Engineer Pikachu
Good morning, you bastards!
blahblahblah
lynch hamlet
lynch hamlet
The body of Zebu is found lying in the hallway when Walrein trips over it and breaks his nose. He appears to have died from being smeared with a campaign:Ditto is not Cookie
This was HD.Dear Zebu,
You are Eragon.
You are a boy who found a dragon egg while out hunting whose life was turned upside-down when Galbatorix’s minions destroyed your house and killed your uncle. Since then you have been traveling about in a series of poorly written books attempting to defeat Galbatorix.
At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “Heal <alias> with magic.” If <alias>’s HP is greater than or equal to half of his Max HP, you will restore 6 HP to <alias>. If <alias>’s HP is less than half of his Max HP, you will restore 8 HP to <alias>. Because one of your defining character traits is stupidity, you may not target yourself.
Max HP: 18
Attack: 3
You win if you are alive when Lt. Surge, Harman Smith and Buzz Lightyear are dead.
The deed done, Kitten slumps against the wall, and collapses under the weight of the wounds he bears, and then expires. He was:Dear Hamlet,
You are L. Ron Hubbard.
The founder of Scientology, you are the leader of your cult. Scientology as a religion is a bunch of lies and you know it, but those fools keep giving you their money, so why should you enlighten them to the truth?
At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “CX - Convert <a name> to Scientology.” You will create a cultist, who will appear on the alias list as <a name>. A cultist has a Max HP of 1, an Attack of 0, and a Vote of 1. You may have a maximum of 5 cultists at once.
At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “CX - Xenu commands <cultist alias> to vote for <alias>.” The specified cultist will place a vote for <alias>, with this vote being revealed at the time of update. A cultist dies after voting, and you may have as many cultists vote as you want during a cycle. This action can be performed while kidnapped.
Max HP: 18
Attack: 3
You win if you are alive when Sarah Palin, Theodore Roosevelt and Dracula are dead.
This was zorbees. His attack power was 5.Dear Kitten,
You are Theodore Roosevelt.
The 26th, and greatest, President of the United States, you have had an incredible array of occupations and interests. Outdoorsman, writer, police comissioner and the man who made the Panama Canal happen, there is nothing you cannot do.
At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “CX - Speak softly and find a bigger stick.” Instead of attacking this cycle, you will instead find a bigger stick, permanently increasing your Attack by 1. Your Attack can only go up to a maximum of 5. This action may not be performed on cycle 0.
Because you are as strong a bull moose, “hooker” types roles cannot stop your attack from succeeding.
Because you will shrug off even bullets, any attack directed at you will have its damage reduced by 1. This applies to every attack that is directed at you.
Max HP: 18
Attack: 3
You win if you are alive when Blue Eyes Toon Dragon, L. Ron Hubbard, and Adrian Monk are dead.
The body of Cookie has been found stuffed into a litter bin. He was:Azure is not Batman
This was imperfectluck.Dear Cookie,
You are Tommy Pickles.
The leader of a group of babies, you are a one-year old child. Incredibly adventurous, you and your fellow babies will often cause trouble for others by playing where you shouldn’t be, or where you are in the way.
At any time you may send General Spoon and theangryscientist a PM titled “CX - Play at <alias>’s house.” If anybody enters <alias>’s house with the intent to deal damage to <alias>, they will trip on the toys that you were playing with and fall down the stairs into the basement, preventing them from harming <alias>.
Max HP: 18
Attack: 4
You win if you are alive when Firekeeper, Hercules and Lt. Surge are dead.