Challenge The Scramble Challenge - Mark 2

Sorry for the delay, but here is Chapter 5!

The challange and previous chapters!

The story:
Well, after getting the Cobble Badge I decided it was a good time to finally catch up with Roy. Alas, Dawn was waiting for me outside and asked me to help her take down some Galactic Grunts who stole her Pokedex. The battle was relatively one-sided and we crushed the two grunts. I travel to the Department Store and buy some TMs, hoping that they would become useful in the future. I explored Route 214 a bit and I was able to obtain a new teammate! She was a Houndour and I named her Dashie. There doesn’t seem to be much wrong with this Pokemon, but she is a little lazy and tends to take some naps every now and again. I also found another new teammate on Route 214, SlowMo the Rhyhorn. I guess there are always 2 sides to a coin, while Dashie is pretty good, SlowMo has some serious issues. For some reason he doesn’t use any Rock or Ground moves. Also, he doesn’t use any Physical attacks. Bummer.

Dashie evolved very quickly and became a powerhouse. Ambiguous also evolved but her status did not improve a lot. When I reached Pastoria City I headed straight for the Gym. Roy stopped me and bragged about how he already defeated the Gym. I challenged him to a battle. Sadly, Dashie was taking a nap and was not present for the showdown.

-I lead with Calm, he lead with Staravia.
-Calm used Calm Mind and Staravia used Double Team.
-I switch out to Fierce and Staravia used Quick Attack, barely doing any damage.
-Fierce uses 1 Aerial Ace and knocks and Staravia.
-Roy switches to Ponyta as I switch to Calm.
-Ponyta uses Stomp and Calm flinched, 1 more Stomp and Calm was down for the count.
-Ambiguous popped out of her Pokeball, wanting to avenge Calm.
-Ambiguous was promptly knocked out by Flame Wheel.
-I send in Fierce again, seeing as the rest of my team was incapable of taking down a silly little Ponyta.
-Fierce knocks out Ponyta with an Aerial Ace. Roy sent in Roselia.
-Roselia got demolished by Fierce’s Aerial Ace.
-Prinplup came in. Actually doing some hefty damage with Bubblebeam.
-Luckily, Fierce was able to knock out Prinplup before it could fire many Bubblebeams off.

Roy was baffled at how I defeated him. He exclaims about how the Gym Leader of Pastoria City has taken him in as an apprentice. I don’t really care though, I mean Roy does need all the help that he can get. After I enter the Gym, I come to a conclusion that the Gym leader specializes in Water Types. How did I make such an amazing guess you ask? Well, the Gym was filled with water. That kind of gave it away. When I finally made it to the Gym Leader, I realized that the fat man from Veilstone actually WAS telling the truth. First Fantina, now this guy? I guess the
Gym Leaders of Sinnoh are a very odd bunch. The battle started against Crasher Wake, but Dashie was still taking her nap.

-I lead with Ambiguous, Wake leads with Gyarados.
-Ambiguous used Thief doing next to no damage. Gyarados used Brine, almost knocking out Ambiguous.
-I stressed Ambiguous out by using Grass Knot, but it did pretty significant damage to Gyarados. 1 more Brine knocked Ambiguous out anyway.
-I sent in Fierce to finish the job. Which he did sharply and swiftly with Aerial Ace.
-Wake sent in Quaqsire and I sent in Calm.
-Calm used Calm Mind a few times while being hit with a few weak Water Pulses.
-2 Confusions from Calm knocked Quagsire out.
-Wake sent in Floatzel, which promptly knocked out Calm with 1 Crunch attack.
-I sent in Fierce, and the intensity level grew.
-Floatzel used Aqua Jet, doing about 1/3 of Fierce’s HP. Fierce used Aerial Ace, doing 1/3 of Floatzel’s HP.
-I was getting a little scared, seeing as Fierce would lose this battle. But thank Arceus, Wake told Floatzel to use Brine for some reason. It only did ¼ of Fierce’s HP. Fierce used Return and brought Floatzel to red HP, but a Sitrus Berry healed it a bit.
-1 more Return and the battle was over.

Crasher Wake gave me the Fen Badge for my hard earned victory.

The team:
Listed from MVP to LVP.

Fierce the Staraptor: Level 36
Aerial Ace
Return
Fly
Close Combat
Fierce is still defeating all of his opponents, however, there are some Pokemon that offer some resistance, like Crasher Wake's Floatzel.


Dashie the Houndoom: Level 29
Bite
Smog
Beat Up
Odor Sleuth
Despite being one of the newer members of the team, Dashie has proved to be invaluable. Sadly, she did not participate in the Gym battle because she was napping, but the Gym was focused on Water types anyway, so I probably wouldn't have used her. I can't wait until she learns a Fire attack, that will make her amazing.


Calm the Meditite: Level 33
Confusion
Calm Mind
Detect (Unusable)
Shadow Ball
After her victory at the Veilstone Gym, she hasn't really been all to useful. Her weak Defenses and poor Special Attacking skills require Calm Mind to be used a few times before Calm even becomes a viable Pokemon to use.


Ambiguous the Gardevoir: Level 31
Grass Knot (Unusable, sort of)
Thief
Teleport
Double Team
Ambiguous is actually becoming a bit better. Thief is starting to actually do some damage to her opponents. I have had to stress her out by making her use a Special Attack sometimes.


SlowMo the Rhyhorn: Level 28
Fire Blast
Blizzard
Tail Whip
Scary Face
SlowMo is a bit of a mess. The only moves that he uses conflict with his low Special Attack, and they are inaccurate as hell.


Oh and I have some questions: Tetrinity, I'm having some troubles with Ambiguous. If I stress her out with a Special Attack, then switch her out to another female Pokemon, and then the female Pokemon faints, do I send Ambiguous in for the revenge KO or does she stay stressed out?

Concerning Healer the Blissey: I'm going to change the evolution restrictions a bit. No restriction to evolve into a Chansey, must solo Rival in Canalave to evolve into Blissey. Otherwise, it would be near impossible to solo my Rival with a flipping Happiny. Also the restrictions to evolve to Blissey are insane. Just to get Healer I must catch a Chansey (30 minutes), catch a male Clefairy (30 minutes), train the Clefairy to level 31 to learn Metronome (45 minutes), breed and hatch Healer (15 minutes), and train healer to level 40 to at least have a chance at soloing my rival (2 hours). A total of 4 hours. So after all of that I'm not really prepared to spend much more time on the evolution restrictions for Healer, that is why I'm changing it a bit. I know I'm complaining a bit, but I just hate tedious tasks.

As always, feedback is appreciated!
 
Thanks King Serperior! SlowMo isn't actually too bad. Next chapter I teach him a move that boosts his usefulness by a lot. I tried teaching him Surf, but I have to wait until he is a Rhydon.

I got pretty lucky when trying to find a Rhyhorn to fit the requirements though. A Speed reducing nature+Rock Head should have taken a while to find. But I found a suitable Rhyhorn on only the fifth try.
 
Oh and I have some questions: Tetrinity, I'm having some troubles with Ambiguous. If I stress her out with a Special Attack, then switch her out to another female Pokemon, and then the female Pokemon faints, do I send Ambiguous in for the revenge KO or does she stay stressed out?
Whoops, hadn't realised the possible contradiction there. I'll say that the stress overrules any other restrictions, so that the revenge KO isn't necessary if Ambiguous is stressed out.

Anyway, looking good! Pretty cool that Ambiguous is becoming slightly more useful, even with a move as low powered as Thief. Double Team is always fun to spam against the AI too :D
 
Ugh. I never realized how annoying it is to write up a background thing for scramble challanges. I haven't been on here in ages, simply because...
...it's start of term, and we have lots of tests that my teachers forgot. For example, today I had a Math test (Foundations are freaking annoying), and a Science test (curse you Chemistry!), on Monday we have both an English Test on Julius Caesar and an 800 word essay on an example that you could use "Et tu, brute?" in real life. On Tuesday we have a Social Studies test: we have to memorize practically everything relating to food, weapons, social structure, recreation, transportation, art, religion, location, clothing, and language of 7 different Canadian First Nations tribes. Did I mention that I recently got a 10-page history report on the Baroque Era (complete with listening log and composer chart) due on Wednesday?!

I've written about 2500 words on my update, but still haven't covered half of what I want to. Heck, I haven't even got to the sorti - no, that's gonna have to wait until later. I am METICULOUSLY reading Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Sorcerer's Stone for you AMERICANOS) and am copying details down on a notepad. Did I mention that it's 11:14... at NIGHT?!

Look, I'm sorry for spamming this with personal problems, but frankly, the update should be done by mid-day tomorrow. I apologize for having a busy enough life that I'm not able to constantly be on Smogon, but then again, it gets boring after a while.

Also, I curse the fact that an avatar has to be so small... and I can't put an amazing custom animation that I spent 3 units of time making. Which units of time, you ask? You'll just have to figure it out for yourself.... and no it is NOT larger than hours or smaller than seconds.

The Hunger Games movie was good, and I eagerly await borrowing the book from my library; it's just the 7 months of hold that I don't eagerly await. I've placed hold requests on every copy, in every branch, in 4 different... companies. Yeah, companies is the right word. I've even asked 6 people from class.

OHMYGOSH CHIA IS FREAKING AMAZING please click on the link on my signature AND LIKE MY FACEBOOK PAGE ITS FAILING PEOPLE!!

PGx actually works. The commercials are NOT fake, and combing it with chia, quinoa, and goji berries fills you up and is great for you.

I hate formal letters. I was recently assigned to send one to the Premier of BC, and she replied rather badly, encouraging me not to (and I quote) "spam me with unnecessary mail, and bring up topics of relatively low concern in today's economy." Wolf culls are important, and they do affect the economy. Besides, wolves are awesome. And adorable.

LOLOL SOME GUY WAS WEARING SWEATPANTS AND GOT A BONER AND THE ENTIRE CLASS SAW AND EVERYONE LAUGHED EVEN THE FREAKING TEACHERS and I got a boner too... dafuq?!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG IM GOING TO PORTLAND FOR EASTER OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG NO SALES TAX OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG DOUBLE LIMIT ACROSS BORDER OMGOSHOMGOSHOMGOSHOMGOSHOMGOSHOMGOSHOMGOSH CAPS LOCK IS AMAZING

If any of you have read up to here, PM me, and I'll electronically transfer a nickel from my bank account to yours. If you let it collect intrest at 5(0)% monthly, in 35 years you'll have over 70000 dollars!! At 2% yearly, it would take over 700 years, so hope for the best!!


You know when you see these "Hide" things, and there's always the "..." there? How does one replace it with words... I've seen it done before but don't know how...
 

Mafeking

channels his inner Wolverine
is a Contributor Alumnus
RBZW said:
LOLOL SOME GUY WAS WEARING SWEATPANTS AND GOT A BONER AND THE ENTIRE CLASS SAW AND EVERYONE LAUGHED EVEN THE FREAKING TEACHERS and I got a boner too... dafuq?!
I cried laughing; thanks for making my night.
 
I cried laughing; thanks for making my night.
You're very welcome. You might make my night by doing one of the following:
  • Writing my 10-page History assignment on the Baroque Era
  • Having sex with me
  • Shipping a French stripper/prostitute over to use as a living sex doll (EXPRESS SHIPPING PLEASE!!)
  • Singing "Hey Jude" in front of the American Idol Judges (and Simon Cowell)
  • Answering my previous question:)


ignore strikethroughs
 

Mafeking

channels his inner Wolverine
is a Contributor Alumnus
You mean making the hide tags show up

placeholder words blah blah


Just get the [ HIDE] [ /HIDE] tags open and insert an = after HIDE so that it reads
p.s. not writing any papers nor doing you any favors of the sexual kind, sorry bro.
 
You mean making the hide tags show up

placeholder words blah blah


Just get the [ HIDE] [ /HIDE] tags open and insert an = after HIDE so that it reads
p.s. not writing any papers nor doing you any favors of the sexual kind, sorry bro.
Thank you very much and MY FREAKING STRIKETHROUGHS FAILED
 
1000 post Scramble Challange and Shoutouts

1000 POSTS!!!!!!!!



Hello everyone and welcome to my long awaited 1000 post ceremony!!!!

I have a very great Scramble that will honor this great event. First though, I have some friends that I want to shout out to. This will be in ABC order for the sake of it.


Axmaster68 - You have always been one of my closest friends here. I truely cannot say anything other than the fact that it has been an honor to be your pal. Lets keep doing CAP, RPGs, and Scrambles!

Bald Accountant - Although I haven't known you as long as everyone else, I am happy to call you a friend. Thanks for the Ninetales!! I Managed to 6-0 a friend with its support!!

BattleStar -You were my first ever friend on Smogon and you allowed me to join Team Rocket Corperation. It was there that I met many of the people in this shoutout. Although we have had our differences, I am very glad to have been able to call you a friend.

Complications - Ah, what bad things can I say about you? *thinks* Nope, none at all! Comp, lets keep RPGing and ASBing as I still have a bone to pick with you in the latter. You are an awesome friend and not as hot-headed as Salazar would have you expect!!

Dark Pulse - Dark, Pulse, Dark Pulse, Dark Pulse, what interesting conversations that we've had. I was very suprised when I foundthat someone so much like me existed, and on the opposite side of the world at that too!! I also enjoyed your trolling of a certain person on this list too ^_^

DEMo_Gorgon47 - You are one of the people who helped me become who I am on this site. You taught me the art of RPGs and I took those lessons and ran. I wish to make long-lasting RPGs in the future with you!!

Its_A_Random - You started the Scramble Thread (as far as I know) and that alone allowed me to make good friends. I commend you for doing this fine deed. Thanks!!

Jimera0 - You made a rulebook for good challenges. You have the most epic updates. You have the funniest updates. You give the most creative challenges. What is there Not to like about you? Thanks for putting up with me and my challanges!!

Maxim - As the leader of two organizations in our best RPG, you have much to bear on your shoulders. This weight without complaint is a great trait to have in a friend. Thank you and I expect our rematch soon.

Pippy - Thanks for helping try to keep the peace at Smogon. You are a good and honorable friend that everyone should have.

PokemonLeagueChamp - We have had our differences, but I am happy to have known you. You have allowed me to meet some good friends here. Thanks for the opportunity.

Treadshot A1 - Your spine-chilling challenges have been horribly creative and scary to me. I wish to give you a taste of your own medicine, but my cruelness is very lacking.

VeilOfMaya - As with DEMo, you are one of the people who have helped me become who I am. Your group has opened the door to me creativity. I am proud to call you my friend. Let us make more excellent RPGs!!

Waterwarrior - I must say that I am happy to have known you. As a fellow Scrambler and ASBer, I have granted you with the honor of joining the ranks of those being mentioned. Thanks for being a great friend.

Ziposaki - Ever since you began doing RPGs, you have really opened up. Thanks to that, you are a much more fun person to talk to. I wish to have a Challenge Cup battle for old times sake. Thanks for being my friend!!

Zombachu - The only way that I can describe your abilities to make people laugh:

Thanks for being an awesomely funny friend!!

@All the people who have taken a "Random" challange - Good Luck because you all seriously need it :P

If I have forgotten anyone, just VM me and I'll add you.



Ok, with that over with, I am ready to open up my 1000 post Scramble!!

Game - HeartGold
Length - All the way to Red
Mon Number - Six
Theme - Chosen from my top ten favorite anime characters. I will not be taking two Domon-based mons. I will choose if such an occurence happens.
Difficulty - Medium

Top ten Anime Characters

1). Yusuke Urameshi (YuYu Hakusho)
2). Domon Kasshu (Mobile Fighter G Gundam)
3). Kenpachi Zaraki (Bleach)Taken
4). Rokusho (Medabots)
5). Roronoa Zoro (One Piece) Taken
6). Super Buu: all forms (Dragon Ball Z) Taken
7). Zeke (Zoids: Chaotic Century)
8). Sasori (Naruto) Taken
9). Gabumon: all forms (Digimon Adventures Season 1)
10). Jaden Yuki (Yu-Gi-Oh GX) Taken




I expect these challenges to be Creative!!! I will reserve the right to reject any and all challenges that I deem as not memorable or are too hard. If I recieve a tedious challange (killing 600 Rattata to evolve), there is a high possibility that it will either be rejected or edited. I cannot trade and want my mons to be able to fully evolve. If you have any questions, VM or PM me and I will do my best to answer them. I Do not want mons that are pathetic for 95% of the game (EX: Caterpie, Rattata, Sentret, etc). You don't have to give me Uber-strong mons, but I would like to have decent ones. Remember, these are my favorite characters and they have feelings too >.>

I will attempt to write a story with this one.

Let the Scramble Commence!!!!!
 
@KS: I'm gonna have to cook up a Sasori challange for ya! Reserving.

@Everyone: I am going to be putting my reserved Pokémon Black on an indefinite hiatus, to focus on HeartGold. Granted I haven't started my Black Scramblé yet, two projects at once is too much.

Also, I'm working on a nice update for y'all!

@Shiny: Very nice Ruby prologue! That hints that the Pokémon world isn't as peaceful and happy as the games suggest, eh? ;p

@Hwang: Liking the updates so far! Keep them up!

@Jimera: Wonderful update as always, they always have such a sarcastic humor into it, and the hax gods absolutely hate you and your team! O_O Keep at it. :D
 
Update number three! Definitely an interesting one, it has to be said.

Snow had never been so fierce.
Sophie struggled through the snow, shielding her face with a raised forearm. Her friends had battled on with her for a while, but by now she had called them back into their Poké Balls, unwilling to put them through any more. There was still a long way to go.
The hill grew steeper. Was she near the top? Impossible to tell. The blizzard reduced visibility so much she could barely make out her own arm at times. The occasional tree provided the sole indication of progress being made at all.
"Hey!"
The voice was distant, barely there. Sophie didn't notice it the first time, nor the second. Then a hand clasped her shoulder, making her jump so forcefully the hand was flung back.
"Hey, it's okay," said the man. He had a pair of skis on his feet and a worried expression on his face. Sophie realised that she was suddenly sat in a blanket of snow. Embarrassed, she accepted the man's hand and heaved herself onto her feet.
"You're not looking too great," he said. "Listen, my house isn't far from here. You need to warm up before you give yourself hypothermia."
Sophie merely nodded and followed the man sideways along the hill, trying her best not to slip. The skis didn't seem to affect the man's progress at all. Time had pretty much stopped, and it could've been a minute or ten years by the time they reached a small shack, shielded from the blizzard by nothing more than a few rows of wood panels acting as a wind break.
"Name's Adrian, by the way," he said, pushing the door open. "You?"
"S-Sophie," she chattered, gratefully settling into a chair by the crackling fire.
"You headed to Snowpoint, Sophie?"
"Y-yeah. Lake Acuity, too."
A dark look flashed across Adrian's face at the mention of Lake Acuity. He rose to his feet.
"You're not one of them Galactic folk, are you?"
Sophie quickly shook her head.
"No. Far from it. I'm trying to stop them after what they did at Lake Valor."
"Hrmm. Alright. I don't like what they're doing there, not one bit. I've been keeping my distance, myself. You should do the same."
"I can't. I need to go there, I owe Professor Rowan a favour."
"Ah, you know Rowan?" he asked. "I met the guy once, helped me out of a bit of a tight spot myself. Well, okay, I can help you reach there. I won't go any further than the lakefront though. You'll be on your own from there."
"Don't worry," Sophie smiled. "I'll have six friends coming with me."



Adrian had left Sophie at the entrance to Snowpoint City with a wave and a wish for good luck. She had spent a short time at the Pokémon Centre, then headed to the lake as soon as possible afterwards, not wanting to waste any more time. As it turned out, however, the lake was blocked off. Two surly police guards blocked Sophie from entering.
"Sorry, kid. Road's closed. Go back to Snowpoint and wrap up warm."
Sophie stared at the path behind the guards. She could even catch a glimpse of the lake itself from here. The urge was too much, and she made a break for it, surging past the guards. Her bid for freedom was short lived, however - another pair of guards, accompanied by a young girl, blocked her path.
"Where do you think you're going?" admonished the girl in a rather high-pitched voice. Sophie didn't reply, still searching for a way past.
"You're not getting to the lake, if that's what you're thinking," she continued. "There's been a lot of trouble with Team Galactic. We can't let anybody past."
"I can deal with a few Galactic goons," Sophie protested. "I've lost count of the number of them I must have faced."
She shook her head.
"Not these guys. Whatever they were doing here, it was something big. Please leave."
"I can't! My friend is in there. He needs my help."
"I assure you there is nobody there but police and those Galactic idiots. The entire area has been sealed off."
This wasn't getting anywhere. Sophie stared desperately past the girl, searching for a sign of her friend. Nothing. Wait, over there! A glimpse of blond hair, quickly disappearing behind a rock when the owner realised he'd been spotted. Clearly the police hadn't been too thorough in their search.
Nothing for it. Sophie hesitated for just a moment longer, then forced her way past the girl, cutting her off mid-sentence. The angered shouts fell on deaf ears, the guards caught off balance by the sudden burst of speed. Only one shout made it through to Sophie's mind, and even then it took her a moment to realise the precise meaning of the phrase.
"Go, Sneasel!"
The girl was Candice. Snowpoint City's Gym Leader. Well, at least that explained why she was here. As Sophie reached for a Poké Ball, she had a thought. She was gaining a reputation for defeating Gym Leaders with only a single Pokémon. Perhaps she could do the same again, in front of all these people no less.
"Oldie, come on out!"
Rampardos could do it, no problem. No need to take risks this time. All of Candice's Pokémon would be Ice type. She'd have the advantage against every single one. And she'd been working with Oldie in secret. He'd never been one for defence, so she'd taken some precautions. Now all she had to do was hope he could remember what those precautions actually were.
The Sneasel was already on its first attack, cloaking itself in a shadow as it dashed towards Oldie. Sophie held her breath. If he remembered, he'd know exactly what to do. If not…
Oldie's face was scrunched up in concentration. Something obviously then clicked in his head, as he'd grabbed a rock and thrown it up into the air. The Sneasel's attack struck the rock, shattering it into pieces.
"Alright, Oldie!" called Sophie, smiling at her Rampardos' initiative. "Hit back with an AncientPower!"
Oldie stopped once more, trying to connect the word to an action. There were blips, but ultimately nothing happened. He looked back to Sophie, a confused expression on his face. Not the most opportune technique for him to forget, she had to admit, but he could still do it.
The Sneasel was incoming for a second strike. Time for action. Oldie didn't need to be told what to do; he blocked the attack effortlessly using a second boulder and went into a charge, bowling the Sneasel over before it realised what was going on. If the headbutt hadn't finished it off, the trampling underneath Oldie's feet certainly did. Candice called the Pokémon back before it had to suffer any more damage.
"Hmm," she muttered. "Strong. But no matter. I have my ways of dealing with people like you."
The second Poké Ball of four was flung forward, releasing a small furry creature. Sophie didn't know what it was called, but overheard the word "Piloswine" murmured several times from the onlookers. All she knew was that it must be an Ice type, and that'd suit her just fine.
Oldie seemed apprehensive. Perhaps he knew something Sophie didn't, because normally a creature half its height wouldn't phase him in the slightest.
"Oldie?"
He shook his head slightly, then took off towards the lake, completely the opposite direction to where Piloswine and Candice stood. Sophie's heart sank, and she reached for Oldie's Poké Ball. Something about Piloswine must have spooked him somehow. No matter. Confused would handle the job just fine.
She stopped.
Oldie hadn't been running at all. Oldie had a plan where Sophie had none.
A massive wave, carrying chunks of ice and a large dinosaur, forced itself through the blizzard and crashed into the ground directly in front of Piloswine. Candice and the onlookers behind her were sent flying by the water, which proved sufficiently powerful enough to uproot several trees. When the water eventually cleared, Piloswine lay unconscious semi-buried in a snow bank.
Candice picked herself up, positively fuming.
"Your Rampardos is a monster!" she screamed. "This ends, now!"
She slammed a Poké Ball into the melting snow bank, releasing what appeared to be a large tree, encrusted with snow. Sophie had seen smaller versions of these earlier, attempting to camouflage themselves in the alpine landscape. This one made no such attempt, instead preferring to charge full-pelt at Oldie, who had just reappeared from where the wave had carried him.
Rampardos was ready. As the Abomasnow approached, Oldie tilted his head sideways and used his mouth to rip a tree from the ground, severing what few roots were still intact from the wave. Now, Abomasnow may be tough, and indeed a tree itself, but no matter what you are, a tree to the face is going to hurt. And so it did. Abomasnow slammed into the ground, skidding twenty feet before coming to a halt and pulling itself onto its feet.
The area lay oddly silent, just for a few seconds. Then a dozen Poké Balls were thrown forward, a cataclysm of colour as the Pokémon inside were released. Sophie could see the closest four, two Growlithe, a Mightyena and a Granbull, all preparing to charge. The others had spread themselves out, encircling Oldie who kept trying to back away without success.
A whistle was blown by one of the police officers, prompting the Pokémon forward at an incredible pace. Rampardos did the only thing he could, swinging its head around and crashing the tree into the ground at its feet. The resulting tremor gave him enough respite to escape, squeezing between a disoriented Houndoom and Growlithe and dashing once more for the lake.
Sophie's nerves were wracked. She was no longer under control of Oldie. Not really. Certainly none of the more recent events had been part of her training routine. She could only watch as her Rampardos summoned another wall of water, sweeping half the crowd into the surrounding forest.
The wave petered out, coming to a sudden halt as it passed over Candice and dropping to the ground as a flurry of snow. Rampardos, no longer supported by the water, found itself at the top of a thirty foot drop. Then, two seconds later, at the bottom of it.
A shadow leapt from the newly formed snow, performing a graceful flip before touching down gently in front of Rampardos, inelegantly hauling himself to his feet. The fall had injured him, but he was still able to fight. When he caught sight of the small figure in front of him, he seemed to regain his resolve, rearing back up onto hind legs.
"Froslass," breathed Sophie, ice crystals forming in front of her mouth with the air current. The Pokémon shimmered slightly in the night air, only partially within the real world.
Oldie lowered his head, poised to charge. A moment's silence, then a burst of acceleration carrying him towards the target. Froslass was ready, responding with a powerful torrent of snow that forced the Rampardos to a crawl. The resulting tackle barely fazed Froslass, who swept herself into the air with a final pirouette to complete her attack.
The contrast was staggering. Oldie's sheer power and brute force against Froslass' grace and elegance. If it were anybody else fighting, Sophie would probably have been rooting for her opponent. But they were close, and her resolve would not fade now.
Froslass remained in her position, hovering just out of the Rampardos' reach. Sophie decided to try jogging his memory, issuing a command for an AncientPower. A quick finish, if it had worked. The order had no visible effect. Damn. Alright, let's do this the hard way.
A second blast of snow fired at Oldie, forcing him to take cover behind a tree to avoid blacking out from the pressure. He was fighting a losing battle and he knew it. Waves were instantly frozen over and Froslass stayed out of reach, away from the danger of the Rampardos' horns. And the one effective method of hitting Oldie's opponent remained locked away in a hidden vault of his memory. Time for the mental equivalent of a Rube Goldberg machine.
"Oldie, use Substitute!"
Oldie almost queried the order, then thought better of it, instead picking up a boulder and using it as a cover. Sophie had a plan. Her Rampardos may have forgotten how to throw rocks, but with a bit of luck he'd remember how to scale them.
"Rock Climb, now!"
Froslass watched on suspiciously as Oldie set down the boulder and took several steps back. She remained where she was. She was well out of reach, even if the Rampardos stood on top of the rock. No need for concern.
Rampardos charged.
He leapt up onto the boulder, still running at full pelt.
And then he slammed a tree down into the ground.
Sophie couldn't help but grin as she watched her Rampardos launch into the air, pole-vaulting directly at the Froslass and impaling a horn directly into Froslass' icy chest. He rode the tree the rest of the way down, landing with a gentle thump in a bank of snow.
Candice wordlessly called her Pokémon back. The onlookers and their Pokémon had almost all completely vanished. The sight of the girl staring at the ground, willing herself to stay calm, was surprisingly morbid. Then she threw something to the ground and ran away, making it to the safety of Snowpoint City.
The object was almost buried under the snow by the time Sophie reached it. A picture of two ice-encrusted mountains - the Icicle Badge. This wasn't quite how Sophie had anticipated winning it, but the rush of victory rang true. One thing was for sure, though - she would no longer be welcome at Snowpoint City. Not after a display like that. She began her descent of the mountain, trudging through the blizzard and wondering to herself just what had happened to her friend.


Ordered from LVP to MVP, for once.


Can'tdoit (Lv43 Piplup) @ Amulet Coin
Nature: Bold (+Def, -Atk)
Ability: Torrent
Moveset: Pound | Growl | Peck | Mist

oh hey Can'tdoit is LVP truly this is a revelation to us all

Not being able to level him up in this area is a pain, but it's not been too much trouble so far; I left myself plenty of leeway.


Purify (Lv41 Meditite) @ Mind Plate
Nature: Mild (+SpA, -Def)
Ability: Pure Power
Moveset: Brick Break | Calm Mind | Confusion | Grass Knot

I still need to teach him Ice Punch, seeing as I met the requirement for another physical move. Perhaps he'll be a little more useful then. Brick Break is great, but Calm Mind isn't as useful as I might like; he pretty much faints before he can set up enough to do any serious damage with special attacks.


Lola (Lv40 Buneary) @ Quick Claw
Nature: Gentle (+Def, -SpD)
Ability: Run Away
Moveset: Return | Agility | Baton Pass | Jump Kick

Lola isn't bad, per se, she just hasn't got too much to do these days. Five more levels and she'll be a Lopunny, though. Should help out her relatively low offensive stats somewhat.


Fiddle (Lv40 Kricketune) @ Razor Fang
Nature: Adamant (+Atk, -SpA)
Ability: Swarm
Moveset: X-Scissor | Rock Smash | Strength | Aerial Ace

Fiddle's coverage comes in handy - I generally have a super-effective and neutral attack at my disposal against any given Pokémon, so perma-Torment doesn't bother him too much.


Oldie (Lv48 Rampardos) @ Shell Bell
Nature: Relaxed (+Def, -Spe)
Ability: Mold Breaker
Moveset: AncientPower | Substitute | Surf | Rock Climb

Yeah, that level is correct. It was kinda superfluous to grind him up to lv46 for the start of the Candice fight, but at the time it made sense - Abomasnow was OHKOing with a choice of Wood Hammer or Focus Blast and I would've basically needed Focus Blast to miss three times in a row. Once I reached level 46, I realised there was a much easier way of going about the battle. I picked up a Substitute TM, and suddenly the fight was much simpler.


