|« Previous Article||Home||Next Article »|
In the game of Pokémon, most foes fall with extraordinary ease. Your over-leveled Pokémon prove much too powerful for their flimsy defenses and horrific strategy. Every now and then, however, there are those Pokémon that make you want to throw your Game Boy or DS across the room. Often, said Game Boy or DS makes it across the room. It seems as though these Pokémon were designed just to make you mad. The Pokémon that will be presented in this article represent the most evil concoctions Game Freak has made over the generations.
Thank you, Platinum, for creating what is one of the most difficult Pokémon to catch in any game. Although some are hard to find, Regigigas is just a total disaster. First, you need to trade over all of the Regis from RSE, so you need a DS Lite in order to even have a shot at awakening it. Regigigas must have had a very long near-death experience involving weed or something, as there are plants grown all over it. Once you finally obtain the ability to fight it, Regigigas doesn't put up much of a fight. Rather than being a menace, Regigigas appears at level 1. This is at a point in the game where you've gotten past the Elite Four and opened Pal Park. You can't really chip away at its health, as any Pokémon near its level is either walled by Regigigas or easily killed by it. Additionally, it still has the oh-so-hated legendary Pokémon catch rate of three. This essentially means that you have to aimlessly throw Poké Balls at Regigigas for an eternity until you finally catch it. It is quite the tedious exercise and is sure to make you slam your DS against the floor.
While many Pokémon are difficult to defeat, none are as infuriating to deal with as Garchomp. It certainly lives up to its DP Pokédex entry; Garchomp is indeed as fast a jet plane. It is no wonder that Cynthia can make it from one side of Sinnoh to the other in nearly no time at all. Unfortunately, Cynthia has trained her Garchomp well. It has a perfect fighting stance, with its wings(?) spread and its mouth open in such a way that Garchomp looks like it could eat you—talk about the alligator in the basement. However, Garchomp is more of a land shark. Once it is out, the whole battle becomes an episode of Shark Week gone wrong. At level 66, Garchomp is much superior to every last one of your Pokémon. It doesn't die, it outspeeds everything, and it kills everything in its path. Garchomp has a variety of options available to it, including creating an Earthquake and utilizing a Rush attack. Each of these moves catches your Pokémon by surprise and dooms them to eternal death.
There is nothing worse than a blob of gunk. Well, actually, there is: a blob of gunk that smells like horse droppings. After fighting a couple of Koga's other Pokémon, he brings out his ace in the hole: Muk. Muk is nearly impossible to kill in-game without a Ground- or Psychic-type. You can attack it all you want, but Muk never takes much damage. It then begins its process of perpetual stalling. Whenever you get it into KO range, it heals up with a Hyper Potion. It kind of resembles super glue; once it's near you, there is no escape. One free turn given to Muk could spell never-ending doom for your team. Unfortunately, that's just how the cookie crumbles; a disgusting one at that.
Ah, the many-headed hydra. In ancient Greek times, this beast was known for being torn apart by Heracles. In more recent times, it is known for being the one hard Pokémon in Ghetsis's party. As you chip away at its health, Hydreigon is throwing out a barrage of attacks. Its six-eyed leer is meant to Taunt its foes, bringing out their inner rage. It then stares at you with its dopey look. While it might seem helpful to punch it in the face, another head grows back on shortly after you do so. This is how it seems when Ghetsis uses a Hyper Potion; Hydreigon just never dies. You wish to take Hydreigon and squish it to bits, but you unfortunately have to deal with the fact that Pokémon is just a game. Alas, if only it was possible to go into the game and take this snarky Pokémon back to Heracles.
Having mastered the art of intimidation, Kingdra is undoubtedly a product of the Blackthorn City hood. While twinkling its eyes and fluttering its despicable "wings," Kingdra starts to fight. It's a fish with a 'tude and a blank stare. Is this not typical of your usual gangster? Furthermore, Clair has introduced her Kingdra to the art of smoking, making it difficult for your Pokémon to see. As a result, you have trouble hitting Kingdra. While you miss your attacks, Kingdra uses Hyper Beam; you might as well say "gg" right then and there. After having been crippled by the onslaught of paralysis brought on by Clair's trifecta of Dragonair, you have an even lower chance of hitting Kingdra. While you sit there struggling, Kingdra is just sitting back and relaxing. Too bad you can't use your Super Rod in-battle; that would put Kingdra in its fishy place.
