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Two Moles One Blob

Discussion in 'Dream World' started by Magikarp FTW, Nov 22, 2011.

  1. Magikarp FTW

    Magikarp FTW

    Joined:
    May 8, 2010
    Messages:
    3
    Well hello and welcome to my first ever warstory (and post on smogon). Anyway It was about 4 'o' clock last Tuesday when I got bored of the chat and started laddering. I was using an alt at the time which got me up to a decent rating on the server I was using at the time (The Battle Tower, which is where this match was conducted) After a few battles against other players. The window popped up with Lil Wayne on the other end. The last time we played each other he beat me rather comfortably so, half-expecting my rating to go down in 5 minutes time, I groaned, said my good luck and made my first move.


    Mako's team

    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]

    Lil Wayne's team will be shown at the end. So you can see the battle unravel how I did.

    My comments will be in Blue
    Battle text will be in Black bold
    Sandstorm damage will be omitted from the inception of it.
    The following pokemon have Leftovers: Me- Reuniclus / Lil Wayne- Landorus, Rotom-W, Tyranitar
    Gliscor's Poison Heal will be omitted after inception of it

    Without further ado the Warstory.

    Battle between [HXG]Mako and [$G]Lil Wayne started!

    Tier: Wifi
    Mode Singles
    Variation: +18, -14
    Rule: Rated
    Rule: Sleep Clause
    Rule: Freeze Clause
    Rule: Species Clause
    Rule: Self-KO Clause


    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out GENESIS (Genesect)!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Genesect!
    The foe's GENESIS's Download activates!
    The foe's GENESIS's Attack rose!
    Genesect's Download activates!
    Genesect's Special Attack rose!


    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    hmmm okay so I'm facing another Genesect lead. It's probably running the standard U-Turn, Flamethrower, Ice Beam, Thunderbolt set (what Gene doesn't) which causes problems for me as my entire team is weak to at least one of his moves, meaning I have to read rather lightly against him.

    Now my Genesect is wearing a rather natty Expert belt instead of a Choice scarf as it earns quite a few surprise KO's. Unfortunately, this means there is no hope of outspeeding a Scarfed Genesect, meaning my hand is pretty much forced here. I have to switch to have any chance of my Gene living past Turn 1. I foresee a flamethrower coming my way here so I go to my Fire resist in Tyranitar.


    _____

    TURN 1
    [HXG]Mako called Genesect back!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Tyranitar!
    Tyranitar's Sand Stream whipped up a sandstorm!
    The foe's GENESIS used U-turn!


    goddamit

    It's super-effective! Tyranitar lost 57% of its health!
    [$G]Lil Wayne called GENESIS back!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out LIL WAYNE (Gliscor)!
    The sandstorm rages!
    The foe's LIL WAYNE's Toxic Orb activated!
    The foe's LIL WAYNE was badly poisoned!


    [​IMG] VS [​IMG][big] --->[/big][​IMG]

    Ugh, predicted the first turn out. This hasn't started how I would of liked it too. Anyway Gene deals a heap of damage to T-Tar and returns to his pokeball without a scratch, sending out Gliscor. The bane of Sandstorm. now my T-tar runs SR, Stone Edge, Crunch and Dragon Tail. And as I'm found lacking in the Ice Beam department I'm stuck with either switching out again or getting up Rocks. Now I don't really want to go 2 turns without doing anything constructive and I think I can take an EQ from him.
    Only one way to find out...


    _____

    TURN 2
    The foe's LIL WAYNE used Earthquake!
    It's super-effective! Tyranitar lost 39% of its health!
    Tyranitar used Stealth Rock!
    Pointed stones float in the air around [$G]Lil Wayne's team!
    The sandstorm rages!
    The foe's LIL WAYNE restored a little HP using its Poison Heal!