Confused (Lv40 Lucario) @ Fist Plate
Nature: Naughty (+Atk, -SpD)
Ability: Inner Focus
Moveset: Rock Smash | Swords Dance | Double Team | Toxic

Confused has fainted a grand total of once. That was due to being hax'd myself through confusion damage, ironically enough. He really does just destroy everything, needing only the occasional assistance in the form of a Moomoo Milk or Hyper Potion. STAB Rock Smash after a Swords Dance is still plenty strong enough. <3


I definitely retconned this fight a great deal, it has to be said. In reality, I bought a load of X items, then boosted up both defences to maximum against the Sneasel while stalling with Substitute. The only tough opponent was Froslass, who was spamming Double Team and had Snow Cloak activated. <____<

AncientPower was indeed the forgotten move, which was a pity, but hey. The fight was waaaaaay easier with Substitute, should really have thought of it earlier.
 

Jimera0

You don't understand, Edgar is the one in the hole!
is a Smogon Social Media Contributor Alumnus
@KS
thanks for the shout out :D, I do my best on here. I'll reserve the DBZ Super Buu for you since that's the only character I actually know at all on your list... why couldn't you have FMA Brotherhood or Spice and Wolf or Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann on there >.<

@Stall
yeah, dry humor is my thing. I'm glad you like it. And yes I have terrible luck in Pokemon for some reason, it's just as bad on PO.

@Tetrinity
Awesome update as usual. I'm torn between the cinematic descriptions of your gym battles and actually learning what you did, but since you usually summarize what you actually did at the end anyway I get both! Keep it up!

@All
I might well have yet ANOTHER update up today, seeing as I have the time and this next part shouldn't take too long to do. I'm pretty sure 3 updates in 3 days is some sort of record for me... anyway, after that the post game update might take a while because I'm working for the next 4 days and when I get home from that I'm kinda bushed. We'll see though, overall I should be done the Colosseum scramble within the week.

EDIT: KS, take a Mareep and name it Buu. First of all, Buu likes destruction (it's fun!), and as such can only ever inflict damage through direct attacks. No Toxic or anything like that. That's not much of a restriction, but while Buu starts off pretty strong it needs to consume other fighters to get stronger! At the start, it can only use level up electric type moves (minus Thunder), and Tackle. Here's a list of fighters to absorb (solo) in order to gain their powers.

Normal and Electric Type Status Moves: Absorb Joey's Rattata! (May require a rematch).
Other status moves: Absorb Silver's Gastly twice (otherwise it'd be too easy) or Morty's Gengar
Physical moves other than Tackle: Absorb Chuck's Poliwrath or all the trainers in his gym.
Thunder and electric TMs: Absorb your rival's Magnemite 3 times or Jasmines Magneton
Special moves of other types: Absorb Pryce's Piloswine or your rival's starter every encounter before the elite 4 (second option not applicable if rival's starter is Totadile).

No matter what though he must defeat the hero, Lance! Have him solo his entire team.

Enjoy!

Notes: This challange will be hardest at first when you have limited access to moves, but by the time you get to the League he'll be completely unrestricted if you managed to absorb all the fighters. It's not dissimilar from the Mario challenge you gave me hmmm? No matter what though, I expect Lance to be suitably challenging!

Also I may have gotten some details of Buu wrong thanks to the fact it's been around a decade since I saw the episodes involving him. Hopefully, I got enough right to not look silly.
 
]Reserving Zoro challenge for KS.

Edit: Take Roronoa the Sandshrew. He can only use attacks that involve slashing: Scratch, Fury Swipes, Fury Cutter, Slash, Aerial Ace, Shadow Claw, Sword Dance, X-scissor, Crush Claw, Cut. As you probably know his boss is somewhat stupid and gets into fights, so Roronoa can only participate every third major battle.(Gym leader, Legendary, Rival,etc) He cannot switch out or healed during battle as it would hurt his pride as swordsman. If he dies during battle he has to solo 5 trainers and next Gym leader, E4 member or Rival. He has to solo Bruno and Red's Charizard.
Also after he has soloed 4 gym leaders he can use learn Dig and after He has soloed 6 + E4 member he can replace dig with earthquake.
 
@KS: You are correct, none of Lance's Pokémon have any Ground moves until getting Garchomp in the rematch. It also sucks that Toxic isn't a viable TM until after the E4. >_< I'll have to improvise that aspect of my Challange then. :|

King, catch Sasori the MALE Tentacool. Now, since Sasori enjoys poisoning his enemies, he must always have at least one poisonous move, preferably Toxic Spikes. In order to be able to attack, he must lay down two layers of Toxic Spikes in a drawn out battle, or have one attack that can at least poison enemies. Since he appreciates the art of Poison, he mst battle all Poison-types that he meets in order to show that HE is the one true master of it. In order to prove that he is the unequivocal master of Poison, he must solo Koga, as well as Janine, since both father and daughter are supposed masters of Poison. He views his teammates as his puppets, but he uses one of them a lot more often then the others. Pick a Pokémon, and whoever you pick will be Sasori's puppet. If Sasori is low on health, he will send his puppet out to tank the blows of his enemies while he plots and replenishes his Chakra. When/If his puppet is dispatched, he will come out and fight to the death. He must severely poison ten enemy ninjas (trainers) in order to evolve, and if his traps are destroyed, he must lay more. Have fun. :)

[Sorry that it's almost all based on his Poisonous puppets, but there are no good Pokémon I could really use to actually be a puppet besides Banette. :| At least there's some aspect of using a puppet in my Challange.]
 
Sorry about the delay in posting this challange, haven't had access to my computer.

KS, take a Heracross called Jaden Yuki. His name just fits so perfectly, I don't want to change it. :p

Jaden's main deck uses the Elemental HERO archetype. Since these are mostly Warrior type monsters, they take advantage of Fighting type attacks. Therefore Jaden should know at least two Fighting type moves as soon as possible. However, many Elemental HERO monsters are relatively weak in terms of pure stats, and it's helpful to boost these in order to beat down the opponent. Jaden may not use a Fighting type damaging move unless an X item has been used to increase the relevant stat in this fight.

However, there's more to Jaden than pure attacking. Jaden is connected with Winged Kuriboh, able to see its spirit when others cannot. This spirit helps Jaden when he is in danger. Unfortunately, in the transition into the world of Pokémon, Jaden became a bit confused about what Winged Kuriboh actually looks like.

Upon capturing Jaden, designate one of your other Pokémon as Jaden's "Winged Kuriboh". When Jaden faints, you must send out Winged Kuriboh and revenge kill or die trying. If this is not possible, or Winged Kuriboh faints in this attempt, Jaden has lost the duel and will brood over the loss. He may not battle until Winged Kuriboh gains a level.

To prove his worth, Jaden wants to defeat the best of the best at Duel Monsters. Jaden must solo Clair. Optionally, you may solo any one member of the E4 (first round) to void the X item requirement - his deck is good enough to no longer need the boosts.

Bonus optional restriction: Say the words "Get your game on!" whenever Jaden is sent out, as loud as you dare.

Summary:
Jaden Yuki the Heracross
- Must know at least two Fighting type moves as soon as possible
- May only use a Fighting type damaging move if an X item has been used in this fight to boost the appropriate attacking stat.
- Upon capture, designate one other Pokémon as Jaden's Winged Kuriboh. If Jaden faints, Winged Kuriboh must revenge kill. If this is not possible (e.g. Winged Kuriboh refuses to fight / is already fainted) or Winged Kuriboh faints in the attempt, Jaden loses the duel and refuses to fight until Winged Kuriboh gains a level.
- Must solo Clair.
- Optional: Solo any E4 member (first round) to void the X item restriction.
- Optional: Say "Get your game on!" whenever Jaden is sent out. No reason, it'd just be cool.



Hopefully works out okay, it's been a while since I read any of the GX manga or watched the anime. I originally wanted to make this Pokémon the Winged Kuriboh itself, but couldn't find anything suitable. :p
 
Alright everyone, hello and welcome to my 400th post, which has coincidentally coincided with my 5th Scramble Challange! This time I’m taking the plunge into Pokemon Colosseum, a game I haven’t played in years and only ever beaten once. As such, I don’t remember a lot of things about it, so maybe it’ll be a little fresher than my past ones. Also, it turned out rather hard though I did not specify a difficulty, so I’m just going to go ahead and call it a “hard” scramble. Anyway, enough of me jabbering, let’s get started!

The Team:


Note: Anything in bold is something I added, be it a comment, a choice or a change negotiated with the giver.

Jimera0, Take Mario the Espeon

That is right, you choose your mon.

Please note that your mon must come from area 1!! Since I've already been assigned the two catchables from Phenac City and an Umbreon, I pretty much have to go with Espeon to keep in the spirit of this requirement, which is obviously intended to ensure I get Mario ASAP.

You have Mario's standard 5 lives. If it faints, it loses a life.

You get some defenses though via powerups:

- Standard Mushroom (Solo a mon who has a type advantage): you gain 1 Faint counter (max of 2). Faint counters allow you to faint once without losing a life.
- Star (Solo a boss mon): allows you to evolve if you are able. If you are unable, then it gets immortality in this battle and the next 2.
- Mega Mushroom (Survive a Supereffective attack and go from green-red HP): may now use moves with over 100 BP (this includes STAB).
- Micro Mushroom (OHKO a mon without a SE move): you are now allowed to use Non-damaging moves.
- Fire Flower (2KO 5 Fire types without STAB): may use moves with added effects up to 70BP.
- Squirrel Suit (Collect 10 feathers by OHKOing 10 birds): you may now be allowed to switch out in battle.

Please Take note that these restrictions DO stack.

Summary of restrictions before powerups:
- Evolvable only by soloing a "boss mon" - well can't evolve so he just gets temporary invincibility.
- No moves over 100 BP, including STAB bonus -allowing Return because otherwise he can't attack at all first. At least it's only 2BP over at its most powerful right?
- No non-damaging moves
- No moves with added effects
- No switching out of battle
- This is going to be rough

If you happen to lose all of your lives, rename your mon Boo and now you must only have one Non-STAB offensive move and three non-attacking moves. You cannot attack a mon with green HP.

Good luck :)


Here's a pretty simple challenge, then. Take an Umbreon. (How fortunate, looks like you start with him!) Your Umbreon's a bit of a Kleptomaniac, it seems; he starts off every battle by using Snatch (don't ever replace it!), and refuses to use any direct damage dealing moves each battle until he's managed to Snatch at least one move from the enemy. Can use indirect moves after snatch has been used once instead of snatching until an effect is stolen. NEW RULE! If he's the last member of my team, he can use whatever the fuck attack he wants.


Reserving for Jimera. Will edit in a few.

EDIT: Jimera, take Voice the ___________. Voice must be caught at Phenac City. Now depending upon your choice of 4 pokemon, the restrictions continue from there. Choose one, and open its hide tag.
Note: for the sake of avoiding clutter, I’ve removed the options I didn’t chose and just pasted the ones I did.

Croconaw:
Voice, as a Croconaw, is very gentle most of the time, and such can only have 1 move over 70 BP, and can only use SE moves 5 times per battle.

Wave Your Flag:
Voice loves his teammates, and such cannot KO more than 2 pokemon per battle. Also, in any battle Voice participates in, one other pokemon, his "partner of sorts" must participate. (solos are an exception)

Adam:
Adam is quite like a buisnessman, but is quite the rocker, so Voice must take one status or STAB move before he can attack directly. Still, with Adam Voice wants to be a rockstar, so he must rock out and solo 2 more boss pokemon.

No matter what you choose, Voice must solo a Coloseeum once, and after every KO, you must say/write/sing "My voice is so _______"

Have fun, and good luck!

Restriction Summary:
- Take a Croconaw
- Only one move over 70 BP allowed (Exception made for Shadow Rush since I can't do shit about that)
- Only 5 Super effective attacks per a fight
- Maximum of 2 KOs per a battle
- Must have chosen partner Pokemon participate at some time in his battles (DR.PROTECT chosen)
- Must be hit by either a Status or STAB move before attacking directly (exempt until Status move is actually acquired)


Because I have so much schoolwork lately, I'm giving you this set.


Jimera, take a Slugma and name it DR.PROTECT.
This Slugma is a national protector of Fire-types, and gets tired of it.
So, it must use Yawn against all fire types that it sees. That also means Slugma must switch in against all fire types to use Yawn. This will help Mario get his Fire Flower :)
After evolution, it thinks it has the effects of Shell Smash on, so it has to set up Reflect and Light Screen when it comes in , instead of Yawn. But it must keep Yawn.
After Reflect and Light Screen have been used 5 times in total each, it thinks protecting isn't boring anymore, and can forget Yawn and not have to come in against all fire types.
It also has to have at least 1 attacking move at all times.
Have fun!


Reserving the Swablu from Pyrite Cave for Jimera. Edits in a minute.

This is pretty useful for seeing Swablu and Altaria's moves in Colosseum.

Swablu's ability, as it always has been, is Natural Cure! Sounds homeopathic, right? Delightful. You know what else are homeopathic? Those cologne scents you can get from the shop in Agate!

Because Swablu requires its curing from Shadowistis to be natural, you may never call Swablu out of Hyper Mode. (I think that's what it's called, been a while since I played.) For every time that Swablu enters Hyper Mode, you must buy the cologne of medium price and use it (buy some in advance if you're going through a large area!) to calm Swablu down after battle.

Unfortunately, the cures don't seem to have worked! Your Swablu has been purified, but now it's evolved into a raging monster, acting like a terrible Dragon! To counter this, if you teach your Altaria any Dragon-type moves, you must also let it learn Refresh via level-up, as this will definitely keep your Altaria as it's perky and chipper self!

Additionally, any time a Dragon-type move is used, you must soothe Altaria after battle with another cologne. (I believe these can be used on purified Pokemon, but if it turns out they can't be then just ignore this.) (Upon review was decided to ignore)

You're afraid to let Altaria be corrupted by the monstrosities that ruined her before, so she may never be in battle against a Shadow Pokemon. Additionally, keep her away from opposing Dark-types. Your Umbreon is fine though, they can double battle.

Summary:
- Cannot be called out of Hyper Mode Must remain in Hyper Mode for 3 turns each time it enters it. Turn count carries over the course of multiple battles. And no, this is not too easy. Goddamn, NOTHING in this scramble is too easy.
- Keep track of # of Hyper Mode entries. Buy a medium priced cologne for each time and use it on Swablu until purified
- If Altaria learns a dragon type move, must also learn Refresh by level up (but not necessarily required to use)
- Cannot battle Dark types or Shadow Pokemon after evolution.


@Jimera0, Shenron is back but has been corrupted by the lack of negative wishes, it is now Omega Shenron. Take Omega the Makuhita (since you picked Croconaw), instead of granting wishes, it gives you choices for its requirements. You must catch it on the first encounter and purify ASAP. Only restriction before purification is that it may only use Shadow moves. After purification, you must choose 1 restriction from each of the following 3 categories:

Moves
Cannot use Fighting moves
Can only use Fighting moves
Must have 3 Status moves
Will probably choose either the first or second option, not sure which.

Battling
Choice Locked
Under the effect of Taunt
Under the Effect of Torment
Probably will pick Torment

Evolution/Items
Cannot Evolve at all but may use any items at any time
Cannot Evolve until level 45 and may only use items outside of battle
Can evolve whenever but may not have items used on it
Probably will pick level 45 for the compromise, or just screw items and evolve whenever. Not sure yet though, depends on how pathetic it is when unevolved. Going by my past experiences with Makuhita though, I'm predicting I'll just end up screwing items. Fuck that, he's evolving ASAP.

Once you pick, you cannot change your mind. It must always be within 5 levels of your highest level Pokemon.
Good luck!


The Story so Far:

Alright, let’s see what Gamefreak has cooked up for us this time shall we? Wait, this game wasn’t developed by Gamefreak, but by Genius Sonority? Who the hell fuck is Genius Sonority? Ah whatever, it might as well be Gamefreak for all the differences between the two.

*selects new game*
“Starting a new game will delete the current save file on the Memory Card in Slat A. Is that okay?”
Considering I don’t even remember where I am on the old save file, I’d have to say yes, yes it is.

So who is this punk in the weird post apocalyptic outfit? I guess it’s supposed to be me, and someone is asking for my name. Now the real question is who’s asking for it? C’mon Oak, I know you’re in there somewhere!

Oooo an opening Cinematic? Now this is a real treat!
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na74PSxXDNo*
Wow that video is horrible in quality. Well anyway, this Pokemon game decides to begin with a bang instead of a whimper. Now there’s a change I can appreciate Genius Sonority! Though, I could have done without the slasher grin on the protagonists face when he steals that arm machine thing. I mean really, THIS is supposed to be our protagonist?

Hmm it would seem I don’t get to name Mario yet. Oh well, we all know he’s Mario!

Oh, and the place we pull into is an old steam engine that’s been converted into a bar... in the middle of the desert. I can understand the steam engine part, that’s kind of a cool idea. But locating your bar in the middle of a harsh desert usually isn’t the best way to reel in the customers.

Hey, a couple dufuses came out with... a twitching bag in the trunk of their hover truck. No... it couldn’t be... could it?
* http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdYuh3RpSd8*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Please don’t let these freaks see me please don’t let them see me please don’t let them see me.... oh thank lord they didn’t. Well I surely won’t be seeing those freaks again!

Let’s see what’s inside here... oh, Team Snagem’s Base is on the news! Or rather, what’s left of it is on the news, heh heh heh...

From one of the occupants of the bar I learn that, SHOCKER! Team Snagem steals Pokemon! What a damn surprise! Not.

And what do you know, the people here don’t seem too upset with the development. Hell, one of the women here openly wishes that they died in the blast. If only we were so lucky...

Hmmm one of the guys in the bar called Willie noticed I was a trainer and now he wants to battle me. Says he was “compelled” to. Shit, is Bill here too? What is he up to now, and why is he involving me in his plans??? CURSE YOU BIIIILLLL!

Anyway, the guy has two Zigzagoon, which should be no trouble for my Umbreon and Espeon!
*Looks at Espeon’s moves*
... Confusion, Return, Helping Hand, Reflect... oh for the love of god, I can’t use anything of those if the 100 BP limit applies to Return! Alright, I’m going to have to make an edit and make it so that variable BP moves are allowed, otherwise I can’t do anything.
*Snatch fails to snatch anything since it turns out it can only snatch moves that target the user, not stuff like Growl and Tail Whip *
Wow this would be a hopeless battle if it weren’t for Return.
*Several Returns later they’re both down*
Well, that was a scary sign of what’s to come...

Anyway, after the battle he directs me to Phenac city, so I suppose I’ll give that a go. Time to hop on my impractical and insanely dangerous looking bike and head over there!

OH SHIT IT’S THE BAG DUDES AGAIN!
Bag: “mgflpmmmgg... Beh! Help! Someone let me out! Kidnappers!”
Wait did that bag just talk? In a girl’s voice???? Hang on a second, that isn’t the RE4 bag at all! Oh thank god. I don’t even care that they saw me and are attacking me. This is just such a relief.

Wait this guy’s name is Folly? If that’s not a meaningful name, I don’t know what is. Anyway, his Whismur shouldn’t be much trouble.
*Mario eventually manages to take them both out with Return, while Umbreon just stands there Snatching at air*
Oh lord is this restriction ever going to be loathsome until I get some more useful support moves than Taunt.

Anyway, the battle attracts a commotion and the thugs beat it out of there after the stupider of the two denies that they’re robbers and insists they are kidnappers. I guess whoever these guys work for pick from the same talent pool as Team Rocket.

So I help this random dude get the girl out of the sack, and despite her trip on the back of truck in the middle of a sweltering hot desert, her clothes and hair seem completely unruffled. I guess future fashion technology is really something!

Oh wait, I get to name her? Fufufufufufufu...
*New name is DatBitch!*
Ahhh just kidding, we’ll go with the default Rui.

And so she’s advised to go to the mayor and asks me to escort her for a while. I’m pretty sure I don’t have a choice in the matter though.
“Rui has joined you as a partner”
... a “partner” eh? *wink wink nudge nudge*

Guy who helped undo the bag she was in: “You know, you two make one attractive couple! It makes me a little envious. Ahahahaha!”
LAY YO HANDS OFF MY BITCH FOOL! SHE’S MINE! ALL THE BITCHES ARE MINE! ALL OF THEM!

AHEM, I mean, hahahahaha it’s not like that who told you that <.< >.>

Anyway, before I do anything else I had better pop into the Pokemon center. Especially since you can only save at PCs in Coloseum... now that is an addition I could have done without.

Old man in PC: “That PC can be used not only to save your progress, but also to access the Pokemon Storage System. Things sure have become easy and convenient! Fwohohoho.”
NO THEY HAVEN’T! Easy and convenient is saving whenever you want dammit...

Alright, I might as well take a look around this oasis town now then...

Wait, there’s something called a Pre Gym? Does it have a Pre Gym leader? Because lord knows I need somewhere to put an identifiable end to these chapters... it’s been so long I can’t even remember how pre gyms worked.

Woah, this old guy wants to battle? Yeah, well I don’t see why not. Battles in towns, outside of gyms and rocket hideouts? This shit is crazy man!
*Umbreon finally manages to Snatch something!*
HOLY SHIT I’M SAVED. Maybe Umbreon won’t be totally useless after all.

Hmm, the people around here seem to fear some thugs in Pyrte Town. I think I might know where I’m headed next...

Hmmm no one seems to sell any Pokeballs around here. I guess that makes sense with the lack of wild Pokemon around, but that doesn’t explain why everyone has Pokemon in the first place. Or why there are so few around to begin with... really seems kind of foreboding doesn’t it?

Some kid mentioned the leader of the Pre Gym, Justy! OOOOO there are gyms here :D I’ll have to check that out in a little bit.

And now some kid on Roller Blades wants to battle me in the middle of town? Well alright, who am I to say no?
*beats him easily*
Wait woah, he gave me TM 41 Torment for beating him! This would be really cool if Torment wasn’t totally useless! What is cool though is that, since thanks to the Snatch restriction, Mario was the only one that attacked and the guy had two Bug types... 2 Mushrooms means 2 Faint counters, meaning that’s temporarily maxed already.

Ah, here’s the mayor’s house, let’s ta- wait a second who just walked out of the door?

O.o the fuck is that outfit? And why does your hair keep moving like that? And your... skirt? Ok, this guy is just... the fuck

Well he didn’t have much to say... I guess I can just forget about that freak and move on. It’s like Sephiroth had a kid with a ballerina...

... seriously, this is the mayor?

He looks like he belongs in Whoville. And “Es Cade”? What kind of name is that?

Rui tells the mayor there was a wierd dark pokemon, that attacked people! As opposed to all the wild Pokemon and trained Pokemon that don’t attack people, right? Oh wait no, those attack people too. So, what’s the issue?

Well he said he’d get an investigation going on those guys who kidnapped Rui, so that’s something at least. In the meantime he said we should check out the local Stadium. Might as well, not much else to do now...

*quick trip to the water covered and filled stadium*
Woah, there’s a lot of water in this place. For being in a desert they’re awfully cavalier about how they waste the stuff on fountains and the like...

Looks like I can’t enter the current challenge as it’s already started and the doors won’t open either... what a colossal waste of time!

*Steps outside and is immediately ambushed by 3 Team Snagem members*
Woah, holy shit, where’d you lot come from? How did you know I was here? Well I guess my little secret
that I’m an ex-member of Team Snagem is out now... as is my super epic stealing of the Snag Machine, for reasons almost certainly pertaining to horrific greed judging by that evil smile I had on my face.

Anyway, we fight, I kick their scrawny little asses, they run like little girls, and Rui takes the revelation I’m a master criminal in stride, and even calls me a “gallant prince”. If this girl was any more stupidly trusting I’d be worried for her sanity. In any case upon hearing about what the Snag Machine does she gets an idea that requires the use of Pokeballs, so I need to hunt some out. Of course, no one sells them around here though...

After a bit of invenstigation, I learn from some guy in the Pokemart that the guy who runs that bar out of the old steam engine used to sell Pokeballs, so I guess I know where my next destination is. But first, I want to check out this Pre-Gym thing...

Apparently this place is part school, as on the left side there’s a teacher and a bunch of trainers being taught by her. The teacher added a Strategy Memo to my PDA thing, which seems to function a bit like a Pokedex, listing the abilities, types, and other useless information about Pokemon I’ve met before. It’s pretty much completely pointless.

Oh this person here is Justy, who I hear is the leader of this place! And he’s forcing me to fight the trainers there whether I like it or not. Yay? Ah well, this is part of what I came here for.

Let’s see, 4 trainers in a row I have to fight. Well this’ll be kind of rough, seeing as though I don’t have much trouble beating one trainer I will get worn down over time thanks to the fact only Mario can attack most of the time...

Oh wait, I can leave to heal between battles if I want it seems. Good, that’s a bit of a relief.
They all have names themed to the type of Pokemon they use... Botan for the grass trainer, Liqui for the Water trainer, Dugo for the Ground trainer and then... Gwin the Rock trainer? Wait, what?

Well anyway, that last battle came kind of close (being able to only use Return and Snatch for several turns is not very good against rock types, but thankfully Umbreon Snatched a Defense Curl). But I did it, and so Justy congratulates me and gives me the White Herb as a reward. He tells me that he won’t battle me until I get a full team though, so I guess that’s all for now. Not exactly the same as an old fashion Gym...

No point in delaying any further I guess, I might as well go get those Pokeballs already. To the Outskirt Stand I go! Yeah that’s apparently what his bar is called. Again, not exactly ideal for reeling in the customers.

Hm, according to Willie (the first kid I fought) the Snagem guys came around here asking after me. That explains how they found me in Phenac. Now to find the rat who spilled the beans and break his arms...

Anyway, turns out the guy has the Pokeballs as expected, and even gave me some free ones since he never sells them anyway. I buy a few Great balls as well for later. Not much else to see here and the only other place I can go is Phenac City... looks like I don’t really have much choice.

Oh dear, the woman who saw me help Rui is panicking about something. Apparently those thugs are back with friends and are invading the Pre Gym for some weird reason. I had better go check things out because it seems I’m stuck here until something new happens and lord knows I don’t want to be stuck here.

Hmm it seems they moved on according to this kid outside the Pre Gym. Now they’re headed to the Mayor’s place. Guess his investigation turned up some dirt after all...

*Enters house and BOOM MASSIVE HAIR!*
HOLY SHIT! Afro to the face, not cool man! It’s also half white and half red. This guy has a giant fucking Pokeball on his head...
*He turns around*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIIIIEEEE! DEMON!

Oh, thank lord he left, and he took his weird suited freaks with him. Just those dopey thugs from earlier left here. This should be no trouble for me...

*Folly is easily beaten*
Alright, what about this other dumbass? You want some too?

*Name is Trudly*
I’m just going to call you Turdley if that’s ok.
*He has a Duskull*
... Fucking hell I had better Snatch a move.
*No luck, it just keeps Leering my defence down*
Well at least his Spinarak is toast.
*A Makuhita comes out, and suddenly Rui speaks up!*
Rui: “Jimera! It’s that one! That Pokemon! Those jerks captured me because I saw that Pokemon. I can see a black aura coming from it. They must have done something to that Pokemon!”
Yeah that’s a bit of a conclusion to jump to because of a mysterious aura only you can see. I’m more inclined to think that you’re just nuts.
*it attacks me suddenly*
Oh hell no, that’s it bitch, you are getting in my BALL!
*It OHKOs Umbreon with Vital Throw*
..... well now I can’t attack Duskull. Actually, I’m pretty sure this battle is impossible under current conditions... I don’t think any of these Pokemon have Snatchable moves actually. I’m going to have to break the rules just this once I’m afraid.
*Confusion does half damage to Duskull, and then Shadow Rush brings Espeon down to 1HP*
OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT please Leer again please Leer again
*Night Shade, Espeon faints*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*I white out, and suddenly appear... upstairs in the bedroom same house?*
Wait what?
*goes downstairs, they’re waiting for me. Both Mario and Espeon are at full health*
So wait, let me get this straight. You KO my Pokemon, then let me take a nap to restore them to full health, patiently waiting so I can try again, instead of, you know, taking me captive or killing me. Some crooks you are...
Trudly: “You should’ve stayed in beddy-bye upstairs!”
Wow. I was joking, but you guys were actually doing what I just suggested. Either I have mind control powers or these guys are so stupid it’s a miracle they can remember how to breathe.

Anyway, now I have to fight both of them again. Joy...
*Folly falls easily again*
Alright, maybe this time Makuhita won’t obliterate me so easily... Also, I need to check and see if they even have a snatchable move. If not, I’m just going to use Confusion to defeat that Duskull.
*Makuhita has Focus Energy, that’s it*
......... Screw it, as you guys saw there’s no way I can survive long enough to Snatch a move from him. I’m going to use Confusion here because otherwise I’m pretty much completely stuck.
*KOs the Duskull in 2 hits with it, Makuhita comes out again*
Alright, here goes nothing...
*Umbreon actually snatches a Focus Energy*
.... ok now I can’t pretend... oh fuck it
*reverts to an old save*
This is such bullshit. I have a plan to stop the Leering this time though...

*Redoes the part up until Folly and Trudly battles*
Alright, here we go again...
*Folly is easy dispatched*
Alright, now... I have Taunt on Umbreon right? Well I can use that to prevent Duskull from Leering all over me. That way I can hold off by using Potions and the like until I finally snatch a Focus Energy and KO it with Bite. Hopefully this works...
*Mario OHKOs his Spinarak with Return, gaining her a Micro Mushroom and the ability to use non-attacking moves*
OH HELL YES! You know what this gives me? REFLECT! This is going to be so much easier now.
*Makuhita uses MOTHERFUCKING CROSS CHOP, which gets a CRITICAL HIT, OHKOing Umbreon and killing any chance I had of winning*
... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

*Round 3*
And now I can’t even use Reflect unless I get another OHKO... this is getting ridiculous.
*gets to Makuhita again, but this time with no Micro-Mushroom*
Alright, here goes nothing...
*Taunt prevents Duskull from Leering again, preventing Makuhita’s Cross chop from KOing Mario... only for him to faint to Night Shade the next turn*
Well there goes my second faint counter. Wait, do they count on resets? Or the Micro Mushroom? Geeze, this needs clarification.
And of course there are no revives at this point in the game. Well all I can do is Snatch.
*Gets hit by Cross Chop and then Night Shade, faints*
And white out 2. I need to develop a better strategy...

