[Standard] SANDS Mafia - Game Over! Winners: Rageguy Variants, Staraptor Call, Nachos

Yeti

dark saturday
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
all PMs in but one guy but his is irrelevant/deadline

You all awaken........................................
to the stench of something rotten.

Several men appear to be missing. You look about, expecting jigglypuffers42 to go on the hunt and vomit, but danmantincan points to the freshly-filled hole in the ground that contains her corpse.

Everyone fans out. Captain Bagman simply reclines about the Freeman's Land central square, waiting for some other sap to come across a dead body.

He takes a bit of a stroll while everyone is out and glances down an alleyway. There he sees the body of what can only be described as a flesh-devouring, deep-pigmented, horned cyclops.

"What in the world?!" The good Bagman exclaims. He shouts for everyone else to come quick.

The body of one macle lies in the alley, a short knife sticking out of his stomach. It appears macle was shanked, before someone urinated on his face.

Dear macle, you are the Purple People Eater

one eyed, one horned, flying, purple people eater one eyed one horned flying purple people eater one eyed, one horned, flying, purple people eater one eyed one horned flying purple people eater one eyed, one horned, flying, purple people eater one eyed one horned flying purple people eater one eyed, one horned, flying, purple people eater one eyed one horned flying purple people eater one eyed, one horned, flying, purple people eater one eyed one horned flying purple people eater one eyed, one horned, flying, purple people eater one eyed one horned flying purple people eater one eyed, one horned, flying, purple people eater one eyed one horned flying purple people eater

Every night, you may PM both hosts with "NX - See if USER is a person". You will see if that user is a human, also known as a delicacy. Should you get a positive result, you may PM both hosts with "DX - EAT DELICACY USER". You will eat that user, which will kill them.

You currently hold a Plane Ticket. <snip>.

You are allied with yourself. You need all the humans on factions dead: the Really Relevant People and the Really Bad Artists. Additionally, you need to kill three of them yourself. You have three kills maximum. Once you have accomplished this, you will be removed from the game.

Quote: I wanna get a job in a rock'n'roll band
Resounding cries of "what the <SNIP> is that??" arise from the crowd of onlookers.

Then it is quiet. You look uneasily about, curious as to what is wrong. King Emerald points out that Nook is not present.

You spread out, some looking in the houses, some in the abandoned buildings left behind when SANDS ACQUISITIONS, INC. was forced out of many of the sweatshops and illegal labor factories they owned, taking advantage of the third world countries and their starving children.

Eventually, someone comes across yet another pumpkin patch.

They find the body of one socially awkward dweeb with ADD.

"A fella.. what.." shade attempts to say, however he simply cannot find the words.

Crux tries to plant a bullet in his skull, shrieking through his tears, "OH MY GOD THEY KILLED LASSIE NOW THEY KILLED A MUPPET.......... WHY.. WHY??"

Luckily, Staraptor Call has the sense to yank the gun away from Crux, who seems to be heading down a suicidal path.

coolking49 blathers something in Indian, pointing wildly at the multitude of spilled Viagra pills, used but torn condoms, and empty bottles of whipped cream splayed around Nook's very ravaged body. Several vibrators rest against his back, one of which was never turned off and still buzzes.

You can almost hear jigglypuffers42 furiously vomiting.

It would appear that Nook was all too willing to have a good time last night, but something appears to have gone just too far. Now, the king prawn lies dead, in a cold, desolate pumpkin patch. His rectum is torn, bloodied, and trailing over now-rotting vines. Blood has dribbled down his head, however there is a mixed look of pleasure and extreme, fearful agony plastered on his now-still face.

It almost seems as though Nook had a night he's sure to burn in <snip> for willingly, before following it up with something a bit less pleasant.

"What the <snip> went on??" LifeAdmiral warily asks, not sure if he truly wants to know the answer.

Dear Nook, you are Pepe the King Prawn

You are Pepino Rodrigo Serrano Gonzales. Born in Madrid, you have been mistaken for an appetizer and are very proud to be the KING Prawn. You recall your days back in Madrid and despise the days when everyone called you a shrimp rather than a king prawn. Since SANDS remind you of beaches and humans, you much prefer to have the MUDS. And girls wrestling in MUDS, barely clothed, appeals to your interests.

