Struggling with depression

[flargananddingle]

Are you medicated Gangnam Style ? I only ask because you say you've relapsed into depression, but if you are medicated it's very possible you need a change as apathy can become pretty common once you're acclimated to a medication (and it basically stops working for you).

Everyone saying see a Dr is right on, as are the people saying that losing weight will help you with all of your problems.

I'm in about the same boat as you, just add in very severe anxiety...earlier in my life drugs were the answer (not advocating obviously), but I overcame that and I'll tell you what, it feels harder to cope than ever sometimes.

I hope what I'm about to say doesn't sound flippant or dismissive, because I honestly do know where you're coming from but sometimes the best answer is just:
get the hell up and do something. Anything.

There are times, when dealing with depression, that the simple act of checking the mail seems daunting, even painful. But just getting up and doing it makes me feel better in the end. It's not a cure, and to reiterate you should definitely see a doctor, but find small things that can make you feel like you're accomplishing something.
It's not easy. It's not fun. But in the end sometimes even the change in perspective (re: on the couch vs outside your front door) can do wonders for your well being.

 

[OLD GREGG (im back baby)]

I've never really had a lasting depression, when my life has been bad or good it has been just that.

The bad times fucking suck ass, like when I was a teenager and my drunk crazy mother was convinced I had a hidden cache of alcohol, which I wasn't even old enough to buy, stashed in my closet so she beat on my bedroom door late in the night until I about lost it.

Shit like that was frequent and I guess you could say I had a pretty fucked up childhood. Mom was drunk every night, dad was a heavy drug addict and only came around when he wanted something. Majority of both sides of family was on some sort of substance be it prescription or illegal. A lot of my family members I grew up around are dead. A lot of overdoses.

The world is FUCKED UP.
^this is fact

The men with the power are usually the last people who should wield control of anything. The people who are tired of business as usual are too divided to make any real change. This world must perish before a new world can be born.

So my advice to you Rodan is:
eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow is not promised.
Don't dwell on negativity. If you want to lose weight then try!!

The outcome will always be directly proportional to the amount of effort you commit toward results!
Same statement goes for your depression.
If you really want to kick depression's ass, then don't hold back.
Take control and believe in yourself man. There is no reason why you shouldn't be able to accomplish these things as long as you stay determined and work hard toward results.

Nothing to it but to do it man.

 

[Ullar]

having struggled with suicide in the past, i find the best medicine for depression is honesty. i admit, i lied to my second therapist for a time, and somehow convinced him i was perfectly alright. i guess that was because i didn't really want to open myself up to anyone. when i came to terms with it, and was honest with people regarding my state of mind, i started down the long road to being better.

of course, now I'm a brutally honest prick, so take that as you will. but in all seriousness, being honest with yourself and others is what really helped me. gl Gangnam Style or RODAN or whatever, knowing you I'm sure you'll bounce back.

 

[Martin]

I'm sorry to hear this dude. You're a genuinely nice guy, so it sucks that you're having to go through crap like this.

I'm fortunate in that I've avoided major depression, but I have gone through a stage of extreme apethy over the past 2-ish years that I'm starting to slowly work my way out of - so I may be able to help in that regard. What made me notice that I'd been apathetic was when I had a sort of welling joy that I hadn't once felt in two years, and it came from trying something new and through improving my irl social patterns. Therefore, by comparing your situation to mine and substituting the circumstances, I'd say the best initial course of action for you for now is to try and get in shape so that you can feel confident enough to leave the house on a more. If you've got stairs in your house, try just walking up and down them for ten minutes every day until you notice an improvement and then try extending it to fifteen, twenty and so on, and if you don't have any stairs just spend the same time intervals doing step-ups on either your doorstep or on a low platform (maybe 0.5-0.75x the height of a dining chair) for the same effect. It won't work overnight, but eventually you will notice an improvement.

I was very much a shut-in before I noticed that I was apathetic, which means that in that respect our circumstances were similar. Due to this, I suspect that there may also be a link to vitamin D defficiency--so I suggest taking vitamin D supplements while you're shaping up (as well as vitamin C for good measure) to ensure that you are getting enough of it to compensate for not going outdoors. If you have a front/back garden or roof access, maybe consider going out on a sunny day and spending the afternoon sunbathing--or even just sleeping--as this is a great way to get more vitamin D.