*Reset and Round 4*
Alright, this time I’ve got an idea. You can buy X-items and the like at the Pokemart here. These will be my key to victory! Hopefully...
*First off against Folly, an X-Attack is used on Espeon*
Now why am I doing this against Folly you may ask? He’s easy! Well, I need Reflect if I hope to be successful, and to get access to Reflect I need to be able to OHKO a Pokemon with Mario. I’ve just been BARELY missing out on OHKOs against Folly, so an X-Attack should ensure I get an OHKO.
*Does so, re-obtains Micro Mushroom*
Alright, now for the real fight...
*First turn I use a Guard Spec*
There, that will prevent that damn Duskull from lowering my Pokemon’s defences with Leer, making Makuhita much easier.
*Makuhita comes out once Spinarak is easily dispatched*
Alright, now I’ll have Umbreon attempt to Snatch while Espeon sets up Reflect.
*Reflect allows Espeon to take a critical Cross Chop in good health*
Alright, great, things are working out now! Now to just stall until Umbreon snatches a Focus Energy...
*After a few turns Umbreon snatches a Focus Energy!*
OH HELL YES! Now I just need to take out that damn Duskull and catch Makuhita! It’s still a bit touch-and-go but I’m so close now...
*Maku-troll gets a critical on Umbreon with Cross Chop, OHKOing him*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Reset*

*Round 5*
*Goes through battle the same way until Makuhita comes out*
I was so close last time... it should work, I just need to have a little bit of luck...
*Return gets a critical hit on Makuhita and KOs it*
....... You have got to be fucking kidding me.

*Round 6*
*Alright, you know how this goes. Same deal as before until Makuhita comes out to play*
This time I’m adding a little bit to the plan. But that’s not until after I’ve Snatched Focus Energy, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves...
*Makuhita uses Focus Energy on the same turn as I use Reflect, and since Reflect gets snatched first, Focus Energy does not get snatched.*
..... Fucking hell, this is going to make this so much harder.
*Makuhita refuses to use it again, as I continue to stall*
It’s starting to look like a race to see what happens to screw me over first... does Umbreon faint, does Makuhita kill itself with recoil from Shadow Rush, do I run out of Guard Spec. or do I run out of Snatch PP?
*None of the above. Umbreon manages to Snatch a Focus Energy!*
Oh yes yes yes! Alright, a Bite for Duskull and a Great Ball for Makuhita! This time I’m going to try and do both at the same time you see, and NOT get KO’d by Makuhita before I KO Duskull.
*Makuhita is snagged by the enormous freaky energy hand of my Snag Ball!*
YES.
HELL YES.
HELL FUCKING YES.
*Duskull survives the Bite but is in no position to survive another*
VICTORY AT LAST! Who would’ve thought this would be as rough as Misty’s Starmie?

Well there we go, I finally send the stunned Trudly and Folly packing and can move onto the last part of this chapter... There is still one last Pokemon to snag here if I recall correctly!

All I need to do is find the Blue suited dude to get my Croconaw. How do I know he has it? Two reasons. One, there’s a Red, Blue and Green suited goon at each gate. That’s pretty suggestive. Two, this is actually one of the few things I remember from my previous playthroughs.

Alright, here we go! The Croconaw is here and so is a Grimer. First, let’s catch that Croconaw, since it’s definitely the most dangerous of my opponents here.
*Return crits, but still does only around 1/3 damage*
Geeze. Good thing I don’t need to KO it. Shadow Rush puts it in the yellow for me so I’m going to attempt a snag. That Grimer did a good third of Mario’s health with Sludge, so I’d like to finish that one off as soon as I can.
*It is caught and his hilariously weak Spoink comes out. Espeon is nailed by a critical Sludge though and reduced to only 2 hp*
Well I can’t afford more faints, so Super Potion go!
*After the heal the rest of the battle is easily won*
Alright there we go! And now, for no reason whatsoever, the guy we beat gives us exposition on what shadow Pokemon are. They’re Pokemon that have had the door to their hearts closed, which is something so cheesy that it’s amazing I didn’t have a heart attack just typing it.

Well that’s enough excitement for one chapter I think... let’s hope the future ones go better than this one did shall we? Until then, audios!

END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Location: Phenac City
Pokemon: 4 (only 2 used)
Pokemon Purified: 0
Pokemon Snagged: 2
Retries: 5 (I don’t think that matchup could have been much worse)

Pokemon:


Umbreon
Level 28 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Hardy – Item: None – Purified? Yes
Moves:
Bite
Secret Power
Taunt
Snatch

Umbreon here has only one restriction, but good lord is it ever a doozy of one. He’s got great bulk, enough attack power that he’s fine in that respect and a decent moveset, but it all falls apart due to that damn restriction. The problem is that not every Pokemon has a move that can be Snatched. Now, if Umbreon had some way of dealing indirect damage I wouldn’t mind as much, but right now all he has is Taunt, which has a little bit of use but still leaves him helpless against many opponents. I do expect him to get much better as time goes on though, especially once I’m able to add Toxic and Confuse Ray to his repertoire...


Mario the Espeon
Level 27 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Naughty – Item: None – Purified? Yes
Moves:
Confusion (unusable)
Return (usable because I’d be fucked otherwise)
Reflect
Helping Hand
Powerups:
Micro Mushroom
Lives remaining: 5

Well, Mario hasn’t been great, but without him I’d be completely and utterly screwed. I could only use one of his moves for most of the chapter, Return (and if I hadn’t interpreted the rules in my favour I could be out of even that), but seeing as Umbreon could only attack once in a blue moon, Mario ended up doing all the work anyway. I find it a testament to the difficulty of this challenge that a performance that would usually lead to an LVP designation instead lands him the MVP one. Additionally, those powerups are not going to be easy to come by. I haven’t run into a single Fire-type yet, and certainly have not OHKO’d any birds. I did end up getting a large number of faint counters at least though, negating my fails against Trudly. Thank lord for Spinarak being on Trudly’s team...


Shenron the Makuhita
Level 30 – Ability: Thick Fat – Nature: Unknown – Item: None – Purified? No
Moves:
Shadow Rush
????????
????????
????????

So what will become of this one? Well, that’s hard to know at this moment in time since the bugger has all his moves and even his nature hidden. I guess I’ll just have to wait to find out. I do know that he has the ability Thick Fat however, which is somewhat unfortunate but I suppose I can make use of the resistances... This is one Pokemon that’s still shrouded in mystery.


Voice the Croconaw
Level 30 – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Unkown – Item: Mystic Water – Purified? No
Moves:
Shadow Rush
????????
????????
????????

Voice’s specifics are also is obscured by the shadow in his heart, but at least there’s no ambiguity in his future with restrictions. No, it’s pretty much settled that his restrictions are going to suck. Only one move above 70BP including STAB is really going to limit his options, but the real kicker is the one where he has to use Status moves until he gets hit with a Status move himself or is hit by a STAB attack. At least it’s not as bad as Umbreon’s Snatch restriction, though at least Umbreon has better defensive stats to work with. Still, he probably will be one of the easier to use in time. I am going to have to waive that status move restriction until after he actually gets one though, as right now the only move he has access to is Shadow Rush.


Alright, I’m back and ready to move on to this Pyrite town everyone has been talking about, so let’s go to the map and... hang on, the only new place I can go to is some random Construction Lot. Why can’t I head directly to Pyrte? Oh whatever... apparently they’re building a huge tower here, in the middle of a desert, for no identifiable reason I can come up with. Sure, your money to waste I suppose...

So here we have a messy jumble of construction supplies and a few workers... why am I here again?
Worker: “This is no place for tourists to visit. Go on, scram.”
No really, he’s right; there is no reason for me to be here. There is literally nothing of importance here yet.

Aaaaaaand going there unlocked the ability to visit Pyrite Town somehow! Alrighty then...

*during travel cutscene*
You know what I just realised? The bike has no windshield for either the driver or the side car. How the hell do they manage to cross a motherfucking desert in that thing without getting sandblasted into smithereens? Or without taking a Yanma to the face for that matter?

*after arrival*
Oh looky, something is going on at the gate! Some guy called Cail is being interrogated by...
(Ack sorry there are no good pictures of him)
Is that supposed to be a cop or a toy soldier?

Anyway, seems like this kid Cail knows something about something so clearly I have to go interrogate him even though I have no idea what this something is. Well, can’t say thats atypical video game logic or anything.

Except that when I talk to him he just tells me to get lost... well that pretty much dead-ended quick. Whatever, let’s take a gander around town.

Jeeze this place is a dump. It’s like a bunch of hobos with architectural degrees got together and built an entire town from scrap metal.

*walks into what appears to be the police station only to have mr. Toy Soldier (ok so his name is Mr. Johnson whatever) crash into me and spin out like this is a Saturday morning cartoon or something.*
Apparently there are Shadow Pokemon around town, and Johnson here is reeeeal worked up over it. I can just imagine the clockwork making him go whirling in excitement.

Well the chief warns me to get out of town. So far that makes Cail, an old man, and the police chief who have all recommended I get out. That’s kind of worrisome.

Well, while we’re here might as well check out the priso- dude is that Folly and Trudly?
Holy crap it is! And they say they’re in prison of their own choice O.o Apparently they’re worried about what that massive-pokeball-afro’d freak would do to them if he found out how they failed so they turned themselves in. Honestly, I don’t blame them. That guy freaks me out too.

Guy outside Police Statiion: “Hmm! You thugs must be Miror B’s newest recruits! Well, shoo! Beat it! I don’t have any money to give to the likes of you!”
... Wow, that’s a pretty big conclusion to jump to there. And really, if I wanted your money, I don’t think telling me to “shoo” would be a very effective deterrent.

Huh, one of the buildings near the entrance has “fortune telling” emblazoned across the top of it in faded red paint. This is bound to be interesting...

Well, she seems to be your typical video game fortune teller, leading you to secrets and the like. Fateen is her name (lol) and apparently the people here consider this pink-haired, bespectacled freak to be the mother of Pyrite. Now I know why this place is so screwed up.

What I love about this place is that it’s supposedly full of thugs and yet all the houses are still unlocked and you can walk right in like you own the place with no consequences. Seriously, it’s like these people WANT to be robbed.

According to this one old fogey, the town wasn’t always so lawless, but the guy who runs the place called Duking (jeeze enough with the name puns) hasn’t been keeping order like he used to recently. I smell a plot point!

Let’s see, nothing interesting in the shop really... there’s a Hotel instead of a Pokemon center where you have to pay to restore your Pokemon to full health (oh cmon, now that’s something Gamefreak would never do! Curse you Genius Sonority, CURSE YOUUUUUUU!)

And then suddenly BOOM this “chaser” dude enters me into a battle out of nowhere when I talk to him. This time I don’t get a choice but to go with it. Not that I’m worried, what with his terrifying Sentret and Taillow being the aggressors...

Anyway, Let’s see what’s up at this hotel shall we?
*Not much*
Well, I’m not really sure what I expected to find...

*inside a random house there’s a big buff guy sitting at a desk*
Hmmm this guy looks important...
Duking: “The name’s Duking. I run the Colosseum here. If you want to enter a battle, go see the Colosseum’s receptionist. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m busy.”
Ah, so this is the guy I’ve heard so much about. Really I expected more from this conversation... and maybe a bit more respect.

Kid inside his house: “Um... I’m the lookout! Nobody is supposed to get by me! There’s nothing special behind the bookshelf!”
Ah, a future Rocket Grunt if I ever saw one! Alright, let’s see what’s behind this shelf...
*Finds a button and presses it, revealing a secret passage*
Poor dumb kid.
*it leads to a small cave with other kids in it*
Daw, they have a wittle secret hideout! Let’s talk to them! :D
*does so*
Hmmm one of them said they needed to “Snag them from those criminals”. It sounds like they’re referring to shadow Pokemon. Geeze, these kids are getting in over their heads...

*BAM cutscene upon exiting!*
Guy: “Duking! How much more are you going to take from Miror B. And his stooges?! They’re using you and the Colosseum! What is the matter with you? Have they sucked the spirit right out of you?!”
And then Duking doesn’t say crap in return. Well, now I’m really curious. Oh, and then the kid that was “guarding” the hideout tells me that the guy berating Duking was Silva, Duking’s friend. Hmmm something big is going down, and being the protagonist I’m bound to find out!

This area of town has a huge bull’s-eye shape drawn on the ground! Surely this is of no significance at all and I totally won’t have to battle my way through.
*Literally seconds later Rui warns me this is where she saw the Shadow Pokemon*
Yeah, totally didn’t see that coming. Let’s battle and catch some shiz.

Female chaser: “Well now, aren’t you quite the hottie. Why don’t you lose that wallflower with you and be my sweetie?”
Oh yeah, I told you I get all the bitches!
Rui: “Wait a second! Who are you to call me a wallflower? What about me makes me a wallflower?”
ALL OF THEM!
Female chaser: “Look at her, she’s all serious! Uncool! I’m only reasing out of boredom. A guy like him, he’s not my taste.”
D: YOU TAKE THAT BACK! YOU ARE ALL MAH BITCHES!
RuiL “Grrr! That’s it! I’m furious now! Jimera! Be a man; stomp her down!”
Wait no! You’re MY bitch not the other way around! THIS IS GOING ALL WRONG! NOOOOOOOOOoooooooo.... *sob*
*Does as told*
Me = officially whipped
Chaser after defeat: “What kind of a man battles a frail girl like me without easing up? You’re not going to win the hearts of girls that way.”
Me = super duper whipped

Oh and it turns out I was wrong and all the battles are optional. Of course I’m doing them anyway.

*First battle in the square is against a lv 30 Shadow Misdrevious*
... Well fuck.
*With Shadow Ball*
DOUBLE FUCK. And I can’t even switch Mario out! I have to catch this thing ASAP.
*Shadow Ball brings Espeon from Green to Red, granting him a Mega Mushroom!*
Well at least that’s one consolation for fainting, as I’m sure is going to happen here unless this Great Ball gets really damn lucky. Also, I switched in Omega (who was previously mistakenly referred to as Shenron) so I have something that can actually hit Misdrevious.
*Yeah snag ball doesn’t work, Mario is KO’d*
Down to 4 lives... goddamn stupid...
*Makuhita is KO’d next*
Oh for the love of... these shadow Pokemon are brutal!
*Croconaw proceeds to get confused, Tickled, hit in confusion, then get nailed by shadow ball and a Sp. Def drop, then faints*
FUCKING HELL! To make things worst I’m pretty sure there isn’t anything Snatchable in this entire battle! Alright, new rule. If Umbreon is the last man standing, HE CAN FUCKING ATTACK.
*Immediately is confused and Tickled, hurts himself in his confusion*
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! I’m getting haxed to death!
*next turn he’s reduced to 1HP, with several lowered stats, confused and staring down two enemies*
Oh for the love of god... I give up. I lose again. This was complete and utter bullshit.

I’m doing the other trainers in the square first this time...
*Accidentally KOs a Shadow Noctowl with a Critical Hit*
..... There is a way to get them later right? I was looking to catch them all this time. Well if I can’t then oh fucking well, it’s not like I can’t get Ho-oh from HGSS anyway...

Oh, a Wingull. If Mario can OHKO it... *one X-Attack used*
*Growl undoes it*
.... You have got to be fucking with me. That was the only one I had! But if I remember correctly, I can rebattle all these guys and KS never said I couldn’t use rematches... I will get another shot!

Anyway, before I fuck up again *buys some revives and Super Potions, saves*
Also I’ve not decided who Voice’s partner is yet. I won’t be using him until after Umbreon and Espeon catch up in level anyway so I’ll decide when it becomes necessary.

*Catches Skiploom, Flaffy, and Quagsire (with some difficulty)*
Oh, and I also noticed none of these guys even seem to notice I just swiped their Pokemon. You’d think they’d be a little more upset their super-powerful monster Pokemon got nabbed wouldn’t you? And you’d CERTAINLY not expect them to ask you to battle again later.

*Battles Roller Boy Lon*
Wait, that’s a shadow Slugma! Well well well, if it isn’t the good Doctor! Man, this team is filling up quickly.
*snags her easily*
Welcome to the team DR.PROTECT!

*Umbreon is trying to learn confuse ray!*
HELL YES!
*Goodbye Taunt, Hello Confuse Ray!*

Alright, now before I take on that Misdrevious again...
*heads back to Outskirt stand to buy more Pokeballs*
Oh hey, there’s Willie! Let’s see what he’s been up t-
*Gets sucked into another battle without warning*
.... Goddamnit, I didn’t come here to battle >.<
*beats him, heads back to take on Misdrevious*
Alright... here goes nothing.

*Mario is confused and Omega goes into Hypermode on the first turn*
Well this is starting well...
*Omega is OHKO’d by Shadow Ball, Mario hits himself in confusion*
.........
*Dr. Protect comes out and is promptly OHKO’d by shadow ball*
............................................
*Mario is OHKO’d by Shadow Ball, Voice enters Hypermode first turn*
...................................................................................................
*Croconaw is Tickled twice, has his Sp. Def lowered by Shadow Ball, is confused and then hurts itself in confusion*
Ok, it’s clear this game hates my guts.
*Croconaw is KO’d*
Alright, down to just Umbreon. He gets to attack now because otherwise his challenge is fucking impossible against some Pokemon.
*Bite finishes off his Skitty, leaving just Misdrevious*
Alright, now to put this fucker in a ball.
*Finally catches it with one team member remaining and after 3 freaking great balls*
This shit had better not happen again.
Rider Vant after defeat: “Wow, that was easy for you”
Don’t fucking mock me or I’ll paint the square with your fucking blood.

Alright, let’s look at the rest of town now... hmm there seems to be a power station of sorts here. Nothing much to talk about now though except a lot of gears spinning around and the demented guy running them.

There’s a locked building here. Surely, this has nothing to do with the shady dealings in this town. No, definitely there is nothing suspicious about this at all.

This bridge here appears to be spanning a bottomless chasm. It is made from rusting scrap metal. Does anyone think this thing is safe?

Hmmm, this big ratty dome must be the Colosseum. I don’t think I’m going to go in there yet though... That Misdrevious battle clearly shows I need to train up my team a little bit first, so I had better do that for a little bit first. Thankfully, everyone in Duel Square (that bull’s-eye place) can be rematched as much as I want.

*rematches the guy with the Noctowl and runs out of friggin’ Pokeballs, but also gets a Feather from his Wingull*
Well at least I got the feather, but now I need to go buy more shit... Geeze my money is getting low. I have no idea how I’m going to pay for those colognes when I get Swablu.

Anyway, I’ve decided Croconaw’s partner is going to be Slugma, since they cover each other’s weaknesses pretty well.

*The guy who had DR.PROTECT has replaced him with a Numel which Mario promptly 2HKOs*
Yes! That’s 1 towards actually being able to use my STAB Psychic moves! Of course, I still need to find 4 more Fire types AND be sure to 2HKO them... this could be tough.

*Mario wants to learn Swift!*
Hmmm well this is generation 3 so it’s not special, meaning it’s weaker than Return... Helping hand might actually have more utility. I think I’ll pass.

*After a while, all the shadow Pokemon are next to purified and I finally catch that Noctowl with DR.PROTECT’s Yawn. Mario also gains two Faint Counters and another feather*

Alright, lv 31 for both Umbreon and Espeon and the others are as useful as I can make them atm. Alright, time to go check out this Colosseum and see what’s what!

Guy at registration desk: “I’ve heard rumors that if you win the challenge, you get an awesome Pokemoon like that Cail did...”
Aha! Well now we’re getting somewhere. Maybe we’ll learn something about these shadow Pokemon if I win this. I just hope I’m up for it at my current level. Well, only one way to find out!

*the registration clerk has bad news*
Ah, but it would seem we’re too late to enter at the moment. Well, I guess I’ll do the next best thing then; shake Cail down until he either answers my questions or bleeds from his ears!

*Visits Cail at the town entrance*
Well, he said that if I want to see the Pokemon, I can. In a battle of course.
Smart ass.

*Snags his Shadow Furret and otherwise kicks his sorry ass*
And after defeat he finally drops the name “Shadow Pokemon”, though I’ve been using it for a while. Apparently Miror B. Is handing them out to People who win at the Colosseum. No shit eh? I already figured that much out. Stupid... ah well, might as well get on with my original plan now. Maybe that burned enough time.

Wait! Cutscene! I can see Miror B. Reporting to Sephiroth-in-a-Tutu! And... they just spoil the entire scheme for us right here and there. Though it’s more like reiterating what an idiot could’ve figured out: Duking’s been pussy whipped, they’re handing out Shadow Pokemon to contest winners, and nothing else much new. This was totally pointless.

*Heads up to colosseum where a dude in a lab coat suddenly stumbles out of the Power Plant*
Oh my god, what NOW?
.
.
.
What? I should check on him? Oh if you insist...

Well he just says that shit’s going on inside. I guess I had better investigate.
*Gear spinney dude is laid out too*
Well apparently Silva came in and stole a gear in order to shut down the Colosseum, so now Mr. Spinney here is asking me to go find the gear for him. Well, I guess it serves my own purposes to get the Colosseum running anyway so I might as well...

Now the question is... where the fuck is that gear? I guess I’ll ask around for clues...
*everyone just says the same shit as before*
Well shit. I don’t know even where to start... wait, there’s a fortune teller in town isn’t there? I thought she was just some unimportant item finder, but now that I think of it I bet I’m supposed to ask her where that crappy gear is. Great, I just love freaky fortune tellers....

Also, despite the Colosseum being out of power, the PC and healing machine are both strangely operational. There is only one explanation for this. ALEINS!
.
.
.
What?

Anyway, it seems I was right; she knows why I’m here!
Fateen: “However, you’ve come at a most inconvenient time. I am busy with this customer, as you can see. This time, you must find what you seek yourself. Fwofwofwo.”
.... Fuck. You. I have half a mind to see how well you can “Fwofwofwo” with your glasses shoved down your scrawny throat.

*combs the town for the gear*
Well it doesn’t look to be in the town anywhere... maybe I can find it at one of the other places I’ve been. I’ll start with the Construction Lot, and work my way back towards the Outskirt Stand.

*The second I get there I see it*
Well what do you know, there it is in the corner being suspiciously shiny. The workers around here even comment on Silva coming here to drop it off. Well, that took a lot less time than I feared it would. I seem to remember being stuck on this part my first time playing through this...

*Heads back to windmill power station*
Ah, Duking is here talking with Mr. Spinneyhead.
*Slots gear back into place*
Geeze, that thing is huge. How did I carry that all this way? I’m not sure that’d even fit in my bike, let alone my pockets... Well anyway, now Duking (who wouldn’t give me the time of day before) is singing my praises to the high heavens. But he’s not grateful enough to leave it at that. No, he asks another damn favor of me. But it turns out he’s just asking me to win the Colosseum battle to see what’s going on, which is what I was going to do anyway. Thank lord, I thought I was being sent on another fetch quest...

Alright, enough dilly-dallying. Let’s get this shit done with. Entering the competition was painless thankfully. Now... let’s get this battle on!

*First battle is easily won*
Alright, this shit is going good so far. Hopefully the others will be just as easy...
*Second is even easier than the first*
Well the fact that they don’t have any overpowered Shadow Pokemon really is helping.
Also, it seems I’m healed between battles so I don’t even need to worry about being worn down! This shit is easy!
*Next battle is slightly harder, but gets Mario 1 step closer to a Fire Flower*
Yes! I want to be able to use Confusion so damn bad...
*The final is next... against a huge freak of nature body builder*

Serioiusly, how does that guy even walk properly?
*His unevolved Pokemon and level 34 fucking Delibird are decidedly underwhelming*
Yeah, you lot are going to have to do better than that to beat me.
*Gets TM06 Toxic for winning*
Oh HELL yes! This is so many times better than any Shadow Pokemon! Now Umbreon can really deal out the pain, even when he can’t Snatch anything!
*forgets Secret Power, learns Toxic*
Booyah motherfuckers!

Alright, so now what? I beat the Colosseum... well I guess I might as well leave. Maybe they’re waiting outside...
*blocking the other side of the bridge is one of those silly ninja suited dorks working for Miror B.*
Perfect! Now let’s see where this goes.
*The locked building of course you dumbasses. Where else?*
Alright, here we go...
Female Ninja freak: “This guy... He’s that Jimera guy that Miror B.’d been carrying on about!”
Aw shiz, looks like the jig is up. Looks like it’s battle time.

Also apparently the ninja freaks are called “Cipher Peons”. Who knew?
*Snatches the Shadow Yanma that guy who led me here had, creams the rest of his Bug themed team*
Well that was easy.
*Suddenly Duking and the kids burst in out of nowhere*
Wait where did you come from? Oh you were worried about me? Yeah, sure Mr. Busy. Sure.
Well anyway, we find out why Duking was so complicit; they kidnapped his Plusle. Great, so now I’m on a rescue mission. Why can’t anyone deal with their own damn problems?

Hey, there’s a save spot over there and a healing machine. I should go hea-
*is ambushed by a roller kid working for Miror B.*
Oh fucking hell.
*Smushes his weakass bird Pokemon*
Booyah, Mario OHKO’d his Tailow! Feather number 3 get! Looks like Mario is staying unswitchable for a while yet though... rarely he rarely OHKOs anything with Return, so feathers are freakin’ rare.

Hmmm looks like there’s a lot of ground to cover in this place. Suddenly, I’m very glad for the easily accessible healing and save spot...

*Examines a vending machine that’s bent, has its glass broken, and which has its snacks spread all over the floor*
Disembodied Voice of Exposition: “The vending machine is out of order.”
No really, yah think?

Hrmmm I need more supplies, Great Balls and Potions especially. I think I’m going to have to leave for some supplies then come back later.

*Goes out and buys some Super Potions and Great Balls*
Alright, that’ll help. Now... back to battling all the random thugs in here!
Speaking of which, Miror B. Sure does have a wide variety of people serving him... Bodybuilders, foxy Chasers, kids on roller blades... unfortunately, they all seem to have been taken from the same pool as Team Rocket’s recruits. Poor villains just can’t seem to catch a break yah know?

*Finds 5 Great Balls in a chest*
.... Why did I go and waste all my damn money D:

*Fights a female Hunter that goes on and on about dancing. Turns out all her Pokemon have a dancing move: Oddish with Petal Dance, Sandshrew with Sword Dance, and Horsea with Petal Dance*
Oh god, she wasn’t kidding when she said her Pokemon could dance D:
*Still creams her*

Oh god no is that...

Shit. It’s a female Body Builder. WHY GENIUS SONORITY WHY??????

Oh hey, I just made it to the roof! There’s a penthouse sorta thing up here, so I’ll check that out before I head into that ominous looking cave off to the right...

Hey what’s this? It’s that Silva guy, and he seems to be being harassed by two pretty girl- er, I mean, two ruthless thugs! I guess I should help him out of this bind.
.
.
.
Alterior motives? What are you talking about, I just want to feel u- I MEAN CHAT UP those girls so they’ll let him go. Yeah, that’s all.

Aw darn, looks like I didn’t even get the chance, as one of them just jumped into a battle with me before I could so much as open my mouth :( . Oh well, now I just have to steal her bizarrely underleveled Remoraid (level 20? Why?).

*Easily beats her Pokemon and catches her Remoraid, reducing its HP using Umbreon’s Confuse Ray and Toxic.*

Alright, so is the other one going to rumble with me too? I do get ALL the bitches after all. ALL OF THEM.

*She battles me with a much more threatening level 33 Shadow Mantine*
Ok, that’s a lot scarier than a lv 20 Remoraid. Hopefully this turns out alright...
*It deals a lot of damage with Bubblebeam and forces me to use two Super Potions on Mario, but gets snagged without too much trouble afterwards*
Well that was annoying, forcing me to use my precious potions.
*Mario ends up fainting anyway due to being the only fucking one ever targeted*
*sigh* well at least I have faint counters this time. Down to 1 of those, 3 lives.
*After that the rest of the battle goes alright*
Well that was royally annoying.
.
.
.
Wait did one of them just say “Ultra-super fire dash!” as she ran away? The flying fuck?

Alright Silva, let’s head ba-
*BOOM MIROR. B AMBUSH!*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
.
.
.
Oh wait it’s just on the video screen. Thank lord... I guess he’s just trying to taunt me. If that’s even a he...

Oh, there’s an EIN File on the counter here as well, with more exposition on Shadow Pokemon I couldn’t give less of a shit about. Nothing I didn’t know already.

Well, according to Silva the guy guarding the entrance to the cave is a real bruiser...

*snort* god is Silva ever a wimp.

Cmere big boy, let’s see what yah got!
*What he’s got is a lv 33 shadow Quilfish*
Alright, I’ll just be taking that!
*chucks great ball when it’s in yellow*
Gotch-
*Breaks out on final shake*
FUUUUUUUUCKK YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*two tries later it stays in*
YES! Alright, now to just clean up his Linoone and then I can heal and head into the cave! Here we go!
*Wins the battle*
Wait, the guy is letting me through because he thought the battle was fun? Even though I stole his Pokemon? Yup, sounds right to me, no way this can be a trap!
*Frolics into dark, spooky cave with a stupid grin on his face*

Lalalalala la la laaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGG!
*THUD*

END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Location: Pyrite Cave
Pokemon: 5
Pokemon Purified: 0 (4 ready for purification once I finally get to the damn place where I can)
Pokemon Snagged: 13
Retries: 6 (Well this is looking to become a theme)

Pokemon:


Umbreon
Level 34 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Hardy – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Bite
Toxic
Confuse Ray
Snatch

It’s strange how Umbreon can be so useless and so useful at the same time. Attacking wise, it’s pretty much utterly worthless, especially since I got other teammates that can hit ghost types. And yet, its bulk and support options make it indispensible. Confuse Ray buys my team the time it oh so frequently needs, with half of it being slow and the other half being unable to attack immediately. Toxic gives me a way to wear down Pokemon I don’t want to focus on yet, and Snatch can help prevent the opponent from boosting to the point where they’re too much to handle. It can take hits far, far better than any other Pokemon on the team too, meaning he’s the one member I can actually rely on to stay alive when it counts. And yet, his attack power is pathetic and in the harsh double battle environment, his stalling tactics aren’t particularly helpful. Still, I can’t help but to love him. Damn you Umbreon for just being such a darn cool Pokemon. Damn you.


