1. Welcome to Smogon Forums! Please take a minute to read the rules.
  2. New to the forums? Check out our Mentorship Program!
    Our mentors will answer your questions and help you become a part of the community!

Warstory: Float Like a Rotom, Sting Like a Terrakion

Discussion in 'BW OU' started by Ithilanor, May 16, 2012.

  1. Ithilanor

    Ithilanor

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2010
    Messages:
    240
    Greetings, Smogon! This is my first warstory, and one of the first matches I've felt was good enough to warrant warstorying. I'm fairly new to competitive battling, so this battle undoubtedly contains several mistakes in my play and thinking; I apologize in advance. Nevertheless, I feel this is an interesting battle, and I hope it's enjoyable to read about.

    If you'd like to watch this battle instead of just reading about it, then
    Bitey Idris's team (open)
    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]


    My team is an offensive team, primarily based around the one-two punch of SD Lucario and SubSD Terrakion. They overlap to some degree, enough so that one can often punch through a defensive core, allowing the other to cleanup. Latias carries screens to enable setting up, as well as Healing Wish so my attackers can come in midgame to gain an advantage, take some hits, then be healed later to finish things. Hippowdon deals with opposing weather users, sets up rocks, and acts as a superb physical wall. Scizor and Rotom-W give me revenge killing, cover my offensive and defensive typing, and let me gain momentum with the infamous VoltTurn combo.


    za's team (open)
    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]


    Looking at his team, I find it hard to discern his primary strategy. Ferrothorn/Spiritomb provide a decent defensive core; I imagine Hydreigon, Starmie, and Infernape provide the first wave of offense, with Conkeldurr coming in to clean up. I decide to send out Scizor at the start to gain some initial momentum, aiming to go to Hippowdon to set up rocks. Once nice thing is that he lacks a Ground type, so Rotom will be able to spam Volt Switch without fear of consequences.


    Battle between Bitey Idris and za started!
    Tier: Standard OU
    Variation: +17, -15
    Rule: Rated
    Rule: Sleep Clause
    Rule: Species Clause
    Rule: Wifi Battle

    za sent out Starmie!
    Bitey Idris sent out Scizor!
    [​IMG]

    Interesting, Starmie at the start. Scizor won't exactly enjoy a Hydro Pump/Surf, but he can take it without getting killed. I go with U-turn to go for the OHKO on Starmie and get Hippowdon in.


    Turn 1

    The foe's Starmie used Hydro Pump!
    The attack of the foe's Starmie missed!

    Scizor used U-turn!
    It's super-effective! The foe's Starmie lost 100% of its health!

    The foe's Starmie fainted!

    Bitey Idris called Scizor back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Hippowdon!

    While his Hydro Pump miss is major hax in my favor, I don't think it would have mattered much this match - Scizor didn't get hurt again until near the end. It depends on what set Starmie was running; Choice Specs would have a small chance of OHKO'ing Scizor, but anything else would only have been a 2HKO. Hippowdon comes out to tank hits and set up rocks.


    Hippowdon's Sand Stream whipped up a sandstorm!
    The sandstorm rages!

    za sent out Ferrothorn!
    [​IMG]

    Not surprising. I don't mind him setting up rocks that much, and Hippowdon won't be in long enough for Leech Seed to really matter.


    Turn 2

    Hippowdon used Stealth Rock!
    Pointed stones float in the air around za's team!

    The foe's Ferrothorn used Leech Seed!
    Hippowdon was seeded!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Hippowdon is sapped by leech seed.
    [​IMG]

    About as expected. I expect he'll set up rocks or spikes; I'll bring in Lucario to force Ferrothorn out. I don't expect to be able to set up with Conkeldurr around, but Lucario still hits very hard. Scizor can't quite deal with Ferrothorn as well, and going to Terrakion risks it getting pointlessly killed by a Power Whip/Gyro Ball.


    Turn 3

    Bitey Idris called Hippowdon back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Lucario!

    The foe's Ferrothorn used Stealth Rock!
    Pointed stones float in the air around Bitey Idris's team!
    The sandstorm rages!
    [​IMG]

    Once again, as expected. There's no way he's going to stay in against Lucario, so he'll be switching out. There's no point in me SD'ing this early, since Conkeldurr can just come in and revenge kill with Mach Punch, so I'll just spam CC to get a solid hit on something. This is one of the strengths of Terrakion/Lucario, I find - even without setting up, they still hit very hard with their STAB attacks, which lets me wear down opposing teams.



