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ruin your favorite cartoons!!!!!!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Smogon's Greatest Hits' started by ls, Jul 14, 2006.

  1. ls

    ls
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    lets everyone write some slash fanfics involving characters from your favorite cartoons growing up ok! slash is either male/male or female/female

    try not to write sex if you can help it i guess thats really not the point of this thread ok

    crossovers are fine and um so are animals like chip and dale ^_^;; ok start!
  2. Sanders

    Sanders
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    edit: what the fuck
  3. Steelicks

    Steelicks Come here and Battle me!
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    posting to say if you love Captain Planet and have fond memories of that cartoon, you might want to avoid reading my next post ITT
  4. Sanders

    Sanders
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    edit: what the fuck again
  5. Ilpalazzo

    Ilpalazzo

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    The care bears! xD
  6. Sir Chris

    Sir Chris
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    AN: Okay hay guys I am new to this so this is a bit short plz try to realize i am making an effort to stick to realism so no if i write future parts i wontdo anything stupid likemake mufasa return to life or make simba half hyena or something thanks and happy reading!

    Scar calmly walked through the valley, not a worry on his mind as a cruel smile had found its way onto his face. Simba and Mufasa both murdered in an ever so tragic accident. It was enough to make him cry.

    Reaching his destination he looked over the dead body of Mufasa and his face distorted into one of sadness.

    Mufasa, if only you would have left Sarabi for me like I asked, we could have, together, ruled the kingdom. Why oh why couldn’t you just let yourself come into my arms, Mufasa?

    Scar’s look of sadness turned into a grin as his paw began touching a place that no doubt Mufasa would not have approved of.

    “Ah Mufasa, it seems that in death your mighty roar has been silenced! I wouldn’t expect you to moan, but it’d have been a nice treat.” Scar talked although no one listened as his paw continued to move up and down Mufasa’s rigid body. After a few minutes of this Scar felt himself beginning to be aroused.

    “Oh, what do we have here… a little bitty present for our late king. Well, all hail to the king!” With this he thrust in and moaned as Mufasa’s cold body shuddered against the intruder. Scar, not experiencing the sins of the flesh in many years, came quickly and slipped out of Mufasa.

    “It was good for me, hope it was good for you!” With a cruel laugh Scar went on his way, satisfied.

    Hiding behind a bush, Pumbaa quickly finished his masturbation and let out a contented sigh.

    “That was hot.”
  7. Atlas

    Atlas I'm the Mary!
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    awaiting bedroom discussion on whether captain planet and captain pollution should use protection.
  8. chaos

    chaos
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    calling hey arnold harold/mr green, will have it up later tonight
  9. ls

    ls
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    Mr. Bighead (Rocko's Modern Life) / Roger Klotz (Doug) SLASH

    It's hard being the smartest person in a neighborhood. That was the conclusion that Mr. Bighead had reached. He'd climbed his way all the way up to middle management at Conglom-o. He was set for life, the perfect person. But, something was missing...

    Now it was no secret that Mrs. Bighead was no supermodel. Mr. Bighead, though, didn't care - she had a vagina, that was good enough for him. Well, he thought it was. But lately he'd been getting...urges. He was an old toad but that didn't stop him from wanting fresh meat, so to speak. Little did he know how fresh the meat would be.

    Roger Klotz was a kindred spirit. He had the same kind of fire that Mr. Bighead once had burning so fiercely inside himself. Sure, he was sort of a bully. But wasn't that attractive?

    Mr. Bighead suddenly realized where his thoughts were wandering. I'm not gay... he told himself. And yet, he could not stop staring at the boy with the horrible teeth and green skin. Green skin... Mr. Bighead had always thought himself a pariah. An outsider. But this beautiful boy shared his complexion.

    Even if I were a homosexual I'm not a pedophile! Mr. Bighead thought furiously. But he couldn't deny his feelings. Well, he's old enough. Wise beyond his years, sort of. Only problem is how do I seduce him?

    Roger Klotz was the big man on campus. He could have any girl at all, if he wanted. That was too easy. What he wanted was a more mature girl. Stinky getting pregnant had made him realize that HIS biological clock was ticking and if he didn't throw away his virginity at the first moment he could to an older woman he would be wasting his time!

