Okay, so this is twice now in the span of a week I've been compelled to post something here; it's one of those situations that I'd just like some honest feedback on, and where the anonimity of the internet allows me to be more honest with you guys than I would be with my RL friends.
So, I'll try to keep this brief: I'm dating someone right now; we've been seeing eacother for just over a year and a half, and everything is going great. We are very much in love, I think about her all the time, we thoroughly enjoy one another's company, and all that good stuff. We've known eachother and been good friends for a very long time, and I could probably spend the rest of my life scouring the earth for someone else with whom I would share this level of understanding, love, companionship and respect, and turn up empty-handed. I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with this woman.
The problem: I love her. I also love women. Sometimes, these two affections find themselves in direct conflict. I am growing increasingly... restless in the relationship. I don't know how to fully explain it, but I'm hoping that more than a few of you will understand what I mean. I see pretty girls everywhere, and I love talking to them. Sometimes, my interactions with these ladies lead to small infatuations. Usually these infatuations are unreciprocated by me, and do not present a problem. However, every now and then, I find myself "crushing" on these girls. That's when the problem starts.
Right now, there is a very specific girl, who happens to be a coworker. I find her to be incredibly charming, fairly good looking, and utterly compelling. Last Friday, our team went out drinking, and I spent a good deal of time hanging out with her. Through events I won't get into with any great specificity, the nature of our mutual attraction was brought to light.
She doesn't know I have a girlfriend, she wants to jump my bone (pardon my language), and I kind of want to hook up with her, too.
Now, I know what I should do. That's a pretty easy question to answer. My probelm is just that, even if in this specific case, I choose not to indulge my fickle heart, how do I avoid this situation in the future? Regardless of any physical action I take, I still feel as though I've committed some kind of emotional infidelity. But I've gone through situations like this before, and sticking to the moral high ground doesn't feel as great as I'd thought it would. In The Picture of Dorian Gray, Lord Henry advises Dorian that "the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing." This is pretty much exactly how I feel.
I feel like refusing to yield to the whims of my heart is fucking with my head. It is in light of this that I start wondering what would really be more damaging to my relationship with my girlfriend: to maintain my fidelity at the cost of my own sanity, or to give into temptation in the hopes that doing so will appease some devil inside of me?
That's not nearly as brief as I wanted to keep it, but I hope some of you will make it to the end anyway ;).
So, I'll try to keep this brief: I'm dating someone right now; we've been seeing eacother for just over a year and a half, and everything is going great. We are very much in love, I think about her all the time, we thoroughly enjoy one another's company, and all that good stuff. We've known eachother and been good friends for a very long time, and I could probably spend the rest of my life scouring the earth for someone else with whom I would share this level of understanding, love, companionship and respect, and turn up empty-handed. I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with this woman.
The problem: I love her. I also love women. Sometimes, these two affections find themselves in direct conflict. I am growing increasingly... restless in the relationship. I don't know how to fully explain it, but I'm hoping that more than a few of you will understand what I mean. I see pretty girls everywhere, and I love talking to them. Sometimes, my interactions with these ladies lead to small infatuations. Usually these infatuations are unreciprocated by me, and do not present a problem. However, every now and then, I find myself "crushing" on these girls. That's when the problem starts.
Right now, there is a very specific girl, who happens to be a coworker. I find her to be incredibly charming, fairly good looking, and utterly compelling. Last Friday, our team went out drinking, and I spent a good deal of time hanging out with her. Through events I won't get into with any great specificity, the nature of our mutual attraction was brought to light.
She doesn't know I have a girlfriend, she wants to jump my bone (pardon my language), and I kind of want to hook up with her, too.
Now, I know what I should do. That's a pretty easy question to answer. My probelm is just that, even if in this specific case, I choose not to indulge my fickle heart, how do I avoid this situation in the future? Regardless of any physical action I take, I still feel as though I've committed some kind of emotional infidelity. But I've gone through situations like this before, and sticking to the moral high ground doesn't feel as great as I'd thought it would. In The Picture of Dorian Gray, Lord Henry advises Dorian that "the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing." This is pretty much exactly how I feel.
I feel like refusing to yield to the whims of my heart is fucking with my head. It is in light of this that I start wondering what would really be more damaging to my relationship with my girlfriend: to maintain my fidelity at the cost of my own sanity, or to give into temptation in the hopes that doing so will appease some devil inside of me?
That's not nearly as brief as I wanted to keep it, but I hope some of you will make it to the end anyway ;).