Mario the Espeon
Level 34 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Naughty – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Confusion (unusable)
Return (usable because I’d be fucked otherwise)
Reflect
Helping Hand
Powerups:
Micro Mushroom
Fire Flower: 2/5
Feather: 3/10
Lives remaining: 3 (+1)

Mario’s certainly been the most proactive member of my team, being the only one that can attack right off the bat that isn’t slower than molasses in January. Funnily enough, he actually has better Attack than Umbreon has, and thanks to its higher level more than any of my other teammates have either. As such, Mario actually does a decent job as an attacker, and Reflect is absolutely invaluable as support as well. The biggest problem with him is how terrified I am of having him faint all the time, and not being able to switch him out means every time I send him into battle I’m taking a risk. Getting those powerups is proving slow going as well. I have no idea how I’m going to reliably get the Mega Mushroom again (after having lost it by blacking out against that Misdrevious), but thankfully I don’t think he’d be able to use it much anyway since Psychic is off limits no matter what (why does it have to have a secondary effect? WHY?). Speaking of secondary effects, easily the most annoying of his restrictions is that without the Fire Flower he’s forbidden from using pretty much any attack other than Return. Fire types are freaking rare, so even though getting a 2HKO isn’t difficult, when I’ve only run into 3 of them since the first chapter and I had to catch one of those... well I wonder just how long it’s going to take before I can actually use Confusion.


Omega the Makuhita
Level 30 – Ability: Thick Fat – Nature: Hasty – Item: None – Purified? No – Gender: Male
Moves:
Shadow Rush
Focus Energy (unusable)
Vital Throw (unusable)
Cross Chop (unusable)

Well I can sum up Omega in pretty much one word: useless. I’d prefer if I could elaborate though, such as “useless sack of shit that faints at the sight of its own shadow” or “Weakest lump of fail this side of the universe”. Yeah, in case you couldn’t guess, he’s weak as all fuck. He has no bulk to speak of, is slower than herd of turtles slogging through maple syrup, and hits like an anemic 4 year old. He can only use Shadow Rush, so he enters Hyper Mode with annoying regularity and can’t even make use of his attacking typing thanks to his restriction. Really, the only saving grace he has at the moment is that I’m not required to use him for anything. I know for a damn fact what evolution restriction I’m going with now and you can bet on your life that I’m not suffering with a weak-ass Makuhita for any longer than I have to.


Voice the Croconaw
Level 30 – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Rash – Item: Mystic Water – Purified? No – Gender: Male
Moves:
Shadow Rush
Scary Face
Bite
Surf

Voice is a mix of good and bad. The good is that his Surf just murders the crap out of shit. The bad news is pretty much everything else. He usually spends several turns sitting around waiting for someone to target him with a Status move or STAB attack, making stupid faces at everyone in sight. Once he finally is able to do something, he can plow away with Surf... assuming the opponents don’t resist it. If they do, then you can expect him to do jack shit with Bite and Shadow Rush. But hey, at least he’s not a fucking Makuhita. Oh, and his partner in crime is DR.PROTECT. Thank lord Surf doesn’t hit allies in Double Battles in generation III.


DR.PROTECT the Slugma
Level 30 – Ability: Flame Body – Nature: Relaxed – Item: none – Purified? No – Gender: Female
Moves:
Shadow Rush
Yawn
Rock Throw
Flamethrower

The good doctor is a real nice gal and a really nice surprise for me as well (EW! Not like that you sick fucks!). She’s slow and takes hits about as well as Omega does, but I’ll be damned if she isn’t the most useful Shadow Pokemon I have at the moment. Putting opponents to sleep with Yawn is just as useful as you’d expect, and her Flamethrower packs a pretty good wallop, with very valuable super-effective coverage to boot. Still, she could definitely be better. I really do look forward to purifying her and gaining access to her full abilities.


Owwwwwwwwww who put that boulder there D: that’s the last time I skip around in a dark cave.
.
.
.
What?

Anyway, there are a lot of dead ends in here with items in them. I kind of panicked when I first saw all the paths... at least until I realized all of them but one went nowhere.

*Mario slowly smacks an Anorith to death with Return*
Alright, so maybe it wasn’t that slowly. A 3HKO wasn’t bad for being resisted. Anyway, Anorith is part bug type so now I’m back up to 2 faint counters :D

Oh, what’s this? A Shadow Meditite? I don’t mind if I do!
*Snag*
For once a Shadow Pokemon that didn’t give me a headache when I was catching it!
Also, the guy had a Numel which Mario 2HKO’d! That’s 3/5 towards a Fire Flower now! Just two more just two more...

*Next area has 2 staircases leading onwards*
Sorry, did I say all the branching paths dead ended? I was wrong. I hate branching paths...

Oh, and one of them dead ends. The guy at the end of the path even goddamn MOCKS you for it.
And he also uses all Lotad.
Stupid wannabe. Why would you even want to be like that freak anyway?

So what did I get for my trouble going all the way down that dead end?
3 Ultra Balls. Worth it?

*Heads down other set of stairs and emerges in... a sewer?*
At least I think it’s a sewer... though it’s more like an underground lake with decaying steel and concrete bridges all over. Just what the hell is this place? And why do so many of the bridges have the middles inexplicably missing? It’s not like they wore out and fell down; the edges where they end are PERFECTLY SMOOTH. Someone MADE broken bridges on PURPOSE. This place just makes NO FUCKING SENSE!

Random Rider: “Fufufufu, Welcome to here!”
THAT’S NOT HELPING!
*Snags her Shadow Dunsparce*
THAT’S WHAT YOU GET BITCH!
*Reaches the end of a long bridge only to find another staircase and branching path*
Oh joy. Which of these is going to dead end this time hmmm? At least there’s a PC and Healing machine here so I don’t have to trek all the way back to the main base to heal.
*Branching path turns out to be another artificially broken bridge*
... I’m not sure which is worse. Pointless dead ends or ridiculous broken bridges?

Roller Boy: “What have you done to my Pokemon!?!?!?”
... errr I’ve fainted them. Yah know, they’re out cold but otherwise ok? Have you ever battled before? Actually, that would explain a lot if you haven’t...

Great, another split path. So, which direction is going to dead end on me this time?

*before heading down the first staircase, a Hunter challenges me*
Hang on... is that? It is! It’s the Shadow Swablu! It looks like I’m about to get the final addition to my team here!
*Catches it with relative ease*
Damn, Dr.Protect and Voice really do make a great tag team. And they’re my best bet for catching Pokemon too thanks to Yawn. Alright, now to head back to the PC and get Swablu in this party!

*Does so*
Alright, now to see which of these is a dead end...
*They both lead into the sewer area, but one of them after that leads to a dark tunnel*
yeah, that tunnel looks awfully important to me. I think I’ll go the other direction first since that one is probably going straight to Miror B.

Also, there’s a vertical pipe the width of a freaking house down here! What the hell IS this place?

*Goes down passage that doesn’t lead to a deep dark tunnel, and now THIS place forks*
Female Chaser: “Don’t you people have any sense of direction? I bet you’re having trouble getting around in this cave!”
Actually no, finding my way isn’t hard. The annoying part is all the time I’m wasting on dead ends.
.
.
.
BITCH!
*runs away*

*Decides to try out the dark tunnel after all*
Judging by all the forks on the other route, it’s just going to be a deceptive dead end anyway...
*enters and is greated by Miror B.’s theme music and a bunch of dancing Ludicolo*
.... errr maybe not? I guess I will explore the rest of the area first then. I’m just glad I wasn’t sucked into a battle with him the moment I stepped through the door...

*turns around and heads back to the branching sewer system path*
Alright, going left first
*Leads to a crapload of item chests*
HELL YEAH! Treasure trove!
*each one holds a single vitamin*
.... you deceived me you damn chests. At least I can sell these for coin when I need it I suppose...

*A Cipher Peon waits in the other direction*
Ah a real fight maybe!
*not really*
Psshhh I thought you guys were the elite troops here. Lame.

Oh, and she was guarding a dead end. For real. That’s right, put one of your elite troops to gaurd the super-important dead end. Real top priority yah know? Anyway, let’s go trash Miror B. now. The sooner I can be rid of that freak, the better.

Alright, this battle is going to be rough. Thankfully I have a few Hyper Potions. I’ll start out with my weaker Pokemon so Mario and Umbreon can hopefully live longer when I really need them. I’ve saved and healed, so now all that’s left to do is smash this clown!

Also, why does he have a stupid little stage in the middle of a cave? What a freak...
Miror B.: “Stop the music”
*Silence*
... Ok, shit just got real.
*He starts it up again 3 seconds later as the battle begins*
Nevermind.

*He sends out two Ludicolo, level 29 and 30 while I lead with Voice and DR.PROTECT*
Alright, Yawn should take the stronger one out of commission. Voice is just going to have to stall with Scary Face until he gets hit by something useful though. After one of them is asleep, I’ll just all out on the awake one.
*They use motherfucking Rain Dance. Both of them*
... Well I’m fucked.
*DR.PROTECT goes against the previous planned strategy and just Yawns at everything since her Flamethrower won’t be doing shit*
Alright, might as well put asleep as many of his Pokemon as I can while Voice pounds away with Shadow Rush (he got hit by a Water Gun last turn)
*Miror B. avoids falling having his lv 29 Ludicolo fall asleep by switching it out*
FUUUUCK! But hey, at least I ended up yawning at the new one as it came in too! You’re going to have to keep on switching motherfucker!
*DR.PROTECT finally gets nailed by a Water Gun, getting OHKO’d. Voice gets hit by Leech Seeded too*
But hey, at least the level 31 fell asleep! Of course it has Rain Dish so if I ever hope to kill it I had better switch Voice out now so Leech Seed doesn’t keep healing it.
*Swablu comes in place of DR.PROTECT, just to bide some time. Omega also comes in so he can die. No really, that’s why*
Maybe he’ll get a hit in before he gets KO’d. Probably not though.
*one of his Ludicolos is asleep and the other uses Rain Dance so Omega actually does get a hit in, surprisingly enough.*
Alright, well might as well keep Shadow Rushing with everything for now.
*Omega gets wasted with Water Gun the next turn*
Yeah no surprise there. Voice, get back in here!
*Voice goes into Hypermode, depriving me of the KO I so desperately needed against his lv 30 Ludicolo*
Oh for the love of god. SHADOW RUSH! EVERYONE MOTHERFUCKING SHADOW RUSH!
*Swablu finally KO’s his lv 30 Ludicolo, and he switches in the lv 29 from earlier, which is promptly KO’d by Voice*
Fuck yeah! Two down! Oh, btw, Swablu is seeded by the lv 31 Ludicolo but I don’t give much of a fuck at this particular point in time. I’m taking the other one down first, seeing as it’s only lv 28 and not constantly regaining health. SHADOW RUSH EVERYTHING MY PRETTIES!
*Swablu finally gets KO’d by Dive from one of the Ludicolo, Umbreon comes out to help finish this*
That annoying leech seeding and Rain Dish abusing Ludicolo is going to be tough to take down. Thankfully though, Umbreon has just what I need... I need to Snatch first though
*The rain ended last turn, so they both use Rain dance. Voice lands a critical Shadow Rush on the lv 28 Ludicolo, almost KOing it*
Alright, now to screw some shit up!
*The lv 31 Ludicolo is Toxic poisoned, screwing any hope of long term survival it has, whereas the lv 28 Ludicolo is finished off*
Alright, that’s the way to do it!
*Miror B.’s Shadow Sudowoodo comes out*
Alright, now that Ludicolo seeded Umbreon and I don’t like that, so I’m switching him out for Mario. In the meantime, I forsee Voice biting the big one soon. He’s down to just 15 hp, but he can still lay on the pain in the meantime!
*Voice gets seeded this time, but also lands a critical Shadow Rush on his remaining Ludicolo. Voice faints at the end of the turn (brining Mario back in) but the Ludicolo is poised to die from Toxic in a couple turns as well*
Alright, now to limit the damage this Sudowoodo can do. Reflect and Confuse Ray should do the job there.
*The damn Ludicolo Leech Seeds Umbreon again, but at least Sudowoodo hits itself in confusion*
Alright I’ve had enough of this Ludicolo. Time to die. Also, Toxic will make that Sudowoodo easier to snag.
*Return finishes off the final Ludicolo, while Toxic whittles away at Sudowoodo’s health. Low kick does decent damage to Umbreon in the meantime though*
Alright, a little health for Umbreon and a bit of damage via Return...
*a “bit” of damage is right; it barely scratches Sudowoodo. Thankfully, it hits itself in confusion anyway*
Alright, I had better start chucking Pokeballs at it before it faints now.
*First Ultra Ball thrown catches it!*
Alright! Well, it would seem your 15 minutes of fame are up Miror. B.! Through wind, Rain, and more Rain, my team delivered! Even if I did take 66% casualties (which was kind of by design! Honest!).

Miror B. “One of these days, I will take great pleasure in kicking you about with my elegant dance steps!”
That is so ludicrous on so many levels I don’t even know what to say to it. Now I know why you almost exclusively use Ludicolo...

So yeah, he beats it out of there while we hear Plusle cry in the distance, now that the music is off. But before I go save the poor thing, there appears to be loot on the ground!
*It’s TM 49 Snatch*
.... This was a last ditch effort to torment me wasn’t it? Well, it worked.
*A Macho Brace and Ein File are both found in the room where Plusle is being held*
More useless shit. And for some reason Plusle is standing right in the middle of the light cast by 3 spotlights. Apparently Miror B. isn’t the only one with a taste for the limelight...

And suddenly, in bursts Duking who either has the most amazing timing imaginable or was secretly shadowing me the whole way. The guy is pretty damn stealthy for someone who appears to be half mountain.

*After heading back to his office with Silva in tow*
Alright, so he’s clearly really thankful. And then out of nowhere Plusle “asks” to go with me. Free Pokemon I’m never going to use? Eh, sure why not?
*Exchanges phon-er... PD*A numbers with Duking*
Alright, now is that everything around here? Where do I go next?

*Talks to Silva*
Silva: “Deep beneath his town is another town that goes by the name “The Under”. Miror B.’s mob may have been smuggling Shadow Pokemon in from there.”
So is that where we go next then?

Apparently the kids in their secret hideout are trying to network with other towns to gather information on the stuff going on with the Shadow Pokemon.
.
.
.
Where the fucking HELL are these kids’ parents? A spy network on a dangerous criminal organization? I thought these kids were in over their heads before but this... damn kids. You scary.

*I go into the police station to see how the local force is reacting to the news and Officer Johnson does his run-into-you-and-spin-like-a-cartoon-character shtick again*
Wow that was pointless. And all he had to say was that Miror B. had left town, which the Chief already friggin’ knew. Good god, no wonder this place was crime ridden with this guy being the law on the streets.

Oh, and to top it off, there’s this:
Johnson: “I’m pretty sure that Miror B. hightailed it out of fear of me.”
Yeah keep telling yourself that. It must be nice to have absolutely no mental foundation in reality.

Wait, there’s something sparkling on the table here... it’s a Jail Key? The hell? Ok, I have to figure out what this does.
*it opens the doors to the two cells up top, and probably Trudly and Folly’s cell too but they won’t let you b/c they’re convinced Miror B. is still out to get them*
Dude. I just let a criminal out of Jail. I got TM 46 Theif out of it. This is so wrong on so many levels. I didn’t even get scolded for it.

Well I might as well leave town, doesn’t seem to be anything left for me here. Also, I want to be far away from here when the police realize they’re down a prisoner.

*Fateen suddenly steps out of her shop and calls us as we’re about to leave*
Alright, I guess I’ll find out what I’m to do next in a second here.
*It zooms in on her a bit, and for the first time I see she has big gold stars painted on her sunglasses*
.... Really?

Anyway, she tells us the key to free the Shadow Pokemon is up to the north and Rui actually knows what the fuck she’s talking about. Apparently, there’s only one place “up north” and it happens to be where her Grandpa lives. Go figure. Also, she was going to go visit him before she got mixed up in this. Also he used to be a famous Pokemon trainer. GO FUCKING FIGURE.

So anyway, I guess we’re on our way to Agate Town then, which appears to be the only green place in all of Orre. Why this place is suddenly green and full of water (far behond the extent of a mere oasis) but surrounded by miles of desert isn’t really explained, but whatever.

*talks to the guy at the front entrance*
So, this place is basically a retirement resort for ace trainers. It looks so peaceful here, so I can see why they’d want to settle here. However, I’m sure that behind the scenes there’s a lot of nasty backbiting over who gets to settle here. Who gets to decide who’s an ace enough trainer to stay here hmmm?

*Finds a hidden cave with a Silk Scarf and 2 Ultra Balls in it*
Oh hell yeah, Mario could really use this scarf!
*He wears it proudly, except he looks even gayer than he did before now. And he’s always been pink*

*nothing of interest in the Pokemon center*
Oh hey, look at this old lady with a Mightyena!
Old lady: “Why, if it isn’t Rui! It’s been too long! Is that young man your boyfriend? Ahahaha! I know why you’re back! You came to introduce your boyfriend to Eagun (her grandfather), didn’t you? Well, Rui, I should introduce my boyfriend to you. You see? My boyfriend is this Mightyena here! Hohoho.”
D: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! CANNOT UNTHINK!

*A whole bucket of brain bleach later*
Hm, apparently there’s a daycare in this town, not that I’ll be using it...

Oh hey, but in the daycare is the Name Rater! Now there’s something I WILL be using, seeing as none of my Pokemon have been nicknamed yet. Let’s see, first the names I don’t get to choose...
*Names Espeon Mario as intended, but apparently you can’t nickname unpurified Pokemon*
Oh well... at least I can name my Umbreon! Now what’s a good name for you... hmmm...
*Names him Klepto*
Fitting no?

*Gets a free berry from one old guy, then battled another old guy who, for a retired Ace Trainer, was pretty damn easy, and then also finds an Exp. Share hidden near a stream.*

*enters Pokemart and finds out that the Colognes are actually a lot cheaper than I remembered*
Oh thank lord, only 800 poke for a medium value scent. I can afford that for dear Swablu here, who just happened to go into hyper mode for the first time in that last battle. I won the battle on the third turn after it went into it though, so I can’t use the cologne on her yet... In fact, I can’t even buy it. Apparently I need a Cologne Case first, and I have no idea where that comes from...

*Finally, I enter Rui’s grandparents’ house. Her grandfather looks like freaking Merlin or something*
Oh and her grandma’s name is Beluh. Not a typical woman’s name that...
*Suddenly in the middle of the aimless conversation a guy comes barging in saying there’s an emergency in the Relic Forest*
GASP! I guess we’ll just have to do something about that then! But grandpa beats me to it, jumping into action like a man a third his age. Damn, I hope I’m that spry when all my hair turns white.

Hmmm it’s one of those ninja look-alikes, the Cipher Peons. It looks like we’re about to find out a little bit more about Shadow Pokemon in a few minutes here...

*snerk* Apparently, this girl got beaten by Rui’s Grandpa. Seems as if someone hadn’t heard that this place is full of ace trainers, eh?
Peon after defeat: “Why are all the villagers here so absurdly strong?”
Yup, someone didn’t do their GODDAMN RESEARCH!

*Klepto is trying to learn Faint Attack*
Don’t mind if I do!
*On the way to the Pokemon Center to heal between battles, I discover another hidden route leading to a Quick Claw*
Aha, DR.PROTECT will like this a lot I think.

*Just as I am about to exit the other side of the tunnel a Ninja Peon falls in front of me out of nowhere*
Peon: “Boo! Fufufu! Scared you, didn’t I?”
Yeah, but only once I got a glimpse of your ugly mug!
*OOOooooo BUUUUURRRRN!*

*Mario is trying to learn Psybeam*
Yeah, might as well. Can’t use it just yet, but for when I can... well it’s better than Confusion is.

*enters into what must be the Relic Forest, where Eagun is battling what looks to be high ranking Cipher agent*
Alright, here comes the big one. Dumbass Cipher dude keeps calling Eagun old, but apparently Eagun was once “the most powerful trainer!”, hinting that he was once a league champion. This should be funny to watch.
*He sends out his level 50 Pikachu against his lv 38 Shadow Hitmontop... and promptly loses. Maybe using nothing but Quick Attack on an Intimidate wielding Pokemon wasn’t a good idea?*
Wow, that was a fail. I guess I had better clean up now.

*First he sends out his Geodude and Wynaut. I promptly smash his Wynaut but that brings out his much more threatening Hitmontop to replace it*
So far so go-
*Swablu gets Ko’d, Voice gets KO’d*
... shit. I have better catch this guy quick.
*DR.PROTECT also goes down in two hits*
Fuck fuck fuck FUCK!
*Klepto manages to snatch a Focus Energy, allowing him to Faint Attack the Geodude*
Alright, I got its health in the red, time to snag....
*it breaks out of the Ultra Ball and then Triple Kicks Kelpto down to 1/3 health. At least the Geodude goes down*
FUCK!
*Tries again, this time it works. Just his Clamperl left*
Thank friggin’ lord, I thought I was so fucked there.
*Clamperl is dealt with via a couple of Helping Hand boosted Faint Attacks, but it takes Mario down to the yellow with Waterfall before it can be KO’d*
Geeze, that was a close damn match.

Cipher Peon: “I had been instructed to capture Celebi, then destroy the relic stone, but matters have not gone according to plan.”
Shit, you were trying to capture Celebi with a Hitmontop? Dude, you got off EASY!
Continues: “I will have to inform Dakim, who is on Mt. Battle.”
Oh, well now I know where to go next, thanks. Geeze you guys are stupid fucks.
Hmm, looks like he dropped an EIN File, I guess I’ll just pick tha-
*nope, going back to Grandpa’s home first. Cut scene rules.*
.... Fuck you.

Anyway, apparently Rui’s useless ex-champion Grandpa doesn’t actually know shit about Shadow Pokemon, but at least Grandma is smart enough to link it them to Celebi and the Relic Stone. Now, can I go purify my Pokemon already?

What? A Stone Tablet now? Oh for the love of god, how much longer is this going to take? And I have to go talk to some dumbass old guy called Selinor by the Pokemart too? I’m seriously starting to lose my damn patience here...

Oh and to compound my problems, this Senilor guy I’m supposed to see about Celebi appears to have Alzheimer’s.
Senilor: “Ah, you’re Eagun’s beloved Torchic! No, wait...”
Yeah, this is going nowhere fast.

Actually, he remembered after all. Apparently I’ll need something called the Time Flute before I can encounter Celebi, and presumably that’s what I need to purify my Pokemon. So I can’t purify them yet. God. Damn. IT! TO HELL!

*sigh* Maybe if I report back to Rui’s grandparents they’ll know something...
*Turns out they found the tablet, but it’s basically just a goddamn summary of what Senilor just told us*
..... Motherfucking waste of time. *grumble grumble*

*As I’m about to leave I get an email from Duking*
Oh my god, now what???
*Apparently Mt. Battle is under attack, what a motherfucking surprise*
Wow, this game is really pounding shit into my head here. Yeah, I figured as much already what with that dumbass Peon spilling the beans. Is everyone but me completely useless in this game?
.
.
.
Actually, I think I know the answer to that question...

Before I go, I’m going to check out the Relic Forest and see if there’s anything of importance I didn’t get a chance to see before I got dragged out. And no, that stupid EIN file I saw on the ground doesn’t count.

Guy in the forest: “Is that right? Those crooks have raided Mt. Battle?! ...I get it! They’re going after Vander on Mt. Battle! I’ve heard rumors that Vander has the ability to summon Celebi!”
Oh thank lord, maybe I have only one more obstacle to overcome before I can get these guys Purified. The issue of course is that I’ll have to fight more enemies first and my Shadow Pokemon are quickly falling behind... hell, I lost two of them against that Fun Old Guy in town. I’m not looking forward to this...

Anyway, might as well pick up that stupid EIN File...
*Reads it and has a stunned revelation*
... I... I don’t need the Time Flute to purify my Pokemon! Celebi just speeds up purification. I can use the Relic Stone to finish purifying right now! HOLY SHIT YES PURIFYING BINGE GO!

*Omega get’s purified first, but doesn’t gain anything except Foresight and his nickname due to me using him exactly not at all*
Hmmm, I guess I have to decide on his restrictions now eh? Well, this isn’t going to be too hard. Can only use Fighting Moves (Bulk up is Fighting Type!), under the effects of Torment, evolve fucking immediately and screw items because he really fucking needs to evolve.

*Voice is next, gains the move Rain Dance, reaches level 34, and evolves into Feraligator*
Yes. Hell yes. HELL. FUCKING. YES!!!!!

*DR.PROTECT is the last to get purified, gets the move Sunny Day, levels up to lv 34 and gets named*
Hmmm, looks like my partners in crime have conflicting weathers. I wasn’t expecting this when I made them buddies. Oops?

Alright, so I guess Mt. Battle is next up now eh? Well let’s go then! Yah!
.
.
.
Yeah no one is falling for that. We’ll do it next chapter. Until then, audios!

END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Location: Agate Town
Pokemon: 6
Pokemon Purified: 5
Pokemon Snagged: 18
Retries: 6 (Hey! It didn’t go up this time!)

Pokemon:


Klepto the Umbreon
Level 36 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Hardy – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Faint Attack
Toxic
Confuse Ray
Snatch

Klepto’s support prowess is becoming more and more apparent as time goes on. Sure, he might only be able to actually attack 1/10th of the time, but Confuse Ray and Toxic can be mighty useful. Still, I really expect him to fall in usefulness now that I’ve purified most of my team. I’ll still always have him around to fall back on as a reliable wall when things get rough though.


Mario the Espeon
Level 34 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Naughty – Item: Silk Scarf – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Psybeam (unusable)
Return (usable because I’d be fucked otherwise)
Reflect
Helping Hand
Powerups:
Micro Mushroom
Fire Flower: 3/5
Feather: 3/10
Lives remaining: 3 (+2)

Mario is doing pretty damn well now, especially considering that he still doesn’t have access to STAB. He really does actually hit pretty hard with Return, though he has a lot of trouble against Pokemon with high defense and those that resist it. At least now I don’t have to rely on him to be my soul strong attacker; the others should be able to pick up some of the slack finally. He won’t fade into obscurity any time soon though; he should be able to acquire a Fire Flower before much longer now.


Omega the Makuhita
Level 30 – Ability: Thick Fat – Nature: Hasty – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Foresight (unusable)
Focus Energy (unusable)
Vital Throw
Cross Chop

Well throughout this chapter he was just as much of a useless sack of shit as he was the last chapter, but hopefully now there’s some light at the end of the tunnel for him. He’s finally purified, meaning he can actually use moves other than Shadow Rush now. Also, he’ll be evolving next level to boot. After that I expect him to become much, much more useful than he’s been so far. Just how useful though? Well, I don’t know really, so I’ll just have to wait and find out.


Voice the Feraligatr
Level 34 – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Rash – Item: Mystic Water – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Rain Dance
Scary Face
Bite
Surf

Voice was really helpful this chapter, at least until towards the end where he kind of just fell behind in level due to being a Shadow Pokemon. His Surf wasn’t nearly as powerful as I thought it was though. Thanks to the fact its power gets reduced when battling against 2 Pokemon, it actually is fairly average power. Then again, it hits two Pokemon at once, so it’s not a big complaint. Anyway, now that he’s purified and evolved, I expect some pretty damn great things from him. As long as he can weather a few STAB attacks and Status moves first anyway. It is unfortunate that his weather ability conflicts so badly with his partner DR.PROTECT though. I might’ve picked a different partner had I realized that would be an issue ahead of time.


DR.PROTECT the Slugma
Level 34 – Ability: Flame Body – Nature: Relaxed – Item: Quick Claw – Purified? Yes – Gender: Female
Moves:
Sunny Day
Yawn
Rock Throw
Flamethrower

The doctor here was a mixed bag for me this chapter. I honestly don’t know how I would’ve gotten by without her Yawn sleep support or her extremely useful and quite powerful Flamethrower, but at the same time her insanely low speed and bulk meant she rarely got to stick around for long. She’ll evolve soon at least, though that won’t do much for her type effectiveness. Still, I can’t wait for it. At least she won’t be OHKO’d by everything’s Shadow Rush anymore.


Swablu
Level 33 – Ability: Natural Cure – Nature: Timid – Item: None – Purified? No – Gender: Female
Moves:
Shadow Rush
Sing
????????
????????
Hypermode entries: 3

Swablu here hasn’t done a whole lot yet, though so far I have been rather impressed by the comparative bulk the little cotton swab has. Of course though, it made up for that by having the least attack power of anything I’ve ever used. I won’t have to worry about that much longer though, as its purification and subsequent evolution are not far off. Oh, and the cologne restriction has taken another hit; turns out you don’t even get the cologne case until after you do the next part of the story and I’ll have her purified by then. I’ll still keep track of how often she goes into hypermode though and then I’ll simply buy and use the colognes on my other shadow Pokemon instead. I think that should be a good enough compromise.


Alright, Mt. Battle here I come!
.
.
.
Which is what I’ll say after I spend a couples hours grinding in Pyrite Town. Those newly purified Shadow Pokemon need to catch up to Mario and Klepto.

*The weaklings here make for long, boring grinding, but it’s the only source I have*
Well I could be here a while...

*Omega evolved into Hariyama!”
HELL YEAH! Maybe he won’t be a useless sack of shit now!

*Many more battles later, Swablu is ready to be purified!*
Alright let’s go do this then!
*it actually has a tiny sliver left to go*
FUUUUUUUUUUU-

*After one more battle*
THERE
*Swablu gets purified, regains Mirror Move (yay?), reaches level 35, Evolves into Altaria, and learns Dragonbreath instead of Mirror Move*
HELLS YEAH! Alright, now what to name this raging little puffball?
*Fluffy. What the hell else would I name it?*
Hell yes.

*after much, much more boring grinding in Pyrite Town*
THERE! Finally, everyone is at least level 36. That should do nicely for the next section I think. NOW I’ll head off to Mt. Battle!