    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    Score. Tyranitar takes the EQ like a pro and gets up rocks in return. Now the only problem is T-Tar's health. It's currently lying around 34HP off of dying. I see nothing that T-tar can really do this match so decide to just sac him allowing me to be in a slightly more favourable position next turn.

    _____

    Turn 3
    The foe's LIL WAYNE used Earthquake!
    It's super-effective! Tyranitar lost 2% of its health!
    Tyranitar fainted!
    The sandstorm rages!

    [HXG]Mako sent out Landorus!


    [big]5-6 Lil Wayne[/big]

    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    Not much to say there. T-Tar dies to the expected EQ.

    I decide to send out Lando here to try and force Gliscor out with a HP Ice. I'm kinda hoping he'll buy it giving me the prime oppurtunity to U-Turn out, taking the momentum from hin and seeing what is answer to Lando is. If I can knock the counter out early Scarf Landorus is going to have field day later on. U-Turn it is.


    _____

    Turn 4
    [$G]Lil Wayne called LIL WAYNE back!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out SCROTOM (Rotom-W)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's SCROTOM!
    Landorus used U-turn!
    The foe's SCROTOM lost 36% of its health!
    [HXG]Mako called Landorus back!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Genesect!
    Genesect's Download activates!
    Genesect's Special Attack rose!

    The foe's SCROTOM restored a little HP using its Leftovers!


    [​IMG] [big]--->[/big] [​IMG] VS [​IMG]


    So Lil Wayne's scrotom can restore it's own health. Props to ya bud that's a pretty neat party trick.

    Anyway Gliscor ran (flew?) away from the impending HP Ice like I thought it would meaning that Rotom takes a smack from U-Turn whilst Lando gets replaced by Genesect. I gamble that the Rotom isn't scarfed and hit it with a U-Turn to keep momentum in my favour and to get a little damage on his Lando counter. I don't get the download boost but I should still do a bit of damage on it.


    _____

    Turn 5
    [$G]Lil Wayne called SCROTOM back!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out THE BOSS (Tyranitar)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's THE BOSS!
    Genesect used U-turn!
    It's super-effective! The foe's THE BOSS lost 58% of its health!
    [HXG]Mako called Genesect back!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Landorus!

    The foe's THE BOSS restored a little HP using its Leftovers!


    [​IMG] [big]--->[/big][​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    Well the U-Turn didn't hit it's intended recipient but this is almost better. having T-Tar's health halved means that Lando can come back in and threaten the KO with either EQ or U-Turn. Problem for EQ is that Gliscor and Rotom are still alive and if I wrongly predict Wayne gets the momentum right back, and I probably lose a pokemon.

    If Gliscor comes in then I'm going to Reuniclus to try and ward him off with a STAB Psychic and set up TR to have a mini mid-game sweep. If Rotom comes in then I go back to Genesect and the process repeats itself until one of us breaks the cycle and reveals a new pokemon. Reason #47 on why U-Turn is the best move in the game.


    _____

    Turn 6
    [$G]Lil Wayne called THE BOSS back!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out LIL WAYNE (Gliscor)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's LIL WAYNE!
    Landorus used U-turn!
    It's not very effective... The foe's LIL WAYNE lost 8% of its health!
    [HXG]Mako called Landorus back!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Reuniclus!


    [​IMG][big] --->[/big][​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    So Gliscor comes in to take the U-Turn and is met with the floating jelly baby they call Reuniclus. I honestly don't see Gliscor staying in here so I go for the Trick Room to make sure I outspeed whatever comes in (barring perhaps a Ferrothorn or a Slowbro) and hit it hard with whatever takes my fancy.

    _____

    Turn 7
    The foe's LIL WAYNE used Swords Dance!
    The foe's LIL WAYNE's Attack sharply rose!
    Reuniclus used Trick Room!
    Reuniclus twisted the dimensions!