I also said that trying new things has helped. Therefore, do just that: try something you wouldn't normally do. This could be something like picking up drawing, learning about another culture, learning a language or anything else that you feel fit to do in your current mental and/or physical state, so use your imagination a bit on this one.

When you feel ready to go outdoors, try contacting a high school friend or, failing that, a nearby smogonite or something who you could meet up with to grab a bite to eat or something and try and have them introduce you to some of their friends. Social interactions offline and outside of your direct family are important, so the ability to meet up with people will be valuable.

I'm sorry that I can't really help all that much. I hope what I said is at least a little helpful, and best of luck getting through this.

 

[Gabe]

Hi Rodan.

When I was 14 I saw my best friend die in one of the most horrific ways that a person can. He got sucked into a train, and without going into detail it was a very bloody day. This, coupled with the fact that my peers at school regarded me as "messed up" in combination with my own self-image problems (my family lost our home too) led to a very serious and deep depression.

I attempted killing myself several times. Sometimes I wanted to die because I just didn't think the feeling could ever be anything different - that I was stuck that way.

I could never shake the feeling that I couldn't do that to my family and especially my mom for all that she gave me. I did therapy, and it helped but we couldn't always afford it. I cried every day for a little over a year. I cried and cried til I simply got sick of crying. One day I decided to just fight back. I wanted my life back, I wanted so much more out of life than the bullshit that it was. I made changes to put myself in a position where I was more content. I would "relapse", but after a seven year battle with depression I was at a point where I could no longer say I was depressed. And that remains true to this day. It's been four years.

You can win this fight. You are stronger than you think and you are heroic for fighting this. Just making this thread is an act of strength. Being honest shows your strength.

Make changes in your life. Drastically or slowly, you have to make those changes if you're unhappy with your life. Eat smaller portions, start jogging. Branch out and meet people. There's so much more to this than what you've seen so far. You got this.

 

[iPRODiGY VGC]

So I read through this tread earlier and decided to come back just because I feel like I can relate to some of this. I've been feeling pretty void of emotion for a while now. I got fired from my job today. Didn't even care. Pretty hot coworker who has been hitting on me asked me on a date. Didn't even care. I wouldn't say I feel depressed. I'm not sad, just.... Hazy I guess.

Up until today, I had a pretty good job for someone my age. And I was pretty good at it. I busted my ass every day. The store manager was never really a close friend of mine. I only saw him about once a week. Apparently he thinks I have a serious drug problem (I do kind of look like someone who would. I'm pretty damn skinny. And I've got long hair), but instead of talking to me about it, he fired me. Well actually I quit. He got loud, I got loud, some pretty irreparable statements were thrown back and forth, and I quit.

My previous girlfriend of about 6 months noticed my lack of emotion a few weeks ago and broke up with me, after trying to pry what the problem was out of me unsuccessfully for a few days. I don't even know. And I still didn't feel anything. I don't think its really a problem. Its not like I feel depressed.

Anyways, feels good to vent. I wouldnt say I have a negative outlook. Shit happens. I've never been one to wallow. Life throws some crazy stuff at you sometimes. The job I had will still look pretty good on my resume. The only one that kind of sucks is my Girlfriend. Or I guess ex girlfriend now. I haven't even tried to get a hold of her. She's been texting me. Just don't feel like investing the time right now. Ah well, like I said, life isn't fair sometimes. Also:

Hi Rodan.

When I was 14 I saw my best friend die in one of the most horrific ways that a person can. He got sucked into a train, and without going into detail it was a very bloody day. This, coupled with the fact that my peers at school regarded me as "messed up" in combination with my own self-image problems (my family lost our home too) led to a very serious and deep depression.

I attempted killing myself several times. Sometimes I wanted to die because I just didn't think the feeling could ever be anything different - that I was stuck that way.

I could never shake the feeling that I couldn't do that to my family and especially my mom for all that she gave me. I did therapy, and it helped but we couldn't always afford it. I cried every day for a little over a year. I cried and cried til I simply got sick of crying. One day I decided to just fight back. I wanted my life back, I wanted so much more out of life than the bullshit that it was. I made changes to put myself in a position where I was more content. I would "relapse", but after a seven year battle with depression I was at a point where I could no longer say I was depressed. And that remains true to this day. It's been four years.

You can win this fight. You are stronger than you think and you are heroic for fighting this. Just making this thread is an act of strength. Being honest shows your strength.