    Turn 4

    za called Ferrothorn back!
    za sent out Conkeldurr!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Conkeldurr!

    Lucario used Close Combat!
    The foe's Conkeldurr lost 66% of its health!
    Lucario's Defense fell!
    Lucario's Special Defense fell!
    Lucario is hurt by its life orb!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Conkeldurr is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Conkeldurr restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    That was unexpected, to say the least. Presumably he was expecting me to SD and then easily kill me with Mach Punch; however, taking a CC on the switch-in allows Conkeldurr to be easily killed by Extremespeed. Getting Conkeldurr out of the way is certainly welcome, as he can revenge kill both Lucario and Terrakion.

    In hindsight, this was a major mistake by my opponent, who probably should have just gone to Spiritomb. I suppose he might have overpredicted, expecting a Crunch or Dark Pulse from me, but Spiritomb wouldn't have been majorly harmed by either of those. Instead, Conkeldurr is eliminated; arguably the most crucial turn of the match.


    Turn 5

    Lucario used ExtremeSpeed!
    The foe's Conkeldurr lost 27% of its health!

    The foe's Conkeldurr fainted!
    Lucario is hurt by its life orb!
    The sandstorm rages!

    za sent out Spiritomb!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Spiritomb!

    The foe's Spiritomb is exerting its pressure!
    [​IMG]

    I get the Conkeldurr kill as expected, and in comes Spiritomb. My Lucario runs Ice Punch over Crunch - I find Gliscor much more prevalent than random Ghost types - so Lucario's forced out. (I did the damage calcs afterward; even if I had Crunch, it wouldn't have done much.) I go to Rotom-W, who won't mind anything from Spiritomb and can gain me momentum with Volt Switch.


    Turn 6

    Bitey Idris called Lucario back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Rotom-W!
    Pointed stones dug into Rotom-W!

    The foe's Spiritomb used Calm Mind!
    The foe's Spiritomb's Special Attack rose!
    The foe's Spiritomb's Special Defense rose!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Rotom-W is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Spiritomb is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Spiritomb restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    Huh, a Calm Mind set. It won't like getting Choice-locked, so I'll give it the lovely gift of the very fashionable scarf my Rotom carries.


    Turn 7

    za called Spiritomb back!
    za sent out Hydreigon!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Hydreigon!

    Rotom-W used Trick!
    Rotom-W switched items with the foe's Hydreigon!
    Rotom-W obtained one Choice Scarf!
    The foe's Hydreigon obtained one Choice Scarf!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Hydreigon is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Rotom-W is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    [​IMG]

    Heh, Choice item swaps always amuse me. Rotom-W's forced out, so I need to decide what to switch to. We're still early on in the match, so I expect Hydreigon will be U-turning to rack up some damage, rather then getting choice-locked. Hippowdon will easily be able to take the U-turn, and can even absorb a Fire Blast/Focus Blast; I don't expect Hydreigon will be locking himself into Draco Meteor with both Scizor and Lucario waiting in the wings.


    Turn 8

    Bitey Idris called Rotom-W back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Hippowdon!
    Pointed stones dug into Hippowdon!

    The foe's Hydreigon used U-turn!
    Hippowdon lost 7% of its health!

    za called Hydreigon back!
    za sent out Ferrothorn!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Ferrothorn!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Hippowdon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    The foe's Ferrothorn restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    This seems familiar! My particular Latias doesn't mind anything Ferrothorn can do - she won't be in long enough for Leech Seed to really have an effect, and if Ferrothorn tries to lay down spikes, he just becomes setup bait for my sweepers.


    Turn 9

    Bitey Idris called Hippowdon back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Latias!
    Pointed stones dug into Latias!

    The foe's Ferrothorn used Thunder Wave!
    Latias was paralyzed!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Latias is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    [​IMG]

    Unfortunate, although Latias amusingly still outspeeds Ferrothorn. I choose to keep her in to set up screens, possibly allowing a midgame sweep from Lucario/Terrakion.


    Turn 10

    Latias used Light Screen!
    Light Screen raised Bitey Idris's team special defense!

    The foe's Ferrothorn used Leech Seed!
    Latias was seeded!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Latias is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Latias is sapped by leech seed.
    [​IMG]

    Nothing out of the ordinary here. I might as well put Reflect up; even though he'll have the momentum by this point, my screens should allow me to bring a sweeper in.


