Challenge The Scramble Challenge - Mark 2

[StallMandibuzz]

Hmm, I'll get the next person with a sadistic Challange, I wanna see CD have fun with EvilRandom and friends. :p I'm feeling lenient, so I doubt I'd be able to make an extremely difficult Challange for CD. I still think I must be crazy for wanting to do an insanely difficult Platinum version Scramble from this thread. Not taking reservations yet though. :3

 

[Treadshot A1]

You couldn't be more sadistic than Asuka anyways. I mean, soling Bertha with Struggle from a Flying type? I'm surprised CD just took it without any whining at all. I mean, i'm all for people taking whatever they're given, but even i would've chickened out of that one...

 

[King Serperior]

You couldn't be more sadistic than Asuka anyways. I mean, soling Bertha with Struggle from a Flying type? I'm surprised CD just took it without any whining at all. I mean, i'm all for people taking whatever they're given, but even i would've chickened out of that one...

Come to think of it...........I have NEVER seen you ever take a challenge before.....

Suspisious >_>

 

[StallMandibuzz]

@Treadshot: Well, he did ask for an extremely difficult Challange, right? Well, Asuka is that extremely difficult Challange. Even at my most sadistic, I doubt any of my Challanges come close to how horribly sadistic most of yours are. O,o

 

[Tetrinity]

Some of these are becoming far more sadistic than the ones I got for my own scramble :p I do like how this thread is devolving into an arms race of difficulty, ten pages away from the next awards ceremony (if it's running; I hope so, because I've never had the chance to participate in one before).

Also, reserving Mygavolt's Weavile.

Edit: Mygavolt, take a Sneasel called Cinco.

Cinco loves Cinco de Mayo so much, he named himself after the momentous occasion. He is obsessed with the number five to the extent that it affects his daily life.

1. Cinco may only use a move if at least one of its power, accuracy or max PP ends in 5. So for some examples, Scratch (35PP), Toxic (85% acc) and Ice Beam (95BP) are legal, but Faint Attack (60BP, --% acc, 20PP) and Ice Shard (40BP, 100% acc, 30PP) are not.
2. Cinco must learn and keep the ultimate Five move - Icy Wind. 55BP, 95% acc, 15PP - what more could a pentaphiliac want?
3. Cinco may only evolve at a level that ends in 5.
4. As a Sneasel, all of Cinco's base stats end in 5, excellent stuff! Weavile makes an attempt at upholding the tradition with three base stats ending in 5, but it's not quite the same. After evolving into Weavile, Cinco suffers from permanent Torment over the irreparable loss of his perfect fives.
5. You may only use an item on Cinco if the amount you have in stock ends in 5. TMs and HMs are exempt from this. This restriction does not apply if Cinco's level ends in 5.


Good luck, have five... er, fun.

 

[Treadshot A1]

I've taken two, the first of which was way back in the early days of the first Scramble thread, where i beat the E4 with no grinding by Double Team spamming with my Staraptor. The second i accepted by never finished. I believe i have asked for others, as i had one on a plane trip, but i fell asleep on the plane instead of playing.

That said, as soon as BW2 come out, i will be scrambling my way through one of them. I only stopped scrambling because my carts can't be backed up and i lost my flashcart where i do my scrambles. I'm still planning a way to scramble those while allowing people to get their revenge on me on that scramble. I'm just wondering exactly what rules there will be. I'm thinking maybe a scramble where the theme is "Try to be meaner than Treadshot" or something like that, maybe something a bit easier. Not sure yet. Depends on what BW2 is exactly.

Of course, i still try to contribute to the community by allowing everyone to keep their creativity by posting sadistic challenges.

 

[King Serperior]

I've taken two, the first of which was way back in the early days of the first Scramble thread, where i beat the E4 with no grinding by Double Team spamming with my Staraptor. The second i accepted by never finished. I believe i have asked for others, as i had one on a plane trip, but i fell asleep on the plane instead of playing.

That said, as soon as BW2 come out, i will be scrambling my way through one of them. I only stopped scrambling because my carts can't be backed up and i lost my flashcart where i do my scrambles.

Of course, i still try to contribute to the community by allowing everyone to keep their creativity by posting sadistic challenges.

Cool, I'll be looking up that staraptor one.

I will beat BW2 before I scramble it though

 

[Treadshot A1]

Same, i'll be trashing BW2 with a Serperior (used Samurott and don't like Emboar) before scrambling.

 

[Mygavolt]

Myga: Eh, i know a friend who's borderline (well, they say borderline, but the jury's out on that one) autistic, so i won't punish you too much for it (that, and i'm not the most sociable person either, which is why i've given many people embarrassing challenges). Just do the challenge as before, but restrictions 1 and 4 are only active when there are NO OTHER PEOPLE within earshot of you, and you may choose to watch the sitcom of your choice in restriction 4 in small sections if you can't find the time to watch an entire episode alone.

Oh, and at least i didn't make you solo an E4 member with Struggle, so don't be too worried. There's a lot worse than Cryst in life, bro. ;)

Okay, thanks. Now it's accepted.

 

[StallMandibuzz]

I'll probably be using a Serperior in my first BW2 run as well, then once I'm done with all of my Scramble projects, I'll take a BW2 Scramble. I still think I must be nuts to do an insanely difficult Platinum, since I'm seeing more and more sadistic, horrible Challanges lol.

 

[Treadshot A1]

remind me, did i give you anything Mandibuzz? for your insanely difficult challenge, i mean?

I finally learned what IRC is and have connected to #scramble!




*yes, i'm very late to the party. Shut up.

 

[StallMandibuzz]

@Treadshot: No, I'm not accepting anything yet. I still have my HG Scramble and my Black Scramblocke to play through and prose first. As far as my Scramblocke goes, I'll keep restarting it until I get to the E4, because it's really not worth writing if I get thrashed at Elesa or even Iris/Drayden. If I have to lose, I want to lose to the E4 or N/Ghetsis. Might take a while, because I guarantee that critical hits can and will fuck me over hard. Actually, I might write a story anyways, and only change the major battles if I need to. Depending on how I'm faring, I may end it all at Ghetsis.

 

[shinyskarmory]

Once I beat BW2, I might take a scramble for my Black. But until I can trade all the stuff off of it to somewhere, I kinda have to keep it for battles against IRL friends, trolling, etc. The same is true for my Soulsilver, which I REALLY want to scramble, but I don't have the time to trade all the stuff off of it.

 

[Treadshot A1]

Hey, i just joined the scramble IRC thing...


...now what am i supposed to do? Is it like a chat room or something? Because all i see is a blank bow and space to type random crap...

And i agree with ShinySkarm, the hardest part about scrambling is getting a cart to scramble in the first place.

 

[Tetrinity]

I'm online now. It is a chat room, yes, it's just that there's never very many people in it. We should change that!

 

[Treadshot A1]

I must be doing something wrong, i see me and only me.

EDIT: Nevermind, me sleepy.

 

[The QWAZ]

Only 9 pages till the awards, treadshot and arceustar are very close together in evil-ness. Don't rule everybody else though, feminist the buizel is very evil and my sunkern a few pages back is shocking. (even if i do say so myself)

 

[Showsni]

make him solo the Ground type E4 member (Bertha) with whatever he has left (which is a struggle to say the least). Given he has been such a thorn for the journey, you decide to also make him do it without items (though he may hold onto one item as his held item).

Bertha has five Pokémon. Struggle does 25% recoil damage. Without using items, that means he's required to use Sitrus Berry, and has to have exactly the right HP that he can survive five 25% damage hits, as well as OHKOing every single one of Bertha's Pokémon. He also must be a Rock/Steel/Ground type in order to not die to Hippowdon's sand stream./ And her Pokémon are ridiculously defensive things like Gliscor, Hippowdon, Rhyperior and Golem - OHKOing them with Struggle is going to be really hard, if not entirely impossible.

Actually, I suppose Shell Bell might work. But still, I'm not sure a Gliscor/Aerodactyl/Skarmory can OHKO Rhyperior with Struggle, even at level 100. Someone should work it out.

Maybe he'll have to manipulate the RNG to get crits every time?

Edit: Ran some calcs; even Staraptor at level 100 can't OHKO Bertha's Rhyperior with a critical hit Struggle. I believe this challenge is literally impossible.

 

[Tetrinity]

Pretty sure he changed it so he'll be allowed to use items. Otherwise, I'd agree with you. It's still an insane task even then...

 

[shinyskarmory]

Alright guys, everyone keeps talking about the Scramble Awards, but nobody seems to be hosting or organizing it. Therefore, I'm going to host (with IAR's blessing), unless anyone else wants to do it who I assume would do a better job.

In a second, I'm going to make a thread in the social group (which everyone who does Scrambles should be in IMO) to hold nominations. Around page 195 or so, once we have enough nominations, voting will begin. This will be conducted by PM.

Thanks, and remember to check the social group!

Oh yeah, and Ruby will update sometime later tonight as well.

EDIT 1: Nominations Thread is up, go over there and post your favorites! We don't have much time to get this done.

 

[StallMandibuzz]

I reiterate what I've said like five times before. I must be frigging crazy to want to take an insanely difficult Platinum Challange from you sadists. :L O_O I'm expecting like 100+ retries on my run, lmao. Still not accepting reservations. :3 I'm actually really anticipating what horrible things you all have waiting for me in the future. >_> It'll make some fun writing for sure! Might actually try to write in the shoes of another person this time instead of in first person like I'm so used to doing.

 

[Mygavolt]

Platinum 5th Day 5th Month Scramble

This will be the official post for by 5th Day 5th Month Scramble.

Rules can be found here.

My assigned Scramblemons are as follows:

Treadshot A1's Cryst the Monferno

Myga, take Cryst the Monferno. This Monferno cannot believe it's sheer bad luck, and really wants to smash his head open because of it. You must try to cheer it up with these fun yet annoying restrictions.

• Every time he is switched in, or uses a move, you must shout (out loud, for real) a cheerful slogan or chant (preferably as imappropriate for the situation as possible, just try not to offend people around you).
• Make one of your pokemon use Struggle to beat another pokemon (wild or otherwise). This shows Cryst that maybe beating an entire E4 team with Struggle won't be too hard (Cryst doesn't have to do that, i'm just referencing the Asuka challenge here).
• Make a bonfire with 15 items at once (i.e. throw out 15 items at some point in the game).
• Watch a comedy/sitcom and play the game, and you must laugh as loud as you can to every joke in the show (no matter how lame). There must be at least 2 other people in the same room as you who are not deaf (not trying to discriminate, it's just more embarrassing for Myga this way).
• Use one of your pokemon to win 3 or more contests (at any difficulty level, but with only ONE pokemon for all of them).

Yeah, i used up my evilness on the Asuka challenge.

The QWAZ's Sad the Scyther

Myga, take =( the scyther (or sad if you prefer)
=( is very upset that nobody loves him and they are always pressuring him to evolve in to a scizor so he can be "top tier OU material" he hates them now.
1.Have a special move, that should shut the haters up
2. learn swords dance ASAP.
3. use it at the start of very battle.
4. Solo the 7th and 8th gym, he doesn't need to be neutral to bolt-beam to be successful
5. land the final blow on cynthia's garchomp, to prove it can even beat ubers.

nice and easy, have fun

5.

Tetrinity's Cinco the Sneasel/Weavile

Mygavolt, take a Sneasel called Cinco.

Cinco loves Cinco de Mayo so much, he named himself after the momentous occasion. He is obsessed with the number five to the extent that it affects his daily life.

1. Cinco may only use a move if at least one of its power, accuracy or max PP ends in 5. So for some examples, Scratch (35PP), Toxic (85% acc) and Ice Beam (95BP) are legal, but Faint Attack (60BP, --% acc, 20PP) and Ice Shard (40BP, 100% acc, 30PP) are not.
2. Cinco must learn and keep the ultimate Five move - Icy Wind. 55BP, 95% acc, 15PP - what more could a pentaphiliac want?
3. Cinco may only evolve at a level that ends in 5.
4. As a Sneasel, all of Cinco's base stats end in 5, excellent stuff! Weavile makes an attempt at upholding the tradition with three base stats ending in 5, but it's not quite the same. After evolving into Weavile, Cinco suffers from permanent Torment over the irreparable loss of his perfect fives.
5. You may only use an item on Cinco if the amount you have in stock ends in 5. TMs and HMs are exempt from this. This restriction does not apply if Cinco's level ends in 5.


Good luck, have five... er, fun.

King Serperior's Dice the Togepi

Take Random's younger brother, Dice the Togepi.

Dice is obsessed with gambling, so it likes to take chances. There are 5 chance-based things that he does.

1). Have Serene Grace as an ability.
2). Know Metronome and use it first in all battles.
3). Know Ancientpower.
4). If you can breed, breed Lucky Chant on it. If not, teach it a TM from the Game Corner.
5). Solo 3 Gym trainers to evolve once using only meteronome and 1 GL pokemon to evolve a second time.

luigiowns' AFive the Mr. Mime

mygavolt, Take AFive (ArcanaFive) the Mr.Mime!
This Mime is based around one of my new favourite yu-gi-oh cards, and the tarot sign it represents, the fool.

Your restrictions are:
1. If he is in your party during the first time you enter a new area (basically, a new route or town), you must flip a coin. If tails, Arcana must be put under the effects of safeguard before he battles in that area. If Heads, he is under the effect of embargo

There are 2 things you can do to stop bad luck:
2. Solo 5 Pokemon using moves that are under 100% accuracy to get a "second coin toss", allowing you to flip again if you get heads in a route. (Can collect up to 5 second coin tosses at one time, can only be used once per new area).
and:
Solo 10 Pokemon that has a type super effective against Mr.Mime to get a "reversal of fate", allowing you to reverse the coin toss effect for one route (so heads becomes tails, and vice versa). (Can collect 5 reversals of fate).

Also, the fool cannot be naturally switched from defence to attack mode, so
3. If he deals direct damage to an opponent, he must continue to directly damage said opposing pokemon until either faint.

Finally, the fool is the weakest offensive arcana, but has the strongest effect, therefore
4. He must have at least one attack with a secondary effect. The rest of his attacks must have a BP of 60 or under.

Oh wait. 5 restrictions. OK.
The fool is the symbol of naivety, and as such I have been a bit naive with my restrictions. See, there are a few loopholes you can abuse with the other 4 restrictions. However, us naive types hope you won't abuse them.
5. You are free to abuse any and all the loopholes within the previous 4 restrictions.


If you can't find any restriction loopholes, feel free to ask me for a hint. I may just give them away.

Oh, and before I proceed to the updates, I reread them and found that there are several really obvious and stupid errors. That's because, back in the day, I transcribed the updates from an old Toshiba to my dad's Lenovo, which is something that one would ordinarily do absentmindedly. I can't be bothered to correct them all, so my apologies, but it won't be much of a problem now that I have my own MacBook Pro. My days of transcribing are over!

tl;dr - Sorry for stupid and obvious typos present in Chapters 1-4.

Updates

Chapter 1: A Lesson about Being Impetuous

“Hello there!”​

Are you Doctor Rabbit?

“It's so very nice to meet you!”​

Dangit.

“Welcome to the world of Pokémon!”​

Dude, this isn't my first time here.
(Rowan appears, useless speech ensues)

Rowan: Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?​

No, I think the correct way to ask is, “Are you a guy or a gal?”
(lol Dokapon Kingdom reference)
Seriously, though, I think you'd know just by looking at me...unless you’re, perhaps, myopic? Anyway, I’m a boy, thank you for asking. I’ll call myself Smith, mostly because it has 5 letters.

Rowan: Now, this boy here... I believe he's your friend.​

No, I don't know him, but thanks for introducing him to me.

Rowan: What might his name be?​

Dude, I told you that I don’t know anything about him, let alone his name. Fair enough. If I don’t now and I’m the one you’re asking, then nobody knows. Maybe he doesn’t have a name. I’ll call him Henry.

Rowan: On the way, I’m sure you will discover many things, perhaps even something about yourself.​

Wow, I didn’t know games these days were powerful enough to do that.
(shrinks and is greeted by a message)

“‘Pokémon are by our side, always. I hope you will understand the meaning of those words.’ That was the comment left by Prof. Rowan, who has returned to Sinnoh from the Kanto region.”​

Wait, wait, wait...I’ve already done 2 FireRed scrambles and I haven’t seen him in either of those! When did this happen?
(reads posterior message)
Wait, there’s a program dedicated to asking Rowan? (sigh) TV these days...
(walks a step, only to have Henry interrupt me by running upstairs)
Hey, that was uncalled for!

Henry: Hey, Smith! Did you just see the TV? Sure you did!​

Stalker. Just how long were you down there?
(one ADHD moment later, Henry coaxes me to visit Rowan’s lab without permission and steal his Pokémon)
Sounds like a plan! But first...
(checks the PC in hopes of getting a Potion, but instead gets useless information)
Well, whatever. I was eager to move on anyway. But first...
(goes into Options, sets Text Speed to Fast, sets Button Mode to START=X, sets Frame to Type 9)
Okay, NOW we move on.
(gets greeted and sent off with a superfluous warning by Mom)
Thanks, Mom...as if I didn’t know that. Now, let’s move on to Route...
(gets interrupted by a random guy)

Random Guy: Hiya, Smith. Henry was looking for you.​

Oh, yeah, forgot.
(heads into Henry’s house, only to get bumped prior to entry)
Geez, man, why so impetuous?
(Henry further coaxes me to head over to Rowan’s lab, but in the process realizes that he forgot something)
Okay, I’ll happily raid your house without permission in order to figuratively push the button that sends you straight back out.
(one further invitation later)

Henry: It’s a P10 million fine if you’re late!​

Big talk coming from you. You’re not much better than me; therefore, you should now that that’s WAY too much. In fact, so much so that it can only be afforded in B/W, and even there I don’t think that’s possible. Enough endless ranting; let’s move on.
(heads out and gets greeted by Henry upon entry to Route 201)

Henry: Okay, let’s head over to Rowan’s lab!​

(gets stopped by wild grass)
You know, Henry, there’s a lesson to be learned about being impetuous. Keep your cool every once in a while, man.
(Henry proposes some weird plan about avoiding wild Pokémon without once considering the speed of Starly relative to that of people and attempts to put it into action, but gets stopped by Rowan)
Thank you, Rowan, for saving Henry one trip to the hospital...or worse.
(speech about Rowan giving us Pokémon because of Henry’s being impetuous, but realizes that he misplaced the Pokémon he might or might not have initially had, then Dawn makes her first appearance and brings them over. Now, the decision of Pokémon shall begin.)

Henry: Smith, you choose first.​

Thanks, Henry. Gladly, I will. (grabs a Chimchar)

Henry: Then, I choose you! I’m picking this PIPLUP!​

Figures. You just let me choose first so you could trump me in type efficacy! Ah, well. Monferno has super-effective STAB on Empoleon, anyway.

Henry: How do you like that? Prof. Rowan’s really nice.​

How would you expect one of the first people you meet in a child-friendly video game to be anything less?

Henry: On TV, he seems so stern and scary.​

Oh.

Henry: Smith! I challenge you to a battle!​

Why so suddenly? You could’ve let me grind first. Well, whatever. The first battle is always the easiest, right? Oh, yeah, slogan. Even though he’s neither named Cryst nor a Monferno yet, I might as well abide by the restrictions. (sends out a Chimchar) Here comes the bride, here comes the bride!
(side note: neither competitor is female)
(uses Scratch) Sublime Seafoods, tastes like chicken! (uses Scratch again) Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality! (again a Scratch) Hardees: without us, some guys would starve!
(side note: Piplup has used Growl on all three of these turns)
(fourth Scratch) S’mores, s’mores, s’mores, raise your hand if you like s’mores! (fifth Scratch) And that’s why I like to scroll with scroll buttons! (sixth Scratch) Burger King: have it your way! (seventh Scratch) Verizon Wireless: it’s the network! (eighth Scratch) Michelin: because so much is riding on your tires! (ninth Scratch) I don’t now, but I’ve been told, some of these slogans are pretty old! (tenth Scratch) Money for nothing and your chicks for free! (eleventh and final Scratch) What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!
(side note: Chimchar was left with 3 HP after the battle. Phew...)
That’s it. I’m omitting my slogans and chants from now on.
(gets prompted back home for imaginary dinner (no, not “holographic meatloaf” type of imaginary)

Mom: I wouldn’t like to think what the wild Pokémon might have done to you two.​

Oh, I can imagine it already. Lots of beak and buck-tooth bruises are what I’m imagining.
(is asked to properly thank Rowan and receives Running Shoes)
Oh, I’d be happy to oblige with an incentive like that.
(while returning to Route 201, gets greeted by Henry again)

Henry: I’m going to go see Prof. Rowan, so I can thank him properly.​

What a coincidence! That’s exactly what I was ready to do!

