what if vaginas had abilities though (very nsfw [and crass])

Discussion in 'Smogon's Greatest Hits' started by Glen, Aug 7, 2010.

  1. Glen

    Glen
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    inspired by an incredible discussion i had with fishy. it's pretty impressive how many of these work (and yes this is every ability, with one fifth gen ability!!!)

    adaptability: this would be a pretty swell vagina! no matter what you're packin', this vagina can handle it and then some!

    aftermath: uh oh. there is no way this would end well.

    air lock: for when your sexual congress gets interrupted by bad weather???

    anger point: i theorized an anger point vagina as having a reverse g-spot; a spot that, when hit, triggers IMMENSE RAGE

    anticipation: when a vagina shudders with anticipation, you know you're doing something right

    arena trap: THERE'S NO ESCAPE

    bad dreams: just don't let it fall asleep dummy!!!!

    battle armor: for the ultimate in protection

    blaze: probably best to avoid this vagina

    chlorophyll: maybe she wanted to be chlorofilled up?????

    clear body: for the dude who gets off on seeing his own dick

    cloud nine: an all-around pleasant vagina

    color change: JK IM BLACK

    compound eyes: this is alarming for a lot of reasons

    cute charm: definitely one of the better vaginas

    damp: this might seem like a good vagina until you realize it prevents explosions

    download: something just seems very dangerous about this vagina

    drizzle: pretty yucky but certainly miles above the next one

    drought: good luck with this one bro

    dry skin: oof!!

    early bird: this vagina really gets the worm?????

    effect spore: don't worry it's only a 30% chance

    filter: the vagina that's also a liver

    flame body: potentially worse than blaze

    flash fire: again, definitely one to be wary of

    flower gift: a vagina only has this ability once!

    forecast: expect some waterworks if it turns into a rain cloud

    frisk: there is nothing more endearing than a frisky vagina!

    gluttony: definitely a slutty vagina

    guts: who doesn't love a vagina with guts?

    heatproof: always useful i suppose

    honey gather: i'm intrigued

    huge power: nothing is more attractive to me than a fucking powerful vagina. girls, take note.

    hustle: the vagina that gets shit DONE

    hydration: just an all-around good ability to have

    hyper cutter: no

    ice body: brrrrr i don't think so

    illuminate: when her vag starts glowing, you know it's time to make a move

    illusion: JK ITS REALLY A COCK

    immunity: you can breathe a sigh of relief

    inner focus: i imagine this vagina just maintains composure through the entirety of it

    insomnia: BABE I KNOW YOU WERE ASLEEP BUT YOUR VAGINA SURE WASNT

    intimidate: quite complicated. is it just so beautiful that you're intimidated? or is it just straight up scary? truly an enigma of a vagina

    iron fist: probably takes control of the situation

    keen eye: this one raises more questions than it answers

    klutz: lovable! the minstrel of the vagina world

    leaf guard: [​IMG]

    levitate: could be useful if you're doing something sassy

    lightning rod: DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY

    limber: there is nothing worse than doing the nasty and having her just get paralyzed right in the middle; not anymore!!!

    liquid ooze: its one of those things thats a good thing but you dont really like hearing about you know?

    magic guard: a much safer vagina

    magma armor: jesus

    magnet pull: to get the full effect from a vibrator

    marvel scale: makes for a nice bulky vagina

    minus: is this just like, not having a vagina?

    mold breaker: really goes the distance in terms of breaking away from the norm

    motor drive: you know this one's gonna be exciting

    multitype: i don't know how to feel about this one

    natural cure: like immunity, this is the fearless vagina

    no guard: better not go out in public

    normalize: i'd assume this makes every experience satisfactory? the vagina for ck

    oblivious: BABE COME ON PAY ATTENTION

    overgrow: come on ladies, don't let this happen

    own tempo: i can respect a vagina that does its own thing, as long as it doesn't develop the preceding ability

    pick up: free items after sex? sign me up

    plus: one is enough, seriously

    poison heal: that's... a relief

    poison point: better be careful

    pressure: the vagina that always makes the first move

    pure power: even more enjoyable than a huge power vagina

    quick feet: if this vagina gets burned it'll move faster you say?

    rain dish: i don't think so

    reckless: this vagina doesn't give a FUCK

    rivalry: truly the vagina for lesbians

    rock head: nothing but trouble, this one

    rough skin: would it even be worth it? i mean how hot would she have to be?

    run away: BABE COME BACK

    sand stream: oh god

    sand veil: oh dear god

    scrappy: the lovable scamp of vaginas. PLUS youd totally be able to do it with ghosts? what girl wouldnt want that???

    serene grace: sounds ok until you realize that there really aren't any positive 'secondary effects' from intercourse

    shadow tag: a more potent version of the arena trap vagina

    shed skin: jesus

    shell armor: probably best to not bother

    shield dust: is this usually a problem ladies? clarify please

    simple: there is nothing wrong with a straight up, no-surprises, simple vagina

    skill link: for the very frisky among us

    slow start: it might take YEARS to get her to put out

    sniper: one thrust and BOOM

    snow cloak: really just not useful

    snow warning: i don't think i'd like this very much

    solar power: it hurts her though...

    solid rock: wrong gender

    soundproof: good?