    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    Oh bugger. That didn't work how I wanted it to. I may be able to outspeed him now but facing a +2 EQ is going to hurt no matter how much jelly you have wrapped around you. I'm seriously hoping that Reuniclus can take a +2 Earthquake as I'm 100% positive Psychic is a 2HKO. Even with Poison Heal and Protect.

    _____

    Turn 8
    Reuniclus used Psychic!
    The foe's LIL WAYNE lost 65% of its health!
    The foe's LIL WAYNE's Special Defense fell!
    The foe's LIL WAYNE used Earthquake!
    Reuniclus lost 67% of its health!
    Reuniclus restored a little HP using its Leftovers!


    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    The jelly exterior of my Reuniclus might have just put Gliscor out of commision. Psychic does exactly what I wanted it too meaning that even if he DOES protect here. Psychic will still KO after the two bouts of Poison heal. the next two turns are just Psychic spam so commentary is almost unneeded.

    _____

    [small]Turn 9
    The foe's LIL WAYNE used Protect!
    The foe's LIL WAYNE protected itself!
    Reuniclus used Psychic!
    The foe's LIL WAYNE protected itself from the attack!

    _____

    Turn 10
    [$G]Lil Wayne called LIL WAYNE back!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out THE BOSS (Tyranitar)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's THE BOSS!
    Reuniclus used Psychic!
    It had no effect!
    [/small]

    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    ok so Tyranitar comes in and takes the immune Psychic. However this means that I only only have one turn of Trick Room left. Hoping he doesn't notice that it's still up I go for the Focus blast to take the rocky behemoth down. As he'll probably go for the KO straight away and use Crunch.

    _____

    Turn 11
    Reuniclus used Focus Blast!
    It's super-effective! The foe's THE BOSS lost 28% of its health!
    The foe's THE BOSS fainted!
    The twisted dimensions returned to normal!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out GENESIS (Genesect)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's GENESIS!
    The foe's GENESIS's Download activates!
    The foe's GENESIS's Attack rose!


    [big]5-5 Tie[/big]

    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    So his Tyranitar bites the dust due to my Jelly baby's focus and that damn Genesect comes out again. Due to the distinct lack of switch prediction my opponent is showing at the moment I reckon he'll try and U-Turn to take out Reuniclus. Which gives my Genesect a very healthy switch-in.

    _____

    Turn 12
    [HXG]Mako called Reuniclus back!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Genesect!
    Genesect's Download activates!
    Genesect's Special Attack rose!
    The foe's GENESIS used U-turn!
    It's not very effective... Genesect lost 31% of its health!
    [$G]Lil Wayne called GENESIS back!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out THE OP TING (Excadrill)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's THE OP TING!
    The foe's THE OP TING is floating on a balloon!


    [​IMG] VS [​IMG] [big]--->[/big] [​IMG]

    so Genesect rides the U-Turn like a boss but gets met by the OP mole. Should of guessed that it would turn up sooner rather than later. And it's got a goddamn Balloon meaning Landorus can't EQ it's ass back to Lil Wayne. However, sensing he may EQ to get the kill on my 'scarf' Genesect I go to Lando to either force him out and U-Turn or let him Rock Slide me so I can break his balloon....with U-Turn.

    But hang on. What can Gensect ACTUALLY do to the rest of his team. Apart from perhaps Ice beaming his Gliscor. It gets outsped by Gene and Exca (and gets OHKO'd by both), can't really touch Rotom apart from Thunderbolt and is basically just a dead weight for me. And If there's one thing I hate more than Chansey it's a pokemon that can do nothing for me.


    _____

    Turn 13
    The foe's THE OP TING used Earthquake!
    Genesect lost 68% of its health!
    Genesect fainted!
    The sandstorm rages!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Landorus!


    [big]4-5 Lil Wayne[/big]

    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    So my steel insect goes down paving the way for my Lando to get me back some momentum. Excadrill isn't getting is balloon popped by a poxy Bug move I suspect which leaves either Gliscor, Rotom or the unrevealed pokemon. U-Turn is probably the safest move here and it will get me some more precious momentum.

