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Sable-Style

Discussion in 'BW OU' started by ankyfdarkness, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. ankyfdarkness

    ankyfdarkness

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2009
    Messages:
    337
    How’s it going, Smogon?

    I just adore warstories to no end. Right from the time I started getting more active in the competitive community I could tell just how much I was going to enjoy reading them. (And maybe even writing my own.) That being said, this is my first one ever, and while it was not the most amazing battle, I do hope you find some entertainment in reading it. I know I had a lot of fun playing it!

    Disclaimer: I’m going to come out in the open and say I’m not a really good battler. My rating is constantly around 1100 and doesn’t really drop nor raise. I love competitive Pokemon, but I just have never been all that amazing at playing against other people. However, this battle against G00ble was an exception.

    My Team:
    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
    This is a relatively new offensive team I was trying out, after getting bored of my previous rain stall team. It's not really what I'd call a sandstorm team, as Tyranitar is mainly there as a revenge killer and opposing weather check. The team focuses on getting the rocks up and keeping opposing hazards away, (Donphan) then proceed to break down the opposing team's Pokemon with Salamence and finally sweeping with Swords Dance Virizion. Scizor does what a Choice Band Scizor always does and Sableye provides team support by way of +1 Taunts and Burns. NOTE: Sableye almost always leads, and the only reason he's not in the start slot is because I hate the idea of my opponent thinking I'm going to lead with him. :P

    Opponent's Team:
    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
    From team preview I see I'll be up against some really heavy hitters on this dude's team. I can deal with most of them, but it will require careful predictions and smart switches.

    I'm going to send Sableye out first. Many of his Pokemon will not appreciate a burn and Breloom and Forretress get shut down pretty hard after a Taunt. I have ways to deal with Heatran if he goes with that. After a few minutes of thought, I send Sableye out into the fray.

    G00ble sent out Breloom!
    Anky Darkness sent out Strider! (Sableye)

    [​IMG] (Sup.) Vs. [​IMG](Yo.)

    He starts out with Breloom, which is to be expected as the mushroom-head would rip Tyranitar open, forcing me to swap and take a Spore to the face. My choices are really simple at this point: WoW (as he doesn't have his damnable Toxic Orb working yet) or Taunt. I click Taunt as I find it to be safer opening move.

    Start of turn 1

    G00ble called Breloom back!
    G00ble sent out Heatran!
    Strider used
    Taunt!

    100%[​IMG] Vs. 100% [​IMG]


    Mainly because of reasons like this. His Breloom doesn't stay in to inflict any damage and if this Heatran is a defensive variant I just robbed him Stealth Rocks. Not too shabby. My next choice is, again, simple. I could swap out to Tyranitar who can take anything Heatran can dish out and threaten with Superpower, but my position with Sableye is too good to pass up. I click the move that makes this little Gremlin such a boss.

    Start of turn 2

    Strider used Trick!
    Strider obtained one Leftovers!
    G00ble's Heatran obtained one Lagging Tail!
    G00ble's Heatran used
    Lava Plume!
    Strider lost 129 HP! (42% of its health)
    Strider restored a little HP using its Leftovers!


    64%[​IMG](Got a present for you, bro.) Vs. 100%[​IMG](You're too damn kind.)

    Cool beans. If that had been a choice Heatran I would have neutered a big problem for my team. As it stands, I now know for certainty this guy is defensive, jugging by how much damage that Lava Plume did. Plus, Heatran just snagged a Lagging Tail. This makes it a hell of a lot easier for Donphan to deal with Heatran now, should it come to that.

    Unfortunately, Sableye can't do much more against the walking firestorm. I contemplate sacking him, but I really need his fast Taunt for Breloom. I'd also be nice to burn some more stuff. I go ahead and risk a swap to TTar. I pray LP doesn't inflict a burn this early in the battle.

    Start of turn 3
    Anky Darkness called Strider back!
    Anky Darkness sent out Tyranitar!
    Tyranitar's Sand Stream whipped up a sandstorm!
    G00ble's Heatran used Lava Plume!
    Tyranitar lost 39 HP! (11% of its health)

    88%[​IMG](let's do this thing) Vs. 100%[​IMG](How's crime, bitch?)

    Thank God that didn't burn. Superpower would seem like a good choice here, but before I pounce on the chance to click it, I think for a second. Superpower will do solid damage to his TTar, Heatran, and Hydreigon, but Stone Edge would nab his Gyara on the switch while still hitting some of the others for good damage. Gyara scares the crap outta me becuase I don't really have anything to stop him once he gets a boost.

