Sinking Submarine Mafia: Postgame

The submarine was in complete darkness today. All of the battery’s power went to powering the essential systems, and lights are not one of those. A handful of flashlights are all that there is to provide illumination, and they are all being used to work on repairing the reactor.

TalkingLion mutters under his breath that at least the darkness means that none of you will notice a difference when you pass into the abyss.

Nobody has shown up to rescue you yet. It seems that nobody ever will.

The battery’s charge is currently at 6%.

In the darkness, there are a lot of voices saying a lot of things. But the thing that is said the most is “Let us hurt this Zebu character.” The suspicious guys, LonelyNess, Village Leader UncleSam, and Walrein the Aquanaut, all vote for Zebu, and promptly die afterwards. Zebu has the most votes, and takes 15 HP damage.

Then HruDe joins the game, a name that is so terribly bad that it is just terribly bad. Alias Jersey is no longer kidnapped, and alias Caboose is kidnapped. Another odd message is displayed by a computer monitor:
Ditto is not Cookie
The body of Zebu is found lying in the hallway when Walrein trips over it and breaks his nose. He appears to have died from being smeared with a campaign:
Dear Zebu,
You are Eragon.

You are a boy who found a dragon egg while out hunting whose life was turned upside-down when Galbatorix’s minions destroyed your house and killed your uncle. Since then you have been traveling about in a series of poorly written books attempting to defeat Galbatorix.

At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “Heal <alias> with magic.” If <alias>’s HP is greater than or equal to half of his Max HP, you will restore 6 HP to <alias>. If <alias>’s HP is less than half of his Max HP, you will restore 8 HP to <alias>. Because one of your defining character traits is stupidity, you may not target yourself.

Max HP: 18
Attack: 3

You win if you are alive when Lt. Surge, Harman Smith and Buzz Lightyear are dead.
This was HD.

Deadline is on Sunday (3/18) at 8:00 PM CST.
 

Layell

Alas poor Yorick!
is a Social Media Contributor Alumnusis a Top Artist Alumnusis a Community Leader Alumnusis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Researcher Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Simulator Moderator Alumnus
DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD

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Man I can't believe I didn't get the chance to switch back to lynching HD in the spirit of the play Hamlet oh well!
 
Incredibly, the reactor has been repaired. It is now providing power to the submarine, and all the lights have come back on. Layell laughs and says that the reactor will continue to provide power long after you are all dead.

Ace Emerald does a check of the submarine, looking for any damage. What he discovers is heartbreaking. The air purification system has begun to fail again, and there will be no repairing it this time.

Ditto begins to take bets on when you will all die.

In a landslide majority, including the vote of that HruDe fellow (who voted for Kitten, and then died), Kitten has majority. In today’s public beating, some people actually bring knives to the table, which get lodged in Kitten’s frame. Kitten has taken 15 HP damage.

Despite the abuse he has taken, Kitten begins to pick himself up again. Walrein begins to foam at the mouth, shouting “Oh my god why on earth will you not die!?” Kitten reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a revolver. Taking aim at the jabbering Walrein, Kitten fires a round straight between Walrein’s eyes, killing him instantly. Walrein (alias Hamlet) was:
Dear Hamlet,
You are L. Ron Hubbard.

The founder of Scientology, you are the leader of your cult. Scientology as a religion is a bunch of lies and you know it, but those fools keep giving you their money, so why should you enlighten them to the truth?

At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “CX - Convert <a name> to Scientology.” You will create a cultist, who will appear on the alias list as <a name>. A cultist has a Max HP of 1, an Attack of 0, and a Vote of 1. You may have a maximum of 5 cultists at once.

At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “CX - Xenu commands <cultist alias> to vote for <alias>.” The specified cultist will place a vote for <alias>, with this vote being revealed at the time of update. A cultist dies after voting, and you may have as many cultists vote as you want during a cycle. This action can be performed while kidnapped.

Max HP: 18
Attack: 3

You win if you are alive when Sarah Palin, Theodore Roosevelt and Dracula are dead.
The deed done, Kitten slumps against the wall, and collapses under the weight of the wounds he bears, and then expires. He was:
Dear Kitten,
You are Theodore Roosevelt.

The 26th, and greatest, President of the United States, you have had an incredible array of occupations and interests. Outdoorsman, writer, police comissioner and the man who made the Panama Canal happen, there is nothing you cannot do.

At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “CX - Speak softly and find a bigger stick.” Instead of attacking this cycle, you will instead find a bigger stick, permanently increasing your Attack by 1. Your Attack can only go up to a maximum of 5. This action may not be performed on cycle 0.

Because you are as strong a bull moose, “hooker” types roles cannot stop your attack from succeeding.

Because you will shrug off even bullets, any attack directed at you will have its damage reduced by 1. This applies to every attack that is directed at you.

Max HP: 18
Attack: 3

You win if you are alive when Blue Eyes Toon Dragon, L. Ron Hubbard, and Adrian Monk are dead.
This was zorbees. His attack power was 5.

A computer monitor is displaying the following message:
Azure is not Batman
The body of
Cookie has been found stuffed into a litter bin. He was:
Dear Cookie,
You are Tommy Pickles.

The leader of a group of babies, you are a one-year old child. Incredibly adventurous, you and your fellow babies will often cause trouble for others by playing where you shouldn’t be, or where you are in the way.

At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “CX - Play at <alias>’s house.” If anybody enters <alias>’s house with the intent to deal damage to <alias>, they will trip on the toys that you were playing with and fall down the stairs into the basement, preventing them from harming <alias>.

Max HP: 18
Attack: 4

You win if you are alive when Firekeeper, Hercules and Lt. Surge are dead.
This was imperfectluck.

Deadline is on Tuesday (3/20) at 8:00 PM CST. Walrein has won the game.
 

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