*outside the facility at Mt. Battle there’s a girl running around it circles*
Panicking girl: “It’s terrible, terrible! I tell you, it’s terrible! Gasp, gasp... Mt. Battle is under attack by a group of shady people! Gasp, gasp... I’m so out of breath...”
Yeah, running around like a chicken with its head cut off screaming like lunatic might do that to you.

*inside the facility*
Alright, there’s a bunch of other worried trainers here that basically tell me what I already know, and also the Move Deleter, who could come in handy at some point, I suppose. There’s also a PC and Pokemon Center, which is nice. It looks like there’s nothing much to do now except to go take on the Cipher people here.

So the receptionist initially blocks us from going up the mountain, but then I apparently tell her Duking sent me and she suddenly does a 180. Apparently she was the one who asked Duking for help. Why she’d contact him instead someone who is, I dunno, useful maybe? I’m not really sure. But hey, looks like she lucked out because that got us sent here.

Alright, time to climb this mountain.
*Actually, it’s climbing a series of floating platforms supposedly held aloft by fans that look like they’re rotating at 10 rpm*
Seriously, I don’t think a jet engine could support platforms like that, let alone a fan which must be barely producing a breeze...

Anyway, let’s head up.
*First trainer has a Numel!*
Oh yes! Alright, gotta switch to Mario...
*Mario’s first Return misses somehow*
Wait what? That shouldn’t be possible! Or did I get Sand-Attacked on the switch and not notice?
*It OHKOs the Numel next turn*
Well I’m counting that as a 2HKO. 1 miss plus 1 hit right? Ah whatever, I’m pretty sure 2hko means more along the lines of “at least 2HKO” than that it HAS to be a 2HKO. Just one more fire type for a Fire Flower!

*next battle a goddamn Geodude deprived Mario of his chance to 2HKO another Numel by KOing it with Magnetude before Mario could even switch in*
... FUCK YOU!

*Next person has a Houndour*
Alright, opportunity 2!
*Mario OHKOs with a critical hit*
Fuck it I’m counting it. Psybeam is now usable!

*Dr. Protect is OHKO’d by a Trapinch because he couldn’t switch out because of Arena Trap*
.... Fucking BS. All the Pokemon these people have are ground and Rock Type too. It is not a good place for the poor Doctor...

Jeeze, the Pokemon around here are high leveled. I just fought a team of 4 lv 38s. I’m starting to get worried here. Also, backtracking to the Pokemon Center after every battle is getting old really fast.

Telia the Hunter after defeat: “My target got away!’
Got away? I think you mean “whupped my ass to hell and back again” missy.

Street Performer after defeat: “No one will ever pay to see my show.
Yup, sounds about right. You suck.
.
.
.
What?

*in the next battle, I confuse a Sandslash and it Digs underground*
Hmm I wonder what happens if it hits itself while under there?
*camera follows the action of it hitting itself from above ground, before Sandslash warps up to the surface in a single frame*
Oh, that’s how it works. Magic!

Oh, the platforms are numbered too btw. And on the #8 Platform is a Cipher Peon! Maybe she’ll have a Shadow Pokemon for me?
Peon: “I guess we’re all a little guilty of underestimating you. You’ve earned some respect.”
Geeze that’s awfully humble of you
“But I’ll make you regret ever having come here!”
Nevermind.

*All her Pokemon just spam Will-o-Wisp like nuts*
Good god do I ever wish that Omega had Guts right now...
*instead he is forced to switch him out due to his total uselessness whilst burned*
Instead I’ll use Mario
*Mario Proceeds to rape entire team with his newly acquired Psybeam*
Oh hell yes. Shame she didn’t have any Shadow Pokemon for me to nab.

I just noticed this place has the exact same music as the Cipher base in Pyrite town. Is this just the standard Cipher theme or were they really that short on music for this game? Honestly, I’m tempted to go with the latter...

Alright, another Cipher Peon is here, this time a guy. Will this one have a Shadow Pokemon?
*nope, just two Self-Destruct spamming Geodude that KO half my team, including Mario*
Shiiiiiiiiiiit. Well there goes a faint counter.
*Thankfully it also weakens his Sandslash, making for an easy final KO*
Well thanks for that, now I have to run all the way back to the Pokemon center. Seriously, fuck you.

Alright, looks like the boss Dakim is the next one up. If I remember correctly, he has a level 40 Shadow Entei. Yeah, this is going to be rough.

Good lord he looks like a human Vigoroth. Seriously, look at him!

I expect him to use Fury Swipes any second now.
*He proceeds to Sucker Punch a guy he’s talking with that won’t give him something he wants*
Wait, does Vigoroth get Sucker Punch? (yup, 4th gen Move Tutor)

*He notices me and recognizes me as a the guy who’s been unleashing whup-ass all over Cipher, so he quickly enters a battle with me*
Alright, game time!
*He leads with Metang and Camerupt, against Kelpto and Omega*
Ok, I forsee Protect-Quake in my future....
*Nope, Protect Psychic. And it was the Camerupt doing the protecting, preventing my Cross Chop from landing*
Fuck. Alright, Confuse Ray from Klepto and Vital Throw from Omega at that Camerupt. I expect a Protect Quake for sure this time.
*nope, Metang unleashes another Psychic on Omega, and the Cameupt manages to hit through confusion with Flamethrower, finishing him off*
..... Fucking hell. Fluffy, your turn.
*I predict Camerupt will Protect, so I aim my Confuse Ray and Sing at Metang. I’m right and both hit*
Hell yes! Alright, time to die Camerupt.
*Toxic and Dragonbreath hit, but do little to it as it snaps out of confusion and nails its ally with Earthquake, OHKOing it. Klepto takes it well and of course Fluffy is immune*
Ok, that actually went really well. Thanks Dakim!
*Marshtomp comes out next*
Alright, I see more Protect Quake incoming. This time it’ll be Camerupt Protecting so I’ll aim for Marshtomp.
*Marshtomp gets confused and put to sleep, but Camerupt says “screw it” and goes for another Earthquake*
Hmmm... Kelpto needs some health I think.
*I use a super potion on him and confuse Camerupt again. Unfortunately, it uses Flamethrower again anyway*
Geeze, it hasn’t hit itself in confusion once yet despite being confused almost from the start. This is starting to get annoying. Well, I don’t want Entei coming out until Camerupt is gone since it’s likely to go and KO it with Earthquake, so I’m focusing my attacks on it regardless of the possibility of Protect. Also, I think Klepto has done all he can now so I’m sending in Mario in his place. I’ll need his power for this.
*Camerupt finally hits itself in confusion and goes down, a Golem comes out to replace him*
Ah, it’s another one that has to die before I can risk letting Entei in. Alright, all forces go!
*They just fail to KO, and Golem hits Mario with a brutal double edge. Thankfully, it’s a 2HKO and he lives it*
Alright, Golem will go down to a Psybeam and Marshtomp should fall to a Dragonbreath. Entei should be just ahead now...
*Both are KO’d and Entei comes out to face me alone*
Alright, now shit gets real. First things first; let’s put that thing to sleep! Also, a Reflect couldn’t hurt.
*Entie’s bite leaves Mario with 1HP, but thankfully Fluffy manages to put it to sleep immediately afterwards*
Dang, if only I had been a few HP higher I could’ve gotten the Megamushroom. Oh well, no time to worry now. Mario has to hit it with all he’s got and I need to heal my MVP!
*Over two turns, Entei is brought down to the yellow while Mario is brought back up to full health*
Alright now... A Dragonbreath from Fluffy should put in the red. However, I really need to start spamming those Ultra Balls at this point.
*I only have 2 Ultra Balls*
.... Whoops. I have 10 great balls as backup though... geeze I hope I catch it quickly.
*it Wakes up and nails Mario with Fire Blast... and Dragonbreath paralyzes it.*
.... Fuck.
*Mario is OHKO’d with a critical Fire Blast one turn later*
Well there goes my second faint token. At least I can switch in a better resist now. Dr. Protect has to come out before Voice does so...
*I switch to Voice the next turn, as Entei breaks out of another Great Ball*
Alright, here’s hoping I get some luck snagging...
*Voice sets up Rain Dance to further weaken Fire Blast, while another Great Ball fails*
Oh lord I’m going to run out of Pokeballs aren’t I?
*shake... shake... shake....*
:D!!!!
* BREAK OUT!*
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
*Shake Shake Shake*
Yeah sure...
*You caught Entei!*
O.O
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*After the battle he quickly chats with his allies then absconds, mentioning an “Ein Lab” in the process*
Hmmm I’m thinking I know where my next goal is now. Hey, what’s this on the ground?
Disembodied Voice of Exposition: “Jimera0 obtained the F-Disk!”
OH YEAH PORN!
.
.
.
What? Oh... not porn. : (

*I talk to the guy that got Sucker Punched before the battle*
Ah, so this is the Vander I’ve heard so much about. Anyway, after we explain what’s happened to us so far he hands us the Time Flute, which he says will summon Celebi, but just once. My guess from this is that Celebi instantly purifies a single Pokemon. That’ll be useful for after the main Scramble and when I’m purifying everything I guess.

*We head back to the Mt. Battle lobby, and a chest has mysteriously appeared out of nowhere*
... Where did that come from? Well, I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth...
*Opens it up to find TM 47 Steel Wing*
Well that’s something I guess. I suppose Fluffy can use it, though honestly I’m thinking Safeguard and Sing are more useful to her at the moment.

Random guy in the Lobby: “You two are amazing! It’s great that you saved Vander and got rewarded with the Time Flute! I’ve heard that you can summon Celebi with it at the Relic Forest.”
Wait, hang on. How do you know all this? Who are you? *suspicious*

Athelete outside: “You sent those bad guys running? I’m sorry, but I want to see proof for myself!”
*Draws me into a battle suddenly*
..... Weren’t you the one running around and panicking earlier?

Now what? There’s zero indication of where I’m supposed to go next. Well, maybe that Under place is open now? That’s the only place I can think of at the moment, so I guess I’m going back to Pyrte Town.

Maybe Fateen will know something...
Fateen’s Customer: “Today, I’ve come to ask Fateen what I should have my fortune read about!”
What.

Anyway, when I talk to Fateen she mentions something about darkness swirling deep underground. Underground eh? I guess I’m on the right track with The Under then. How to get there though? Maybe Duking or that group of kids know something.

Hm, Duking says I should go check out the Relic some more. I guess I will then...?
*Talks to Secc in the kiddie hideout, where I learn she’s actually getting information. I give her my P*DA number*
Seriously, I’m starting to think this kid is more competent than 90% of the adults in this game.

*A quick trip back to Agate later and we’re accosted by an old man as soon as we enter town*
Apparently, Eagun is worried sick about Rui thanks to our antics at Mt. Battle. I guess it’s pretty clear where I’m to go next then. For plot reasons mind you, it’s not like I give a shit about Eagun. Seriously, anyone who fails horrifically with a 12 level advantage does not earn my respect. You could’ve used Thunderbolt you know?

*Talks to Eagun, who doesn’t seem to be worried at all*
Hell, he seems like he knew we would triumph all along. He tells me to go summon Celebi at once... hey, what if I wanted to save that shit for later old man? It only works once you know! But it appears to be plot important so I guess I have no choice...

Guy outside of Eagun’s place: “Oh, hello. A little while ago, someone built what looks like a laboratory out in the desert. It makes me wonder what anyone’d want to be studying out there. I mean, there’s nothing out there but sand.”
I wonder if I can actually go there yet...

*leaves town briefly to check the map*
Yup, there it is. Guess the conversation unlocked it. Well, now I know where I’m going as soon as I’m done in the Relic Forest...

*but first, a random battle with a Cooltrainer that I talked to at random*
Oooo a lv 39 Swellow. A real fight maybe?
*Level 40 Sunflora too, but still easy as hell*
Yeah I thought as much.

And then as I’m about to enter the Relic forest the guy there quickly tells me to be careful about using the Time Flute as it can only be used once. So am I supposed to use it now or what??? Anyway, if its purpose IS to completely purify a Pokemon in one go, I know just the candidate.

*pulls out the impossible to train lv 20 Remoraid and then heads into the forest*
Alright, here goes!
Disembodied Voice of Exposition: “This item cannot be used right now.”
... The fuck. The FUCK?
*steps 1 step closer to the relic, tries again*
Oh, NOW it’s working. Apparently being 2 feet away from the Relic is 2 feet too many.
*Plays flute after selecting Remorade and boom Celebi appears, and BOOM Remoraid is purified!*
Something tells me this was not plot relevant in the slightest.

Well I guess I might as well check out that Lab now...
*As soon as I get there I get an email*
Hmm it’s from Duking... he says that the police have nabbed a couple of Miror B. Peons, and I should question them. He’s talking about Trudly and Folly isn’t he? Did he not realize that they’ve been there ever since before I even arrived in town?

Well I guess I’ll go check it out, since Duking is insisting so hard. Somehow though, I get the impression they’ll just direct me right back to this lab... Well I need some sort of key to get in anyway so it’s not like there’s anything for me at the moment.

*talks to the Chief, who says they nabbed two NEW peons at the Miror B.’s base. Then he gives me his P*DA number. His actual name is Sherles.*
... Does anyone in this game have a normal name? I mean aside from Officer Johnson, but he’s wacky enough otherwise to make up for it.

Now let’s see, who are these new prisoners? Hey, it’s that pair of pretty ladies who were beating on Silva back in Miror B.’s base! Talking to the one in blue just causes her to tell me to get away from her, but I have the key to their cell so...
*heads inside and tries to talk to the one on the bed. She mumbles something about an elevator and I steal some sort of key from her belt*
Well, this seems promising. And also incredibly illegal, but whatever.
*Jimera obtained the Elevator Key!*
AHA! So that’s how you get to The Under! That elevator in Miror B.’s base! I had almost forgotten about it. Now before we leave...
Ferma: “We were collared when we tried to sneak back down to The Under. Bluh bluh huge bitch! (approximate translation from bitchanese)”
Alright, so looks like I just gained access to the Under! Time to head on down I guess!

Before I do though... I want to see if the trainers in Duel Square have improved any.
*Yup, their levels are now in line with all the other trainers I’ve been seeing around*
Sweet, it looks like I can train here a little more effectively now.
*Voice wants to learn Slash!*
Hell yes, at exactly 70BP I can learn it without restriction and I needed something more powerful than Bite.

Before I go down I think I’ll get everyone to level 38... Which just means that Omega and DR.PROTECT need to level up once each. This shouldn’t take long.
*A few battles later, DR.PROTECT evolves!*
Hell yes! Now, Gamer40000 said that the Light Screen/Reflect restriction doesn’t apply until after I get said moves. I looked up where I could get them and found that they can be purchased in The Under. But until I actually get to the store, I just stick with the old restrictions.
*A few more battles later, Omega catches up to everyone and reaches level 38*
There we go, all done.

Alright, let’s take this elevator down to The Under! Let’s get this shit on baby! I’m pumped! I’m ready! I’m –

Ending the chapter right here :D. Until next time, audios!


END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Location: Agate Town
Pokemon: 6
Pokemon Purified: 7 (Go Time Flute!)
Pokemon Snagged: 19
Retries: 6 (Finally, things are looking up.)

Pokemon:


Klepto the Umbreon
Level 38 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Hardy – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Faint Attack
Toxic
Confuse Ray
Snatch

Klepto is yet again a bit of an odd duck. While attacking wise he’s pretty much useless, between his retrictions and stats, in a support role he can be utterly vital. While he’s frequently more of a hindrance than a help in minor battles, in major battles where his dual status conditions have time to shine he becomes absolutely indispensible. Also, being something that can soak up large numbers of hits is a nice bonus as well.


Mario the Espeon
Level 38 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Naughty – Item: Silk Scarf – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Psybeam (unusable)
Return (usable because I’d be fucked otherwise)
Reflect
Helping Hand
Powerups:
Micro Mushroom
Fire Flower
Feather: 3/10
Lives remaining: 3

Mario can finally use his STAB attacks! Holy shit! Huzzah! That is so awesome I think I’m going to freak the hell out! Mario was my best attacker before just using Return, but now that he’s got the use of Psybeam as well, I can’t help but to think he’s going to completely outstrip the rest of my Pokemon. The only other really annoying restriction left to remove on him is the one that prevents switching. OHKOing 7 more birds might take a while, but oh well. The Megamushroom will likely never come into play, since I don’t think there are even any moves with more than 100BP (including STAB) he can learn without secondary effects. Psychic is already disallowed even with the Fire Flower, so his current moveset is probably here to stay. Makes me worry he might fall behind in time... oh well, nothing to be done about it. For now he’s the hero, and he’s going to stomp on that Bow- err... Cipher organization!


Omega the Hariyama
Level 38 – Ability: Thick Fat – Nature: Hasty – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Foresight (unusable)
Focus Energy (unusable)
Vital Throw
Cross Chop

Truth be told, Omega was a pretty big disappointment this chapter, especially considering how effective my last Hariyama was. Cross Chop’s pathetic accuracy keeps holding him back and Vital Throw’s negative priority also tends to screw him over. His bulk isn’t quite good enough for double battles, not when his speed is so low anyway. Still, he’s miles more useful than he was as a Makuhita, so there is that at least. I can only hope that he proves to be more useful later on.


Voice the Feraligatr
Level 38 – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Rash – Item: Mystic Water – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Rain Dance
Scary Face
Slash
Surf

Voice is really starting to annoy me due to that one damn restriction that prevents him from doing anything until he gets attacked by a STAB or Status move. The problem isn’t that the enemy never uses those moves though. No, the problem is they never seem to target Voice with them. Voice himself tends to survive just fine, but his partner tends to get blown to pieces as they more or less end up taking on all the opponents by themselves. It’s like they know what his goddamn restriction is. He’s a fair bit more impressive once he actually does get the chance to attack though. Rain Dance powers up Surf to obscene levels of Power, so anything that doesn’t resist it is pretty much OHKO’d. He’s becoming a real risk vs. reward type of Pokemon. The reward is a slew of double KOs. The risk is having him sit there doing nothing while his teammates slowly get dismembered.


DR.PROTECT the Magcargo
Level 38 – Ability: Flame Body – Nature: Relaxed – Item: Quick Claw – Purified? Yes – Gender: Female
Moves:
Sunny Day
Yawn
Rock Throw
Flamethrower

Poor DR.PROTECT really got beat upon in this chapter, thanks to being the only unevolved Pokemon on the team for all the major battles. Her horrendous speed coupled with her equally horrendous defenses led to her getting KO’d far, far more than anyone else on the team. When she actually did manage to get an attack off it was usually effective at least though. Still, her power isn’t the same as it was when she was first being used due to the increasing resilience of opponents, but a timely Flamethrower was always nice nonetheless. Thankfully, her days of getting obliterated due to low bulk are more or less over now that she has evolved. Instead, she’ll get KO’d due to horrendous typing! Ah well, she’ll probably do better anyway. Ever since my first Scramble of Diamond I’ve had a soft spot for the Magcargo line, so I hope that she manages to pull her weight later on.


Fluffy the Altaria
Level 38 – Ability: Natural Cure – Nature: Timid – Item: None – Purified? No – Gender: Female
Moves:
Dragon Breath
Sing
Safeguard
Fly
Hypermode entries: 6

Named after the horrifying beast that is Fluffy the Terrible, she hasn’t quite lived up to it. Ferocious dragon or not, she’s not exactly brimming with offensive prowess. Instead, she’s ended up taking on a role similar to Kelpto’s, only being a bit more reliable at attacking and a little less reliable at supporting. Safeguard has its uses, but it’s Sing that really helps. Sleep is as powerful as it ever was, and though the accuracy of Sing has something to be desired, it really does help with catching Shadow Pokemon and the like. Her slew of resistances and good defensive stats make her reliable in terms of sticking absorbing hits as well, making stalling with Klepto feasible since he finally has a partner as long lived as he is. Fly can be useful when I need the super effective damage, but the charging turn makes it really undesirable for double battles. Dragonbreath is usually her main attacking move instead as I can actually strike immediately with it. The paralysis chance is nice as well... at least, unless I accidentally end up paralysing a Pokemon I meant to put to sleep.


Alright, let’s see what this Under I’ve heard so much about is like already!

*approaches the elevator and is set upon by a Chaser*
Wait what? Didn’t I beat you my first time going through here? I have to do this again?
*beats her easily*

Wait a second... all the trainers here are ready to battle again. The hell? Well I might as well earn myself some experience while I’m here I suppose.

*Mario gets a feather from a Tailow used by a roller boy*
Hell yes. Just 6 left to go.

Damn, they’re all still here and willing to battle. Just why they’re here I can’t fathom, since Miror B. is looong gone now... They even say the same things they did last time. I think these guys are stuck in some sort of temporal warp or something and still think they’re in the employ of Miror. B.
*2 feathers are obtained in the building from the trainers there*
Well whatever, at least I’m getting some stuff for Mario and some experience out of it. The trainers in the caves seem to want to battle again too. At least they have their dialogue changed down here... it sure would be awkward for them to be talking about Miror B. now that he’s long gone.
*Gets a faint counter for Mario*
Random dude: “Yeah, you sure are strong. But you’re no match for Miror B. heheh. Whaaaaaaat?! Miror B.’s not around anymore?”
Ok, Genius Sorority just got major props for the lampshading there. That is exactly the awkwardness I was talking about!

*Fluffy wants to learn Dragon Dance*
Hmmm this or Safeguard? Safeguard has limited use but can be really helpful, while DD isn’t exactly awesome with a timid nature and craptastic attack. Not to mention she only has Fly for physical moves... Hrmmmmm... I think I’ll stick with Safeguard. I don’t think sweeping with Fly is really in the cards in double battles anyway...

*Mario gets another faint counter off a Shuppet, but doesn’t even try to get one from the Forretress it’s partnered with*
Resists both his attacks, massive defenses... probably looking at an 8HKO or something had I tried that. I’ll settle for one faint counter right now, thank you very much.

*Omega wants to learn Belly Drum!*
Is it fighting type?
*nope*
Well screw that then.

*Mario Crits a Natu for a 7th feather*
Sweet, so now I’m restocked on Faint Counters and most of the way to a Squirrel Suit thanks to my backtracking through here. This was pretty worthwhile I have to say, since soon Mario will be fully Powered up and my team will all be at level 40.

*the Cipher Peon from the last trip through here is still here*
... Don’t you have better things to do? I mean the other losers I can kind of understand but... really? Cipher still wants you guarding a dead end in a defunct base?

*Enters Miror B.’s chamber just to see if anything has changed*
Hang on, there’s someone in here... is that a Cipher Peon? Is he wearing Miror B’s outfit!?!?!? THE HELL??
Peon: “I’m Mirakle B.! I’m Miror B.’s rightful successor! Going to get me an afro!”
Oh hell no.
*Enters battle to a freaky remix of Miror B.’s theme*
This cannot be happening.
*it is. And the battle was full of an insane amount of hax that lead to half my team either getting KO’d or being forced to switch*
Seriously this shit. Stop it.
After defeat: “My dreams! You ruined my dreams of getting an afro!” (I swear I am not making this shit up).
.... I’m done here.

AHEM! Anyway, now that I’m done dilly dallying, I can finally move onto this Under I’ve heard so much about! Time to finally head down that elevator like I promised I would several weeks ago!
*Steps into the elevator, but the gate closes before Rui can get in*
Welp, guess you’re staying behind! Bye Rui!
*Elevator begins to descend without her and the screen fades to black. As the screen fades back in to the bottom of the shaft, she’s suddenly standing behind me on the elevator.*
Wait what? When the hell did you learn to teleport?

*Cut scene shows the Under*
Wow and I thought Pyrite Town was a dump.
*View swings to a TV screen showing some dumb Under Exclusive program, showing yet another flamboyant probably-antagonist, Venus.*
At least this one actually is a girl and doesn’t just act like one. At least I hope that’s a girl, because otherwise someone is damn good at molding fake breasts for their costumes. She’s warning the residents about... spies? What the hell is worth spying on in this dump? And how the hell did they know we were here already anyway?
*Rui asks pretty much the same question, but proposes no answer*
Rui, hanging a lampshade on it doesn’t make the plot hole any smaller.

Well anyway, I guess I had better take a look around this place.
*Runs around talking to people, learning a bit about Venus and the local attractions while getting in a few battles and buying some lemonade from a machine along the way*
Nothing interesting really so far, except for the fact that it looks like a hotel is the only place to restore my health and it costs 1000 freaking poke to heal there. Let’s hope I can actually get to the Colosseum for healing...

*After talking to more people*
Wow, it really does seem as if the whole Under is controlled by Cipher. They even referred to me (not knowing it was me they were referring to) as “the enemy”. I had no idea Cipher was this influential.

*Comes upon a weird holographic projector*
Select a UFO disk? Am I reading this right? They call this trashy thing a UFO? And it runs on Disks? The hell? Well now I know what that F-Disk was for. Not porn unfortunately : (.
*The F-Disk allows me to access the Colosseum, which thankfully has free healing*
Seriously, why would you ever stay in that stupid hotel with this thing just a short UFO ride away?

*After the half-billionth time hearing about the “spies” in the Under*
OK GAME I GET IT! We’re the spies and everyone is oblivious to it hurr hurr hurr. It’s not funny anymore. Wait no, IT WASN’T FUNNY IN THE FIRST PLACE!

*Walking out of the Colosseum initiates a quick cutscene showing Venus and what appears to be another Cipher admin who is revealed to be Ein talking to Nascour on a video screen, revealing very little of importance*
Well that was boring. At least we get to see that guy who’s been leaving those files all over the place. It seems like he comes from that lab out in the desert too. I guess this was slightly more informative than the last cutscene like this with Miror B., but seriously game, have you ever heard of the concept of “show, don’t tell”?

*Steps into the Pokemart to see what’s for sale, and finds that a bunch of TMs are among the more ordinary items listed for sale*
Oh ho, what do we have here? Looks like it’s time to give DR.PROTECT her moves! I guess I’ll also do a quick check to see if any of these other TMs are worth getting...
*not really*
Alright then, I guess I’ll just move on. Can’t say I really expected much, seeing as they’ll all the high risk, high reward moves and most of my team can’t use them anyway...

Guy on the roof of the shop: “Lady Venus is The Under’s... No! She’s my idol! For Lady Venus, I could do anything! But even though I’m so near to her, I’ve not seen even a glimpse of her in person. Oh, it hurts deeply! Lady VENUUUUUUUUUUUS!”
O.O oooook there. And I thought Bill’s brainwashing was bad... this guy isn’t the first one I’ve talked to that’s seemed a little obsessed. I’m thinking Cipher has control here through less conventional ways than your typical crime syndicate...

*battles a guy who’s preparing for a Colosseum Challenge... who uses Febas and Magikarp*
He also has a Wailord I guess, so that kinda makes up for it... at least it’s freaking massive so it LOOKS like he’s got something. I’d say he was compensating for something as a joke, but he really is compensating for something with it... his other Pokemon.

*enters a building only enterable from a catwalk from the Hotel, discovers what appears to be the home of one of The Under’s kid’s grid members. He asks for me to deliver a part to another across town*
Well I might as well; we are working towards the same goal after all. It’s only a few second walk anyway...
*As I deliver the part, Perr, the kid I was delivering the part to, invites me inside their base*
Alright, let’s see what cute litt-
*There’s a whole bunch of advanced computers and chemistry equipment inside*
Holy shit, are all the kids in this game prodigies or something?
... Anyway, insanely competent kids aside, they’re all really excited to see me. They tell me they’re going to use these computers to hack into the super advanced crime syndicates’ database and get me information. Seriously, what the HELL is with the kids in these games? They make all the adults look like total morons!

*as soon as I step outside there are cries that someone spotted the spy*
Oh shit, looks like we’ve been found out
*yeah, not so much. The adults are idiots remember?*
Turns out they’re freaking out over Silva, who apparently just managed to work his way down the elevator. Smooth move Silva, you’re a real pro at this heroing thing. I think I’m going to let him cool his heels for a few while I finish exploring the town. I still haven’t explored the basement under the Colosseum yet.
*turns out there’s nothing down there by some cocky douche who calls himself the Challenge Champ.*
Bah, alright I guess I’ll save his sorry ass again after all. Probably the only way to advance the damn plot...

*I start battling the Cipher Peons that are holding him captive. The first one sends out a shadow Ledian*
Well I’d use Sing on it using Fluffy like I did in the previous chapter... but I had forgotten then that she’s not really supposed to be fighting Shadow Pokemon. Whoops. Anyway, I’ll make sure to keep her out now so she doesn’t go all corrupt batshit again. DR.PROTECT’s Yawn will have to do instead.
*Fucker uses Safeguard before I can Yawn him*
... Asshole. Well I guess I’ll just have to do this the hard way then... at least it’s not exactly threatening.
*Easily works it down to red health with 4x resisted moves from Omega while taking no damage thanks to DR.PROTECT’s screens, then snags it with a Net Ball*
Well that was easy. Let’s hope the next one is equally nice
*Yup, no Shadow Pokemon either*
Well that was easy for once.

*They hightail it out of there after being beaten, but leave no way to open the cage Silva is being held in*
Well, guess you are going to have to cool your heels there a little bit longer after all :D. Oh don’t look so dejected, I’m sure you’ll come to love the cage you’re trapped in! Y’know, Stockholm syndrome and all that.
.
.
.
So now what? They really haven’t given me much direction here.

*Colosseum isn’t open yet, nothing new in the basement, no key anywhere, people still standing around like they were before*
Oh c’mon, it shouldn’t be a puzzle just to figure out where to go next. I guess I’ll go see if the kids have done anything useful yet?
*nope*
Alright, time to play the wander-around-until-shit-happens game! It’s the most wonderful game in the world![/sarcasm].
*When randomly mashing the A button in time with the music near the cage Silva is in I suddenly talk to him*
Wait what? But I... did this... the hell game. The hell.

Anyway, he gave me the R-Disk so now I can move on. Let’s get this over with. I might actually let Silva out now if I find the key since he’s been somewhat helpful for once. Maybe. If I feel like it.

