Lifestyle The Mental Wellness Thread

cityscapes

Take care of yourself.
is a Tiering Contributoris a Community Contributor Alumnus
2nd post with this new dumb name let's get it (not good at posting btw so this is gonna be bad sorry ig)

so unlike some of the other people in this thread, i was lucky enough to have a good family/living situation. but that didn't stop me!!!

if you're wondering i think the main flaw i have with this stuff is comparing myself to other people. this is really dumb. don't do it. i was kind of led into it from a young age ("oh you're so smart and have potential!" ruined my life. good job) and even when i know it's wrong i find myself doing it subconsciously.

i'm not sure if i'm actually depressed but my irl life is pretty bad at the moment. every day i feel so drained after and even during school. even when i make an effort to stay hydrated and stuff i just don't have the energy to do anything after school other than waste time on discord. sometimes this extends further into the afternoon and i end up not getting any homework done.

for some assignments, my brain literally just decides not to do it. it doesn't even try. it's like there's this block in front of it. "nope, not doing that." it's been doing this since middle school. i really hate it but what can i even do to get it out of the way?

now onto the other problem i got

i'm way too concerned about this stupid game and what people here think of me. sometimes i'm reliant on random people on the internet to cheer me up when i'm having a bad day and those situations don't always go like i want to because so many people are just so fake and won't help even if they're a "good chat presence" or something. and i don't blame them either. who would want to listen to this guy complain 24/7 about the latest dumb set on the ladder or really hard homework assignment or people thinking he's not good?

i don't have a way of seeking validation irl except in school, and you can kinda see how good that is for that when you look at what i've been doing in the above paragraph. every time i graduate from one school, all my friends go to a different one than me. this bad high school is even worse because it's so big. i know like 5 people in it and none of them are in any of my classes so basically i don't really know anyone

and this game isn't very fulfilling either! a few days ago i had this day where i was undefeated on ladder after 15 games. i felt nothing at all. this culture we have surrounding tournaments is really stupid because even though tournaments for the meta i play aren't official, they're still surrounded with so much prestige that winning these games felt expected of me. and when i lose, it's even worse. i keep telling myself this can't happen in an important game, i need to find out what went wrong, how could i have lost to such a bad set?

even though i spend most of my time on the internet, everything feels really dull. random youtube videos hold no meaning other than maybe to make me laugh. mons videos make me think i'm getting better at the game. i must have read every message on smogon by now. discord is just the same old messages by the same old people day after day after day. the only variety is tournaments because those feel like the only thing that actually matters here anymore

i try to do way too many things on this site too. i've tried playing pretty much every tier (in suspect tests where i make 1 alt then give up), i have my own trade thread, and i'm trying to take like 3 tiers + battle tree seriously all at once. the result is that i'm not really good at any of them except for balanced hackmons (and even then you never know)

yeah i could quit, but what would i have left? i'm not actually good at anything else and from what i've heard this is one of the best communities online. but is it really worth staying here when there are idiots who are actually turning the problems i have into a meme? my life is a meme already (don't ask about the details but yeah that happened. it sucked)

yeah i could get some kinda help but i'm honestly scared of what it could entail. what will my family think? will it make me fall behind even more on my assignments? is it really ok to tell people irl about this stuff?

i know a bunch of people are gonna read this stupid post and laugh. if you always post entitled stuff, people aren't really gonna take you seriously. but i thought it would be ok to post something like this here judging by other people's stories.

it's midnight and i just wanted to get this out of the way. sorry for not organizing this better but i tried
 

lighthouses

Inordinary
is a Tiering Contributor
Im at a point where it honestly feels like what i do wont matter.
I can be as proactive as i want, take the first step to seek therapy, try to go out, find occupations, see people.
But it doesnt matter, i always get sent right back into my bed, struggling to do the most basic of tasks and pushing everyone i care about away.
I always considered myself good at dealing with this, one step at a time id always get back on my feet, but this time it feels different.
Im at a hole where i feel like whatever i do is meaningless, any effort i put out will amount to nothing because the universe will just put me right back in my place, which is my bed, wishing i didnt exist.
It honestly never felt so lonely before.
Ill keep going though, what else is there to do.
 

