Hey Birchy, how ya doing? Yeah, I know what pokemon are. I am a girl in fact, thanks for asking (ya'll knew that, riiight?). My name? Well it isn't Ticigi (pronounced T C G, creative huh?), but I'm going to say that it is anyways. And oh great, I have to shrink. Apparently you have to be a certain height to be teleported from a black room with just a creepy professor to the back of a truck with your boxes. Good to know.
Hey mom! Yes, it
was tiring riding in the moving truck with the boxes. If you care so much, why didn't you do it while I was out in the front seeing how the truck driver magically drives over water (seriously, it's Johto to Hoenn). Oh sweet, I get my own room? Well, it's better than living in the coat closet like I did back in Johto. Oh yeah, Dad bought me a new clock. Exciting. Good thing the battery's dry so it won't affect me at all. Well, let's check my computer and get the obligatory Potion that I almost forget to get every time.
Hey Mom, what are ya watching? I should visit Prof. Birch you say? Not worried about him being a creeper? Well okay then. But I'm gonna explore the town first.
...Mom, you sure this is a town? It has three buildings, and only two of them are houses. Seems like it should be a village. Or maybe even just a community. It's pretty dull too. Well, I guess I'll go see Prof. Birch. Oh, Birch has a son, huh? And he's around my age too, huh? And he was looking forward to meeting me, huh? What an absolute coincidence. Fine, I'll go talk to him.
He's staring at a book? Weirdo. So, Brendan is it. Brendan Birch. Sounds weird too. You want to catch me a pokemon? Sweeet. Wait, you have to help your dad catch some wild pokemon? Idiot. Just give me one of the wild pokemon! ... And he's gone. Geez, if you make a suggestion you know you're not gonna act on, don't suggest it.
Wait, someone's calling for help? Birch? You're getting chased by a Poochyena? Haha. And they told
us not to go into the tall grass without a pokemon. In your bag, hm? Get a pokeball? Well, never mind that. First I'll just take this, this, uh, this paper looks important, wait you keep your wallet in your briefcase? Definitely pocketing that...
Kidding, kidding! (Mostly.) So the pokeballs huh? Wait there are three? Ugh, good thing I'm so indecisive. Uhm uhm uhm... I can't decide! Fine. Eenie meenie miney mo, catch an Arcanine by its toe...
Treecko. Fine then. Dang, not female. Jolly... eh, I'll live. Now let's murder this thing. Birch, you couldn't even protect yourself from a level 2 Poochyena? La-ame. Come by your lab later, huh? Do I even have a choice? No, apparently. Whoo, I can keep it! Uhm, nickname... let's go with Grassassin. Phew, barely fit. Thanks for the gift! Wait, there's a catch? I have to go find Brendan on Route 103? Danngg it. Fine, I'll do it just to shut you up. Okay off we go.
Let's grind Grassassin (that's a pain to type) up a little before we go to Oldale though. Level 7, so he gets Absorb at least. Montage music!
Do do do do do do do do, do do do do DO do do do do do, do do do dodo do do do, do duh do do do do do~ Aren't I such a good singer? Huh, huh? Whatever. To Oldale!
Hey, whaddaya know, we're in Oldale now. Let's go heal. Do do dodo do!~ I love that 4 note tune that plays when you heal. Thanks for waiting, what, 4 seconds? Weird. I'm leaving. Hey girl who works at Pokemart. "Can I get you to come with me?" I don't have a choice 'cause I have to follow you, so why the heck are you asking? You sell a variety of goods including Pokeballs? LIAR. Ooh, free Potion. All is forgiven. Now I should probably go in and buy some stuff. Kay, I'll buy 3 more potions to make 5. Don't feel like going broke right now. So let's go find that weirdo, Brendan Birch, north of here.
Found him without any encounters. Geez, stupid dead ends. If it's a dead end it doesn't count as a route, Gamefreak. That's an optional training spot you've made required, dammit. Well let's just beat up his Torchic that's 2 levels lower. I would describe a major battle like this one, but it was a stupid 2HKO. Do I havvvvveeee to? No? Good. Ooh, level up. 300 poke, Brendan? Really? That's it? Cheapskate. That's only about 3 bucks. (I think 100 poke equals 1 dollar, 'cause it makes sense.) So you get the feeling I could befriend any pokemon easily, Brendan. Does that extend to my opponent's pokemon? If it does, I could just tell the pokemon not to fight me and cruise through the game.
Let's head back to the Lab by shortcut jumping over ledges that are apparently a one-way trip. Geezus, they only look about 1 foot tall. Do we have no climbing skills or what? I'm not bothering to heal, I only took about 4 damage.
Kay, back in the lab. Yeah, I'm awesome, I creamed your son in one try, Birchy. Extensive history as a trainer? And still has a level 5 Torchic? Yeah right. Sweet, you're giving me a Pokedex. Shiny.... Yayyyyy, thanks weirdo Brendan for the Pokeballs! It's more fun having a bunch of pokemon, huh Brendan? That explains why my runs through the game usually only end up with 5 pokemon, of course. Okay, off to Petalburg because I'm smart and know what to do next. But wait, Mom has something for me, one of the best things introduced in Gen III, dun dun dun....THE RUNNING SHOES! 'Cause I was wearing five inch high heels so I couldn't before, obviously. But I'm gonna end it off here, 'cause this is getting kind of long. So, next time on my Sapphire Scramble, are we going to make it to Petalburg?
Hint,the answer is yes! See ya guys then!
~Team Summary~
Grassassin (M) @ Nothing
Jolly nature, Lvl 8
-Pound
-Leer
-Absorb
-
Grassassin has been in one major battle and cleaned up with a 2HKO. And he's my only pokemon, must I say more?