Make changes in your life. Drastically or slowly, you have to make those changes if you're unhappy with your life. Eat smaller portions, start jogging. Branch out and meet people. There's so much more to this than what you've seen so far. You got this.

You are one hell of a person. I went through a similar thing (other then attempting suicide) with my Dad. Luckily we have decent social services where I live, so I got help we wouldn't have otherwise been able to afford. Also I have an amazing mother, which probably helped a ton. Its tough at first, but it definitely gets easier.

 

[Cresselia~~]

My mum used to be abusive and I used to be bullief for playing Pokemon.
My boyfriend also had depression, but he is now recovered after taking medication.


I have been on medication for more than 10 years now.
No signs of recovering though.

It also greatly affected my studies. I didn't graduate from any degrees.
I don't really know what job I can have, because I can't work full time.
I'm sort of a freelance illustrator, but what I've been earning was negligible.
I'm not being useful to society at all.

I don't know why I am not recovering. I don't understand.
My boyfriend recovered shortly after he went on medication.
He also scored good grades while he was on medication, which I did not.


Some people can still complete their studies when they are on medication, and go to work like nothing's wrong.

(mine's not depression though)


Maybe it is easier to recover from depression than what I'm having now.

I guess medication works on some people but not the others

 

[Gabe]

My mum used to be abusive and I used to be bullief for playing Pokemon.
My boyfriend also had depression, but he is now recovered after taking medication.


I have been on medication for more than 10 years now.
No signs of recovering though.

It also greatly affected my studies. I didn't graduate from any degrees.
I don't really know what job I can have, because I can't work full time.
I'm sort of a freelance illustrator, but what I've been earning was negligible.
I'm not being useful to society at all.

I don't know why I am not recovering. I don't understand.
My boyfriend recovered shortly after he went on medication.
He also scored good grades while he was on medication, which I did not.


Some people can still complete their studies when they are on medication, and go to work like nothing's wrong.

(mine's not depression though)


Maybe it is easier to recover from depression than what I'm having now.

I guess medication works on some people but not the others

Maybe other ways of treatment will work better if medication is not? During the 7 years of my battle with depression, I didn't take any meds. I don't know what will work for you but I do know that you should always seek different opinions/options when it comes to things like this especially if something isn't working.

 

[jumpluff]

Medications don't do the trick for everyone, plus there's a fairly wild variety of antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication out there and it varies from person to person what will work for them, so it may be that you have not found an effective medication for you. Other people need therapy or a combination of therapy + meds. Backing the urge for a second opinion, I really hope you can find something that helps you, Cresselia~~. It's not a reflection on you that other people can take meds and complete their studies because that's just what happened to work for them, and I think a lot of people hide how much they struggle with their studies as a result of depression and anxiety as well. Pretty much everyone I know does, actually. x_x; By struggle I don't just mean 'find hard', but 'suffer immensely more because of school'

(edit: on that note there are a lot of different types of therapies too, and therapists, being people, suit some people more than others. I could pretty much tier list the therapists I've had but it wouldn't matter because other people would report differing experiences with those same people. I've done better with DBT than CBT but that's because of my own MH profile. So I really encourage people to look for and seek advice from professionals etc. on what might be best suited for them, and not to be afraid to look for a new treatment if they genuinely believe they can't move forward after trying one)

 

[Cheryl.]

Stay strong. I also suffer from depression, but I've found peace in therapy, some medication, and doing calming things like destroying For Glory on Smash Bros.

 

[Cresselia~~]

Medications don't do the trick for everyone, plus there's a fairly wild variety of antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication out there and it varies from person to person what will work for them, so it may be that you have not found an effective medication for you. Other people need therapy or a combination of therapy + meds. Backing the urge for a second opinion, I really hope you can find something that helps you, Cresselia~~. It's not a reflection on you that other people can take meds and complete their studies because that's just what happened to work for them, and I think a lot of people hide how much they struggle with their studies as a result of depression and anxiety as well. Pretty much everyone I know does, actually. x_x; By struggle I don't just mean 'find hard', but 'suffer immensely more because of school'

(edit: on that note there are a lot of different types of therapies too, and therapists, being people, suit some people more than others. I could pretty much tier list the therapists I've had but it wouldn't matter because other people would report differing experiences with those same people. I've done better with DBT than CBT but that's because of my own MH profile. So I really encourage people to look for and seek advice from professionals etc. on what might be best suited for them, and not to be afraid to look for a new treatment if they genuinely believe they can't move forward after trying one)

I think the main problem is having a (physically) abusive parent, and there's nothing I can do about it apart from choosing not to live with her.
She still refuse to admit she's wrong, and claims that white children are being spoiled, and that white children are simply not as competitive as Asian children because their parents never beat them up or force them to do anything.