Henry: You and me together! We have nothing to fear!​

Okay, I’m not willing to go that far. What, are you trying to create a yaoi? Anyway, let’s move on. Oh, wait, I forgot you wanted to visit the lake. (sighs) Okay, if you say so.
(sees Cyrus there, babbling about his plans to control everything)
Okay, so why did you bring us to the lake, Henry?
(hears Mesprit cry)
Ah, I see. Got any Pokéballs on you?

Henry: We don’t have anything on us!​

(sigh) You’re useless. Guess your little yaoi fantasy is crushed, huh?

Henry: You now, Poké Balls! P-O-K-accent-E Balls!​

We French speakers prefer to call it “accent aigu,” but okay.

Henry: ...Do you think Prof. Rowan’d give us some if we asked him?​

...Do you think a store owner would give one of his video games to a customer who was in debt? Seriously, get real. Oh, wait. Rowan said that we could visit his lab if we needed anything. Sorry; I wasn’t paying attention. Seriously, though, why would anyone do that?
(moving through Route 201, I encounter Bidoof and another slew of slogans and chants ensues)
This is pretty fun, actually, though the thinking is really a pain.
(gets a free Potion)
Well, at least that compensates for the PC of mine that didn’t give one.
(last grass tile contains a Starly. More slogans and chants, but Chimchar learned Ember, so it was worth it)
Sweet! No more Scratch! Or maybe...(looks at Magikarp and Psyduck)
(Upon arriving to Sandgem Town, Dawn shows me to Rowan’s lab, out of which Henry does his signature impetuous burst)
Dude...lesson about being impetuous. Cool your jeans.

Dawn: Your friend sure seems to be really impatient.​

My point exactly. Plus, he’s not my friend. We’ve only just met. Seriously, is everyone here trying to create a yaoi between us? Look, I’d prefer to be straight, thank you.
(Rowan finally lets me nickname Chimchar)
About time. Okay, let’s name it Cryst.
(insert speech about the Professor, the Pokédex, and Dawn here)
Okay, now I’m free to go.
(gets stopped by Rowan and his ultimate cry that, height-wise, takes up the entire text box and, noise-wise, startles both me and Dawn)
Oh, crap. What now?

Rowan: I have something good here. You should take this as well. (gives TM27 Return)​

Geez, tell me that earlier, old man. No need for that vociferous cry, either. You could’ve just tapped me on the shoulder or something of that nature.
(after a few more text boxes, Dawn tells me no more than I had already known about Sandgem Town)
Now that that’s over with and I’m free to go (for real this time!), I might as well trade the necessary Pokémon from SoulSilver, and those Pokémon are: Cinco the Sneasel and AFive the Mr. Mime! I did some research, and those two can’t be obtained before Wake (barring the Trophy Garden, which, even then, is only the case with the latter). I’ll transfer them as Eggs since I don’t want them to ignore orders past level 10. I had that problem with Slowpoke in my Pearl Scramblocke.

(9 Potions, two Pokéballs, one Journal, one Parcel, several slogans, more chants, two Pokémon captures, two Pokémon killings, two hatchings, two nicknamings, and one Lucky Star episode later...)
Okay, since I don’t have a coin, I’ll use an Attack die from Heroscape instead. I mean, it still has a 50-50 chance of each outcome. (For those of you who don’t know, it has three sides with skulls and three blank sides; the former will be considered heads and the latter tails.) All right, let’s roll (bad pun).
(gets tails)
Now AFive can’t battle due to my lack of Safeguard. I guess I’ll have to grind Cinco instead... Ouch, Bidoof’s Tackle is a 2HKO. Okay...switch training no jutsu!
(a few slogans and Embers later...)
Now off to the Pokémon Center.
(surprisingly, doesn’t encounter anything while going there)
Ah, how lucky I am. All right, back to Route 201. The rest of the grinding will be omitted for the sake of the viewers (if any). On that note, I will also omit everything from Route 202 to Jubilife...except that I rolled a tails for the former.

(meets Dawn upon entry in Jubilife)

Dawn: Hi, Smith! Are you catching Pokémon?​

Nope; I’ve already caught them.

Dawn: Don’t you think it’s better to know about Pokémon?​

Not really. Sometimes, the less you know, the better. The insatiable thirst for knowledge tends to get a hold of somebody’s life and consume it...or so I’ve experienced.

Looker: How did you unmask me as a member of the International Police?!​

Nobody did...and you just clumsily gave away your profile in public. Since you did so, might as well tell us your name.
(notices he’s first labeled as a Mysterious man and then as a Shady man)
How suspicious. Surely, this isn’t a case of Gamefreak’s spacing out or anything. Anyway, aren’t you going to tell us your name?

Looker: Ah, no, I shall inform you only of my code name.​

Well, that’s lame. Yeah, I know it’s Looker because I’ve already played through this game.

Looker: Incidentally, is the saying, “Don’t be a thief!” familiar to you?​

Yeah, I’ve seen it plenty of times...(thinks back to when I tried to get Wallace’s Pokémon to KO heal fodder X after soloer Y was fully healed and used Dive Balls to do so) Also, there’s that one quote in the Hunger Games: “Stealing is punishable by death.” But surely there will be no death in this game...right?
(after Looker slips away, Dawn points me to the Trainer’s School and tells me that Henry is in there)
Cool beans. Now I can get this Parcel off of my hands. But first, I should roll the next die for AFive.
(gets tails)
Aww... Well, I guess Cryst can deal with the Abra in there.

After all, it’s the Trainer’s job to avoid having their precious Pokémon hurt in battle, right?​

See what’s wrong with this sentence? An error that I have detected millions of times in spoken language: pronoun-antecedent agreement. A Trainer is only one person; therefore, it cannot be referred to by the pronoun, “their,” but rather by the pronoun, “his or her.” If “his or her” is too hard to say, why not just say, “his?” Sexist as it is, it’s still grammatically correct. Also remember that “everybody,” “somebody,” and “who” are all singular antecedents. Anyway, moving past my grammar Nazism...
(delivers Parcel)
Great...Town Maps. One for Henry, one for me. Thanks, Henry’s mom whose name will never be disclosed. At least you helped your son figure out where the next gym is (i.e. Oreburgh City). Now, enough jibber-jabber. On to the School Kid fight.
(finds out that the girl doesn’t have an Abra, but a Bidoof)
Something’s changed. This is what happens to men of the past: they tend to turn a blind eye to the future.
(finds out that the boy has a Starly)
On the other hand, I’m actually glad they removed the Abra; one of those jerks killed my Jigglypuff! (sigh) Sorry; I just can’t stop reminding myself of my error-laden Pearl Scramblocke.
(obtains a Potion rather than the usual TM10 Hidden Power)
How lame... Okay, I’m heading out.
(does so and hastily does the Pokétch campaign thing)
I’m just...not going to say anything, not even about how the president needed a Pokétch app to count to three. I guess it’s Gamefreak’s way of showing how the world is so bound to technology these days, but that’s just overkill. That aside, off to Route 204 to do some grinding if possible. Here’s AFive’s next roll:
(finally gets heads)
Thank goodness. Now AFive can actually do something. Nonetheless, this grinding session shall be omitted like the others.

Now, let’s see what AFive thinks of Route 203...
(gets heads)
Nice. Now, let’s get this over with!

Henry: Hey! Smith! Tell me you got a little tougher!​

Tell me you got a little more cognizant of your pronoun-antecedent agreement. Anyway, in the mighty words of Metrosexual Hipster, “Let’s battle!”
(easy AFive sweep)
Well, that was anticlimactic. Really, though, STAB Confusion is a freaking steam roller in the beginning of the game, even from a sub-par Psychic-type like Mr. Mime (no offense).
(gets 1/10 of a reversal of fate due to soloing a Kricketot)
Cool beans. The rest of the route will be omitted.

Rolled heads for Oreburgh Gate, which means AFive can and will be participating in and sweeping the entirety of this cave.

Camper Curtis: We Trainers accept challenges everywhere! It’s what we do!​

So you think walking in front of the face of someone who has been standing there for an eternity is considered a challenge? Well, no matter. On with the sweeping.
(AFive pretty much OHKOs or 2HKOs everything)
Now to roll for Oreburgh. Yes, heads! Now AFive can annihilate Roark if it doesn’t die first!
(notices that Gamefreak removed the word “noob” since its transition from D/P to Platinum)
Why, Gamefreak, why...
(rolls for Oreburgh Mine)
Tails... Well, you can only get lucky so many times in a row, right? I guess it’s up to Cinco and his 15PP Rock Smash.
(unintentionally finds a Heart Scale in that one huge black-capped rock)
Well, that was pretty awesome. Unfortunately, I’ll have to omit the rest of this cave. Sights to do, things to see, you know? Wait...

And now, for the moment for which you all have been waiting (yeah, I just grammatically corrected that commonly used phrase): the gym battle versus Roark!
(buys two Potions, making a grand total of 15, rendering Cinco able to consume one whenever)
Oh, yeah: sorry, Cryst, but you will not be participating in this battle. Maybe you’ll get a more principal role on the route to Gardenia, though.
(AFive sweeps both gym trainers; both she and Cinco are now level 12)
All right...COME AT ME, BRO...ark!

Cinco vs. Geodude
I use 85 acc Screech and 2HKO with Rock Smash

Cinco vs. Onix
I use flat-out Rock Smash for fear of dying early, but Rock Throw misses! I then use a Potion because I realize that that was the reason why I raised my Potion count up to 15. Screech because Rock Smash spam will take forever; Rock Throw finally hits, but isn’t a 2HKO. Unfortunately, Rock Smash isn’t much better. Cinco goes down with a bang that left Onix hanging on a thread.

AFive vs. Onix
Start with Reflect while Roark uses Potion. Now to go offensive with Confusion, which finishes Onix in no time flat.

AFive vs. Cranidos
It didn’t hurt itself in confusion...but Pursuit didn’t do jack crap despite being super-effective with Mold Breaker nullifying Filter. Furthermore, Confusion is a 2HKO sans extra damage.


And thus concludes the tale of the first update of the 5th Day 5th Month Scramble. Until next time!


Current Team

Cryst the male Chimchar (Lv.10)
Rash, Blaze
- Scratch
- Leer
- Ember
- Taunt

The slogan/chant restriction is really a mixed bag for me; it’s pretty fun belting out randomness every now and then, but it actually wears me out attempting to think of a slogan or chant. Throughout this chapter alone, I’ve probably thought up about 50. It’s exhausting, I tell you. Unfortunately, it couldn’t participate against Roark, but it will undoubtedly have a better role in the next chapter.

Cinco the male Sneasel (Lv.12)
Hasty, Keen Eye
- Scratch
- Screech
- Taunt (unusable)
- Rock Smash

As much as Cinco tried to be useful in the battle against Roark, it could only get one and a half KOs against him. Still, though, it has the speed and the power to function well elsewhere. Maybe it, too, will get a more principal role.

AFive the female Mr. Mime (Lv.13)
Rash, Filter
- Confusion
- Encore
- Light Screen
- Reflect

As I mentioned before, STAB Confusion hits like a truck in the primary stages of the game. AFive was nonetheless hampered, if only by its inability to be used due to getting tails in a certain area. Fortunately, that area was not Oreburgh, because otherwise I would have been as lost as a flamingo in Antarctica. Reflect also helped a bunch, seeing how it only caused AFive to take about 1/3 or 1/4 damage from Cranidos’ Pursuit.

Chapter 2: AFive’s Struggle

"I will not screw up this time," I declared as I rebooted the DS. "I will not use words of which I am uncertain." Yeah, I take screw-ups very seriously. VERY seriously. In fact, I can recall errors that I made eight years ago. All I think about are errors; I never reflect upon my success, but only my failures.
Well, enough about my personal life. Time to start chapter 2 of this update saga, where I go and face Gardenia! Don’t expect any new team members this chapter, but Dice will tag along in the beginning of the next one, I promise.
Now, back to Jubilife...
(Henry bumps into me)
Hey, didn’t I tell you moments ago to cool your jeans? Seriously, I thought you’d have learned that by now.
(Henry discloses information I already know and speeds off to Eterna)
You know, given you’re so impetuous, why not do that sort of running earlier? Anyway, moving on, but first...
(goes off to collect some items in B1F of Oreburgh Gate)
TM70 Flash and a Big Pearl... Well, I don’t know about TM70 Flash, but Big Pearl will help out quite a bit...in building Cryst’s bonfire! But, that’s for another time.
(upon arriving to Jubilife, encounters Looker, who tells me to keep an eye out for shady grown-ups)
But...aren’t you a shady grown-up? Eh, never mind.
(pays the Pokétch company president a visit and obtains a Memo Pad app)

President: Well...it is what it is!​

You don’t know what it is, do you?
(goes up to Route 204, only to be interrupted by Galactic Grunts, to whom Rowan gives 4 (5?) lessons about etiquette)

Rowan: #3: If you don’t get your way, don’t raise your voice to be intimidating.​

You know, I could’ve used this advice during my days back in Ontario. In fact, any kid below the age of 8 could use that advice. Anyway...

Rowan: #5: What is with those outlandish outfits you have on?​

You call that a lesson? Anyway, I think they’re asking for a battle, as I was about to say two lessons earlier.
(fights with Dawn)
Oops, AFive’s out. I should probably switch, seeing as she can’t attack in this area.
(switches to Cryst, belts out a little this and that, and eventually switches to Cinco due to Cryst’s low level)
Well, at least Cryst is better than some...(insert Pearl Scramblocke reference here) Anyway, now that that’s settled, I can finally go past Route 204 without a hitch. Now for AFive’s roll for Ravaged Path, though I won’t be using this for a while.
(gets heads)
Figures that I get heads when I don’t need it. (continues down Route 204)

Now Cryst is at just about the same level as everyone else, and I head over to Route 205 to find out that a girl and her father have been separated! Blasphemy! That’s it, Team Galactic. Do as you will, but when you interfere with a parent-daughter relationship, you’ve gone too far!
(approaches a Galactic Grunt in front of Valley Windworks, where the father is supposedly cooped up against his own will)

Galactic Grunt: Don’t you dare go into Valley Windworks. I got ordered to keep everyone out if they’re not a part of Team Galactic.​

(sigh) Do I have to unleash my grammar Nazism again...? Get your pronoun-antecedent agreement right, people!
(battles Galactic Grunt)
What...? Cryst is finally evolving! It wants to learn Mach Punch, too? Eff yes!!! Now none of Roark’s minions can stand in my...oh, wait. We already dealt with Roark. Sorry, Cryst; you’re just one chapter too late.
Anyway, this slightly mentally deficient Galactic Grunt claimed that he’s no longer a loser since he locked himself in with a Works’ Key, but the irony is that he disclosed the location of the other Works’ Key without my questioning if there even is another Works’ Key. (sigh) I guess when people get cocky, they can’t help but to spew out another hidden truth that leads to their demise.
(gets heads for Floaroma)
This is the part where I lead another AFive sweep.
(Stunky comes out)
...Crap.
(switches to Cinco, who sweeps with Rock Smash)
Well, that was unexpected.
(next Galactic Grunt has two Zubats, whom AFive easily sweeps with Confusion)
Thank goodness. I didn’t want to have to switch AFive out twice. Anyway, enough about my simple and usually-never-common-with-anyone desires. Off to Valley Windworks! This time, though, I have the key to prove to the pronoun-antecedent-agreement-deficient Grunt that he’s not so high and mighty!
(does so)

Galactic Grunt: Locking the door was meaningless! I am the loser in this after all!​

Well...theoretically, it wasn’t meaningless because you did manage to buy yourself a little time...which you should’ve used to distance yourself from the door. Seriously, how long have you been standing there? Ah, now to figure out if AFive can battle in Valley Windworks.
(heads)
Yep. I’ll use Cryst for now, though. For this first battle, I shall declare the first ever Slogan Moment! This is a segment that I hope to install in every update where I disclose a battle against something and all the slogans and chants involved in it!

Slogan Moment #1: Cryst vs. Zubat
Cryst gets sent out – “It’s time to come out of your shell!”
Cryst uses Taunt – “Don’t wanna be your monkey wrench!”
Cryst uses Ember – “Live in your world, play in ours!”
Cryst uses Ember again – “Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance!”
Cryst finishes with Ember – “Moments in life don’t last. While the time is right, you might as well have some sandwiches.”

That concludes this chapter’s Slogan Moment. Now, let’s hear what Mars has to say about the current situation.

Mars: We’ve been trying to create a new world that’s better than this one...​

Ah, so that’s your motive. I don’t think that’s possible. Oh, wait...(recalls a line from Smosh)

Some guy whom Ian plays: Everything’s possible with Pokémon!​

Yeah...

Mars: (after leaving Cryst at 2 HP with a critical) What do you think you’re doing to my Pokémon?!​

Look who’s talking! Cryst’s Mach Punch isn’t even a 2HKO on your Purugly! Don’t complain about your stained shirt to someone who’s dripping with barbecue sauce! Yeah...that was a horrible analogy.
(Cryst ends up fainting, while Cinco’s Rock Smash is barely a 4HKO)
Well, I may be screwed here.
(Turns out Mars doesn’t have any sort of Potion and Cinco survives with 9 HP. In other news, Cinco gained 666 Experience points for his kill!)
Figures. Mars called upon the power of the devil to fortify her Purugly with the power to defend her. Nonetheless, her effort was futile.
(Cinco gains two levels)
Geez. As demonic as it is, 666 experience points is a lot for this early on, huh? Maybe I’m just underleveled...

Mars: The boss is the only person in the world who’s allowed to order me around!​

What about the devil? I mean, you pretty much just called upon his power to help you defend yourself. What do you think he is, a cheat sheet or perhaps a firearm? I thought the devil was more than that. All right, enough endless ranting. Let’s head out of this place.
(encounters Looker, who conducts a quick investigation due to disbelief that a Trainer of my caliber could send Team Galactic pacing, and then, after finding out that his disbelief is in vain, heads to Eterna, our next destination)
Before I start heading there, I shall attempt to do the Struggle restriction required for Cryst, and my victim will be AFive.
(side note: AFive has a grand total of 80 PP, since it has Confusion, Encore, Light Screen, and Reflect. Oh, well. Better her than anyone. I mean, Cinco has Taunt, which he can’t use, and Cryst is the one who has the restriction in the first place. Thankfully, the Pokémon in Route 204 and Ravaged Path are as weak as pebbles, though their status afflictions (Budew’s Stun Spore and Zubat’s Supersonic) really get on my nerves.)

Well, I’m finally out of PP...against a level 11 Shellos with half health. How nice.
(Struggle is a roughly estimated 5HKO on said Shellos, but luckily, the latter kills itself in confusion)
A 5HKO, huh? I guess I’ll have to migrate to a more inferior area so this 5HKO can turn into something better... All this time I’ve been healing with Potions and I’ve gotten heads for pretty much every area past Jubilife...
(gets tails in Route 205)
Oh. Never mind. (heals AFive) Ah, I think I found a loophole: Embargo is only effective in battle! Therefore, using items outside of battle is A-OK! Anyway, on to my little Struggle tale.

Lv.16 AFive vs. Lv.4 Psyduck
Struggle is an OHKO!

Lol, shortest tale ever. Hope that makes you happy, Cryst, though it was pretty anticlimactic. Still, against an enemy whose level is the square root of yours, even a weak move like Struggle has the power to OHKO. Okay, that being settled, let’s head on the road to Eterna!

Camber Jacob: Hey, how about you and me battle before I go into Eterna Forest?​

...Seriously? After finding two instances of pronoun-antecedent agreement error (a rather common error which is perceived by very few people), you have to go out and make a simple error like that?! Come on, everyone your age should know that “me” is not a subject.
(finds a hidden Stardust in the ground and pauses for a moment, realizing that the Trainers around me are still moving)
Remember when those sorts of actions used to stop time? Not in this world, apparently. Really, though, what would happen if you found an item that was right near the path of a Trainer and said Trainer walked up to you asking for a battle?

Trainer: You looked at me funny! Let’s battle!
You: Shut up! I’m busy pointlessly examining this item!​

It’d probably go something like that.
(turns out one of the moving trainers actually did say “let’s battle!”)
How ironic. I just used “let’s battle” as a Smosh reference! I didn’t know that the next Trainer I had to fight would actually say it!

