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What's the worst thing you've ever done? (super serious guys don't fuck about)

Discussion in 'Congregation of the Masses' started by VKCA, Feb 3, 2013.

  1. Swaggersaurus

    Swaggersaurus I DON'T NEED A MAN
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  2. Dracoyoshi8

    Dracoyoshi8 weapon of mass seduction
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    I accidentally broke off the tail of a water snake I was handling when I was younger

    Didn't think it was a big deal until a year later when I learned male snakes keep their junk in their tails

    Now I feel like a douche
  3. mattj

    mattj blatant Nintendo fanboy

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    some friends and i came across two box turtles getting it on in the middle of the woods

    kicked the dude turtle clear across the woods

    never saw it coming
  4. Glen

    Glen
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    hahaha oh my god that's so perfectly uncomfortable

    i think the worst thing i've ever done was back in grade 9. i was this really shitty, unlovable kid, and i was uncomfortable all the time and i felt like nobody liked me (they probably didnt), so whenever i had gym class i'd pick on this obvious nerd kid to try to fit in with the cool kids, even though in retrospect i don't think they even picked on him very much.

    it's been like a decade and i still think about it once in a while and feel like shit. i was a bully once. it's just one of those things that will always stick with me.
  5. Adamant Zoroark

    Adamant Zoroark formerly LucaroarkZ

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    I feel like this could be interpreted in more ways than one.

    Either way, that's such a terrible thing to do that it's funny. You wouldn't want someone to kick you while you were having sex, would you? So don't do it to that poor turtle.
  6. Shiny Magikarp

    Shiny Magikarp

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    One time, my friend said his foot hurt so I stepped on it. It was bleeding later.
    Also one time I called a kid a (BAN ME PLEASE) and they called me a (BAN ME PLEASE) back. They got a detention or something.
    That is all. (I have a boring Life.)
  7. Steamroll

    Steamroll resident zombie
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    Jesus christ Mattj I almost spit my soda all over the screen.
  8. Milos

    Milos

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    i don't think i've ever done something truly horrible, but there has been some bad things. when i was like 10 years old i broke into my friends apartment downstairs (we were pretty close, and he always kept his door unlocked) to look for him. there was nobody in the house. as i was about to turn around and leave i saw his little folder of precious yugioh cards. i was a big yugioh collector at the time, so i picked out like 3 or 4 of his good cards and stole them. he moved like 6 months later and we were never really close, but to this day he doesn't know (shit, sometimes i even forget i stole them).

    also one time, when i was around 13 or 14, i had to go with my mom to some church assembly (which wasn't even at the church) and all the kids could stay outside if they wanted. i went outside with like 4 or 5 other kids and it had previously rained that night, so a bunch of huge frogs were just chilling in the soaked grass. one kid got a rock and threw it at the frogs and eventually we kept throwing bigger and bigger rocks and i'm pretty sure i threw a rock and absolutely smashed and killed one of these frogs. i felt pretty bad about it afterwards, especially since this was done outside of some church meeting.
  9. Molk

    Molk rip houndoom
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    Man ive done a lot of really dumb shit lol, but i guess i can only pick one thing so ill just mention the most recent thing ive done.

    So, my dad lost his sense of smell when he was a kid because he thought that snorting aerosol was a good idea, apparently he'd do it every so often to get a bit of a buzz, and eventually lost his sense of smell thanks to an inflamed olfactory nerve.

    After hearing this story, i decided to do something really stupid, i took a bunch of eggs and cold cuts and stuffed them into the pockets of every pair of pants he owned. Eventually the eggs and meat rotted, and every article of clothing he had started to smell absolutely horrible, to the point where he made his boss gag. The entire time this was going on he was completely unaware that i had stuck rotten eggs and outdated cold cuts into every pair of pants he owned, because well, he couldnt smell anything for shit. Eventually there was a meeting at his job regarding the smell and he ended up having to engage in an embarrasing intervention with his coworkers and boss about his "personal hygiene problems", with the threat of being laid off if he didnt fix the horrible odor asap. Because of this i eventually had to come clean and show him the rotten eggs and shit that i had hidden in his trousers, so i got grounded, and he had to buy a completely new set of clothes because the odor was so strong it was lingering even after the offensive items were removed.

    im a jerk .-.
  10. Stallion

    Stallion I get so much action, my name should be a verb
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    If nothing else, this thread makes me feel like less of a dick after reading everyones stuff. Especially mattj hahaha I feel terrible for laughing!
  11. Fishy

    Fishy

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    i'm more worried about the fact that your father could walk around with filled pockets of eggs and obviously weighty meat, and not feel a difference….?
  12. More Cowbell

    More Cowbell

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    That may have been my evil English clone, then. I'll keep him in the shed from now on.
  13. The Diverman

    The Diverman

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    When I was 13, for about 6 months, me and a friend were on this shoplifting spree. I remember my friend showing me how easy it was and the thrill the took over. We mostly stole candy and trading cards (thug life), until we finally got caught at a walmart. I'm actually glad I was caught since, it was escalating.(I almost stole money from my church, but guilt got to me, yeah it was that bad) I wasn't arrested since my dad was there, but I was charged. I had to do some community service, go to this class for troubled teens, and I had to pay for damages towards the store. Though the worse part was the disappointment of my family, but I don't really want to go into that since it........ wasn't a good time. Thinking back on it, it's strange, since I think it made me a better person, so I don't really regret it, but it certainly wasn't a highlight.
  14. Faint