I don't think therapy can sort that out.

PS: It was legal to hit children in Hong Kong out of disciplining children.

 

[bb skarm]

OK it's time for me to not shitpost.

The first thing you need to do is properly assess the situation. Right now (assuming still right now given you haven't given a response fully) you're rambling on a ton of shit: you don't have friends, you're fat, you're scared of dying because of your fatness (this is actually incredibly rational and happens to many obese/out of shape people), you're home-bound. So essentially you want to solve one problem at a time. Right now, it seems being fat is the root of all evil for you as it has caused you to not want to leave the house which subsequently stops you from wanting to socialize. With this given you want to lose some weight or feel better about your body.

I hope this doesn't sound too weird but I can give legitimate advice about losing weight as I am a wrestler and know how to legitimately cut some pounds off my body permanently (I went from being 5'7" weighing 145 to 5'8" weighing 132). There's a difference between gaining muscle and losing weight but when you lose more we can focus on gaining muscle. So primarily there is one thing I can tell you straight off the bat: do NOT do any weight loss programs or any "health food" meal recipes. That shit rarely works at a consistent rate and you don't wanna lose 10 pounds in a damn year. These people only want to make money and not help you lose weight. Instead, pay more attention to not completely overhauling your diet, but catering some meals you enjoy to your health needs. For instance, I LOVE steak and grilled chicken. Grilled chicken or steak with a side of sweet potato fries is a very tasty meal that is also incredibly healthy for you. I lost 5 pounds in a WEEK eating this meal all 7 days. Chicken doesn't sell at high rates and it's really easy to grill it too. Steak is a more expensive but tasty option on days when you kinda feel like you wanna eat something tastier. Sweet potato in general is great for you body and is really really tasty.. Do you see where I'm getting at? Eating healthy is not always stuffing 4 cauliflower up your ass and calling it a day. It's taking something relatively healthy and tasty and substituting the shit for health alternatives. Hamburgers? Turkey burgers with wheat bread and lettuce. Breakfast? Scrambled eggs with oatmeal. YOU can make the change. Yes, eating healthy right now seems to be the best course of action to making you feel better and it does make you want to die at times but it is actually a lot quicker than you think. You can lose 15 pounds in a month if you have ONE plate of a healthy meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It's a process and you NEED to accept this before you go on with anything. 15 pounds in a month will make you look immediately better just like that. Just whenever you see a plate of food, try your best to minimize carbs and substitute the shit for more healthy albeit less tasty stuff. It sucks but I promise you will lose weight sooooo fast if you do nothing but think just a little more about what you eat.

Socializing also seems to be a whim for you. DESPITE all I've written above weight will not always matter. People are observant and obviously know you're probably fat. But if someone brushes you away because you look like a bowling ball then you don't want to be talking to them anyway. I've always been incredibly social and hang out with many different people outside of school etc. but like above it is indeed a process and it took time to get where I am now. A lot of my friends are somewhat recent as well and it takes a bit to begin fitting in with other people. First things first: leave your parents house. Like, finish reading my post and go for a walk. Just socialize. Say hi to a couple of people. Many people and young men like you hang around parks (no, not rapists) and you could definitely see a bit through with them. Let me tell you from experience: people WANT to talk to you. I can't tell you how many times I've just taken a seat with someone and started talking to them. People will enjoy your company if you actually communicate. Talk about your interests but give some room for them to talk. The best way to make friends is to compare interests. If you like hiking, video games, whatever and they like it as well, put it up as an activity you can do with them. It's a damn process. You need to learn that no one is going to immediately brush away from you like swiping off on tinder. It's all about being calm and collected and interacting slowly with others.

Right now your depression seems to be a root of these two things (antisocialism and being fat). Try working on losing some weight first, and when you feel like you're a little more comfortable with your body, try going out some more and talking to people. People want to know you. Just take baby steps and come to for advice. We're all behind you man. You got this.

 

[Hipmonlee]

Congrats on 7k man.

I dont have much to add to the advice you've been given already. Just wanted to wish you well.

Have a nice day.

