dealbreakers

[Ivysaur]

okay, smogon. I want you to picture your ideal partner. Now, we all have different tastes, so I'll just say picture the sort of person you could see yourself having endless sex.. er, conversation with. The sort of person whos shoulder you could cry on, to share all your deepest feeling and memories and all that jazz with. The sort of person you could see yourself eventually walking down the aisle with, creating your little horrible offspring with, and retiring and living the rest of your lives with.

now, I want you to think of all the terrible little traits and quirks that would just completely ruin them for you. yep, dealbreakers. the things that would ruin an otherwise perfect partner. I'll start:

• being shorter than me - now I'm only 5 foot 3, so this probably doesn't happen too often unless they're a midget. nonetheless it makes me feel mega awkward
  
  
• weighing less than me - I'm also pretty thin, so unless they're manorexic or a 7 year old boy, I really doubt this is gonna happen
  
  
• not being over their ex - like honestly this is probably the most annoying trait. luckily I've never dated anyone like this, but i've seen friends date people who were so painfully obviously attached to their ex, oh god it was so annoying not to point it out.
  
  
• cheaters - self explanatory
  
  
• people who are WAY taller than me - also mega awkward, like they have to lean over like a hunchback to kiss goodbye and stuff ugh its weird
  
  
• ridiculously dumb people - at least when you're a girl you can play it off as being like "ditzy" or whatever (which is incredibly annoying) but when you're a guy its just plain unattractive to me when you're stupid
  
  
• they don't dress well - I'm not really the type to try and "change" a boyfriend too much but if he dresses like a complete idiot and has no style this is something that HAS to change. otherwise he's gone.
  
  
• doesn't meet my standards (aka ugly) - self explanatory. I feel girls tend to do more "settling" when it comes to partners (as in a hot chick in more likely to date a less-than-attractive guy than vice versa) but come on, if I can't even look at them seriously without either laughing or having my eyes burst into flames its a dealbreaker
  
  
• being ridiculously muscular - I guess I kinda contradict myself with this list, or I just have high standards. Either way, they can't be too thin, because who wants to fuck a skeleton, but they also can't basically be a gorilla. If it looks like you're on roids its not gonna happen
  
  
• they have a really small dick - self explanatory (i'm sorry but this is gonna be a problem long term??) god I sound like a bitch
  
  
• they fake bake - aka spray on tan, man-tanning etc. - basically you can't look like a guido. or an oompa loompa. same difference. Its so bad when guys do this ugh
  
  
• really long hair - some guys can rock longer hair, but I'm talking long by guy standards. around chin length is where most guys should draw the line.
  
  
• poor hygiene - take a shower you smelly hippie
  
  
• they look too much like me - okay so my brother is dating a girl who looks like the female version of him. Like if in some freaky, twilight-zone universe, everybody had a opposite gender counterpart, but she somehow came to our universe and they started dating. oh my god it freaks me out so much ughhhh
  
  
• they're a trap - also self explanatory
  

Okay so I could probably go on for a lot longer but if I do this thread may as well be named the "why ivysaur is single" thread, so yeah

go ahead

 

[alamaster]

they play pokemon

 

[Xav]

they play pokemon

At least then I would have something to talk about. I am so awkward around girls it doesn't even matter.

 

[macle]

bush

 

[Chill Murray]

My list would have been a lot longer and more specific a year ago. Basically I think it comes down to whoever I can feel comfortable around.

Sure, there are some traits I find more attractive than others, but I think the only "dealbreaker" I'd have is whether or not the person has respect for me and shows it.

 

[FlareBlitz]

Quoting the ones I agree with.

• cheaters
• ridiculously dumb people
• doesn't meet my standards (aka ugly)
• they fake bake
• poor hygiene
• they're a trap

To add on to that list, in no particular order:

• Have really short hair. Women should not have anything below ear-length hair. I actually did break this rule once for a girl but that's because she pulled it off pretty well, which maybe 0.1% of them can do.
• Smoking. I don't think smokers are bad people, but evidently they make poor life choices and stink and are terrible to kiss, which are not qualities I appreciate in a prospective mate.
• Excessive drinking. Goes back to the life choices thing. Also, alcohol makes the vag area stink to high fucking heaven, which ruins one of my favorite part of foreplay.
• Being fat and being unwilling to change it. Not really covered under being ugly because I have met a lot of cute girls who are fat and could be extremely attractive if they lost some weight. Also, I wouldn't mind dating a cute fat girl I see at the gym every day. The "unwilling to change" part is what really kills it for me.
• Being a cunt. It does not impress me when you're rude to the waiters or when you gossip about your "friends". It just draws attention to what a shitty person you are.
• Unwilling to do even semi-interesting things in bed. I don't mean "let's not do reverse wheelbarrow anal during our first night", I mean "nah I don't think I'm going to blow you".
• Lacking a sense of humour. I don't expect everyone to share my appreciation for dark humour, but being easily offended is a pretty fundamental incompatibility.
• Playing "hard to get". We are adults. Stop fucking around if you're interested or I am moving on to someone who appreciates my attention.