    Start of turn 4
    G00ble called Heatran back!
    G00ble sent out Forretress!
    Tyranitar used
    Stone Edge!
    G00ble's Forretress lost 31% of its health!
    G00ble's Forretress restored a little HP using its Leftovers!


    88%[​IMG](What am I looking at here?) Vs. 74% [​IMG]

    That did not do as much as I hoped. Not a whole lot I can do here as I'm scarfed into SE. I swap to Sableye for them Taunts and burns.

    Start of turn 5
    Anky Darkness called Tyranitar back!
    Anky Darkness sent out Strider! (Sableye)
    G00ble called Forretress back!

    G00ble sent out Heatran!
    Strider is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Strider restored a little HP using its Leftovers!


    64%[​IMG] Vs. 100%[​IMG]

    Oh...kay. That didn't go as planned. I never anticipated a double switch. Smart move on G00ble's part.

    Here we are back to square one. I still don't want those unholy stones up, so I Taunt.


    Start of turn 6
    Strider used Taunt!
    G00ble's Heatran used Lava Plume!
    Strider lost 129 HP! (42% of its health)
    Strider was burned!
    Strider is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Strider restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Strider is hurt by its burn!

    10%[​IMG](Ow...) Vs. 100%[​IMG](Fun times.)

    The burn finally kicks in. My hope of saving Sableye for some more Taunts is pretty much shot. I decided to sac the, little, gutsy, gremlin so I can get a free switch with Virizion who can Close Combat this bum into oblivion.

    Start of turn 7
    G00ble called Heatran back!
    G00ble sent out Tyranitar!
    Strider used Recover!
    Strider is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Strider restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

    Strider is hurt by its burn!

    48%[​IMG](I'm alive?) Vs. 100%[​IMG](Let's tango, ghosty.)

    My opponent over-predicts here, and his TTar comes in. I have no idea why he would do that, but I guess I'll just roll with it. Are you ready to play with Sableye, TTar? That being said, I expect a double switch to Heatran to absorb any WoW. That seems to be the way my foe likes to do.

    I swap to Scizor just to scout
    . The red bug will not take much from any of his TTar's attacks and Heatran is laggin' like a troll, so it seems like a safe play.

    Start of turn 8
    G00ble called Tyranitar back!
    G00ble sent out Heatran!
    Anky Darkness called Strider back!
    Anky Darkness sent out Scizor!

    100%[​IMG](*cracks knuckles*) Vs. 100%[​IMG] (Um...you're not a purple ghost.)

    So he goes ahead and swaps to Heaty. That's fine. I'm pretty sure a defensive Heatran can take a Superpower at 100%, so I pick U-turn to scout.

    Start of turn 9
    G00ble's Heatran used Protect!
    G00ble's Heatran protected itself!
    Scizor used
    U-turn!
    G00ble's Heatran protected itself!


    100%[​IMG] Vs. 100%[​IMG]

    He does a little scouting of his own. I just U-Turn again as it's still my best option.

    Start of turn 10
    Scizor used U-turn!
    G00ble's Heatran lost 10% of its health!
    Anky Darkness called Scizor back!
    Anky Darkness sent out Tyranitar!

    G00ble's Heatran used Stealth Rock!
    Pointed stones float in the air around Anky Darkness's team!



    88%[​IMG] Vs. 100%[​IMG]

    The rocks settle on my side of the field. I wish I had kept them off a bit longer, but what can you do? Same scenario as above. SE so Gyara doesn't come in and start to setup. I don't have anything that can deal with a bulky DDing Garya.

    Start of turn 11
    Tyranitar used Stone Edge!
    G00ble's Heatran lost 42% of its health!
    G00ble's Heatran used
    Lava Plume!
    A critical hit!
    Tyranitar lost 75 HP! (21% of its health)



    67%[​IMG](You are you such a troll.) Vs. 58%[​IMG](It makes me look prettier.)

    Heatstuff stays in and takes some good damage from SE. LP didn't score a burn, which is really good. I go for another SE.

    Start of turn 12
    G00ble called Heatran back!
    G00ble sent out Breloom!
    Tyranitar used
    Stone Edge!
    G00ble's Breloom lost 37% of its health!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Breloom's Toxic Orb activated!
    G00ble's Breloom was badly poisoned!