Battle Girl Kelsey: Hiyah! There’s no holding anything back!​

I would make a sexual joke about this, but that would be too easy. Anyway, thank goodness there’s a rest house before Eterna Forest because Cryst got haxed to death by a Machop and I don’t have a milliliter of interest in heading back to Floaroma. Anyway, let’s head into the area in question! AFive got heads, so she can participate in the next battle and maybe the following battles.
Here in Eterna Forest, we see a woman who could be mistaken as Saria’s sister or cousin if the situation called for it, and that woman is Cheryl! Plus, she decided to tag along due to her fear of Team Galactic! We also see that things have become more somber since D/P because they actually simulated the effects of treetops on sunlight, though the only trees that I see here appear to be only twice as tall as the average Trainer sprite. Then again, “that which is real is not only that which you see.” (kudos to whoever gets this reference)

Bug Catcher Jack: What’s cool, you might ask? No? I’ll tell you anyway: bug Pokémon!​

First of all, forever alone moment, much? Second of all, ice Pokémon are cooler. (gets hit by a rotten tomato) Oh, come on. My puns could get worse, you know.

Psychic Lindsey: I see you going down in defeat...​

True, but too bad your vision doesn’t specify a date or time, because if you think that it will come to pass right now, you are sadly mistaken.

(One entirety of Eterna Forest later...)
Apparently, Cheryl is glad that I guided her through here, but all I obtained in return was a Soothe Bell...which is pretty much useless unless I want to expedite the evolution of Dice, which I probably won’t. Seriously, happiness is easy to raise and I’ll probably get it up to at least 200 before I’m even done with one gym trainer. Anyway, my visit to Eterna is way overdue, so let’s go to Eterna! AFive got heads, so she can participate in the Gardenia battle if need be.
(one healing and a few steps toward the Galactic building later, I once again get bumped into by Henry, who is under the impression that I want to go see the statue even though I wasn’t planning on it)
Why, Henry, why...
(he escorts me to the statue and it turns out Cyrus is there, but he leaves after uttering stuff about the universe and whatnot)

Henry: When we smacked together, a brilliant flash of inspiration came to me!​

Like a Dimensional Scream? Geez, no wonder you keep bumping into me. I was beginning to wonder if it was intentional, but now I know.

Henry: Make certain all your attacks hit! Avoid enemy attacks for sure!​

So you’re suggesting that to become a great Trainer, you must somehow manipulate the factors of luck? Okay, whatever floats your boat...(please don’t tell me you’re going to hack) All right, since AFive seems a little underleveled right now (18 as opposed to the others’ 20s), let’s explore the small sector of Route 211 that we can explore right now. Yep, I got heads, so no problems here.
(gains a Great Ball, TM12 Taunt, and the remaining two levels that AFive needs to catch up with the others)
Well, I might not need a Great Ball, since Sad the Scyther is the only Pokémon I have left to catch, and TM12 Taunt might be useful for AFive, though I prefer Encore. Upon returning to Eterna, Cynthia gave me HM01 Cut! I’ll teach it to Cinco so that I don’t make him use Taunt by mistake. Next, I’ll go to Sinnoh Underground and get Cryst an Everstone because I don’t want him to evolve past Monferno. Finally, I’m ready to battle Gardenia, the ultimate Scramblocke killer! I have to defeat all the trainers first, though.

Aroma Lady Jenna: My Grass-type Pokémon can dole out some serious special attacks...​

Like a bunch of bananas? See, I told you my puns could get worse.
(insert annoyed crowd noises here)
All right, so now that all the Gym Trainers have been swept by Cryst, after a trip back to the Pokémon Center, it’s time to face Gardenia and her dramatic point!

Cinco vs. Turtwig
I start with Rock Smash, which is about a 6HKO, while Turtwig sets up Reflect, reducing it even further, and deals 21 damage with Razor Leaf. No defense reductions occur, even after three hits. This isn’t going well. (switches to Cryst)

Cryst vs. Turtwig
Razor leaf hits critical on the switch, but only does 19. Reflect wears off and I use Taunt to prevent a second Reflect. Flame Wheel KOs the Turtwig’s sorry shell.

Cryst vs. Cherrim
I use Taunt to prevent anything funny, but Cherrim calls the bluff and uses Magical Leaf, which does a paltry 5 damage. Cryst is now at about half HP. Flame Wheel is a 2HKO and Cryst ends up at 15 HP.

AFive vs. Roserade
Roserade hits first with Grass Knot, dealing over half of AFive’s HP. I put up Light Screen to mitigate this and heal with a Potion. AFive is at 17 HP when I decide to go out on the offensive with Confusion, which would be a 2HKO if not for Sitrus Berry. AFive hangs on with 2 HP, but cannot cease to attack due to its restriction. Fortunately, Gardenia is at healing range. Unfortunately, Roserade goes from being in the red to being at almost full. Roserade finishes with Grass Knot.

Cinco vs. Roserade
Classic heal fodder maneuver. Cryst is now at full HP.

Cryst vs. Roserade
Roserade is still faster and deals 20 damage with Magical Leaf. Fortunately, Flame Wheel finishes the accursed Scramblocke-killing humanoid bouquet.


That’s it for this chapter. Tune in next time, when Dice will finally make its overdue debut appearance!

AFive the female Mr. Mime (Lv.20)
Rash, Filter
- Confusion
- Encore
- Light Screen
- Reflect

I dithered about whether AFive or Cinco would take the LVP spot for this chapter, but I ultimately gave it to the former because Cinco was a huge help in defeating Mars’ Purugly. As I progress further into the game, STAB Confusion becomes less and less appealing, but it will surely be restored to its former glory when it gets Psychic.

Cinco the male Sneasel (Lv.20)
Hasty, Keen Eye
- Scratch
- Screech
- Cut
- Rock Smash

Like I said, Cinco was a huge help in stopping Mars’ Purugly, but that’s about where it ends. Maybe things would’ve turned out better if Rock Smash had actually reduced Turtwig’s defense like it was supposed to. Anyway, the main problem with Cinco is that it doesn’t have any STAB whatsoever and otherwise extremely weak attacks, a problem which makes me impatient for level 28, where it’ll learn Icy Wind, the “ultimate five move.”

Cryst the male Monferno (Lv.23)
Rash, Blaze
- Fury Swipes
- Mach Punch
- Flame Wheel
- Taunt

As I had predicted last chapter, Cryst had a much better role this chapter; it went from being completely useless to being my saving grace. Really, that Roserade is a monster that only Cryst, whose Flame Wheel got no worse than a 2HKO on everything, could slay (with the help of AFive). Taunt was also great, preventing a few Stun Spores and Leech Seeds here and there, but Cryst’s Fire STAB is what he boasts the most, and that statement will hold true for the rest of the Scramble. Thinking up slogans is still exhausting, by the way.

Chapter 3: Chances are that Skyrim will never get Home Improvement

The date is May 16, 2012, approximately four days after my victory over the Scramblocke killer, Gardenia. Most of my slacking is due to my obsession with Skyrim, but other causes include two consecutive exam days (the first for AP French and the second for Microsoft Access), the page 200 Scramble Awards coming up, excessive history assignments, and just a flat-out lack of motivation. Anyway, I have no more than 30 minutes left of this day as it is, so I'll be brief.
First up, I sadly don't obtain Dice yet. I first have to conquer the Galactic building in Eterna, and I can do so now that I have the gym badge and Cinco's Cut!
(cuts a tree and accidentally heads in without stopping to get any items)
Whoops.
(sees Looker disguised as a Grunt)

Looker: Hello! It is me! Me! Hahaha! I have startled you, yes?​

Honestly, if people's names didn't show up when said people started talking, I would not have known that that was Looker. Gladly, however, that is not the case.
(he takes off his disguise)
Why would you do that...? You're still in Galactic terrain, you know.

Looker: ...Incidentally, you are a first-rate Trainer. Of that, I am very aware.​

Okay, but despite that, you don't realize that a Galactic member is staring right at us...?

Looker: But the crooks of Team Galactic, they do not appear, how shall I say, smart.​

You can say that again.

Looker: There should be an easy way to tell the stairs apart!​

...Did you just rhyme? I wonder if Gamefreak intended that...
(Looker once again assumes his Galactic disguise)
Sure, right after you take it off. What, do you think time stopped around us as we were talking? Come on, now, that would never happen! (stares at Gamefreak)

Galactic member at the counter: As a group, Team Galactic has its sights set on the stars, not on this world!​

No wonder you people are so naïve; you always have your head in the clouds. That also partially explains why you didn't see that Galactic member over there...(awkward change of subject) Oh, yeah, I should probably get that item that I was supposed to get before I entered the dubious electronic sliding door.
(it's TM46 Thief)
Curses. Cinco can't learn it (40 BP, 100 Acc, 10 PP). No use for it, then.

Sign beside the first staircase on the right: The path you chose leads to glory.​

If you say so. I'll just avoid it, then.
(fights an easy double battle that unfortunately causes neither Cinco nor AFive to level up)
No, I'm not underleveled; the major battles are just overleveled! That's the problem! Wait...problem? That's actually a nice addition now that I think about it.
(finds that the path with the sign was actually the right path)
Well... When Looker said that Team Galactic wasn't smart, he wasn't kidding. Mind you, I was not stupid to fall for it; I was just being overanalytical. Besides, it's always worthwhile to explore every corner, whether it contains anything useful or not.
(at the top of the wrong staircase, I am three spaces away from a Galactic Grunt facing my direction who nonetheless fails to see me)
Geez, are you blind?
(I tap him on the shoulder and then he willingly battles me)
Seriously. Do I have to let out a shrill cry like Rowan did two chapters ago just to get your attention?
(After battling the blind guy, Cinco wants to learn Fury Swipes!)
With 15 PP? Yes, please. I mean, it's better than Scratch at least 66% of the time...well, in B/W mechanics, anyway; I don't know how it went in 4th gen.

Galactic Grunt on top of the correct staircase: Team Galactic is working hard to find new energy sources for the future!​

You know, the real-life economy, especially that of the United States, could really use those energy sources, whatever they are. Still, if they pertain to the evolution of Pokémon, then there's really nothing we can do about that, huh? Well...unless there were some way we could mutate animals into Pokémon. But, there are enough animals in the world as it is, so usage of these mutations is superfluous. Plus, Pokémon is just a myth, so why bother applying it to real life in the first place? Ah, I love rants that end with a self-contradictory statement.
(sees another two staircases, one with a sign, the other without)
Oh, great. Let's see what the sign says this time. Oh, wait...it's 11 o'clock already. Crap. I guess I'll have to end my May 16 entry. Until tomorrow, guys.


Hello. This is the future me of the past. The date is May 17, 2012, and I am once again 30 minutes away from my curfew. My Skyrim obsession kicked in again, which is why my time is so short. I just joined the Imperial Legion and the pertinent quests are so addicting. One more thing: veggie straws are awesome. Now, back to the update.
So, when the present me of the past last left off, he was getting ready to read the sign. Its inscription is as follows:

Let us make progress together!
Team Galactic​

Pretty suspicious. Anyway, let's follow the staircase that isn't marked by this sign!
(upon entry, sees a woman four tiles away from me facing my direction who, despite these circumstances, still doesn't see me)
You guys seriously need to get your eyes checked...or at least stop looking at the sky.

That same Galactic Grunt: We love it when people come to us to donate their Pokémon!​

I didn't come to donate my Pokémon; I came to tell you that you need to get your eyes checked.

The Galactic Grunt (after defeat): You can catch Pokémon anywhere. What's so special about them?​

Well...they're a vital part of your research, for one thing. In fact, if you can really catch Pokémon anywhere, as you say, why are you so happy about other people's donating to you? That sounds like hypocrisy to me, but I digress. Hey, look, another sign! Let's see what this one says!

Question not and follow this path! The road to success!​

Well, you know what? I strayed from the path and got both a Blue Shard and a Revive, so...well, maybe you're right. What's more is that I saw Jupiter up there. Get ready for a major battle!
(one easy Zubat KO by AFive later, out comes Cryst)
And now for this chapter's Slogan Moment!

Slogan Moment #2: Cryst vs. Skuntank
Cryst gets sent out - "It's a small world after all!"
Cryst uses Taunt - "You spin me right round, baby, right round like a record, baby, right round, round, round!"
Cryst uses Flame Wheel (which is a 4HKO) - "Checks and balances: because obviously, one body can't control everything."
Cryst uses Flame wheel again - "Heroscape: the battle of all time."
(insert Sitrus recovery here)
Cryst uses Flame Wheel yet again - "Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend..."
Cryst uses the critical Flame Wheel to rule them all - "There's never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever a show like Veggietales!"

Boy, I hope I don't get sued for using these slogans. Anyway, that concludes this chapter's obligatory Slogan Moment. Now, let's see what Jupiter has to say about her humiliating defeat to a critical.

Jupiter: I suggest you keep out of Team Galactic's affairs from now on.​

Yeah...not happening. If you're threatening the good of innocent people all around Sinnoh, I won't hesitate to stop you! Now, I've hit my curfew for today, so I'll cease progress for now. Tomorrow, I'll get Dice onto the team; I promise!


Hello. This is the future me of the past's future. The date is now May 18, 2012. Today is Friday, so I don't have to worry about my curfew and am only limited by my own sleepiness. The page 200 Scramble Awards have just been given out yesterday, and though I didn't win anything, I'm surprised that I was even nominated...and Guitar Hero ended up being runner-up for Most Creative Challange (GG Fourthwall). Also, before you ask, no, I did not vote for myself.
Anyway, at long last, it's time to receive Dice's egg from Cynthia!
(does so)
Also...
(gets a Bicycle for free)
While I'm at it, I think I'll do Cryst's sitcom restriction.
(in the process of hatching Dice, I find the first episode of Home Improvement on Youtube and watch it, laughing at every joke, no matter how lame)
Okay, I watched the first part, and now I have to soft-reset because my first Togepi hatched with Hustle! At least the egg in question only takes about 2000 steps to hatch. Also, I won't be watching the next two parts until tomorrow, since apparently my Wii has something against the buffering of Youtube videos. See you then!


Hello. This is the...all right, you all get it. Nobody cares what days through which I build upon my updates. Anyway, time to receive Dice egg number 2 while watching part 2 of the first episode of Home Improvement while attempting to laugh at all the jokes, funny or not.
(second Dice egg ends up having Serene Grace)
Hooray! Unfortunately, it only has Growl and Charm, so it can only be switch-trained. While I do that, I'll watch the final part of the sitcom episode.
(gets Dice to level 6, causing it to learn Metronome and obtains an Exp Share soon after)
Well, I guess I didn't need to switch-train. In fact, I don't think switch-training's an option at this point, since it just learned Metronome. Furthermore, I don't like to exploit such cowardly means as an Exp Share. The fun in doing a Scramble Challenge is using what you have without complaining about what you don't have. Anyway, I finished the episode of Home Improvement, so I sincerely hope that Cryst is happy about it. Now, the next portion of this saga will be dedicated to grinding (or rather, attempting to grind) Dice up to speed.
(against a level 11 Shellos, Dice calls upon a critical Thunder and finishes with Payback before dying)
That, my compatriots, is an example of what I call good luck.
(next battle, he calls upon U-turn at 1 HP)
Geez... Dice may just be finding a needle in a haystack, but he really knows what he's doing.
(the battle after that, he calls upon Seed Flare, but misses)
Oh, of all the dumb luck. Third time's a charm, my foot. In other news, I would like to extend a thank-you to Cinco for cleaning up when Dice fails to get the job done. You guys are a legit duo.
(Dice learned Sweet Kiss!)
Finally! Metronome is no longer my only method of dealing damage! Nonetheless, I am aware that Metronome still has to be used at the start of every battle. Furthermore, Sweet Kiss is unreliable, as it has a paltry 75 accuracy and confusion is just...haxy.
(in the battle after that, Dice dies to a critical Water Pulse)

Screw you, Shellos.
(a few battles later...)

The wild HOOTHOOT took the Doom Desire attack!
But it failed!​

(a vein pops in my forehead) Don't you screw with me...
(first invocation of Present heals its opponent)
Boy, I can't wait to have a reliable attack on this thing. All this hax is really taking its toll on me. Oh, on an unrelated note, I've had something on my mind since after beating Gardenia...
(teaches Cryst Grass Knot over Fury Swipes)
Now it can much better cope with the likes of Onix.
(in other hax-related news, Dice calls upon Pin Missile against a Chingling and misses. Ironically, soon after, it's freed from Wrap at 1 HP)
Wow...funny how good luck ends up canceling out bad luck.
(Dice consecutively gets hit by a critical and calls upon Healing Wish)
Well, shut my mouth. All right, I really want to advance the plot (or lack thereof), so I'll start grinding Dice against Trainers instead of wild Pokémon on Route 211. On another note, AFive got heads for Routes 206 and 207. oh, and one more thing: I considered AFive eligible to fight in the Galactic Building in Eterna without a coin flip. Why, you may ask? It was still in Eterna, for which AFive already had heads. In other words, theoretically, the restriction says, and I quote:

1. If he is in your party during the first time you enter a new area (basically, a new route or town)...

Buildings are not specified. To further support my argument, the building is still in Eterna City, so when I entered the building, I wasn't entering a new area (side note: this logic also applies to gyms, explaining why they don't have a separate coin flip either). That being said, the coin flip shouldn't apply in that situation. Even though the restriction didn't mention caves, either, I personally consider caves to be new areas, which explains the separate coin flips for such places as Oreburgh Gate and Ravaged Path. Anyway, enough about AFive; let's move on.
(many grueling Trainer battles later, finds a PP Up on Route 206)
Awesome! Guess whom I'm going to use it on? If you really don't know, you'll find out later in the update (though it should be pretty obvious). In other news, AFive got heads for Mount Coronet as well! That won't matter much, though, since I've been using her much more seldom due to Dice's inauguration as a team member. Anyway, blah, blah, blah...I pass through Mount Coronet...Cyrus gives a boring speech...in one ear, out the other... Coin toss for Route 208!
(heads)

Black Belt Kyle: This karate man's going to pulverize you!​

(his sole Machop gets "pulverized" by the combined effort of Dice and AFive)

In other news, AFive's heads streak ends at Hearthome, which is unfortunate because I was hoping it could combat Haunter in the battle against Fantina. Furthermore, Cinco doesn't have any Dark STAB (or any STAB for that matter) or even the slightest method of hitting Ghost-types, and Sad the Scyther is out of my reach until I can get to Solaceon. I guess that means I'll have to rely on Dice's immunity to Ghost and natural bulk, as well as Cryst's raw power and speed, for this gym battle...not to mention sheer luck...and a hoard of items. Anyway, I enter Hearthome, a Buneary bumps into me, and I meet its owner and my in-game mom in the Contest Hall, where I have to talk to Fantina before challenging her.

Fantina: Ah, oui, Contests you are here for?​

No, I came in here to get your purple-garmented butt out of the Contest Hall and into your gym!

Fantina: Mmm, let me see... You also seem to be très strong.​

...Très strong? Vraiment? You know, Gamefreak, if I were you, I would've used the term "puissant," which can be used to an equal effect in English and in French. I know "puissant" is not that well suited for children, but, well, it's an early lesson in SAT vocabulary, so all the better for the general public, right? It also annoys me how you bother to put the accents in "très" and "Pokémon," yet you don't bother to put the accent over the "i" in "naïve."

Guy with sunglasses in front of the gym: If you cast a light on one, or they catch you in the light, the battle's on!​

(sigh) Again with the pronoun-antecedent agreement issues. Seriously, does anybody in the world know or care about this grammatical concept?
(inside the gym, through 11 Metronome PP and 3 Super Potions, Gym Trainer solo #1 GET)
For that victory, above all else, I have Sacred Fire to thank. 100% Burn chance due to Serene Grace? Yes, please. How unfortunate that I couldn't record the progress of that battle. I will for some others, though. However, there's a problem: stupid Molly and her Haxdreavus. Seriously, I had to soft-reset three times because of those jerks!

