Challenge COMPLETE: Pokemon Gold "Six-of-One" Letterlocke Chosen-by-Committee Challenge

[QuentinQuonce]

Introduction

Welcome, one and all, to my newest challenge. To do the unthinkable and take on Johto using nothing but Johto's most unique Pokemon - the curious little Unown.

Rules

• Unown and ONLY Unown can be used in-battle for this challenge. All other Pokemon obtained at any point during the game may not be used in battle and boxed at the earliest opportunity.
• The only exception to the above rule is for HM slaves. Five HMs are mandatory for beating the game: Cut, Surf, Strength, Whirlpool, and Waterfall. A minimum of two HM slaves will be needed, but they may not be used for battling.

I want to get a full team of six Unown as early as possible; luckily, Unown can be caught extremely early on in GSC (before the first badge, in fact) so this is optimal. I will be catching six; note that to make this challenge as interesting as possible I will not use two Unown which have the same Hidden Power type.

Since I can only use six Unown on my team, and Unown only learns Hidden Power, that limits me to six offensive types. So here's where the "chosen by committee" part comes in - the first six commenters get to choose a Hidden Power type for one of my squad! You may not choose the same type as another user, but please feel free to choose the types you feel are most obscure, challenging, offensively worthless, or just your favourites, and please leave your comment in the following format:

"Green_typhlosion, by the holy power of Ho-Oh's sacred flame, I command you to wield the _______-type!"
​

and I will duly hunt for an Unown with the requested Hidden Power. Once I have all six, I will nickname each Unown after the user who selected it and pin your chosen types to this post. As hunting down an Unown with the combination of a specific letter and HP type would be tedious in the extreme (and may not be possible in some instances given GSC's complex DV system) I will not be catching Unown of a specific letter but I will endeavour to use six unique forms if I can. I'm not an expert when it comes to GSC's IV system (specifically how it affects Unown forms) but I'm reasonably confident that all 16 Hidden Power types* can be generated through wild encounters. Each of the four puzzle chambers in the Ruins of Alph will unlock certain letters of Unown in the main room, with each solved puzzle corresponding to a certain segment of the alphabet. However, before beating Falkner the player can only access the first puzzle chamber - Surf is needed to unlock the other three chambers and release the other letters. The first puzzle chamber gives access to letters A-K which should give a decent variance in IVs (and hopefully letters too for aesthetic appeal).

EDIT: Turns out someone took the time to work out which Unown forms can have each type of Hidden Power. I'm genuinely shocked that this isn't more widely documented. Credit to u/dreamyeyed on Reddit for this.

Unown Letters and Hidden Power types

Unown A: fighting flying rock bug
Unown B: fighting flying poison ground rock bug ghost steel
Unown C: poison ground ghost steel
Unown D: fighting flying poison ground rock bug ghost steel
Unown E: fighting flying poison ground rock bug ghost steel
Unown F: poison ground ghost steel
Unown G: poison ground ghost steel fire water psychic ice
Unown H: fire water psychic ice
Unown I: grass electric dragon dark
Unown J: fire water grass electric psychic ice dragon dark
Unown K: fire water psychic ice
Unown L: fire water grass electric psychic ice dragon dark
Unown M: fighting flying rock bug grass electric dragon dark
Unown N: fighting flying rock bug
Unown O: fighting flying poison ground rock bug ghost steel
Unown P: poison ground ghost steel
Unown Q: fighting flying rock bug
Unown R: fighting flying poison ground rock bug ghost steel
Unown S: poison ground ghost steel
Unown T: poison ground ghost steel fire water psychic ice
Unown U: fire water grass electric psychic ice dragon dark
Unown V: grass electric dragon dark
Unown W: fire water grass electric psychic ice dragon dark
Unown X: fire water psychic ice
Unown Y: grass electric dragon dark
Unown Z: grass electric dragon dark

*Hidden Power cannot be Normal-type

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
​

I start up my save file, giving my hero the dashing name of Auric, and proceed to Elm's lab (if he doesn't have a computer in this game, how does he get any work done?), choosing Cyndaquil as my starter for reasons that will shortly become clear (cool, it's female!), and agree to Professor Elm's request to visit Mr Pokemon as if we actually have a choice. The goal is to get to Violet City as quickly as possible, so I don't bother fighting any wild Pokemon. Once Mr Pokemon has entrusted me with the mysterious egg and Professor Oak gives me a Pokedex, we're officially in business.

Professor Elm calls me once I leave, inconsolable and teary. As we return to Cherrygrove, I find out why - some total asshole stole a Pokemon from his lab! The asshole, who mumbles his name so we only hear ??? (but I heard Rupa, so that's what I deem his name to be) challenges me to a fight and knocks my Cyndaquil unconscious with his Totodile. Oh well, I'm sure I'll get my revenge at some point. One quick trip back to New Bark and a brief police interview later, Professor Elm freaks out at the sight of the mysterious egg, gives Oak's gift of a Pokedex his blessing, and tells me I should go challenge some gyms. Not a bad idea.

Okay, Violet City time. I stock up on Pokeballs and head straight out of the city to the nearby Ruins of Alph, making a couple of practice catches along the way. We've arrived in the ruins! A strange and mystical place. What was it when it was first built? Who knows, but for now enjoy this remix by Mewmore which is one of the few remixed tunes I like a lot more than the original. Brings to mind an image of a thriving, bustling settlement.

The only accessible chamber other than the large main room contains a curious block puzzle, which I investigate and proceed to solve: it's a depiction of a Kabuto! Once it's complete, a hole opens up in the ground and I fall through it, crashing down to the lower level of the ruins.

At this point my team consists of Cyndaquil, Metapod, Geodude, Pidgey, and a traded Totodile and Abra (the latter in the lead position). Right, so you might be wondering - if I'm only using Unown, why do I have these?

Well, since the Name Rater isn't until Goldenrod City, it's more efficient to work out what each Unown's Hidden Power type is before catching. If it turns out to be the type I want, I'll catch it and give it the appropriate nickname. Psypoke has a useful Hidden Power page which guides you through manually working out what Hidden Power type you have which I'll be following.

Let's get to catching our letterlocke team! Make your suggestions, boys and girls...



EDIT: We have our Hidden Power types! Thanks to all the people who commented - our picks are as follows:

Suspicious Derivative picked the Bug-type.
HydrogenHydreigon picked the Water-type.
Total Clefairy picked the Dragon-type.
SpiritGuy picked the Steel-type.
CPU picked the Electric-type.
CyberBearIV picked the Psychic-type.​

 

[Suspicious Derivative]

Green_typhlosion, by the holy power of Ho-Oh's sacred flame, I command you to wield the Bug-type!

Not sure if it is going to be among the harder ones (it has been a long while since I last played a Johto game) but I think it should offer a bit of a challenge at least. That's why I went with it.

Anyway, this looks like another unique and creative challenge from you. I saw that you made a few more during the four months I was gone from the forums, I am planning to back and look through them, just need to find the time for it...

I am curious about how you manage to come up with all those creative ideas for challenges. I have been planning to make at least one challenge of my own (hopefully in 3-4 months from now), I also have an idea for another which will be even further in the future (if it happens at all), but I'm not sure if they will be on the same level as the ones you have done in terms of creativity.

Also, that remix you linked to was great.

 

[HydrogenHydreigon]

Green_typhlosion, by the holy power of Ho-Oh's sacred flame, I command you to wield the Water-type!
[INSERT COMMENTS HERE]
If my name doesn't fit go with Hydrogen or Hydro

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

"Green_typhlosion, by the holy power of Ho-Oh's sacred flame, I command you to wield the Dragon-type!"

it's a cool type, decent neutral coverage, and might come in useful in some tricky fights (clair/lance). but the most important thing is, as i say, it's cool.

i've requested a forum name change to "<3", which will fit a bit more easily lol.

 

[SpiritGuy]

Green_typhlosion, by the holy power of Ho-Oh's sacred flame, I command you to wield the Steel-type!

Pretty bad coverage type (only useful against Rock and Ice Pokemon) and that's why I chose it.

 

[CPU]

green_typhlosion, by the holy power of Ho-Oh's sacred flame, I command you to wield the Electric-type!

Adds important, but limited, coverage. Not sure if Hidden Power gets badge-boosted by the Plain Badge, or by the badge of its appropriate type (and on the stat side, if all are boosted by the Zephyr Badge or if the Special ones are boosted by the Glacier Badge.

 

[CyberBearIV]

Green_typhlosion, by the holy power of Ho-Oh's sacred flame, I command you to wield the Psychic-type!

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Alright guys, thanks - that's all six types picked out! I'll add these to the first post.

Anyway, this looks like another unique and creative challenge from you. I saw that you made a few more during the four months I was gone from the forums, I am planning to back and look through them, just need to find the time for it...

I am curious about how you manage to come up with all those creative ideas for challenges. I have been planning to make at least one challenge of my own (hopefully in 3-4 months from now), I also have an idea for another which will be even further in the future (if it happens at all), but I'm not sure if they will be on the same level as the ones you have done in terms of creativity.

Thanks. You've got some marvellous reading ahead if I do say so myself.

Re the challenge concepts, the sandbox helps a lot. I tend to jot down ideas and then come back to them, tweaking as needed. I also like thinking about which games I haven't played in a while and what works on those particular titles - Unown obviously suits Johto fairly well. To give you a little preview, I'm planning a challenge on Pokemon XD (it may end up being the one I do after this one, we'll see) which started life as something quite different and gradually evolved into its current format after I went back and refined it a few times (I'll direct message you if you're curious, as I think it'll be a good one).

Right, time to get catching...

 

[QuentinQuonce]

And we're off!

Let's take a moment to get introduced to the team:

Cyberbear the Unown-G...

Spiritguy the Unown-C...

Suspicious the Unown-A...

TotalClef the Unown-J...

CPU the Unown-I...

and last but not least, Hydro the Unown-K.

Welcome aboard, guys. Let's do this!

As my new squad are all fairly weak, I do a little beefing up. I avoided all the skippable trainers on Route 30 and 31, so return there to get some easy experience (mainly for Spiritguy the Steel-using Unown, who doesn't have any good matchups in the near future so I figure needs it most). After that, it's time to take on the monks in Sprout Tower. Since all the trainers here use Bellsprout, and I have a Bug- and Psychic-type user in Suspicious and Cyberbear respectively, I don't struggle too much. The Elder's beefy level 10 Hoothoot proves somewhat tough to take down, so I let Hydro, Spiritguy, and TotalClef share the load and divide the win between them.

With that cleared, it's time for Johto gym number one! I deliberately held CPU back until now because, of course, it has an Electric-type Hidden Power. As hoped, it cuts through the two gym trainers like a hot knife through butter.

Wait, so is the GSC-era Violet Gym supposed to be a walkway over a massive drop like it is in HGSS? I never got that impression. Looks more like a corridor in a gloomy dungeon to me.​

I hadn't expected to have been given an advantage against the first gym leader so it's nice to have that. After resting, refreshing, and buying a heap of Potions, I return to the gym and challenge Falkner, moody emo kid that he is.

