I am really posting this for posterity, to save it somewhere in case I rage again and delete all my teams and because I feel my RSE UU teams and ideas could be my only claim to fame in my almost seven years of Pokemon career. This team was inspired by shrapn3l's offensive RSE UU team and the concept of suicide leads, which comes from DPP. Glalie (M) @ Salac Berry Trait: Inner Focus EVs: 138 HP / 232 Def / 140 Spd Impish Nature (+Def, -SAtk) - Endure - Explosion - Spikes - Taunt Glalie has a quirky stat distribution (whoever decided to make this the "balanced stats pokemon"), awful typing and not much more. But it gets spikes, so I decided to make it feasible. This set combines everything Glalie can stand for: Spikes, Explosion and a good use of its stats - survives stuff like two max attack Kangaskhan D-E's and can reach 340 speed with Salac (faster than timid Electabuzz). This pretty much guarantees at least two layers of Spikes. Three would be prime. Starting with a couple of Spikes and an opponent dead to Explosion is excellent. Taunt is there so nobody can feel smart and attempt to set up on you. Nidoking (M) @ Leftovers Trait: Poison Point EVs: 252 Atk / 252 Spd / 4 SAtk Naive Nature (+Spd, -SDef) - Earthquake - Fire Blast - Ice Beam - Megahorn Nidoking usually crushes everything, with Spikes support it is easier to get past Water types. Also sports a nice number of resistances and immunities (Fighting, Rock, Electric) that make it a handy switch in. Banette (F) @ Salac Berry Trait: Insomnia EVs: 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spd Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk) - Destiny Bond - Endure - Shadow Ball - Will-O-Wisp Banette is key to my team's chances against stallers because it blocks Rapid Spin. Now, having a suicidal spin blocker might not sound like the best idea, but usually I only need to switch in once. Say, Blastoise gets in on Nidoking, I go to Banette to block its spin (doesn't matter if I get surfed), burn it or hurt it with Shadow Ball, then go to Electabuzz. Now Blastoise is at best at half health and needs to switch out. If it wants to come in again it will take more spikes damage and lose to everything else in my team. Gligar (F) @ Leftovers Trait: Hyper Cutter EVs: 156 HP / 252 Atk / 100 Spd Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk) - Earthquake - Hidden Power [Flying] - Quick Attack - Swords Dance This usually works like a second Nidoking, but it has Swords Dance so sweeping is easier. It also has a very necessary Ground immunity. Grumpig (M) @ Leftovers Trait: Thick Fat EVs: 252 HP / 16 Spd / 240 SDef Calm Nature (+SDef, -Atk) - Calm Mind - Psychic - Rest - Sleep Talk This guy is here so I have something to fall back on when they send out something I can't KO easily. It also takes status afflictions. Electabuzz (F) @ (No Item) Trait: Static EVs: 4 HP / 252 Spd / 252 SAtk Timid Nature (+Spd, -Atk) - Hidden Power [Grass] - Ice Punch - Thief - Thunderbolt See Nidoking, except replacing Water types by Hypno/Grumpig. Spikes guarantees this gets surefire kills. Thief is here to annoy Hypno and destroy Shedinja. It also saves your ass sometimes stealing Salacs or even Choice Bands (!). This team is very fun to play because I always have to be creative and predict well to get past threats like Fearow. It is all about switching only when absolutely necessary, taking into account what mons your opponent has and which of yours you need in order to sweep. Electabuzz, Gligar and Nidoking can usually take on at least three of any team's mons (or more with Spikes help), so it's easy to put yourself in an advantageous position.