    67%[​IMG] (Oh, dammit)Vs. 63% [​IMG](Lol)

    Shit! I did not see that coming, and now I'm going to pay for it. His swap leaves me in a bad position as Breloom can cause so much damage if it's left to setup. I pray to God he uses Spore and not Substitute as I swap to (a burned) Sableye.

    Start of turn 13
    Anky Darkness called Tyranitar back!
    Anky Darkness sent out Strider! (Sableye)
    Pointed stones dug into Strider!
    G00ble's Breloom used
    Spore!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Strider is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Strider restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!
    Strider is hurt by its burn!

    24%[​IMG](Aw yeah.) Vs. 69% [​IMG](I hate the movie Gremlins.)

    Yeah! Now I Taunt. At this point I really want the tempo on my side. Hopefully Breloom will just finish me off so I can swap into a sweeper.

    Start of turn 14
    Strider used Taunt!
    G00ble's Breloom can't use Bulk Up after the taunt!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Strider is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Strider restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!
    Strider is hurt by its burn!

    12%[​IMG](Come at me, bro.) Vs. 75% [​IMG](Fuck you.)

    Taunt does it's job, but Sableye still lives. I'll just Recover for some scouting action.

    Start of turn 15
    Strider used Recover!
    G00ble's Breloom used Seed Bomb!
    Strider lost 130 HP! (42% of its health)
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Strider is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Strider restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!
    Strider is hurt by its burn!
    8%[​IMG](You can't even kill me? Weakling...) Vs. 81% [​IMG](Fuck you.)

    How did I survive that? Dammit Sableye! I love how you can be bulky as hell sometimes, but now I need you to die!

    However...!

    This gives me an idea. I notice that Breloom is still Taunted which means he will almost certainly use Seed Bomb again. After seeing how much Sableye took from that I'm certain Salamence will be able to survive one. I go ahead and swap to him. Even though Sableye can't swap back in again there's still a chance I could spin those damned rocks away and get one last Taunt or WoW.


    Start of turn 16
    Anky Darkness called Strider back!
    Anky Darkness sent out Salamence!
    Pointed stones dug into Salamence!
    Salamence intimidates G00ble's Breloom!

    G00ble's Breloom's Attack fell!
    Salamence lost 24 HP! (7% of its health)

    Salamence is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!
    G00ble's Breloom's taunt ended!

    62%[​IMG](Cry to your mommy, salad!) Vs. 81% [​IMG](Hehehehe...shit...)

    Lookin' good. I Draco Meteor as I'm almost positive it will KO Breloom and not much else on his team is going to like taking one.

    Start of turn 17
    G00ble called Breloom back!
    G00ble sent out Gyarados!
    G00ble's Gyarados intimidates Salamence!

    Salamence's Attack fell!
    Salamence used Draco Meteor!
    G00ble's Gyarados lost 80% of its health!
    Salamence's Sp. Att. sharply fell!
    Salamence is hurt by its Life Orb!

    Salamence is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Gyarados is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Gyarados restored a little HP using its Leftovers!


    40%[​IMG] Vs. 20% [​IMG]

    If only I had found time to get the rocks up. This is still good, tough. Like I said earlier, Garya can be a bitch and now his is hurt like a wounded puppy. I DM again to finish this crappie off.

    Start of turn 18
    Salamence used Draco Meteor!
    G00ble's Gyarados lost 19% of its health!
    G00ble's Gyarados fainted!

    Salamence's Sp. Att. sharply fell!
    Salamence is hurt by its Life Orb!
    Salamence is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble sent out Hydreigon!


    28%[​IMG] Vs. 0% [​IMG] >>>> 100% [​IMG]

    One down five to go. No time to celebrate, though. In comes his Dragon. I'm going to guess it's scarfed, and even if it isn't a -4 DM isn't going to do a whole lot. Looking at my team, I try to decide which one I want to take a Draco Meteor. The choice falls down to TTar and Sableye. I go with TTar as Ghost Boy could be the difference between victory and defeat on that Breloom. Plus, if Hydreigon isn't scarfed I can get some good damage on it with Crunch.

    Start of turn 19
    Anky Darkness called Salamence back!
    Anky Darkness sent out Tyranitar!
    Pointed stones dug into Tyranitar!
    G00ble's Hydreigon used
    Draco Meteor!
    Tyranitar lost 165 HP! (48% of its health)
    G00ble's Hydreigon's Sp. Att. sharply fell!
    G00ble's Hydreigon is buffeted by the sandstorm!

