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#smogon Dodgeball Match. You pick who wins.

Discussion in 'Smogon's Greatest Hits' started by cloud, Jun 3, 2006.

?

Who will win?!

  1. cloud's team (cloud, gk, noobster, batpig, brain, lords)

    43 vote(s)
    42.2%
  2. chaos' team (chaos, meddle, carl, articuno64, lesm46, misty)

    59 vote(s)
    57.8%
  1. cloud

    cloud groove, slam, work it back, filter that baby, bump
    is a Battle Server Admin Alumnusis a Smogon IRC AOp Alumnusis a Super Moderator Alumnus

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    Alright guys, we were all hanging out in #smogon, and chaos and I were pretending to be captains for a friendly dodgeball game. It turned into a "thing", and we made our teams, now we want you to vote on who would win - chaos' team or my team.

    chaos will post descriptions of his team members in the second post, mine follow.

    cloud - with a mind like a razor and eyes like a hawk, dougun is the fearless leader and captain of the team, he is fast, agile, and most importantly brown. this enables him to lengthen his arms to great lengths, much like dhalsim from the street fighter series. as such, he is inherently good at dodgeball, but also excels at variations of dodgeball, like pin-zap-ball.

    gk (golemkong/geek to most) - remember the kid who stole your pokemon cards back in fifth grade? you cried. yeah, he was big, he was black. gk is that kid, except he's got a heart of gold. competitive by nature, gk will whomp you on the court - basketball or dodgeball.

    noobster - shrouded in mystery, this 6'0" behemoth is nothing to fuck with. let's just pretend his gimmick picture really is him. except the real him is taller. he's going to kick your ass, bitch.

    batpig - he hugs a LOT. many speculate his sexuality, but really, this big chinese panda bear is very straight, and gets a lot of boobs from his hugging rampages. as such, he is adept to grabbing large sacks (balls) in his large bosom; his catch rate is unrivaled.

    brain - with a name like brain, you'd think this skinny red-panted fiend would be last pick in a dodgeball game. you'd be wrong. brain's got this game down to a science, and i mean that literally. equipped with his self-powering linux laptop, he'll figure out where you're aiming in just a few keystrokes, and calculate how many inches to move in even less. brain'll fuck you up.

    lords - don't let his +4 helmet of intelligence and +4 shoes of geek fool you, lords' rigorous training in world of warcraft has made his response-time insanely short. his large size and insane mobility allows him to move so quickly that it is almost impossible to see him. don't let his insanely stupid username fool you either, lord sesshoumarou is NOT a fan of anime. anymore.
  2. chaos

    chaos
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    Owner

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    chaos:
    The man. The legend. The legend BEHIND the man. chaos is well known to be one of the finest dodgeball players in Smogon, training with the legendary Cornelius Midable Fickle. chaos plays with fierce vigor and is reported to occasionally take off his pants and catch several a dodgeball with his "3rd hand."

    meddle:
    meddle is a newcomer to the dodgeball arena, but he has proven himself by beating Sanders over 500 times in 1v1 dodgeball in a single day. meddle lives at home with his two kids Billey and Davie. "I have to set a good example for my kids. If I don't, who will?" meddle reported to ESPN in '05.

    Carl:
    Carl "Built to Catch" Carlson is another fine catcher. Carl believes profiles are conformist, so he will resume playing Wilco for the remainder of this description. "Fuck the man and everything he stands for," Carl released as a statement to the press. "I'm sick of music being packaged by corporate whores."

    Articuno64:
    Jason "Maplez" Wynja uses many evasive techniques to avoid the ball. "He's like a troop of greased beavers," opponents have said. "There is no catching Maplez. He slides across the floor as if it were covered in fresh canadian snow." Wynja is an avid nudist and streaker, and has been arrested several times for showing his rump roast to female fans of the game.

    Lesm46:
    Lesm46 has been compared to many a stinky fart: silent, but deadly. He has also been known to manipulate luck of all sorts in other games related to dodgeball such as UNO and Pokémon. His jersey number, 46, represents nearly nothing. "I just like the number," Lesm46 reported to the Associated Press. Lesm46 plays UNO while listening to Mobb Deep in his spare time.

    Misty:
    Misty, known to his opponents as "Bubbles," is a 350 pound dodgeball veteran. Misty has hardly ever missed catching a ball, whether it be with his "bubble" stomach or his hands, which have been compared to large caves. In his spare time Misty enjoys being washed up on beaches.
  3. Sanders

    Sanders
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  4. goofball

    goofball
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    voting cloud cause unlike chaos his team isnt all white !
  5. noobster

    noobster space cowboy
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    you guys are dead
  6. Articuno64

    Articuno64 1 to 63 were taken
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    i'm tempted to lock this topic because it's already just so perfect
  7. meddle

    meddle
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    noobster, eating the ball is cheating
  8. havoc

    havoc pottlepalooza
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    the apocalypse is upon us
  9. chaos

    chaos
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    chaos wins the battle
  10. Bugsy23

    Bugsy23 "Lets go to sleep in Paris, and wake up in Tokyo"
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    "gk can I get your autograph?"
  11. cloud

    cloud groove, slam, work it back, filter that baby, bump
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    [02:04:55] <@cloud> anyone in their right mind would pick my team
    [02:05:03] <@cloud> i have 3 6'0"+ people

    ps really more of you jerks should hang out in #smogon. it's so much fun.

    TALLER IS BETTER BECAUSE IT IS STRONGER USUALLY AND IN THIS CASE DEFINITELY
  12. Carl

    Carl or Varl
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    Your team has bigger and slower targets cloud. Expect defeat.
  13. gk

    gk mighty
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    i would hit carl so hard in the head it might bounce back and take cloud out
  14. Black Leather Jacket

    Black Leather Jacket

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    I'd love to join my arms are too short and stubby.
  15. DM

    DM Ce soir, on va danser.
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    Jesus christ, I should stop going out on Friday nights.

    Hopefully I can be a draft pick next year.
  16. meddle

    meddle
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    9-9 fuck you DM
  17. DM

    DM Ce soir, on va danser.
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    Holy shit I didn't even know there was a poll.

    I shall wait and claim allegiance to the winner.
  18. Siphai

    Siphai

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    Do I win yet?
  19. Aeolus

    Aeolus Bag
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    I'm afraid Noobster makes the average adipose level on cloud's team unacceptable.

    Voted for the other guys.
  20. natalie

    natalie property of alex

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    voted chaos' team, simply because the arti description made me lol.

    and i will never vote for anything with batpig in it.
  21. Hazerider

    Hazerider

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    Voted chaos' team, not because of arti's description, but because of Carl's.
    I'm still laughing.
  22. Mekkah

    Mekkah
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    Voted chaos for all reasons stated above.
  23. dynamo

    dynamo

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    chaos' team have much better descriptions
  24. Atlas

    Atlas I'm the Mary!
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    voted chaos' team but i wanna change my vote after reading the descriptions. chaos' teams seems like they can do everything but throw ball...which is kinda important.
  25. QuickDraw

    QuickDraw

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    i bet chaos wins...he has a canadian nudist and a fat guy.... nobody can beat that combo from hell

    voted for chaos

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