pazza

Banned deucer.
Just wanted to say 2 things
1. Im bad at replying to depression posts but I really wanna help my friends out
2. Your a bh that I look up to because you use such cool stuff and still win battles.When ever I see one of your battles im so shocked of what you brought.You don't use the same bullshit you use more creative sets. :]

i'm not sure if i'm actually depressed but my irl life is pretty bad at the moment. every day i feel so drained after and even during school. even when i make an effort to stay hydrated and stuff i just don't have the energy to do anything after school other than waste time on discord. sometimes this extends further into the afternoon and i end up not getting any homework done.
Try taking a 30 minute nap after school and try drinking some coffee before school

i don't have a way of seeking validation irl except in school, and you can kinda see how good that is for that when you look at what i've been doing in the above paragraph. every time i graduate from one school, all my friends go to a different one than me. this bad high school is even worse because it's so big. i know like 5 people in it and none of them are in any of my classes so basically i don't really know anyone
Try talk to more people in your school and join a club or sport and talk to the people in the sport or club and make friends with them. You don't know people in till you know what they like.

and this game isn't very fulfilling either! a few days ago i had this day where i was undefeated on ladder after 15 games. i felt nothing at all. this culture we have surrounding tournaments is really stupid because even though tournaments for the meta i play aren't official, they're still surrounded with so much prestige that winning these games felt expected of me. and when i lose, it's even worse. i keep telling myself this can't happen in an important game, i need to find out what went wrong, how could i have lost to such a bad set?
Everyone can lose to a bad set here and there.By hax or you just didn't know they where using a different set then the usual set.
Even if you lose a tournament there always more coming up soon!

even though i spend most of my time on the internet, everything feels really dull. random youtube videos hold no meaning other than maybe to make me laugh. mons videos make me think i'm getting better at the game. i must have read every message on smogon by now. discord is just the same old messages by the same old people day after day after day. the only variety is tournaments because those feel like the only thing that actually matters here anymore
Maybe join a group at a your school or even a sport, meet different people. Then your life should be a lot less dull and more fun. Hell you can even pick computer class and get better with computers.

yeah i could quit, but what would i have left? i'm not actually good at anything else and from what i've heard this is one of the best communities online. but is it really worth staying here when there are idiots who are actually turning the problems i have into a meme? my life is a meme already (don't ask about the details but yeah that happened. it sucked)
Please don't quit your one of the most funniest and creative person I know (and also a nice person)
Try to remove the people that make your problems into memes from your ps/discord/smogon account

yeah i could get some kinda help but i'm honestly scared of what it could entail. what will my family think? will it make me fall behind even more on my assignments? is it really ok to tell people irl about this stuff?
Yes I would tell my parents and if you start falling back on homework you can always ask your mom or dad to help you do it.

i know a bunch of people are gonna read this stupid post and laugh. if you always post entitled stuff, people aren't really gonna take you seriously. but i thought it would be ok to post something like this here judging by other people's stories.
If people look at depression stories and laugh then they aren't right people. Even if there you so called friends and they laugh at this post, are they really your friends?Or do they not like the true you.

it's midnight and i just wanted to get this out of the way. sorry for not organizing this better but i tried
good night (even tho im replying to this in the morning)
 
yo, its been a little over a year and i wanna talk about what has happened since and also mention some things i learned along the way.

since the time of the post, the following has happened:

i ended my 3rd semester (first sem of sophomore yr) on a fine note. got a couple A's and one D which i was content w considering i literally skipped school for like a month and then some. i never went to that therapy session cus im wack. i actually tried talking to my profs at the time but pussied out. i talked to my gf and she was extremely understanding and supportive. same with my friends. never started working w the nonprofit since things went wrong on their end (i didnt bail on it tho)

so 2nd semester of sophomore i started out pretty great. i was doing hw on like saturdays that were due like the following thursday and stuff and was just motivated / in control of mostly everything. then on february 17 (yea i remember the exact day) something went wrong and since then i started the cycle of skipping class and not doing hw etc etc. it got bad to the point where i failed 3 classes which was a huuuuuge wake up call and i had to retake em in the summer and so i did and got a's and b's. thinking that i did fine in the summer session and it would carry into the fall, i STILL did not go to a therapy session.

now its fall 2017 and i start out ok. i miss class on some bad days, some late hw's in the beginning etc etc. im doing a lot better than i was in the spring but not as good as i want to. still an improvement tho. anyway, the week after thanksgiving was just extremely bad. i have no idea what happened but sunday night i went to sleep with severe suicidal thoughts which carried into the morning. and in the morning i had a ridiculous anxiety attack which lasted for like 2 hrs. this continued on tuesday, wednesday, and thursday. finally thursday night i talked to a professor and some friends who advised and even pleaded for me to seek help. so out of desperation i made an appointment for friday morning and finally went. it lasted for like an hour and i learned new things about myself and felt as though there is hope for change, that i will get better. this happened on december 1st and since then theres been a significant decrease in negative feelings and such. i felt mostly energetic throughout the days, was able to remain motivated to do various things and stuff. every day wasnt great, i did have some bad days, and some even harder days which is to be expected since obviously i wont magically get better after one meeting but man it feels fucking amazing to not feel like shit all the time.