    6%[​IMG] Vs. 94% [​IMG]

    That hurt...All I can really do is Crunch.

    Start of turn 20
    G00ble's Hydreigon used Draco Meteor!
    Tyranitar lost 21 HP! (6% of its health)
    Tyranitar fainted!

    G00ble's Hydreigon's Sp. Att. sharply fell!
    G00ble's Hydreigon is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Anky Darkness sent out Donphan!
    Pointed stones dug into Donphan!
    0%[​IMG] >>>> 94%[​IMG] Vs. 88% [​IMG]

    Good bye, TTar. You did well. The good news is I now know he is, without a doubt, scarfed. I go to Donphan to finally get my rocks up and hopefully get rid of his. Better late then never, right?

    Start of turn 21
    G00ble called Hydreigon back!
    G00ble sent out Heatran!
    Donphan used
    Stealth Rock!
    Pointed stones float in the air around G00ble's team!
    Donphan restored a little HP using its Leftovers!

    100%[​IMG](I love dem rocks!) Vs. 88% [​IMG] >>>> 58%[​IMG](Meh.)

    He goes to Heatran for whatever reason and I get my rocks set up. I could EQ here but he will most certainly go back to Hydreigon. (This guy loves switching.) I Ice Shard to pull some sick damage on his Dragon.

    Start of turn 22
    G00ble called Heatran back!
    G00ble sent out Hydreigon!
    Pointed stones dug into G00ble's Hydreigon!
    Donphan used
    Ice Shard!
    G00ble's Hydreigon lost 32% of its health!
    G00ble's Hydreigon is buffeted by the sandstorm!

    100%[​IMG] Vs. 58%[​IMG] >>>> 38% [​IMG]

    I really...really should have RS'd this turn. Sturdy would have insured I'd survive to Ice Shard next turn. Damn my bad battling. Oh well...

    I Ice Shard this turn. :(

    Start of turn 23
    Donphan used Ice Shard!
    G00ble's Hydreigon lost 33% of its health!
    G00ble's Hydreigon used
    Draco Meteor!
    Donphan lost 383 HP! (99% of its health)

    G00ble's Hydreigon's Sp. Att. sharply fell!
    G00ble's Hydreigon is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Hydreigon fainted!

    Donphan restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    G00ble sent out Tyranitar!
    Pointed stones dug into G00ble's Tyranitar!

    1%[​IMG](I live!) Vs. 0% [​IMG] >>>> 88%[​IMG](Not for long you gray ass hole.)

    He goes to his Tyranitar to finish me off. I EQ in case my opponent decides to get cute. Ice Shard will do pitiful damage anyways.

    Start of turn 24
    G00ble's Tyranitar used Crunch!
    Donphan lost 25 HP! (6% of its health)
    Donphan fainted!

    Anky Darkness sent out Scizor!

    Pointed stones dug into Scizor!

    0%[​IMG] <<DEAD >>>> 88%[​IMG] Vs. 88%[​IMG]

    The score is now 4-4.
    I bring in my red bug to clean up this mess. I go with Superpower as hits pretty much any of his Pokemon hard if he does anymore switching.

    Start of turn 25
    Scizor used Superpower!
    G00ble's Tyranitar's Chople Berry weakened Superpower's power!
    G00ble's Tyranitar lost 87% of its health!
    G00ble's Tyranitar fainted!

    Scizor's Attack fell!
    Scizor's Defense fell!
    G00ble sent out Breloom!

    Pointed stones dug into G00ble's Breloom!

    88%[​IMG] Vs. 0%[​IMG] >>>> 75% [​IMG]

    He goes into Bre-fuckin-loom. There's only one thing to do here: swap to Sableye to prevent the Sporing. Looks like the gremlin can help my team stop Breloom one last time. I salute you Sableye.

    Start of turn 26
    Anky Darkness called Scizor back!
    Anky Darkness sent out Strider! (Sableye)
    Pointed stones dug into Strider!
    Strider fainted!

    G00ble's Breloom used
    Drain Punch!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!
    Anky Darkness sent out Salamence!
    Pointed stones dug into Salamence!
    Salamence intimidates G00ble's Breloom!
    G00ble's Breloom's Attack fell!