Lv.20 Dice vs. Lv.23 Misdreavus (aka Haxdreavus)
Turn 1: Misdreavus uses Pain Split and loses HP! Dice calls upon Stealth Rock. What a great start, huh?
Turn 2: Misdreavus uses Pain Split again, while Dice calls upon Poisonpowder!!! Yes!!! I may just have a chance here!
Turn 3: Misdreavus uses Confuse Ray, but Dice fortunately maneuvers his way out and attacks with Night Slash! Unfortunately, it didn't do that much, leaving Misdreavus at about 1/3 HP.
Turn 4: Misdreavus uses Pain Split, bringing it back up to 2/3 HP. Dice pulls Crunch and gets a useless defense drop. This combined effort with poison damage leaves Misdreavus hanging at about 1/5 HP.
Turn 5: Misdreavus uses Pain Split in hopes of causing rage...and it's working pretty well. Dice finally snaps out of confusion, but pulls Force Palm... Well, you really can't get lucky four consecutive times, can you?
Turn 6: Misdreavus uses Pain Split again, demonstrating the prime example of a troll. Dice pulls Giga Drain, reducing Misdreavus to the point where poison damage can OHKO.
Turn 7: Misdreavus uses Confuse Ray again. Fortunately, Dice maneuvers its way out of that one, too, but unfortunately pulls a useless Hyper Beam. Past that, Misdreavus dies to poison damage, so...no matter.

Gym Trainer solo #2 GET! It took quite a while, but it will surely be worth my time. I mean, since Dice and Cryst are my only functional members at the moment, Dice's evolution would be golden at this point. Anyway, that hard-earned solo of Misdreavus is the only one that I'll record, as I have a really annoying time with Metronome and other haxy things like Confuse ray and Minimize.
(Dice soloes a Gastly that was almost helpless (had a set of Confuse Ray/Hypnosis/Sucker Punch/Night Shade) after pulling Zap Cannon and actually hitting. Solo #3 GET! Now I can evolve Dice!)
Sweet! Unfortunately, it can't physically evolve due to happiness issues. Still, though, I actually learned something from this: the reason why I though evolving by happiness was because the last thing I evolved by happiness was a Riolu, which had a frightfully hasty evolution. Then again, I meticulously bred and EV trained the thing, so I know where the quick evolution comes from. It's because of the vitamins, I tell you! They have drugs in them that cause Pokémon to go crazy!!!
(one tussle with Fantina's cronies later, Dice finally evolves!!!)
...and there goes 5-10% of my powerlessness. Finally, it's time to affront Fantina with my two-'mon band!

Dice vs. Duskull
I start with Metronome as per the restrictions and come up with Smog, which luckily poisons! Duskull retaliates with Future Sight. Next, I miss with Sweet Kiss and bite the Will-o-wisp, which I promptly heal. Duskull uses Pursuit for some random reason. Combine that with Future Sight and you've got a Togetic down 20 HP. Sweet Kiss actually hits on the next turn, but Duskull doesn't hurt itself and uses Future Sight again. The next Metronome turns up with Aeroblast, which annihilates the Duskull where it stands.

Dice vs. Haunter
At this point, I decide to go for my GLP solo with only Metronome, though I should have done that earlier, as Duskull was powerless against Dice. Anyway, Haunter starts with Hypnosis while Future Sight hits for paltry damage. Haunter then uses Confuse Ray. Initially, I would get angry at these haxy moves, but then I realize: what else can it do when its other moves are Sucker Punch and Shadow Claw? (side note: lol @ physical Haunter) Finally, Dice manages to be able to use Metronome, but calls upon Magnet Bomb, a 7HKO at a rough estimate. Sucker Punch fails and Metronome calls upon a useless Imprison. Haunter finally misses with Hypnosis and Dice calls upon Power Gem, reducing Haunter to half health. This time, Haunter once again succeeds in hitting with Hypnosis and Zs appear out of thin air. Guess what ensues: another Confuse Ray. Past that, more sleeping and more failed Sucker Punches ensue. Dice hurts itself for the first time in the entire battle. Haunter uses Hypnosis again (as if Dice hadn't slept enough) and uselessly attempts to use Confuse Ray due to Sucker Punch's being out of commission and Shadow Claw's...well, you now. Dice finally wakes up and guess what? It hurts itself again. Thankfully, though, Hypnosis misses and Dice manages to get a Metronome in. However, as if to be hax's method of retribution, Dice misses with the Fire Blast upon which he called. Fortunately, Hypnosis misses again and the next Metronome calls upon Tailwind. The Metronome after that calls upon Energy Ball, which reduces...you know what? Here's an abridged version: Haunter spams Confuse Ray and Hypnosis, while Dice struggles to get anything good with Metronome. finally, good luck balances out bad luck and Dice calls upon a Fire Blast, which actually hits this time, thank goodness! Finally, Dice is eligible to evolve into Togekiss!

Dice vs. Mismagius
The final adversary presents itself as an ethereal, limbless sorceress dressed entirely in purple: Mismagius. It leads with Confuse Ray, but Dice maneuvers out of it and hits with Sweet Kiss, giving the sorceress a taste of her own medicine. Ironically, Mismagius doesn't hurt itself in confusion, yet Dice does. Next turn, Mismagius still doesn't hurt itself, but this time, neither does Dice as it calls upon Sky Attack. Fortunately, Mismagius finally decides to hurt itself in confusion. Unfortunately, so did Dice, rendering Sky Attack useless. After this, Psybeam reduces Dice to 9 HP. Dice, in return, uses a useless Acid Armor before I go to heal. Now, a lack of health isn't my only problem; Dice seems to be out of Metronome PP! Thankfully, I've been keeping an Ether in handy since God-knows-when. The next Metronome calls upon Amnesia, which is just what I need in a situation like this. Curse you, Psybeam, and your doing over 10 damage each turn. Now, it only does 6. Next turn, Mismagius once again uses Confuse Ray. It was until this very moment that I thought Acid Armor was useless; Dice hurts itself in confusion and, instead of the usual 5, it does a negligible 3 damage. During the confused turns, Dice actually calls upon something useful: Fly. Unfortunately, it's only a 3HKO on the sorceress. I go to heal due to Mismagius' just so happening to have inflicted a critical with Psybeam. The next Metronome calls upon Flare Blitz, which does just about as much as Fly but, due to Sitrus recovery, seems to have done nothing. Next Metronome: Sand Tomb. Whoop-dee-doo. After that: Knock Off. Just in time, huh? Dice hurts itself in confusion next turn. Dice gets a Yawn in, Mismagius gets another crit, and a Sweet Kiss ensues. After another healing session, Mismagius instantly wakes up and hits through confusion. Fortunately, Dice, too, hits through confusion and gets Fire Spin, which would be a useful tool if Fantina didn't care to use items like the Galactic admins. Speaking of items, Mismagius drops down to healing range. Mismagius finally hurts itself in confusion and Dice calls upon...Magnet Rise. Yep, you read that right: one of the most useless moves upon which Togetic could possibly call. Fortunately, past that, I get some actually useful moves like Aqua Ring and...Vine Whip. Unfortunately, Dice seems to be out of Metronome PP. Cryst, your talents are needed!

Cryst vs. Mismagius
Mismagius still sleeps, fortunately. The last thing Cryst would want is a Psybeam to the face. Unfortunately, Flame Wheel is a 3HKO. Fortunately, and I mean very fortunately, Mismagius carelessly uses Confuse Ray and Cryst maneuvers past the confusion with a Flame Wheel! Relic Badge GET!!!


Wow... The one time Dice finally decides to join the team, it actually becomes my greatest asset soon after. On an unrelated note, Shadow Claw has 15 PP and Cinco can learn it! This way, it's not completely useless against Ghost-types! Sadly, though, it's just one gym battle too late. Speaking of gym battles, tune in next time when I'll be inaugurating my fifth and final member, Sad the Scyther!

AFive the female Mr. Mime (Lv.24)
Rash, Filter
- Confusion
- Encore
- Light Screen
- Reflect

Same Mr. Mime, same moveset, same old restrictions. How unfortunate that it couldn't fight in Hearthome Gym; I could've used the Psychic STAB against all the Gastly and Haunter roaming around.

Cinco the male Sneasel (Lv.24)
Hasty, Keen Eye
- Shadow Claw
- Screech
- Cut
- Rock Smash

For this chapter, Cinco remains STABless, yet it actually got something worth mentioning: Shadow Claw. With this, Cinco is no longer helpless against Ghosts like it used to be. I'll admit that before it had Shadow Claw, it actually did become useful as heal fodder when Cryst was fainted and Dice wasn't in the best position, seeing how he was out of Metronome PP. What I did was I spammed Screech and hoped that the remaining Haunter would kill itself in confusion...and it did. I can't wait until level 28, though...

Cryst the male Monferno (Lv.27)
Rash, Blaze
- Grass Knot
- Mach Punch
- Flame Wheel
- Taunt

Unlike the other veterans, Cryst actually got a huge advancement: Grass Knot. With this tool, it no longer has to suffer 2HKOing Rock-types but annihilating them where they stand (or, in the case of Onix...well, I don't know what a snake does instead of standing). That aside, I hope he's happy that I did the sitcom thing because I might just be scarred for life by that ending. With that out of the way, all that's left is this: 1) make a bonfire out of 15 items, and 2) win 3 Pokémon Contests with one Pokémon (I can't believe I forgot about that restriction until the middle of writing this update).

Dice the male Togetic (Lv.24)
Bashful, Serene Grace
- Yawn
- Charm
- Metronome (PP Up'd)
- Sweet Kiss

And the award for most useful newcomer goes to...Dice! Seriously, when I hatched this thing at level 1, I thought it would never catch up with the rest of my team, yet, based on its actions, it seems to have provided an example for the rest of the team. Honestly, if not for Dice, I would have been totally screwed against Fantina. Even though Metronome has its drawbacks, it can be deadly when used in the right hands, and those hands belong to Togetic.

Chapter 4: A Hyperopic Look Through a Myopic Eye

I'm back and it's time to take care of business. First of all, according to Pika25, there are Shiny Stones underground, so I might as well get one. However, I won't evolve Dice just yet; I've got to teach it Ancientpower first. Also, I want to make Cryst's bonfire as soon as possible, so hopefully, I'll get some items for that.
(one trip underground later)
Well, I didn't get the Shiny Stone I was looking for, but I think I have plenty of items for the bonfire now. First ingredient: a Big Pearl! Second ingredient: a Hard Stone! Third ingredient: a TinyMushroom! Fourth ingredient: two bags of Stardust! And, to top it all off, 10 jars of Honey! Now, Cryst, would you do the honors?
(Cryst sets itself on fire and dashes past the pile of goulash, somehow igniting it)
I hope that makes you happy. Now, as for the Contest restriction, I'll choose AFive for that because it has two Smart moves (Confusion and Reflect) and one Beauty move, a minor problem which I can fix with a secret weapon in my TM case: Flash. Yes, Flash. The once useless TM actually makes a worthwhile appearance in this chapter!
(practices in a Beauty Contest and ends up placing first)
I don't know how I did that, but I sure hope circumstances become this favorable for the other Contests that I'll be doing (Normal and Great Smart Contests).
(wins the Normal Rank Beauty Contest)
One down, two to go.
(wins the Normal Rank Smart Contest, which was not hard at all due to the retarded AI who kept performing for the same judge every turn)
Geez, what business do you have entering a Pokémon in a Smart Contest if you're so retarded? Seriously, you can't just rely on your Pokémon to live up to your expectations; you have to do that sort of thing by yourselves.
(loses the Great Rank Smart Contest by a landslide)
Okay...I take that back. You guys really seem to know what you're doing. You were just picking the same judge to deceive me! Curse you and your shenanigans!
(a few Poffins later, wins the Great Rank Smart Contest by quite an unexpected lot)
Yes!!! Now, past all the slogans and whatnot, Cryst should be perfectly satisfied with what I've done! Anyway, I'll continue excavating the pit known as Sinnoh Underground.
(one more trip underground later)
Wow. I seem to have gotten everything but a Shiny Stone. (takes a look at Serebii.net's ItemDex) Route 210 (with Dowsing Machine) is the location listed for Shiny Stones. Upon further examination, it seems to be in the northern part. I guess I'll have to wait until after catching Sad the Scyther to evolve Dice... Ah, well. It's not like I'll reach level 33 by the time I get to Route 210 north anyway. Okay, enough looking into the future; let's open up our "present." (gets hit by a rotten tomato) Tough crowd. Anyway, our next destination: Route 210! Oh, but apparently, Henry stands in our way, seeing vengeance for not being shown in the previous chapter! At least he's not in D/P where he shows up before you reach the crossroads at the south side of Hearthome. Anyway, battle!
(Cinco almost beats Staravia, but gets revenged by a Quick Attack)
Dangit. How could I forget about stupid Quick Attack?
(Dice comes in and bites an Endeavor, which reduces it to 17 HP)
Well, aren't you annoying.
(Fortunately, Dice calls upon Swift and finishes the annoying starling)
Boy, I'm glad that worked out for the best. Geez, Dice, aren't you just a hax machine.
(last PP of Metronome calls upon Leaf Storm, which finishes Prinplup)
Man, if that's not a close call, I don't know what is. Anyway, so, I'd like to extend a thank-you to Dice and Cryst for being so awesome. I'll also extend a half-thank-you to Cinco for reducing Staravia to a suitable level of HP.

Henry: It goes to show my surefire winning strategy doesn't work.​

Oh, you mean the one about RNG manipulation? Yeah, well...your nooby Staravia was enough to get me angry, so it wasn't a total failure.

Henry: I guess I have to grind it out and toughen up the team a bit at a time.​

^Story of a scrambler's life right there...at least, that's what I do in all my scrambles. Is no one else this way? Anyway, AFive's die roll for Route 209 turned out to be heads, so now I get to do some long overdue grinding with her. Maybe in the process I can get some useful moves. Seriously, this set of dual screens and Confusion is really cheesing me off. By the way, initially, I thought this restriction was going to be a killer:

4. He must have at least one attack with a secondary effect. The rest of his attacks must have a BP of 60 or under.

That was because I thought that meant that one attack was to have over 60 BP and the others were to have <=60 BP, but after taking a closer look at the restriction, I was mistaken. The BP restriction only applies to moves that don't have a secondary effect. Fortunately, that includes so few moves that I can't even name one.
(AFive wants to learn Psybeam!)
Sweet! Even though it's nothing new as far as typing, a 15 BP advancement is always good (and by good, I mean better than no advancement).
(a young couple on Route 209 has a Buizel and a Buneary)
Ah, Normal+Water coverage! I see what you did there.
(at Solaceon Town, I meet Henry, who actually decides to control his bumping into me)
So, my advice finally sank in to your head, huh? After what, 5 times I've told you?
(Henry tells me that he already explored Solaceon Ruins and found Defog there)
Well, due to my vulnerability to hax, I guess it'll be worth my while...but first, I'll explore Lost Tower. I remember in one run I was looking everywhere for Strength when it was in the Lost Tower the whole time. I was like, "Why did I overlook that tower?!"
(finds a jar of Honey near a tombstone)
...How ominous. After I burned 10 jars of Honey in a bonfire, one of them comes back to haunt me.
(there's fog on the third floor)
Please tell me you're joking. Fine, I'll stop planning ahead and go through the motions if it makes you happy! Then, it's off to (sigh) Solaceon Ruins for me, huh?
(finds another PP Up outside of the area in question and promptly uses it on Dice's Metronome)
Well, after a while of exploring the cave, I actually managed to find a Fire Stone, a Water Stone, and a Thunderstone. I also got Cinco up to level 26. Two more levels until Icy Wind...! Anyway, here I am at the final basement floor, where I find four items. Let's see what they are, shall we?
(top-left is a Nugget, top-right is HM05 Defog, bottom-left is Mind Plate, and bottom-right is Odd Incense)
It figures that literally only half of these items are useful. Now, let's get out of here.
(finds my Bag devoid of Escape Ropes)

The hard way.
(does so)
Now, let's go find that Scyther!
(it takes about 10 encounters to find a Scyther)
Wow...for once, probability appears to accurately reflect circumstances.
(captures Scyther first try with the help of Cinco)
Sweet. Now, I'll actually name it =( because I'm tired of referring to it as Sad. It just sounds weird, that's all. Anyway, let's look at some of its important restrictions. Must learn Swords Dance...must have a special move...okay, let's see. It learns Swords Dance at level 57, and the special move will probably end up being Vacuum Wave, which I'll get when I get to Pastoria. Also in the special department are Razor Wind, Air Slash, Hidden Power, Hyper Beam, Silver Wind, Ominous Wind (tutor move), and Swift (also a tutor move). The earliest of these are Razor Wind, which it learns at level 33, Hidden Power at Veilstone (though it's at the Game Corner and the only thing I want from the Game Corner is Dice's obligatory TM move (which probably won't be Hidden Power)), Hyper Beam at the Veilstone Department Store, and Silver Wind at Route 212. That being said, the special move will probably start off being Hyper Beam until I can get Vacuum Wave.
With that tl;dr paragraph aside, upon further research, I have found out two things: 1) Shiny Stones cannot be found underground, contrary to Pika25's belief, and 2) after D/P, HM04 Strength actually migrated to Iron Island. On that note, I really don't have to browse the Lost Tower, do I? Unless, of course, I want a Spell Tag or a Revive, but that's clearly not enough incentive for me, so I'll just move on for now.
(one trip to Veilstone City later...)
Honestly, why do all of my new recruits have to shine the most at the time of their recruitment? Seriously, =( is a freaking powerhouse! Its movepool is awesome with Technician, even early on! With Pursuit, Rock Smash, and Wing Attack, this thing is nigh unstoppable! Good thing it's not useless, honestly, because I got tails for AFive in Veilstone, meaning that I won't be able to annihilate Maylene with it...or at least, that's what I thought at the time.
On another note, I just realized: I don't have to wait until level 57 for =( to get Swords Dance; I can just get it at the Game Corner! Now I have to spend another 4000 coins along with whatever I care to spend on Dice's TM! Speaking of which, what should Dice's TM be? Right now, I'm dithering between Flamethrower and Substitute. Flamethrower is better for immediate power, but Substitute will make it easier for Dice to use Metronome. Hmm...I'd prefer to have Flamethrower, but I'll resort to Substitute if I get bored of the slots. I mean, 10,000 coins is not a sum to be taken lightly. Yeah, I'll just take Substitute. Suddenly, the Clefairy are leaving after only one bonus round. But, well, at least Substitute is better than Lucky Chant...
Anyway, enough gab. Let's head over to Maylene's and see how she's doing!
(gets interrupted by Dawn)
Why do I even bother...

Dawn: I went shopping at the department store, and...​

What a coincidence! I was just there a day or two ago!
(suddenly, Wake comes out of Maylene's gym)
Wait, what? Get back to your own gym, not Nacho Libre!

Wake: Hello, dude and young lady!​

Please...refrain from calling me "dude."

Wake: (referring to Maylene) Let me tell you now, she's young, but she's a born genius.​

Well, I guess whoever said "you can't combine brain with brawn" was wrong, huh?

Wake: I'm the triple-threat Gym Leader in Pokémon, wrestling, and song.​

Song, too? Man, if you ask me, I'd say you're the Jack Black of the Pokémon games.
(Dawn and Wake both leave)
Okay, now let’s go to Maylene's and see how she's doing!
(one helping of Gym Trainers later)
Wow...I just fought the haxiest Heracross in the universe. That jerk would never hurt itself in confusion, avoided Sweet Kiss twice, and failed to be OHKO'd by Cryst's Flame Wheel. Anyway, I have to wonder why Maylene has three plaques on her wall.

Plaque 1: A good deed for every day.
Plaque 2: One day at a time.
Plaque 3: Treasure every encounter, for it is unique.​

...and then I wonder why I bothered examining them. Now, let's compliment Maylene on how nice her gym is. Seriously, it's the best one I've seen so far.

=( vs. Meditite
I start with Swords Dance as per the restriction and Meditite has Rock Tomb, which fortunately doesn't OHKO. Even more fortunately, Meditite doesn't have Bullet Punch and instantly dies to Wing Attack.

=( vs. Machoke
Wing Attack instakill. Wouldn’t have expected anything less.

=( vs. Lucario
Lucario outspeeds and kills with Metal Claw. I guess that was to be expected, seeing how Lucario was at level 32 and =( was at -1.

Dice vs. Lucario
Well...let's just say that confusion isn't the best way to solve problems...(especially against AI)

Cinco vs. Lucario
Screech in preparation for the havoc that Cryst will wreak with Flame Wheel.

Cryst vs. Lucario
Lucario somehow outspeeds and uses Force Palm, albeit fortunately not KOing or paralyzing. As I had predicted, Cryst wreaks absolute havoc with its Blaze-boosted, super-effective, Screech-enforced Flame Wheel.

