Walrus Aladyyn is Walrus (Sign-ups)

Hello, your resident doofus metalhead here with another Walrus competition. Send me songs that fit the categories I set up and I rate them, results are revealed live on discord etc etc. My taste is shit but so is yours so you might as well join and see how you do! I'm keeping it pretty simple for my first one, but hopefully it's still interesting enough.

Submit:
Preferably through Smogon PM but I'll accept Discord subs as well. Don't sub example songs for any category (there are only a couple of them, so it shouldn't be too hard).

Scoring:
Scale of 1-10, one decimal point, 0 for cat-fails (those shouldn't happen though), no gimmicks. Everything above 6 is at least pretty good.

About me:
Contrary to popular belief, I don't only listen to metal, even though that makes up a big chunk of my listening. I'm open to everything so don't hesitate with your subs. Electronic music is unlikely to do well but there's stuff I enjoy. Country is a go, I enjoy even the trashy stuff even if it's not something I go out of my way to listen to. Hip-hop is fine but make sure it's interesting enough sonically to hold my attention, lyrics don't matter to me much (unless they're exceptionally good, or exceptionally bad). If you sub rock/metal, make sure it's good! If you sub BABYMETAL, you're getting banned from this walrus. Don't.

Categories:

#1: Show me your (part of the) world
Send me a song by an act that's local to you. Your state/country should be sufficient, but getting even more local would be appreciated. Support the scene!
Exorcizphobia - About Us Without Us

#2 If you like vocals so much, why don't you marry them!
Apparently nobody in the walrus community likes harsh vocals nearly as much as I do, so hit me with the most interesting stuff you know. Voice is one of the more versatile instruments there is and we're trying to showcase that here. Give me your favorite strange and innovative vocals. Songs with Julie Christmas are pander-capped at 7 points.
Inquisition - Desolate Funeral Chant
Cult of Luna & Julie Christmas - The Wreck of S.S Needle

#3 Once Upon A Time
Our first and only lyrical category is a straight-forward one - send me a song with lyrics about history. Events, people, anything. If it's not immediately clear what exactly the song is about, I'd appreciate it if you told me when you sub.
Tormentor - Elizabeth Bathory
Vuur - Days Go By (about the 1666 London fire)

#4 Crush me with your thighs music
Make me want to lie down on the floor and never get up.
Warning - Faces

#5 Sunshine, rainbows, unicorns
To recover from the previous cat, give me a song that never fails to put a smile on your face.
Carly Rae Jepsen - Run Away With Me
Nifelheim - Sodomizer

#6 Heritage Night, část první
For this category, I want a song that's sung in a language that's not English, French, German, or weeb (songs in Japanese are ok, just not anime ones). In a vacuum, Slavic languages would probably do the best, but hit me with your best.
Lumsk - Ormin Lange
Peha - Chodec Na Lane

#7 Heritage Night, part two
One genre that seems to be way underrepresented in walruses is folk. So send me your best folky stuff. Note that your judge loves flutes.
The Moon & The Nightspirit - Egi Taltos
Damh the Bard - Noon of the Solstice

#8 If I love vocals so much, why don't I marry them?
One of the reasons I like harsh vocals so much is the fact that women can sing so much better than men so why even bother, right? For this cat, I want the best vocal performances by female singers. Anneke van Giersbergen and Julie Christmas are blacklisted from this cat, because it would be too easy if they weren't.
The Gathering - The May Song
Made Out of Babies - Stranger

#9 Karaoke Night
We all have those songs we sing in the shower, or when we're trying to walk straight down the street at 2 am. When this song comes up on the radio you can't help but sing along. When you walk up to a karaoke machine, this is the first song you look for.
Gob - Oh! Ellin
Iron Maiden - Fear of the Dark

#10 Burning down your village
All I want here is something fast and furious. Pretty simple.
Kreator - Pleasure to Kill
Judas Priest - Painkiller

#11 Straight to Video
Most music videos are bland and boring. Send me one that's visually interesting and pretty to look at. Something that will make me want to take screencaps every 15 seconds. I will be weighting the video portion more than the music portion.
LOONA/Yves - new
CHVRCHES - Lies

#12 Fade to Black
For the last category, I want closers. Every great album is crowned with a great final song and I want you to send me your favorites.
Converge - Jane Doe
Laura Stevenson - Wheel

Sign-ups will be open for like 2-3 weeks, I'll accept late-comers as long as they're not too late.

List of participants:
Robert Alfons
KnightsofCydonia

Myzozoa
MyNameIsNothing
Stan Soojung
StarBlim
Da Letter El
HeaLnDeaL

Shadestep
slurmz
Asek

Walrein
Lectrys
RODAN

Steven Snype
Lord Gaius

Bedschibaer
Eternally
Rapture

NotNova

bold: fully subbed
italic: partially subbed
 
Last edited:
Category 1 is in the books!