    0%[​IMG](This...team...will...win...) >>>> 4%[​IMG] (I'm going to roast you, salad!) Vs. 81% [​IMG](We'll see about that.)

    Mence gets one last attack before sandstorm and LO recoil finish him. Sadly, I'm a fool and I clicked Fire Blast when I knew Heatran was waiting in the wings. Just another reason why I'm dumb. Looking back I guess it didn't make any difference, but still...

    Start of turn 27
    G00ble called Breloom back!
    G00ble sent out Heatran!
    Pointed stones dug into G00ble's Heatran!
    Salamence used
    Fire Blast!
    G00ble's Heatran's Flash Fire raised the power of its Fire-type moves!
    Salamence is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Salamence fainted!

    Anky Darkness sent out Virizion!
    Pointed stones dug into Virizion!

    0%[​IMG] (That was dumb...) >>>> 94%[​IMG] Vs. 46%[​IMG] (*pops neck*)

    That ended exactly as one would expect. I go to the one Pokemon I hope can finish this: Virizion! From here it's just a couple of Superpowers (by way of screaming red mantis) and Close Combats to victory! I could Swords Dance to ensure victory but I'm confident a CC will KO Breloom when it comes back in.

    Start of turn 28
    Virizion used Close Combat!
    G00ble's Heatran lost 34% of its health!
    G00ble's Heatran fainted!

    Virizion's Defense fell!
    Virizion's Sp. Def. fell!
    Virizion is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Virizion restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    G00ble sent out Breloom!
    Pointed stones dug into G00ble's Breloom!

    94%[​IMG] Vs. 0%[​IMG] >>>> 75% [​IMG]

    I Close Combat to finish off this shroom, who has been haunting me since turn 1.


    Start of turn 29
    Virizion used Close Combat!
    G00ble's Breloom lost 62% of its health!
    Virizion's Defense fell &
    Sp. Def. fell!
    G00ble's Breloom used
    Spore!
    Virizion fell asleep!
    Virizion is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Virizion restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!

    94%[​IMG] Vs. 19% [​IMG]

    It didn't kill him...

    At this point I know it's game. If I swap to Scizor (my last Pokemon other than Virizion) he'll ether Bulk Up or Drain Punch. If a max attack CC from Virizion only did 62% I find it hard to believe a Bullet Punch is going to get the job done. No, I think my best chance is to hope Virizion gets his ass up, and CC this bastard to death.

    Start of turn 30
    Virizion is fast asleep!
    G00ble's Breloom used
    Drain Punch!
    Virizion lost 279 HP! (86% of its health)
    Virizion is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Virizion restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!

    8%[​IMG] Vs. 58% [​IMG]

    One last chance to
    wake up and finish this. Come on, Virizion! Close Combat this salad's ass!

    ...


    Start of turn 31
    Virizion is fast asleep!
    G00ble's Breloom used
    Bulk Up!
    G00ble's Breloom's Attack & Defense rose!
    Virizion is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Virizion restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!


    And that's game. My opponent did the smart thing and Bulked Up right then. Even if I did wake up I couldn't KO.

    While it's true that Scizor could finish it from there, he'd then be locked into Bullet Punch against Forretress. Good game, G00ble! You played well and never really made any mistakes! I on the other hand did make a few (Rapid Spinning, anyone?) but for the most part it was fun.

    Here's the rest of the battle for you guys.

    Start of turn 32
    Virizion is fast asleep!

    G00ble's Breloom used
    Drain Punch!
    Virizion lost 25 HP! (7% of its health)
    Virizion fainted!

    Virizion had its energy drained!

    The sandstorm rages!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!
    Anky Darkness sent out Scizor!
    Pointed stones dug into Scizor!

    Start of turn 33

    Scizor used Bullet Punch!
    G00ble's Breloom lost 38% of its health!

    G00ble's Breloom used
    Spore!
    Scizor fell asleep!

    The sandstorm rages!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!

    Start of turn 34

    Scizor is fast asleep!

    G00ble's Breloom used
    Drain Punch!
    Scizor lost 177 HP! (51% of its health)
    Anky Darkness:
    gg
    Scizor had its energy drained!

    The sandstorm rages!
    G00ble's Breloom is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    G00ble's Breloom restored HP using its Poison Heal!
    G00ble:
    gg

    Start of turn 35

    Scizor is fast asleep!

