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Warstory Rusty Veterans Relive the Good Old Days

Discussion in 'Global Battle Union' started by JMC, Jan 7, 2013.

  1. JMC

    JMC Old as dirt.
    is a Contributor Alumnusis a Past SPL Winner

    Joined:
    Dec 24, 2004
    Messages:
    957
    I feel old, having not been here for so long. After quite a few years of not caring about Pokemon, I regressed over winter break and started checking out this stuff again. I filled in fellow old-timer Bulbasaur3000/Lostchromosone45 about my trip down nostalgia lane, and informed him that Porygon's Big Show is still up and running (and still bugged to all hell). After a few laughs, we decided to start up old Pory and have ourselves an old-fashioned Chromatics battle. He wanted to play standard, which led to this:

    [B3K]: XD
    dude i still remember most of my team

    [JMC]: wait, lemme try to remember:
    venusaur
    lapras
    chansey

    [B3K]: dont spoil the starter for me

    [JMC]:tauros
    golem
    alakazam?

    [B3K]:yes >_<
    nice work

    [JMC]: bahahahahaa


    Since I could still remember his team, I filled him in my standard play team, and we began to create our Pokemon. After some difficulty registering (good job forgetting to input the level!!), I was called "yella" and engaged in a battle of the old people:

    Team JMC: Gengar, Exeggutor, Starmie, Alakazam, Snorlax, Tauros
    [​IMG] [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
    Team B3K: Tauros, Venusaur, Alakazam, Lapras, Chansey, Golem
    [​IMG] [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]

    Begin Battle!

    Gengar vs Tauros!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    This showdown between the 318 speed Pokemon was a true sign of B3k veteran status as an RBY player. I recall back in the heyday of RBY battling, starter Tauros was popular as a strong anti-starter for the sleep leads. Hell, even I used one when I first started. I figured that I would try my luck against the raging bull and try to send it to snoozeville ( no sleep talk here!). Being the fortunate son of a gun, Gengar shoot a hypnosis wave before Tauros even has a chance to react. While the accuracy was shaky, the blast snags the horned beast and sends it to slumber.

    -- fun text --
    [B3K]: i like that it says my sleep doesnt affect gengar XD. it knows i'm selecting body slam


    I predict a switch, so I command my Gengar to send out a ray of confusion to whatever adversary B3K selects. However, the retired Bulbasaur opts to keep Tauros in to try to wear off his "sleep" status, and so his raging bull becomes both confused and asleep (behold: Inception).

    While other Gengars in this generation prefer the exploitation of technical machines, this one prefers the organic lifestyle, and thus has only the artificial move Explosion in its arsenal. Because of its personal choices, it has decided on retaining its signature move Night Shade over Seismic Toss. To remind all the newer folk, Chromatics was a simpler time in which type modifiers did not affect set-damage moves like the ones mentioned above. Thus, despite the plethora of normal- and psychic-type Pokemon in the standard metagame, Night Shade was a perfectly-acceptable move. Given this nugget of knowledge, my Gengar decides to chip away at old Tauros' health and darkens the arena with its ghastly aura.

    -- fun text --
    [B3k]: and another awful thing about RBY... waking up TAKES A TURN.
    the more i think about it the more i wonder why i clung onto RBY for so long

    [JMC]: no curselax

    [B3k]:true


    Fearing his lead would succumb to the darkness, B3k decides to bring in something that could absorb 100 hit points and chuckle at meager damage.


    Gengar vs. Chansey!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    I scowled at this decision of his, as it made my monster useless against the behemoth for anything short of explode. However, despite living in a Pokemon mausoleum for most of its life, it was too strong and healthy to end its life so soon. Gengar chose to summon another ray of confusion at the pink blob. What came next is some that it best explained by the battle log itself:

    CHANSEY is confused!
    bulbasaur3000's CHANSEY whacked itself in the crotch! Oh my!


    You dirty creature, you.

    Recognizing that continuing this confrontation was futile for the time being, my Gengar has elected to substitute itself out. I expected paralysis from this Chansey, and I did not want anything fast losing speed. I elected to send in my slowest monster to take the blunt of this devastating wave.