Every night, you may PM both hosts with "NX - Taking USER for a great night out". Unbeknownst to everyone, you secretly have a drinking habit, and you love to get wasted with friends. After all, you're a king so anyone will be willing to go with you, but you select that user to go with you and get wasted together. Eventually, that will get so drunk that he/she will accidentally call you a shrimp and you will get into a barfight. The owner of the bar will throw you and that out, effectively preventing them from completing any night action. However, the bar owner will not permanently ban you and you may repeatedly do this action, even on the same user. In addition, you may PM both hosts with "DX - Being worshipped by USER1 and insulted by USER2". You are a king, and you're loaded. During the day, everyone will come to kiss up to you. The first user will worship you so much that he will be so shocked at the second user for calling you a jack<snip> that the first user will change his target to the second user.

You currently hold no item.

You are allied with the Copyright Jim Hensons. You win if the Copyright Jim Hensons eliminate all threats. Additionally, you must gain access to the MUDS, and each member still living must hold them.

Quote: I got good news! I got the fire permit, the health permit, the permit to open a topless nightclub, all the contracts...
Still, there is someone else missing.

You branch out again, traumatized by the horrifically homoerotic sight that is Nook's final moments on this SANDS-coated land.

Someone shouts they have found another body. Three deaths in one night? It seems to be true.

You all gather once again, in yet ANOTHER pumpkin patch. It seems the city of Freeman's Land was built in the middle of a pumpkin plantation.

Bunch of moron anti-SANDS, anti-MUDS fighters.

This man has been brutally thrashed. His eye sockets are sunk in and his legs are splayed wildly. Trailing behind him are his own feces, apparently excreted in his final moments of life.

As well as his torn rectum.

It appears Game Freak201 has also died of rough, violent, more than likely unsolicited and undesired anal sex.

Dear Game Freak201, you are Ke$ha

Do we need to explain why you are a bad artist? All your songs have the same poor autotuning, or just copy a good song and ruin it. Not to mention your lyrics are all trash and your voice should be a crime against intelligent life. Also, you think dental hygiene is sufficiently negated by large quantities of alcohol. Enjoy your dentures. You are in this game because Katy Perry on Sesame Street was better than anything you ever produced, and Lady Gaga is generally better. Because there is obviously sand in your <snip>, or you would be a better singer, you like SANDS. The more the merrier in regards to things up your <snip>.

Every night, you may PM both hosts with "NX - Take USER to a party at a rich dude's house". You will take that user to a party at a rich dude's house, and because rich dudes have good security, any kills attempted on them will not succeed. Additionally, once during the game, you may send in a PM during the day with "DX - Wake USER1 up in the mornin feelin like P USER2". You will make the first user believe they are the second user, and when the second user goes to be lynched, the first will take their place and die instead. USER1 is the user you want to be lynched, USER2 is the user who would have been lynched by majority otherwise. This is a lynch redirect and can only be done once. Additionally, every day you may PM both hosts with "DX - D I N O U S E R". You will spell poorly around that user while attempting to strip, causing them to blurt out their win condition(s) to you in shock.

You currently hold the Duel Disk System. <snip>

You are allied with the Really Bad Artists. You win if the Really Bad Artists eliminate all threats. Additionally, you must gain access to the SANDS, and each member still living must hold them.

Quote: I am cannibal.
When Nook doesn't speak up, Quagsires takes over his role as generally poorly timed, tasteless jokester.

"If he was Kesha, are you SURE it was against her wishes??"

This is what you have to ponder as you return to your huts, preparing to lynch.

With this turn of events, the Plane Ticket and Duel Disk System are now in the SANDS ARENA.

Additionally, the Copyright Jim Hensons have been eliminated from the game. All their members are dead.

Day Six has begun. It will end 1/14 4:00 PM PST, 48 hours from now, as always. We will be shortening Days to 24 hours probably Day Seven.

Get to lynching and PM. We missed one, but it was from a dead guy so it doesn't matter, good job on PMing for the most part.

All result PMs should be out, Snype sent them. If you want clarification ask us.
 

Yeti

dark saturday
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
treeline

You all gather around the tree of unwillingly expelled feces, snapped necks, and decaying flesh.

King Emerald decides to get the ball rolling and yells, "LYNCH CRUX ..he already wants to die."

As others gather to support him, Crux suddenly has a change of heart, and begs for a reason.

Perhaps he is searching for some deeper meaning in life as well.

Quagsires and Staraptor Call drag Crux to the tree, as shade prepares the noose.

Suddenly, a loud whoosh distracts you all. A man has appeared.