I let Hydro take care of Falkner's Pidgey, which goes down relatively quickly. Then, when he brings out his terrifying level 9 Pidgeotto, it's time for CPU to shine. I picked up an X Defend in Sprout Tower, so deploy that on the first turn to mitigate its powerful Gust attack. Sadly, even despite being weak to CPU's Hidden Power, each attack barely chips it. We trade blows for a few turns, but Pidgeotto is the stronger attacker - and its Gust attacks bring me to 2 HP quicker than I can hit it.

But all is not lost. I equipped CPU with a Berry before coming in here, and it triggers in the nick of time. CPU recovers, blasting Pidgeotto with another Hidden Power that takes it into the red zone of its health. Next turn, it survives another Gust and hits again for the KO.

Hurrah! That wasn't too tricky. Hopefully a sign of comfortable victories to come. Yeah, probably not, but I can dream.

Falkner grudgingly hands over the Zephyr Badge and TM31, Mud-Slap. First time I played Crystal, I thought this attack was the coolest move ever. Too bad none of my team can learn it. Or, y'know, any other TM in this game.

After leaving the gym Elm phones me, asking me to meet his assistant in the Pokemon Centre to take the mysterious egg and hatch it for him. Well, I'll do the former, but I'm not promising anything about the latter. Boxed!

Time to go. We've done everything we can do in Violet City for now, so we're southward bound. A man on Route 32 gives me a Miracle Seed as a reward for beating Falkner, but as Grass was not one of my selected types, it's unfortunately useless.

Oh. I just discovered that you can't get the Twistedspoon in GSC without trading, and the Silverpowder is a 2% chance held item... on Butterfree. At least the Dragon Scale, Metal Coat, Mystic Water, and Magnet are easily accessible, though the first two won't be for a long time yet.

Still. Who needs held items, anyway?


Current team

Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 7)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 7)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 7)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 8)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 8)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 8)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

​

Route 32 is full of Fishermen and scrubby Youngsters, all with Pokemon my Unown squad are able to beat up. Happily, so far everyone's been keeping pace and no-one's lagging behind. We'll see how long that lasts. Union Cave, too, is nice and easy. Lots of Rock-types for Spiritguy to smash, a couple of Koffing for Cyberbear to mentally abuse, a Slowpoke for CPU to zap, and a Vulpix for Hydro to drown. The squad emerges onto Route 33 in fine fettle. Why isn't this place just an extension of Route 32? It's so tiny there's nothing here apart from a berry tree and one guy, and the wild Pokemon aren't phenomenally different (it's not even a new Headbutt tree area). Not sure it really merits being a whole other route, but oh well.

But we've made it to Azalea Town! Unfortunately, it's overrun with creepy men in black costumes. All the townspeople glumly tell me that the Slowpoke that used to be all around the town are gone. Well, that's a shame. The only other point of interest is at the western edge of the town - turns out a famous Pokeball craftsman by the name of Kurt lives here. Y'know, I'm not sure I'll be needing any new Pokeballs, what with my already-full team. But sure, let's go and talk to him anyway. Kurt tells me that the black-suited goons I spotted near the well on the outskirts of town are called Team Rocket, and that they're evil-hearted villains who cut off the tails of Slowpoke and sell them for money. Furious, he charges out of his house and says that he's off to the Slowpoke Well to punish them. Well, I should probably do the right thing and lend a hand.

After stopping off at the Pokemon Centre to heal, I find Kurt at the bottom of the well. Apparently he chased the Team Rocket member guarding the well down into the depths, but then took a tumble and hurt his back. So now apparently it's up to me, since he's too injured to battle them himself. Huh... I'm just remembering now how in the manga, Kurt's only known Pokemon is a Shuckle. That'd have been an amusing sight.

Anyway, I proceed deeper into the well and encounter an angry Team Rocket grunt, who attacks me with his two Rattata. Not so tough, though once they start using Zubat - with its nasty Leech Life - things get a little more tricky. I was intending to save Cyberbear - with its useful Psychic coverage - for the boss, but it gets poisoned in the penultimate battle and sadly faints.

Time to dance a different tune, then. I challenge the ringleader and he sends out his mighty level 14 Koffing against me; I send out Hydro and hope for the best. Its Water-type Hidden Power does a decent chunk of damage, but then Koffing gets a critical hit with Smog and KOs. Hmmm... I opt for TotalClef to come out next, and it survives long enough to finish the job. Nice!

All the Team Rocket grunts swear revenge, and skedaddle. Kurt congratulates me and we head back to his, where he gifts me a Lure Ball. Well, probably never gonna use that, but thanks. Now that the gym's unblocked, time to take it on.

Ugh. Bug-types. Not the ideal opponent for a team of Psychic-types. The good news is that Bug-types rarely have powerful moves to smack you with, especially at this level. But I don't have much I can hit them back with. Only Psychic for the part-Poison species.

Still, I do alright against the gym trainers. Spiritguy manages to singlehandedly take care of the Ledyba and Spinarak at the entrance. Weirdly the Pokemon that gives me the most trouble is, of all things, Paras.

I clean up, then decide to take on that delightfully androgynous little twink Bugsy.

His Metapod goes down easy to Hydro's Water move. But then he sends out Scyther...

It softens Hydro up with Leer and then Quick Attacks it to death, having only taken chip damage from my moves. I send out CPU to try to exploit Scyther's Electric weakness but it uses Fury Cutter. From there on it's a solid OHKO for each of my team members.

Well. Better go do some grinding...



Current team

Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 11)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 11)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 11)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 12)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 11)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 12)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

After a truly almighty amount of grinding in Slowpoke Well and Union Cave, my letterlocke squad is looking more prepared to take on Bugsy; all of my Unown are at level 14, 15, or 16. My training is fairly slow due to the weakness of the Pokemon I'm grinding on but at least they can be one- or two-shotted. The Onix and Geodude in Union Cave give the most experience overall, averaging 100 points apiece, so that's workable.

I head to Ilex Forest presently and my rival, Rupa, challenges me. He's going to be a good source of experience if I can beat him. Cyberbear withstands his Gastly's Lick and knocks it out with its powerful Psychic Hidden Power, while TotalClef and Spiritguy collaborate to beat his Zubat. Then he sends out his mighty Croconaw. Given that this thing is an impressive level 16, I'm nervous about its Bite attack but it turns out that I needn't have worried - it doesn't learn Bite until level 21. I can wait till we hit Ecruteak to fret about that. As it happens, his Croconaw pointlessly uses Leer a few times before using Water Gun. Nothing like crappy AI, is there?

After rescuing the missing Farfetch'd in Ilex Forest (which, despite having played GSC loads of times, I actually forgot or didn't know you could do before getting the Hivebadge - the whole point of this is that the charcoal man's apprentice can't control it without a badge, so surely I shouldn't be able to either?) I do a little more grinding here so that Suspicious, whose Bug-type Hidden Power makes fighting Onix, Zubat, and Geodude unfavourable, can catch up.

Right. With everyone now safely at level 15 or 16, time to consider the question of Bugsy again.

The issue is how exactly I'm going to go about beating him. After a couple of uses, his Scyther's Fury Cutter becomes powerful enough to OHKO any of my guys, and I've no hope of outspeeding that thing. CPU is the only Unown on my team with an advantageous Hidden Power (Electric), and it's barely a 3HKO. I briefly wondered whether it'd be possible to PP stall Scyther out of Fury Cutter PP but, as a 20 PP move, that's extremely unlikely to happen. I can't buy Revives or X Defends yet. After another failed attempt, I grudgingly accept that I'll need a level advantage to be certain I can beat him; even with a Berry equipped, CPU cannot withstand three Fury Cutters.

Back to the Well, then. Being the only one capable of getting the job done, CPU is going to have to be levelled up substantially until he far outlevels his brothers. I whale on a bunch of Zubat and Slowpoke until I run out of PP and have to resort to Struggle (which hilariously for at least two of these guys does more damage than their Hidden Powers do), bringing him all the way up to very nearly level 19, then equip a Berry and return to the gym to see if I can do this. Have another remix to really put you in the mood for this titanic clash.

I lead with CPU as Bugsy sends out Metapod, switching out on the first turn to let Cyberbear take the easy win. The shared experience is enough to nudge CPU up to level 19, and I switch back as Bugsy sends out Scyther.

Now that I'm several levels higher than before, the AI clearly recognises that a first-time Fury Cutter won't even 3HKO, so opens with Leer. CPU's Hidden Power does around 40%. Next turn, Scyther uses Fury Cutter for 14 damage and I respond in kind. We should be able to survive the next one -

- and its second hit does 32 damage. Dang, by the skin of our teeth - we've done it! My third Hidden Power connects and knocks Bugsy's Scyther out, landing CPU with a massive 640 experience. You earned every last point, buddy. Cyberbear takes over again for Kakuna and promptly obliterates it.

Phew. Well, that was brutal. At least the next gym shouldn't be...

...oh, right, it's Whitney. Yeah let's see how that one goes.

Into Ilex Forest now. I let CPU have a rest and exchange it briefly for Totodile so I can cut through the obstacle tree. Given that we can't use Headbutt, there's naff all to do in here. I always forget that Crystal added the sole trainer in this area. Honestly it needed more than one - so many of the dungeons in GS are empty and barren. Anyway, I reach Route 34 promptly, glad to finally have some new trainers to face down. Suspicious and Cyberbear have been lagging behind slightly so I let them take care of everyone here, ditching Totodile as soon as I reach the Day Care.

We've made it to Goldenrod City! There's gonna be an absolute ton of stuff to do around here, not least fighting an army of trainers on the surrounding routes. I quickly pick up the bike and drop by the Radio Tower on the off chance I'll win a Master Ball. (I did not win a Master Ball.)

Boy, as a Crystal-native player, not having Buena be here just feels so... wrong. It's like being in Bizarro World.​

Today's Thursday, so I figure what the hell - may as well do the Bug-Catching Contest. But first, we're going to the Underground to beat up some nerds!


Current team

Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 15)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 15)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 15)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 16)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 19)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 15)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

To borrow a phrase from a certain musical, I like kicking nerds in the nose. Goldenrod Tunnel is full of weak trainers I can beat up, giving my team some much-needed experience.

Buddy, I'm carting around six Pokemon who all know one move each, believe me when I say I don't think about anything BUT type alignments.​

Once that's all cleared out I head northwards to indulge myself in some fun bug-catching. It's, well... a disaster.

I find a Pinsir on my second encounter, who utterly annihilates Cyberbear with a critical hit Vicegrip - I flee, but then find a Scyther two encounters later. Knowing it'll destroy me, I vainly chuck Park Balls until it kills me. Having whited out and having caught nothing, I get a consolation Berry and am told to try again later. Mmmyeah, maybe in like 20 levels' time.

Still. There are trainers in National Park so I console myself by trouncing them. Everyone squabbles over who gets to take down that yummy level 14 Raichu, but in the end TotalClef and Cyberbear have to do it together because it's just so darn bulky. And the reward is... 183 experience points each. Yeah. I save the two trainers on Route 36, who use two Abra and a Kadabra and a Tangela respectively, for Suspicious, whose Bug-type Hidden Power reigns supreme over them.