    G00ble's Breloom used
    Drain Punch!
    Scizor lost 82 HP! (23% of its health)
    Scizor fainted!

    Scizor had its energy drained!



    My MVP: Sableye!

    Who else? Sableye kept the rocks off my back for the first half of the battle as well as checked Breloom and crippled Heatran.

    G00ble's MVP: Breloom!

    This guy was a constant threat and finally won my opponent the game.

    Pros:
    Sableye and Breloom for being bros.
    No Hax!
    The players for doing well.
    No Pokemon were truly worthless in this battle.

    Cons:
    Gayra kinda got skewered on Mence's DM.
    My poor judgment with Donphan. (Why didn't you Rapid Spine?!)


    I hope you guys enjoyed taking a look at this! Both players made some smart choices and there was limited Hax during the battle but in the end someone has to win, and this time it wasn't me!

    Thanks for reading! Rate hate or whatever.





  2. I Am

    I Am

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2011
    Messages:
    69
    That was a fun read. I'm no expert at warstories or anything, nor am I one of those douches that rates everything out of 1000, just a regular guy stopping by to say I read the whole thing and enjoyed it. Thought you really had the game there with Virizion :\.
  3. ankyfdarkness

    ankyfdarkness

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2009
    Messages:
    337
    How so? Should I have SD'd against Heatran? I wasn't sure I could take a Lava Plume and live, and that's not even considering the 30%? burn chance. I'm glad you liked the story, though! :)
  4. Jimera0

    Jimera0 You don't understand, Edgar is the one in the hole!

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2010
    Messages:
    1,629
    I don't know if Sword Dancing would've helped honestly, thanks to that flash fire boost you gave Heatran. If not for that you could've probably tanked it and as long as you didn't get burned it would've been GG. As the situation was though, I don't know whether you could've taken it or not and it's natural to assume that Breloom would fall to CC at first glance. Upon further review it surviving makes more sense, as Breloom actually has 80 base defense whereas Virizon has only 90 base attack. Still, the choice is quite understandable. However I do think you made a bit of a goof by not switching to Scizor as soon as Virizon was put to sleep. A CB bullet punch might not KO in one shot if it used Drain Punch or Bulk Up, but a second one certainly would and there's not a hope in hell that it'd OHKO Scizor without a boost. After that you could just switch back to Virizon to get unchoiced locked and you would've at least had a chance with the rest of his team. Of course your biggest mistake you already realized was not rapid spinning when you had the chance.

    Battle aside though, your format isn't bad but a little cluttered since you didn't remove or shrink repetitive bits of the log, and all the colored text made it a bit awkward to read for me. Also, while the "chatter" of the pokemon was somewhat entertaining, it didn't leave room for useful information (like Sableye's burn) to be relayed, and when it caused the sprites to end up on two lines it wasn't pretty. Also, some of your damage percentages didn't line up. I recomend you use a replayer to help keep track of percentages for you. You can also check out my own warstory for an example of good formatting; that seemed to be the one thing everyone commenting on it agreed was great.

    Finally, your commentary wasn't bad but I felt it kind of lacked emotion somewhat, the spice that makes it really stand out. I know doing that is hard to come by but maybe in the future you can work to ensure that at no point does it turn dull.

    Now just to be clear, this is definitely not a bad warstory, but there is room for improvement. I'm just hoping that a little bit of advice and constructive critcism can help you reach your full potential :)
  5. ankyfdarkness

    ankyfdarkness

    Joined:
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    Yeah...like I said, I'm not a great battler.

    Thanks for this review, though! I took your advice and condensed the Warstory a bit. I took out all those colors and some of the unneeded sprites. I'll defenetly remember that about the Damage percentages. Could you point out where things don't match up, please? I couldn't find them.

    As for the commentary, I try to make it sound more interesting next time. It was a lot harder than I thought to make a battle sound fun and entertaining. :P

    Thanks again for the feedback!
  6. Nova

    Nova genger
    is a member of the Site Staffis an official Team Rateris a Smogon IRC AOPis a Community Contributoris a Contributor to Smogon
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    The battle was pretty solid but could have used more in-depth and interesting commentary. Overall, 5/10.