    Turn 11

    za called Ferrothorn back!
    za sent out Spiritomb!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Spiritomb!

    The foe's Spiritomb is exerting its pressure!

    Latias used Reflect!
    Reflect raised Bitey Idris's team defense!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Spiritomb is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Latias is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Spiritomb restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Latias is sapped by leech seed.
    [​IMG]

    Time to get Latias out of here. There's no need to use Healing Wish, as everyone's at decent health, and Latias is at high enough life that I can hopefully bring her again later to pass it off when I need it. Going to Lucario is out of the question against Spiritomb, and I'm not quite sure how well Terrakion would match up (especially since he's still got that Scarfed Hydreigon around for revenge killing), so I send out Scizor. It might seem odd to set up screens and then not send in a setup sweeper, but they still help substantially - and with Light Clay, my screens will be around for a while. If Scizor had been fatally weakened earlier by Starmie, I would have gone to Rotom-W to force Spiritomb out an, like, Scizor, keep momentum in my favor.


    Turn 12

    Bitey Idris called Latias back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Scizor!
    Pointed stones dug into Scizor!

    The foe's Spiritomb used Calm Mind!
    The foe's Spiritomb's Special Attack rose!
    The foe's Spiritomb's Special Defense rose!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Spiritomb is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Spiritomb restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    I'm not too surprised that he tried to CM on my switch out, but there's no way he's keeping Spiritomb in against Scizor. Pursuit is the obvious move, though in hindsight, I should perhaps have just U-turned for momentum's sake.


    Turn 13

    The foe's Spiritomb is being sent back!

    Scizor used Pursuit!
    The foe's Spiritomb lost 36% of its health!

    za called Spiritomb back!
    za sent out Infernape!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Infernape!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Infernape is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    [​IMG]

    And out comes Infernape, who I'm definitely worried about. Latias can take his STAB moves, but she's at low health and won't be able to do much back with only Dragon Pulse as an attacking move. Rotom-W will be able to take the fire move I predict (or a U-turn), and keep momentum in my favor.


    Turn 14

    Bitey Idris called Scizor back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Rotom-W!
    Pointed stones dug into Rotom-W!

    The foe's Infernape used Overheat!
    It's not very effective... Rotom-W lost 22% of its health!
    The foe's Infernape's Special Attack sharply fell!
    The foe's Infernape is hurt by its life orb!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Rotom-W is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Infernape is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    [​IMG]

    Overheat + Life Orb, so Infernape's almost assuredly using its classed Mixed Wallbreaking set. Good to know. He knows I'm scarfed, and thus he won't stay in on an expected Hydro Pump. I expect he'll be going to Ferrothorn, but I'm not quite sure - he could bring out Hydreigon - so I'll go with the good old Volt Switch instead of HP Fire.


    Turn 15

    za called Infernape back!
    za sent out Ferrothorn!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Ferrothorn!

    Rotom-W used Volt Switch!
    It's not very effective... The foe's Ferrothorn lost 9% of its health!

    As expected, Ferrothorn. Screens are still up, and he doesn't know my Terrakion is a SubSD set; the surprise value plus my momentum advantage should give me an opportunity to set up and take out a 'mon or two.


    Bitey Idris called Rotom-W back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Terrakion!
    Pointed stones dug into Terrakion!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Ferrothorn restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    He'll switch out Ferrothorn, expecting a Choiced Close Combat; I can Sub on the switch and go to town.


    Turn 16

    za called Ferrothorn back!
    za sent out Spiritomb!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Spiritomb!

    The foe's Spiritomb is exerting its pressure!

    Terrakion used Substitute!
    Terrakion made a substitute!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Spiritomb is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Spiritomb restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    Out comes the Spiritomb, expecting to laugh off a Close Combat...and instead Terrakon's hiding behind screens and a sub. With no pressure here, I'll Swords Dance; none of Spiritomb's moves will be able to break the sub, and I can kill it with Stone Edge.


    Turn 17

    Terrakion used Swords Dance!
    Terrakion's Attack sharply rose!

    The foe's Spiritomb used Shadow Ball!
    Terrakion's substitute took the damage!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Spiritomb is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Spiritomb restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Bitey Idris's light screen wore off!
    [​IMG]

    I was expecting CM to try and break through my sub, or Dark Pulse since that's the listed move on the site's analysis, but whatever. Even if Stone Edge misses, I'm doing fine.