Well, the way northeast is blocked thanks to that odd wiggly tree, so I guess it's back to Goldenrod. I do a small bit of training first, though. It's nice that the wild Pokemon on the surrounding routes are a significant step up from where they were around Azalea (average levels on Route 35 & 36 are 12/13, which give some decent experience yields).

​

And of course on the run where I'm not catching new stuff or generally in the market for new team members, I find the 1% appearance-rate Yanma. Figures.

Anyway. Once my squad are all suitably toughened up, I figure it's time to test my luck with Whitney. I stop off briefly at the Dept Store and buy some X Defends as well as loading up on Fresh Water, Soda Pop, and Lemonade (always forget to buy Lemonade during in-game runs, but to be fair I won't need it for a while yet as Unown's HP is so miserably low). Then it's into the gym. Most of the trainers are manageable, though the girl with the Meowth gives me trouble thanks to its surprisingly powerful Bite attack. But I make it through pretty quickly.

So I have nothing that can hit Whitney's Pokemon super-effectively. And given that most of my attacks are likely to do chip damage and her gargantuan cow can heal itself... I'm not looking forward to this.

She leads with Clefairy and I send out Spiritguy to take it down. (Ah, if only Steel was super-effective against it in this gen.) It uses Doubleslap first then utilises Metronome to throw a Powder Snow attack at me. And... freezes me. Urgh. Once I've unfrozen it and restored HP, it's managed to grab an attack boost from a Metronome'd Swords Dance. But my next Hidden Power gets a crit and drops it!

Out comes Miltank. Right off the bat I use an X Defend as it uses Stomp, bringing me to half health. I deploy another and then fully heal. And it starts to use Rollout, the first doing minimal damage but the second doing around a third of my total health. Crap. I get in one hit as it strikes again, leaving me with just 2 HP, and it finishes me.

I send out CPU - still the highest-levelled of the squad - and get in one sole hit before its next Rollout obliterates me. One round of Rollout to go, and it's going to OHKO whoever it hits. Reluctantly, I allow Suspicious to be wiped out, using the time to Revive Spiritguy.

My two hits got Miltank to ~60%, so naturally it undoes all my good work by using Milk Drink. TotalClef gets a critical hit, dealing around 25% damage to it, but it heals again and then begins another Rollout. I deploy one X Defend to buy an extra turn and hit it, bringing it to 60% again. The second Rollout finishes me and I send out Cyberbear, on whom the third hit of Rollout joyously misses; a hit from Hidden Power takes it under 50%.

And so naturally Miltank heals again. I attack as it tries to use Stomp and misses that too, then attack again as it starts another Rollout. The first hit deals about 15 HP - the second leaves Cyberbear at precisely 1 HP, while its attacks have left Miltank at around ~20%. It's TotalClef's turn, and it survives the third Rollout strike to deal a piddly amount of damage before the fourth takes it down.

I send out Spiritguy and it instantly dies to the fifth strike. Well, that was a Revive wasted.

Only Hydro left, now. Miltank is now at just under 15% and not locked into Rollout any more. If it heals now, I'm toast. But glory be! It, rather greedily, chooses to Rollout once again and my counterattack knocks it out.

Her tearful reaction is actually rather warranted here, I'd be crying too.
​

Whew.

That was... unexpected. After the nightmare that was Bugsy, I was prepared to tackle her a few times. But we did it! Albeit with some luck.

If I may be smug for just one moment.

​

Cheap shot but indulge me.

Anyway so now that I've beaten Whitney I can get the Squirtbottle from the Flower Shop, and finally clear the road of that irritating tree blocking everyone's way.

Hmmm... that's funny. So like a lot of third/upper versions Crystal made some aesthetic changes, but one of the most minor is the placement of the flower shop. In GS it's directly behind the other house, in Crystal it's by the gym.

​

Did they just think it didn't stand out enough? They added a sign and some flowerpots so that probably actually is the reason.

Anyway, so I go in and talk to the girl, and she - dazzled by my shiny new badge - says "oh, you're better than Whitney." Well, not necessarily. Beating her once doesn't necessarily make me stronger than her, given that she's probably got a bunch of much stronger Pokemon tucked away somewhere.

(On that note let me just briefly add that I cannot BELIEVE she doesn't have a Blissey in her HGSS rematch. Absolutely criminal.)

Anyway. I lead with Spiritguy as I sprinkle the tree with water as it's one of the few decent matchups for it in Johto. Fancy that, the weird tree doesn't like the Squirtbottle! And... it's... a Sudowoodo. Bet you didn't see that one coming, did you. I get in two hits as it ineffectually uses Flail and Low Kick, but it shapes up on the third round and uses Rock Throw, knocking me out. Well, so much for that idea. I switch to Hydro and briskly finish the job with more water.

Sudowoodo faints and... huh. In Crystal when you knock it out it bounces merrily away across the map, but here? Nothing. Have I mentioned lately that Crystal is the better game in pretty much every regard? Remind me to do that more often.

Anyway, now the road northwards is open, and it's time to head on up to Ecruteak City! Or, as a childhood friend of mine used to call it, Eurotick City. Yes, really.

EDIT: Since we're leaving Goldenrod for now, have a rather plaintive-sounding remix to say farewell.

Current team

Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 18)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 18)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 19)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 18)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 19)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 19)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Before leaving, I double back and do the Bug-Catching Contest again just for funsies. I do a lot better this time around, and manage to catch a Scyther! Unfortunately, Cooltrainer Nick is one of the NPCs in the contest (he basically always wins, and from checking his Bulbapedia page it appears he received the maximum possible score if he catches a Scyther) and comes first. I come in third place, which isn't so bad as it nets me a Gold Berry. Hopefully that'll come in handy later in this playthrough, like a fruity Chekhov's Gun.

A few hours later, it's Sunday, and that means Sunny of the Week Siblings is hanging around on Route 37, ready to give me the Magnet. I give it to CPU to hold, so now one of my team members has their dedicated power-up item. Nice. Probably won't be too much help against Morty, but we'll be seeing quite a lot of Water-types soon enough.

Moments later, we have arrived in Ecruteak, location of our fourth gym badge!

Not going to be going after that yet, though. Thanks to the openness of Johto's map, both the westward and the eastward road are open to me, both full of trainers. As I'm extremely underlevelled to be taking on Morty, I figure I'll go westward first and clear out everything Olivine has to offer before returning. There's very little to do in Ecruteak if I'm not challenging the gym; onto Route 38, then, where a litany of Sailors await. Well, a couple at least. None of the trainers here prove too difficult, though hilariously CPU's Magnet-boosted Hidden Power fails to OHKO a level 16 Doduo. Good lord. And to think I'm going to be fighting Gyarados at some point.

As I enter Olivine City, Rupa appears from the gym and rants about how the Gym Leader isn't there because she's wasting her time at the lighthouse looking after a sick Pokemon or something. He leaves, no doubt to go and hang around in the Burned Tower until I can be bothered to swing by later. Well, there's naff all else to do in Olivine so I'd better go clean out the lighthouse.

Now here are some tough opponents! The first trainer alone is an absolute wall, possessing a Noctowl that shrugs off all attacks and pecks half my team to death. Jeez. Thankfully the trainer with 5 Pidgey makes up for that, it's basically free experience. Unlike before, all my team seem to have reached a point where they can keep up with one another - no one's really lagging behind right now. Long may that continue.

Eventually, after a few backtracks in order to heal, I make it to the top, where sure enough Jasmine's there with Amphy, that old plague-stricken sparkly sheep. Jasmine asks if I'll go across the sea and fetch the SecretPotion for her to heal him. Uh, I can't even use Surf yet and probably won't be able to for quite some time. But... sure, I will. Eventually. You'll just have to hope Amphy doesn't keel over until then.

Seriously, was there really no one else you could ask? THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE GYM TRAINERS, JASMINE. Blanche Dubois was not intended as a role model.

​

Anyway. That's just about everything to the west of Ecruteak done with for now. I duck briefly into the cafe next door to the Pokemon centre, where a sailor laughs and tells me my Pokemon "sure look like lightweights". Uh, yeah, they're all tiny floating letters. He gives me HM04, which... well, like most all of the TMs and HMs I've received on this journey, can't be learned by my team. I also go for a quick stroll on the beach, where I meet Monica (oh yeah, it's Monday by now). She gives me the Sharp Beak, another item I can't use at all.

Perhaps the most bizarre omission from the remakes: this girl. Like, what exactly was the rationale for getting rid of her? Poor lass.​

Hmm, what to do first: take on my rival at the Burned Tower and face down the Kimono Girls or go east? After a bit of deliberation I opt to go east. Sure I won't be able to do the whole Rocket Hideout segment since I can't Surf into the Lake of Rage yet, but there's a bunch of trainers I can fight beforehand. I'm still a ways away from being ready for Morty.

On my way back through Route 39 I remember I never visited the MooMoo Farm, where the farm's titular cow is sick and needs Berries to be healed. Unfortunately, given that healing MooMoo would only reward me with a useless TM13, I opt to do the practical thing and leave her to die.

Current team

Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 21)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 21)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 20)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 20)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 21)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 20)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Who turned out the lights in Mt. Mortar?! Oh, that's right, it's not lit in GS. I'll refrain from my usual comments about how Crystal is the best Johto g... oh, crap. Too late.

Unable to Surf yet, I explore Lake of Rage as much as I can, noting with interest the unreachable Red Gyarados in the lake. Eh, I'm sure someone else will sort that out. The few trainers I beat up are good experience fodder, but, not in the mood to grind on the underwhelming wild Pokemon, I head back to Ecruteak and take on the five Kimono Girls, obtaining HM03 from a kindly old gent on the way out. Despite all this good training, all my boys are still only in their early 20s.

Fully accepting that I will always be underleveled for Morty, I head back to Ecruteak and enter the gym. It's 100% Gastly and Haunter in here - Cyberbear, this one's entirely on you.

Just like Bugsy before him, Morty's ace has a move which will OHKO all my squad. But let's give it a go and see how we fare.

I give Cyberbear a Przcureberry to ward off any errant Lick paralysis and go all in against Morty. His Gastly helpfully opens with Curse, allowing me to finish it off with a super-effective Psychic-type Hidden Power. I switch to Suspicious to dispel the Curse residual damage, whose Bug-type Hidden Power unfortunately does chip damage to Morty's first Haunter before it falls to three hits from Night Shade.

Morty opts to go for broke and sends out his Gengar next. I send out CPU and predictably take a Shadow Ball to the face. It OHKOs, and swiftly dispatches the rest of the squad in similar fashion.

Right, so facing him head-on isn't the best way. What can I do?

Why, buy a bunch of items, of course! I head to Goldenrod and buy five X Defends as well as 10 Revives. You see, Shadow Ball has 15 PP, and whilst I'm never going to be able to soak them up I can simply opt to rotate my team members in and out to use up all of its PP to allow Cyberbear a straight and unimpeded matchup.

