Story I'm working on, mayeb not the right forum

I'm writing a story on a fantasy restaraunt, following the accounts of a waiter named Alex Dendero who tends the tables there. I'm hoping to hone my skills as a writer and I'm taking inspiration from people such as Hemmingway or even Rowling

In this particular restaurant, the only guests are the musicans and musical groups on my iPod. Everybody who I really love, who I imagine all meeting each other and sharing dinner, in various dining rooms such as one dining room in a dark aquarium-like space, with fishtanks everywhere. Artists dead and alive are here. Jimi Hendrix shares stories with rappers like Ludacris and Eminem, etc.

If you read my story, thanks, I'm open to all criticism. I haven't written for a while and really want to get back into it, as said

this is probably the wrong forum! Sorry guys



I apologize also for not writing a proper introduction, I'm bad with those but fine with the body of writing papers....with a little help from my friends I'll come up with a good introduction. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense either, I've really only got the basic idea for the story, which is one I fell in love with. All my favorite artists meeting and sharing stories together, in a cool funky restaurant. I suppose there had to be some sort of character development though so I've offered the main character, and his ex-girl, and maybe some other minor characters; it might get confusing since I'm constantly introducing musicians.....

be harsh! I haven't tried writing since like 7th grade and it was very fun, I need some criticism from you writers, I know Smogon's got a lot of great ones with all the magic that happens in Firebot lmao


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Sorry, I really have no idea how to properly copy/paste a Word document into the forum, so here's the link for the story

http://www.scribd.com/doc/45714078/Fishes-2

It might be better to just download the document into Word, since Scribd kind of messes up the font and lettering, but if you think I'm a hacker or something you don't have to = )
 

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