    _____

    Turn 14
    [$G]Lil Wayne called THE OP TING back!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out LIL WAYNE (Gliscor)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's LIL WAYNE!
    Landorus used Hidden Power!
    It's super-effective! The foe's LIL WAYNE lost 46% of its health!
    The foe's LIL WAYNE fainted!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out SCROTOM (Rotom-W)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's SCROTOM!


    [big]4-4 Tie[/big]

    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    But since when have I played the 'safe' route? Hidden Power puts Gliscor into an Icy pokeball and puts Lil Wayne right on the back foot.

    Rotom greets my scarfed genie and seriously threatens it with Hydro Pump. Especially as only 2 of my pokemon can actually take one. Meaning it's between Reuniclus or Ditto. As I'd like to keep Ditto as hidden as possible. (It's my Excadrill counter once that Balloon's gone) so Reuniclus it is!

    _____

    Turn 15
    [HXG]Mako called Landorus back!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Reuniclus!
    The foe's SCROTOM used Hidden Power!
    Reuniclus lost 20% of it's health!



    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    So he decides to HP Ice instead eh? interesting move, I personally would of Hydro Pumped there but HP Ice was a guaranteed KO and more accurate. Having said that Reuniclus can now hopefully take Wayne's Scrotom's Hydro Pump (can't believe I typed that) and KO it back with Psychic.

    _____

    Turn 16
    The foe's SCROTOM used Hydro Pump!
    The attack of the foe's SCROTOM missed!
    Reuniclus used Psychic!
    A critical hit! The foe's SCROTOM lost 38% of its health!
    The foe's SCROTOM fainted!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out IHATEICE (Landorus)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's IHATEICE!


    [big]4-3 Mako[/big]

    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    And Hax rears it's ugly head for the first time this match. Meaning Wayne's scrotom gets knocked out by my jelly baby's unseeable force. (I'm never going to get tired of that joke). This is superb for me because the only thing stopping my Lando's sweep is his own Landorus., which happens to come in right now. Reuniclus is going to be doing nothing for me now, with Lando, Exca AND Genesect all outspeeding and OHKOing me I decide to Psychic to just get some damage in if he chooses to do something other than attack.

    _____

    Turn 17
    The foe's IHATEICE used Substitute!
    The foe's IHATEICE made a substitute!
    Reuniclus used Psychic!
    The foe's IHATEICE's substitute faded!


    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    Substitute? I've never seen that on a Landorus before.
    Anyway this is good news for me as he's just needlessly weakened his Lando and I've gained 6% more health. see what happens this time when I psychic....


    _____

    Turn 18
    The foe's IHATEICE used Earthquake!
    A critical hit! Reuniclus lost 54% of its health!
    Reuniclus fainted!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Ditto!
    Ditto transformed into Landorus!


    [big]3-3 Tie[/big]

    [​IMG]TRANSFORM[​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    Yeah. Wayne does the obvious move and takes out Reuniclus. It was a dead weight on my team anyway tbh.

    Anyway the best Revenge killer in the game at the moment comes out and assumes the form of Landorus. My Ditto is scarved so I can outpace whoever I turn into. (Meaning Excadrills can see how they like their own EQ hitting them) I see his Lando has Smack Down, EQ, Substitute and a Hidden Power(probably Ice). So, thinking he may go to Genesect to take the Smack Down I EQ to knock it out.


    _____

    Turn 19
    [$G]Lil Wayne called IHATEICE back!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out THE OP TING (Excadrill)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's THE OP TING!
    The foe's THE OP TING is floating on a balloon!
    Ditto used Earthquake!
    It had no effect...