I like having high standards, and I think they're the reason I have never really had a bad relationship, just ones that ended due to circumstance or someone changing.

 

[EricaHartmann]

Wow, there is an extremely similar topic on another forum I frequent that was posted today as well.

- Someone that's too stubborn to admit they're wrong if they are wrong

 

[Disposable Puppets]

I have to agree with FlareBlitz on the smoking and excessive drinking points. I don't think I'd be able to put up with that.

I'd also like to add not being too controlling

 

[reyscarface]

These have been said and I agree with them:

Cheating, being taller than me, poor hygiene, ugly, fat as fuck, being a total cunt, lacking sense of humor, and doesnt know how to dress.

I add

* Being a midget. The odds of me dating someone whom I have to be on my knees to reach her are tinier than the odds of Eo getting laid before his 25s.

* Jealous as FUCK. I understand being jealous, I get jealous too. But being jealous because I talk to another girl, lol nope.

* Dumb. If you dont know how to do simple additions im not going to be with you. If you dont know where Italy is I also wont be with you.

* Isnt open. Hey, we men (at least myself) also like to hear an "I love you" from time to time, you know?

* Boring. Self-explanatory, I think.

* Doesnt like sex / kisses (this includes sucking massive cock at kissing) / all that shit. Yeah same as above.

* Cant consider her a friend. SARCASM I really want to be with someone that lies all the time and doesnt give a fuck about me! SARCASM

* Doesnt give me space. I have male friends too :(, cant be with you all the time!!


But again this is for a long term relationship lol, id probably do it with any hot girl. Except if she smells like shit.

edit: ahahah

 

[Vineon]

* Doesnt like sex / kisses (this includes sucking massive cock

Please, no flaunting.

 

[Deck Knight]

being taller than me - now I'm only 5 foot 3, so this probably doesn't happen too often unless they're a midget. nonetheless it makes me feel mega awkward

people who are WAY taller than me - also mega awkward, like they have to lean over like a hunchback to kiss goodbye and stuff ugh its weird

I dunno Ivysaur you said guys couldn't be taller than you twice so I dunno if you'd meet the intelligence requirement.

they have a really small dick - self explanatory (i'm sorry but this is gonna be a problem long term??) god I sound like a bitch

Just so you know, pornography does not provide a reasonable expectation of the average male. I would be fascinated to learn how you plan to check this, though.

For me it's drinking/smoking/cheating/super-short hair/godawful attitude/statutorily illegal as well.

I'd also add in a little too much "previous experience." I really don't want to sleep with everyone you've ever slept with when it's a literal everyone.

 

[MrIndigo]

Quoting the ones I agree with.

To add on to that list, in no particular order:

• Have really short hair. Women should not have anything below ear-length hair. I actually did break this rule once for a girl but that's because she pulled it off pretty well, which maybe 0.1% of them can do.

• 
  
  I actually know a lot of girls who rock short hair well.
  
  

  [*]Playing "hard to get". We are adults. Stop fucking around if you're interested or I am moving on to someone who appreciates my attention.

Playing hard to get is the worst thing in the entire world. Even worse than that.

 

[FlareBlitz]

I actually know a lot of girls who rock short hair well.

I just really love long hair on a woman, so I have a hard time being attracted to women with very short hair. It's like a woman without boobs or hips as far as I'm concerned.

Playing hard to get is the worst thing in the entire world. Even worse than that.

This one girl I met never returned my calls or accepted invitations to social gatherings, and then had the audacity to get upset when I ended up sleeping with one of her roommates. "I thought you liked me!" Well, I fucking did before you ignored me for two weeks.....

 

[His Eminence Lord Poppington II]

yeah long hair is great, intelligence is a huge factor as well. smoking is a massive turn-off

 

[reyscarface]

do you guys mean any kind of smoking? because for some reason i dont care if a girl smokes weed and shit like that but if its cigarettes i strongly agree with you

 

[Improbability]

Playing hard to get is the worst thing in the entire world. Even worse than that.

This one girl I met never returned my calls or accepted invitations to social gatherings, and then had the audacity to get upset when I ended up sleeping with one of her roommates. "I thought you liked me!" Well, I fucking did before you ignored me for two weeks.....

This. Not the sex part, but chicks who think they can have every guy wrapped around their goddamn finger. And mixed signals. I understand that can be partly the other person's fault, but the example you gave sums it up perfectly. If you're gonna be flirtatious and then act like you don't want to know me the next day, you can get lost before you waste anymore of my time.

 

[Fatecrashers]

man hands

 

[Matthew]

I dunno Ivysaur you said guys couldn't be taller than you twice so I dunno if you'd meet the intelligence requirement.



Just so you know, pornography does not provide a reasonable expectation of the average male. I would be fascinated to learn how you plan to check this, though.

For me it's drinking/smoking/cheating/super-short hair/godawful attitude/statutorily illegal as well.