However, this is not the end of the chapter. I feel like this chapter's been too short to fit something as simple as the path from Fantina to Maylene, so I'll incorporate everything up to Wake in it. Anyway, when I head out, I am first greeted by Dawn. Apparently, her Pokédex got taken away, so I guess, due to obvious child-friendly plot logic, that we have no choice but to help her out. First, though, I should probably catch a Staravia to be my Fly/Defog slave.
(does so)
Now, back to the crap I was about to do earlier.

Dawn: You and your Pokémon together with me and my Pokémon... United like this, our dream team has no chance of losing!​

If you just ditched the Pokémon, it would be paradise. I'm kidding; calm down.
(beats the crap out of the two Grunts, after which Looker suddenly comes in and points me in the direction of HM02 Fly, which I could’ve just gotten without anyone's taking me to it)
Gee...thanks. Anyway, let's move on to Route 214 which, in this sense, is essentially the way to Pastoria! AFive got heads, so I'll grind her in this area. I've been constantly thinking of teaching her Shock Wave, and then I thought, "Why not?" I mean, if AFive's just stuck with her STAB, she can't deal with any Psychic- or Dark-types. Speaking of which, the next Pokémon I encounter is a Chingling! Perfect timing, huh? Next, I beat the living tar out of a Drifloon, giving me another tenth of a reversal of fate! That makes 2/10, by the way. Yeah...I haven't been doing much with AFive lately.
(A few battles later, Dice gets Wish and Cinco finally learns Icy Wind!)
About Wish...well, my healing item stock doesn't usually end with 5, so when that sort of situation arises and Cinco needs the health, I'll have something to do about it. Besides, what if Dice is up against a Fighting-type? Roost would usually not be the best thing to do in that situation. Trust me; there are a lot of Fighting-types in Platinum, so much so that Cinco can barely exist in this area anymore.
Anyway, after a bit of research, I just realized that the Shiny Stone and Razor Claw (needed to evolve Dice and Cinco, respectively) are impossible to obtain before Wake, so I'll have to trade those from SoulSilver. I'll probably also need some Rare Candies to get Cinco to level 34 before it evolves. It may be considered cheating, but hey, it's the only way I can fulfill my restrictions at this point. Come to think of it, maybe I should've thought about evolving Cinco at level 25...but I never thought that the Razor Claw would be past Wake, even though Sneasel itself is, so I should’ve...oh, whatever. The point is, I don't want to reset this scramble and grinding to level 35 at this point would be a royal pain, so it's the only other option I have.
(several trades later, I now have a Shiny Stone, a Razor Claw, and 6 more Rare Candies)
Now, there will be evolution.
(Cinco is now a Weavile and Dice is now a Togekiss)
The good news about Cinco's evolution is that it gets Night Slash, the best move it could possibly get under its restrictions! The bad news is that it's now under a permanent Torment. Anyway, with that out of my hair, the full team of five is now fully assembled! Oh, yeah, I almost forgot: Dice needs Ancientpower. Fortunately, it's a tutor move, so there's no need to get all riled up about it. Unfortunately, that tutor happens to be all the way in the Survival Area, a place to which I cannot get until I've beaten the Elite Four! That means I have to go BP farming in SoulSilver again!!! That Razor Claw was a ditch to get...
(one grueling loss at the 160th battle in the Battle Hall later)
Curse you, Focus Sash. Curse you to the deepest reaches of Pokéhell. Anyway, now that Dice has Ancientpower, all of its immediate restrictions have been fulfilled! So, let's continue on the road to Pastoria, shall we?
(AFive soloes a Duskull, getting itself up to 3/10 of a reversal of fate, then finds a PP Up, which allows me to max out Dice's Metronome's PP! In other news, AFive got tails in both Route 213 and Valor Lakefront...)
Well, I'd say we should have a Slogan Moment up in here before we end this chapter! But, on whom should we execute this Slogan Moment...? Hey, how about Fisherman Kenneth? I mean, he's the closest one left...

Slogan Moment #3: Cryst vs. Fisherman Kenneth
Part 1: Remoraid I
Cryst gets sent out – "CapitalOne: What's in your wallet?"
Cryst OHKOs with Grass Knot – "Yu-gi-oh Abridged! It stays crunchy, even in milk!"
Part 2: Remoraid II
Cryst uses Grass Knot – "Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination!"
Part 3: Gyarados
Cryst uses Grass Knot – "In another few hours, the sun will rise!"
Cryst uses Grass Knot again – "Great cheese comes from happy cows. Happy cows come from California."
Unfortunately, this moment ends with Cryst's untimely death and Dice's finishing off the Gyarados.

So, that was this chapter's Slogan Moment. Sorry about getting Cryst killed; it was mostly RNG's fault. You see, Cryst had 83 HP at the time. Gyarados' first Thrash did 41. To my surprise, the next Thrash did more than 41. Besides, Monferno isn't the quickest or most powerful thing in the universe.
(finds TM40 Aerial Ace and realizes that everyone on my team can learn it, even AFive for goodness' sake)
Well, there was one in particular at whom I was looking, and that one is =(. Thanks for the surprise, though, AFive. Past that, I've finally made it to Pastoria! AFive got heads, thank goodness, so I can exploit her Shock Wave in Wake's gym whenever necessary! There's something else, too...
(promptly teaches =( Vacuum Wave over Hyper Beam and teaches Dice Air Slash over Wish)
Yeah, I decided that Wish wasn't worth it because I have healing items and Cinco probably won't need them as a Weavile. Past that, there's one more Route left to explore before Wake: Route 212. AFive got heads, so I'll grind her up to speed there.

Scientist Shaun: Oh, here comes a nice-looking Trainer. This is worth evaluation.​

...Pretty gay.

Policeman Danny: Your whole atmosphere is shady. Cooperate in this investigation!​

You know, something’s wrong with your logic, buddy. Here, you're basically saying, "Hey, this guy is pretty ambiguous! Let's invite him to cooperate in our investigation for no reason!"

Policeman Danny (after defeat): Defeated by sneakiness...​

You call a Monferno's constantly using Mach Punch (and an accidental Grass Knot) sneakiness? I guess not only your logic but your sense of judgement is out of whack. Yes, I spelled it "judgement." The other spelling ("judgment") just looks horribly wrong. I mean, the extra "e" actually makes the word look pronounceable. Think about it, looking at "judgement," you could easily tell that it's pronounced "judj-ment," but looking at "judgment," you'd be like, "How the crap do I pronounce this word? Like 'augment' but replacing the 'au' with 'jud?'" Honestly, whoever dared to corrupt the spelling of this word really needs to re-establish his or her "judgement" of words.
Past that rant, I suddenly have the urge to treat Cryst as my "handicapped NFE," as I did with Bidoof in my first Pearl scramble and Mudkip in my Emerald Mono-Water scramble (though I was forced to keep the latter at the highest level). Therefore, I will have Cryst be at a higher level than all of my other Scramblemons so that he will be able to live up to their standards. This decision is also because it doesn't boast anything over the other members except for its dual STABs and mixed capabilities. I'm not trying to offend or to express any dissatisfaction about Cryst; I'm just saying, he's just not as good as the others.
Another thing: why do all the police officers in this game always carry a Hoothoot and a Machop? It's probably because Hoothoot represents monitoring one's surroundings at night and Machop represents the brute force that a cop uses to apprehend criminals. Symbolism or not, I just find it weird, that's all.
(one Route 212 later)
All right, now let's clear out Wake's gym!
(gets Henry'd before entering)
Why, oh why, oh why...
(promptly defeats him, barely failing to level up AFive in the process)
Well, that's just magnificent. All right, now let's clear out Wake's gym!

Guy with sunglasses in front of the gym: I'd say you've got guts if you try to face down Water types with Fire- or Ground-type Pokémon!​

Funny, I was just thinking of doing that with Cryst, seeing how he and AFive are the only two of my Scramblemons who have super-effective attacks against Water-types.
(one slew of Gym Trainers later)
Okay, so now everything in my team has exceeded level 33 and Cryst has reached level 35. You know, I really didn't need to do that Rare Candy thing after all. Sorry, guys; I really need to learn a lesson in counting my chickens before they hatch. Anyway, I have 45 Moomoo Milks, so fainting shouldn't be too much of a problem (barring 2HKOs and Cinco not having any more than 5 items; I probably won't use Cinco in this battle anyway, though). Now, enough gab. Let's fight Jack Blue...I mean, Wake!

=( vs. Gyarados
I start with Swords Dance, as per the restriction, and Gyarados uses Waterfall, which is a 2HKO. Aerial Ace is also a 2HKO and =( goes down.

AFive vs. Gyarados
Shock Wave kills. Need I say more?

Dice vs. Floatzel
Ice Fang...why didn’t I think of that? "Dice flinched!" Are you f***ing kidding me? (uses a Hyper Potion) Then, Ice Fang takes Dice down without any mercy.

Cinco vs. Floatzel
Hey, I said "probably," okay? Aqua Jet looks like a 3HKO and so does Night Slash. The retarded weasel Floatzel uses Aqua Jet again and gets Rock Smashed into Sitrus recovery. Aqua Jet Kos even though it's never done 34 damage until then.

AFive vs. Floatzel
Crunch fails to OHKO and Shock Wave finishes the annoying weasel.

AFive vs. Quagsire
Last resort Flash maneuver actually causes Quagsire to miss with Rock Tomb (herp-derp). AFive uses Flash again, but Quagsire hits. Fortunately, AFive remains at 2 HP after the Derp Rock Tomb. Finally, AFive uses a last resort Reflect maneuver, but it turns out that Quagsire has Mud Shot.

Cryst vs. Quagsire
Grass Knot OHKOs, thankfully.


Fen Badge GET!!! I can finally use Surf! Unfortunately, though I'll need an HM slave to do it, as you can see by my team's slight lack of aquatic beings. In other news, Henry has just reported a Grunt in front of the Great Marsh babbling about a bomb and whatnot, so that must be where we're going next. However, I've already written too much at this point (too much for Notepad to take, anyway), so I'll end the chapter here. Until next time!

Dice the male Togekiss (Lv.33)
Bashful, Serene Grace
- Air Slash
- Substitute
- Metronome
- Ancientpower

Even though it did so much for me last chapter, I'm afraid that Dice is starting to "die" on me. (gets hit by two rotten tomatoes) I guess it's because it's not cut out to be a part of the offensive battlefield that this game is starting to become. Hopefully, I'll have better luck with Metronome in the later chapters because Metronome is probably the only thing it will be able to use before it gets annihilated.

Cinco the male Weavile (Lv.35)
Hasty, Pressure
- Night Slash
- Icy Wind
- Cut
- Rock Smash

I didn't get to see much of Cinco this chapter due to the Rare Candy situation. Icy Wind didn't help much with the entry of Night Slash, but I'm sure it will have its uses in the later stages of the game. Unfortunately, its top-class frailty will mean that it won't be doing much before it faints and Torment will further prevent it from doing much.

AFive the female Mr. Mime (Lv.34)
Rash, Filter
- Psybeam
- Shock Wave
- Flash
- Reflect

AFive's restrictions are quite bothersome, but I'm very glad that I got her with Filter, because she wouldn't have survived Floatzel's Crunch otherwise. I'm also glad to have taught her Shock Wave because Wake's gym would've been a much greater pain if I hadn't and that Floatzel would've swept my team. I'm also glad because luigiowns told me that AFive could set up its own Safeguard to fight in a tails area and, due to that, you'll see me complaining a lot less about getting tails.

=( the female Scyther (Lv.33)
Jolly, Technician
- Vacuum Wave
- Swords Dance
- Aerial Ace
- Rock Smash

This thing is much of a powerhouse. Being obligated to use Swords Dance every time it gets sent out is a double-edged "sword." (gets hit by three rotten tomatoes) Its odds of dying are pretty high due to its frailty and many weaknesses, but when it gets a Swords Dance in, don't go out messing with it unless your name is Gyarados. It also gets Fly+Fight coverage, which is unresisted notwithstanding Rotom and Zapdos, who are not trainer-owned in any way whatsoever.

Cryst the male Monferno (Lv.35)
Rash, Blaze
- Grass Knot
- Mach Punch
- Flame Wheel
- Taunt

Like in chapter 2, Cryst was actually a great help in this chapter. If not for him, I would've been helpless against Maylene's Lucario. Its Grass Knot is also favorable, having OHKO'd Quagsire before my would-have-been defeat against Wake. Too bad it got KO'd during its Slogan Moment in this chapter. Anyway, it's good to have Cryst around, no matter how many reasons I have to insult it.

Chapter 5: The Fifth

So, the day is July 12, 2012, and I'm finally getting around to posting the fifth chapter of this scramble. The reason why I haven't been doing this scramble lately is because I got a new laptop computer recently and have been using it most profitably. I also went on a trip back to my homeland, Canada, for two weeks. The reason for my sudden continuation? The Internet stopped working.
Anyway, on to the scramble. So, last time, I recruited a great member in =( the Scyther and got everybody to evolve. What more can I say? Now, Henry, who is currently trying to be cool by hiding behind the Croagunk billboard, said that there was a Galactic member near the Great Marsh who was planning to plant a bomb…or something along those lines. So, I attempt to head into the Great Marsh, and…

Henry: What am I, chopped liver? Don't forget I'm here, too!​

Nobody can forget what's behind the Croagunk billboard… Also, chopped liver? What kind of analogy is that?

Wake: So, where's this Galac…(explosion)​

…and there goes the boom. So, a bomb broke out in the Great Marsh with the push of a button and Wake decides to check out the aftermath while I go after the Galactic Grunt. Hooray; we're about to battle! But, not before Looker randomly shows up! He seems to be late to the party, but realizes every detail of what just happened. How weird. On an unrelated note, here's the Grammar Nazi Nitpick of the Day. (Yes, I'm making this official as well)

Looker: The man, who I have seen running away, he was the bearer of the bomb!​

Well, actually, I have two nitpicks about that phrase:
1. Whom, not who.
2. That "he" is fairly unnecessary.
With those nitpicks out of the way, Looker tries to pursue the demolition coward before I do the same. A few seconds later, Looker is busy interviewing people while I conclude the pursuit with a battle, as I mentioned earlier!
(It turns out that he has just one Croagunk)
Wow. If that's not anticlimactic, I don't know what is. No wonder this dude was running away; if you can't put up a fight, the only thing to do is run. That's common sense, really. Now, after this dude gets beaten and mutters his resentments, he heads off and Cynthia comes in. After a brief review talk, Henry comes in, saying the explosion in the Great Marsh was no more harmful than a warning burst and going off to make Team Galactic pay for what they've done. After that, she recommends that I use a SecretPotion (spelled that way because of the 12 character limit) on the Psyducks blocking access to the northern side of Route 210…

…which I shall do after a 364 day hiatus. Yep. The time I wrote the previous bit and the time I'm writing this text right now are exactly a year minus a day apart! Man, that's a lot of time I've spent on not this. All right, enough about me. Let's feed the Psyducks!
(one SecretPotion later, all the Psyducks are suddenly cured of their "chronic headaches")
Thinking about it, how would one potion work on 4 Psyducks? How would you know the correct dosage? Cynthia doesn't disclose that information. Ah, well. That sort of complicated stuff is best kept non-canon. Speaking of Cynthia…
(she suddenly appears)

Cynthia: Oh, good. You used the SecretPotion I gave you.​

Where were you hiding?! Well, I guess you'd expect someone dressed in all black to stalk you from beneath the shadows. I shouldn't be surprised. Anyway, she gives me another recommendation—rather, an errand—to deliver an Old Charm to her grandmother in Celestic Town. That means we get to see the other side of Route 210, where I would've gotten the Shiny Stone if not for the "all Pokémon must be fully evolved after the 5th gym" restriction. Anyway, glad I brought a Defog slave because the route would've been a royal pain in the keister otherwise. Now, I don't think I mentioned this in the prior update, but I got heads for Route 210. You probably know what that means by now.

Ninja Boy Brennan: I am one of the Ninja Trio! Being discovered means I must battle!​

You say you were discovered? You popped out as I walked by you. You made yourself discovered. Hmm…what is this déjà vu…? (thinks back to the Looker moment in Chapter 1) Anyway, I think I'll get the obligatory Slogan Moment in before I forget.

Slogan Moment #4: Cryst vs. Ninja Boy Brennan
Part 1: Zubat
Cryst gets sent out - "Like a good neighbor, StateFarm may occasionally be there, but probably only to stab you in the face."
Cryst uses Flame Wheel - "I am a pirate, you are a pirate, we are all pirates for piracy"
(side note: crit Air Cutter OFC)
Cryst uses Flame Wheel, KOing the Zubat - "All I want from you is to stop haxing me"
Part 2: Skorupi
Cryst uses Flame Wheel - "Please OHKO or I will screw the rules!" (it doesn't)
Cryst finishes Skorupi - "Screw the rules, I have money!"

Man, Cryst is weaker than I remember. Wait…Level 36, that means…OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CLOSE COMBAT
(immediately replaces Taunt)

Now I won't be stuck using petty Flame Wheel all the time! And, if I ever want Taunt again, I have a TM in reserve…not that I'll ever need it.
Now, Ninja Boy #2 says the exact same thing as the previous dude, but his name is Fabian. I've heard of the name Fabio, but Fabian? That's kinda weird. Anyway, he had 2 Croagunks, who, like Zubat and Skorupi, just won't die to one Flame Wheel! So bothersome.
Ninja Boy #3 (I think Bruce was his name) leads off with the usual phrase, but with a follow up?
"But how did you discover me? Don't tell me you're a ninja, too!"
No, I'm not a ninja, but to be honest, you were on the receiving end of the discovery. Anyway, all he had was a Stunky, which got clean OHKO'd by Close Combat (refer to the Kuro Usagi image above for my reaction).
Now I'm at the northern part of Route 210. Glad I brought my Defog slave. Clear the fog, birdy!
(he promptly does so)
Isn't it nice to have a bunch of pixels that will do your bidding without any objections, no matter how immoral your bidding is? Man, I'm so bad. Anyway, time for a non-canon stroll through the rest of Route 210. However, I will provide you with this little bit…
You see, against Cool Couple Zac and Jen, I wondered, "Wouldn't it suck if Dice pulled Explosion using Metronome?" (I led off with Dice and =( the Scyther against the Gyarados and Raichu) and guess what happened? JUST THAT. And, unfortunately, it killed everything BUT GYARADOS. FATHERMUCKER. And, despite all my rage, I am just a man with a crystal monkey in a cage (even though I'm not sure if Cryst has anything to do with crystals). Speaking of Cryst, he's level 39, but I plan to get him to 40 before I train anything else.

Anyway (man, if I had a dollar for every time I've said "anyway" in all of my prose updates), I finally made it to Celestic Town, which took longer than I thought it would because I keep overestimating Cryst, thinking it has the exact sweeping power of an Infernape. I was, how you say, "dead" wrong.
(rotten tomatoes)
All right, so I try to get to the middle of the town, but this old lady (who I presume is Cynthia's grandma) interrupts me talking about an odd spaceman who plans on blowing up the town. Obviously, since this is a cliché kid's game where a hero stops a villain, we have to stop this spaceman! That's all well and good, but I have one quick question: why would you blow a place up just because it's "insignificant?" Is it just a ruse to hide the truth? Not a very good ruse if you ask me. Besides, the truth will be canon eventually, so why bother hiding it? Anyway, this guy was a joke, except that his Golbat lived on 1 FREAKING HP after Cryst used Flame Wheel twice!!! The smidgens, I tell you! oiajipdfhaiuenrwauienrasmdzihfiwehriuwa;fdsjgal;dfjs;dhawe
Now, the old lady comes over and thanks me for my heroic deed and takes the Old Charm from me, which she says is in honor of Arceus. Then comes some lore-based exposition that bears little meaning to the game as a whole. Oh, and…Cyrus randomly bursts in and eventually challenges me. But, well, Scyther sweep. What can I say?
On a more important note, Cyrus talks about bringing Palkia and Dialga together, uh-oh…and, even more importantly, I get HM03 Surf! I might have to go get a Pelipper if I want to have Surf and Fly on the same HM slave, which, obviously, I do want. Good news, Pelipper is in this game; bad news, I'll have to wait until the next town to use it.
Anyway, when I exited the ruins, guess what I saw? None other than the sexy stalker in black herself, Cynthia. She tells me…nothing important, just to go to Canalave from Jubilife to look up ancient history or whatever. But, how do I get there without a Pelipper? Oh, wait, I have a Bibarel. I'll use that. But, before I leave, I'll pay a visit to the Pokétch company to get one of the most self-explanatory apps ever, the Marking Map…which I am actually never going to use. Oh, and I should go buy some Repels if I ever get around to it. Anyway, on with the seriously non-canon exploration of Route 218 (heads for AFive).