    Snorlax vs. Chansey!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    However, much to my surprise, B3K does not attempt to emit waves of electricity from his eggholder just yet. While he admits that he forgot I had no ground type, his decision stings just the same as that frigid wretch sends a chilling blizzard toward my poor narcoleptic buddy, chipping away more than a quarter of his HP. This match-up did not satisfy B3k as he turns to a new teammate to meet the prowess that is Snorlax.

    Snorlax vs. Golem!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    After being hit by such a ferocious blast by that wretched beast, Snorlax was not a happy camper. While normally too slow to search for the critical hits, he decides to go for broke and thrusts his body full-force in B3k's direction. By the time he gets there, Golem has already been switched into the match, and Snorlax's body critically bashed its rock-solid exterior. This leaves B3k at a conundrum: does my Laxen have Surf or Earthquake? In an older metagame where Gengar's poison type often kept him from being prevalent, both moves would be considered strong options. However, once people decided to forego this prejudice and use his ability as the fastest sleep-inducer in the game, Earthquake became a much wiser choice. Regardless, B3k chooses to replace his recently-revealed Golem for a Pokemon who could take both attacks with little hassle.

    Snorlax vs. Lapras!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Lapras comes into play, and brushes off the massive ground eruption Snorlax creates. Now, a Blizzard from Chansey hurt poor Laxen enough; a STAB Blizzard from Lapras would create irreparable damage. Then, in between our discussion about how boring GSC curselax was to the metagame, and how Growl was such a fun dick move against it, I get this message:

    --fun text --
    [B3k]: oh fuck my lapras normally has confuse ray, not body slam


    Learning this, I figure that he plans on paraslamming something like my Starmie. I couldn't live with doing something so vulgar, so I turn to the element of surprise.


    Gengar vs. Lapras!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Being a creature made of poisonous gas, Lapras' torpedoing body goes right through Gengar, causing nothing but a smirk on his demented grin. I hope for another out-prediction with Lapras thrusting its body across the stage as I spread more confusion among the stadium. It was to no avail, as Gengar loses a third of its health to a fearsome ice storm. Such attacks would destroy Gengar if I left him in this mess, and I feared a kamikaze methodology due to the likes of Golem still rampant. So, I turned to the most viable option to remove Lapras's tirade.

    Starmie vs. Lapras!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Starmie comes in to protect its battered comrades, and not a moment too soon. The second Blizzard Lapras unleashes was critically devastating, taking away almost a half of my jeweled treasure's health. I needed to stall his bludgeoning, so Starmie sent a shock of electricity to paralyze the carrier, and the technique forced Lappy to remain stiff as a board. Starmie took this advantage to send an explosion of electricity in Lapras's direction, and Lapras took the blow as it hurt itself in confusion.

    --fun text--
    [JMC]: PARAFUSE!


    Not wasting the opportunity to finish its nemesis, Starmie take first blood in this battle and send Lapras to the wayside with a chaotic bolt of thunder.


    Lapras out! 6-5 JMC

    Starmie vs. Venusaur!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    As much as I wanted to take my chances with Blizzard or Thunder Wave, I couldn't risk Venusaur sending a storm of razor-like vegetation to destroy my starfish beyond regeneration. I went with the only sound choice in the matter.

    Gengar vs. Venusaur!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Gengar is the only thing that could essentially wall the flowery toad, and he comes in as Venusaur released a cloud of sleeping spore reminiscent of the flora in the Wizard of Oz. Even ghosts get sleepy from this magical toxin and Gengar gets groggy. We both realize this match-up will render hapless results, and we simultaneously switch.

    Exeggutor vs. Tauros!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    It is time that I bring in good ole Eggy to the game. Expecting time to wake up from its slumber, Tauros meets my Exeggutor with a sleep bubble emerging from its nose. B3K predicts that I'll anticipate another switch and use a status move. Knowing that Psychic's 1/3 likelihood to reduce the opponent's "Special" statistic, I decide to let Eggy blast a psychic shock toward B3k's direction. This does not fare well for the dozing bull, dropping its special statistics and its health significantly. B3k cannot risk another Pokemon sleeping, so he brings in his infamous special sponge.