    Such a woman, a vision of loveliness, appeared to what seemed like the trumpeting angels but was in reality a flatulent Heffer who had been lounging about in front of the Bigheads' house, grazing on their grass.

    "You stupid fucking cow!" said Mr. Bighead as he ran out. He stopped the flood of obscenities as soon as he saw the divine object of his affections. But Roger didn't noticed the red-faced toad. His eyes were transfixed on his wife, Mrs. Bighead.

    "What are you staring at?" she said in a voice that would make most people's hair stand on end but to Roger was like the best Linkin' Park song he'd ever heard.

    One word would do. "You."

    Mrs. Bighead was taken aback. She had only ever been a baby factory to men. But this one... seemed to notice her as a woman. She loved him forever after. Mr. Bighead did not take well to this, as anyone can imagine.

    "You fucking goddamn slutwhore of a toad," he shouted so that the whole neighborhood could hear.

    "It's not my fault you don't satisfy me! A gigantic tongue but never any cunnilingus! UNBELIEVABLE!" she retorted as she ran away, into her car, and drove off, tears spilling down her face.

    Now's my chance! thought the lascivious he-toad. He batted his eyelashes at the Klotz boy. Hah! There's the bulge! Mr. Bighead thought when he saw Klotz noticeably aroused. Actually, he said it. Klotz was horrified.

    "I don't want no frog!" Roger said with his typical trailer park eloquence.

    "Toad, dear," Mr. Bighead corrected.

    "...Oh."

    "Let's take this inside."

    :)

    Part 1 of 2
  10. Steelicks

    Steelicks Come here and Battle me!
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    hahahaha i loled :)
  11. Atlas

    Atlas I'm the Mary!
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    first necrophelia, then pedophelia....i dont like where this thread is going.
  12. Ilpalazzo

    Ilpalazzo

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    Requestion Pokemon and Digimon xD
  13. chaos

    chaos
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    tbh, I don't know what was wrong with me when I wrote this. Anyway, this is a largely stream of conciousnessish story. No sex actually happens. Every character in it represents someone from this community. Feel free to guess. I'm not sure you can get it if you don't go to #smogon ;/

    "Mother... I'm sick of these!" Harold threw the dry crackers to the ground, stomping his foot into the pale squares. He ground them into a fine dust, one chunky motion at a time. His mother looked mortified even though this was not the FIRST time Harold challenged his faith. It was becoming an everyday thing; the closer it got to Christmas time, the more Harold denied everything even close to the Torah. He knew inside of him, there wasn't a little Jewish man eating Hebrew National hot dogs. There was a majestic wilderbeast... no, a flower laden horse riding through the field! Oh, how he wished he could set that inner horse free.

    "Listen Harold, no matter how much you hate our crackers... no, not our crackers. YOUR crackers." His mother talked on for ages. He heard noises flow in and out his ears but nothing really registered; it was very comparable to a certain situation everyone is familiar with. You know, like when you are talking about music and someone totally interrupts the current flow of the conversation by talking about anime? That message slowly fades out of what you are paying attention to. Did it really happen at all? Harold begun to swim in his own thoughts. He saw a large penis penetrating in and out of the Torah. He saw penises swarming around him. He saw a penis inside him.. AGH!!! Harold was jolted awake by the thought. Ugh. What could it mean?

    "... I know that was a stern talking to son, but it was necessary. Now I'm sorry; we can't have ham for Christmas dinner. How about turkey? That is a good kosher meal. Yes, could you go down to Mr. Green's and pick up some turkey?"

    What is this... Thanksgiving? He thought of delicious ham. Food has been on his mind for days and days now. The more he thinks about it... the more he feels compelled to explore. Not just explore the food, but to do the unordinary. The paranormal. Something totally crazy but yet daunting! Such as crapping in a trash can. Or perhaps... wait a second, what did those penises mean? He blocked them out of his mind as quickly as possible. Ham.. ham.. ham.. wait! No! Turkey! Jesus christ, NO WAIT HE WAS KILLED BY US! Where is there to turn?

    But of course on the outside he seemed fine. He trotted to the local butchery; a fine established owned by a fat butcher named Mr. Green. Mr. Green was not JUST on the portly side, he also had a huge honking nose and warts around him. Subtle warts, but still. Warts. Gross. This turned Harold off... but why would he be on in the first place? Mr. Green smiled at him from across the counter. A knowing smile. His glare pierced through Harold's heart like Cupid's arrow through a greasy Big Mac.