    Faint Valar morghulis
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    when I was 13, I went on my first spree~

    my friends and I used to steal yugioh cards at our local summer camp/after school program from other kids. we called ourselves "the rare hunters" like the group from the show. generally we only cared about the holos since back then every other card was useless. we had some pretty intricate ways of stealing them for a bunch of 8 year olds.

    on a similar note when I was 7 I stole a pack of mini m&m's from a local store 24, you know the ones with the flip top that pretty much encourage you to drink them? like the dumbass I was I decided to put them in my pocket and run around. my mom heard rattling or w/e and asked what was in my pocket. obviously she found them and asked where I got them. she figured out i stole them and made me return them. i remember crying the entire way back to the store. i put them on the counter and the cashier looked at me confused as hell not realizing i had stole them. i don't know if my mom mentioned it to him because i don't remember what happened after.

    the funny thing is my mom doesn't remember this at all, because i've mentioned it to her a few times and she has no idea what i'm talking about. but it's stuck with me my entire life.
  15. shade

    shade sweet like sugar
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    i once stole a dog from a garden when walking home from a night out that involved a stupid amount of drinking. nevertheless i was very surprised when i woke up with a dog in my dorms room. checked its collar and returned it to the owner in the morning and i told him that the dog had run away and i'd found it in the street. the owner insisted i take some money for my troubles and being a piss poor student i took the money and acclaim of being a dog saver. probably shouldnt have taken the money but the guy was pretty insistent...

    im just glad it didnt shit on my carpet
  16. Fishy

    Fishy

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    i doted on myself with the five-finger discount countless times when i was a teenager. when i actually got caught, it was like something out of a nightmare. i was hanging out with a girl name Shea in Maryland, as my family and i were there for my cousin's wedding. we had been at the mall for a while, and had so much shit in our bags at this time - shirts, jewelry, bathing suits, whatever we could slyly sneak out of a store. before we were about to leave (home free!) we were in a Macy's, and i was looking at make up. at this point i was kind of nervous, and didn't really want to take anything anymore, but i decided i would just snag this tube of mascara and that would be the last thing to take.

    i walked around the security thresholds and squeezed past the last one and the wall, slipping out undetected by the alarms, as did my friend. we walked maybe twenty feet before two men in black came from another hall, and asked us what we were doing (despite bypassing the alarms, everything was seen on camera)

    this is the part that still blows my mind. after taking out everything from our bags, my "friend" immediately starts crying, claiming that "i didn't know she was doing this!!" and "my parents are cops, trust me, i know the consequences for stealing, i would never!!" and basically acting hysterical while the security guards look me up and down like i was the delinquent problem my friend had to deal with. (i was 15 and she was 17 i think?) yadayada, i'm taken back behind the store to the security room and one of the guards questions me about my age (i lied and said i was 14) and my mother was called. she picked me up and was furious, and i was grounded the rest of the trip in maryland, sitting in my aunt's basement and feeling the disappointment reek from everyone's eyes that looked at me.

    what boggled my mind is that i would talk to this girl a few days afterward, and she didn't apologize for completely outing me and saving herself. she acted like it never happened, and i was the only one who did anything wrong. fucking BITCH
  17. Stagnant

    Stagnant

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    Hooked up with both of my younger siblings best friends.
  18. Faint

    Faint Valar morghulis
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    scared me there for a second big boy.
  19. Stagnant

    Stagnant

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    oops forgot the "and their"

    Hooked up with both of my younger siblings and their best friends.

    I jest
  20. Basileus

    Basileus

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    ok guys, get ready for this, it is some pretty heavy sh*t:

    I stole an extra slice of pizza from the school cafeteria in sixth grade. I know right?
  21. erisia

    erisia (macho) brace yourselves
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    Paid for lunch at secondary school in Icelandic Krona on multiple occasions. I live in England... :p
  22. scampy

    scampy

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    OK, so me and two friends were trying to build dens in a part of the woods that we wanted to sleep overnight in. It was a good haunt but fairly open.

    The three of us were found by a couple of guys about 4 years older than us, who we were no match for in terms of a fight. They said they were going to come back with more people and trash the place up, undoing all our hard work.

    So... We couldn't win this, but we could lay a trap. We took a bucket, and a trowel. We proceeded to fill it with dog turds that littered the main trails of the woods that lazy owners didn't bother to scoop up. We mixed them with a little water so it all sloshed together.

    Then, we dug a nice deep hole in the centre of our camp. We put the bucket of awful in the hole and covered the top with branches and dirt to keep it hidden. Hiding the hole was fine, but you can imagine the smell at this point, which was harder to mask. In fact I'm pretty sure one of us took a whiz in it too.

    Trap set. It was time to leave the area and find a safe spot to watch from the distance, unseen.

    About an hour later, as promised, we see the thugs stroll into the campsite. They look a little disappointed presumably because they wanted us to still be there to watch them trash our site. They are also a little puzzled about the smell.

    The leader of the group takes a few steps forward, and we notice his leg disappear into the hole. It takes him a good few seconds to realise what's just happened. He looks pissed. His scream of rage echos across the entire wood.

    One of my friends bails. He legs it out of the clearing, completely giving away our position. Me and the other have to run for our lives too now. We run for a good 5 minutes before we're sure we lost them.

    We never saw those guys again, fortunately!
  23. Outlaw

    Outlaw

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    You know, some of these stories are entirely justified, and some of these stories makes me think you are the most horrible group of people in the world.
  24. qxc

    qxc

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    lol dude that sounds pretty risky, those guys would have murdered you if they caught you
  25. VKCA

    VKCA (Virtual Circus Kareoky Act)

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    If the worst thing you've ever done is lifting from a mega-chain you're basically a saint.
    j/s

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