    -- fun text --
    [JMC]: YOU ARE NOW LESS SPECIAL, TAUROS!


    Exeggutor vs. Chansey!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    This would not end well. I am uncertain what Chansey will do, so I need something to absorb her attacks. I turn to my favorite and mainstay:

    Alakazam vs. Chansey!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Zam eats chunks of ice considerably well on the switch. It replies with a wave of thunder at the demon blob, and the thing freezes up at the sight of my magnificent creature.

    Snorlax vs. Chansey!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    I know when the Pokegods are smiling in my favor, and I cannot allow my Zam to sustain paralysis. I switch to Snorlax who shrugs off Chansey's T-Wave as it does not fear being slow. Chansey, however, fears Snorlax and runs away like the coward she is.

    Snorlax vs. Venusaur!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Snorlax shakes the stadium with his fatness -- much like Sir Chris back in the day -- as Venusaur enters the field. Knowing how critical those razored leaves feel on his blubbery skin, he seeks shelter inside his Pokeball in exchange for someone more apt to take on the constipated reptile.

    Exeggutor vs. Venusaur!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Eggy's high special and resistance to grass leaves Venusaur's efforts feeble and forgettable. By luck, Venusaur's own bodily thrust paralyzes my poor coconut tree while I bring Venusaur near the end of his road with some good aural vibrations.

    Exeggutor vs. Chansey!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    B3k decides to let Chansey enter the stage once more to face off against Eggy. By this time, Exeggutor is feeling quite gangster and wants to go out with guns banging. That poor animal never saw the explosion coming.

    Exeggutor out! Chansey out! 5-4 JMC

    Starmie vs. Venusaur!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    At this point, B3k was using Venusaur to get a free glance at who was coming out next. Starmie, while half-alive from the previous snowstorm, was ready to kill off this starting Pokemon. With Venusaur at only 1/25 of its full capacity, Starmie decided to put the beast down calmly with a not-very-effective electric bolt. Think the electric chair, only more humane.

    Venusaur out! 5-3 JMC

    Starmie vs. Alakazam!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    I didn't feel as if this match-up was against me, but I knew this was the only thing B3K could send out to potentially harm me. We trade t-waves and as I recover, I learn how well-trained his Alakazam was as it rattles Starmie to its core with a critical-hit-special-fall Psychic extravaganza. My starfish continues to recover itself back to health as it takes another critical hit Psychic blast (damn Chromatics and the CH rate being based off the base speed statistic!). This war would not end well for my urchin, so I sacrifice my sleeping gremlin to the mustachioed warrior.

    Gengar vs Alakazam!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Gengar goes out as quickly as he comes in, and his Zam even makes sure he makes Gengar feel less unique about itself in the process. Asshole.

    Gengar out! 4-3 JMC

    Snorlax vs. Alakazam
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    This means war. I send out Snorlax to take Alakazam to knockout range, but his Alakazam shows weakness and cowers to the fatness that is Laxen. Possibly predicting Snorlax's most supreme beam or a suicidal detonation, Zam leaves the battlefield with its spoons tucked beneath him.

    Snorlax vs. Golem
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    I know better that to let Laxen go off too soon. With his switch comes a predicted bodily slam against Golem's flesh. Apparently this Golem was not trained properly by B3K, or perhaps it was missing a chromosome; while the first Body Slam caused critical damage, the second impact caused partial paralysis. I rejoiced at this result but accepted that Snorlax did not deserve to be hurt by this unwieldy Golem.

    Starmie vs. Golem!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    I needed to take a chance. With Golem paralyzed, I was given the opportunity to bring in Starmie, possibly even unharmed. However, luck was not on my side, as not only did Golem fight through his paralysis to attack my Starmie, but his earth-rattling impact was critically effective to my aquatic combatant, taking its down. Damn.

    -- fun text --
    [B3k]: my golem's been waiting twelve years to kill a starmie probably


    Starmie out! 3-3 Tie.