    [​IMG]TRANSFORM[​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    So his Excadrill comes in grasping his Balloon meaning it evades my amorphous blob's Earthquake (Gamefreak: masters of logic since 1996). This is easily managed though. Excadrill knows my Landorus won't stay in meaning Earthquake has suddenly become a rather viable option. I go to Landorus here to hopefully live a Rock slide, U-Turn out and break that damn balloon. So Stage no.1 gogogo.

    _____

    Turn 20
    [HXG]Mako called Ditto back!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Landorus!
    The foe's THE OP TING used Swords Dance!
    The foe's THE OP TING's Attack sharply rose!


    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    ugh. That wasn't meant to happen. Thinking about though that was the obvious move to do. Anyway I'm now left facing a +2 Excadrill. So, hoping against hope that Landorus can take a +2 Rock Slide I click the U-Turn button and let Landorus' bulk (lol) do the talking.

    _____

    Turn 21
    The foe's THE OP TING used Rock Slide!
    Landorus lost 71% of its health!
    Landorus used U-turn!
    It's not very effective... The foe's THE OP TING lost 18% of its health!
    The foe's THE OP TING's Air Balloon popped!
    [HXG]Mako called Landorus back!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Ditto!
    Ditto transformed into Excadrill!


    [​IMG] [big]--->[/big][​IMG]TRANSFORM[​IMG] VS [​IMG]


    LANDO YOU BEAST. With that I get my U-Turn away and pop his little red balloon. This is superb for me as now Excadrill cannot take an Earthquake from my Scarf Ditto.

    However, it's a toss up between EQ and Rock slide here.Worst case scenario: Excadrill stays in and I Rock Slide, Ditto does pitiful damage and gets killed off By Excadrill's EQ. Not good. However if Landorus OR Genesect comes in then I hit them both for Standard damage. (and quite good damage at that) I can also outspeed them both and go for the 2HKO on either of them. All in all, not a bad choice.

    If I Earthquake though and Excadrill stays in then it makes my endgame plan a very straightforward one. And it means I get one-up on the most 'OP' pokemon in the game :b_evil: . However it does leave me wide open to prediction if Landorus comes in. Not only that but If Gene comes in then there's probably a good chance I could KO it on the switch.

    Rock Slide: Exca - NVE
    Lando - Standard
    Gene - Standard

    Earthquake: Exca - SE
    Lando - Immune
    Gene - Standard

    going on this I choose Rock Slide over EQ and hope Excadrill doesn't stay in.


    _____

    Turn 22
    [$G]Lil Wayne called THE OP TING back!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out IHATEICE (Landorus)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's IHATEICE!
    Ditto used Rock Slide!
    The foe's IHATEICE lost 57% of its health!


    [​IMG]TRANSFORM[​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    phew. Excadrill decided to flee instead of chance an Earthquake. Good for me as I essentially get a free move here, If landorus stays in then he gets killed, meaning my own Landorus can sweep a lot easier. If Gene comes in I'm pretty sure Rock slide is a 2HKO and I can just swith Lando in if Exca threatens me (after taking the Rock Slide) with Earthquake. Rock Slide it is!

    _____

    Turn 23
    Ditto used Rock Slide!
    The foe's IHATEICE lost 10% of its health!
    The foe's IHATEICE fainted!
    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out THE OP TING (Excadrill)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's THE OP TING!


    [big]3-2 Mako[/big]

    [​IMG]TRANSFORM[​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    So Wayne sacs his Landorus instead of letting Exca take the hit. Fair enough.

    Excadrill takes Lando's place though meaning I have to switch to have any hope of hitting him properly. That and I need to keep Ditto healthy in case he starts getting ballsy and SD's up on one of my pokemon. So I decided to go to Landorus here to negate his Earthquake and threaten him with one of my own.


    _____

    Turn 24
    [HXG]Mako called Ditto back!
    [HXG]Mako sent out Landorus!
    The foe's THE OP TING used Earthquake!
    It had no effect!


    [​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    so Earthquake gets used and Lando comes in to laugh at it. Good good.