    speed boost: by turn 6 shit would just be out of control

    stall: the most annoying type of vagina by far

    static: could add a little excitement i suppose

    steadfast: this is one resolute vagina

    stench: fuck

    sticky hold: not a good idea

    storm drain: that sounds... potent

    sturdy: this is just one of those top notch vaginas

    suction cups: uh

    super luck: a gal would get all the hot dudes with this one

    swarm: there are many interpretations for this one, none of them are appealing

    swift swim: how would this work

    synchronize: a useful ability

    tangled feet: if she gets confused you are NOT getting it in there

    technician: the pro's vagina

    thick fat: i don't think it's worth the fire and ice protection

    tinted lens: even when it's not that good, it's still pretty good

    torrent: i can't tell if this is better or worse than storm drain

    trace: would this copy my dick?

    truant: the vagina that's never around when you want it

    unaware: see oblivious

    unburden: well that's a load off my back!

    vital spirit: no complaints about this vagina

    volt absorb: the kind of ability that probably would never get put to the test

    water absorb: no need for pads maybe??

    water veil: burn protection helps

    white smoke: what the fuck

    wonder guard: i think this would be like, the girl would feel absolutely nothing until the big o. probably not the best.
  2. TPM

    TPM

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    What is this I don't even?
    God this made me lol so hard/
    ****** thread.
  3. Deck Knight

    Deck Knight prominent CAP users
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    How the hell do you miss Earthquake Spiral? That sounds like a pretty good vagina to me. (This of course assumes Thick Fat is not her secondary ability.)
  4. TPM

    TPM

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    EQ Spiral would make for one hell of a MILF
  5. Fatecrashers

    Fatecrashers acta est fabula
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    Other 5th Gen Theoryvag:

    Pigeon Heart: The vagina that coos

    Encourage: It's all good she's totally into it

    TurboBlaze: Biggest burn ever

    TeraVoltage: An utterly shocking experience

    Dust-Proof: Never worry about sand again

    Telepathy: Yeah, she knows what you like
  6. Max

    Max yadig
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    hahaha

    this thread followed through on the title, very crass indeed
  7. moot

    moot

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    glen you are my fucking hero
  8. Imran

    Imran
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    fucking hell glen
  9. darkie

    darkie Uglison Brie
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    "discussion"
  10. monkfish

    monkfish what are birds?
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    agree w/ op
  11. Alan

    Alan

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    hahaha

    this might be better than your 5k thread
  12. TEA_DEMON

    TEA_DEMON

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    10/10

    Leaf Guard is best.
  13. popemobile

    popemobile

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    only words i read in the op but god fuckin damn i give up you win glen
  14. Swaggersaurus

    Swaggersaurus I DON'T NEED A MAN
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    p sure this is how they actually work...?
  15. Fizz

    Fizz

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    Trojan begs to differ.
    [​IMG]
    Get it? Protection? Heeheehee
  16. Blue_Tornado

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    suction cups is summed up nicely
  17. the interwebs

    the interwebs

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    this is possibly the best thread i have ever seen
  18. DM

    DM Ce soir, on va danser.
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    hahahaha, well played all around in this thread
  19. Fishy

    Fishy

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    ahahahhah sonofabitch glen, if i would have made this thread my street cred would have gone SKY-HIGH
    but you do it and you're just gonna keep on trucking, how's the weather up there in COOLDOM
    nah i'm just kidding, this had to be shown somehow, and i'll give my 2 cents and show you all how such a marvelous idea started between glen and i in conversing:

    (12:55:19 AM) teen creeps: someone needs to train their vagina more
    (12:55:22 AM) teen creeps: so it never loses its focus
    (12:55:33 AM) Fishy: more like someone's vagina needs thick fat
    (12:55:36 AM) Fishy: so it doesn't get all tore up??
    (12:55:37 AM) teen creeps: ooooof
    (12:55:40 AM) Fishy: ahahah OOOOOOOOOOOOF
    (12:55:58 AM) teen creeps: plus it could withstand fire
    (12:55:58 AM) Fishy: my girlfriend is a bitch
    (12:56:02 AM) Fishy: her vagina is OBLIVIOUS
    (12:56:06 AM) teen creeps: hahaha
    (12:56:34 AM) teen creeps: just let her vagina go at her OWN TEMPO ok

    so it starts about there, i was watcing "the REAL L word" which is just a hardcore lesbian reality or something other show on Showtime at night, so you know it's rated TV MA up in this bitch, and jesus christ, how appropriate was that


    (1:17:29 AM) Fishy: natural cure vagina
    (1:17:31 AM) Fishy: pretty boss??
    (1:17:35 AM) Fishy: NO REGRETS
    (1:17:40 AM) Fishy: FEARLESS
    (1:17:51 AM) teen creeps: hahahaha
    (1:17:52 AM) teen creeps: BRING IT ON BOYS
  20. ivar

    ivar

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    don't even try fishy, you'll never be as cool
  21. Blue Kirby

    Blue Kirby Never back down.
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    SHOUT OUTS
  22. Ramblin Wreck

    Ramblin Wreck

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    Fishy watches "The L Word" on Showtime BYAAAAAAH
  23. Swaggersaurus

    Swaggersaurus I DON'T NEED A MAN
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    look at this kid tryin to get in on glen's coolsies
  24. Brammi

    Brammi

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  25. Fishy

    Fishy

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    man I do NOT watch the L word, the station was just left on by my grandfather and i could not be fucked to change the channel

    i really hate the use of that phrase but man that's just exactly how it was

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