    Tauros vs. Golem!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    I will be the first to attest that this was not the wisest move. I think that a mix of "I have been away from this game for a long time and I'm rusty", "I am playing a good friend", "I feel like being risky", and "it's Pokemon; who cares" were equally surging within me. At this point, the ideal scenario should have been to bring out Snorlax and weaken Golem. If I got lucky, Snorlax would be alive to explode onto Alakazam. If not, I could bring in Alakazam to clean up Golem, weaken his Zam to below 80%, sacrifice my Zammy, and sweep with Tauros. Instead, I took forever, returning to the old damage calculator from the most famous anthropological Pokemon artifact: Azure Heights. I realized that if Tauros dealt more than maximum damage, Blizzard could KO Golem right there. I was ballsy and it was 3 in the morning, so I took the risk. However, with the time it took to make this decision, I get this:

    -- fun text --
    [B3k]:while i was waiting for paco over there to choose a new pokemon to replace his starmie
    i went and got a beer
    cause i'm playing pokemon while drinking beer and that's great and i've never done this

    [JMC]: hahaha


    We're classy.

    As this point, I let Tauros have at Golem as it uses its ancient spirit animal to summon the cold and ice. The damage, luckily, becomes significant enough to put down Golem for good. Good 'Mon.


    Golem out! 3-2 JMC.

    Tauros vs. Alakazam!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Here comes the clincher! I fully expected the match to turn into Zam t-waving my Tauros, and me praying to finish him off before he recovers his damage as I become fully paralyzed. However, as Tauros unleashed a full-body impact against his Zammer, he critcally hits the psychic foe. In exchange, Tauros loses his demeanor and HP with a Psychotic force. While much luck has been in my favor, I can't seem but get the brunt of the special falls. I send Tauros to go for the kill.

    Alakazam out! 3-1 JMC.

    Tauros vs. Tauros!
    [​IMG][​IMG]

    This was it. His Tauros had less than a 1/3 of his HP remaining and was sound asleep. I knew I could finish the match with either any of his physical attacks, but I wanted to be cute. One rarely sees Tauros finish its relative with an ice-type move, and so I have it summon the glacial gods once more. However, being the dolt that I am, forgot Alakazam's previous special fall, and his bull remains sleep and alive. At any point, my Alakazam could finish the match, so the following goes down:

    -- fun text --
    [JMC]: you are shitting me
    blizzard didn't kill it
    hahaha
    that's what i get for being an ass

    [B3K]:hyper beam

    [JMC]:because it's HAIPAR BEEM


    Haipar Beem it is. Good night, Tauros.


    Tauros out! 3-0 JMC. JMC wins!

    The match ends and we bitch about how rusty we are. Overall, it was a lot of fun to relive a past metagame that nobody cares about anymore. I miss RBY... and challenge cups.

    Props:
    1) B3K, for being an awesome comrad.
    2) My Tauros, for killing things when they needed to die.
    3) Exeggutor, for killing Chansey.
    4) Starmie and Gengar, for making Lapras die early.
    5) Snorlax, for really sticking it to Golem.
    6) Porygon's Big Show & Azure, for not shutting down.

    Slops:
    1) Chansey, for existing in RBY.
    2) Starmie, for dying to a Golem.
    3) His Alakazam, for causing a special fall every damn time. Bastard.
    4) Me, for being an uncalculated dumbass.

    Since this brought back memories, and was a fun match, I figured a cool war story would be neat. Back to feeling ancient again...
  2. havoc

    havoc pottlepalooza
    is a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    2,455
    whats a pokemon?

    mathletes in da house
  3. ~Golden Emp

    ~Golden Emp

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2009
    Messages:
    558
    Inception LOL. Excellent read, and here you have someone that likes RBY, though I haven't played in ages...
  4. Carl

    Carl or Varl
    is a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnusis a Past SPL Winner

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2004
    Messages:
    4,540
    jmc AND havoc in the same thread.. an amazing sight this is!

    should hop on irc sometime, RBY is still alive and well for me and I'd be happy to spar.

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