    Turn 18

    Terrakion used Stone Edge!
    The attack of Terrakion missed!

    The foe's Spiritomb used Hidden Power!
    It's super-effective! Terrakion's substitute faded!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Spiritomb is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Spiritomb restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Bitey Idris's reflect wore off!
    [​IMG]

    *sigh* I hate 80% accuracy. It's no matter here, though with my Sub down Terrakion won't be able to sweep his whole team. Now, if he misses next turn, we'd have problems.


    Turn 19

    Terrakion used Stone Edge!
    Terrakion's Rock Gem increases Stone Edge's power!
    The foe's Spiritomb lost 40% of its health!

    The foe's Spiritomb fainted!
    The sandstorm rages!

    za sent out Hydreigon!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Hydreigon!
    [​IMG]

    Thankfully, the second time's a charm, and Spiritomb goes down. This'll clear the way for a Lucario sweep later. For now, Hydreigon will easily be able to kill Terrakion, so I switch him out. At this point in the match, I don't really mind sacrificing Hippowdon, so out comes the fat hippo.


    Turn 20

    Bitey Idris called Terrakion back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Hippowdon!
    Pointed stones dug into Hippowdon!

    The foe's Hydreigon used Earth Power!
    Hippowdon lost 33% of its health!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Hydreigon is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Hippowdon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    Earth Power...? Ok...? Well, I'm not complaining about having Hippowdon still around. I go ahead and Slack Off to get back up near full; I'm expecting him to bring in Ferrothorn, but EQ won't do all that much to the world's most annoying durian.


    Turn 21

    za called Hydreigon back!
    za sent out Ferrothorn!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Ferrothorn!

    Hippowdon used Slack Off!
    Hippowdon regained health!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Hippowdon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    The foe's Ferrothorn restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    [​IMG]

    Once again, as expected. I'm guessing a Leech Seed is incoming; I go to Latias, who'll be able to heal Terrakion back up, bring him in safely, and get rid of the seeds.


    Turn 22

    Bitey Idris called Hippowdon back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Latias!
    Pointed stones dug into Latias!

    The foe's Ferrothorn used Leech Seed!
    Latias was seeded!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Latias is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    The foe's Ferrothorn restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Latias is sapped by leech seed.
    [​IMG]

    Poor Latias...paralyzed, seeded, near death, and asked to make a heroic sacrifice. Ah well, she does it pretty much every game and hasn't complained yet. :D


    Turn 23

    Latias used Healing Wish!

    Latias fainted!

    The foe's Ferrothorn used Power Whip!
    But there was no target...
    The sandstorm rages!

    Bitey Idris sent out Terrakion!
    The healing wish came true!
    Terrakion regained health!
    Pointed stones dug into Terrakion!
    [​IMG]


    Since he now knows I have Substitute, there's no point in me using it; Ferrothorn's just going to smack me with Power Whip. Using Close Combat means Terrakion will be KO'd, but it'll either kill Ferrothorn or weaken it enough that I can effortlessly clean up.


    Turn 24

    Terrakion used Close Combat!
    It's super-effective! The foe's Ferrothorn lost 87% of its health!
    The foe's Ferrothorn's Iron Barbs hurts Terrakion!
    Terrakion's Defense fell!
    Terrakion's Special Defense fell!

    The foe's Ferrothorn used Power Whip!
    It's super-effective! Terrakion lost 81% of its health!

    Terrakion fainted!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Fare thee well, Terrakion, and may flights of Altarias sing thee to thy rest. With Ferrothorn down at a measly 20%, Scizor will be able to kill it easily. I don't go Lucario here because while he could also kill Ferro, he'd just get revenged by Infernape. Note that even if Scizor was dead from the Hydro Pump at the start, I could have just brought in Rotom-W to finish off Ferrothorn.


    The foe's Ferrothorn restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    Bitey Idris sent out Scizor!
    Pointed stones dug into Scizor!
    [​IMG]

    U-turn will do enough to wipe out Ferro, and I can bring Hippowdon back out to sacrifice.


    Turn 25

    Scizor used U-turn!
    The foe's Ferrothorn lost 18% of its health!

    The foe's Ferrothorn fainted!
    The foe's Ferrothorn's Iron Barbs hurts Scizor!

