December 29- 9:00 PM- Twinleaf Town
In a nutshell, the boat ride from Unova was awful. Just awful. Seriously. Give me ONE reason I didn't come over here on Fly.
But I digress. Now is the time to move forward, and not complain. Why? Because I'm in for hell in the future. Warrior knew, deep in his mind, that there was a challenge ahead of him: One filled with drudgery, impossible restrictions, and half his team being incredibly hard to find. I was greeted by an old man. However, this man is not like any old man ever seen.
This one doesn't spend 99% of his time ranting on about his youth! Impossible, I know.
...Did you just ask if I need advice? Bitch, I've been playing Pokémon since the 90's (and I was only born in '96)! DO YOU NOT THINK I KNOW HOW TO PLAY?! -bitchslaps-
Wow, he let me touch his balls (get your mind out of the gutter), and a Munchlax came out. Whoopee -.-
Blah blah Pokémon blah blah bonds blah blah gender. Yep, another old guy that can't find out whether you're a boy or a girl. Goddammit. Nah, I'm gonna be a guy again. No skimpy skirt for me, I'd rather not upskirt everyone I come across. Then again, Japan, who cares? My name's Warrior, bro.
Wait a minute... is that... Bianca??! Yea, its Bianca. So you shall be named 63Bianc (congratulations, you will know go through life knowing that Rule 63 does exist in a children's game. And its canon). Let me take a little time to say that the 7 character limit is stupid, as everyone knows.
AH I'M SHRINKING AGAIN
Oh, here we go with the Red Gyarados. Story time: when I got to the Resort Area and heard "the lake has something special in it," how many of you thought it was the Red Gyarados from the beginning? All of you. Don't lie. Yet another example of TrollFreak at its finest. /endrant
So here we are in our little room again, with a Wii... wait. "It's a Wii! It's controlled by a Wii Remote!"
First meme of the Scramble... feels good, doesn't it?
Now to the kitchen, where our mother sleeps, just like every gen... Yes, I know the tall grass has wild Pokémon, but here's the same question we ask every time: They're like, level 3. I can just kick them in the face, and they'll go away. What's the big deal?
So, 63Bianc wants me, huh? yea sure. "I'm fining you $1 million if you're late!"
OH GOD NOT THIS BULLCRAP.
"It'll be a $10 million dollar fee if you're late!"
Has this kid not been repeatedly punched in the face enough to know when to stop this...?
Go to the lake? Fine why not, there's a Mesprit there MWAHAHAHAHA I JUST SPOILED IT HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Of course, the professor misses the giant land formation in the middle of the lake when checking it. This is why the Pokémon world doesn't get nice things. He's also got his
slut granddaughter with him.
...Did he really leave his suitcase here? Good job genius, well there's no ha- OMGWTFBBQ LVL 2 STARLY!! I am totally unable to just bat it off! Help me random Chimchar-who-is-aspiring-to-become-a-lawyer-that-I-wish-was-a-Piplup-because-water-type-starters-are-the-best!
*4 Scratches later, stupid Growl*
Well that was so frightening! It could've Tackled me with all 4.4 lbs of it! I'm so glad I had Pokémon to scare it off!
"My Pokémon got hurt! If we're attacked again, we might be in trouble!"
The problem with that is... actually, there are many things wrong with that.
63Bianc, did you really just say we'll have to return these? This is Pokémon, where no one gives a shit about larceny, bar gen 1 Cerulean City.
...Now my mom is freaking out about the close encounter with danger? Wait a minute: CONSPIRACY THEORY TIME!!
All starting towns are duplicates of Kokiri Forest. All of them are surrounded by trees and are in lush areas. No one ever ventures outside for fear of danger. The main character stays there for years until they find out that their destiny is to leave and go on a grand adventure.
YOUR MIND = BLOWN.
Or, I'm just kinda bored while I'm writing this. Probably the first one though.
RUNNING SHOES BUCK YEA. Well, time to go fuck shit up on the way to Sandgem Town.
oh no... oh no!!! Its... its....
KILL IIIIIIIIIT!!
So Professor, can I keep my Chimchar? "Yea sure, why the fuck not. I have freaking puppy mills for these things, why the hell does everyone think they're rare?" Well, works for me.
Finally, welcome to the team Phoenix!
"Here's the Pokédex. Will you use it to record data on all the Pokémon in Sinnoh for me?" Nope.
I don't care how long you can stay silent for, I'm not taking this. Its a goddamn Scramble. I'm only going to get like, 10 entries in it. Is it really that important to you? -reluctantly takes the piece of junk-
Damn it slut, I know how a town works, stop teaching me what a Pokémon Center is!
So, I should tell my mom about my journey? Umm... Is she going to care? I mean, she actually gets a bed now... but whatever.
*one short trip to Twinleaf Town later*
Wow! Now I have the super-useful Journal! I'll finally be able to record my adventure! And I have a Parcel for 63Bianc! Woooooow!
Now its time to learn how to catch a Pokémon (i.e. going on Memebase while the bitch does her thing)
AH! Pinkie Pie, you so silly~
... You were saying something? Oh yeah, thanks for the Poké Balls.