    Rock Slide would be the obvious move here for Wayne and, in a dramatic playstyle twist, I'm actually going to let him get away with doing the obvious move. Simply because, If Landorus gets killed off, then Excadrill will be in play, my Ditto can then come in and sweep with EQ. Awesome! Most original end-game plan ever, Let Exca sweep with earthquake...

    Phase One: Get Landorus killed off


    _____

    Turn 25
    The foe's THE OP TING used Rock Slide!
    Landorus lost 28% of its health!
    Landorus fainted!

    [HXG]Mako sent out Ditto!
    Ditto transformed into Excadrill!


    [big]2-2 Tie[/big]

    [​IMG]TRANSFORM[​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    so Phase one comes off without a hitch.

    Phase two: Kill off Excadrill with a STAB Earthquake


    _____

    Turn 26
    Ditto used Earthquake!
    [$G]Lil Wayne shet
    It's super-effective! The foe's THE OP TING lost 72% of its health!
    The foe's THE OP TING fainted!

    [$G]Lil Wayne sent out GENESIS (Genesect)!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's GENESIS!
    The foe's GENESIS's Download activates!
    The foe's GENESIS's Attack rose!


    [big]2-1 Mako[/big]

    [​IMG]TRANSFORM[​IMG] VS [​IMG]

    Phase Two also comes off without a hitch. From now on it should be plain sailing...

    _____

    Turn 27
    Ditto used Earthquake!
    The foe's GENESIS lost 69% of its health!

    Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit

    The foe's GENESIS used Flamethrower!
    It's super-effective! Ditto lost 92% of its health!


    dat special bulk O_O

    [​IMG]TRANSFORM[​IMG] VS [​IMG]


    Well... I can honestly say I did not see that coming. Gene pulls some magical physical bulk out of his ass and takes the Earthquake. However Ditto also pulls magical bulk out of itself and takes a SE Flamethrower at the same time. probably Low damage rolls for both of us there...

    In the end though, it was just delaying the inevitable. gg Wayne.


    _____

    Turn 28
    Ditto used Earthquake!
    The foe's GENESIS lost 5% of its health!
    The foe's GENESIS fainted!
    [HXG]Mako won the battle!


    [big]2-0 Mako[/big]

    [$G]Lil Wayne: gg
    [HXG]Mako: gg

    We say our gg's and end what was quite a fantastic battle. Both of us using the 'OP' Sandstorm to good effect. It really did come down to who could protect their 'Excadrill' longer.


    [big][big]MVP[/big][/big]

    [​IMG]

    Seriously, this guy is THE best revenge killer in the game at the moment. Coming in on any pokemon and countering it with it's own moves. This battle was no exception to this awesome power. Coming in on Excadrill and forcing Lil Wayne to play more defensively whilst I fire away superpowered attacks for free. Without Ditto, I would not of won this match. Simple as.


    [big]Props & Slops[/big]

    PROPS

    - Ditto for being awesome
    - Gamefreak for giving Ditto Imposter.
    - Wayne's Landorus for constantly being a thorn in my side and making me predict around it.
    - My Landorus for utilizing HP Ice to it's full potential
    - One incident of hax only ( people who have played me before know I seem to be a hax magnet so this is quite astounding)
    - Lil Wayne for the great match! ^_^

    SLOPS

    - His Tyranitar for doing...nothing
    - My Genesect for doing...nothing
    - Excadrill for only realistacally being weak (In Sandstorm) to Conkeldurr and TechLoom
    - Gamefreak for introducing Sand Rush as an ability



    So there you have it. My first warstory. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Comment. Rate. Suscribe and most of all enjoy battling!

    Lil Wayne's team:

    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
  2. Pwnemon

    Pwnemon judges silently
    is a Tutoris a Forum Moderatoris a Community Contributoris a Tiering Contributoris a Contributor to Smogonis a Smogon Media Contributor
    Doubles Co-Lead

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2010
    Messages:
    3,769
    You misplayed heavily in one spot and it soured the battle a little for me...
    When your reuni was vs his rotom, you should have used TR and then swept his face.
    Also, less so but you should have gone to Gene instead of Reuni against Gliscor the first time.