At the end of the road, while I attempted to return to the town, some dude I don't know said "Long time, no see," and claimed to be Dawn's father. Why has this been non-canon? Why does some guy say "Long time, no see," when our relationship is totally non-canon?! Oh, the sense this game doesn't make. Anyway, he upgrades our Pokédex to show different genders. Interesting, but not too useful in this challenge.
Now that I've reached Canalave (heads for AFive), I know from prior experience that when we cross the bridge, we will see a face that hasn't appeared since the beginning of the chapter, and I think you all know full well whose face it is. That's right, it's that of none other than Henry, who, thankfully, has finally learned to control his bumping into me.
Staraptor dies to AFive's crit Shock Wave, and that opens up an opportunity for =( to set up a Swords Dance in Heracross's face (taking 56/98 damage from an Aerial Ace) and proceed to sweep…maybe. That depends if she can kill Empoleon. Aaaaand…

NOPE, it lives on 1/4 HP, and =('s sweep is stopped by a Bubblebeam. Worse, Dice tries to finish the Empoleon with Metronome, pulling out none other than SELFDE-FREAKING-STRUCT, the worst smidgen's bane of anything ever. Another smidgen moment, coming down to AFive vs. Roserade, Roserade lives Psybeam at 1/7 HP. Ugh, screw these smidgens on smidgens on smidgens on smidgens on smidgens on…well, you get the idea.
Anyway, after I beat Henry, (what did you expect?) he says some bullcrap like "You need to train on Iron Island" and "Oh, I'm gonna become the best," probably because he's so butthurt over losing. I mean, that's what I do when I'm feeling butthurt. I try to find a good quality of mine and go, "Oh, I have this." It's a pretty bad trait, honestly, especially when you bring up something that does not compare to the situation at hand.
Ranting aside, it's off to Iron Island (tails for AFive) for me, because no amount of training will never hurt (even though Henry didn't have to go and be a jerk about it). There, I meet Riley at the entrance, and he gives me HM04 Strength. After that, he gives me the choice to train with him, and how could I refuse? But, first, let me stock up on items real quick.
(does so)
Okay, my body is ready.

Camper Lawrence: Yeah, I like to camp. So what?​

It's a good thing you're not a sniper, because if you were, I might have had to break you just for saying that. Oh, yeah, and what's with all the NPCs talking about camping and picknicking when there are no materials around for such activity? Heh, Pokémon "logic" I guess.
Anyway, after a non-canon training session with Riley, I find out that Team Galactic is messing with Iron Island for some odd reason to which I paid no attention and, in the process of beating two semi-awful Grunts, realize that Dice REALLY likes hurting itself in confusion. Also, it's really annoying that when Riley offers you his Riolu egg, you absolutely cannot say no, even if your inventory is full. What is the point in that? Sure, it's a "token of friendship," but I won't even be using it, so what's the point? (Well, it's not like he knows that; I mean, the way Gamefreak programmed him, he would assume that you'd accept it without hesitation.) Man, why do I always go off on logic-questioning tangents in the middle of a game where logic rarely applies? I'm such a realist, aren't I…
Moving on, the gym is the last thing we'll deal with in this chapter, so let's get that over with. Everyone is going to have a bad time here; AFive because she gets shut down by Steelix, Cinco because Rock Smash is his only countermeasure and he is under Torment, =( because she also only has Rock Smash (as well as that huge Rock weakness), Dice because he has to rely on the serendipity of Metronome to hit Steels, and Cryst because he's weak to Ground and…well, just flat-out weak. Oh, boy, can't wait for this one to end.

Thinking about it, I realize that I wasn't as verbose this update as I was in former updates, so I'll sorta make up for it by describing the battles that happened prior to the Gym Leader.
First battle, AFive versus Steelix, I set up Reflect to mitigate any potential damage, while he uses Torment. Obviously, I don't want to alternate between Psybeam and the useless Shock Wave, because that's all I can do in order to follow restriction #3, so I switch into Cinco. The only thing that scared me was that he used Screech, but at least he didn't attack AT ALL. Geez, what a terrible battler.
Second battle is against a Worker named Gary (motherf***ing Oak?) and his Magnemite. I lead off with AFive (again) and decide to spam Psybeam. Looking like a 3HKO, that's good news, but Spark…does negligible damage, but it paralyzes on its second use. OFC, full para before my final Psybeam, and I finally take the thing out.
Third battle is another Worker with three Magnemites, all of which get 2HKO'd by Psybeam. It's a grand exchange of Psybeam and Spark, except for the last one, who straight-out used Thunder Wave (I don't get why they don't do that in the first place). At any rate, it was pretty easy, and the same outcome as last time happened—AFive is down ~50 HP and paralyzed. Nothing I can't heal up, though.
Fourth battle is against Ace Trainer Cesar…and now I know what Gamefreak did with the instance of the word "noob" that was supposed to be after Oreburgh Gate. First (and last) thing I encounter…Scizor. Even with Reflect and Filter, X-scissor looks like a 2HKO. Switch to Cryst and annihilate the thing with a Flame Wheel.
Fifth battle is—wouldn't you know it—another Worker with Magnemites. Psybeam barely misses out on the 2HKO on the first Magnemite, but thankfully, AFive does not get paralyzed. As a sort of vengeance maneuver (I suppose), the next Magnemite uses Thunder Wave as it comes in. Thankfully, though, no full para is involved this time. Also, just noticed the Magnemite gave 667 experience points. Almost satanic, huh?
Sixth battle—another Black Belt with a Steelix. I Reflect and he Screeches. I don't know if he has Torment, but I don't want to risk it, so I'll switch out to Cinco. He uses Sandstorm on the switch—not too big of a deal. I alternate between Icy Wind and Rock Smash as he continues his non-attacking routine…until he uses Iron Tail…

…and misses.

One last Icy Wind, and that's a dead Steelix. But, guess what comes out next? That's right. Another Steelix. I send out =( in hopes that she'll 2HKO at +2. Unfortunately, she just barely misses out, but fortunately, I get a Defense drop! Man, I'm feeling lucky tonight.
Seventh battle, Ace Trainer Breanna, who has a Bronzor. I'm getting the heck out of dodge. Cryst time. Flame Wheel is a clean 2HKO, while Extrasensory is a 4HKO at a rough estimate. Ergo, that's a dead Bronzor. Another Bronzor comes out (come on, guys, is variety a foreign concept to you?) and suffers the same fate. Guess what her third Pokémon is. That's right, another freaking Bronzor. Staying in, but I'll have to heal up. Thankfully, I bought those dozens of milk back at Route 210. Long story short, those Bronzors are toast.

This means that all the Gym Trainers are gone, and the Gym Leader comes next. This time around, I will provide a video as well as the usual text-based breakdown of what happens. Why a video, you may ask? It came to my mind one day that I would like to share the live footage so that the viewers know that I'm not violating the Scramble rules or anything like that.

Cryst vs. Magneton
Close Combat is a clean OHKO.

=( vs. Steelix
=( Sword Dances (as per the restriction) and Steelix uses Sandstorm. =( uses Rock Smash, which is a 3HKO prior to the Defense drop, and Steelix crits with Ice Fang. =( lives the Ice Fang and two Sandstorm hits at 4 HP, but fails to fell the beast with her Rock Smash and succumbs to a Flash Cannon.

Cinco vs. Steelix
Byron uses a Full Restore as Cinco uses Rock Smash. From then on, he alternates between Icy Wind and Rock Smash as Steelix spams Earthquake for the kill.

Cryst vs. Steelix
Cryst finishes Steelix with a well-timed Flame Wheel.

Cryst vs. Bastiodon
I had my doubts, but Close Combat was a clean OHKO. The power!

And, that's the end of that. Mine Badge GET! I really feel bad that Cryst had to take most of the credit, but hey, that's how it is.

Dice the Male Togekiss (Lv.38)
Bashful, Serene Grace
- Air Slash
- Substitute
- Metronome
- Ancientpower

Ah, Dice. Your days were, how you say, numbered. (rotten tomato) Okay, okay. Calling upon Explosion and Selfdestruct when we need it the least. You had your moments, but all in all, you were just another brick in the wall, and definitely not the cornerstone.

=( the female Scyther (Lv.38)
Jolly, Technician
- Vacuum Wave
- Swords Dance
- Rock Smash
- Aerial Ace

Sure, I love this thing as a sweeper, but it was practically useless against Byron's Steelix. It did a good job of reducing its HP and Defense, though.

Cinco the male Weavile (Lv.37)
Hasty, Pressure
- Night Slash
- Icy Wind
- Cut
- Rock Smash

Well, not much to say about this one. He reduced Byron's Steelix into KO range for Cryst to finish the job. Not much else, really.

AFive the female Mr. Mime (Lv.37)
Rash, Filter
- Psybeam
- Shock Wave
- Flash
- Reflect

Man, I gotta teach this thing Safeguard as soon as I can. What will it do if it encounters a tails zone? Fall behind, that's what. Still, I gotta give it credit for taking out 80% of the Gym Trainers.

Cryst the male Monferno (Lv.42)
Rash, Blaze
- Grass Knot
- Mach Punch
- Flame Wheel
- Close Combat

This guy went from disappointing me with smidgens on smidgens on smidgens et cetera to straight-up pimp-slapping Byron. Close Combat made ALL the difference in terms of power, and it was hard to believe that it took out Magneton and Bastiodon IN ONE HIT. Sure, it's STAB and it's Fighting (2x on Magneton, 4x on Bastiodon) but it's a FREAKING MONFERNO. Not the most potent offensive threat if you ask me.

Chapter 6: Dressing Lightly in the Snowstorm of Defying Logic

Last time on some update saga with a small audience, Cryst kicked (er…punched? I don't know what Close Combat involves) the crap out of Byron! Of course, Cinco and =( fought valiantly, but…um, I'll stop there. Now, time to take the dizziness-inducing scenic route out of the Canalave Gym! And, guess who meets us at the entrance? Can't guess? (Spoiler alert: it's Henry.) So, as usual, he talks down to me even though he hasn't won once (nope, never had to soft-reset) and invites me to the library. You know what this means…that's right, plot development!
blah blah blah evolution blah blah mature blah blah legendary blah blah mirage Pokémon blah blah undertaking blah blah bridge blah blah Pokédex blah blah split up blah blah blah
So…on to the important stuff. While Dawn and Henry are dispatched to Lake Verity and Lake Acuity, respectively, Rowan sends me to Lake Valor. Aaaaaand, just as he mentions Lake Valor, an explosion occurs at just that place! Of course, it will ultimately be left up to me to investigate (because that's just how these games work, am I right? Nobody else is on the case, just the main character). So, without further ado, off to Lake Valor! But first…
(buys a TM of Safeguard and teaches it to AFive over Flash)
I only needed Flash for the Beauty contest. It's not gonna be all that useful otherwise. At any rate, I don't have to worry too much about tails areas anymore! (and Lake Valor just happens to be one of them)
So, when I arrive at the Lake, I encounter nothing but Magikarp and Plasma…I mean, Galactic Grunts. Sorry, I've been doing too much Volt White monotyping lately (I've already completed MonoGrass and MonoFire, and I am currently doing MonoWater). But, that doesn't quite matter to you, does it?
At any rate, just Grunts and Magikarp. That leads me to ask…how did the poor things even survive the bomb? I mean, they're freaking Magikarp. I'd give a Master Ball to see one of those survive an Explosion (in 4th gen of course).

Grunt: We just set off the Galactic Bomb! The blast force was phenomenal!​

Apparently not "phenomenal" enough to crush the innards of a freaking Magikarp. Oh, whom am I kidding? It's a video game. Logic hardly applies, if at all.
Okay, on to not questioning video game logic. As you may or may not know, there is a cave in the center of Lake Valor which, obviously, I have no choice but to investigate. Whoever was outside the cave told me valuable information about abducting legendaries or something like that. Within the cave…is one of the Galactic Commanders…and this one has a blue cat-shaped hair or hat or whatever. I seriously wonder what he did to get his hair like that…or is it actually a cat head molded into a wig through taxidermy?

Oh, and…=( lived a crit Rock Tomb from a Bronzor. Just thought I'd say that. Sad (no pun intended) thing is, though, she barely failed to 2HKO with +2 Rock Smash (which I assume the second hit was min damage because the first hit practically reduced him to half) and died to Rock Tomb (comboed with Toxic damage). Fortunately, I had AFive to finish the job after setting up a Safeguard for free (moral of the story: don't. use. Rock. Tomb. Ever. (translation: it missed))
Now, nobody told me where I'm supposed to go next, so I'll just go to Lake Verity to meet up with Rowan and Dawn, I suppose. And, my instinct is right. Rowan, who is being restrained by some random Grunt, tells me to go help Dawn, and, naturally, I will be compelled to perform such an act. AFive's roll for Lake Verity was tails, so AFive will have to Safeguard before attacking.
(AFive reaches level 39 and wants to learn Psychic!)

Psybeam? No, no, no, no, no, PsyCHIC! After all, it's more chic than just a beam! (ugh, that was terrible, especially since "chic" is pronounced like "sheek" and "Psychic" is pronounced like "sighkick"). Whatever. So…at the end of the two Double Battles I just fought (which I didn't mention…I like to keep things non-canon sometimes) are Mars and Dawn, the latter deplorably standing there and doing nothing else. So, of course, it's up to me to fight Mars, which is practically a =( sweep, aside from the stupid Bronzor (wouldn't you know it…at least it doesn't have Rock Tomb).
That aside, it's time to head over to Lake Acuity to see how Henry's doing (probably miserably because Mars did say they already captured Uxie).
OH, I just realized something. Cinco can learn Surf. I totally didn't know that Weavile could learn Surf. I could delete Rock Smash, but eh, Cinco's Special Attack is terrible (I mean, 51? Come on) and I already defeated Byron, so it means nothing to me. Aaaand…I just realized that I haven't fought the Trainers west of Celestic Town. Lemme fix that.
(one Noctowl, three (lucky) Bronzors, one TM77 Psych Up, three Fighting-types, and two Poison-types later…)
And now, a non-canon stroll through Mount Coronet takes us to a snowy route called Route 216. I can just feel the icy chill of Candice's Gym coursing through my veins. Which makes me wonder, how can she survive the harsh winters that raised her while wearing a brown miniskirt? That just defies all logic. Back on track, AFive got tails for Route 216. Oh, and on this route, ships just got real. First thing I encounter is a Level 39 Ambipom (on par with my lowest level) that carries Screech and U-turn, which means that AFive got straight-up floored before she could even make a move. I guess that means I have to rely on =( to come in, SD up, and wreck face.
(just that happens; not even Porygon2 can take an Aerial Ace)
Man, it sure is a good thing I have plenty of Revives; otherwise, I'd have to head all the way back to the Pokémon Center in Celestic Town or wait until the rest house to use AFive again. Frankly, I think I'd rather respond to my level OCD (that keeps telling me to keep everything except Cryst at the same level) than keep 1 of my 10 Revives intact. Also, why does every lead in this route have Screech?! It's really bugging me!
All right, after a grueling hell of some of the most annoyingly difficult Trainers I've encountered so far (mainly due to the ability of everything to live at or below 1/16 HP before dying to Hail), I've finally found the rest house! Maybe I should've done that earlier to save myself some trouble…and some items.
Now, the next thing I encounter after the rest house is Route 217, the route where you can't see anything because of a snowstorm, where the first thing I encounter is Maylene! She says that she also was off to Snowpoint and claimed that she could use Fly and is walking instead, but I'm calling shenanigans because Gamefreak hadn't (and still hasn't) introduced a Fighting/Flying-type yet. Now, she also says this line here:

Maylene: I'm used to the cold because I go barefoot and lightly dressed.​

That sort of explains the conundrum I posed earlier, what with Candice being able to wear a miniskirt in the snow. And then I advance through the text a bit more…

Maylene: Achoo! / Oh, that was nothing. Really, I'm not cold at all.​

…Maybe not. Seriously, it doesn't make sense for people to be walking through harsh snowstorms so lightly clothed. It'd make even less sense if I were the female protagonist and my legs weren't freezing to death. But, like I say, it's a video game—logic rarely, if ever, applies.
Cutting right back to the chase, AFive got heads, so no Safeguard here. And, before I forget, it's time for another Slogan Moment with our good Byron-owning buddy Cryst!

Slogan Moment #5: Cryst vs. Ace Trainer Dalton
Part 1: Electabuzz
Cryst gets sent out - "Cry for the Indians!"
Cryst uses Close Combat - "Falcon PUNCH!"
(side note: and again, he lives on one pixel of HP, to where he needs Hail to kill him)
Part 2: Magmar (sitting at 18 HP, but I'm feeling lucky)
Cryst uses Close Combat again - "She's up all night 'til the sun, I'm up all night to get some, she's up all night for good fun, I'm up all night to get lucky"
But, of course, the Slogan Moment ends with a 3-pixel survival and a Smog finish.

Man, Cryst went from disappointment to ownage and back to disappointment (although maybe I'm expecting too much out of him). I guess I'll have AFive finish whatever's left of the job—yes, that little pixel of HP that should've been long gone. Oh, you know what? Forget what I said about disappointment. Cryst had a battle with Ninja Boy Ethan and walked away living on 7 HP!!! He was confused and thankfully didn't hit himself a second time! What was once a disappointing 3HKO turned into a Blaze-boosted destroyer of worlds (Flame Wheel)!
Now, for the rest of this chapter, I'm going to forget my level OCD and level Cryst up to Level 45 (at the highest) and then focus on =( to get her prepared for her grand solos. And, moving on through the route, we find HM08 Rock Climb! Yeah, some hiker guy dropped it and gave us the Icicle Plate (not that I'll ever use it) for trying to return it.
Wait, I just realized something. Remember the rest house I mentioned earlier? Well, there's an option to talk to the Hiker to restore your Pokémon, and then there's an option to interact with the covers of the bed to restore your Pokémon. That kinda makes me wonder, why are there two options that do the exact same thing? Just to facilitate things, I guess?

Black Belt Luke: I dress light wherever I go! (+ some onomatopoeia…I think it was "Hugh"?)​

Well, here we go again with the light dress in cold weather. You know what? Forget it. Just…forget it. And, of course, after the battle, Luke belts out the obligatory "Achoo!" Really, what are you people doing…
Moving on, that battle was coincidentally just enough to get Cryst to Level 45, so any Trainer encounters beyond that will be attempted Scyther sweeps. It also happened to be the end of the route (i.e. Acuity Lakefront—tails for AFive), where Henry actually didn't fail miserably, contrary to what I had thought, but is actually just initiating his skirmish with Team Galactic, but not before making it painfully obvious that I need the Snowpoint Gym Badge to get to Lake Acuity (because, you know, rocky slopes).
So, after that, nothing's stopping me from reaching Snowpoint City (tails for AFive), home of Candice! Now, the first Ace Trainer I meet says this:

"Brrr… This snowbound town is always freezing cold. / But the spirits of the Trainers and their Pokémon burn hot and bright. / Especially the Gym Leader."​

So that might be the secret to how she survives cold weather while wearing a miniskirt. It may seem farfetched (and rather cheesy), but it's the best theory I've come up with so far.
Anyway, I honestly need to stop questioning the logic of a video game, but at the same time, it's just part of my content. I just don't know what to do. Eh, the only thing I can do right now is challenge the Snowpoint Gym, I suppose. No, but before I do that, I have to take care of something in Oreburgh Gate.
(gets TM31 Brick Break and teaches it to =( over Rock Smash)
And, like Aerial Ace, somehow, everyone on my team, even AFive, can learn it. (side note: geez, how many commas could you put into one sentence? Honestly.) As a side note, I'll give =( the Fist Plate for good measure. Also, there might be a time when I get Brick Break for Cinco, but it is not this time.
Now, let me give you the rundown of what happened in Snowpoint Gym. Note that all battles not mentioned are Scyther sweeps. The Ace Trainer with a Glalie critted =( with an Ice Beam, so I had to go into Cinco to finish the job.
Ace Trainer Sergio, with an Icy Wind Snover and a Sneasel, was another failed sweep. It would've succeeded, because Sneasel went and used Faint Attack (???), but he got a freaking crit. So, like before, I had to go into Cinco to finish the job.
The female Ace Trainer with a Sneasel, a Snorunt, and a Snover would have been swept if I had been wary of Snover carrying Ice Shard. As a side note, I tried to get Cinco to finish the job, but he got haxed to death by the very same Snover (stupid Grasswhistle and its 4+ turn sleep).