I'd also add in a little too much "previous experience." I really don't want to sleep with everyone you've ever slept with when it's a literal everyone.

I at least am 4/6 on your list

when can we go on our date

 

[Trax]

man hands

This a million times.


Also, smoking is possibly the fastest way to turn a 10 into a 3..

 

[Alan]

[*] they have a really small dick - self explanatory (i'm sorry but this is gonna be a problem long term??) god I sound like a bitch

Aren't you like 14?



[*] Black girls

 

[Curtains]

skinny white girl

 

[DM]

My list would be pretty short, at my age you learn to accept people for who they are. But:

Smoking: I hate kissing someone whose mouth tastes like cigarettes, complete turnoff
Being taller than me: sorry, I don't know if it's some caveman instinct of mine, but I have an innate need to feel as if I am the woman's protector. Can't feel that if she's bigger than me
Doesn't like food/has any kind of eating problem: learned this one the hard way
Acts snobbish: I know plenty of women who have a sense of entitlement, or are just downright bitchy. No thanks, have fun marrying some weak asshole

they have a really small dick - self explanatory (i'm sorry but this is gonna be a problem long term??)

just fyi, over time the vagina's "tightness" changes to accommodate a penis that enters it often

- Someone that's too stubborn to admit they're wrong if they are wrong

ah shit

 

[Lanturn314]

Well i know all of these have been said before, but:

-Smoking-- I don't want to feel like i'm licking an ashtray every time i kiss you, ok?

-being shorter than me-- Preferably, any guy I date would be at least my height when I'm wearing heels.

-being a dumbass-- self-explanatory.

-really long hair-- idk, i just don't like long hair on guys. so sue me

-facial hair-- i've never really been a fan. i realize it looks good on some guys, but i just don't find beards or moustaches attractive... i know, it's kinda weird

-excessive body hair-- it's okay to have some body hair, but i find guys who have gorilla levels of chest hair to be repulsive. Also, if the body hair is oddly placed, it's bad (back hair is a no-no)

-poor hygeine-- i'm sorry, but you have to bathe regularly if you want to be my boyfriend

-being a douche in general-- it's a common misconception that girls "don't like nice guys." I, for one, prefer to be in a relationship with a guy who isn't afraid of sharing his feelings with me and who respects my opinions even if he disagrees with them. And if he makes any misogynistic comments that are in any way serious, he's out the door.

-being too clingy-- now, don't get me wrong, i love having a guy who's there for me and supports me and stuff, and likewise i like to be supportive of my boyfriend. it becomes a problem if he makes it impossible for me to have a life outside of the relationship, though. No, i do not have time to talk every waking moment of my life. i have stuff i need to get done, and i like to hang out with my female friends every once n awhile, and i hate it when a guy tries to make me feel guilty for doing that even when i've spent the past week just with him. i need at least some space asjdfhaslkjfh

-not being geeky enough-- i'm a dork. i like things like science and pokemon and stuff like that. a guy doesn't have to like those same things, but he should certainly be respectful of my hobbies, and have a few nerdy hobbies of his own just to keep things interesting.

 

[Myzozoa]

1. being too much of a cunt- dating stressed out angry women is a great step in becoming an angry stressed out person. im not saying she has to be hippie-esque in her attitude, but seriously 'valium' should never pop into my head when being around you

2. get an opinion- how the fuck am i supposed to carry out a relationship with someone who won't make themselves an equal? how am i supposed to respect someone who doesnt have respect themselves enough to defend their own beliefs, or else doesn't have any to speak of? anytime i disagree with a chick and she immediately folds to my way of thinking its a huge turn-off. I guess part of this is they have to be self-aware and able to think critically, am i asking too much?

3. head- seriously, im going to go down on you and thats all good, I really don't mind. If you're not going to reciprocate (literally) you better be making up for it in some other way...

4. food- women should eat too. If you dont like favor, i.e you are from the east coast and therefore afraid of thai and mexican food, gtfo. I have gone out with a couple of east coast chicks who were just lame on this front. (also im not saying all people from the east coast are like this, im just saying that they need to work on this out there)

5. hair- i like long hair cause its hot, but short hair is fine, are you really going to turn down a girl just cause her hair is shorter than you prefer, once you're in a mild relationship you can casually let it slip how much you would like to see her grow her hair out.

6. Smoking- obviously not preferable, but everyone has at least one terrible habit they want to fix, smoking is just less discreet. I almost suspect that many in this thread who are saying how much they are turned off by smoking have never actually kissed a smoker, maybe never even gone out with a smoker.

 

[VKCA]

Am I the only one who really doesn't give a shit about smoking? Like, I'd be concerned for the persons health and would like them to stop so they don't get cancer and die and stuff, but I really don't give a shit about them being addicted / smelling/tasting like smoke. Maybe it's because I'm a kid and most of the people who I know who smoke smoke apathetically and only at parties. But they're always nice! Maybe on some level I find smoking sexy?