    Bitey Idris called Scizor back!
    Bitey Idris sent out Hippowdon!
    Pointed stones dug into Hippowdon!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Hippowdon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    za sent out Infernape!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Infernape!
    [​IMG]


    Infernape comes out to no surprise. I go ahead and mindlessly click Earthquake.


    Turn 26

    The foe's Infernape used Hidden Power!
    It's super-effective! Hippowdon lost 49% of its health!
    The foe's Infernape is hurt by its life orb!

    Hippowdon used Earthquake!
    It's super-effective! The foe's Infernape lost 43% of its health!

    The foe's Infernape fainted!
    The sandstorm rages!

    Hippowdon restored a little HP using its Leftovers!
    za sent out Hydreigon!
    Pointed stones dug into the foe's Hydreigon!
    [​IMG]

    Turns out that earlier Slack Off was actually relevant! Even if Hippowdon had died to Infernape, I would have used Rotom-W to revenge Infernape and get Hydreigon Choice-locked, leaving him easy prey for Lucario. Even assuming Scizor had died all the way back at the start from Starmie's Hydro Pump, Lucario would have been able to finish the job. I have no expectations of Hippowdon surviving a dragon's wrath, but the match is over at this point.


    Turn 27

    The foe's Hydreigon used Draco Meteor!
    Hippowdon lost 57% of its health!

    Hippowdon fainted!
    The foe's Hydreigon's Special Attack sharply fell!
    The sandstorm rages!

    The foe's Hydreigon is buffeted by the sandstorm!
    Bitey Idris sent out Scizor!
    Pointed stones dug into Scizor!
    [​IMG]

    And out comes Scizor for the finishing blow. Again, note that if Scizor was dead, Lucario could have come in, tanked a Draco Meteor, and easily killed Hydreigon.

    Turn 28

    Scizor used Bullet Punch!
    The foe's Hydreigon lost 44% of its health!

    The foe's Hydreigon fainted!

    Bitey Idris won the battle!
    [​IMG]

    And that's a wrap!

    Props:
    -Terrakion. It got one solid kill and weakened Ferrothorn enough to open a hole in my opponent's defense. I love the SubSD set, it's absolutely amazing.
    -Ferrothorn. It was by far my biggest obstacle in this match, with its famous defense combined with the ability to disrupt my offensive core.
    -Lucario. He only came out briefly, but it was for a very crucial turn. Furthermore, his presence in reserve gave me a resiliency that would have let me win even if a couple more things had gone against me.

    Slops:
    -Hax, primarily Starmie's miss on the first turn. If that had hit, this would definitely have been a more interesting fight.
    -Spiritomb, for not being terribly useful. While it could tank my physical attackers, it couldn't do much back, unlike Ferrothorn. It's down in RU for a reason.

    Perhaps the most important thing to take away from this battle, I think, is the importance of momentum. VoltTurn is a commonly spammed used strategy for a reason; it lets the user dictate the tempo and flow of a match, giving them opportunities to break through the opponent's defenses. On my team, Terrakion is the third major partner with this tactic due to his raw power. The threat of an extraordinarily fast and powerful attacker forces many switches, allowing me to easily get Substitutes up, then set up or just wreck face with his STABs.

    I hope you enjoyed reading this, and feel free to comment on the match or the writing to your heart's content! Criticism is quite welcome; it'll definitely help me improve as a player and as a writer.
  2. bluemon

    bluemon

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2010
    Messages:
    1,519
    good commentary, decent formating, but the battle was very mediocre. the opponent made some huge mistakes
  3. ginganinja

    ginganinja Dating Haunter
    is a Forum Moderatoris a CAP Contributoris a Contributor to Smogonis a Community Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2009
    Messages:
    3,700
    Agreeing with buemon here,You outplayed your opponent, well done, but the battle itself was average. You also had a fairly large team advantage where Conkeldurr was the only check towards 2 of your sweepers and you had a DS Latias with Healing Wish to clean up soooo...

    That said, it was very well written and props on that since its very hard to write a good warstory. Just pick a better battle next time and im sure that it will be awesome.
  4. Ray Freak

    Ray Freak

    Joined:
    May 16, 2012
    Messages:
    1
    agreed
  5. Challenger

    Challenger

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2011
    Messages:
    99
    I'll echo the others who have commented: great format, well-written, battle was just ordinary, and hampered by hax and mistake plays.
  6. .-Lucky

    .-Lucky

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2010
    Messages:
    41
    very bad battle, good formatting and comments, pick a better battle next time, since this opponent wasn't really a good one. 4/10
  7. Jimera0

    Jimera0 You don't understand, Edgar is the one in the hole!