i still have some slightly strained relations w friends, family, and i dont see my gf often enough (shes overly understanding tho) so im working on that. honestly, im just sort of embarrassed bc of this. i know i shouldnt be but that embarrassment grew into some social anxiety and ive been afraid to face my friends about it even tho i know they wont really judge me for not being at my best. its something i will work on in the coming months

i know im not saying anything new but the biggest piece of advice i can give someone is to talk to people. working out of a hole like this is difficult and takes time but its a lot easier when not doing it alone. it took me 1 yr to go to a damn counseling session and im glad i did. but even before, that i was constantly talking w friends, even on smogon. special shoutout to nikka #1 teal6 who was the 1 dude that convinced me to go lmfao. ok it was more out of desperation but hes a good guy (pm him or starmaster on discord for spl tryouts)

and lastly, if anyone is having a hard time and cant find someone to talk to please dont hesitate to either pm me on here or discord (obii#3532)

thanks for reading and good luck to anyone else on the path of healing

Hey hey hey, kind of a rushed update (on phone and its late so sorry if my wording is off or w.e). I've still been doing the therapy / counseling sessions w.e and it's honestly helping a lot. We've gotten down to basically the root of my issues which goes back to like home environment and the way I've internalized certain things and how I externally react to stuff.

Anyway I can go on forever about this but the biggest thing is for the past week or so I've had pretty much 0 anxiety attacks!!! This is actually pretty surprising and new since I'd usually get an attack at least once a day but things that usually trigger it are not triggering it.

Man, I'm honestly really happy and hope things remain this way. It's so much easier to function and get through the day without anxiety.

3 months since I've started therapy and I've gotten rid of severe suicidal thoughts and anxiety (hopefully!!!!!). Now the next thing to work on is discipline and general motivation. I got a plan for that too. Might update this post w specific details sometime later this week. I just wanted to post this because I'm really happy with my progress and wanted to let others know that it is possible to get through these things

Big shoutouts to my man FlamingVictini , I actually learn a lot about myself whenever we talk and come out of it smarter. Love u bro

Ps: as always my discord pms are open if anyone needs to talk / vent / wants advice on anything at all. It's better to talk to someone, anone than to keep your feelings bottled up.

Good luck to anyone else struggling with mental health issues. Don't give up. Damn there's actually a lot I want to say now regarding dealing w suicidal thoughts and anxiety attacks so ig I'll make a post w how i dealt w em sometime this weekend. But seriously don't give up. U guys rock
 
Im at a point where it honestly feels like what i do wont matter.
I can be as proactive as i want, take the first step to seek therapy, try to go out, find occupations, see people.
But it doesnt matter, i always get sent right back into my bed, struggling to do the most basic of tasks and pushing everyone i care about away.
I always considered myself good at dealing with this, one step at a time id always get back on my feet, but this time it feels different.
Im at a hole where i feel like whatever i do is meaningless, any effort i put out will amount to nothing because the universe will just put me right back in my place, which is my bed, wishing i didnt exist.
It honestly never felt so lonely before.
Ill keep going though, what else is there to do.
it's an annoying answer but it's the right one: seek professional help. i know that you mentioned you've tried and failed, so i'll spout off my recent mental health story and hopefully it'll help set you on the right track. there's no cure-all for any mental health issue; most are tied directly to neurological issues so your best bet is often medication. obviously different methods work for different people, but the best starting point is talking to a trained professional who can give you an objective view of your situation and diagnose you.

i struggled to get professional help too. i've been aware of some level of mental health issues within myself since my early teens, and i didn't get help until a few months ago at 25. what got me there was knowing that i didn't have any other options and the help of my closest friends. the thought of actually making a call to an office was incredibly overwhelming to me for a ton of reasons (what if they tell me i don't have any sort of disorder and i'm just a fucked up person, what if i have to wait 6 months before i can get in somewhere, what if my insurance doesn't cover appointments or medications, etc.) but making the necessary calls with my friends there to support me made it much easier. i knew if things went well, my friends would be there at the end of it to celebrate with me and that if they didn't, they'd be there to support me and help me figure out a new plan of attack. also my best friend has an anxiety disorder and slipped me a xanax before i called anyone lmao.