*Takes the UFO to the right this time and enters a building that looks very similar to the one Miror B. was in before on the outside*
Except this one looks to be the TV station on the inside, the same one where all that stuff with Venus was being filmed. Let’s see what happens when I step on set shall we?
*errr nothing until I talk to Venus herself, which pretty much instantly trigger s battle with her*

Alright then, let’s do this. So far she doesn’t look too threatening, a Delecatty and a Vileplume. I think I’m going to throw up Safeguard and some Screens before I do anything else.
*Both turn out to be good moves, as the Light Screen Allows DR.PROTECT to survive a Water Pulse from Delecatty and Safeguard nullified Vileplume’s Stun Spore*
Dang, that Water Pulse was rather unexpected. I hope I can get a Reflect up in time...
*Delecatty uses Double-Edge on Fluffy and Vileplume sprays acid, brining both teammates to around half health, after which Reflect goes up. Getting that Reflect up got me to the requirements for being allowed to replace Yawn*
Sweet, now I can get rid of Yawn whenever I want to, if I want to. Now, let’s see if I can’t KO that Delecatty before it turns DR.PROTECT into a French delicacy.
*Thanks to Quick Claw activating on DR.PROTECT, Delecatty is finished off before it can make another move, but Vileplume’s Giga Drain does surprisingly significant damage to DR.PROTECT despite the Light Screen. Steelix comes out in Delecatty’s place*
Well that just about finishes off DR.PROTECT’s roll here. Omega should be able to deal with that Steelix, and unlike Voice he won’t get murdered by that Giga Drain.
*As he comes in he gets smashed by a Giga Drain from Vileplume and an Earthquake from Steelix, which together take out over two thirds of his health*
.... Not really good that. At least that Vileplume is finished; I had Fluffy use fly last turn. Now, I’m going to have Omega make the best of this turn and Cross Chop that damn Steelix.
*Fly leaves Vileplume with a sliver of health left, which it uses to attract Omega. Steelix takes a little less than half from Cross Chop and my Safeguard and Light Screen wear off. At least Steelix uses the turn to do nothing more than Taunt Omega*
Well that Attract has got to go, so I need to use Dragonbreath on Vileplume. I still have one turn of Reflect left, so Omega should be able to take one more EQ and be able to get Steelix down even lower with the requisite Vital Throw (curse you Torment!). I wonder what her final non-shadow Pokemon is...
*Dragonbreath works as planned and KOs Vileplume who is replaced by a Banette, but Steelix counters with a surprise Rock Slide, which hardly scratches Omega but KOs Fluffy. Klepto comes in to replace her and Steelix is reduced to red health by Vital Throw*
... Well that could’ve gone better. Klepto has to Snatch first, but unless I get unlucky I should be able to finish off that Steelix with Cross Chop now at least...
*Banette fires off a surprise Psychic, KOing Omega. Steelix fires off another EQ as Voice comes in. Voice gets critted by it but lives, while Klepto remains in the green. Banette on the other hand is brought down to the low yellow from the friendly fire.*
And again, that could’ve gone better. Still, this battle has been fairly kind to me so far so I can’t complain that much. The good news is I’m pretty sure Voice outspeeds both these slowpokes so a single Surf should do them in. Coming in on that EQ was a blessing in disguise, as it’s allowing him to attack right away. Klepto’s turn is going to be used healing Voice since he’s faster and confusing these two on the same turn they get KO’d won’t do much good.
*Steelix is predictably annihilated, and Banette takes the fall too, leaving just Venus’ lv 40 Shadow Suicune to battle my team*
Ah it IS Suicune she has. I thought I remembered that but I wasn’t sure. Anyway, it’s actually 4-5 levels lower than her other Pokemon so I’m kind of catching a break here. This time I have lots of Pokeballs too! Let’s just hope I didn’t jinx myself...
*After I confuse it and Klepto takes the hit easily, I come up with a plan*
Alright, I got an idea. I’ll see if I can bring in DR.PROTECT while it’s confused and get a Yawn off. After that if DR.PROTECT goes down it’s no big deal, but if he lives I’ll set up some screens while Voice keeps whittling down its HP. With a bit of luck, I should get it asleep and at low health, allowing for an easy capture...
*The plan gets screwed to hell right off the bat as DR.PROTECT is hit by Shadow Rush on the switch and burns Suicune with Flame Body*
AHHHHH THROW BALLS AT IT BEFORE IT DIES!!!!!!!
*After one turn the burn and confusion recoil put it in the red*
SHIT SHIT SHIT I GOT LIKE 2 SHOTS AT THIS NOW
*Second ball is a Net Ball, and it miraculously works on the first shot!*
....
WHEW! That was way too close.

And after she’s defeated all she has to say for herself is that she’s glad it wasn’t caught on air... well her and the news crew all book it, leaving behind TM 45 Attract, 3 Rare Candies and yet another EIN File, this time F. Unfortunately, it also has nothing to do with fucking. Instead it tells me stuff about Shadow Pokemon that I already knew. Boring! Why can’t you Admins carry more smut with you?

So, the next place to go would seem to be down the stairs in here which I saw Venus run down after her defeat.
.
.
.
Yeah I’m not even going to pretend I’m going down there this episode this time. Until next time, audios!

END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Location: Agate Town
Pokemon: 6
Pokemon Purified: 7 (Go Time Flute!)
Pokemon Snagged: 19
Retries: 6 (Finally, things are looking up.)

Pokemon:


Klepto the Umbreon
Level 41 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Hardy – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Faint Attack
Toxic
Confuse Ray
Snatch

Klepto actually got to attack a few times this episode as well as using his normal confusion and poisoning antics, thanks to the opponents actually using snatchable moves for once. His Faint Attack might not be super powerful, but it’s great for finishing off opponents in the red which is frequently a huge help. Confuse Ray is really starting to annoy me with its inconsistency, but that’s just the way things are. Maybe at some point I’ll get something for him to use other than Confuse Ray, but right now it’s the best I’ve got. Overall he’s still doing well, though his bulk isn’t as pronounced as it once was as his opponents have gotten a little more powerful. He’s still a reliable wall as always, and for that I’m grateful.


Mario the Espeon
Level 40 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Naughty – Item: Twistedspoon – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Psybeam
Return (usable because I’d be fucked otherwise)
Reflect
Helping Hand
Powerups:
Micro Mushroom
Fire Flower
Feather: 7/10
Lives remaining: 3 (+2)

Mario is really starting to show the leaning of his stats now. He hits like a truck and is by far my fastest Pokemon, meaning that he’s as useful offensively as ever. However his opponents are getting stronger, meaning more 2HKOs (and even some 3HKOs) when I don’t have a type advantage and this is not good for him, as his fragility is really starting to show. Mario is not built for taking a lot of attacks, so he tends to lose health very quickly in battles where he can’t 1 shot everything. This wouldn’t be so much of a problem if he could just switch out, but I still need to OHKO 3 more birds before I can do that. As it is, I’m constantly terrified he’s going to get KO’d. At least getting Mushrooms usually isn’t very hard; Bug types count despite most of them not having any super-effective attacks to hit him with.


Omega the Hariyama
Level 40 – Ability: Thick Fat – Nature: Hasty – Item: Black Belt – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Foresight (unusable)
Focus Energy (unusable)
Vital Throw
Cross Chop

There’s no nice way to put this; Omega continues to disappoint. His bulk might be pretty good in singles, but he just cannot take the amount of hits aimed at him in doubles that he needs to, not when he moves so goddamn slow. Even when using Cross Chop he usually goes last, let alone when using Vital Throw. This wouldn’t be so bad if he actually hit noticeably harder than my other main attackers, but he really doesn’t. Maybe this Black Belt I just put on him will help, but without it he doesn’t hit any harder than Mario, who can at least move quickly. Alternating attacks is a bit of a pain too, since I don’t always get to pick when I want reliability and when I want (relative) speed and power. Still, he could be worse. He could still be the useless sack of shit he was before he evolved.


Voice the Feraligatr
Level 41 – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Rash – Item: Mystic Water – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Rain Dance
Scary Face
Slash
Surf

Voice is finally starting to come out of his shell a bit, thanks to one very simple factor; more opponents are aiming STAB moves at him, allowing him to come out swinging. That being said, there are times when I desperately need him to be able to attack but everything refuses to target him (the Mirakle B. battle being a prime example), but these are becoming less and less common. His Surfs are frequently devastating thanks how common ground and rock Pokemon are, and being the only member of my team who is able to hit two opponents at once makes him invaluable when he can attack. Slash is also a very welcome addition, allowing him to do decent damage even to opponents that resist Surf. I just really wish I could get him a better support move than Scary Face so he’s not so useless when he can’t attack. I’ll have to keep my eye open for o- hang on, didn’t I just get Attact?


DR.PROTECT the Magcargo
Level 41 – Ability: Flame Body – Nature: Relaxed – Item: Quick Claw – Purified? Yes – Gender: Female
Moves:
Light Screen
Yawn
Reflect
Flamethrower

DR.PROTECT’s evolution has been a double-edge sword, just as I expected it to be. On the plus side, she’s got a bit more power and bulk to work with now, meaning she isn’t OHKO’d by everything with a bit of power anymore. On the minus side, she IS OHKO’d by pretty much anything with a Water type attack and Ground type attacks aren’t much better. The bottom line is she’s fainting to some attacks she would’ve survived as a Slugma. Still, I believe the benefits were worth it. It is a shame that I had to get rid of Sunny Day though, as that really allowed her to hit hard when she got the chance to set up. Of course, now she has those Dual Screens which have their own usefulness, particularly in how they support the team. They also allow her to take a few super effective attacks that would slaughter her otherwise. Oh, and the requirement to get rid of Yawn was super easy, taking only 4 battles to accomplish. I’m not sure if I’ll replace it right away, seeing as Yawn actually has pretty good utility. We’ll see later though if I want Sunny Day back or a secondary STAB, or something else entirely.


Fluffy the Altaria
Level 41– Ability: Natural Cure – Nature: Timid – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Female
Moves:
Dragon Breath
Sing
Safeguard
Fly
Hypermode entries: 6

Hmm, I totally forgot about the whole cologne thing. I guess I’ll have to do that next chapter. Anyway, aside from that I’ve been very pleased overall with Fluffy’s performance. She’s got good speed even if her power is lacking, meaning her Dragonbreath is great for finishing off weakened opponents. This is especially true since so few Pokemon resist it. Sing is nice but the accuracy can be a real bummer. Safeguard has saved my ass a few times already, including against Venus, so I’m pretty glad I stuck with it over Dragon Dance. Fly is very rarely used due to the charge up turn being an invitation for the opponent to wail on her teammate, and seeing as she doesn’t really get a lot of other good physical moves Dragon Dance would’ve been a waste. Her overall bulk is pretty nice, though the psychical side is starting to show weakness. She’s still very reliable when I need something to tank hits alongside Klepto, and her immunity to Earthquake and resistance to Surf is invaluable. I don’t know if or what I’ll change about her in the future though. Depends on what I come across and when.


Alright, let’s see what’s down that staircase Venus went down...

Oh, it leads to part of the Colosseum’s basement that I couldn’t reach before... hey there’s Venus running away! Now the question is, what took her so long to travel down this short hallway while I went and healed and saved and stuff? Did she stop to redo her hair or something? Lord knows that doo has got to require a lot of attention.
*As I enter into the next area she takes an elevator down, which does not come back up, leaving me to take a staircase covered in her lackeys*
Oh boy, so this is turning into a chase sequence then? Are we going to end up doing the old Scooby doo thing with the magic doors in the next section or something?

*First lackey has a Shadow Gligar I gladly capture*
Hunter Frena after defeat: “If you’re mean to me, I’m going to cry. Okay?”
*I am presented with the option to pick yes or no*
... What. Errr yes?
Frena: “Waaaaaaaah!”
I wonder what happens if I say no...
Frena: “But I want to cry... Waaaaah!”
Man, Venus is really scraping the bottom of the barrel down here...

*Next one has a Shadow Stantler... and Fluffy is in the middle of Fly when it comes out*
... Well I can’t really do much to withdraw her right now. Next attack I suppose.
*Mario get’s KO’d much to my annoyance*
... Goddamit, that Stantler hits really damn hard with Take Down. It did that through Reflect...
*A few turns later I finally catch it*
Wow, that thing was more annoying than I expected. Now I have to go back and heal Mario... and hope I can get another faint counter soon to replace the one I just lost.

*the next one has a Masquerian for Mario to Solo and get his faint counter back*
Sweet! I’m thinking this one has a Shadow Pokemon too though... I hope it isn’t too rough.
*it’s a Shadow Piloswine and it gives me more trouble than I’d care to admit. Still, it is caught*
Alright, now to go heal Omega who kinda got owned. After that I’ll see what’s at the end of this shadow Pokemon gauntlet.

*when I get to the bottom, there’s a bunch of green water. And I mean GREEN*
Holy shit, is this supposed to be sewage water or lime Kool-Aid? I swear, I have never in my life seen water this green. It’s like they dyed it for St. Patrick’s day but forgot to use the non-permanent dye. I don’t even want to know what that shit is, because water it ain’t.

*yet another female trainer blocks the way at the bottom, this time with a shadow Sneasle*
And I can’t switch Mario out! Jeeze I could lose that faint counter again if this goes south...
*Actually it doesn’t seem to have any dark type attacks, so I catch it without much trouble.*
Well that was a nice surprise to contrast with the nasty surprise of that fucking Stantler. Seriously, fuck that Stantler.

*A quick heal later I step through the door that last girl was guarding and walk in on Venus talking with a couple female Peons*
So they’re looking to flee to the Pokemon Lab in the desert eh? Well, that’s convenient...
*She notices me and reacts much the same way you’d expect her to react to a spider before dashing onto a subway car. Funnily enough, she doesn’t leave immediately, allowing me to take a moment to find some Blackglasses before following*
How courteous of you, holding the train for me. Thank you very much!
*enters the train to find it empty, and when I exit again I find I am being ambushed*
Venus: “Ohohohoho! You are so easy to dupe! See? The key for the Shadow Liner is right here. You didn’t think I would really let you take our train? Beh! Bye bye, and this time I mean it! Don’t you dare forget about me!”
Wait, how did you dupe me? You just got on a train and took the keys, running out before I could get you? That’s not duping me, that’s just outrunning me (which is even more impressive than duping me considering that that dress you’re wearing must be hell to run in).

*I follow her back out and find the key for the train lying on the ground*
... Really? You go to all that trouble taunting me with it and you can’t even hold onto it as you make your get away? You... you’re not very smart are you Venus?

*A quick ride on the train later*
Oh great, there are two male Cipher Peon’s waiting for me. More battles!
*nope... instead they run inside the base after saying they wouldn’t let me get in.*
If you don’t want to let me in, WHY DID YOU JUST RUN AWAY AND LEAVE ME TO MY OWN DEVICES?? God the people in this game are morons!
*I walk a step closer and the door fucking EXPLODES*
... Yeah, putting a massive hole in the wall is going to stop me from walking right in. Seriously, what the hell people?

*finds a U-Disk in a chest*
Hmmm I’m curious, I think I’ll make a quick trip back and test where this takes me.
*It takes me straight up all the way back to the windmill in Pyrite town, where there’s a Time Flute in a chest*
Well that was unexpected. A second Time Flute? I thought there was only one!

*Heads back and enters the destroyed door*
Holy crap, it caused a massive rift to open up in the floor somehow. I can’t get across it to the staircase on the other side. I guess they were preventing me from getting in.
Peon 1: “Don’t you think that was overdoing things a little?”
Peon 2: “Uh... It’s too late now... Come on, let’s skedaddle!”
... No shit, blowing up your own motherfucking base to prevent me entering might just be a tad extreme. And a tad moronic... ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU LEAVE THE KEY TO THE MAIN GATE ON THE SIDE OF THE FLOOR I CAN ACESS. I think I’m getting stupider just from being in the same room as these morons.

Anyway, I guess I’ll go and head for the main gate now then. This should only take a few minutes...
*A few minutes later I’m inside*
Alright, let’s move.
*A little bit into the lab I overhear a Researcher talking to himself*
Apparently they’re actually in the process of moving out of this lab... but to where? And why? Is it because of me? Also he mentioned an “extra assignment” he was being used for. Then he noticed me and attacked with two underleveled Voltorbs. They did not last long. And he dropped a Card Key I needed to get into the main lab too! I’m rambling!

*I take an elevator down into the main lab which appears to be quite extensive with branching paths*
Oh joy, looks like this is going to take a while...
*Comes across another elevator at the end of a hallway*
Oh bullshit, multiple floors too? This is promising to be very annoying...
*Travels throughout the lab beating a couple people, finding more locked doors and annoyance*
STOP SCREWING WITH ME GAME! Sometimes I don’t like exploring, and right now is one of those times!

*A Castaform OHKOs poor DR.PROTECT in a single Weather Ball*
Yeah, rain + Quadruple weakness + STAB 100 BP attack = dead no matter that it’s a fucking Castaform. I really should not have kept him in when it started raining...

*A quick trip to Agate to heal allows me to finally buy those damn scents I’ve been meaning to get for a while, while I also rematch that old man in front of the Pokemart*
A little break doesn’t hurt... especially since there’s no healing spot in that damn lab so far.

*Heads back, finds a DNA Sample on a table*
A DNA sample...? Why am I taking this? Why did this in particular stick out in a lab full of sciency stuff? Oh whatever... better to just not question it.

*All the researchers down here just spam Thunder which NEVER FUCKING MISSES*
Goddamit, they got Mario with it. I am wishing so freaking hard I had a ground type right now, because this is REALLY getting on my nerves! They do so much damage with 120BP STAB attacks...
*A Magneton manages to hit Fluffy with Thunder through Confusion and paralysis, almost KOing her*
SEE WHAT I FUCKING MEAN!?!?!?!?
*Does it again and KOs Omega*
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
*Next it manages to 2HKO DR.PROTECT through Light Screen after Klepto gets FP’d, failing to confuse it agan*
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*it actually runs out of Thunder PP and starts using Tackle before I can take it down. EVERY LAST ONE OF ITS THUNDERS CONNECTED AND IT NEVER GOT FP’D*
This... good lord. What have I done to piss you off RNG gods? WHAT HAVE I DONE???

*I find a key to another part of the lab and learn that all the Shadow Pokemon have already been moved somewhere else.*
Alright, now to go heal and buy more supplies... I hope I can get another faint counter for Mario soon...

*As I head to the under in order to get more supplies I find out that the people in Miror B’s place are up for fighting again*
The hell? Again already? The levels on their Pokemon haven’t even changed at all. Ah well, I think I’ll rematch them all while I’m here, get the Feathers and Faint Tokens for Mario and get some levels. It sure seems like I need all the extra levels I can get right now.

*Kelpto and Mario pass up Mean look and Psych Up respectively*
Useless, both of them. At least I got another feather for Mario. That makes what, 8 now?
*Mario maxes out his faint counter and finally gets the Squirrel Suit, allowing him to switch out*
OH, THANK THE HEAVENS! This will make keeping Mario alive so, so much easier. It’s about goddamn time really.
*many battles later Mario gets KO’d by Mirakle B.’s Electrode which uses Explosion*
.... On the last fight he faints, after I earn like a bajillion faint counters that didn’t count because I was maxed... GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE!!!!!!!
Well at least everyone except Mario is at level 44 now, and Mario should catch up right away.

*I go down to the Under and buy my stuff... only to come up again and find that everyone wants to battle again*
Ok, no. I’ve done enough grinding today, thanks. Though I should get Mario a faint token at least though...
*Does so quickly*

*Finally get back to the lab*
Alright, now to move on in here... I’m really hoping there are no more Thunder spamming researchers. I think I’ve had enough of Thunder to last me until the next millennium.
*gets ambushed by a Cipher Peon instead*
Alright, maybe this won’t be insanely annoying then! Maybe.
*thankfully it’s easy as heck, and I get a Shadow Murkrow for my trouble*
That was definitely a nice break from the shit the game had been giving me earlier I have to say. Maybe it’ll keep up? (God why do I have to tempt fate like that).

*A couple minutes later another one drops down*
Alright whatever let’s get this over with.
*Turns out to be another easy battle which I get a Forretress from*
Damn that thing took forever to wear down. Ah well, got it done now.

*I fight another one with a Shadow Ariados*
It’s a good thing I got so many drinks from the Under because there still hasn’t been anywhere to heal around here...
*I accidentally faint the Shadow Ariados*
Shit. Well it’s been too long since I saved, so I am NOT resetting. Surely I can come back and get it again later...

*Another Peon fights me with a shadow Granbull*
Maybe I won’t faint this one so I don’t have to fight even more people down here again?
*yeah I actually catch it this time*
Alright, now I need to go heal and restock again so I’ll check out these THREE elevators later. Seriously, 3? Why : (

*coming back out from the Under battling that Chaser YET AGAIN has Fluffy level up and learn Refresh!*
There we go, now my Dragonbreath requirement is filled. Shame, Safeguard is more useful but I need my other moves really.

*Back in the lab up the first elevator*
A DNA analyser? Well that’s awfully convenient! Then again, I guess it actually DOES make sense to have it here for once. Props game, you actually got something right for a change.
*It’s identified as Croconaw’s DNA sample*
Alright, so it’s Voice’s DNA. Yay? This accomplished so much! This had better be more useful later...

*another Researcher appears with his electric types ready to annoy*
Oh god not more Thunder spam. Please no more Thunder spam.
*oh, not just Thunder Spam. RAIN DANCE THUNDER SPAM*
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG
*Thanks to a Full Restore I manage to avoid any faints in the fight*
Alright, now hopefully things will be nice to me no- hell is that noise?
*The Researcher sets off an alarm, which doesn’t seem to do anything except make the lights all red*
He said this will keep us from escaping but I fail to see how...
*I battle a Cipher Peon with a Shadow Vibrava*
Alright this should be easy!
*I screw up and get Mario fainted*
*sigh* well there goes another faint counter.
*At least the rest of the battle goes off without a hitch*

*past that Peon is a locked door with a strange lock with pictures of many Pokemon*
Hmmm well this is clearly important soooo I’m going to try that last elevator before I do anything else.
*Turns out it’s not an elevator at all but another room with another Researcher*
Oh goody, another Thunder spamming freak.
*Actually this one has two underleveled Electrodes that don’t use Thunder at all*
Wait what? Well I guess that’s a nice surprise.
*there’s another DNA Sample on the ground*
Ah, well I know what to do with this...
*It’s Entie’s DNA*
Alright, now I wonder if I can open that door...

*nope, I need 3 DNA samples and I only have 2*
Goddamit, where’s the one I missed...
*Doesn’t take me long to find it*
Goddamit how did I miss that the first time? Well it’s a Raikou sample anyway so now I can actually get through that door. Huzzah, progress!

*I go through the door and encounter that Peon named Skrub again*
Oh hai der, ready to get your ass whupped again? Yup, I think so.
*He has a Wobbuffet*
FUUUUUUUUUU-
*Which is actually not that bad when you can toxic stall it to death*
- nevermind. He doesn’t even have a shadow pokemon :D! That was probably the easiest battle I’ve had in this entire place. Even the guy with two lv 37 Electrodes was harder!

*The next room houses Ein*
Oh boy, I hope I’m healthy enough for this fight...
Ein: “Ahh! How did you get in without my notice?”
... Dude, there’s an alarm going off and everything.

*SO the battle starts with his Golbat and Huntail taking the lead*
Alright, here goes nothing... Klepto won’t be much use against these two so I’ll switch him out for DR.PROTECT while Omega Cross Chops that Huntail. Hopefully I can OHKO that thing...
*Of course not, Golbat uses Confuse ray which causes Omega to hit himself while the Huntail uses Rain Dance*
OK, Dr. Protect isn’t staying in now and neither is Omega. Let’s see... Fluffy and Voice should do OK in the rain.
*good thing I switched, because Surf gets used and Fluffy and Voice easily absorb the hit*
Thank lord... alright, time for a Surf of my own and a Dragon Breath to hopefully paralyze that Golbat annoyance.
*both his Pokemon use frickin’ confuse ray. Voice hit’s himself in confusion of course. Why the hell not.*
Oh god no, with my luck I’ll never get to attack... well let’s try to heal Voice a bit (just in case) while I go for another Surf. Maybe this time it’ll, y’know, WORK.
*Nope, hit myself in confusion again. Both his Pokemon use Bite, revealing this bastards strategy*
Flinch-fusion. Oh hell no. Oh FUCK no!
*Luckily both my Pokemon get off attacks this time, paralyzing Huntail and bringing them both into the yellow*
Just into the yellow? Really? Rain Boosted Surf did only that much? This... this is kinda bad.
*A few more turns and they both snap out of confusion and KO their opponents, both in good health thanks to a steady supply of Fresh Waters*
I am so glad I bought those. Now let’s see, and Altaria and a Lanturn are next eh? Well Voice isn’t going to be much use here... Mario, cmon out!
*Fluffy nails the opposing Altaria with Dragonbreath for slightly less than ½ of its health, but is hit in return by a surprise Ice Beam, getting her KO’d*
Shit, did not see that coming. Alright, Omega can come back out now I suppose.
*Of course the Lanturn uses Thunder the same turn, which hits and paralyzes Mario as he switches in*
....................... FUCK YOU THUNDER. FUCK YOU SO HARD.
*I spend the next turn healing Mario to full HP (if not full health), while Omega misses with Cross Chop and Lanturn is FP’d and Altaria flies into the air*
Well no points for guessing who it’s targeting with that. Thankfully Altaria hits like a pillow so a Reflect from Mario should prevent major damage. I just have to heal his paralysis first...
*Reflect limits the damage Omega Takes, but the Lanturn fires off a Rain Dance*
Aw shit. Alright, all forces attack that Lanturn! It’s paralyzed so I should be able to smash it down before it gets off a Thunder... I hope.
*Cross chop misses of course, so Omega gets nailed by a rain boosted Hydro Pump and faints*
... Bullshit. I fucking hate the moves Omega has. Alright, Klepto come on in... Thankfully he’s already snatched once so I can go right for the Confuse Ray. I can para-flinch-fusion too asshole!
*Fly does laughable damage to Kelpto while Lanturn thankfully hits itself in confusion.*
Alright, I’ll aim for the Altaria now. If I can I want that Raikou that’s certainly his last Pokemon to be on its own.
*Lanturn goes down, but Altaria uses Pursuit through its confusion to hurt Mario. At least I manage to poison it.*
Great. Anyway, I need to get Reflect back up and Confuse Ray is out of PP so I need to use an Ether... Good lord, I just realized there wasn’t a single healing station in this entire place. That’s just terrible level design Genius Sorority.
*Thunder from Raikou brings Mario to 1HP*
Holy crap that was close, now I ca-
*Stupid Altaria hits through Confusion with Pursuit and faints Mario*
.... Fuck you. Thank god for faint counters...
*DR.PROTECT comes in as a replacement, ready to set up a Light Screen*
Alright, let’s prepare for capture. Kelpto can confuse it to protect DR.PROTECT puts up Light Screen. Don’t need to worry about Altaria, as it’ll die from Toxic now.
*Thunder actually misses for once though confusion failed too, and DR.PROTECT tanks a weak Pursuit from Altaria and sets up the Light Screen*
Goood, now to Yawn at this Raikou and wear it down.
*goes spectacularly to plan as Raikou hits itself twice in a row, Flamethrower does NOT burn him and he falls asleep soundly*
Alright, ball throwing time!
.
.
.
That was innuendo wasn’t it.
*A couple balls later it wakes up and hits itself in confusion again, putting it in the red*
It had better not kill itself...
*hits itself again, leaving it with a sliver of health*
Oh god no. I haven’t saved in ages!
*Throws a Timer Ball as a last resort*
*shake. Shake. Shake. CAUGHT!*
OH HELL YES! That was way too close for comfort.

Ein: Humph! Your struggle to get here was all in vain! The Shadow Pokemon we produced have already been moved elsewhere. And that, of coure, includes the ultimate Shadow Pokemon I created for the boss! Wahahahahahah!” *runs away*
Wow, for once the enemy didn’t feel obligated to tell me where to go next. I’m impressed.
*Finds a Data Rom on his desk*
Ah cool, though I’m pretty sure he said he was wiping it before he noticed us so I’m not sure how useful it’ll be. Anyway, I had better go heal. That battle was rough; half my party is fainted...

*I leave through a one way exit, receiving an email as I leave the building*
Ah, and here will be our cue on where to go next I bet! Let’s see...
Email: “hi, this is Nett. If you find any data at the Shadow Pokemon Lab, Please bring it to me in the Under. I’ll be waiting.”
.... ok you just lost all your points you earned for not having the bad guy spill the beans with that one game. That was ridiculously plot convenient.

Anyway, I think this is a good place to leave off. Next time, we find out what the hell is on this data disk, if anything! Until then, audios!

END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Location: Pyrite Town
Pokemon: 6
Pokemon Purified: 7 (Go Time Flute!)
Pokemon Snagged: 31
Retries: 6 (though I was given a good run for my money...)

Pokemon:


Klepto the Umbreon
Level 45 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Hardy – Item: Blackglasses – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Faint Attack
Toxic
Confuse Ray
Snatch

Klepto is a blessing and a curse. He’s a blessing in that he’s nearly indestructible, and Confuse Ray and Toxic help me get out of lots of binds. I don’t know what I’d’ve done against Skrub’s Wobbuffet had I not had Kelpto leading in that match. On the other hand, the fact he can’t attack directly 90% of the time and needs to use Snatch before he can do anything else can be extremely annoying at times, as sometimes I need to inflict that last bit of damage to KO the opponent, not sit there looking pretty. Snatch itself is pretty much utterly useless, barely ever actually getting anything and almost never getting anything useful. Also, it’s very rare for enemies to actually target him; they seem to know he’ll take whatever they can dish out so they aim at his more vulnerable teammates first, and Kelpto often has difficulty aiding those teammates thanks to his lack of attacks and the unreliability of confusion. Still, I find him one of the more useful members of my party, which says something about the quality of my team this time around...


Mario the Espeon
Level 45 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Naughty – Item: Twistedspoon – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Psybeam
Return
Reflect
Helping Hand
Powerups:
Micro Mushroom
Fire Flower
Feather: 10/10
Lives remaining: 3

Hey would you look at that, Mario finally got all the useful powerups he needed! He can finally switch out whenever I want him too, which is an absolute godsend considering Mario’s limited number of lives and fragility. Speaking of that fragility, it’s really starting to show. At least he’s fast and powerful enough that he’s not too difficult to keep alive. I felt like I was noticing weakness on the specially defensive side this chapter as well as the defensive side, though that’s probably more because most of the special attacks this chapter were STAB 120 BP moves (Seriously, fuck Thunder to hell and back). It’s a damn good thing Faint counters aren’t that hard to stock up on against weaker foes, because otherwise he’d be a Boo by now. Still, he’s by far my most useful team member and I don’t know what I’d do without him.