Wait, but before I go after Candice, it'd be in my best interest to do some more prior grinding. I feel like Level 42 just won't cut it against Candice. Thankfully, I still haven't gone down the route south of Sandgem, so I'll go that way and try to find some grinding fodder.
(a few levels later…)
Okay, I think Level 45 should be enough. Now, it's Candice time. As I did before, I will provide a video link and a text-based version of the Gym Leader battle. (Spoiler alert: it's a clean sweep.)

=( vs. Sneasel
=( Sword Dances after Sneasel attacks with Ice Shard. Sneasel goes for Aerial Ace, only to be decimated by =('s Brick Break. Let the sweep begin.

=( vs. Froslass
=( outspeeds and Aerial Ace is a clean OHKO.

=( vs. Abomasnow
Aerial Ace is a clean OHKO.

=( vs. Piloswine
Brick Break is a clean OHKO.

Yeah, that Gym Battle turned out to be a lot more anticlimactic than I expected. 3 takes on video, all of them clean sweeps. I really hope Volkner doesn't turn out to be that shabby.


Now, this time, I'll list the Pokémon from MVP to LVP instead of the other way around because…well, =( pretty much swept a majority of this chapter, so it's obviously going to be the MVP.

=( the female Scyther (Lv.46)
Jolly, Technician
- Vacuum Wave
- Swords Dance
- Brick Break
- Aerial Ace

Yep, clean sweep. To be fair, think what would've happened if I hadn't gone down to Route 219 to grind. Also, Brick Break over Rock Smash is quite the advancement.

Cryst the male Monferno (Lv.45)
Rash, Blaze
- Grass Knot
- Mach Punch
- Flame Wheel
- Close Combat

The smidgens (I just now realized that I had spelled it wrong the whole time) strike again. Still, though, that moment with Ninja Boy Ethan was priceless.

Cinco the male Weavile (Lv.40)
Hasty, Pressure
- Night Slash
- Icy Wind
- Cut
- Rock Smash

Still the same old moveset, but I might replace Cut and Rock Smash next chapter. It did the honors of finishing =('s work when a Gym Trainer sweep failed.

Dice the male Togekiss (Lv.41)
Bashful, Serene Grace
- Air Slash
- Substitute
- Metronome
- Ancientpower

No surprise Selfdestructs this time. Actually, I'd say Dice did an impressive job at what it was designated to do (even though it couldn't flinch hax a Graveler to death with Air Slash).

AFive the female Mr. Mime (Lv.40)
Rash, Filter
- Psychic
- Safeguard
- Shock Wave
- Reflect

You'd think that with a better STAB this thing would grow on me, but nope. AFive is just the same old dog with no new tricks. I may teach it Thunderbolt and/or Signal Beam, even if it takes a trade to and back from SoulSilver.

Chapter 7: No mere title can explain this chapter

All right, before I get into plot-related matters, I just want to say that I changed Cinco's moveset. Brick Break was the first thing that came to mind, which I replaced with Rock Smash, and then I was bent on teaching it Ice Punch over Cut, but I was like, "Eh, that's too much BP grinding." Seriously, 64 BP?

So, I actually went and taught it Surf. Remember when I said "it means nothing to me?"

Sure, Cinco's Special Attack is jizz poor, but it's not like I have any other Water-type moves. Besides, I'm not a huge fan of double STAB, and while I know Ice Punch is much better than Icy Wind (on Weavile especially), having the "ultimate five move" as one of its main STABs just makes it more fun.
Oh, yeah, and I also said I was going to teach AFive some new moves…yeah, I totally forgot. Maybe later.

Okay, on to plot-relevant business. Obviously, the first thing to note is that Henry went off to Lake Acuity and we have to go check up on him. Also, forgot about rolls for AFive.
Acuity Lakefront - Heads
Lake Acuity - Tails
Moving on, Henry lost to Jupiter (failed miserably, just as I said last chapter), the latter being all high and mighty whilst giving away the location of the Galactic Headquarters like a dolt, and the former giving a profound speech about how it's not about winning and his new objective is to acquire the strength to stop conflict…or something along those lines. Run-on sentences! They're good stuff.
Without further ado, off I go to Veilstone. In front of the headquarters, there is a guy ranting about antennae. When I talk to him, he goes on about some Clefairy and some Storage Key. I don't give a nut about the Clefairy, but the Storage Key sounds like something I need to get my hands on. Thankfully, our investigator "friend" Looker is on the case and willing to help us get into the warehouse for a sneak attack (because, in his words, "A frontal assault, it is not possible"). After opening the door, Looker goes on ahead and lets us follow him, telling us not to do anything reckless (or something along those lines). Troll maneuver, much? Oh, well. He can disguise himself as a Galactic Grunt at will, so I'll let it slide.
Another thing: AFive's roll for Galactic HQ will be the same as the roll for Veilstone because (in my opinion) it's theoretically still Veilstone. In other words, tails.

Galactic Grunt: Well, what have we here? A Trainer who's lost their way?​

You know what, I'm not even going to correct this "error" anymore because it's so common that I might as well just accept it as the norm. Anyway, a few non-canon Galactic battles and warps later, I find the Galactic Key and some guy telling me where the speech room is (beside the reception counter, I think he said). I figured, "Eh, might as well go check it out." Unfortunately, before that, I got worn down by a double battle with 3 Golbats and a Houndour, the former of which demonstrated perfectly the bad luck of Cryst (critted him twice with Air Cutter). There is a bed in the HQ which you can sleep in (because eff logic, right?), but there is no direct access to it from where you'd go to find Cyrus's "speech room," so I'll go heal in the Pokémon Center instead.
So…of course, all I had to battle was that Scientist before entering the "speech room" I keep bringing up. Yep, 1 PP of Close Combat (or something more complicated) was all I needed. Anyway, Cyrus gives a speech about changing the world and whatnot, and a horde of Galactic Grunts file out without noticing me or Looker on the east side (because again, eff logic, right?). And, right after the speech room, guess what lies ahead…the bed I mentioned earlier. Actually, there are two, but eh, details.
Oh, yeah, and I really need to place more faith in Cryst, but at the same time, be wary of things that resist Close Combat. Really, things like Flame Wheel and Grass Knot are pretty disappointing, but Close Combat floors anything that doesn't resist it (hence why it did so well against Byron). I suppose I'll teach it Fire Blast over Mach Punch (because it's just a Department Store visit away, and priority isn't too useful in-game because of healing items). Sure, I did say I wasn't a fan of double STAB and you think I'd replace Flame Wheel because it's so weak, but I need the abundant PP that Flame Wheel has. Sure, Mach Punch has more, but it's weaker and cannot be boosted by Blaze. I could also teach it Focus Miss (pfft, no).
Speaking of miss, the first time I use Fire Blast, it misses (of course). That's why I didn't even consider Focus Miss (and because it already has Close Combat, which may lower defenses, but it's a worthwhile tradeoff over the accuracy drop). Oh, and when I went to the beds to rest, I examined the right bed, and before it asked me to heal, I found a Poké Doll! Very convenient…and yet very creepy. Now, the Slogan Moment for this chapter will be against Cyrus, so let's get it started in the most emotionless way possible.

Slogan Moment #6: Cryst vs. Galactic Boss Cyrus
Part 1: Sneasel
Cryst gets sent out - "On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed!"
Cryst uses Close Combat after getting Screeched - "Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but this song is stupid…maybe."

Part 2: Crobat
Nope, I'm switching Cryst outta there. I tried to use Cinco, but he fell after getting his speed down to -3.
Cryst gets sent back out - "First a loop and then a line, that is how you make a 9!"
Cryst cleans up with Flame Wheel - "Spoderman, Spoderman, not-so-friendly not-so-neighborhood Spoderman"

Part 3: Honchkrow
Cryst uses Fire Blast, which is a 2HKO prior to Sitrus - "The good ol' hockey game is the best game you can name, and the best game you can name is the good ol' hockey game!"

Aaaaand he just dies to a Drill Peck. He's not to blame, though; Honchkrow is quite the offensive threat (Moxie or not). That means I'll have Dice (who somehow outspeeds, even with a 5 level difference???) clean up…or not. Ancientpower, you disappoint me. AFive, on the other hand, lived a Faint Attack on 7 HP after successfully setting up Safeguard and finished the beast for good with Shock Wave. What a fierce battle, I tell ya wut. Of course, it doesn't go unrewarded as Cyrus gives us a Master Ball! It won't be of any use this playthrough, though.
Anyway, before I move on, I should probably heal up because I'm 70% sure there's a Saturn battle where the 3 fairies are (the connection to Focus Miss's accuracy is entirely coincidential). Aaaaaaaand, yes indeed, there is a Saturn encounter! A Golbat, which Cinco took on one-on-one living on 1 HP with Toxic Poison, a Toxicroak, which Dice beat with a combination of 2/3 HP Water Spout and Air Slash, and a Bronzor, which Cryst took out with his new Fire Blast after missing once (wouldn't you know it).

So, as you should know if you're at all familiar with the DPPt story, my next destination is Mount Coronet (pro tip: it's quicker to access from Oreburgh than from Hearthome, trust me). Also, I should've mentioned this earlier, but the truth is that Cyrus looks down on Team Galactic as a bunch of pawns and just wants this "new world" for himself. Speaking of Team Galactic, I wondered as I was playing Volt White (I know it's not okay to discuss ROMs, but is it at least okay to bring them up?) why all Galactic Grunts (and the other Grunts in the Pokémon universe) have their hair the same color. Two theories behind it: either they were forced to dye their hair or wear a wig as part of their job, or it's entirely a coincidence, most likely the former. Actually, there are many more theories I can think of, like they're all the same family or the hair color was a criterion for joining the team, but those two will suffice for now.
That rantacious paragraph aside, what I decided to do was, instead of just recording the Cyrus battle in the Distortion World, I thought I'd record everything from Spear Pillar to the faceoff with Giratina-O. I also thought I'd end the update here, but I decided to also include Volkner because it's going to be a Scyther sweep, just like before.
Okay, so here's the first video, from Spear Pillar to the end of the Distortion World, just like I said. I definitely did not expect this, but the video is actually 50 minutes long. However, since I'm a nice guy, I will provide a timestamp to Cyrus if you want to skip all the complicated Distortion World bullcrap—34:21

If you want a text-based rundown, the first two Galactic Grunts were a piece of cake, and Mars and Jupiter weren't too bad. Cyrus, on the other hand, was quite the pain. Cinco Brick Breaked Houndoom down to approximately 1/8 HP and died to a Flamethrower, leaving Cryst to clean up. AFive set up Safeguard and Reflect on the incoming Gyarados (I wasn't confident that Shock Wave would take it out) while =( Swords Danced to 2HKO said Gyarados and cleanly OHKO Honchkrow. However, her sweep was stopped by a Crobat and its crit Air Slash. Thankfully, Dice's Ancientpower was a 2HKO and Crobat couldn't do much back. Unfortunately, his last was Weavile, who I thought was going to clean up the rest of my team, but used Ice Punch on Cryst like an idiot and succumbed to a Close Combat. Giratina, I opted to kill rather than catch because I wasn't having much success with catching it. I regret nothing!

Anyway, Cynthia told us to visit Rowan, so let's visit Rowan. He and Dawn congratulate me, and he tells me to head to Sunyshore and go challenge the Pokémon League (though obviously, I have to go through Volkner first). Speaking of Volkner, I did some prior research on Pokéarth, and Volkner does not have any Steel-types. This means that =( can X-scissor all the things, but at an unfortunate price: I'll have to do more BP grinding, be it for Aerial Ace or for Brick Break. I mean, even though Scyther has a respectable attack stat with an immediate +2 under its belt, non-STAB Brick Break just won't cut it. Sure, I could also teach it Bug Bite, but it's only a 10 BP advancement and would require a tutor, which would mean more BP grinding. And, like I said…

By the way, AFive got heads for Route 222 and tails for Sunyshore. Oh, and I hate to say it, but Cinco has really been beginning to die on me. He doesn't OHKO anything and he's frail to the point of dying to any physical attack (namely Gyarados' Aqua Tail). I'm trying to get everyone except Cryst even at Level 46, but those qualities are just stopping it like Gandalf. I mean, it just hit Level 45 when all the Trainers on Route 222 were taken down. Thankfully, though, I stopped at Route 220 while grinding =( on Route 219, so that opens up another grinding opportunity.
(one grinding session later)
Oh, looky what I found on the very same route! None other than TM81 X-scissor! I thought I had it already, but apparently not. Sure, Scyther learns it by level-up anyway, but I just found it to be humorously coincidental.
So, I arrive at Sunyshore, and the first thing I see is Flint, who approaches me and tells me to give the Gym Leader a battle that will reignite his passion for battling. I really don't think a Scyther sweep will do the job…but, well, I'm obligated by Scramble law to sweep with Scyther, so…Volkner can just suck it up once it happens (IF it happens; I'm not feeling too confident, knowing that =( didn't OHKO Luxray with a +2 (or was it +1? I don't remember if it had Intimidate) Brick Break).
While browsing through the Gym, I found out that Safeguard does not protect from Static (at least in 4th gen it doesn't), which is really stupid in my opinion. I say if you're gonna protect from status, do it right.

Right, so…here's the battle against Volker, as per usual with a video and a text-based rundown.

=( vs. Jolteon
=( Swords Dances and Jolteon uses Thunder Wave. I heal paralysis and Charge Beam is a clean 2HKO. I then proceed to OHKO with X-scissor.

=( vs. Raichu
=( clean OHKOs with X-scissor, completely devoid of Static.

=( vs. Luxray
=('s X-scissor leaves the fortunate Luxray at one red pixel of HP, while Luxray's Ice Fang leaves =( at 7 HP. He uses a Full Restore, but I opt not to heal and kill it off with 2 X-scissors.

=( vs. Electivire
I remember from prior experience that every Electabuzz in the Gym carried Quick Attack, and I'm not gonna risk it with their papa, even if it means dying to a T-bolt. Fortunately, it doesn't come down to that, and =( lives a crit Quick Attack and OHKOs with X-scissor.

Yep, another sweep, but thankfully not as anticlimactic as the previous. I can assure you, though, I will struggle a lot more against the Elite Four. Unlike in the 6th chapter, though, I will list the Scramblemons from LVP to MVP as I usually did.

Cinco the male Weavile (Lv.47)
Hasty, Pressure
- Night Slash
- Icy Wind
- Surf
- Brick Break

Like I said, it has a hard time OHKOing due to its best moves being Night Slash and non-STAB Brick Break, and it's so frail that there isn't much that it doesn't die to. Might be my overall LVP.

Dice the male Togekiss (Lv.46)
Bashful, Serene Grace
- Air Slash
- Substitute
- Metronome
- Ancientpower

And the lucky move of this chapter is Cross Chop. Yep, he pulled it out twice. I don't remember the first time, but the second time was against one of Volkner's cronies. Being forced to use Metronome is pretty fun, but at the same time, it's not very good from a practical standpoint. I mean, non-STAB Cross Chop coming from its lower attacking stat won't be accomplishing much.

Cryst the male Monferno (Lv.48)
Rash, Blaze
- Grass Knot
- Fire Blast
- Flame Wheel
- Close Combat

Fire Blast and Close Combat annihilate pretty much everything (no wonder Infernape's such a renowned wallbreaker), but Fire Blast has that icky miss chance and thinking up slogans/chants is still driving me nuts.

AFive the female Mr. Mime (Lv.46)
Rash, Filter
- Psychic
- Safeguard
- Shock Wave
- Reflect

You know what I said last chapter? "You'd think that with a better STAB this thing would grow on me, but nope. AFive is just the same old dog with no new tricks." Actually, Psychic is not nearly as disappointing as I thought it was. Shock Wave isn't too bad either, because I used it on a Trainer-owned Gyarados on Route 222 and it just died. On the flip side, it has to set up Safeguard in a tails area, which is really difficult considering its (especially physical) frailty. That HP is just terrible.

=( the female Scyther (Lv.49)
Jolly, Technician
- Vacuum Wave
- Swords Dance
- X-scissor (will re-replace with Brick Break)
- Aerial Ace

Scyther has exceeded my expectations. The pixel that Luxray lived on disappointed me, but not enough to overshadow my love for this Scyther. After a Swords Dance, everything in its path is going to be taking a heavy hit (if it doesn't outspeed *coughCyrus'sCrobatcough*). The hard part is getting up a Swords Dance (Volkner's cronies' Electabuzzes clean OHKOed with T-bolt).

Chapter 8: The Finale feat. Misclicks

BP grinding has its ups and downs. It's fun to see the AI choose stupid moves and their Pokémon have stupid movesets, but sometimes there is this sheer volume of hax that just makes me want to go on a rampage. At any rate, it's all worth it, because I can get another TM of Brick Break for Scyther. If I had succeeded in getting a 49-win streak in the Battle Tower, then maybe I would've taught Cinco Ice Punch over Surf, but that's just not the case because I succumbed to a Golduck at battle 42. Still, though, it's nice to have something willing to Surf without necessarily being an HM slave. Besides, you never know when a little water could come in handy.
Anyway, so now that Volkner's been slaughtered by =( the amazing Scyther, there's nothing left for me to do but proceed to the Pokémon League. But first, Henry stops me as I try to head north from Sunyshore and finally concedes that I'm tougher, but only "just a little." NPCs, man. They only say what they're programmed to say, not caring what happens around them. On a more important note, Jasmine, having borne witness to the conversation, approaches me and asks, "…Was that your friend?" (Seriously, what is with all these people saying that Henry's my friend? Well, to be fair, this is a kids' game.) Then she gives me a lecture about how it must be nice to have a friend (and I can agree) and gives me HM07 Waterfall, meaning that I can get to Victory Road and then to the Pokémon League. But, before that, I'm going to do a bit of non-canon item collecting.
Meanwhile, Cryst wants to learn Flare Blitz at Level 49. Well…I thought about this, and I could get PP and accuracy in exchange for recoil, but I mean, that recoil is just too much. Cryst is the second-slowest member of my team, which means it usually has to take a hit before it can attack. And, I gotta say, dying after killing something is much less satisfying than being able to turn your back to the ashes that remain of your unfortunate opponent.
Moving on, turns out this "item collecting" I mentioned was just some minor exploration of Route 222 and Route 213, so I'll just proceed to the Pokémon League. I already have my rolls planned out for AFive—heads for Route 223 and tails for Victory Road. I will, however, save the Pokémon League roll for when I get through Victory Road because it shall be the dramatic moment that will determine AFive's use against the Elite Four. Now, you may be thinking, "Why not just use a reversal of fate if you get tails?" Well, look closely at the second part of Restriction #2.

Solo 10 Pokemon that has a type super effective against Mr.Mime to get a "reversal of fate", allowing you to reverse the coin toss effect for one route (so heads becomes tails, and vice versa). (Can collect 5 reversals of fate).

The Pokémon League is not a route. Therefore, a reversal of fate cannot be applied to it.
So, on to browsing Route 223.

Swimmer(F) Aubree (after her defeat line): "When I'm in my bikini, I'm at a loss about where to carry my Poké Balls!"​

Now that I think about it, that sorta explains why Swimmers don't carry many Pokémon (3 at max if I'm not mistaken). Also, this phrase provides an opening for a dirty joke, but as per usual, I'll leave that at bay. No pun intended.
Another thing, why is it that the highest-level pre-E4 wild Pokémon are in the waters before Victory Road? It doesn't make sense to me. I mean, the ones in Victory Road range from 40 to 49, but the ones in Route 223 range up to 50. That's ridiculous because my only Level 50 is Cryst, and not even leading with him can Repel some of these mad wild encounters.
So, going through Victory Road, I saw this dude (Ace Trainer Omar) with a Mothim. That's right. A freaking Mothim. In Victory freaking Road. You gotta be really brave, really retarded, or just trolling to do something like that.
And, quite the intense moment against Veteran Clayton's Staraptor. It survived Cryst's Fire Blast at a pixel of HP, but it got burned, and its Brave Bird left Cryst at 10 HP. So intense.
Oh, and I should probably max out Cryst's PP in Close Combat and Fire Blast as soon as I can, and to the best of my ability (I could only find 5 PP Ups for some reason). So, Fire Blast will have 8, and CC will have 7. In the process, I also used all my other vitamins (because apparently, despite how far I've come, none of my team members had 510 EVs yet).
Next, just a quick question…what the heck kind of a name is Ondrej?! Somebody must have really spiteful parents.
Now that I'm out of Victory Road, I'm going to challenge the Pokémon League and show the Elite Four and the Champion what I'm made of. But first, if you know 4th gen well enough, you'd know there's a rival encounter right before the Elite Four, and I mean right before, at the last possible moment, before the Badge Check gate. That's right, I'm going to have to face Henry. Since this update probably wouldn't be very verbose otherwise, I'll provide a text-based breakdown of the battle.