Is it cheap as hell? Yes. Is it effective? Also yes.

Bag full of healing items, I return for a fresh attempt at taking down the Ghost-wielding heartthrob. This time, Morty's Gastly chooses to Lick me as I hit it with Hidden Power, failing to paralyse but succeeding in wasting an extra PP as, tragically, a super-effective 50% STAB Hidden Power doesn't even OHKO. Why am i doing this to myself.

Anyway. Morty's Haunter uses Hypnosis, ironically given Cyberbear's still holding a Przcureberry. Luckily, I have a Mint Berry and an Awakening as well as two Full Heals, so sleep isn't going to stop me. After a few more turns and a judicious application of Fresh Water, Haunter goes down.

And Gengar comes out third again. I send out CPU and apply an X Defend as Gengar uses Shadow Ball, but the boost means it narrowly survives. 1/15. It uses Shadow Ball again (2/15) and finishes CPU off. I send Spiritguy out next, applying an X Defend as Gengar uses Shadow Ball once more (3/15) and then revive CPU as it hits again for the kill (4/15).

This process repeats a few more times (just take the 5-14/15 as read) until finally it KOs Hydro with its final Shadow Ball (15/15). Time for Cyberbear to work his magic! Gengar uses Hypnosis, successfully putting Cyberbear to sleep, but after I apply an Awakening its next three attempts all fail, while Hidden Power takes respectable (though hardly impressive) chunks out of it. It successfully pulls off another Hypnosis next turn, but I heal again and strike a final hit, 4HKOing Gengar and giving Cyberbear the win. Morty's second Haunter is next, but with only Night Shade in its arsenal cannot hope to beat me.

Don't feel bad, buddy. I totally cheated you out of a foregone win.​

But cheap tactics or not, I've got the Fogbadge! And now I can use Surf there's one place in particular I want to go.

I make a beeline for Cherrygrove City, where the fisherman in the bay says a cheery hello and gifts me a Mystic Water. That's for you to hold, Hydro. So now two members of my team have their boosting items, marginally increasing their power. Hopefully that'll make a difference somewhere.

Anyway, now I've got the ability to cross water, a whole new set of areas has been opened up to me. Time to head off and explore Johto all over again, and hopefully gain some tidy experience in the process. Have a delightful remix in the meantime.

Current team

Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 23)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 23)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 22)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 23)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 22)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 23)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Imbued with the power of surfing, I go exploring in Dark Cave and eventually come out on the upper portion of Route 46 (ah, dammit. I always forget you can come here before getting Surf - explains why the trainers are so weak. Oh well) and then head to Union Cave, crossing the underground lake on the lower level and fighting the Hikers hanging around there. After effortlessly destroying them, I head to the other underground chamber. The Pokemaniac with the two Marowak is an absolutely brutal fight, and then (once I've backtracked to Azalea and healed) the Pokemaniac with a sole Kangaskhan even more so. His big angry kangaroo OHKOs all of my squad with Mega Punch, while they can only chip away ineffectively in return.

Hmm, looks like I'll have to come back to Union Cave later, then. Since I'm forced to bring Totodile with me, I can only take five Unown to any location where there are trainers to fight, but I doubt even a full team of six Unown could beat that Kangaskhan for a good long while yet.

The final stop on my whirlwind Surfing tour of Johto is the secret beach on Route 34. Irene, Jenn, and Kate are much easier to beat, and afterwards Kate hands over the Soft Sand, which... is another worthless type-boosting item. Oh well, at least I get 50 yen for selling it. Useful if what I want to buy is one quarter of a Pokeball.

Out of opponents, and deciding not to go to Cianwood yet, I figure I may as well return to the Lake of Rage and deal with the Red Gyarados. Obviously, I'm quite underlevelled, but it's only one opponent and I have a 4x effective matchup against it. It takes a couple of soft resets but CPU is able to 3HKO with Hidden Power, getting a nice lump of experience for his trouble. I know, it's criminal not to catch it, but it's not like shinies are hard to come by in Gen II.

On the shore after I've defeated the Gyarados is Lance, who I was convinced had to be a secret villain when I first played Crystal. I mean, look at him. The dark cape. The tough-guy demeanor. The slanted eyes and mean expression.

Anyway. Lance asks if I'll join him in infiltrating Team Rocket's base. Sure, why not?

...I'm not going to do that straight away, though. Now I have the Red Scale, I'm heading back down south to exchange it for a very important item that'll be of great value to this run. It's the Exp Share! Mr Pokemon is excited to see the Red Scale, and because it's worthless to me I gladly hand it over in exchange. That'll come in handy for sure.

On the way back up to Ecruteak I run into Arthur, yet another of those pesky Week Siblings, who gifts me the Hard Stone. Yay, another quarter of a Pokeball for me!

Okay, let's get back to the main plot. Time to beat up loads of Rockets! I box Totodile and reunite my squad of six for what will no doubt be a no-holds barred super-throwdown as we enter the souvenir shop.

One of HGSS's more inspired changes, though preventing players from being able to obtain Slowpoketails was not. Let me buy my delicious illicit tailmeat, dammit!
​

We get to see Lance punt a guy with his Dragonite's Hyper Beam, which is fun.

Hey, my dawdling means that for once this line is justified!
​

The Rocket HQ is just as eerie as I remember it. Seriously, as a kid the music of this place unsettled me so much. And it still does, really. Just sheer malevolence and spine-tingling creepiness. We get jumped by a Rocket Grunt... and then another... after passing one of the guard statues. In any other playthrough I'd probably avoid the rest of them and turn off the master switch, but here I really want to get as much experience as possible, so let's not.

It takes me ages to clear out the first room of the HQ. Once I make it to the exit, Lance heals me and then makes himself scarce. Gee, thanks. You know, I'm quite surprised that no Pokemon game yet has (as far as I can remember) had you team up with a partner in the vein of DPP's stat trainers when taking on a villainous team's hideout. The closest thing is fighting Team Galactic with Riley, and in that case you only take on two grunts right at the end.

It just me or does it look like Persian is stroking its chin?​

In the big room I find a Protein! I can't believe it's taken this long to find any vitamins. I give it to Suspicious, whose antsy Bug-type Hidden Power will appreciate the extra might. Lance, who got here first, sticks around to tell me I need to find two passwords. And both the trainers who have them are... in this room. Bit of a letdown, really. I run into a grunt who has a tendency to start his sentences with "hyuck-hyuck-hyuck!" Kinda gross. The hyuck-er, as I tend to think of him, tells me the first password, and a rare female grunt tells me the other. Cool, that was quick.

The boss's office looks nice, though.

At the door we're stopped by... Rupa! He tells us Lance thrashed him and then lectured him about morality and ethics to add insult to injury. He angrily calls Lance a bleeding heart, shoves me, and leaves. Nice to see you again, emo boy.

Once we enter the office we're challenged by the boss, a nameless executive in an admittedly quite nice-looking suit. Unfortunately he's not much tougher than his underlings (though it's better than the five-Koffing abomination HGSS gave him - I mean, having multiple instances of the same Pokemon on your team? Get some self-respect, man).

The executive runs away after I beat him, leaving behind a Murkrow that can talk for some reason. So, in a bizarre sequence, Murkrow blurts out the password to the generator room: "HAIL GIOVANNI". Bit on the nose, but whatever. I know HGSS made this sequence a bit more interesting, but it's still random as hell.

Anyway, some sort of I've-played-this-game-before intuition clues me in that a big fight's upcoming, so I heal before approaching the door. I input the password and unlock it, but two Rockets show up to stop me. Just as they're about to do the unthinkable and take me on together, Lance shows up to save me. The Rockets take us both on, but because this is Gen II and double battles don't exist yet, we just fight the Executive and not the partner grunt.

She has a nasty-looking Arbok with a threatening Bite attack, but I have the good sense to lead with a Berry-equipped Cyberbear, whose Psychic-type Hidden Power 3HKOs. Next up is Murkrow; I switch to CPU, who manages a 2HKO. And last up is Gloom. Since Cyberbear is exhausted, I opt for Suspicious. HP Bug isn't particularly effective but given that the Gloom keeps using Sweet Scent, it's very much not an issue.

Once the Rockets are defeated, they all clear off and Lance and I proceed into the generator room to take out the Electrode powering the machine, with Lance taking the three on the right-hand side. Fun fact: Lance walks offscreen in this sequence and just... disappears. Like, you'd think he'd just be waiting out of sight, but if you white out while fighting the Electrode and come back to the HQ, walking around the other rooms and looking into the generator room shows that he's not there at all. That's a weird little curiosity I found a while back.

Anyway, fighting the Electrodes isn't much fun, but I figure I may as well grab some free experience, so I adopt a delightfully simple and cruel sacrificial strategy: leading with the team members who need experience the most, then switching to a more experienced team member and letting the Electrode explode in their face. Works an absolute treat. Once they're vanquished, Lance tells me I'm the best thing since sliced bread and gives me HM06, which Team Rocket apparently had. I've got a fondness for Whirlpool, even though it's useless.

And that's that done! The fat guy who was blocking the door of the Mahogany Gym has vanished along with Team Rocket (hang on, was he the same guy trying to hawk Slowpoketails earlier on? Mind blown) so maybe it's time to obtain my fifth badge. But before I do, I've got a hot date with a certain Kangaskhan to arrange...


Current team
Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 26)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 26)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 26)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 26)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 26)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 26)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

​

Being as it's Friday, I return to Union Cave in hopes of beating the Kangaskhan-wielding Pokemaniac. This time, my increased levels pay off, and I'm able to finally bring it down! Suspicious lands the finishing blow, and gets an absolute crapton of experience in return.

The trainers on the floor below aren't nearly as tough, but I've always liked that they use Eevee and the Kanto starters. Cooltrainers in Gen II are very stylish, wish I was one. Anyway, once they're all taken care of, I come across that most exciting of things: a wild Lapras! Well, I can't imagine why I'd want to catch that, so I knock it out instead.

Is Friday part of the weekend now? Great news if so.
​

Anyway, on the way out I see Frieda! You know, Frieda of Friday. Cool. She gives me a Poison Barb and you already know where I'm going with this, it's absolutely worthless to me.

Remembering that defeating Team Rocket causes some trainers to appear at the Lake of Rage, I stop off there and do some more training, picking up TM10, Hidden Power, from a guy in a pleasantly remote house at the north end of the lake. Sweet, an attack Unown can learn! ...except it would never be able to actually use TM10, since it would never be able to forget Hidden Power in the first place. Dumb. Right, now my squad are solidly in their late 20s, it's time to fight Pryce...

Mmm, actually let's not. Overall the trainers in Chuck's gym (and Chuck himself) are weaker than the ones in Mahogany, and there's a bunch of swimmers between here and there I haven't beaten up yet, so yeah, let's cross the sea and take care of things in Cianwood.