going in to my first appointment with my psychiatrist, i was convinced that i had adhd. i'd been having serious issues concentrating, i was snapping out at people, i was constantly keyed up, my mind was always racing, i couldn't focus on anything, i wasn't paying bills on time not because i didn't have the money but because i forgot. i thought i had depression as well because i've struggled with small depressive episodes my entire life. they got much worse over the last year, and there were two separate periods where i was in a depressive episode for around two weeks each. during one of those, i was seriously suicidal for a hot minute. the first one, the one where i was suicidal, started suddenly in the shower one night. i started crying for no particular reason. i felt terrible but couldn't figure out a reason why. after i got out of the shower, i sat on the floor in my kitchen, listened to music, cried, smoke, and drank until 4 or 5 in the morning.

i left my first appointment with my psychiatrist with a bipolar diagnosis and two prescriptions, an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer. in retrospect, i realized that the things that made me think i had adhd were symptoms of mania, and i've gone through rapid-cycling for most of my life so it made sense. i've been on meds for about two months now. i still struggle pretty often and i'm still finding the right dosages to treat my symptoms, but there are two main differences: 1. my two extremes are a bit closer to normal now and 2. i have hope for the first time in a long time.

i know that just getting to the point where you can start to seek professional help can be really difficult. i lived it. there's comfort in staying silent because even though you know that what you're going through is terrible, you're familiar with it. who knows what will happen if you take those first steps toward treatment. maybe you try to get help and you end up back where you started, but if that happens, you'll be no worse off for it.

if you're an adult with insurance, contact your insurance agency and ask about what kind of mental health coverage your plan provides and what psychologists and psychiatrists are in your area and covered by your plan. if you don't have coverage which happened to me last year, try to find clinics that offer counseling or any other mental health services on a sliding scale based on your income. you can also try to see a family doctor or nurse practitioner. they aren't qualified to diagnose you, but they can give you a referral and prescribe you with something to help in the meantime. if you're in high school or college, talk to your parents and/or your school. a lot of colleges offer some kind of mental health services for students like x free sessions with a psychologist or discounted sessions for students. high schools often have some kind of trained psychologist available for students, even if it's not openly broadcasted. i saw mine for a couple years before i graduated.

the first step to overcoming your mental health is understanding it, and the best way to get that understanding is by talking to someone with that knowledge. i know when getting out of bed is difficult that the thought of just dialing a phone number seems impossible, forget about following through with an appointment. it might take time before you get there, but you can get there. and don't be afraid to ask for help in getting help because sometimes just having someone who understands your circumstances can make all the difference.
 

Alore

i'm sorry
is a Battle Simulator Staff Alumnus
Im at a point where it honestly feels like what i do wont matter.
I can be as proactive as i want, take the first step to seek therapy, try to go out, find occupations, see people.
But it doesnt matter, i always get sent right back into my bed, struggling to do the most basic of tasks and pushing everyone i care about away.
I always considered myself good at dealing with this, one step at a time id always get back on my feet, but this time it feels different.
Im at a hole where i feel like whatever i do is meaningless, any effort i put out will amount to nothing because the universe will just put me right back in my place, which is my bed, wishing i didnt exist.
It honestly never felt so lonely before.
Ill keep going though, what else is there to do.
This is exactly how I have felt for months now and it reached the pinnacle today, I touched the brink and felt truly suicidal for the first time in my life.

Currently my life is going nowhere, I'm failing at every aspect of it and my mental state is deteriorating steadily.

However, I do believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. I realised that yesterday.

I found a purpose, something that interests me that I would like to pursue in the future when I am able and I believe things like that are helpful in turning things around for people like us who suffer.

You may not have a purpose like that yet and you may feel insignificant or as if what you do is meaningless but anyone can be inspired.

Nothing you do is meaningless, it may mean more to you than it does to most others but that's down to a combination of both perspective and relativity. Problems are relative, they seem and often are huge to the people involved and that's okay even though a percentage of others may not quite get it because they don't see it from your point of view.

A therapist of mine caught me off guard completely last year, I had something to talk about that was, to me, crippling and life-changing yet I felt others wouldn't care or laugh at the problem because it was too trivial yet she reassured me and approached it from my point of view, understanding that just because a problem wasn't hers doesn't mean that it is any less relevant.


I'm no good with advice but you aren't alone, I'm a barely functional human being but I still think there is hope for all and you shouldn't ever feel like your actions are meaningless.