Omega the Hariyama
Level 45 – Ability: Thick Fat – Nature: Hasty – Item: Black Belt – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Foresight (unusable)
Focus Energy (unusable)
Vital Throw
Cross Chop

Oh Omega, how you disappoint me so. You hit like a truck, but since you so rarely manage to actually get a hit in it doesn’t matter. Your bulk is decent but not nearly good enough to make up for your low speed against powerful opponents, especially since they almost always seem to target you first. You’re limited to two moves of the same type as well, each with crippling drawbacks. Either I go last, which against slow by powerful foes is a massive pain, or I run a seemingly 80% chance of missing with Cross Chop. Either way, when you finally get a chance to move you always seem to squander it. If only I had put you under the effects of Taunt instead of Torment, maybe it’d be better because then I could actually choose the right moves when I needed to, but instead I’m forced to use one when I need the other. I’m realizing now that even if I had it Bulk Up would be useless anyway... oh well, I made my stupid choice and now I have to live with it. I just wish you’d learn a few more fighting moves so I’d at least have some choice when you battle.


Voice the Feraligatr
Level 45 – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Rash – Item: Mystic Water – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Rain Dance
Scary Face
Slash
Surf

Voice really has to pick up the slack for his teammates these days, with half of them failing left and right. STAB attacks hit him almost always these days so getting a chance to attack with him isn’t usually an issue anymore, and when he can attack he’s usually pretty useful. He’s not exactly a powerhouse, but he’s got decent bulk and I usually find him carrying the battle when I use him. Rain Dance doesn’t get used terribly often though, as it frequently helps the opponent as much as it helps me, but it can be useful in some situations. Overall probably the most improved Pokemon over the past few chapters, and one saving grace for this team which is quickly becoming a pain to use.


DR.PROTECT the Magcargo
Level 45 – Ability: Flame Body – Nature: Relaxed – Item: Quick Claw – Purified? Yes – Gender: Female
Moves:
Light Screen
Yawn
Reflect
Flamethrower

DR.PROTECT, oh you have fallen so far. You were always so useful before, but I the addition of a certain restriction has turned you from useful to nearly useless in a heartbeat. Having to use both Reflect and Light Screen every time she comes in (unless Reflect is already up from Mario, something I have abused multiple times) has crippled her far more than I thought it would. Because of how slow she is, her screens often don’t get up in time to save her from her opponents attacks, and even with the screens up Water type attacks (which are friggin’ everywhere) still do enough to 2HKO her in most cases, meaning that she’s stuck putting up Reflect as she dies the next turn. Now, when she finally DOES get a chance to attack she does just fine, with Flamethrower doing decent damage with useful coverage. The problem is that usually by the time she gets the chance to attack she’s already so weak she’s pretty much done for. Of all my Pokemon in this chapter she has probably fainted the most, and that’s saying something considering how rough this chapter was. I have to say I’m spectacularly disappointed at how she turned out in the end, and I see little hope of her improving.


Fluffy the Altaria
Level 45– Ability: Natural Cure – Nature: Timid – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Female
Moves:
Dragon Breath
Sing
Refresh
Fly

Fluffy is one of the other saving graces of my team, as she’s one of the few who doesn’t regularly frustrate me. While her attacks are pretty pathetically weak, she makes up for it with good speed, bulk and utility. Sing in particular is useful, at least when it actually hits. Paralysis is very useful for my slow-as-fuck team as well, and Dragonbreath does a good job of spreading it alongside Synchronize from Klepto and Mario (only thing Thunder is good for!). Losing Safeguard for Refresh is a bit of a blow, but I didn’t use it a whole lot anyway. Fly still sees little use, but it can be helpful at times. If this were any other scramble I had done, I’d probably consider her one of my worst due to her low attack power and only slightly above average bulk, but on this team of misfits she stands out near the top.


Hey there everyone, it’s time to check out what data was on that disk that Ein left for us.
*turns out it’s a list of the Shadow Pokemon that have been made, but of course it was wiped as I expected*
Yeah, can’t say I didn’t see that coming. Anyway apparently Nett says he’ll try to recover the data somehow and he’ll contact me when he does. I don’t know why Ein didn’t just smash the thing to bits, it would’ve been so much more sure to be taken care of then...

So, where do I go next for real then?
*I talk to the kid outside the base just randomly and he tells me to talk to Silva about Realgam tower*
Well there we go! But before I do that, I have something to take care of.

Well really, more like 100 somethings. Yeah, I’m going to do a whole bunch of the stuff I’ve neglected up until now, starting with at least part of Mt. Battle! And then all the colosseum’s I’ve passed up until now, and that Pre-gym leader from ages ago, and trying to get that Ariados I missed... lots of stuff basically.

Alright Mt. Battle is mostly just a bunch of battles against weak Pokemon until you get to a certain point so I won’t bore you with the details. I’ll just relay anything particularly interesting/infuriating to you guys as I go.

Oh, and by “weak” Pokemon I mean the first battle starts out against a level 16 Tailow and a lv 15 Hoothoot. And you’re fully healed after each battle. There won’t be anything interesting for a while, trust me.

*Gets to the end of the first area and faces off against Area Leader Vander*
Wait a second... area leader? BOSS MONS BAHAHAHAHA! At level 18 and 20! Finally Voice is going to get his solos in due to exploiting a loophole! YAY CHEATING!
*OHKO’s two Pokemon with surf finally fulfilling that dumb restiriction*
Seriously, if I ever do another Colosseum scramble I’m just going ahead and saying “no solos” because they work terrible for double battles.

*continues on and encounters 0 resistance through area 2*
Don’t worry, things will pick up come later areas when they actually start using Pokemon around my level. After that they’ll actually be too high for me so I’ll have to move on to something else.

*by the end of area 3 the Pokemon have just hit level 30*
Good lord this is going to take a while before I get to good battles isn’t it?
*BOOM and suddenly lava out of nowhere*
Holy shit, when did I enter a dark lava filled chamber? Jeeze, there are no railings on these platforms. This place CANNOT be OSHA compliant.

*At battle #34 I finally encounter the first opponent I do not OHKO*
But it was because I was using a 4x resisted attack... seriously, this shit is so easy it’s embarrassing.

*Several battles later*
Klepto wants to learn Screech eh? Well that actually could be useful, except that Klepto doesn’t really have space for it. Unfortunately, I’ll have to pass this one up...

*Finally in the next area things start actually halfway posing threats, being only 10 levels below me*
Hey, I don’t OHKO everything anymore! Maybe I’ll have some fun here yet!

*I level up with Voice and accidentally delete Rain Dance and get Screech instead*
... Well I do want Screech, but I wanted to get rid of Scary Face not Rain Dance! ACK! Well, I know where I’m going after this... Phenac Colosseum is where I can obtain the Rain Dance TM, and it should be easy enough to get that. So, I guess I’ll head there come next rest stop...
.
.
.
God I need to pay more attention when I’m playing this shit.

Random Athelete after defeat: “I’m dripping with perspiration!”
.
.
.
Ew.

*Mario is trying to learn Psychic!*
... I so wish I could.
*DENIED*

*Finally beat the area 5 boss*
Alright, now to go to Phenac and get Voice Rain Dance back!\
*Quickly heads there and enters the challenge*
Alright, I’ll TRY to solo this with Voice without Rain Dance at first, but if things start going downhill I’ll just do it next time.
*Enters the stadium*
Woah this place is fancy, water falling all over, pretty flags, and some sort of water coloured gemstone glittering on the ceiling (or is that a globe of suspended water??). This place puts Pyrite to shame.
*First battle is against 2 unevolved lv 40 normal types*
Huh, I might actually be able to solo this without rain dance...
OH also I’m changing the definition of a solo in double battles for this to mean that the soloer has to be the only one to inflict damage. Status conditions that don’t inflict status and basically everything else is fair game. Why? Because fuck solos in Colosseum. Ruins the whole damn point of the game and they’re as annoying as hell D:< If I take another Colosseum scramble someday, there’ll be a “no solos” rule gottit?
*First battle is ridiculously easy*
Alright, will this pick up at all or do I have a clear shot to victory?
*Second battle contains 2 OHKOs and Voice barely being scratched*
Geeze, and I thought I’d need rain dance for this?
*Also, the semi-final battle music for Colosseums is awesome*
Damn this is way too easy. Alright, Finals up next!
*He has three Pokemon all 5+ lower than Voice and unevolved*
... I’d say this was anticlimactic if anything had been building up to this battle in the first place.
*Voice effortlessly completes his requirement to solo a Colosseum*
Well, that was about 10 times easier than I thought. I thought for sure they’d be at least level 50s... Well, I’m not complaining. Time to learn rain dance again Voice!

Alright, now I’m going to do Phenac Colosseum three more times to get the other three TMs obtainable here. I’ll fill you in if anything interesting actually happens (which probably won’t).
*After slogging through another 4 trainers with extremely weak Pokemon*
Good lord it’s Mt. Battle all over again. At least I got TM 11 Sunny Day out of it.
*After another solid trouncing of underleveled Pokemon*
I’m really starting to feel bad pounding on these unevolved weaklings with my fully evolved monsters. Ah well, TM 19 Giga Drain obtained! DR.PROTECT also got the option to learn Rockslide, but I passed it up due to his craptacular Attack and Yawn’s utility. It is the only way I can put Shadow Pokemon to sleep after all, thanks to Fluffy’s restriction against fighting them.
*One more uneventful challenge later*
Alright, TM 22 Solar beam and we’re done here. I will almost certainly be using none of these TMs meaning this was almost completely a waste of time, but the OCD in me wouldn’t let me not do it. Hope you enjoyed that.

Alright, now before we leave Phenac there’s another loose end I haven’t tied up yet here. Remember that pre-gym? Yeah, we still haven’t fought the leader Justy there yet, so let’s go do that now! There’s a 89% chance his Pokemon are horrifically underleveled, and I just pulled that statistic out of the air. Point being, don’t expect much.

*Justy has underleveled unevolved Pokemon. Shocker!*
Yeah... anyway, he has 6 of them. Should be easy.
*Start Sandstorm and evasion spamming, after many misses and a few Ariel Aces from his Gligar, Omega actually almost faints*
... Wow this is bullshit.
*From then on in I actually use a bit of strategy and win without any faints... but two go into the red*
Well that was a lot more annoying than I expected. Evasion stall with sandstorm... goddamn that crap. He had Sand Viel Pokemon out the wazoo of course. But hey, I got TM 27 Return for my trouble and that’s actually a good move! I might well teach that to someone at some point.

Anyway, next up is Pyrite Colosseum! Let’s see if it’s any harder over there shall we?
*BOOM level 50+*
... I might not win this.
*First fight goes fairly well with Mario’s Reflect allowing Omega to beat up on the normal types*
Alright, onto the next one. I am not at all confident this is going to end in me winning btw.
*Lv 52 Delecatty and lv 51 Jigglypuff*
At least they only have 2 or three Pokemon most of the time...
*Goes fairly easily using the same strategy*
Man I am glad I decided to go with Mario and Omega in the lead spot...
*next up is a lv 52 Doduo, a lv 51 Loudred and a lv 53 Furret*
At least I’m likely to get lots of experience here... I’m worried Mario is going to faint though.
*Finals has a Chaser with 4 Pokemon, including the first one that isn’t at least part normal, a lv 53 Koffing*
Well that won’t be an issue with Mario around, but I still think I’m going to put up Reflect first.
*After the coffing goes down, a lv 55 Combusken comes out*
Well am I ever glad I have Mario out now...
*Combusken is OHKO’d, revealing his final Pokemon to be a Swellow. However, Omega is KO’d when the Sklakoth he failed to KO last round pulls a reversal out of its ass.*
Well damn. This is starting to get a little hairy...
*Swellow is Glowing!*
OH FUCK DIE DIE DIE DIE
*Thankfully, Fluffy, who came in for Omega, paralyzes it wtih Dragonbreath*
Whew... alright, now I can finish it before it lets off that Sky Attack. I don’t think anyone other than Dr. Protect could take that...
*Victory! I get TM 01 Focus Punch!*
Hey another move for Omega, not that he’ll ever get the chance to pull it off! At least I’ll have another option... Now to do this 3 more times! Oh lord this is going to be nerve-wracking.

*Round 2 starts with a couple unevolved grass types. I’m leading with Voice and DR.PROTECT this match*
The good thing is that if some of my Pokemon DO faint they’re healed between battles so with the exception of Mario there’s no consequences for it. I just have to concentrate on winning overall which shouldn’t be TOO difficult.
*Second battle has DR.PROTECT and Voice both come close to fainting, but in the end I win without either going down*
DR.PROTECT survived that with 1HP and Voice with 9 (and poisoned!). Honestly... I’m kinda liking the extra challenge here.
*Third battle has Voice faint due to the overwhelming presence of Grass types this round. Fluffy comes out and cleans up*
Of course the one where I lead with Voice would be the one overflowing with Grass types. Why the hell not?
*The finals start out with a lv 53 Nuzleaf and a lv 52 Grovyle*
Yeah I’m going to lose voice here probably... oh well
*Grovyle outspeeds Voice and takes in Sunlight*
Yup, Light Screen or not he’s fucked. I think I’ll be nice and switch him out...
*Swapped out to Fluffy, who is barely scratched by it*
*Trollface*
*Next Solar Beam crits and OHKOs DR.PROTECT*
Grovyle: *Trollface*
....... fuck you too.
*His Nuzleaf was replaced by a Lairon so I send voice back in. Fluffy comes down from her Fly and KOs that Grovyle right back*
But I get the last laugh!
*The Lairon is predictably OHKO’d by Surf, and I win the second tournament!*
Alright! Just two more to go! This time I get TM 07 Hail... utterly useless to me unfortunately. Two more times to go here!

*I lead with Voice and DR.PROTECT again. First battle is against two ground types, setting the stage for this round*
... Ground types? Aw shit, DR.PROTECT is toast... At least Voice won’t have trouble this time.
*He actually survives the first battle easily, though this might have something to do with taking no Ground Type attacks*
The real trick here is going to be avoiding KOing more than two Pokemon with Voice...
*Next battle sees little difficulty with the opponent only having two Pokemon that go down quickly*
I think that might’ve been the easiest battle I’ve done in here so far...
*Next opponent also has two Pokemon, but these are higher level and 2nd stage evolutions. Unfortunately for my opponent, they are a Graveler and Pupitar*
Surf’s up dude!
*DOUBLE OHKO! BOOM SHAKALAKA!*
That was probably the single worst built team for doubles ever in the history of Pokemon.
*Next battle has the guy lead with a Gligar and Quagsire*
This on the other hand is a bit nastier... well maybe DR.PROTECT can get up a screen before going down... Now Voice doesn’t need any more training so I’ll take him out and put in Klepto. Besides, I might need Voice later in the fight...
*DR.PROTECT only manages to get Reflect up before being OHKO’d by Quagsire’s Waterfall, but Flame Body burned it*
Well that actually turned out fairly well. Mario is going to come out now, as Omega is weak to Gligar’s Ariel Ace and the other two are halfway to level 50.
*Mario 2HKOs the Gligar but takes some heavy damage in the process, much to my dismay*
Gosh dang it, I don’t want Mario to faint here... I guess I’ll just hope for confusion hax. Surely that Shelgon he just sent in isn’t that threatening riiiight?
*Well not when it gets OHKO’d by a Critical Psybeam it isn’t. His final Pokemon is Pelipper, who gets Confused as it comes in by Klepto*
And Mario lives another day, thanks to hax! Nice to see it work in my favor for once...
*Quagsire goes down to Psybeam the next turn while the Pelipper is hit with Toxic, and then hit by itself*
Alright, looking good! Maybe Mario can get out of this without losing a faint counter!
*For once I didn’t jinx myself, and thanks to confusion hax I win yet another TM*
Let’s see what I got... TM05 Roar. Well... that’s pretty much useless. Ah well, maybe the next one will be better?

*First battle of the final round starts with a Pikachu and a Minum, showing the theme this time to be electric types. I enter with Klepto and DR.PROTECT in the lead*
Oh joy, what’s the bet I see more Thunder spamming later on...
*Second one pulls a Wailmer out of nowhere to go with her Voltorb*
Ok, that’s slightly odd but whatever. I just hope it doesn’t murder DR.PROTECT before she can get up a screen.
*Not really, but she still fainted. Funilly enough, the Voltorb did far more damage. Next one has a Magnemite and Larvitar leading*
*yawn* did I say this was going to be nerve wracking a few challenges ago?
*The next battle starts off against an Electrode and Lunatone*
Dang, finally they bring out the big guns. Took them long enough this round. I forsee an Explosion coming...
*nope, instead the Electrode focuses on Screeching like crazy. The Lunatone is the one that Explodes while Electrode Protects, KOing poor Klepto*
Well that sucked. Of course though, it`s not like you`re going to be able to win just by exploding...
*Instead the Machoke that comes in tries to KO DR.PROTECT with Dynamic Punch, before getting OHKO’d itself by a Focus Punch from Omega*
I guess that move turned out useful after all. Just gotta be able to predict the opponent...
*Yeah, shame I didn’t predict the Explosion that took Omega down to 8HP right after Ampharos came in*
Ah whatever, I still have 4 Pokemon left and he has one. Time to die!
*Mario comes in but only does around 1/3 to the Ampharos with Psybeam, while it finishes off Omega with Strength of all things*
Ah whatever, come in Fluffy. This won’t last much longer. Stupid explosion though, half my team is down.
*Another couple turns sees Ampharos fall without incident giving me my final victory at Pyrite Colosseum*
So what TM do I get this time? TM31... BRICK BREAK! Awww yeah, now Omega is in business! Finally I get a move with perfect accuracy and normal priority... this should help the poor big guy out a lot.

Alright, I did a quick check and saw that the Pokemon in the Under Colosseum outlevel me by up to 10 levels, so I’m not going there right away. Instead, I am first going to go see if I can catch that Ariados I missed last chapter...

*The Shadow Pokemon lab is completely empty*
... Well fuck. I had better be able to recapture that Ariados at some point because otherwise I’ll be awfully pissed I didn’t just waste all the other Shadow Pokemon I encountered up until now.
*Checks GameFAQs and finds out that no, I don’t get another chance to catch it*
Welp, looks like I’m not going for 100% purification from now on! Alright then Shadow Pokemon, from now on YOU ALL DIE BITCHEEEES!

Soooo then... I guess I’ll finish off some of Mt. Battle then eh?
*I teleport up to Area 6 and begin my slaughter anew, with the first area falling without difficulty*
Alright, now everyone is level 50! I should be able to do another area or two before I’m forced to give in. The next area will have the opponents reach around my level (finally) so it might actually be a challenge.
*after two battles in Area 7*
Wow yeah, difficulty level has definitely taken a jump. Each of them appears to have 4 Pokemon at least, all around level 45 with decent strategies. Still, no real difficulties so far... Oh, the place is also literally above the clouds now, having finally left the magma chamber. Cool I guess... but the lava was better :D.
Lady in Suit: “You’re so lovely little boy!”
D:
*After a couple more battles, Klepto wants to learn Moonlight!*
:O I want to have this! However... I don’t have room. Tbh Klepto almost never gets to low health anyway and I can always use potions to heal just as well... I guess I’ll pass it up.
*Finally I reach the area boss*
Alright, now this promises to be a real fight. Let’s get to it shall we?
*He leads with a Machoke and a Mawile. The Machoke is OHKO’d by Psybeam from Mario, who levels up and learns Morning Sun instead of Helping Hand. Mawile is put to sleep by Fluffy too and a Quagsire comes out*
Well well well, that went really well. Now, someone else is coming out instead of Mario for training purposes, while Fluffy tries to put that Quagsire to sleep. Omega, come on out!
*Sing works, but Mawile comes back in. Fortunately, it just uses Crunch on Omega*
Alright, next up... DR.PROTECT, come in for Fluffy while Omega KOs that Quagsire... hopefully.
*Nope, Cross Chop misses and Quagsire wakes up and uses Amnesia*
Fudgemuffins. Alright, let’s try that again shall we?
*Dr.Protect manages to get Reflect up, surviving Quagsire’s Mudshot. The Mawile continues to be useless*
Ok, that Quagsire needs to go.
*It does go down as this time Cross Chop actually hits. Next up comes a Dusclops, much to my annoyance*
Well Omega won’t be hurting that. Guess that Mawile is finally going down while DR.PROTECT attempts to hurt that dang thing.
*Mawile is OHKO’d with ease before being replaced by Altaria. Flamethrower just misses out on the 2HKO on Dusclops, who Confuses Omega*
And now Omega is really useless. Voice, your turn!
*Voice gets hit by a critical Dragonbreath from Altaria, which Paralyzes him, as he switches in*
... That was haxy shit man.
*His Altaria uses Dragon Dance, but DR.PROTECT manages to finish off that damn Dusclops at least. Voice’s Slash isn’t looking promising though*
Dangit... Alright, Yawn time! And Screech I suppose.
*It uses Astonish. For reals. Screech and Yawn both work on it*
Astonish on a level 50 Altaria? Really? The hell is wrong with you man? Dragon Dance on it and you waste its other moveslots on Dragonbreath and ASTONISH? What the hell?
*yeah, it’s KO’d the next turn and I win the match*
Well that was easier than I expected. I’m tempted to go one more Area now... yeah, I think I’ll go for it! Hope you guys enjoy watching me fail...

*First battle has 4 Pokemon level 50 and up, which I beat without too much trouble*
Also, I discovered you CAN use items here, much to my surprise. As such, this is going to be a hell of a lot easier than I feared...
*The battles have gotten a lot longer, but so far not particularly harder*
I just totally jinxed myself didn’t I?
*Two more battles, up to #77 and so far it all seems fine...*
Waiting for the fail to kick in.....
*Two battles to go, no fail yet*
Waiting...
*Final battle*
Alright, it’s now or never. Here comes one of my toughest fights yet! Probably.
*it’s a hot chick! Hells yeah! She leads with Hariyama and a Cacturn while I lead with Voice and DR.PROTECT! Hell no!*
Aw shit, I could get in trouble here...
*Actually, Voice just gets seeded, allowing him to attack while DR.PROTECT is hit with Fake Out for minor damage*
Alright, I screeched that Cacturn so it should go down.
*Uh no, slash does not KO it. Hariyama uses Bulk up too, which is veeeery worrying*
Yeah I’m fucked.
*Cacturne would be KO’d, but Slash missed allowing voice and DR.PROTECT to both be hurt badly*
I’m fucked aren’t I.
*I get haxed by sand viel AGAIN leading to Voice fainting. DR.PROTECT lands a flamethrower on Hariyama but is then KO’d by Vital Throw*
Yeah this is not going well. Mario and Fluffy come out now!
*Hariyama is KO’d by Psybeam, While Fluffy flies into the air. Mario is hit by Faint Attack for some damage, and a Weezing comes out to replace Hariyama*
Alright, no more mucking around. That Weezing and Cacturne are going down!
*Weezing is OHKO’d by Psybeam, and Cacturn thankfully does not hax Fluffy’s Fly, which scores a KO on the Cacturne.*
Alright, so a Starmie and a Golem huh? Golem is the bigger threat, so down it goes!
*Golem is KO’d by Fluffy and Mario, leaving just Starmie, who boosts using Cosmic Power*
Alright, one more to go. I guess I will come out of this the winner... I just think I’ll leave the rest of Mt. Battle until later heh...
*Starmie barely gets hit by Mario and Fluffy, while it KOs Mario with Hydro Pump in return*
Dangit! At least I have faint counters still...
*Klepto comes in and uses Snatch while Hydro Pump misses. Fluffy continues to whittle away with Dragonbreath*
Not much longer surely...
*Hydro Pump misses again, and Starmie is pushed into the red and confused*
Alright! Now I’ve got this match in the bag.
*It hits itself and Fluffy finishes it off!*
Booyah! Now... I just need to get Voice and DR.PROTECT caught up with the rest of my party...

*A quick bit of grinding in Pyrite Town gets Mario back a Faint Counter*
Well anyway, think I might actually be strong enough to take on the Under Colosseum now! So yeah, that’s where I’m headed next!
*Enters a match*
Geeze the Colosseum here is like a mix of a cage match and Chinatown. Don`t ask me how that is it just is ok?
*Lead with Voice and DR.PROTECT*
Alright, what am I faciiiiii... a bunch of water types, great.
*DR.PROTECT is OHKO’d by a critical water gun the first turn*
Greeeeeeeeeeeat I fucked up coming here didn’t I?
*But then Omega comes in and KOs everything*
Or not.
*Round 2 goes veeeery similarly to Round 1*
Yeah I’m noticing a theme here.
*Semi-final has a double team spamming team. This time I switch out DR.PROTECT BEFORE he gets KO’d*
Alright finals... a level 57 Gorebyss eh? Thank lord Shell Smash doesn’t exist yet...
*It OHKOs DR.PROTECT through light screen*
... Well I can’t say I expect him to last long... Omega will easily clean this up. He’s been so awesome since getting Brick Break and Focus Punch. Amazing what two moves can do. Of course, now that he’s past level 50 he takes a shit tonne of experience to grow levels.
*The final battle is annoying thanks to the opponent using every method they have to prevent you from attacking, including paralysis, confusion and attraction. Still I win only losing DR.PROTECT*
Well you know what? I think I can manage this after all. Let’s keep going with this! I got TM 37 from this, which isn’t much use to me but hey. Maybe the next one will be better!

*Second round seems to be centered on Bug types, which gives DR.PROTECT a chance to make up for fainting so often last round*
Alright, this should be easier than the water types from the last round. I’m leading with DR.PROTECT and Klepto, and Klepto should be OK since there aren’t a lot of threatening bug type moves in gen III.
*Second battle goes well, despite a Sneasel’s attempt to muck over my Dual Screens with Brick Break*
Stupid Brick Break... both Klepto and the doctor are weak to it >.< still they won without any other help.
*Next battle almost sees my team sweeped by an Extrasensory and Confuse Ray using Grumpig*
Seriously... I have no luck. I hit myself at so many vital times... ah well, I still won.
*Aside from DR.PROTECT getting OHKO’d AGAIN, the final battle is rather easy.*
Also, now everyone is at level 54 now! Man, at this rate I’m going to be overleveled for the next part...
*For winning, I get TM 36 Sludge Bomb*
Yeah won’t likely be using that. However I will be using something else on Voice...
*Voice forgot how to use slash. And... Voice learned Return!*
Yeah, Slash was just lacking the power I need. This should help him out quite a bit methinks.
*Remembers suddenly about the 70BP restriction on Voice*
... Shit. I don’t want to go through that damn challenge again, not when everyone is so nice and evenly leveled... well I’ve already allowed Return once on Mario... I guess I might as well make it consistent across the board; variable power attacks are allowed with BP restrictions. God I feel like I’m cheating now though...

*I enter a third time, leading with DR.PROTECT and Voice again*
It’s easiest to keep the team even if I level Voice up first alright?
*Seems like Poison Type is the theme. One of them is Tentacool though*
Yup, DR.PROTECT is going down again.
*For some reason NOTHING attacks except a Dustox with Confusion, so he can’t attack. Then Omega gets haxed to death, and Mario almost gets haxed to death too.*
Good god. This... is... so... annoying! This battle would’ve been EASY had they just done SOMETHING to Voice! So... freaking... annoying!
*Next battle has Voice get 3HKO’d by a Machoke’s Seismic toss because I didn’t focus on it when I should have*
Gah... I do NOT want Voice to fall behind in levels. Because his participation is tied to DR.PROTECT’s it’s hard brining him into battle for exp...
*In the next battle Mario needs to step in to prevent the team being steamrolled, but after that it goes well since his entire team is weak to Psychic*
Nice teambuilding there buddy. Anyway, next up is the finals! I’m getting close to finishing this...
*The final battler uses flinch-fusion strategy, much to my annoyance. I end up using another one of my Hyper Potions to ensure Voice levels up during the battle, which he does.*
God I had hax based strategies... NPCs just seem to love them. Anyway, for that I got TM30 Shadow Ball! I would totally teach this to Mario, except it is 80BP and has a secondary effect, putting it just out of range of his restrictions. So yeah, it’s useless again.

*Fourth round go! Fluffy and Klepto lead the way!*
Hmmm a Dunsparce and a Shuppet? No real connection there... no theme this time?
*next one is a Duskull so Ghost type actually. Also, I discover that Shuppet can actually 3HKO itself in confusion*
Well that was easy. Oh, I haven’t mentioned it yet, but a lot of the trainers here seem still devoted to lady Venus and Cipher. I don’t think I’ve ever seen shadow Pokemon referred to so often...
*Second battle takes forever because I’m using my two most stallish Pokemon*
Geeze this could take a while with this team...
*next battle takes less time because of two Fighting Types which Fluffy easily destroys*
Yay! Ok, just one more to go here! I’ll be switching to someone else at the start though because both of them hit level 55 last battle.
*yeah not going to happen, Wobbuffet is in the lead spot*
... bullshit.
*Despite being confused the whole battle, Wobbuffet doesn’t hit itself once. This isn’t an issue until it uses Destiny Bond right as it dies from Toxic. But it doesn’t work for some reason*
Wait what? Why did tht fail? I am confused... well anyway, now I’m switching to the two that actually need exp. Go Omega and Mario!
*The remaining Cradily and Tentacruel fall easily to Mario (Omega hit himself in confusion 4 turns in a row)*
God I hate the RNG in this game. It hates me so much. Anyway, what do I get this time hmmmm?
*It’s TM 23 Iron tail, which is useless or unlearnable by all party members*
So I got nothing useful here then. Well at least I got some levels...

Anyway, I think I’ve dragged this chapter on long enough! And like, nothing happened! Yay? Anyway, next time there will be plot! Until then though, audios!

END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Location: Pyrite Town
Pokemon: 6
Pokemon Purified: 7 (Go Time Flute!)
Pokemon Snagged: 31
Retries: 6 (though I was given a good run for my money...)

Pokemon:


Klepto the Umbreon
Level 55 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Hardy – Item: Blackglasses – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Faint Attack
Toxic
Confuse Ray
Snatch

Klepto is still the mixed bag he always is. The confusion and Toxic damage really can help in some battles, and even Snatch comes in hand now and again to prevent opponents from getting boosts. But his attack power is still low when he can attack at all, and opponents still always target his teammates instead of him making his great bulk kind of a moot point. Still, I really do enjoy using him. His battles can just be a little slow sometimes...


