Board Games: The Movie

[v]

So Battleship is getting a movie, so I thought to myself, "what if other board games got a movie?" I doubt this is such an original thought, but who cares, so I made up the idea of CHESS: THE MOVIE

In a world of grids, letters, and numbers, Pauly Pawn (portrayed by Tobey MacGuire) wants nothing more than to reveal who he truly is to the world. In the smash-hit of the summer, Pauly finds himself hunted by the Black mafia, pursued by Knights and Rooks through the vastness of the city, finding consolation in his friendly White bishop. Tragically, just as Pauly finds the inner strength to come out, the Black Queen -- portrayed by Queen Latifa -- brutally murders his Bishop friend (Christopher Lee). Revealed as a Queen before the entirety of Chess City, Pauly uses his newfound Gay Pride to smash through the nefarious Blacks and free the city from their insidious hold. He only stops to check his mate -- male, of course!

There are many board games, so post your own summaries of stupid board game concept movies.

 

[asim]

how about a movie based on clue

tim curry would be the butler and doc brown from back to the future would be professor plum.

that would be awesome.

 

[vonFiedler]

They should make a movie about Potato.

 

[breh]

quick somebody link to that really cool fanmade tetris movie trailer

that was an awesome trailer

 

[LonelyNess]

They should make a movie about Potato.

that'd be hot.

 

[THE_IRON_...KENYAN?]

Snakes and Ladders is a gripping documentary about the exploitation of immigrant workers in the roofing industry

 

[Layell]

YOU GOT THE I BLOCK!

I also request the Where's Waldo trailer, the good one. Can't seem to find it.

 

[az]

Snakes and Ladders is a gripping documentary about the exploitation of immigrant workers in the roofing industry

or a side-splittingly hilarious romcom guaranteed to blockbustify this summer about bond traders in the 80s stepping over their fellows to get ahead, also featuring this year's favourite piece of meat as a woman desperate to break the glass ceiling in a male dominated environment

 

[penguin344]

A movie that tells the story of 4 young businessmen who are trying to take over all of the country's business, amassing extreme wealth and eliminating their competition. During this, they have to deal with taxes, loss, jail time, and bank mistakes in their favor.

This is Monopoly.

 

[Umbreon Dan]

minesweeper, the movie

 

[Buffalo_Wings]

hungry hungry hippos

 

[Zacchaeus]

Operation the movie. Warning: The MPAA rated this movie Restricted for: Surgery and stuff like that

This is my favorite scene where they go for the heart

 

[ButteredToast]

In the previously untold World War II story, an American Special Operations Unit must go under cover to crack a highly sophisticated Japanese code system in order to uncover the attack plans against the United States. The team, led by Captain Rick Manfold (Craig Ferguson), must infiltrateJapanese emperor Hirohito's (Jackie Chan) personal headquarters and steal the code grid. After stealing the grid, Captain Manfold and the rest of his team (played by actors such as Carrot Top, The Rock, Chris Rock, Don Knotts, Kel from Kenon and Kel, and John Wayne) must get over racial tensions, conflicting personalities, and an conflicts with a Japanese woman whom all the members seem to have an interest with (played by Yoko Ono) and crack the code to save the world. Can they figure out the how to play, solve the puzzle and stop the threat before it's too late?

Find out in:

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SUDOKU: THE MOVIE

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[mattj]

you're fired

 

[Temperantia]

In this twisted fantasy story, four children are locked in a deadly world far different than their own.
Past horrible monsters and cannibals and through forests and swamps they run, getting trapped or lost all in the search of a fabled castle that is their only way to return home.

This is...

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In other news,

In the Hawaiian Islands, an international naval fleet at Pearl Harbor engage in a very dynamic and intense battle against an alien race known as "The Regents". The aliens come to planet Earth, on a mission to build a power source in the ocean. Upon their visit, they come in contact with the navy fleet

The fuck?

The film is also purported to show both sides of the story, from the aliens' perspective, as well as the humans' so the audience knows exactly where the opponent's ships are.

Ha ha ha, why is this so funny?

 

[Johann]

Set in America during the revolution, this gruesome battle has been forgotten throughout generations.....until now. The Americans and the British square off in a field in rural Virginia as the two sides plan the attack. American general George Washington devises an ingenious formation to send his men in while the British devise a setup centered around surprise bombs designed to take out the American's best fighters. As the battle plays out both sides realize that they will have to take risks and make sacrifices as they advance, trying to capture the base of the other. Who was the victor in this forgotten battle of the revolution?

Find out in:

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(p.s. asim, there is a clue movie already. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clue_%28film%29)

 

[asim]

(p.s. johann, read my post and then your link)

 

[Oglemi]

In this twisted fantasy story, four children are locked in a deadly world far different than their own.
Past horrible monsters and cannibals and through forests and swamps they run, getting trapped or lost all in the search of a fabled castle that is their only way to return home.

This is...

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This is of course directed by Tim Burton and stars Johnny Depp in the lead role

 

[Mountain Dewgong]

ABOUT A CRAZY BOARD GAME THAT SUMMONS THE WILD AND YOU HAVE TO FINISH THE GAME

 

[Cooper]

ABOUT A CRAZY BOARD GAME THAT SUMMONS SPACE AND YOU HAVE TO FINISH THE GAME

 

[Layell]

Magic Missile!

 

[Temperantia]

This is of course directed by Tim Burton and stars Johnny Depp in the lead role

Of course, this is the only the option.

Or have Stephen Lynch as director, just to fuck with people.

 

[Zenotwapal]

Connect Four
A gripping tale about 4 single mothers trying to reconnect with their former selves.

 

[KnightoftheWind]

A very strange murder case. Very little clues, dozens of possible suspects. All that the team of detectives has is a mysterious informant who knows who the killer is, but is just toying with the police, only answering specific questions, while he gets some answers of his own for his own unknown purposes.

This is Guess Who.

 

[Lady Salamence]

A game where four normal humans are whisked away to an alternate dimension, with the entire world in front of them, and mindless soldiers willing to go to their death at your bidding. You attempt to take over the world, one country at a time. Once you take over the last area your enemy holds, they are removed, going to an unknown place, reserved for the losers. Once you take over the world, you are considered the winner of

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