Can I have advice on helping others with depression

[Ironstrongma]

One of my friends was heavily affected by depression a few months ago. She was so unhappy and dissatisfied with her life that she was contemplating taking her own life. Fortunately she opened up about her struggle to myself and a counsellor. Mainly due to the counsellor she was mostly able to overcome her depression. Although she has not completely overcome her depression frequent open discussions have helped her become much happier and more content with her life. However she still simetimes gets overcome with sadness. Can someone give me advice on how to properly help her so she can completely overcome her depression.

 

[Myzozoa]

From the way you talk it sounds like your friend found counseling helpful because it facilitated her expression of her emotions. On that note, one thing that will be helpful is to prioritize the expression of emotions over making evaluative judgements about the emotions one is having or has been having.

When you talk about overcoming depression, what does that mean (for your friend)? You also mention your friend being overcome with sadness (the charlatan in me wonders if there is any significance that you used the same word to describe two different state changes within your friend), what do you mean by that? Is she a danger to self or others during these states? What is her affect, mood, presentation, etc? How long is she 'overcome' for?

It is okay to be sad. It isn't your place to help anyone else 'overcome' their depression unless youre (working with, as a counselor does) a therapist . By practicing honest communication, compassion, and gratitude you will teach your friend that you are available for help when she seeks it. Expect your friend to act in ways that are isolating, (forgive them) and be available for them as much as you can. As always, this is what the therapist at my work distributes, and from first two pages I have used every single one at various points in my own life http://www.suzannewelstead.com/resources/SafeCopingSkills.pdf. It may help to read this list many times. there are many more coping skills than those listed. from my experience i could rec an anti-depressant diet (no alcohol, lots of fruit, fish, chocolate, coffee, nuts, herbs and spicy foods) and exercise, if you want a formula for a safe medical evidence based plan that addresses common neurological indicators well.

in general im reluctant to reply to these threads as i come up with too many questions in the process rather than answers.

 

[AM]

Speaking from experience (as in being actually diagnosed with depression) just keep doing what you're doing. Keep her company, get her into a hobby of sorts (as you can tell mine is Pokemon, working, and terrible movies!), encourage her to set positive goals for herself, things like that. It seems like a stereotypical answer but I feel like as the years has gone by it's the right one. For what it's worth if it means anything I don't thinking seeking a long term therapist is the right way to go about coping with depression. I think it establishes that you are depressed and it keeps on bringing the subject up again without any progress in my eyes at least. Seeing a therapist short term or to understand some coping techniques is perfectly fine but from there if you're dealing with depression I think you need to move on from that and try to find your own support group once you accept it and understand the issues a bit more.

I use support group as a general reference. It can be a friend, it can be an actual support group, whatever keeps you going.

Although she has not completely overcome her depression frequent open discussions have helped her become much happier and more content with her life. However she still simetimes gets overcome with sadness.

I don't think you understand how important this point is in helping someone out who is depressed. Open discussions are a huge help more than you would think. There's not much you can do about those times she's overcome with sadness simply because it's actually hard to control what you're thinking. Like when you're just doing an activity and you have those random thoughts, stuff like that is what will trigger those moments of sadness. If she's content with where she is at that point of time and in life she'll have less negative thoughts naturally. It's a long term process that she also has to be open about acknowledging and making an effort to work on it.

Echoing Myzozoas statement above, a good diet will help as well. Dark chocolate is the chocolate that is being referred to btw not the processed sugary ones. I think eating better without being overly strict on yourself is somewhat of a given that you'll feel better as well.

 

[Morsel]

One of my friends was heavily affected by depression a few months ago. She was so unhappy and dissatisfied with her life that she was contemplating taking her own life. Fortunately she opened up about her struggle to myself and a counsellor. Mainly due to the counsellor she was mostly able to overcome her depression. Although she has not completely overcome her depression frequent open discussions have helped her become much happier and more content with her life. However she still sometimes gets overcome with sadness. Can someone give me advice on how to properly help her so she can completely overcome her depression.

Hey there. First off I'm happy to here that things have gotten better for your friend, and I've been in your situation before. Right now, I would focus on preventing your friend from falling back to her previous state, which can especially occur during times of high stress (school, death of a loved one, etc.). Look out for subtle sings, which reveal that she is worse off then she let you believe, such as social withdrawal (not responding to calls/texts, not being able to hang out, and in general being distant in terms of communication).

You'll never be able to completely prevent periods in which your friend is sadder than normal. However, what has worked for myself is exercise. Invite her to go to the gym (or any other physically engaging activity, i.e. biking) a few times a week, and make some sort of regular workout schedule with her. Not only will it improve her self confidence, but it will add some sort of schedule and normality in her life, which will in turn help her feel like she's in control of her life. In addition, as mentioned, encourage her to eat well. This will improve her energy levels, self-confidence and the lack of 'bad' suger and fat in her diet will reduce her mood swings (and feelings of sadness). That way she will feel more consistent day by day. Lastly, I know this was already mentioned, continue to be communicative with your friend, and always keep in mind that depresion isn't something you completely overcome; rather, it is an omnipresent condition that can be supressed and seemingly eliminated (but it still remains dormant and appears in high-stress periods).