Well, time to go nonchalantly- WAIT! There's a Shinx! -catches it-
Welcome to the team Espio!
-grinds a bit, switching after one move restriction already being an ass-
So, Espio is now at a nice lvl 5, Nick is at a boss lvl 8. Time for my first trainer battle!
"Our eyes met, so battle we must!"
Yoda is alive, and he's in Sinnoh.
Finally, Jubilife City! Trainer's School? Why the hell not. Here's you damn package Bianc. Oh, Town Maps. Cool.
...Do I really need a watch, creepy business man? Whatever.
-3 clowns and a Quick Claw later-
"Oh, let me count your coupons using my Pokétch!"
...YOU NEED A MACHINE TO COUNT TO THREE!?!?!
Well, at least its snazzy.
Wanna battle 63Bianc? Why the hell not!
vs Starly
-Espio's Intimidate kicks in like a boss
-It uses Growl, Tackle doesn't do shit
-Nick comes in, Quick Attack does nothing
-Ember almost KO's, gets a burn, Starly uses Growl
-Quick Attack takes away 1 HP, Ember KO's.
vs Piplup
-Espio comes back in, Tackle doesn't do anything, neither does Pound
-Nick takes a Pound on the switch
-Scratch doesn't do shit (damn Modest nature...), it uses Growl
-Ember does even less than Scratch, Pound again
-Ember doesn't burn, Growl ftw
-Still fishin' for that burn, Pound
-Ember leaves it in low red, Pound puts me in mid-yellow
-Ember finally gets rid of the penguin
So, Oreburgh City eh? Well, guess I'm going there next.
Oh yeah, Espio got a STAB, but of course its a status move.
Woah, there are Abras here! -fails to catch it-
This is going to be a long day...
I also had my first chance to hit a Grass-type with Ember (yes, after getting hit with an Absorb).
So, about an hour later, I finally caught an Abra! And its female too!!! THANK. GOD. Welcome Zelda!
Isn't it great how it doesn't learn anything until I evolve it into Kadabra... which is after Maylene. Don't you love dead weight? Well, actually, I lied a bit. Hidden Power TM is in Jubilife, and its type is... Grass (confirmed with tests on Abra, Zubat, and Geodude)! Sweet.
And now, time to catch a little rock! *One Poké Ball later*
Welcome Bob-Omb!
-soloes male camper-
Well shit, a Budew... lets try this. -lives the Absorb with 1 HP-
Guess who's got 1 point~?
Rock Smash for Phoenix as well? Badass!
Finally, I'm at Oreburgh City. Hello little annoying brat! Thank you for showing me where the gym is! So I gotta go to the Oreburgh Mine? Mmk. Yo Roark, go back to your Gym? Thanks!
At the gym, Bob-OMB got his first solo after an epic battle with another Geodude, both taking out 1 HP from the other per turn. 2nd Geodude was easy due to lower level and Rock Throw.
Well, it's time to beat Roark up! Thank god for HP Grass...
vs Geodude
Geodude? Sup bro, I'm HP Grass, and I'll OHKO you!
vs Cranidos
-HP Grass did a ton to the mini-rex, but failed to KO, while Heatbutt OHKO'd in Return
-So, Phoenix came in to fish for a burn. However, he switched out into his Onix (idgi).
vs Onix
-Ember didn't burn, and Onix sets up Rocks (yeah...).
-Ember is beginning to take its toll, and Screech is making my defenses shit.
-Another Ember, another Screech.
-Ember almost kills, but Phoenix gets demolished by Rock Throw.
-Espio comes in and misses the KO by one HP -.-
-Bob-omb comes in, takes a Screech.
-It takes nothing from a Rock Throw, uses Defense Curl.
-Screech screws up my defense, Tackle takes out the snake.
vs Cranidos
-The rex shows his ugly mug again and uses Leer. Rock Throw looks like it will KO the glass cannon.
-Cranidos glares at Bob-omb again, making his defense even more piss-poor. The Geodude picked up a rock and threw it at the dinosaur. The rock hit him right on the forehead, and the Cranidos smashed into the wall, defeated.
Wait a minute. Geodude learns Rock Smash. Well, guess who's gonna go bang his head against the wall?
Current Team: WAIT, I have four members before the 1st Gym?! Dafuq is this shit?!
Phoenix (M) @ Nothing
Modest nature, lvl 13
-Scratch
-Rock Smash
-Ember
-Taunt
[pimg]74[/pimg]
Bob-Omb (F) @ Quick Claw
Naive nature, lvl 13
-Rock Smash
-Defense Curl
-Rock Throw
-Rock Polish
Points: 1
Gym trainers soloed: 2
[pimg]63[/pimg]
Zelda @ Nothing
Naive nature, lvl 12
-Teleport
-Hidden Power (Grass)
Espio (M) @ Nothing
Careful nature, lvl 13
-Tackle
-Leer
-Charge
-Bite
$ given/ owed: 0/0
Wow, thanks for the awesome natures guys...