 

[Jordanious]

Hurts to hear such things, depression is my enemy also, and I heavily analyze this plague of thought. ppl see psychiatrists for this but I urge you(well for now) to stop and analyze these causes, and the "heart of the matter". What is the actual reason you don't have as much outside communication? What hidden truths are triggering your loss of interest? Is their a general burdening lie that's standing in the way of your life? Talking to someone is one thing and talking to yourself is completely separate I think. That's what I try and do even if I still fall victim to depression. Still, the moment we give up on hope is when we lose every bit of reason to live at all.
Something like that

 

[Stratos]

ive been struggling with depression for a few years now and today my good friend xenu finally convinced me to seek help. i figured id post the important logs from the conversation here because i doubt im the only one who feels this way.

13:52 xenu: depression is unequivocally a progressive illness
13:52 xenu: you might come up for air fairly often — i know i do — but in the longer trajectory you’re going deeper and deeper
13:53 xenu: and then suddenly the days where you dont feel anything at all are the happy ones
13:53 xenu: and every time you think you’ve hit rock bottom, surprise
13:54 xenu: i was ‘melancholy’ at 17, depressed at 18, suicidal at 19 and actively suicidal at 20
13:54 xenu: and every time i thought, well, it can’t get any worse
13:54 xenu: turns out its not so simple
14:05 Stratos: i honestly cant thank u enough for this advice
14:05 Stratos: because its so true
14:06 Stratos: every time i laugh at something or smile i think "maybe im not actually depressed im just a kid with highly volatile mood who likes to sensationalize and wants that brooding aesthetic"
14:06 xenu: yeahhhh lol iktf exactly
14:18 xenu|phone: My advice is to not doubt/second guess yourself because then at least i tend to downplay my symptoms out of self doubt and don't really get a satisfactory clinical response
14:19 Stratos: yeah i feel that way too
14:19 Stratos: re downplaying the symptoms
14:19 Stratos: like i said earlier
14:20 Stratos: i always feel like im exaggerating my own misery bc i have a flair for the dramatic and im actually just being a retard
14:20 xenu|phone: Yea more often than not that's just the depression talking

When I was in high school, I had been told that depression was a complete inability to feel happy. I took that to heart, which led to me ignoring my own symptoms for years. It actually got to the point where I dreaded being happy because I was absolutely miserable and I wanted to seek help but if I could still feel happy then obviously I wasn't depressed so there was nothing to seek help about. Even if I described it to other people as depression because it felt like depression, I was always telling myself that I wasn't really depressed and that I was just being a big baby and needed to get over it. What xenu said today let me know that even if i feel a little happy for an instant here or there, if at the end of the day I'm always miserable then I can still be depressed, and I'm actually crying right now as it sinks in that I don't have to deal with this on my own anymore. I've wanted to post in this thread for a while but because I misunderstood depression, I kept telling myself no youre not really depressed stop being a bitch about it. Well today is the day that I've truly accepted I actually have a problem and it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

So I guess what I'm saying is if you've been miserable for a long time, don't doubt yourself and second-guess yourself and say you're just overdramatizing it like I did.

 

[billymills]

I think that depression affects different people differently. I haven't really noticed a progression or trajectory, but that doesn't really mean I'm not depressed. Don't focus on one specific detail or symptom. If you think seeking help might be useful, then do it.

 

[jumpluff]

I find for me that it's very chronic but escalates very easily during crisis periods. What has happened though, and this is partly because I have other mental illnesses, is that I flip from being perfectly cheerful to wanting to die; I have reached a point where my mental illnesses have polarised my moods from 'cheerful' to 'suicidal', I don't just feel sadness anymore, but also it's a product of neural learning; suicidal ideation is a pathway my brain has made instinctive as a coping mechanism, as a thought of escape, and I have to actively fight it as a reaction to distress. I would say I have been at the same constant level of depression since 15, but all my comorbid mental illnesses, a bunch of which I picked up as a result of spending years depressed and consequently alone, have combined since then to make me barely mentally functional at 22. I agree that it affects people differently, but in either case, a likely scenario is that it just goes on chronically and another likely scenario is that it gets progressively worse (especially if your level of functioning drops, which causes a chain reaction with itself), neither of which is desirable. I may be slightly desensitised to depression itself though, I don't remember what feeling consistently, non-precariously happy is like, 12 years in (see in my head it's just 'a decade' now, I stopped counting until I just manually checked then) so it likely has become progressive in that sense.