Boy, as a Crystal-native player, not having the Battle Tower be here just feels so... wrong. It's like being in Bizarro World. Wait, did I already say that?
​

It's funny how childhood makes things seem bigger. I remember the sea routes around the Whirl Islands being huge and difficult to traverse. But they're, um... really not. No idea if I'll end up exploring the Whirl Islands in this playthrough, but probably not since it's just a massive dump of items and one very difficult-to-catch legendary. Hardly worth the bother unless I'm gagging for extra Pearls or something.

None of the Swimmers prove too difficult, and some even give out respectable experience, particularly the guy with two Gyarados. The squad are starting to push 30! It's so tragic how in Johto that's bordering on overpowered.

Anyway, before long we wind up in Cianwood, idyllic island getaway du jour. Have a delightfully relaxing lofi remix to set the mood.

Not much to do here, but after a few minutes I remember I'm still on an errand and pick up the SecretPotion. I'll give that to Amphy at some point. You know, whenever. Right, time to head to the gym! Ugh, I need an HM to fully traverse this place so I have to leave someone behind - bye for now, Spiritguy. Your Steel-type skills are hardly going to be useful here, but you'll get your chance to shine at the next gym.

The trainers here are annoyingly tough; I have to go to the Pokemon centre after every battle. But once they're dealt with, it's time to face Chuck! Looks like you're in the spotlight once again, Cyberbear. Feel privileged, no other member of my team has a type advantage over two of the Johto gyms.

I give Cyberbear the last Berry in my bag and challenge Chuck, who sends out Primeape. It starts off with Rage which of course subsequently increases its Attack when I strike it. It then hits with Fury Swipes, bringing Cyberbear down to 2 HP, but luckily my second Hidden Power is a critical hit, and Primeape faints.

I contemplate switching out to CPU as Chuck sends out Poliwrath, as of course Poliwrath is part Water-typed and therefore weak to Electric. But this is Cyberbear's appointed job, and I'm keen to see if he can finish the job himself. So instead I send out the Geodude I was forced to bring, and let it die to a Surf while I heal Cyberbear back up.

No doubt aware that Dynamicpunch is an even poorer choice than usual, Poliwrath then attempts to use Hypnosis, but the first two uses miss, allowing me to deal around 50% damage with Hidden Power. Unfortunately, the third attempt works, and Poliwrath uses Surf as I apply a Full Heal, doing over 70% of damage. That won't do. I switch out to Hydro, sacrificing him to allow me to heal Cyberbear once again.

But Poliwrath's fourth Hypnosis connects as well! Dammit. I switch to TotalClef and similarly sacrifice him in order to heal Cyberbear. This time, Poliwrath's fifth Hypnosis misses, and I'm able to bring it to ~20% with a third Hidden Power. Abandoning all finesse, Poliwrath uses Surf as I go in for the kill, bringing Cyberbear down to ~30% - but this leaves me able to strike with a final Hidden Power, causing it to faint.

Woohoo! That was a fun fight. Chuck hands over the Stormbadge and his wife kindly gives us HM02, Fly. Sweet, I've got a Pidgey in my PC that can make use of that, it'll make getting around much easier.

With all that done, it's time to depart from Cianwood. I can confidently predict that we'll never come here again.


Current team
Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 29)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 29)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 28)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 29)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 28)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 28)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Alright Spiritguy, your time to shine has come.

...except not because CPU and Hydro are equally useful here due to the lack of single-typed Ice Pokemon pre-Gen III. After flying back to Mahogany and doing a spot of grinding on Route 43, I feel ready to take on the gym there. Time for badge number six!

Much like Route 41, I remember this being so much harder as a child. Mahogany Gym's puzzle is probably the hardest of all the Johto gyms but it's still... not that hard. But it still took me ages to figure out the correct route to Pryce the first time.

Nonetheless, I slide around and take out all the gym trainers, making use of Suspicious for the one Jynx that shows its face but blasting all the Seel and Swinub with electricity and water. Right, time for the big man. He'd be so much threatening if he wasn't using the exact same Pokemon his underlings used. But I guess they wanted to save Sneasel for the rival and Delibird for the Ice Path. Oh, well.

He opens with - what a shock! - Seel. CPU, pleasingly faster, uses Hidden Power for ~40%. Pryce's Seel uses Icy Wind, then Headbutt to flinch me. Holy crap, this Seel actually has some strategy. That, I was not expecting.

Its second Headbutt fails to flinch and CPU gets in a second hit. One more and we're done. But then it uses Rest, healing off the damage... and allowing me three unimpeded turns in which I can get the 3HKO I need. But then out comes Dewgong, which despite also being slower, only takes a paltry 20% from Hidden Power and KOs me with Aurora Beam.

I switch in TotalClef to do a tiny speck of damage and survive a hit before using the next turn to revive CPU. Suspicious is sent out next, and strikes first to inflict another respectable 20% of damage. Right, if I can get one more hit in, CPU can just about take two Aurora Beams at full health and hopefully finish it -

But dammit, Dewgong gets a crit and OHKOs. At around 50%, CPU is unlikely to be able to finish it before being knocked out. Looks like someone else will have to finish the job, then. CPU gets in two strikes, leaving Dewgong at ~10%. Cyberbear gets to claim the kill, and I leave it in to soften up Piloswine. Unexpectedly, all of Pryce's team is slower than mine. Cyberbear gets in a fairly unexceptional first strike, but then Piloswine KOs in return with Blizzard. Just Hydro and Spiritguy left. We should be able to do this...

Hydro up first. Its first strike does a surprisingly high amount - 40%, while Piloswine uses Icy Wind. Then Pryce uses a Hyper Potion, undoing all my good work. While I get in one final strike, a retaliatory Blizzard promptly KOs. All on you, Spiritguy. Its Steel-type Hidden Power is similarly strong, leaving Piloswine at ~10%. Piloswine uses Blizzard once again - and misses, leaving me open to land a final strike and win!

Pryce hands over the Glacierbadge and some sage words of elderly wisdom I've already forgotten.

Six badges down! Go me. What do I do now? Oh yeah, I just remembered Amphy is still dying on the top floor of the Lighthouse, I should probably go and do something about that. Back to Olivine it is, since there's nowhere in particular I'm dying to go and use my newest HM. Jasmine thanks me and leaves, presumably dropping through one of the holes in the floor instead of doing the sensible thing and taking the stairs.

So I guess she's our next challenge... and I have a feeling this one is gonna be pretty tough indeed.




Current team
Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 31)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 30)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 29)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 29)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 31)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 30)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Well, this should be fun. None of my Unown squad have a type that's particularly helpful against Jasmine, except Hydro (and then only for her Steelix, which unhelpfully knows Sunny Day. Not that I'm worried about it weakening my Water attacks when it can probably just OHKO me anyway).

Right. Let's have a dry run. (So to speak.) I enter the Olivine Gym, memorable only for being by far and away the most boring gym in the entire series.

Against Jasmine's two Magnemite, Hydro and CPU are most likely to do the most damage. I lead with Suspicious, hoping to soften up Magnemite #1 and leave it in a weakened state for another member of the squad to pick it off. It shrugs off an initial hit and paralyses with Thunder Wave before landing a hit with Thunderbolt. Suspicious, having inflicted only a sliver of damage, promptly faints.

I don't want to use Hydro too early as it's my only weapon against Steelix, so I send out CPU. It gets a critical hit with Hidden Power, leaving Magnemite within range of a KO next turn. It uses Thunder Wave again but fails to paralyse, and goes down.

Magnemite #2 comes out to play. This one gets off a successful Thunder Wave and then 2HKOs with Hidden Power while CPU fails to attack. Ugh. Let's give Spiritguy a chance - Magnemite tries to use Supersonic, but fails, letting Spiritguy inflict a miserable 10% damage. Uggghhh. Come on. Next turn, Magnemite uses Thunder Wave and subsequently gets a turn of full paralysis to score another KO.

Right. Time to go for broke. I send out Hydro and get a respectable 40% of damage with Hidden Power. One more and I'm good. But Magnemite paralyses Hydro too. Uggggggggggggggggh. But I get lucky - next turn, Magnemite's Supersonic fails, and Hydro attacks once again for the KO.

Steelix time. I switch to Cyberbear and use a Przcureberry on Hydro. Steelix slams Cyberbear with Iron Tail, dropping it in one. Ugggghhhh. Hydro comes back out and does some surprisingly decent damage with Hidden Power, getting a respectable 30%. I cross my fingers that that's a low damage roll and I'll be able to 3HKO. Unexpectedly, Steelix chooses to use Screech instead of hitting me - but misses.

I strike again, bringing it down to ~30%, and Steelix goes for Iron Tail - which also misses. Oh, wow. I breathe a sigh of relief, but it's jumping the gun; Jasmine uses a Hyper Potion before I can attack again. Hidden Power brings it back to 60%, but that's bought it an extra turn. Hydro gets in another hit with Hidden Power, and Steelix responds with Iron Tail - and misses again. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Victory. I land one final hit and it faints.

Jasmine admits defeat, and hands over the Mineralbadge as well as TM23.

Mmm... yeah, after what I've just seen, I think I'll probably pass.​

As we exit, the Pokegear phone rings. Why, it's Professor Elm, no doubt furious that I threw the mystery egg in the PC instead of hatching it like he asked. He tells me Goldenrod City's Radio Tower is under attack by Team Rocket. Eh. I mean, that's no skin off my nose. As is generally the case when I do playthroughs of GSC, I didn't bother to pick up the radio card. And there's no Buena in this universe, so...

Ugh, all right. Let's go be a hero. All the Poison-types'll be fun for Cyberbear to beat up, he's been lagging behind of late.

On the way back to Goldenrod I notice that, since it's Tuesday, the Bug-Catching Contest is on. Yay! I'm much older and bigger and tougher now. Let's see if I can get something good and hopefully win something decent. On literally my third encounter I find a level 13 male Scyther - even though it uses Focus Energy, its attacks are still too weak to do serious damage to the level 29 Cyberbear, and I leave it at full health and shower it in Park Balls until one of them clicks.

Amusingly, Bug Catcher Josh and Cooltrainer Nick both catch Scyther too, with Josh coming in third place. I do better than last time, and finish in second. Which gets you... an Everstone. Mmm, that sucks. Ironically for what I want, placing third is the best result. I can't make good use of an Everstone OR a Sun Stone in this run, so I'd much rather a Gold Berry. Or even just a regular Berry.

Either way, fuck you, Nick. Everyone hates you.

Anyway, to Goldenrod we go. Some people might choose to infiltrate the Radio Tower by disguising oneself as a Team Rocket grunt. However, being the tough and manly sort that I am, I just brazenly stroll right in. Having just recently taken down a mighty level 35 Steelix, none of their piss-weak mons can stop me.

...but a big metal barrier can. Awfully annoying. Looks like we're off to the Underground, where Rupa appears and challenges me to a fight. His Golbat and Feraligatr utterly maul my squad with their nasty Bite attacks. Guh, I hate losing to this prick.

He's also got something purporting to be a Sneasel. Personally, I'm not convinced.​

I fight him again and make sure to lead with Cyberbear to take care of his Golbat more efficiently. This time, I manage to bring down his Feraligatr via sheer attrition, though by the end only CPU and Suspicious are left standing. CPU disposes of his Magnemite, and then his Haunter...

