The members of the Sex Offenders Register were having their annual dinner. Notables such as Ted Bundy and Smogon user jrrrrrrr were invited; however, jrrrrrrr RSVPed that he couldn't come. With one seat left to be filled, Deck Knight was invited in his stead, seeing as he lived in the same area. Deck Knight wasn't actually on the register, but nobody would notice that.
Deck Knight wasn't there just to partake in fine food and/or children, however. He was there to sabotage the banquet because he did not believe in the Sex Offenders Register (or gay marriage, for that matter). "After all," he thought, "you wouldn't give a loan to a non-credit worthy person (unless you're a Democrat working for ACORN), why would you give public recognition to a societal cancer?" He not-so-subtlely removed the water from the kettle, rendering their efforts at making tea or any other similar beverages useless. He also rigged the printer to fail at the most inopportune moments, preventing the Members of the Sex Offenders Register from printing out imperfectluck's invitation. Finally fed up with Deck Knight's antics, the Sex Offenders finally decided to get rid of him. A radio was brought out, and it was tuned to the station of an ear-shattering vuvuzela. Deck Knight was unfazed, unfortunately. Years of listening to AM radio had desensitized him to most static interference and other similar sounds, including this unholy wave of noise. However, Deck Knight, while unaffected, was curious as to what station was playing. He stooped down to check the radio, and as we all know, it's never a good idea to bend over at a Sex Offenders Convention of any sort.
Winners:
the vuvuzela frequency
+
a dinner consisting of the members on the sex offenders register, with one seat to be filled