This individual seems to be willing to defy the odds and provide Crux with a better outcome for the day.

Crux is whisked out of harm's way, and you all stand around confused. With no jigglypuffers42 vomiting from some unsitely event, or Nook making a joke in poor taste, nobody really knows what to do.

So you all go home and let the day end.

Or so you think.

As everyone proceeds back into the residental district of Freeman's Land, they spot a van driving up.

Bagman dives into a dumpster to avoid being seen and peers out from under the lid.

The brightly-colored, flower power van skids to a stop a ways from you and the back door flies open. Out falls StevenSnype.

It seems he is back ! The van speeds off into the distance, this time taking nobody with it. You all run to Snype to see if he is alright.

He seems to be fine, however something has changed about him. There is a phrase tattooed on his forehead that was not there before.

"LN sucks".

"A fella's gotta agree," shade remarks, and with the successful return of a living, anti-LN Snype, you retire for the night.

It is now Night Six. Night Six will end 1/16 at 4PM PST. We were missing 1 Day PM (unless we just plain didn't see the PM). 48 hours to deadline.

The SANDS ARENA is still full of items for you all to gather.

I will be sending result PMs out, some Snype has written, some I need to write. PMs are all out. Contact me if you didn't get a PM but think you should have or want to confirm or whatever.
 

Yeti

dark saturday
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
killine

You all awaken as usual.

Gathering in the center of Freeman's Land, you look about. One man appears to be missing.

Everyone fans out, shade and Quagsires sticking close to the town to hunt through the houses while the rest of you go to the pumpkin patches.

Amazingly, nobody has had their rectum torn out from violent anal sex!

Everyone lets out a sigh of relief, before spotting Quagsires waving from someone's home.

Upon his wall are numerous charts and maps of plans. It seems he thought in great detail about how he would triumph.

But now, who knows if those will ever see the light.

You find shade staring at a dangling body, shaking his head and muttering that no fella should wind up this way.

Staraptor Call finds a video once again, left behind when the attacker fled, and though you cannot make out his face, you can see that over time, he wore down on King Emerald's reserve.

The man hanged himself after someone talked him into thinking it was okay.

Dear King Emerald, you are Scooby Doo

The cowardly Great Dane with a severe speech impediment, you love food. You drive around in a van with 4 kids who apparently graduated high school despite cross-country journeys solving mysteries. You know that despite their tendancy for girl/guy only rooms at the start of the night, things never stay that way, and you eventually left when you couldn't get any sleep over some kids moaning. Because you generally encounter creepier crap in swamps, IE quicksand, zombies, witches, and MUDS, you prefer beaches where there's giant crabs and ghost divers only, and SANDS, and would prefer a SANDS-only world.

Every night, you may PM both hosts with "NX - Running around a building you broke into with USER following". After breaking and entering, a trick you learned from your Mystery, Inc. days, that user will startle you, and as you run, they will give chase, preventing them from completing their night action. This is a hook, not a martyr. Additionally, every day you may PM both hosts with "DX - Snoop for USER's clues". You will snoop around that user's room after breaking in and take all the items in their possession, which you believe to be clues.

You currently hold the Sunglasses and <snip>. <snip>.

You are allied with the Commendable Canines. You win if the Commendable Canines eliminate all threats. Additionally, you must gain access to the SANDS, and each member still living must hold them.

Quote: Ruh Roh!
Crux attempts to process this information. His mind struggles to handle it, "What.. oh my.. I feel sick.. they killed Scooby.. THEY RAPED LASSIE AND THEY MADE SCOOBY HANG HIMSELF OH MY GOD I DON'T WANT TO LIVE!"

Crux's anguished cries fill the room as he pulls a small gun out of his pocket. Finger on the trigger, Life Admiral suddenly leaps into action, proclaiming, "PRO LIFE! PRO LIFE!! NEVER GIVE UP LIFE!"

This seems to subdue Crux's suicidal tendancies for the moment, and he meekly agrees to stop his attempted self-headshots.

You walk out mourning, upset that not only has Lassie been anally violated, but now Scooby Doo was talked into suicide as well.

The day has begun, and most of you quest vengeance. The tree with other dangling, decaying bodies is eager to support one more.

It is now Day Seven. Lynch and PM your actions, deadline is 1/18 4:00 PM PST. Days will be reduced soon.

The SANDS ARENA has a new addition: Sunglasses. This may be added to, Snype did most of the items and I am really not sure wtf KingE actually had anymore.