...slaughters me with Shadow Ball.

Uggggggggghhhh. Now I'm rather financially ruined, but I might have to grind a bit before I take him on a third time.


Current team
Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 31)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 31)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 31)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 31)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 32)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 31)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

After selling all of my TMs (hurts my heart to do so, but it's not like I can use any of them) and buying some battle items, I return to the Underground Tunnel, a little more prepared for taking on Rupa a third time. I lead with Cyberbear, equipped with a Bitter Berry to counteract his Golbat's Confuse Ray; it manages to 3HKO. CPU subsequently overcomes his Feraligatr, which pointlessly uses Rage before switching to Bite. His Sneasel and Magnemite pose no threat; finally, after healing Cyberbear up, his Haunter obliges me by using Curse on the first turn, allowing Hidden Power to KO. Rupa cries about how important love and friendship and other similar boring things are, and departs.

Into the switch/barrier maze we go! Another place I found devilishly confusing as a child. Maybe I was just a really stupid kid.

Thankfully, everyone here is much weaker than Rupa, so provide some nice experience for my team to chow down on. We're moving out of the early 30s now... soon comes middle age. But hopefully we won't need to grind too much before Clair.

In the final room I meet a familiar face.

Most unfortunately, I can say the same. Let's dance.
​

The director hands over the Card Key to enable me to get to the closed-off part of the tower, so I return to the surface, collecting the Amulet Coin along the way. Nice! Pity to get it so late in the game, though. I give it to Suspicious to hold, since there's not much better for him. Back at the Radio Tower, I brush aside the two weak grunts I've not yet fought before unexpectedly getting murdered by the first Executive's Golbat.

God, but the level spread in the Johto games is wacky. Fight a grunt with early-20s mons, then an executive not far off level 40.
​

Golbat again? Seriously? I hate everything.

The rematch against him isn't fun. His Leech Life heals almost as much as each attack does, and Bite - while blessedly not a healing move - is much more powerful. I have to attack with CPU and Cyberbear and rotate the other four in to buy time to heal them. But eventually, by the skin of my teeth, I bring the damned bat down.

Looks like I've managed it, people. I've found a way to make Neo Team Rocket challenging. Only took 22 years...

Mmm... not until you said that. Not to sound like a bigot, but you do all pretty much look the same to me.​

Proto-Ariana's actually a lot tougher this time around. Her Arbok rips through my squad with Bite, but I sacrifice TotalClef in order to heal up and manage to take it down. Murkrow isn't terribly difficult, but its Pursuit still manages to score two KOs before I can bring it down. Compared to them, her Vileplume almost feels like a fun fight.

And now it's time for the big man. Proto-Archer. His Houndour is pretty tough - though Suspicious, the only member of the squad to actually outspeed it, gets a nice KO - but wouldn't you know it, his Houndoom utterly annihilates me. Faint Attack is a solid OHKO on all of my team.

Well, never mind what I said earlier. Looks like it's going to take a lot of grinding to muscle past this guy...



Current team
Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 33)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 33)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 32)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 33)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 33)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 33)

 

[Suspicious Derivative]

Nice progress so far!

I have some comments on a few things.

Well, since the Name Rater isn't until Goldenrod City, it's more efficient to work out what each Unown's Hidden Power type is before catching. If it turns out to be the type I want, I'll catch it and give it the appropriate nickname. Psypoke has a useful Hidden Power page which guides you through manually working out what Hidden Power type you have which I'll be following.

Just curious, did you check the base power for the Hidden Power of each team member as well? If there is any simple way to do that.

Thanks. You've got some marvellous reading ahead if I do say so myself.

Yeah. Sadly, I haven't started yet, but it is on my to-do list. I'll get to it eventually.

Re the challenge concepts, the sandbox helps a lot. I tend to jot down ideas and then come back to them, tweaking as needed. I also like thinking about which games I haven't played in a while and what works on those particular titles - Unown obviously suits Johto fairly well. To give you a little preview, I'm planning a challenge on Pokemon XD (it may end up being the one I do after this one, we'll see) which started life as something quite different and gradually evolved into its current format after I went back and refined it a few times (I'll direct message you if you're curious, as I think it'll be a good one).

Good advice. Though I think I'll wait with writing down more ideas after finishing my first challenge. I have some ideas for possible follow-ups if my first challenge goes well, but I'd rather not get ahead of myself. Speaking of which, I though it over and decided that I'll start my challenge in June, a bit earlier than I had originally planned. It just feels better that way. Unless I am forced to change plans again. This year has already featured the surprise announcements of XC3 (which will even be released earlier than what they said at first) and S/V, I'd rather not get any more surprises.

As for your upcoming XD challenge, I will admit that I am very curious but you don't need to tell me the specifics, I can wait.

Wait, so is the GSC-era Violet Gym supposed to be a walkway over a massive drop like it is in HGSS? I never got that impression. Looks more like a corridor in a gloomy dungeon to me.

Same here. If that was what they were trying to do back in G/S/C, they were a bit ahead of their time since the technology couldn't really produce that illusion very well IMO.

Boy, as a Crystal-native player, not having Buena be here just feels so... wrong. It's like being in Bizarro World.

It is really strange when you go back to the first pair after playing the third version/sequel and notice that some things are just... missing. I have felt the same way when I have gone back to G/S, R/S, D/P, B/W and US/UM after playing their follow-up games. It makes me appreicate the follow-up games more.

Is Friday part of the weekend now? Great news if so.

I like to think that weekends start as soon as I get home from work on Fridays, so I will partly agree with this guy.

Also, I think the order in which you did things past Whitney was interesting, I have never done things in that order when playing the Johto games myself. Guess I prefer to go the more "linear" path even if the games offer you a choice of where you want to go.

Looking forward to the rest of this playthrough!

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Nice progress so far!

I have some comments on a few things.

Just curious, did you check the base power for the Hidden Power of each team member as well? If there is any simple way to do that.

I did not (not sure if it's possible to, as they're too low level for an IV calculator to be effective - and also the randomness is part of the fun). This is actually going to form the basis of my eventual "how each team member did" post at the end of the challenge, since I'm fairly certain that at least one of them has a very low base power for their move.

Same here. If that was what they were trying to do back in G/S/C, they were a bit ahead of their time since the technology couldn't really produce that illusion very well IMO.

It worked fairly well in Mt Silver (Red's chamber specifically). Not sure how well they could really have done a Flying gym otherwise... Gen III's is a bit janky as well.

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Having momentarily forgotten that one can go to Blackthorn in GS before clearing out the Radio Tower, I proceed east from Mahogany onto Route 44, beating up the trainers there, and make my way through Ice Path. There's a few good items in here, including an Iron and a Carbos! I give the first to CPU (whose Defence is the highest of the squad) and the second to Suspicious (the fastest). Play to your strengths, and all that.

Anyway, now that I've reached Blackthorn where's there's nothing for me to do yet, it's time for that funnest of activities: grinding.

I clear out Dark Cave for the few items it contains, including one useless pair of BlackGlasses, and do a few trips up and down Route 45 with the aid of Pidgey's Fly. The wild Pokemon here are perfect for what I need - Graveler and Gligar are prime targets for Hydro in particular. When the time comes for CPU and Suspicious to level up I take them back into the Ice Path, where Golbat are abundant for the former and Swinub and Jynx are easy pickings for the latter.

Now... how to approach Proto-Archer. His team of Houndour, Koffing, and Houndoom poses a whole set of logistical problems. For a start, how to mitigate his Houndoom's powerful Dark moves. There isn't an X Special Defence in Gen II, and nor is there Zinc. So that's not an option.

For another, how to last long enough to hit it with a super-effective Hidden Power (Water) and KO it. Hmmm... what I could potentially do is buy a bunch of X Speed and X Special, then set up on Houndour in order to turn Hydro into an overpowered titan that can outspeed and KO his Houndoom.

But that's not viable. Not least because his Houndour knows Roar, though it's admittedly unlikely it'd opt to use that over a super-effective Bite or Faint Attack. No, it's too strong for that - a single Bite or Faint Attack will likely do well over 50%.

I could theoretically just take Houndour down as quickly as possible, then set up on Koffing. However, Proto-Archer will always opt to switch to Houndoom instead because it has an advantage against Unown's Psychic-type. So that option's out.

I think the only way to do this is to just use sheer bulk and muscle to push past him.

Many hours of grinding later, I return to the Radio Tower with Hydro several levels above everyone else. Let's do this.

Ulp.
​

Thankfully, Hydro is levelled enough to outspeed and OHKO Proto-Archer's Houndour (and thank the lord for that Mystic Water, too). So it's straight to the big dog. It goes straight for a devastating Faint Attack, but Hydro survives the hit with 8 HP and strikes back with Hidden Power, doing a solid 50%.

It's the work of a moment to switch out for Suspicious - as the second-strongest member of the team, thankfully also capable of surviving one hit - and using the spare turn to fully heal Hydro. With Suspicious promptly sacrificed, I bring Hydro back in and Houndoom uses Bite -

- and Hydro flinches, causing me to grind my teeth so hard it sounds like breaking glass.

Not to worry, I expected something like this. I switch out to CPU, who unfortunately dies to a single Bite. Aaaand again. I send out Spiritguy, who also dies to a single Bite - but I use the turn to fully heal Hydro again, and send it back out next turn. Houndoom uses Faint Attack, and Hydro survives with 9 HP this time, responding with a second super-effective Hidden Power and knocking the hellhound out.

I believe the youths of today call this a "flex"​

I let Hydro have a well-earned rest and let Cyberbear deal with Koffing, pleasingly getting a critical hit and scoring an OHKO.

Woohoo! That's Team Rocket dealt with at last. I breathe out very hard and give myself a fist-bump.

Huh, just remembered Hydro was the one who triumphed over Whitney's Miltank, too... Goldenrod City is clearly an auspicious place for my little K-shaped buddy.

Anyway, the Director rushes in, congratulates me, and gives me a Rainbow Wing in thanks, assuring me it's not much. What?! It causes Ho-Oh to appear, it's literally one of the most valuable artefacts in the region. Plus you can wear it and look super snazzy (as demonstrated below). If you want to talk crap gifts, how about Mary giving us a Pink Bow?

​

But I won't be going after Ho-Oh... yet. (Maybe. Idk.)

No, my path takes me back eastward! To where I've already been, but there's something new and exciting waiting for me there - Blackthorn Gym, site of our eighth and final gym badge. Hey, TotalClef! It's finally your time to shine. Too bad you can't get your boosting item until AFTER the gym, though.*

*Not talking about the Dragon Fang here. Little-known fact: due to a glitch, the Dragon Fang has no in-game function at all - it's the Dragon Scale, normally used to evolve Seadra, which boosts Dragon moves instead. Sadly, it needs Waterfall to access.

Back in Blackthorn, the gym is unblocked. This is another gym that irritatingly requires an HM to traverse, though I don't feel much guilt about boxing Hydro while I take out the gym trainers given its large level advantage over the other guys, and the fact that it's not likely to be much use against dragons anyway.