    One thing that really bothered me is the team-building by both you and your opponent. You say that your team is offensive but seems to be pretty balanced to be. Also, your team entirely consists of physical-attackers, idk if this was intentional. Finally, why Virizion over Terrakion? Just some things to think about
  7. LighTz911

    LighTz911

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    I think you did pretty well for someone who's only in the 1100 range. Decent warstory!
  8. ankyfdarkness

    ankyfdarkness

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    Interesting observation. Yeah, the team does play more like a balanced team than an offensive team. That's part of the reason I went with Virizion over Terrakion. I felt like he had better defensive synergy. (Which is a poor reason to choose a Pokemon for an offensive team, in my opinion.) I'll certainly look into Terrakion for better offensive synergy.

    All physical attackers "seemed" like it would work fine, as Mence is mixed to take out the likes of Ferrothorn and Forretress. I don't know. I really should look for some special muscle to back the team up.

    Finally, the commentary was not great, I agree. Looking back through the warstory I think this is partly because (let's face it) the battle was nothing amazing. It was hard for me to make a average battle sound cool and interesting, and it looks like it didn't work anyways. The only reason I even warstoried it was to get a feel for the way the process worked and get some criticism. (Which I appreciate, by the way.)

    Thanks for taking the time to comment on this.

    Thanks.
  9. Dragontongue195040

    Dragontongue195040

    Joined:
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    Great warstory! I'm currently also in the death trap of having a score of ~1100. interesting battle, and pretty good commentary. 7/10.
    Just one nitpickything- perhaps you should have SD's with your virizion when Breloom came in. That way, your defense would sit at just -1 (instead of -2 after two CC's) and you would be able to KO after you woke up. If you hadn't CC'd that breloom, you would have lived one more turn, increasing your chance of waking up and hitting back. I know that there was NO WAY you could predict that five turns before but it's the difference between people with 1400 ratings and people woth -1000 ratings.
    Other than that TINY detail, your story was good. Don't worry, everyone makes mistakes (back in gen 4 i overpredicted and lava plumed an opposing Heatran THREE times before switching to my own breloom that was 1HKO'd). Making mistakes is part of the learning process.
    I'd really like to battle you over PO one day. I feel like this battle does not truly ortray the power of your team. Hit me up and we can arrange a date.
  10. ReshiramBlackZekromWhite

    ReshiramBlackZekromWhite

    Joined:
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    If I may make a suggestion, put some more defense into your team. If you look at your opponent's team, you'll see obvious sweepers (Hydreigon, Gyarados, Breloom), some Pokemon that can attack strongly, but still hold their own (Tyranitar, Heatran), and a pure defensive Pokemon (Forretress). This allows your opponent to defend himself while attacking you, while your team seems to be focused offense, with only Sableye being primarily defensive.
    I would take Virizion off and replace it with Terrakion. Much better in terms of offense, its dual-STABs are resisted by only Toxicroak, Nidoking/queen, Gallade, and Claydol (counting OU mons). Add either Ground or Bug (EQ or X-Scissor) to get rid of two more. Swords Dance and/or Rock Polish are great sets, and Band/Scarf are great too.
    Salamence is a great choice, and I'd say it's just about equal to Hydreigon in terms of Pokemon. Hydreigon has an advantage in being only 2X weak to Ice, and resisting Electric, but it's slightly lower Attacks and Speed may make it less valuable on your team.
    Tyranitar is a great offensive Pokemon, and having a weather check is great. However, Virizion, Salamence, and Sableye are all hurt by Sandstorm. Salamence, being a Life Orb sweeper needs all of its HP, and Sableye, being a common lead, and something you use a LOT to troll others, needs to keep its HP up in case of a strong attack. Having Terrakion instead of Virizion will work better with this, especially as Terrakion's Sp.Def is boosted via Sandstorm. Mixed Tyranitar is also an option instead of Scarf. That means that something faster, like Salamence can go scarf and have a higher Speed advantage.
    Overall I rate your warstory an 8.5 out of 10. Some things just didn't make sense, but it was fun to read.
  11. Vix

    Vix

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    It is not amazing warstory but, it is a good one.
    I understand where you are coming from though, Im not that good of an OU battler either.
    I give this an 8/10.
  12. Saboros

    Saboros

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    Nice warstory, good read. Nicely made.
  13. necrostevo

    necrostevo

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    Well written!

    Great warstory! This was a pretty good battle. Seeing Virizion and Breloom was more interesting (finally, an OU battle without Ferrothorn/Rotom-W); so, I know that alone made it more interesting for me.
  14. Funkasaurus

    Funkasaurus VIRUS
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    Good warstory! Had fun reading it.

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