Result PMs going out as I write them. all PMs are out, mind whatever restrictions may be in them, begin your LYNCH, send us actions.
 

Crux

Banned deucer.
Lynch coolking49

Also, for those wondering, I'm still lynchproof, so you will have to wait until night to kill me. Sorry to let you down again guys :(
 

Yeti

dark saturday
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
ginganinja has been subbed in for LifeAdmiral by request.

24 hours left, we will be going to 24 hour cycles after this so be prepared for shorter deadlines !
missing a couple PMs, folks get em in
 
You guys realize I have absolutely no chance of winning right? Both my team mates just died and all I have is an inspect to my name. And by killing a faction you probably will end up causing a mass chain of victories and defeats, which you probably dont want. While theres not much time left can we try to lynch someone else?

lynch Quagsires
 

Yeti

dark saturday
is a Community Contributor Alumnus
lynchline

You all gather by the lynching tree. Piles of human excrement lie around it, underneath your hanged comrades.

Crux begins by calling for coolking49's death. He appears to have several supporters and they vote in favor of coolking49.

danmantincan dissents and votes Crux however nobody really agrees with him.

A challenger appears on the horizon. ginganinja, willing to defy his faction's crap playing in Other M, enters the fray. He soon agrees to bandwagon coolking49.

Must hate curries.

However there is no simpleton for him to persuade in this game. The men left are cunning and generally willing to bandwagon whoever gets voted first.

coolking49 rises up as his time on this Earth shortens. He screams angrily, "HOW CAN YOU LYNCH

"HOW CAN YOU LYNCH

"HOW CAN YOU LYNCH ME SUHS

"HOW CAN YOU LYNCH??"

But his cries fall on uncaring ears. He tries another approach: pointing out that by ending his faction's existence, mass quantities of wins could ensue.

Yeti rolls her eyes and informs him, "Yeah you wish. You prats killed all the neutrals who needed factions dead and there's still at least three more factions you know about."

It seems coolking49's demise has only led to the elimination of the Commendable Canines from the game.

Dear coolking49, you are Air Bud

The star of a cute children's movie that was milked for cash until the plotlines became too terrible, you are extremely athletic. A natural talent at physical stunts, you are sick and tired of the abuse your good name suffered at the hands of greedy executives who authorize bad sequels. These execs' wives enjoy coating their botox faces with <snip> MUDS in an attempt to reduce the wrinkles on their faces, so you would rather suffocate in the SANDS spilling from their <snip>s than take part in securing items that could beautify these golddiggers.

Every night, you may PM both hosts with "NX - Get the Yankees to pay off USER1 to vote USER2 MVP". You will use your influence in the sports world as one of the greatest atheletes to gain access to the Yankees' seemingly infinite bank accounts. The Yankees will give the first user great sums of money in exchange for a vote in the lynch for the second user, thinking they will win MVP instead of a death sentence. Additionally, every day you may PM both hosts with "DX - Send in the scouts on USER". Because your sports talent is so notable, you will get the talent scouts and agents to look in on that user, gaining their Role PM. This will include their item name, but not its function.

You currently hold no item.

You are allied with the Commendable Canines. You win if the Commendable Canines eliminate all threats. Additionally, you must gain access to the SANDS, and each member still living must hold them.

Quote: BARK.
And so hangs Air Bud, the fair Golden Retriever. A cry of anger rises up from Fantasy Football fans and the Yankees. You killed their gd star player.

Crux realizes what he has done. He personally began the lynch on the final dog. Lassie was raped. Scooby Doo was convinced to hang himself. Air Bud was hanged by the people of Freeman's Land.

"Oh.. my God.... I did this. I made him die. I killed him. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE," Crux screams, and he falls to the floor, furiously sobbing. You all made sure to keep dangerous weapons away from him, so though he tries to bash his head against the ground, he cannot finally commit suicide.

"A fella shouldn't treat an animal like that," shade remarks, before shrugging and leading everyone away from the lynching tree.

The SANDS ARENA still has items.

StevenSnype is sending PMs while drunk. All your drunken results are now out.

The Commendable Canines have been eliminated from this game. Though this fulfills half of billymills' WC, you prats didn't lynch him, so he doesn't win :C

It is now Night Seven. Night Seven will end 1/19/11 at 4:00 PM. The deadline is TWENTY FOUR HOURS now because 2 factions are gone. Mind that. Send all PMs, we had them all today so good job guys.
 

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