Cinco vs. Staraptor
Icy Wind isn't a 2HKO and Close Combat is an easy OHKO.

Dice vs. Staraptor
Dice uses Metronome and gets Stockpile while Staraptor uses Close Combat, which looks to be roughly a 3HKO. Dice finishes with Ancientpower (no all-stats boost, of course).

Dice vs. Heracross
Heracross outspeeds (even though Staraptor didn't? What is this madness?) and attacks with Close Combat, reducing Dice to about half. Dice retaliates with an Air Slash, which that bug has zero chance of surviving (well, 5% if you take missing into account).

Dice vs. Rapidash
Rapidash proceeds to Bounce (what are you doing with your life, Henry?) and I take this opportunity to heal. It then Fire Blasts (lol special Rapidash) and gets the Burn. I get Heat Wave with Metronome and find out the hard way that the idiot is not running Flash Fire. I try to Ancientpower but he Bounces again. Undeniable proof that the AI can predict moves (because, you know, why else would Rapidash Bounce?) I Full Restore as Henry doesn't heal even though his Rapidash is at 1/16 HP (seriously, what is he doing with his life). He hopelessly Will-o-wisps as I finish with Air Slash.

=( vs. Snorlax
I try to clean up with Scyther, hoping that this Snorlax doesn't carry Rock Slide. I Swords Dance up and he…uses Body Slam. It's not Rock Slide, but it did reduce =( to half and paralyzed her. But, well, that's what Full Restores are for, am I wrong? Brick Break unfortunately leaves Snorlax at 1/8 HP and =( goes down.

Dice vs. Snorlax
I Metronome as per the restriction and I get Transform as he Rests. Oh, the humanity. I switch out immediately because this is the worst possible situation.

Cryst vs. Snorlax
Close Combat leaves Snorlax at a pixel of HP (bulky mofo) as he's still sleeping somehow. I finish with Flame Wheel.

Cryst vs. Empoleon
Close Combat OHKOs. Not a big surprise to me since I previously OHKOed an Empoleon in Victory Road with CC.

Cryst vs. Roserade
Déjà vu, anyone? Fire Blast is a clean OHKO.

Anyway, now that Henry's out of the way, I'm going to stock up on healing items so that all their numbers end in 5 (for Cinco's restriction, obviously). I thought to also get bitter items, but apparently, unlike in literally all the other games, DPPt does not have a bitter item vendor. I thought it did somewhere in Celestic Town, but I guess I was wrong. Oh, and one more thing before the Pokémon League: I should level all of my Level 49 Pokémon to Level 50…just because.
(one brief grinding session later)
Now that that's out of the way, I can challenge the Elite Four. Before that, I have to determine whether AFive gets heads or tails for the Pokémon League. That will all be done live during my next recording session, so there will be a video below, along with a text-based breakdown of what happens in the Elite Four.

…and the coin toss says tails. Well, this means AFive just became about two-thirds as useful. Also, after two live takes (1st take I lost to Flint and 2nd take I violated a Scramble restriction because of Lucian's stupid Gallade), I realized that I have some more grinding to do…I'll grind Cryst to Level 60 and the rest to Level 55.
(does so)
Oh, and in the process, I realized through Bulbapedia that there was a TM of Thunderbolt in Valley Windworks, which means AFive gets a much better coverage move. Screw Shock Wave.

(after the third take…)
Okay. I just lost my run…to a freaking misclick. I totally meant to use Aerial Ace and finish off Cynthia's Roserade (her last), but I clicked Vacuum Wave instead!!! GAH! This traumatic experience will take at least a day to recover from (and I might need to grind up to 58 instead of 55 because Cynthia took a mite too many healing items).

On with the video and text breakdown. This video is rather long, so I'll give you some timestamps. You're welcome.
Aaron - 5:09 (to skip the intro)
Bertha - 9:03
Flint - 24:42
Lucian - 36:10
Cynthia - 41:54

vs. Aaron

Dice vs. Yanmega
I start with Metronome and get Double Kick, which obviously does nothing. Yanmega uses Air Slash, which does not too much damage. He Double Teams (outspeeds after Speed Boost) but I thankfully hit with Ancientpower.

=( vs. Drapion
I Swords Dance as Drapion doesn't do much with Cross Poison. I proceed to sweep his team with Aerial Ace.

=( vs. Vespiquen
Clean OHKO with Aerial Ace.

=( vs. Heracross
Clean OHKO with Aerial Ace.

=( vs. Scizor
Clean OHKO with Aerial Ace.

tl;dr - Dice takes out Yanmega and Scyther cleans up from there.

vs. Bertha

Cryst vs. Whiscash
Grass Knot is a 2HKO and Cryst just dies to an Earth Power.

Dice vs. Whiscash
I get Drain Punch with Metronome, which doesn't reduce it to recovery range, and Whiscash retaliates with an Aqua Tail that doesn't do much. Air Slash for the KO.

AFive vs. Golem
I start with Safeguard as per the restriction as Golem sets up Sandstorm. I get Reflect up and Earthquake is a 3HKO with Sandstorm damage. I use Psychic and get the Sp.Def drop (don't know how much it mattered; I mean, it did exactly half). It lives another Earthquake and I finish the Golem off.

AFive vs. Hippowdon
Psychic is a 2HKO, and what I thought would be a fatal Crunch actually reduced it to 4 HP, after which it died to Sandstorm.

Cinco vs. Hippowdon
Icy Wind doesn't KO and Hippowdon KOs with a crit Stone Edge.

Dice vs. Hippowdon
Bertha Full Restores up and Fury Swipes does negligible damage. I stall out Stone Edges with a combination of Substitutes and a Hyper Potion. Since Hippowdon's out and uses Yawn as I Sub up, Dice's Sub is here to stay. That hippo tried to Crunch only once (and used Yawn the rest of the times…dafriq?) and I KO with first an Air Slash, then a Meteor Mash (which gives an Attack boost), and then a final Air Slash.

Dice vs. Rhyperior
Metronome gives me Poisonpowder, which unfortunately misses, and Rhyperior breaks the sub using Avalanche. A second Metronome gives me Bullet Seed which, even after 5 hits and at +1, still doesn't even do half. Rhyperior misses Megahorn (why would it do that, though). A third Metronome gives me Weather Ball, which reduces it to Sitrus range, and it attacks with Megahorn (yeah, I'm still confused). I heal up as it uses Avalanche, which, when unboosted, is a 3HKO. I fruitlessly discover that Dice has HP Electric as Rhyperior finishes with Rock Wrecker.

Cryst vs. Rhyperior
Grass Knot KOs at that range.

Cinco vs. Gliscor
Icy Wind leaves Gliscor at red HP and Gliscor uses Fire Fang, which reduced it to 1 HP, after which it died to Sandstorm.

Cryst vs. Gliscor
A combination of Grass Knot and probably-not-Blaze-boosted Fire Blast leaves the Gliscor on a pixel of HP.

=( vs. Gliscor
I get a Swords Dance up as Gliscor does 1/3 with Ice Fang. I finish with Aerial Ace, happy that Scyther came through in the clutch.

tl;dr - Dice finishes Whiscash for Mr. Disappointment Cryst, after which AFive proceeds to take out Golem and do a good number to Hippowdon. Cinco gets a feeble hit in, but Dice becomes the hero by stalling out Stone Edges and opening up an opportunity to heal my team. Dice then reduces Rhyperior to where Cryst can KO with Grass Knot. Gliscor was a problem that ultimately died to Scyther's hand of doom.

vs. Flint

Cryst vs. Houndoom
Close Combat is a clean OHKO.

Dice vs. Infernape
Flare Blitz is a 3HKO and the obligatory Metronome gives me a useless Heal Bell. No crits, no burn, and Air Slash is an OHKO after all the recoil (as little as it mattered)

Cryst vs. Magmortar
Close Combat leaves Magmortar at around 1/4, while Thunderbolt clean OHKOs after the Defense drop.

Cinco vs. Magmortar
Night Slash KOs at that range.

=( vs. Flareon
Contrary to what I had hoped, Scyther immediately succumbed to an Overheat.

Dice vs. Flareon
I wonder if using a healing item as it gets sent out is violating a restriction? Barely matters anyway because Flareon used Will-o-wisp and Dice got a useless Fling with Metronome. Ancientpower does exactly half while Flareon keeps hopelessly Overheating. I heal up as Flareon uses Quick Attack. Another Ancientpower reduces it to 1/16 HP as it surprises me with Giga Impact. However surprising it was, it didn't do too much (would've probably been a 4HKO without prior damage). I finish with another Ancientpower.

Dice vs. Rapidash
I heal up with a Full Restore as Rapidash uses Bounce. As he lands, I go for Substitute. He sets up Sunny Day and I get Leaf Blade via Metronome. Ancientpower leaves him at low HP as he breaks the sub. I Air Slash (which is a 2HKO) since I ran out of Ancientpowers. Dice lived a Sun-boosted Flare Blitz at 5 HP, and Air Slash doesn't miss.

tl;dr - Cryst annihilates Houndoom with Close Combat, Dice takes Infernape one-on-one, Cryst disappoints once again against Magmortar while Cinco cleans up, =( fails once again to set up on Flareon, and Dice goes solo from there.

vs. Lucian

=( vs. Mr. Mime
Mr. Mime tries to set up both screens, but Brick Break is a 2HKO at +2.

=( vs. Gallade
I FREAKING MISCLICK AGAIN. Stupid natural tendency to pick the top-left slot. Should've used Aerial Ace, not freaking Vacuum Wave.

(One semi-tedious revival maneuver later, Cinco and Dice gave themselves to attempt to open up a sweep, but Gallade had one Stone Edge left and KO'd the Scyther after it attempted to Swords Dance. After that, I tried to fodder off AFive, which somehow took Gallade's hits surprisingly well, got up Reflect, and fruitlessly reduced the Gallade's HP.)

After all that, I finally do the right freaking thing and OHKO with Aerial Ace and not freaking Vacuum Wave.

=( vs. Espeon
Aerial Ace is a clean OHKO.

=( vs. Bronzong
Brick Break is a clean 2HKO, but Bronzong fruitlessly sets up Calm Mind before dying.

=( vs. Alakazam
Aerial Ace is a clean OHKO.

tl;dr - Trying to Scyther sweep and patching things up after a terrible misclick.

vs. Champion Cynthia

=( vs. Spiritomb
I Swords Dance up and Dark Pulse crits. I heal up and Shadow Ball gets the Sp.Def drop. Thankfully, though, I have an X Sp.Def lying around and I use it. Crit doesn't happen and I can heal up without worry. I get up a second Swords Dance and KO the Spiritomb with Aerial Ace.

=( vs. Togekiss
Aerial Ace is a clean OHKO.

=( vs. Milotic
Aerial Ace is a clean OHKO.

=( vs. Lucario
I know this thing has E-speed. I have to heal up. Then, I can OHKO with Brick Break.

=( vs. Garchomp
Aerial Ace is a clean OHKO. Restriction fulfilled.

=( vs. Roserade
Aerial Ace is a clean OHKO.

tl;dr - Scyther sweep.

And, at long last, that is the end of this Scramble. As I said in the video, I'm not doing the end game because it's just tedious and no harder than the Pokémon League challenge. Honestly, why even bother?

And here is the final listing from LVP to MVP. Stats are listed in the following order: HP/Attack/Defense/Sp.Atk/Sp.Def/Speed

LVP: Treadshot A1's Cryst the Monferno

Myga, take Cryst the Monferno. This Monferno cannot believe it's sheer bad luck, and really wants to smash his head open because of it. You must try to cheer it up with these fun yet annoying restrictions.

• Every time he is switched in, or uses a move, you must shout (out loud, for real) a cheerful slogan or chant (preferably as imappropriate for the situation as possible, just try not to offend people around you).
• Make one of your pokemon use Struggle to beat another pokemon (wild or otherwise). This shows Cryst that maybe beating an entire E4 team with Struggle won't be too hard (Cryst doesn't have to do that, i'm just referencing the Asuka challenge here).
• Make a bonfire with 15 items at once (i.e. throw out 15 items at some point in the game).
• Watch a comedy/sitcom and play the game, and you must laugh as loud as you can to every joke in the show (no matter how lame). There must be at least 2 other people in the same room as you who are not deaf (not trying to discriminate, it's just more embarrassing for Myga this way).
• Use one of your pokemon to win 3 or more contests (at any difficulty level, but with only ONE pokemon for all of them).

Yeah, i used up my evilness on the Asuka challenge.

Male, Level 60
Stats: 157/118/74/126/63/131
Rash, Blaze
- Grass Knot
- Fire Blast
- Flame Wheel
- Close Combat

Sorry, but as fun as it is having NFE Pokémon in a Scramble (like Mudkip and Bidoof), this Monferno just wasn't quite the caliber of its teammates; heck, even Cinco did its job better than Cryst. Also, that slogan restriction is something that I'll never want to go through again. Ever. Still, like every Scramblemon, it had its moments, and, well, it was my only Fire-type. Thanks for the Scramblemon, Treadshot A1.

2nd LVP: Tetrinity's Cinco the Weavile

Mygavolt, take a Sneasel called Cinco.

Cinco loves Cinco de Mayo so much, he named himself after the momentous occasion. He is obsessed with the number five to the extent that it affects his daily life.

1. Cinco may only use a move if at least one of its power, accuracy or max PP ends in 5. So for some examples, Scratch (35PP), Toxic (85% acc) and Ice Beam (95BP) are legal, but Faint Attack (60BP, --% acc, 20PP) and Ice Shard (40BP, 100% acc, 30PP) are not.
2. Cinco must learn and keep the ultimate Five move - Icy Wind. 55BP, 95% acc, 15PP - what more could a pentaphiliac want?
3. Cinco may only evolve at a level that ends in 5.
4. As a Sneasel, all of Cinco's base stats end in 5, excellent stuff! Weavile makes an attempt at upholding the tradition with three base stats ending in 5, but it's not quite the same. After evolving into Weavile, Cinco suffers from permanent Torment over the irreparable loss of his perfect fives.
5. You may only use an item on Cinco if the amount you have in stock ends in 5. TMs and HMs are exempt from this. This restriction does not apply if Cinco's level ends in 5.


Good luck, have five... er, fun.

Male, Level 58
Stats: 159/163/86/86/115/199
Hasty, Pressure
- Night Slash
- Icy Wind
- Surf
- Brick Break

In retrospect, if I had taught it Ice Punch, it probably would've been more successful, but I just dismissed the 64 BP as way too time consuming to be worth its while. The permanent effect of Torment made it something of a challenge, but, unfortunately, so did its stats. Its Special Attack is, and always will be, completely laughable, and it has two special moves. Still, though, whenever it could do what it needed, it did it well.

Middle VP: luigiowns's AFive the Mr. Mime

mygavolt, Take AFive (ArcanaFive) the Mr.Mime!
This Mime is based around one of my new favourite yu-gi-oh cards, and the tarot sign it represents, the fool.

Your restrictions are:
1. If he is in your party during the first time you enter a new area (basically, a new route or town), you must flip a coin. If tails, Arcana must be put under the effects of safeguard before he battles in that area. If Heads, he is under the effect of embargo

There are 2 things you can do to stop bad luck:
2. Solo 5 Pokemon using moves that are under 100% accuracy to get a "second coin toss", allowing you to flip again if you get heads in a route. (Can collect up to 5 second coin tosses at one time, can only be used once per new area).
and:
Solo 10 Pokemon that has a type super effective against Mr.Mime to get a "reversal of fate", allowing you to reverse the coin toss effect for one route (so heads becomes tails, and vice versa). (Can collect 5 reversals of fate).

Also, the fool cannot be naturally switched from defence to attack mode, so
3. If he deals direct damage to an opponent, he must continue to directly damage said opposing pokemon until either faint.

Finally, the fool is the weakest offensive arcana, but has the strongest effect, therefore
4. He must have at least one attack with a secondary effect. The rest of his attacks must have a BP of 60 or under.

Oh wait. 5 restrictions. OK.
The fool is the symbol of naivety, and as such I have been a bit naive with my restrictions. See, there are a few loopholes you can abuse with the other 4 restrictions. However, us naive types hope you won't abuse them.
5. You are free to abuse any and all the loopholes within the previous 4 restrictions.


If you can't find any restriction loopholes, feel free to ask me for a hint. I may just give them away.

Female, Level 58
Stats: 143/74/108/160/144/143
Rash, Filter
- Psychic
- Safeguard
- Thunderbolt
- Reflect

After I got Safeguard, the heads-and-tails thing wasn't truly a be-all-end-all restriction, because it could live at least one hit and retaliate with its high Special Attack stat, its not often resisted Psychic STAB, and its Electric-type coverage move. Reflect also provided good support and boosted its subpar physical bulk to pretty decent levels. Thanks for the Scramblemon, luigiowns.

2nd MVP: King Serperior's Dice the Togekiss

Take Random's younger brother, Dice the Togepi.

Dice is obsessed with gambling, so it likes to take chances. There are 5 chance-based things that he does.

1). Have Serene Grace as an ability.
2). Know Metronome and use it first in all battles.
3). Know Ancientpower.
4). If you can breed, breed Lucky Chant on it. If not, teach it a TM from the Game Corner.
5). Solo 3 Gym trainers to evolve once using only meteronome and 1 GL pokemon to evolve a second time.

Male, Level 59
Stats: 185/76/136/171/164/124
Bashful, Serene Grace
- Air Slash
- Substitute
- Metronome
- Ancientpower

Having to use Metronome first turn is just…pretty fun, but, at the same time, definitely has its drawbacks. In fact, I've rarely called upon a good move using Metronome (and I'm too lazy to dig through my updates to figure out exactly what the moves were). Maybe I should've had Metronome Moments (sort of like Cryst's Slogan Moments) just to make the updates a bit more exciting. Oh, well. Too late for that. At any rate, aside from having to use Metronome, it was the bulkiest thing on my team and could take hits very well. STAB Air Slash with its 60% flinch rate (although it seemed more like 40% to me) is nothing to sneeze at either. Thanks for the Scramblemon, King Serperior.

MVP: The QWAZ's =( the Scyther

Myga, take =( the scyther (or sad if you prefer)
=( is very upset that nobody loves him and they are always pressuring him to evolve in to a scizor so he can be "top tier OU material" he hates them now.
1.Have a special move, that should shut the haters up
2. learn swords dance ASAP.
3. use it at the start of very battle.
4. Solo the 7th and 8th gym, he doesn't need to be neutral to bolt-beam to be successful
5. land the final blow on cynthia's garchomp, to prove it can even beat ubers.

nice and easy, have fun

5.

Female, Level 61
Stats: 170/170/108/84/120/177
Jolly, Technician
- Vacuum Wave (I hate you)
- Swords Dance
- Aerial Ace
- Brick Break

It came, it saw, it swept. While I was originally averse to having to use Swords Dance first turn due to the sheer number of one-off battles I would face, this Scyther actually became an extremely potent sweeper that helped me through half of the Elite Four (Aaron and Lucian), was my last hope in escaping the terrors of Bertha, and swept the Champion. It also did well in its Candice and Volkner solos. The main problem with it, though, is that it had to Swords Dance first turn (with no other option) and could hardly take a hit. It came pretty late in the Scramble, too, so that's another thing. Nonetheless, its benefits far outweighed its downfalls, and I probably would have been in much more of a pickle than I was if not for it, so thank you very much for the Scramblemon, The QWAZ.

In closing, thank you five very much for the Scramblemons. They were quite creative (especially yours, Tetrinity), and I had a lot of fun with them, enough so that the pre-E4 grinding and all the other annoyances barely mattered in comparison.

Game time: 43:57 (although most of it was dedicated to leaving the DS open while typing)

Oh, and apologies to StallMandibuzz that I completely forgot his reservation. Oh, well. All's well that ends well I guess.

 

[StallMandibuzz]

I'll reserve a Swinub for Myga. :) I like giving Challanges, although mine aren't as bad as some of these nightmarish Challanges that lurk around here. O_O :3

 

[King Serperior]

Myga, do you want a Random challenge?

 

[Mygavolt]

Myga, do you want a Random challenge?

Sure, just make sure it follows the rules (5 char limit, 5 restrictions, 5 difficulty, etc.)