    Other than that, this was a cool story, bro.
  3. Magikarp FTW

    Magikarp FTW

    Joined:
    May 8, 2010
    Messages:
    3
    Thanks for the rate.

    But yeah, I knew I should of used TR now, but at the time I had a Landorus sweep in my head so priority was killing Rotom there and then.

    Hindsight is a wonderful thing...
  4. jessifer

    jessifer

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2011
    Messages:
    271
    That was a really good first warstory. I liked your commetary. Hope to see more from you.
  5. Ashenlock

    Ashenlock

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2007
    Messages:
    941
    You may want to avoid saying things like "So... this, this, and this happened," things that we can see and infer independent of their being described. Also, people tend to dislike trite phrases popularized elsewhere, such as "like a pro."

    I liked it though. My complaint would be too much "averageness," without one aspect of the story standing out as superb and fantastic, but that problem will vanish with more writing experience.

    Also--and this may be on my end, and not a problem with you--I was unable to see some of the sprites in the beginning, specifically those of your team, so I was kind of in the dark early on.

    EDIT: One last thing that kind of bothers me. While I can see why someone would be inclined to pick a good battle regardless of this factor, I think that you should wait for battles with very different team members. Sometimes it's a little difficult to pick up what's going on. One or two members is fine, but with four it gets confusing.
  6. Jimera0

    Jimera0 You don't understand, Edgar is the one in the hole!
    is a Community Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2010
    Messages:
    1,678
    I liked it, not a bad job. With some practice I think you could become very good at this.

    One quick issue though. You start out refusing to show his team so we can find it out as you did, but then you proceed to list 4 members of his team immediately afterwards when you tell us which Pokemon have leftovers and such. Instead of listing them at the start you should have let the first appearance of leftovers/poison heal stay then omit any reassurances, as is standard.

    Finally some health percentages would have been really helpful in understanding what was going on in-between turns. For instance, at the end I forgot that your opponents Genesect had already taken prior damage so I had no idea why you though an unboosted EQ would KO it. Having Genesect's health listed would've eliminated that misunderstanding immediately. Instead of calculating them yourself just plug your log into this site and use the health percentages you see there. That replay viewer is actually a tremendous war-story making tool (as a reference, not as a part of the warstory) so I recommend you make use of it in the future.
  7. StruggleSweep

    StruggleSweep

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    I think this is a great first warstory. One thing is you 0should have put the health percentages below the pokemon in-between turns. If you dont know what I mean, go to the Warstory Archives and read one. Overall, I give you a 7/10
  8. Joeyboy

    Joeyboy Check out my Youtube channel! JoeyboyGames!
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    I agree that this is a wonderful first warstory. Formatting is quite good but one thing to maybe look out for is health percentages. I know PO's replays dont keep health % but if you take the time to calculate and include them it really makes a difference. :) I enjoyed the battle and while their were some misplays they didn't really effect the flow too badly.

    Well done!
  9. Run

    Run Poster of the Month

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    10-year-old pokemasters everywhere just shed a tear for your poor genesect.
  10. TM13IceBeam

    TM13IceBeam

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    Isn't this a DW battle anyway (ditto, genesect)

    anyway cool warstory bro
  11. Yamata no Orochi

    Yamata no Orochi capes are cool
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    For a first post and first warstory, it was really good.
  12. dragonuser

    dragonuser The only thing I look up to is the sky
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    for the first warstory uve done it was a great read :]
  13. Lithium_Catalysis

    Lithium_Catalysis

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    I really liked the way you unveiled the guy's team, builds suspense. I haven't seen that done before. Not that I've really seen many RMTs, but...it still left a good impression.

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