1st - Myzozoa - 8.9 points
Sleater Kinney - Light Rail Coyote
They should teach this in the „How to make a rock song 101“ class in music school. I like how the structure almost feels inverted compared to traditional song-writing – the verses are what grabs your immediate attention, while to chorus is kind of used to „fill the space“ (not trying to say it‘s filler, every part of this song is awesome).
2nd - Walrein - 8.4 points
The Sword - Cloak of Feathers
I never really got into The Sword myself but I do remember everyone loving them for a while and then getting very tired of them a couple of years later. I can‘t stand when bands go „full stoner“ so I really enjoy this song‘s clear trad conscience. Lots and lots of Sabbath in this, I‘ll let you decide whether that‘s good or not. Oh, and the vocals are PERFECT. On a somewhat unrelated note, the video reminds me of the Red Dwarf episode „Epideme“ a little, can‘t say whether that bumped up the score or not.
3rd - asek - 8.2 points
Courtney Barnett - Elevator Operator
This is definitely not elevator music. A really nice example of how to use voice as an instrument. The instrumentation itself is simple and the meat is in how Courtney weaves her vocals in and out. Very enjoyable.
4th - Lord Gaius - 7.8 points
Organized Konfusion - Stress
Great beat, enjoyable flows. I‘d say more but I‘m really bad at analyzing hip hop, it either feels right or no. This hits the spot.
5th - Bedschibaer - 7.3 points
Eyes in the Void - No Savior
If I did a walrus like 6 years ago this would probably win in a landslide. I still enjoy most takes on this sound to some degree, even if they‘re kind of formulaic. Fun song, would only need a couple beers to jump into the pit.
6th - Stan Soojung - 7.2 points
FKA twigs - Hide
Something that would be perfect for when I‘m lying in bed just about to fall asleep but there‘s like 15 minutes during which I can just relax completely and let my mind drift. Great vocal performance, the backing is fine but ultimately not that important.
7th - Da Letter El - 7.1 points
The Bangles - Walk Like An Egyptian
A banger it is.
8th-T - Rapture - 6.9 points
The Bonemen - Autumn
There‘s this feeling of familiarity I can‘t shake. It‘s like I‘ve heard a different variation of this song before. It keeps nagging me and takes away a little enjoyment out of it. One thing I especially like about this song is that it knows exactly where it wants to go and how to get there. Having to listen to it on Spotify and see that it‘s an opening track to an album makes me give it a pass on the open-endedness because well, that‘s how an opener should be. Might be a bit unfair but idk. Song‘s good.
8th-T - Robert Alfons - 6.9 points
The Ex - White Liberals
I really like all the buzzing, the disjointed vocals fit very well. Unfortunately the song is all build-up. I was waiting for some sort of climax but it never got there
10th - StarBlim - 6.7 points
The Makers - Four Button Suit
Short and to the point. No need to get crazy complicated when trying to make a good song. If this was 4 minutes I‘d probably hate it but at 2 it‘s cool.
11th - Eternally - 6.3 points
Tame Impala - The Less I Know the Better
Not as bad as on the Of Montreal song but the vocals are still annoying. The instrumental is really fucking good though.
12th - KnightsOfCydonia - 5.5 points
Kansas - The Point of Know Return
I found myself tapping my foot to the beat but my god I can‘t stand all the diddling and the vocals are seriously annoying. HOW LONG tudududu
13th - Steven Snype - 4.8 points
Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA
I guess it‘s an ok song but I would never listen again if I could help it. Not that I can.
14th - RODAN - 4.7 points
Alexisonfire - Young Cardinals
Is it „Alexis“ or „Alex is“? I may never know the answer. Not that I would really want to, since their music seems to be utterly forgettable. They seem to think to be playing some really reckless and furious music but the amount of danger in this song is comparable to a eunuch‘s underwear.
15th - NotNova - 4.6 points
Paraf - Nikad, Nikad, Nikad
The vocals are pretty cool but as a whole the song just doesn‘t go anywhere and ends up being boring.
16th - MyNameIsNothing - 4.5 points
Of Montreal - A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger
Those vocals are seriously hurting my ears. They just ruin the whole thing for me. I don‘t want to sound sexist or anything but damn, get a woman if you want to do this vocal style in your band.
17th - HeaLnDeaL - 3.9 points
Chiodos - The Undertaker's Thirst For Revenge Is Unquenchable
A whole lot of meh. Except the harsh vocals, those are horrendous.
18th - eren - 3.5 points
Orbweaver - Crystal Prisms
Karel Čapek wrote a bunch of stories about a dog and a cat and the most famous of the stories is one where they make a cake. They want to make it tasty so they put every tasty thing they can think of in there. In the end the cake is obviously a disgusting mess. That‘s basically this song. There‘s so much going on here and it doesn‘t work together at all, resulting in nothing more than bloated mess.
19th - Lectrys - 2.8 points
F-777 - Ludicrous Speed
I promise I‘ll never even think about doing cocaine. Electronic music is very hit or miss with me and this is definitely a miss. Shot the puck right over the glass.
 

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