Depression isn't rare or anything, the odds are you're not overdramatising it (even as a teenager—teen angst is a common way to downplay depression experienced as a teenager, it's not suddenly any more bearable because you're in high school, a common place for depression to start for the first time), if you really feel bad it needs to be evaluated no matter what you call it. Also definitely don't downplay it in front of doctors, they will take you at face value. They've definitely seen someone lower-functioning than you so it's not like you're going to shock them, but in general try not to abstract yourself from or intellectualise your feelings in front of doctors (a common escape mechanism), xenu is right, you'll get a more helpful response (even though it's dumb).

I'm really glad that acknowledging where you are is cathartic for you Stratos and I hope the journey to get better will be very fruitful for you.

 

[Cresselia~~]

I have another condition that gives me occasional depression episodes.
So one day, I can be very happy; but another day, I can be really depressed for absolutely no reason.
And sometimes, I have episodes in that I can feel very scared with no rational reasons.
It seems that I am getting a small glimpse of everything, and they take turns.

I find that I usually get depressed when it is raining or when it is about to rain. I guess it's the humidity of the air that makes me feel that, rather than the sunlight.
And I sometimes think about self harm/ suicidal when it's raining.

Another thing I've found is, if my boyfriend is with me, then I don't have suicidal/ self harm thoughts.
My boyfriend suffered from major depression, and he said that he stopped thinking about those after knowing me.

I don't necessarily think it has to be a romantic relationship-- we were very good friends before we started a relationship.
We had a very similar past, and we often think in the same way.
We both have Asperger's, and we both like Pokemon, and we are both Christians, and we both were gifted students (we were both offered to skip a year when we were little), we both love to play games, and we both hate our parents, and we were both bullied by schoolmates, called nerd and .... etc
We also share a large group of friends that we got to know from playing Pokemon. (We all met in tournaments, and since then, we began having barbeque trips or bike trips together) This large group of friends are very close to each other. Maybe meet up once every month.

I think the key is to find someone who understands you. Someone with a similar past, and with similar interests.
I'm sure you will find someone like this off the internet because there are just so many of these people on the internet.
I think it's easier to talk to someone about your problems if you have similar experiences-- because an outsider will not necessarily understand what it's like.
It just feels way better if someone else had a similar experience-- when you know that you are not alone.

Anyway, try to be active.
I know that World Championships are in USA nearly every year, including this year.
You don't necessarily have to be representing your country or a staff to go to World's.
By all means, go there and meet people there.
Or at least, go to the nearest league.
There is a high chance that people who play Pokemon are the same type of people as you.

 

[Mr.E]

a shitpost so nice I should've posted it here instead of the Falling In Love thread; consider it a follow-up to my original post

http://www.smogon.com/forums/threads/falling-in-love.3548518/page-4#post-6746202

Do check it out, as I rather ramble onto stuff that sorta segues into my current bout of "depression" more so than talk explicitly of romance and/or sex.

At any rate, how do I manage to continue rolling out of bed every fucking day and putting up with the whole charade? I try to do my job to the best of my abilities, I try to be a fair and honest and respectful person, I continue to seek out job opportunities even if I never have any luck with them. (I don't try very hard to socialize and find love though. *ahem*) I keep trying. And I keep trying to keep my self-confidence up, knowing that I continue to try improving elsewhere and my circumstances are not my fault but merely happenstance. If I gave up, I couldn't respect myself anymore, but I haven't given up through all the shit I've put up with in life and I deserve a fucking pat on the back for that. That's why I'm fucking awesome.

I have no serious hope that things will ever get better, but maybe someday they will and I'm determined not to throw in the towel in case they do. If nothing else, someday I'll be old enough to retire and have more free time to pursue activities to numb the pain of being forever alone. (After working for 900 years, the pain of being an underemployed wage slave will naturally disappear!) Even if I never succeed, I will also never fail.

 

[Twisted Kneebar]

If you know what it is making you depressed and know how to solve it and have the means to solve it, do that. If not, seek professional help. You seem to have become morbidly obese to the point where you can't just solve the weight issue on your own, since your body is so far gone. You're going to have to seek treatment for that. If it is more than just your weight, I'd say seek a (good) psychologist and discuss it with them. It seems you've probably been there before though.