Welcome to Cerulean City! If you travel southwest, you'll find the Bike Shop, which is famous for its ridiculous prices. If you travel northwest, you'll find a cave that no one has ever come out of alive. If you travel northeast, you'll find Nugget Bridge, which presents quite the battling challenge. Smack dab in the middle of our fine city, you'll find the Cerulean Gym. Enthused by the word "Gym," you go off on a search. After a short walk, you find the Gym. The trainers are easy. You run into a spunky young Gym Leader at the end: Misty. She has but two Pokemon. Your Charmander can't win, as they possess a Water typing. You are forced to resort to your Bellsprout or Oddish. Unfortunately, Starmie is inordinately specially powerful and bulky. Its BubbleBeam manages to deal heavy damage to even your Grass-type that resists it. It just doesn't die. The star-shaped fiend begins to rip your team apart. One by one, your Pokemon faint to BubbleBeam. It is only when you come back with multiple Oddish or Bellsprout that it finally falls. Never has such an injustice been repeated in Pokémon. At least, not until the next generation. We'll get to that later.
You've just entered Mt. Moon. With your master book of Pokémon by your side, you can see that it's a short cave with not many trainers. This all changes after a few steps inside. Suddenly, a wild Pokémon appears! Fragile in appearance, you expect to be rid of this threat quickly, as it is no match for your Charmander's Ember. No, wait, you're training an under-leveled Pokémon. Oh well, it should still be easy right? You click an attack that should KO Zubat, but it uses Supersonic. Astonishingly, it hits. Your Pokémon gets confused. Not having encountered this rather odd pseudo-status before, you go to Attack. Wait! Your Pokémon has been hit by confusion! It loses HP, and then you begin to realize the horror of Zubat in its entirety. Turn after turn, you get hit by confusion. When you finally get a chance to attack, your attack almost KOes. Not knowing that confusion will be cured upon switching out, you continue to try and attack. Your Pokemon eventually dies to confusion damage and Wing Attacks. Forced to bring out your next Pokémon, you know despair awaits. If only you had clicked the Run button...
After having beaten a few Gyms, you feel confident. While strolling down the sightseeing roads of Hoenn, you run into a rather odd Pokémon, to say the least. Its name is Pelipper. It seems confused, as though it is looking for directions to the next town. When you ask if it needs directions, it challenges you to battle. Not having ever faced this particular specimen, you decline. Unfortunately, it uses Attract to infatuate you. Meet Zubat 2.0. At least Zubat dies. This worthless piece of poultry has the audacity to actually be able to take hits, and take hits it does. It then uses Supersonic. Defying all laws of accuracy, Supersonic hits. Time after time, your Pokémon is hit by confusion. Time after time, it is hit again by Supersonic, against all odds. What's that, you finally broke confusion? It doesn't matter; Pelipper is packing Protect. Finally, after taking out small chunks of its health multiple times, it faints. However, you are now forced to go back to the Pokémon Center, as your team is too weak to continue. You go back on the Route. The dreaded bird is waiting, ready to lure you in for a snack.
Now, this elusive fossil never was much of an issue in the main series games. It lived to die and took forever to get. However, this is exactly why Game Freak made this one of its chosen devil Pokémon. In Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Blue Rescue Team and Red Rescue Team, Aerodactyl wreaked havoc. When you entered a Monster House, your biggest fear was this thing. Out of nowhere it would come, but sure enough, its mouth was open wide (at least as wide as the GBA could make it look), lusting for battle. Rather underwhelming at first sight, Aerodactyl does not strike fear in the hearts of its opponents. However, its Agility does. With six smug Aerodactyl in a Monster House and Agility increasing the amount of times each can move per turn, you are hit by a barrage of attacks; after just two turns, you get attacked 12 times at once. This is all before you can even move! The prophecy proclaimed in ancient times came true with Aerodactyl. It was said that one Pokémon would one day bring down horror upon the beings of that time.
Every Pokemon on this list is annoying; really annoying, even. However, none of them even come close to matching the cheekiest Pokemon to ever live: Whitney's Miltank. You've just breezed past the Goldenrod City Gym. After finishing the Clefable-killing grind, you finally make it to Whitney. It's just one more battle. Victory is yours. You take out her Clefairy, expecting another one. Miltank comes out, and you figure it shouldn't be that hard to kill either. How wrong you were. You go to hit it, expecting it to fall into a critical range of health. Rather surprisingly, it hasn't even lost half of its HP. No problem, right? You keep chipping away at its HP, and then it happens. Miltank used Milk Drink! With that, it's restored half of its health. All your work, gone. It proceeds to finish off your team with its Attract and Stomp shenanigans. You are forced to try again. There seems to be no right answer, dispatching your Quilava with Rollout. That right there is where many of us as kids broke our Game Boys. Thanks a lot, Miltank.
|« Previous Article||Home||Next Article »|