Mario the Espeon
Level 54 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Naughty – Item: Twistedspoon – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Psybeam
Return
Reflect
Moonlight
Powerups:
Micro Mushroom
Fire Flower
Racoon Suit
Lives remaining: 3 (+2)

Mario continues to be the driving force behind my team. His attack power is immediate and sufficient for most enemies, and while his bulk isn’t great Reflect does a lot to rectify that. Moonlight hasn’t seen much use yet and likely rarely will, seeing as I rarely need to heal him. I’m noticing that he’s getting a lot more 2HKOs than he used to now as his opponents grow more powerful, but 2HKOs are miles better than most of my party can do so I’m grateful all the same.


Omega the Hariyama
Level 54 – Ability: Thick Fat – Nature: Hasty – Item: Black Belt – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Focus Punch
Brick Break
Vital Throw
Cross Chop

And BOOM Omega is transformed! At the start of this chapter he was just as useless as he ever was, hardly ever actually getting a chance to land an attack. But then he got Brick Break (and to a lesser extent, Focus Punch) and suddenly he became one of the hardest and most reliable hitters on my team, second only to Mario. Brick Break is a good, reliable attack, which is exactly what he needed. Alternating it with Cross Chop usually decimates the opposition, as misses and hax preventing me from attacking now happens a lot less often. He’s also not super slow anymore it seems, as he does go before opponents fairly regularly. Focus Punch and Vital Throw still see use, partially due to Torment but also in niche situations. Vital Throw is a godsend when the opponent boosts evasion (which happens WAY too often btw) and Focus Punch has massive power to muscle through resistant opponents or OHKO a dangerous one, though it requires prediction and luck to use. Overall Omega has improved vastly this chapter, becoming one of my best Pokemon thanks to just two moves. I couldn’t be more pleased with this development!


Voice the Feraligatr
Level 55 – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Rash – Item: Mystic Water – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Rain Dance
Screech
Return
Surf

Voice is somewhat frustrating to use, and really annoying to train thanks to the fact he has to have DR.PROTECT appear at sometime during the battle. Because of that, keeping him caught up to the rest of the team is a chore. I’m also starting to get annoyed by his restrictions again, particularly having to wait for him to get hit by something before attacking. It seems like it usually goes one of two ways; he sits there while his teammate gets slaughtered or he gets crippled by a status move or super effective attack before he can do anything. Finally, the reward of being able to attack with him isn’t as awesome as it used to be, with his overall attack power dropping. Return is a nice addition, even if it does take a liberal interpretation of his restrictions to accept. It certainly is more useful than Slash was, allowing him to take on Grass and Water Types to a degree. He really is starting to fall from grace again though, especially with Omega suddenly springing up in usefulness.


DR.PROTECT the Magcargo
Level 55 – Ability: Flame Body – Nature: Relaxed – Item: Quick Claw – Purified? Yes – Gender: Female
Moves:
Light Screen
Yawn
Reflect
Flamethrower

God having two 4x weaknesses to two of the most common attacking types is a pain. DR.PROTECT is still getting KO’d far more than any of her teammates, and I see little to show that trend will change. Still, I am starting to see some virtue in her. I’ve come to rely on the screens she puts up, and have taken to kind of using her as a suicide lead in this chapter due to the healing after every round. Of course that won’t work later and you can bet it’ll annoy me more later on... at least when she does get going she’s alright. Basically, as long as nothing has a water or ground type attack, she’s cool. Unfortunately, that never seems to happen. Oh well, them’s the breaks.


Fluffy the Altaria
Level 55– Ability: Natural Cure – Nature: Timid – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Female
Moves:
Dragon Breath
Sing
Refresh
Fly

Ah Fluffy, you just never seem to change. She’s doing the same as she’s done ever since she first evolved long ago; hitting weakly but reliably while tanking hits and inflicting status. Sing has saved me more than once now, as has Dragonbreath’s high paralysis chance. And while she might not hit really hard, she isn’t a total pushover either and there are times when Fly and Dragonbreath can be used to inflict serious damage. She is starting to fall victim to power creep though, as he attacks tend to do less and less and worse, the opponents keep doing more and more damage to her. What used to seem like amazing bulk now seems a lot less impressive, but we are near the end of the game now so hopefully things won’t get bad for her before we’re done.


Alright, enough dicking around. Time to find out just what Silva has to say about Realgam Tower and get this story on the road! Now, where do I find him? Hmmm probably Duking’s place. First though, I think I’m going get some more items to replace the ones I used in those challenges last chapter.

*Mario and Omega reach level 55 battling the Chaser in front of the elevator, and Omega passes up reversal*
Seriously, why do you have to fight her every time you go into the Under? Oh whatever. Anyway, I passed up Reversal because Omega really isn’t fast enough to make proper use of it, whereas Focus Punch and Vital Throw each have situations where they’re really useful.

*Nope, he’s not at Duking’s*
... Where is he then? Ah whatever, I’m headed to Realgam tower now with or without him. It’s the old construction lot from before so I can just head there on my own.

*Goes there and discovers that what used to be a messy construction lot is now a glamorous plaza with rotating Sudowoodo fountains. Really.*
Wow, they sure can tidy up a place quick... I wonder if these black suited goons here will let me past or not?
*Yup they let me in with no issue. They even say I’m expected...*
Expecting me? That sounds just great. Just. Great. I’m walking into a trap here aren’t I.
*The place seems like a maze with dozens of tunnels. And this is just the ground floor!*
Oooo boy, just what I love. Branching paths.
*The right path leads straight to Dakim, who we battled on Mt. Battle!*
Wait whoa, where did you come from? No I don’t want to battle you again! Dang you!
*Voice and DR.PROTECT lead against his Whiscash and Flygon*
Yeah, DR.PROTECT is NOT staying in. Protect-quake spam is imminent. Go Fluffy!
*Sure enough, Flygon uses EQ as Whiscash uses Protect. Thankfully, that means now I can do some spamming of my own*
It’s raining and it’s poorin’ and soon your Pokemon will be snorin’! Surfs up dude! Also, some Dragonbreath on the side for your Flygon.
*Dragonbreath almost OHKOs his Flygon, so Surf easily finishes it off. Whiscash also loses half its health. Unfortunately, it turns out Whiscash has Ice Beam which takes off half of Fluffy’s health as well*
Shame I can only KO two Pokemon with Voice because otherwise this’d be my entire strategy... ah well. One more Surf and then I’ll have to relegate Voice to a support role. Hopefully his Forretress that just came in isn’t OHKO’d by Surf...
*Not when it uses Protect it isn’t. Whiscash goes down quietly and Claydol comes in to replace him*
Alright, Screeching time for Voice. He’s already got his 2 KOs, but I still want him to earn EXP.
*Next couple turns consist of Voice Screeching at Claydol as Fluffy uses Fly. Claydol also puts up Sunny day for some reason...*
I’m not liking this... time to heal up Voice a little.
*Next turn sees him switch his Claydol out for Houndoom, who is missed by Fluffy, who is then KO’d by Double-Edge from Forretress*
Goddamit. Alright Omega, your turn. Thick Fat should serve you well here...
*Surprise! Houndoom uses Solar Beam on Voice, who barely survives it. Still, he DOES survive it. He doesn’t survive the follow up Double-Edge though*
Oh for the love of... DR.PROTECT, you try. Sunny day is up, might as well use it.
*Yeah, Protect Quake go. Poor DR.PROTECT loses a massive amount of HP and Cross Chop does nothing to Forretress due to the Protect*
... I AM THE STUPID! Ah well... It can’t Protect twice and I should be able to get up a Reflect before DR.PROTECT goes down at least. I’m going to need to do a healing run after this...
*No, it can use it twice. So yeah, DR.PROTECT goes down*
..... Fuck this bullshit. Surely not 3 times in a row right? Go Mario, Reflect up!
*not 3 times in a row, but Cross Chop misses instead*
GAHHHHHHHH! STOP THE HAX.
*A Hyper Potion gets used on Omega so he can take another Psychic from Claydol, while Mario chips away at Claydol with Return.*
Alright, that Claydol can’t take another hit. Then I can smash that motherfucking Forretress to smithereens! God this battle has been annoying.
*He uses a Hyper Potion on his Claydol, allowing it to survive another Return. At least Cross Chop KOs his Forretress this time*
Ok, so just one to go now. Omega should be able to take one more Psychic even though the Light Screen DR.PROTECT put up is gone now... and that Claydol should bite the dust!
*He doesn’t have to take one, because Claydol is KO’d before it can move*
About time! Goddamn that was a rough fight... I’ll be back here in a bit... after I heal...
*he gives me a Green ID Badge for some reason before walking out*
Wait what? Why would you give me what I need to beat this? I... I’m confused.

*I heal up and head through the left path this time, coming face to face with good old Miror B.*
Oh god not you again. Let’s just get this over with...
*DR.PROTECT and Voice lead again for experience*
Let’s hope they do better in this one...
*At least this time there’s none of his music. He leads with a Ludicolo and Loudred*
Oh boy, I hope DR.PROTECT can get up a Light Screen before going down...
*here comes the rain! DR.PROTECT does get up Light Screen though... only to be hit by the Loudred’s Earthquake instead and lose most of his health that way*
WELP DR.PROTECT isn’t staying in any longer. Omega, you go.
*Good thing, because it uses EQ again and Ludicolo uses Dive. Voice still hasn’t been hit by STAB though, and just keeps Screeching at his opponents*
*sigh* Just hit him with something that lets me attack already. Please?
*His Loudred falls easily to Omega and is replaced with a Golduck while Omega takes a pittance from Dive*
Alright, this shouldn’t be too hard now... Omega will rip through his team like it’s made of tissue paper.
*He withdraws his first Ludicolo, who is has been heavily affected by Screech. Instead, his Golduck gets hammered by a Screech followed by a Cross Chop and falls instantly*
Yeah, keep switching out your Screeched mons. Every turn you spend switching is another you don’t spend attacking.
*The new Ludicolo is targeted first since I expect the other one to Dive. The new Ludicolo is easily dispatched, revealing Miror B’s final Pokemon to be an Armaldo. In the rain. His Ludicolo also uses Leech Seed on Voice*
FINALLY he can attack! Alright, Surf + Cross Chop = GG.
*Armaldo is obviously OHKO’d by Surf, as is his Ludicolo by Cross Chop*
Well that was about 20x easier than Dakim was. Yay for Omega!
*And for no reason Miror B. give me the Red ID Badge*
... You guys WANT me to win don’t you?

*Everyone is healed up with Fresh Water and I take the center path now*
Alright, let me guess... Venus? Ein? The pattern is getting quite apparent now...
*NOPE. Healing spot and PC!*
... I just wasted a half dozen Fresh Waters didn’t I. What’s this old man doing here?
*Yeah, it’s a Cipher Peon in disguise. Thankfully his Pokemon are hilariously underleveled*
Alright whatever. Let’s continue on through this damned place.
*It leads to a crossroads with 2 doors guarded by two Cipher Peons*
Well these two probably aren’t going to be much threat... btw, from now on I’m not mentioning any Shadow Pokemon that appear because I’m not catching them and they’re going to just be destroyed like anything else now.
*I chose the one on the right, whose Ice type Pokemon are utterly slaughtered by Omega*
Alright, who’s down this hallway then?
*Actually, it first leads to a room with a door with some complex locking mechanism*
Ah, so that’s what these ID badges are for. Anyway, let’s keep moving...
*This direction leads to Ein*
Alright, let’s get this done with.

*I lead with DR.PROTECT and Omega, he leads with Starmie and Rhydon*
Ok, not liking these match ups. Let’s try switching to Fluffy and Klepto instead.
*As they switch in, Fluffy is hit by Hydro Pump while Rhydon digs a hole, no doubt targeting Fluffy who is in the spot DR.PROTECT was in*
Yeah, I didn’t pick Fluffy for no reason here ;). Alright, obligatory Snatch for Klepto and Fluffy can use Dragonbreath on Starmie.
*Starmie throws up Rain Dance before it gets hit lightly by Dragonbreath. As predicted, Rhydon was pointlessly targeting Fluffy*
Ok then, With that rain up I know who’s the biggest threat here. Then again, Rock Slide would destroy Fluffy... Ok, focusing on Rhydon!
*It uses Protect. Fuck. Hydro Pump does about 1/3 to Klepto*
... Damn it. Ok, try again now.
*Hydro Pump misses this time thankfully, though Rhydon surpises me by Toxicing Fluffy*
Looks like Refresh might actually come in handy for a change...
*Rhydon hits itself in Confusion, but Kelpto is hit by another Hydro Pump and is now in KO range*
Alright, Lemonade time. Fluffy, that Starmie is annoying... take it out please?
*Unfortunately Rhydon is healed with a Hyper Potion and Hydro Pump hits again. At least the rain stops and Starmie is in KO range*
This is... taking.... so long... DIE BITCHES!
*Both of them hit themselves in confusion, and finally Starmie bites the dust*
Alright! Next up is his Manectric. Seeing as his Rhydon continues to be harmless, it’ll be my target.
*Good thing too, since Rhydon uses Protect. Fluffy is hit by Toxic again from the Manectric, which is laughable for many reasons*
Yeah that’s right, Toxic the one with Natural Cure AND Refresh. Makes perfect sense. I think it’s safe to bring Mario in now in place of Fluffy. I need the extra firepower and switching will cure that poison.
*The switch is timely as Rhydon finally uses Rock Slide and snaps out of Confusion. Thankfully it misses Kelpto and Mario is hardly scratched. Manectric even hurts itself*
Wow Ein, I expected better from you. This is easy as hell.
*Manectric is KO’d and replaced by a Crobat, while Rhydon uses Toxic again, this time on Mario*
Yeah, this isn’t going to last long enough for that Toxic to be a factor. Also, thanks to Synchronize, you just Toxic’d yourself too.
*Crobat is OHKO’d by Mario as his Rhydon wastes another turn with Protect. His Pelipper is confused as it switches in to replace his Crobat to boot*
This is just sad man. Stall does not work in double battles! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE TRYING IT WITH RHYDON, MANECTRIC AND CROBAT.
*Pelipper hangs on after taking a Psybeam from Mario with a sliver of health, but is Toxic poisoned by Klepto so it doesn’t matter. It uses Rain Dance, probably to repeat Starmie’s strategy but never gets to pull it off. Rhydon continues to be useless*
Geeze, I can’t believe I considered that Rhydon a threat at the start of this...
*The Rhydon hits itself once more before being obliterated by Psybeam. Even if it had gotten up Protect, Toxic would’ve claimed it.*
Well you would’ve lost no matter what there, but using Protect on a Pokemon that’s going to die from status that turn isn’t usually a good idea...
*Anyway, I get the Yellow ID Badge*
Yeah I’m just rolling with it now.

*As I step away to leave I get a message:*
“Eagun of Agate Village: Dear Jimera, This is Eagun of Agate Village. I just wanted to let you know this is my first electronic mail. I am not familiar with high-tech things, so I have only learned how to type in words. Incidentally, if you are ever in” (he goes over the character limit here and is cut off).
Wow, nice one there pops. Anyway, I guess I should stop by and see what he has to say... I’m in no rush to battle Venus honestly...
*goes back to talk to him, and he gives me the Master Ball!*
Oh yeah! I’ll use this alright... so I can end a battle faster than I normally would. Mwuahahahaha! It’s like an OHKO move that never misses!

*I head back to Realgam tower and take on the Cipher Peon that’s guarding the way to Venus*
Yeah, this little girl isn’t going to stand a chance.
*All three of her Pokemon are OHKO’d.*
Yup. Alright, Venus is next.

*I face her with Mario and Omega leading, as she leads with a Misdrevious and a Raichu*
Alright, that Misdrevious has got to go. Of course, Omega has to target the Raichu though... here’s hoping Mario doesn’t get OHKO’d.
*Not this time. Instead, they paralyze and confuse Omega. They pay dearly though, as Misdrevious is brought to the red and Raichu is OHKO’d. Wigglytuff comes out to replace the Raichu*
Well assuming Omega actually gets an attack off, Wigglytuff is dead, and without a doubt Misdrevious is going down. Parafusion appears to be the order of the day here... lovely.
*Well Misdrevious is not going down, as it is fully healed with a Hyper Potion. The Wigglytuff uses attract on Omega and he hits himself in confusion. So yeah, I was wrong.*
Good lord, Omega has something like a 10% chance of actually hitting now. I think I’ll switch him out for Klepto temporarily... anyway, that Misdrevious is REALLY dead now. Venus was just delaying the inevitable.
*A Bellossom comes out replace the Misdrevious after it is KO’d, and Kelpto is hit by a critical paralyzing Body Slam. Of course Synchronize ensures it affects the Wigglytuff too.*
Ok, now I’ll switch back while Mario tries to beat this Bellossom before it can get troublesome. It’s probably going to spam Stun Spore...
*Nope, it uses Attract on Mario after taking a heavy hit from Psybeam. Omega gets in for free as Wigglytuff is fully paralyzed.*
Alright, that Wigglytuff is going down, and so is that Bellossom!
*Yeah Mario gets immobilized by love and fails to take out the Bellossom, which attracts Omega. But at least Omega manages to OHKO that Wigglytuff*
Alright, just one left... it can’t do that much to these two by itself so I think I have this one in the bag. Easy as pie!
*Oh wait, A Milotic comes on out as well, giving my heavy hitters one more target*
Oh boy, this could get annoying... First things first, let’s undo this attraction by eliminating this Bellossom.
*Mario hits it through the attraction, KOing it before it can be any more annoying. The Milotic takes over the role though decides to Confuse Omega, who immediately smacks himself in the face.*
Grrrrr. KILL IT!
*Milotic decides to concentrate on Omega some more, using Attract on him. He, of course, hits himself in confusion again. However, Return does do good damage to it if not quite enough for a 2HKO*
Hmmm let’s see how much Psybeam does in comparison. Also, Omega is switching out for Klepto again. Damn Attraction and Confusion.
*Psybeam does around the same amount of damage, and Milotic finally decides to go on the offensive with Surf, which does pitiful damage to Klepto and Mario*
Psssht that’s the best you can do? Well you left Mario completely uninhibited, so you’re about to go down! Psybeam once more!
*Milotic goes down, bringing Mario, Klepto and Omega all up to level 56 in one go!*
Ok, now that was some epic exp distributing right there if I do say so myself. Anyway, that’s the last Cipher Admin, so after she gives us the Blue ID Card we should be able to advance!

*After a quick heal and save, I unlock that fancy door from before*
Alright, time for shit to get real! Maybe.
*Naw, first another weak Cipher Peon drops from the ceiling and gets trounced by me*
Peon: “Nobody said a word about you being this tough!”
Then you were woefully under informed.

Alright, NOW shit gets real!
*Goes through the door and is interrupted by another email.*
NOW WHAT??!?!?!
*It’s Nett saying he somehow got a partial list of Shadow Pokemon from that wiped disk.*
Yeah I’m pretty sure recovering that data would be impossible in real life. Anyway, this list is useless to me since I’m just murdering all the Shadow Pokemon now. Yay! Thanks for wasting more of my precious time.
*I walk another step forward and am ambushed by a weak Bandana Guy*
Did I say shit was going to get real? I lied.
Anyway, this seems to be the main area and it’s crawling with (weak) trainers. How they all got here when the door is locked, I don’t know but whatever I’ll roll with it.
Oh, and they all want to battle me. Whatever.
*A Bodybuilder suddenly bursts out of a door as soon as I try to walk through it, nearly giving me a heart attack. Of course he battles me.*
ACK! Not cool! That was cheap. Whatever, at least I get to smash your Pokemon up.
*After all the trainers in the main room are down it looks like there’s more to explore in here*
Jeeze, I thought I was done after the Cipher Admins... it looks like I got a ways to go.

*Enters one of the doors into what appears to be a Pokemart*
Well I’m sure the trainers in here want to battle too, but hey, items!
*I talk to the clerk, who asks me if I remember him from Phenac City*
Hey yah, wasn’t there that guy there who wanted to run his own..
*Nope, Blunno, the guy I snagged Voice from*
Oh. Nevermind.
*One failed attempt at revenge later*
Alright, moving on.

*now I check out the room on the right, and it’s another dead end with a single female Rider in it*
Hmmm I guess after this all that’s left is to talk to that suited dude in front of the elevator. I must be getting close now...
*Approaches the suited man and then...*
Man: “Sssh. Jimera, it’s me, Silva. I snuck in here under disguise. I surprised you huh?”
Holy crap yes. I had no idea you were anywhere near competent enough to pull something like that off.
“That’s not important, though. The word is that Cipher’s boss is waiting for the both of you at the top of the tower. And, he’s supposed to have the ultimate Shadow Pokemon! Jimera, Rui! Good luck, and please be careful always!”
And then he lets us upstairs. By stepping out of the way. That’s what he came in disguise for. Wow. I take back what I said about your competency.

So we step off the elevator and are confronted by Not-Sephiroth, who tells us he was waiting for us... before going upstairs and forcing us to give chase. Great. More chasing. Screw that, I’m exploring around here further first.
*The room on the left has a healing machine and PC*
Sweet, this’ll come in handy. Just got to cream this Chaser in my way and then I can come here to heal instead of backtracking all the way to the start of the maze area.

Anyway, after that I go up to the elevator where Nascour went up and find the elevator is gone. So I go to the next one, which is also gone, until suddenly down comes a guy! He’s the leader of Team Snaggem, much to Rui’s surprise and me not giving a shit. Oh, and his name is Gonzap. For real.

*He leads with a Shiftry and Crawdaunt, While I lead with Fluffy and Klepto*
Alright this shouldn’t be too hard. Might take a while though...
*I have Fluffy Fly up, dodging both of their attacks while Klepto uses his obligatory Snatch*
Alright, next up, confusion!
*Fluffy’s Fly does heavy damage to the opposing Shiftry. Fluffy then tanks a Shadow Ball from the Shiftry while the Crawdaunt hits itself in confusion*
The annoying bit is that Fluffy’s Sp.Def dropped... hopefully it won’t be an issue. Anyway, that Shiftry is doomed now.
*Shiftry is KO’d and Fluffy is hit by Sludge Bomb from the Crawdaunt, which poisons her. Klepto Confuses the Hariytama that comes in to replace Shiftry*
Alright, I think I’m going to use a full restore on Fluffy to keep her healthy while I switch Klepto out for Mario.
*The Hariyama hits itself in confusion but the Crawdaunt gets another Sludge Bomb in on Fluffy*
No poison this time though so that’s ok. Mario should be able to OHKO that Hariyama and Fluffy should be able to at least dent that Crawdaunt with Dragonbreath. It’s not like it has a lot of Special Defense after all.
*Sure enough Hariyama is OHKO’d and Crawdaunt takes around half damage from Dragonbreath. However it snaps out of Confusion and hits Mario hard with Sludge Bomb again (why Sludge Bomb?), while a Pinsir comes in to replace the Hariyama*
I hope that Pinsir doesn’t have any Bug-type attacks... it really shouldn’t though, given that this is Generation III. So anyway, that Crawdaunt needs to go now.
*Pinsir is almost OHKO’d by Psybeam and confused to boot, while Fluffy finishes off the Crawdaunt, who is replaced by a Shadow Skarmory. Thankfully, the Pinsir only uses Cut to attack Mario, doing little damage*
Alright, this Skarmory isn’t going to go down quickly so I’ll have to put a reflect up before I do anything else. Fluffy can easily finish that Pinsir off anyway.
*The Pinsir is indeed finished off, and the Reflect turns out to be a good investment as it allows Mario to easily take the Skarmory’s Steel Wing*
Good now, this was a nice easy fight. It really shouldn’t take too much to finish it now... That Skarmory is only level 47. Still, better heal up Mario before continuing.
*Dragonbreath only nicks Skarmory, but the Morning Sun healed up Mario nicely*
Ok, now to just pound away! It won’t last forever!
*It sure won’t when Psybeam is a 2HKO. It survives the assault with a sliver of health left though*
Hmmm so tempting to try and catch it... no reason not to... sure why not? Just for the irony of snagging from Team Snagem.
*A few balls and a sleeping Skarmory later*
Oh wait I wasn’t supposed to use Fluffy against this thing. Oh well, too late. Caught it. *shrug* if Fluffy goes crazy I’ll know why.

He offers for me to join him afterwards too... damn fool. You just want your Skarmory back I bet! You think that if we get all buddy-buddy I’ll just hand it back to you right? WELL NOOOOO WAY!

Anyway, I know what happens next and I know that it needs an update all its own. Essentially, it’s this game’s version of the Elite Four. As such, we’ll take on that challenge next time! Until then, audios!

END OF CHAPTER SUMMARY:

Location: Pyrite Town
Pokemon: 6
Pokemon Purified: 7
Pokemon Snagged: 31
Retries: 6 (Dakim wanted it to go up, but I was like NUH-UH!)

Pokemon:


Klepto the Umbreon
Level 57 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Hardy – Item: Blackglasses – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Faint Attack
Toxic
Confuse Ray
Snatch

I don’t think Klepto got off a single Faint attack this chapter, but that doesn’t really matter since confusing and Poisoning is what he does best. Given how many of my Pokemon can’t attack very often, that Confusion in particular has proven extremely important to the success of my team by ensuring the opposition gets to attack exactly as often as I do. He still has the bulk to take whatever is thrown at him too; I can’t remember the last time he fainted but it wasn’t recent. I really do enjoy using him, as weird as using a non-attacking Pokemon can be. And damn, who doesn’t love Umbreon anyway?


Mario the Espeon
Level 56 – Ability: Synchronize – Nature: Naughty – Item: Twistedspoon – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Psybeam
Return
Reflect
Morning Sun
Powerups:
Micro Mushroom
Fire Flower
Racoon Suit
Lives remaining: 3 (+2)

Mario just keeps on trucking. In this chapter he showed that he isn’t as frail as I made him out to be either, and he just keeps on carrying my team along. Generally if he’s in a match, the match is likely to be pretty easy because he’ll obliterate everything in sight. Really his only issues are super effective attacks and Steel types that resist both his attacks. Thankfully, Reflect (which is amazing for team support as well) and Moonlight help with the attacks he has to take and his teammates can usually cover the rest. Mario always seems to be the star of the show in any game he’s in, and this scramble is no exception.


Omega the Hariyama
Level 57 – Ability: Thick Fat – Nature: Hasty – Item: Black Belt – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Focus Punch
Brick Break
Vital Throw
Cross Chop

I’m still stunned by how useful Omega has become all of a sudden. I can remember when I called him a “useless sack of a shit” back in the second chapter, and now out of nowhere he has become the second best member of my team (after Mario). His bulk is impressive, and seems to have actually gotten better, though this is likely just perception due to the fact he’s not a sitting duck 80% of the time anymore. Instead, he hits incredibly hard all the time, almost always OHKOing opponents that don’t resist his attacks and 2HKOing those that do most of the time as well. His only real downfall is that other than Brick Break his attacks aren’t perfectly reliable. His speed isn’t actually half bad anymore, but it can be an issue when the opponents are faster and carry status moves or super effective attacks, but he usually pulls through anyhow. I am starting to remember why my last Hariyama was my MVP back in Sapphire.


Voice the Feraligatr
Level 57 – Ability: Torrent – Nature: Rash – Item: Mystic Water – Purified? Yes – Gender: Male
Moves:
Rain Dance
Screech
Return
Surf

Ok Voice, I know this isn’t exactly your fault but all of a sudden you seem a lot more useless than you used to. The issue really isn’t you, it’s the fact that it seems like no one ever aims STAB attacks at you anymore. Part of this is because it seems like more opponents are using strategies that don’t involve STAB these days, and part of it is because your partner DR.PROTECT is a much more tempting target. Really, that’s the core of the problem; when you do get to attack you’re plenty competent, if not outstanding, but you spend most of the battle screeching half the time because DR.PROTECT is sitting there absorbing all the hits. Still, I do need to be fair. You have been a good Pokemon to me most of the time, and when you DO get to use Surf it is devastating. Which brings me to another gripe; the 2 KO limit you have. It’s really annoying because when I finally do get a chance to use you, I can’t use you for very long. You generally get those two KOs within 2 turns of attacking and then bam, I either have to switch you out or Screech for the rest of the battle. I really do like you, I just wish you weren’t so hard to train... and on such a short timer.


DR.PROTECT the Magcargo
Level 57 – Ability: Flame Body – Nature: Relaxed – Item: Quick Claw – Purified? Yes – Gender: Female
Moves:
Light Screen
Yawn
Reflect
Flamethrower

You. You are a pain in my ass. Having to set up those screens all the time, practically being required to be used alongside Voice all the time so he doesn’t fall way behind in level. I really fucked up making you two partners. And then you get KO’d by every stray Water attack aimed at you and don’t fair much better against STAB Ground attacks. Still, to be fair, those screens can be mighty useful. I just wish I got to choose when they go up. And when you do get them up your Flamethrower is nice and reliable, and Flame Body burns are always a nice bonus. But still, what the hell girl. Oh, I also wish I had given you Rock Slide, as there have been several times when I’ve wished for a Rock type STAB for you. Your attack isn’t as bad as I thought it was upon review. Alas, you are stuck with Yawn, which, while somewhat useful, has lost a lot of its importance since I decided to just kill the Shadow Pokemon I encounter. Ah well, at least you can attack sometimes when Voice can’t.


Fluffy the Altaria
Level 56 – Ability: Natural Cure – Nature: Timid – Item: None – Purified? Yes – Gender: Female
Moves:
Dragon Breath
Sing
Refresh
Fly

Fluffy just keeps on being reliable. Sure her bulk is only slightly above average and she seems to faint way more than I expected, but it’s usually due to a surprise ice attack or me just being an idiot and forgetting her physical defense isn’t as high as her special is. She’s my second fastest Pokemon, so her quick Dragon Breath can be really useful at times. Similarly, Fly frequently gives me an advantage against Grass and Fighting foes, which is much appreciated. Sing is always nice too when I need an opponent taken out of commission but I can’t KO it. It’s a shame I keep forgetting her restrictions about not fighting Dark and Shadow Pokemon though... I fear she’s going to relapse if I keep forgetting like this.

On Chapter 7, it should say Morning Sun instead of Moonlight on Mario the Espeon. Besides, you can get those snags (and hence the purification ceremonies) in the post game anyway, including the Ariados you missed.