How cute that you get a practice boulder.​

Astute readers may have surmised from its lack of combat-related achievements thus far that TotalClef is one of the less powerful members of the squad. However, it impresses me by being able to 2HKO all of the first trainer's Dratini, even without any boosting item. Maybe this'll be easier than I was expecting. CPU steps up to take out all the Horsea and Seadra, though. Heavily stocked up on Revives and Lemonade, I equip TotalClef with a PrzCureBerry to ward off the first of many inevitable Thunder Waves and approach the self-proclaimed world's best dragon master.

Despite being effective at taking out the gym trainers' Pokemon, TotalClef falls ever-so-slightly short of 3HKOing Clair's trio of Dragonair, so I bring in the others to help, leading with Spiritguy and then Cyberbear. They don't prove too difficult to take down, though - their elemental attacks are all 3HKOs in turn, leaving me plenty of room to heal between attacks.

But then she brings out Kingdra. It's a vicious attacker, but thankfully only Spiritguy (possessed of the lowest Special Defence of the squad) is OHKOed by its Surf - all of the rest of the team can survive one hit and strike back before being knocked out. I've got a bag full of Revives, but restoring a member of the squad to half health doesn't do the trick - they have to be at full health to be sure of surviving.

Thankfully, much like her flashy cousin, Clair likes to use Hyper Beam, allowing me a few crucial extra turns.

TotalClef's rare Dragon-type Hidden Power is my strongest asset here, but it's still not strong enough to do more than 5HKO if I'm lucky. As it happens, I am - she goes for Smokescreen on the first turn, and Hidden Power still hits - next turn, she uses Surf, leaving TotalClef with a shred of health but getting hit by a second Hidden Power in turn. I let her get the KO - it'll never last. Additional attacks from Suspicious and Cyberbear eventually whittle it down to around 25%, but Clair has a Hyper Potion, which she predictably deploys. Not to worry, though. I make use of their final turns to heal, since it's pointless to attack at low health because Kingdra outspeeds, and bring TotalClef back out. Kingdra goes for broke with a Hyper Beam, which TotalClef survives - allowing me two turns to bring it back down to 50%.

But of course it gets another knockout next turn. I send out Hydro and heal TotalClef again, allowing CPU a brief moment in the sun to get in some chip damage on the way. Then it's TotalClef's turn again. At its current health, Kingdra will survive one more Hidden Power - but I have an extra weapon in my bag; an X Special I picked up a while ago and still haven't used.

Ah, but how to use it? I can't survive more than one turn of damage, so there's no way I can deploy it without fainting the next turn.

...unless Kingdra uses Hyper Beam, that is.

I deploy the X Special while Kingdra uses Surf; next turn, I heal as it uses Surf again. I continue to heal, waiting for it to fall into my cunning trap. After five applications of Lemonade, my plan finally works; Kingdra uses Hyper Beam, and TotalClef survives with 20 HP remaining. Next turn, I let loose with a beefed-up Hidden Power as Kingdra fails to attack, and score enough damage to finish it.

WaHOOO! Well, that's it. All eight badges. What an emotional moment. I'd like to thank everyone who followed me on this challenge, it's been a real rollercoaster, it's been absolutely spl-

Oh, but wait. Of course, we don't get the badge. Clair, being an obnoxious and disagreeable sort, refuses to hand over the RisingBadge unless we go into the Dragon's Den to retrieve the Dragon Fang.

It's at this point I decide to have a little bit of fun. Well, more fun. Although Clair wants us to find the Dragon Fang, as it turns out, I already have one. Yes, when I traded myself a Totodile at the start of the run, I made sure it was holding a Dragon Fang. Amusingly, this workaround was accounted for, and Clair will accuse the player of trying to cheat. I made note of this in the GSC thread a while ago, but had been dying to try this out for myself all the same ever since.

​

We'll do things the legit way, then. I make my way into the depressingly empty Dragon's Den (did I mention Crystal is the best Johto game yet?) and pick up my second, sadly useless, Dragon Fang. Clair appears from nowhere and congratulates me for this truly heroic feat, handing over the RisingBadge.

Power to do what, use Surf and Whirlpool in an empty cavern?
But you already knew I could do that because I've got seven badges oh my GOD this is so unfathomably stupid​

Anyway, now that I've finally got all eight badges, Professor Elm calls to give me a Master Ball. Sweet! No idea what I'll use that on (I did encounter Entei while grinding, but there's no reason for me to go chasing after the beasts in this run) but maybe I'll trade it to another save file.

So now it's time to head east from New Bark, and face the gauntlet that is the Pokemon League! Also, I need to stop off in Mt Mortar and get TotalClef his Dragon Scale, a nice but belated reward. But that's all for next time...




Current team

Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 37)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 38)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 37)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 36)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 36)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 39)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

Armed with the newfound power of Waterfall, I set out...

...to find a new HM slave, since Totodile can't learn it. Grrr. After a brief bit of reading, I opt to catch a Psyduck since it can learn Surf, Whirlpool, Waterfall, and Strength as well as Flash, which I need for Mt Mortar. I head into the upper cave and root around for items, eventually locating the prized Dragon Scale! This is given to TotalClef. At the end of my exploration I encounter the Karate King, who Cyberbear dispatches with relative ease. He tries to give me a Tyrogue but I'm all out of space. That, and I don't want it.

Anyway. The time has come to move ahead, and at last begin my journey to the Pokemon League. I make my way back to New Bark Town and head east, regretfully leaving Hydro - the highest-levelled team member - behind for now since an HM slave is mandatory for this stretch of the journey. Hopefully the others will cope. Surfing eastwards takes me down a large stretch of river, though there's a large tributary to the south blocked off by rocks.

When I first played this game I was utterly captivated by this mysterious side stream. Large paths to nowhere of this nature are surprisingly rare in the games, and I was convinced that there had to be some intricate secret about it. Could the rocks be somehow removed or bypassed? Where did it lead to - a secret shore? The open ocean?

But nah, apparently it really just does go nowhere. Bit of a letdown, not gonna lie.

​

I think I'm prepared to face the tough trainers on this route, but boy am I wrong. The first trainer, with her trio of Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, and Venusaur, carves a swathe through my squad and I have to backtrack to New Bark to heal. Then the next guy's Magneton proves immensely difficult to take down, and though I eventually beat him I'm forced to backtrack to New Bark to heal. Then the guy with a Sandslash tears me a new arsehole, and I'm forced to backtrack to New Bark to heal. Then the Fisherman with two Qwilfish Pin Missiles the hell out of me, and I'm... you know where I'm going with this.

Luckily there's a house in the middle of the route where the inhabitant kindly heals you. Makes things a very little bit easier. But boy, if these twats are anything to go by, I've a lot of grinding to do.

...huh, interesting. Apparently Bird Keeper José was so fearsomely powerful that the developers had to nerf him in Crystal. Beware the power of that level 35 Farfetch'd, intrepid trainers.

Amusingly, the last few trainers on Route 26 pose much less difficulty than the others. Cooltrainer Jake, the penultimate trainer, goes down without even managing to land a hit. Lame.

Well duh, you've only got one Pokemon on your team and it's... Rapidash.

And over here we've got another lovely little pond that doesn't go anywhere or contain any items. Top-quality immersion but lousy game design.​

But we've made it! We're at the doors of the Pokemon League Reception Gate. Since you don't actually need any HMs to get through Victory Road itself, it's a shame I can't swap Psyduck out. But there's only one trainer in here, though I expect him to be a truly nasty fight. The guard lets me through and, after talking briefly with the two rather unfriendly muscleheads blocking the side exits for no discernible reason, I head inside the cave.

For all that the NPCs talk with dread about Victory Road, it's, uh... kind of underwhelming when all's said and done. Union Cave feels more difficult to traverse than this place. I'm quite fond of the gloomy, slightly desolate atmosphere the lack of trainers gives it, but it'd just be a more interesting cave if it... had some trainers.

I pick up all the items quickly enough, including the mighty TM26, Earthquake! If any of my team could use TMs I'd be salivating at the prospect. As it is I'll probably just sell it for some cheap and easy ready cash. And that's literally all there is to do here, so I make my way to the back exit, where I already know that Rupa lies in wait to challenge me. I'm running quite low on healing items so I resolve to do a test run and see if I can beat him, and run back to Goldenrod for more if I can't.

His Sneasel lets off a fairly weak Fury Cutter and Suspicious gets a judicious KO in return with Hidden Power. Nice. Next comes... Golbat. Ugh. I switch to Cyberbear and hope for a swift death. It uses Confuse Ray which Cyberbear thankfully overcomes, but wears me down with a couple of nasty Bite attacks before I can finish it. CPU is up next and, after also being confused, survives on 4 HP to finish it.

Agh. Magneton. Hydro would ironically have been the best option here. Not really much I can do except wear it down. Suspicious does a few chips of about 10% each but gets quickly KO'd. I heal CPU and use it again, finding it to be even less effective. It gets paralysed by Thunder Wave and fails to attack, sealing its doom.

Hmm. Spiritguy might as well have a go. Magneton immediately goes for Thunder Wave, but I'd forgotten that it's still holding a Przcureberry from earlier on. Sweet! Unfortunately, HP Steel does an almost invisible amount of damage. Magneton gets a critical hit with Thundershock and gets a free paralysis out of it, then strikes again for yet another KO.

Let's see if TotalClef can finish the job. Its Dragon Hidden Power doesn't work spectacularly, but it does just enough to chip it to death in three hits. Phew. That was horrendous.

...and then his Haunter comes out and absolutely sweeps everyone still standing with Shadow Ball.

Yeah, no. Okay, gonna need some boosters to do this. I reset and backtrack to the nearest PC where I can swap Psyduck for Pidgey so that I can fly to Goldenrod, picking up a Bitter Berry on the way to give Cyberbear a shield against Golbat's Confuse Ray. Flogging all of my TMs at the Dept Store makes the subsequent 30,000 bill somewhat easier to bear, but at least now I've got a backpack absolutely stuffed full of items.

Back up the mountain to Victory Road, then! Let's do this one more time.

With my bag more prepared, I do a lot better this time around. Sneasel is swiftly dispatched, and the addition of a held Bitter Berry means that Cyberbear is able to KO Golbat without assistance (though narrowly). When Magneton comes out I switch to TotalClef and apply an X Special, healing multiple times but stubbornly wearing away at the big metal blob until it's finished.

Then Haunter's up. CPU is the one with the highest Defence so I send it out and immediately deploy an X Defend, hoping to emulate the success I had against Morty all that time ago. Thankfully, Rupa's Haunter starts off with Confuse Ray, effectively giving me a free turn. A second X Defend means that Shadow Ball only inflicts around 30 HP. But I'm not done yet. I use a third and laugh as the next hit fails to take me below 50% health. We're in business! Time to go for a Hidden Power. Almost as if sensing that Shadow Ball won't get it anywhere, Haunter chooses this turn to use Curse. Damn! Now I'm going to have to heal. Happily I bought lots of Lemonade...