    "I was just looking for some ham if you have any..." Harold stammered. Mr. Green was no fool, he handed Harold a pound of turkey. This is, of course, standard Jewish food for the holidays. Mr. Green knew how it was.

    "Don't feel bad sonny, here. I have something that will cheer you up." Mr. Green took off his black leather jacket and wrapped it around Harold's shivering body. With every shiver his whole body shook... and each shake triggered another shake. Before you knew it, his whole mass was shaking and his blubber was flying everywhere. Customers stared. Children cried. Harold started to cry too, jutting through the crowd. He tripped, and bounced through the door. It broke off its hinges. SMASH! CRACK! The glass shattered into a million pieces.

    Harold put the turkey in his black leather jacket and ran through the streets. He ignored the shattered glass; some how it represented his refusal of Judaism. This was the end, he thought. Harold wanted food that tasted GOOD. He rubbed his stomach and felt the rhythm it created. He heard a slow rumble... it sort of sounded like "yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It was soft at first, but with each exclamation point it seemed to echo louder and louder in his stomach. He eyed the turkey... but hark! As he focused on the turkey he could see in the background a local negro, a slutty girl and a stuck up girl.

    "HEY FATASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Helga screamed down the street. Harold perked up; it was a name he had grown accustomed to. His eyes drooped towards the ground and his lack of self-confidence set in. He wished to roar at her, or possibly earthquake the ground below her... or maybe even hit her with an iron tail. He then realized he didn't have an iron tail, and focused back on the floor again. Helga stared at his droopy face and taunted his black leather jacket.

    "You must be a real (BAN ME PLEASE) to wear this, fat boy." She slapped him across the face. "You are just a fat pervert like the rest of them. Thankfully, i've found a woman as beautiful as myself. We've become friends." She gleamed at Rhonda, who seemed disgusted with her. Rhonda stroked her throat, as if to mock the adam's apple Helga for some reason had. Nevertheless, Helga continued to berate Harold until he broke down.

    Harold ran as quick as he could back to the butchery. The local negro chased him. Good god that negro was fast! For some reason, Gerald has always hated jews. He was always the tough guy on the block; a real jew hater. His Opeth shirt flailed in the wind as he took a leap towards Harold. He bounced off Harold's fat and onto the pavement. Drats! Gerald's plans were foiled again. It seemed as if the jews always have kept him down.

    Harold jumped through the broken glass of Mr. Green's and broke down in front of him. Mr. Green, seeing Harold in all of his plump glory, quickly took off his cowboy hat and placed it over his crotch. Even though he was from Arizona (a hick state where people let their erections be noticed with no regard to societal norms) he felt necessary to conceal his growth from Harold. He sat down next to Harold and put his arm around him, holding him close. HEh, it seems as if the butcher intended to cheese the pork, if you get what i'm saying. HEh. Mr. Green opened the door in the back and led Harold in through the back. He clutched in his hands two pieces of pocky, curiously molded in the likeness of his penis. Oh my...

    the end, this is nothing like i've ever written before
  14. Altmer

    Altmer rid this world of human waste
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    ls threads rock
  15. ls

    ls
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  16. Steelicks

    Steelicks Come here and Battle me!
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    rofl chaos

    fanfics like yours really should be illegal
  17. Kongler

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    rofl @ ls and chaos.
  18. DM

    DM Ce soir, on va danser.
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    oh jesus, I'm dying over here

    I'm honestly not even going to bother writing one, it will pale in comparison to what's already been written
  19. Ham

    Ham

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    oh they have to be fanfics and not prons?

    but rule 34!

    RULE 34!

    THERE IS PORN OF IT!

    NO EXCEPTIONS!

    wait if I censor it is it ok?
  20. ABC-Trainer

    ABC-Trainer

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    ham this is 'ruin your favorite cartoons' not 'ruin your favorite thread'
  21. ToP

    ToP

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    For all of chaos's story I thought Harold was the black guy :(
  22. meddle

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  23. chaos

    chaos
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    Gerald is the black guy lol
  24. Sanders

    Sanders
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    anyone not from #smogon who can guess what the characters are gets a prize
  25. Black Leather Jacket

    Black Leather Jacket

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    Helga used to give me erections.

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