 

[Twisted Kneebar]

The outcome will always be directly proportional to the amount of effort you commit toward results!
Same statement goes for your depression.
If you really want to kick depression's ass, then don't hold back.
Take control and believe in yourself man. There is no reason why you shouldn't be able to accomplish these things as long as you stay determined and work hard toward results.

Nothing to it but to do it man.

The thing is, even though you're correct here, I used to despise advice like this. A lot of people don't have the skills to do that. I am seeing a psychologist and my thing is that I had a pretty fucked up life with very little guidance and no one to teach me anything. But at the same time, I was coddled so everything was done for me. Then I become a man and am expected to behave like one. But I have no idea how to because I was not taught how to be one and I was largely kept away from having experiences that would help me act like one.

I wanted to improve my life but I couldn't. I wouldn't know where to start. The majority of my therapy has been simply to learn life skills, since I was mainly depressed at what a failure I was. I feel so much better now but I am not completely out of it yet because, well, old habits die hard.

So TL;DR: Most people are aware that they have to tackle their problems but many genuinely do not know how to tackle it. So they're forced to avoid it and it just gets worse and worse. These people need professional help.

 

[Stratos]

i hate myself so fucking much

 

[eden]

I think this is something that I can actually talk about really easily funnily enough. I have struggled with weight problems, as well as depression to an extent so I can at least share how I'm trying to change things. I basically was uncomfortably in my own skin, for most of elementary and middle school, I was an overweight nerd for the most part. I went to boarding school for my last two years, and basically was forced to change things up, my junk food habits were forced to go, I had to interact with more people irl, I was forced to lose weight just to be comfortable with the people around me. I was depressed all the while though, because I was basically in a prep school for entrance examinations. I used to get really disheartened at every time I did terribly or failed or w/e. I basically stopped studying at one point because I figured it wouldn't serve any purpose. But slowly I eased myself back into it, and every little bit I did felt like a weight was being lifted off of my shoulders. Every time I'd do a little better I'd reward myself, I eventually stopped being depressed because I was doing exactly what was expected of me. I lost weight, I was studying but now it was because I wanted to. I lost weight in a really difficult way, but I was really determined to go from like 120 kg to something less, I'm like 80-ish kgs or so now. I basically restricted myself to only juices, and cut soda from my diet except one day a week; and started playing a few sports regularly, initially it was terrible and I felt uncomfortable around others, but I grew out of it. If not a sport some sort of light exercise is necessary man; junk food is probably the biggest problem, along with cravings.

The point here being, if things are bad as they are, then you have to find some way to break out of that rut. Because if you continue things can only get worse. You don't have to make huge steps forward, but the little things matter man. Clamping down on your food habits, will make you ge thinner, which will make you become more comfortable and so on; its a slow process, but after going through it, I can honestly say I feel much better now. Depression is a terrible thing and its sometimes taken too lightly, and a psych eval/doctor to help you through this is also pretty critical.

Its actually really difficult to do all of this by yourself, so having friends/family who'll support you through this is amazing. Because sometimes even though you know its for your own good, you just falter and slip up because its really difficult to break set habits; but hopefully you can take any trouble in your stride and pull though. Chin up man.

 

[jrp]

I can understand the sentiment of using IRC and the forums as a crutch to lean on during particularly bad times, because I went through the same thing in 2013. That was a point in my life where I was struggling with a bunch of things (starting to come to terms with the fact that I was gay along with the fact that I had no drive to do anything with college, and was told to "man up" by my parents when I asked to take the semester off) being the main issues.

Even still, I'm not exactly "happy" with things, but my life has become a lot better. Coming out as gay helped a lot of things, although I'm still not 100% on board with it, but the friends that I've made in these past couple years have been some of the best people in the world for me.

Finding friends is really something that can help with this thing. Having people that you can vent to when things get bad is an incredibly valuable resource. Don't discount the relationships you've made online, but there's something to be said about being able to sit down with someone in the room and talk.


For me, the main source of my discontent with myself is the fact that even though pretty much everyone around me accepts me for who I am, I'm still having issues doing it for myself.

As far as weight goes, I'm not exactly fat, but I'm trying to lose some weight at the moment. Try getting yourself into a routine where you eat your daily meals and nothing else. Don't let yourself snack on things, because that's where a lot of calorie intake comes from (for me at least).

If you drink a lot of soda, try drinking water instead of it.

Go for walks a couple times during the day. If you have access to exercise equipment or weights, try using them. Muscle burns fat faster than simply burning it off through cutting food.