Thankfully, Hidden Power does around 25% to Haunter, meaning that one more hit will kill it. I heal up and strike once more, dropping it.

Rupa sends out Kadabra, and I switch to Cyberbear intending to sacrifice it while I heal another member of the squad. But, no doubt flummoxed by my team's troublesome Psychic typing, Kadabra refuses to attack directly and instead uses Future Sight over and over, even though Cyberbear is at 2 HP. Unfortunate remnant of RBY's dreadful code, maybe? Oh well. I send out Suspicious and get the easiest KO ever.

And then it's Feraligatr last of all. I was not looking forward to facing Feraligatr - possessed as it is of painful Dark attacks like Bite and Crunch - but oddly, in this battle Bite is gone from its movepool, replaced with the much more manageable Slash. Lovely stuff. CPU brings it down to the red health before a revived Cyberbear clinches the win. Woohoo! And that's that. Rupa cries like a little baby and scuttles off. Well, that's the last we'll be seeing of him.

With the way cleared, I proceed out of Victory Road and up to the Pokemon League. First order of business is going to the PC. Welcome back, Hydro. First time we've had a team member absent for nearly an entire update, but hopefully the last.

Look how shocked I am to have made it all this way!
​

And there we are. I've done it - made it at last to the Pokemon League. Good going, letterlocke boys and girls.

But let's not congratulate myself too much yet. It's not over. The Elite Four are waiting, and something tells me they're going to be pretty tough cookies.

An old man by the healing counter asks if I'd like to be Teleported home to train. Mmm, I'm good (where am I going to train in Johto that's better than here?). Well, training is definitely what I want to be doing, though - I'd like a nice level advantage over the first couple of Elite Four members, so I better knuckle down. Might take a little while - but once I'm ready, it's officially on.



Current team

Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 39)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 38)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 38)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 39)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 38)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 39)

________________________________________________________________​

Must apologise for the humongous gap between this update and the last. Real life suddenly got very busy.

 

[QuentinQuonce]

And iiiiiiiiiiiit's grind time.

As mentioned in the last update, I want to get a good lead in levels over the first member of the Elite Four before I begin. I head back into Victory Road and start running back and forth until wild Pokemon show up. This means lots of Graveler exploding in my face, Ursaring surviving multiple hits and then using Rest at the last moment, and Golbat just generally being irritating.

But we persist. Putting on some sikk beatz makes it more bearable.

Spiritguy actually has an easy time of it, since HP Steel hits a lot of stuff in Victory Road super-effectively. Being able to easily OHKO all the Graveler and Rhyhorn, Hydro is by far the easiest to level up so I save it for last. Suspicious and CPU have slightly less opportunity here, so in the end I head south out of the cave and beat up some Raticate instead. They're a bit lower-levelled, but at least they don't explode on you.

Many tedious hours later, once we're all sufficiently levelled up, I make use of the kindly old gent and his Abra and head to Goldenrod, where I at last divest myself of every superfluous item I still have. I've got a decent amount of money but in the context of buying a metric ton of healing items, not that much - and Hyper Potions are pricey. Instead, I load up on Soda Pop and Lemonade, since even at this stage all my Unown are barely more than 100 HP each. I've also been consciously saving every PP-restoring item I've found and boxing them, so now's the time to withdraw them. This leaves the main expense being Revives, and I have a feeling I'm going to be wanting a large amount of those. After selling all my remaining TMs and several valuable items I've held onto, I'm able to get about 30 of them.

One final thing I decide to take with me are some X Items. While I don't want to rely on these, there are one or two Pokemon I have to face that pose a hefty threat so I decide to have some insurance.

You know what, I was considering going to the Whirl Islands and clearing out all the items inside but I honestly don't think I need to; my final item tally is pretty good.

And my team in all their glory:

Hydro, CPU, and TotalClef all have their respective type-boosting items, while Suspicious has been holding onto the Amulet Coin. Needing items for the other two, I decide that Spiritguy can hold the Gold Berry I won from the Bug-Catching Contest earlier in the run, and opt for Cyberbear to hold a Psncureberry since I have a feeling it'll come in useful.

Okay, okay, okay. I'm ready. The time has come.

​

I summon all my courage and head up the stairs to the first chamber, where Will awaits atop a frozen pool.

He opens with Xatu while I lead with CPU to counter him. Though he starts by using Confuse Ray, CPU manages to hit with Hidden Power Electric, doing around 40%. It hits me with Psychic next turn, scoring an unimpressive amount of damage, and I get a second hit that brings it down to within a pixel of defeat. Will opts not to heal and hits again with Psychic, but CPU heroically overcomes its confusion a third time and KOs.

Will decides to send out his second Xatu next. By now I badly need to heal, but this Xatu doesn't have anything super-effective to hit me with, either, and fires off an ineffective Psychic. I strike back with HP Electric and once again eventually 3HKO.

Next out is Jynx. I switch to Suspicious and get struck by a critical hit Ice Punch, but its Hidden Power Bug unexpectedly OHKOs. Exeggutor follows and I stick with Suspicious, hoping that I'll be able to outspeed and get another easy KO here. To my delight, Suspicious proves to be faster and scores another OHKO. You beauty!

Bringing up the rear is Slowbro, whose moveset of both Curse and Amnesia makes an easy defeat seem unlikely. I switch back to CPU and get in an initial 30% hit with HP Electric, but Slowbro predictably uses Amnesia. My next hit takes it to 50% as it uses Curse. Ugh. One more hit takes it to ~25%, and it strikes back with a beefed-up Body Slam, knocking CPU out.

It's all on you, Suspicious - unless it heals. Mercifully, it does not - and HP Bug squeaks a KO. Woohoo!

Well... that was easier than expected. Might... might this whole Elite 4 business actually go smoothly and effortlessly? Let's find out...



Current team

Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 44)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 44)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 44)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 44)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 44)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 44)

 

[QuentinQuonce]

I'm not as worried about facing Koga as I might have been due to the lack of strong Bug-type moves in Gen II. But he is a tricky, slippery git so it's best to be on guard. Standing among the short trees that adorn his room, I take a deep breath and engage him in battle.

He opens with Ariados and I go for Cyberbear. Ariados opens with a Double Team and Hidden Power misses. It continues to increase its evasion as I fruitlessly attack, then gets a critical hit with Giga Drain. I get a hit in with Hidden Power as its next hit leaves me on 3 HP, then heal and manage to hit it again for the KO. Next up is Forretress - I don't have much to hit that thing with but I figure Hydro is a solid choice. Forretress sets up Spikes as I hit it for a middling 25%, but is rapidly taken down.

Crobat is next. It sets up with Double Team as I switch back to CPU, causing only one of my hits to land. Crobat then finishes CPU with Wing Attack. Time for Cyberbear to take over. It lands a Hidden Power, but Crobat badly poisons with Toxic. Luckily, the Psncureberry I gave to Cyberbear kicks in and neutralises the poison. My next Hidden Power misses and Crobat takes off around 35% with Wing Attack; the second Wing Attack brings me within range of an easy KO, but fortunately I land the next hit and faint it.

Koga goes for Muk. It, too, increases its evasion with Minimize. So much for his chief tactic being increasing statuses. Then it fires off a powerful Sludge Bomb, and Cyberbear faints. Let's see if TotalClef can finish the job. Its Hidden Power hits for a piddly amount of health, and Muk drops it with another Sludge Bomb. Agh, who next? Let's see if Hydro can do it. Muk uses Acid Armor, but this fails to decrease the damage from Hidden Power Water, and Hydro survives a Sludge Bomb to emerge victorious.

Last of all is Venomoth, who quickly uses Confuse Ray and Toxic to stump Hydro's attempts to quickly KO it. I revive Cyberbear and bring Venomoth to 50% with a super-effective Hidden Power. Venomoth fruitlessly uses Psychic as Cyberbear gets one final hit, knocking it out and winning the battle.

Beautiful. But it's definitely time to heal. I revive my fainted teammates and restore their PP before moving on. Since Cyberbear used up the Psncureberry, I give it a Mysteryberry to hold instead.

Bruno's room is fun. Big, bubbling lava pits on either side - it's like being back in the Blackthorn Gym. I stretch my tired limbs, appreciating the newfound heat, and approach.

Bruno sends out Hitmontop first, which evades Cyberbear's Hidden Power by using Dig. It's pretty sturdy, too - Hidden Power Psychic only does around 30%. Two hits from Dig leave me bruised so I heal before striking a third time, which brings it down to a single pixel of health. Aggghhh. Fortunately, I outlast him and get the KO.

Bruno sends out Onix next so I switch to Spiritguy, who hasn't found much use so far. By now I'm used to thrashing Onix in the field, but this one is a bit tougher and manages to set up Sandstorm before fainting. I send Cyberbear back out for Hitmonchan, but the Sandstorm damage combined with a hit from Fire Punch causes it to faint.

Time to dance another tune, then. Hydro takes over, but its Hidden Power Water barely leaves a mark. Fortunately, Hitmonchan is vulnerable to the Sandstorm damage, too, and a few turns of gradual damage brings it down. But Bruno sends out Machamp, which revenge kills with a powerful Rock Slide. Eep. We need Cyberbear again, I think. I send out Suspicious and use the turn to revive Cyberbear, and Machamp decimates it with another Rock Slide.

Oh, this thing's tough. Hidden Power Psychic puts a tiny dent in its health, but Rock Slide is an easy 2HKO - and once I send out TotalClef, Bruno uses a Max Potion, eliminating all the damage I've so far managed to inflict.

Okay. Okay. I revive Cyberbear again and consider my options. Rock Slide only has 10 PP, so I might be able to simply stall it out. TotalClef gets buried before it can do anything, but I send out Cyberbear again and use Hidden Power, getting struck by Rock Slide for 60% in return. And... heal. I restore HP a couple of times and Machamp resorts to using Cross Chop. Ineffective, but with a high critical-hit ratio - and sure enough, it lands one and OHKOs.

You're up, Spiritguy. For about ten seconds as I revive Cyberbear again. Spiritguy goes down, but Machamp now only has one Cross Chop left - and Cyberbear survives. Machamp's only move now is Vital Throw - and that's a solid 3HKO. We trade blows, but I heal and eventually get the KO. Phew. That Machamp was a tank.

Just Hitmonlee to go. It uses Hi Jump Kick, which unexpectedly KOs me. Bugger - I got overconfident. Only CPU and Spiritguy are still standing, but I reckon CPU can get the kill. It stomachs a few ineffective hits and responds in kind with Hidden Power Electric, clinching the win. Good going!

Okay, now I really need to heal. I restore all those in need of restoring and get ready to enter the next room. Last up is Karen, and I have a sense that she'll be the most difficult of the four. Let's do this.


Current team

Suspicious the Unown-A (Level 44)
TotalClef the Unown-J (Level 44)
Spiritguy the Unown-C (Level 44)
Cyberbear the Unown-G (Level 45)
CPU the Unown-I (Level 44)
Hydro the Unown-K (Level 44)