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2010
    Messages:
    1,637
    Oh shut up, an ordinary battle a terrible warstory does not make. Ticks me off when a person makes a good warstory with great formatting and commentary but gets attacked because the battle was average. You people have any idea how infrequently really good battles for warstorying come along? Being a veteran warstory writer myself, I can tell you it isn't often, and when you're itching to write a warstory it is ridiculously easy to just go "screw it" and pick an average fight. Also, frequently a battle will seem a lot more epic immediately after the fact than it does after you start writing it up. I know I've ended up scrapping several warstories in progress due to this effect.

    But yes, this is a fairly average battle. Your opponent was, quite frankly, very underwhelming and never at any point was there any question that you'd win the fight. Still, you've got the commentary and formatting down pat, and that's a good sign for the future. You just need to work on your eye for what makes a good warstory battle and you'll be set. Don't be discouraged by people who clearly don't know what they're talking about eh?
    JMach likes this.
  8. Acritter

    Acritter

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2009
    Messages:
    454
    A meh battle makes for a meh story. No matter how many pretty words you shove into it, you can't put strategy and tension into a battle that doesn't have it. Stop being overprotective. The guy wrote nicely, his formatting was good, but the battle was pretty miserable. Doesn't mean he should give up, just focus on finding a better battle to work with next time. It does nobody any good to praise mediocrity.
  9. Ithilanor

    Ithilanor

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2010
    Messages:
    240
    Thanks for the compliments! I can't claim credit for the formatting - that's due to aesoft's warstory maker - but I'm glad that my comments were sufficiently interesting and insightful. I realize it wasn't the greatest of a battle; I'll try and find better battles to write about when I get better at actually playing. (Read: Get above 1100 on the ladder. I'm a lot better theorizing and analyzing than I am battling)
  10. dragonuser

    dragonuser Today, tomorrow, and always with a frozen heart
    is a Tutoris an official Team Rateris a Forum Moderatoris a Tiering Contributoris a Contributor to Smogonis a Community Contributor Alumnusis Smogon Frontier's Pyramid Kingis a Past WCoP Winner
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    Messages:
    1,979
    Really interesting read, even though the battle was a bit average it was still really enjoyable and well written. I have to agree with what Jimera said, and really encourage you to continue writing war stories.

    You have a knack for writing these ;D
  11. mailanbr

    mailanbr

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2011
    Messages:
    36
    Just a minor nitpick:
    Ferrothorn has already used Leech Seed and Stealth Rock in the previous turns, and having Spikes would be illegal, so you wouldn't have had to worry about that at all.
    Other than that, amazing war story! I really enjoy the fact that the people come to the assumption of Terrakion being Banded/Scarfed, and switch into something to counter the Stone Edge/Close Combat, and that you take advantage of that.
  12. CrackinSkulls

    CrackinSkulls

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2012
    Messages:
    208
    Hey nice title i wrote an RMT a few weeks ago called dance like a dragon sting like a bee. a have to agree with the aformentioned statements the battle itself was not that great however keep at it because your storytelling and formatting made it easy and pleasant to read.
  13. kd24

    kd24 lemme just whip my dick out and slam it on the table
    is a Pokemon Researcheris a Site Staff Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Smogon IRC SOp Alumnusis a Smogon Media Contributor Alumnusis a Tiering Contributor Alumnusis a Contributor Alumnusis a Battle Server Moderator Alumnus

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2007
    Messages:
    5,271
    wtf why are you so angry. the guy gave his opinion.

    i agree with that other guy, it was a bad battle. the opponent didn't seem good and you had a huge team advantage as well. it would have been over quickly with terrak without that miss. the opening miss with starmie, while not playing a huge role, is usually a deterrent to people reading who go "oh hax already".

    try to pick one with a better opponent. formatting was good, the comments were short but told us what you were going to do rather than what you just did. those are both strong points. but seriously pick a better battle, it would suck to squander your warstory talent on mediocre games.
  14. bluemon

    bluemon

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2010
    Messages:
    1,519
    @jimera0

    i can se where you are coming from as i have written countless warstories too (5?) but i think that if you have a bad battle, dont warstory it.
  15. Ithilanor

    Ithilanor

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2010
    Messages:
    240
    A large reason of why I did this was to practice warstorying and get feedback on my writing.

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)