative from said store attempted to protest, but was immediately silenced: Bertha was very adept at arguing with salespeople. McDonald's, however, was a tougher nut to crack, as they were used to dealing with these kinds of things. It looked like Bertha was going to lose, so she decided she had to take a more drastic course of action. Bertha launched a full scale assault on the World Taxi Driver Convention, utilizing her old catapult (named BIG BERTHA). Boulders flew everywhere, killing seven taxi drivers and injuring twenty-five. Unfortunately, Bertha ran out of boulders after the second launch, and was about to be apprehended. She attempted to run away, but unfortunately, her being black wasn't enough to outweigh her being fat, and she was run down by a fleet of taxis.
Winners:
Constrictingly tight skinny jeans with a small ketchup stain on the left thigh area
+
the world taxi driver convention
-------
Samuel L. Jackson was in Albania one day when he saw a SExY mAmI. He consulted his pocket dictionary on a frying pan (lightly spiced) to see what exactly a "SExy mAmI" was; however, he could not find her entry. So, even though she had a pink Batarang, Samuel L. Jackson seduced, shot, and fucked her, not necessarily in that order. He then noticed the coin on the sidewalk and tried to pick it up, but he couldn't. Again consulting his dictionary, he looked up Albania's official currency. "I have had it with these motherfucking Leks on this motherfucking plain!" and he blew up the whole sidewalk and got the coin.
Winners:
samuel l jackson
+
a pocket dictionary on a frying pan, lightly spiced
Winners:
Constrictingly tight skinny jeans with a small ketchup stain on the left thigh area
+
the world taxi driver convention
-------
Samuel L. Jackson was in Albania one day when he saw a SExY mAmI. He consulted his pocket dictionary on a frying pan (lightly spiced) to see what exactly a "SExy mAmI" was; however, he could not find her entry. So, even though she had a pink Batarang, Samuel L. Jackson seduced, shot, and fucked her, not necessarily in that order. He then noticed the coin on the sidewalk and tried to pick it up, but he couldn't. Again consulting his dictionary, he looked up Albania's official currency. "I have had it with these motherfucking Leks on this motherfucking plain!" and he blew up the whole sidewalk and got the coin.
Winners:
samuel l jackson
+
a pocket dictionary on a frying pan, lightly spiced
Is this best 2 out of 3 or best 3 out of 5?
- Status