Hope you feel better eventually
 

deetah

Bright like a diamond
is a Site Content Manageris a Top Social Media Contributoris an Artistis a Community Leaderis a Community Contributoris a Smogon Discord Contributoris a Top Contributoris a Smogon Media Contributor
GP & SocMed Lead
Well might as well share a little bit about my life. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at age 8. Even though I am blessed with a good family situation, it didn't make a difference. I missed out on a lot of my childhood because of how young I was when it hit. Through the years, I have been up and down on an emotional roller coaster with my depression. I have been on many different medications and have seen many different psychologists and psychiatrists. Nothing seemed to help and I just felt like nothing mattered anymore. Middle school only increased my anxiety. I began to refuse going to school and I would cry in my room and isolate myself. I've been in the hospital as well for being suicidal.

Fast forward to now, 16 years old in my junior year in high school. I am blessed to be in a smaller school setting with other kids who can relate to what I'm dealing with. I am still seeking help for my illnesses and taking medication. I am still on this roller coaster and at times I just want to give up. I guess the point of this story is that if you are suffering with similar issues, you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Your life matters and you are irreplaceable.
 
I am already undergoing medical treatment, thanks for the kind words anyhow
Hi,
having mental problems is not easy, you're not alone in this path. I have a little brother who got diagnosed with ADHD. It's very hard to cope and manage at first but little by little me and my family already adjusted on the situation. I read some articles regarding children with ADHD and it helps in gaining more knowledge about my brother's situation. I've also read that Cogmed Working Memory Training helps the adults with ADHD to manage their ADHD.
 
Having abandoned a friend of mine who was suffering from depression because I couldn't deal with their issues (it was too much for me ,affected my life personally and took up too much of my time) , I saw their life crumble and often I had wondered "isn't it obvious you shouldn't be doing this ? / doing that is better for you?" . What I want to emphasize is the circumstances of the people in depression and the people trying to support them. Ultimately , no matter how down you feel or how low , you have to show some initiative or nothing will ever come out of the kind words , the professional help and the social support systems and friends and family. A lot of the posts seem to skew towards "hoping" you'll do better eventually (not calling anyone out, it is genuinely well-meant advice) . Kind words help , but from personal experience even hands on support will not save a person unless they have the initiative to redeem themselves on their own . Take the first step, fail , do it again , keep at it mercilessly till you succeed because no one is coming to save you other than yourself , they can only assist. Take all the assistance you need but in the end you have to have something to show for it , for all the emotion and effort people have invested in your well being because they are affected by your suffering too.
 
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Soul Fly

IMMA TEACH YOU WHAT SPLASHIN' MEANS
is a Contributor Alumnus
notes from a brave soul who didn't make it.



Money, fame, adulations. All become irrelevant in face of crushing hopelessness. Reach out and offer a hand.

Rest in Peace.
 
I make music . That's how. And I don't let peoples feelings bother mine too much anymore unless I caused them. Also understand that, people don't owe you time vice versa.. Living simple with simple thoughts and resting yourself is the wave
 
cw: suicide

in light of the recent high profile suicides, it's important to remember that your strength isn't measured by how much pain you can endure in silence. we need to make it a collective responsibility to check up on our loved ones and ourselves and always try to be present. i know i was most active on smogon during my worst bouts of depression, and i definitely am aware of how lot of us possess suicidal ideation at times.

that being said, please don't superimpose help on your loved ones. so many mental health institutions are rife with dehumanizing practices, infantilizing patients and erasing their autonomy. if you or a friend is having a rough time, don't coerce or be coerced. vet your programs, understand the impact, and weigh your options. i have had many poor experiences with mental health services, many of which only snowballed my depression. understand that, while you may have had a healing exposure doing xyz, this may not translate for others.

the work done to legitimize depression as a corporeal reality has had the unintended consequence of making it a biological boogeyman. while depression is an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, for most people it doesn't arise apropos of nothing. although medication can offset suicidal ideations, it will never eliminate the root causes and triggers that made the person depressed in the first place.

pointing the finger at depression for the upsurge in high-profile suicides is a band-aid measure at best, and ignores the host of societal ills that plague us each and every day. our world is fraught with inequality, isolation, and competition. what does it say about our world if those who are systemically celebrated are also riddled with angst and depression?

we can simultaneously try to neutralize the pain in the moment, and work toward creating a world where we don't have pain to mask. if all we do in light of these tragedies is raise awareness about depression, we are not doing enough.

stay safe loves. xx
 

JustoonSmitts

I draw stuff for a living
is a Top Artistis a Contributor to Smogon
I was recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I've been living in El Paso for two years now, but I really don't have any family or friends here. It's been a struggle to deal with it for me, but I have been making progress on getting better without medication (that will just make it worse.) I take long walks because it helps keep my mind stimulated by giving me a mini-adventure to go on. I'm really at my best when I create artwork. It's incredibly therapeutic and I have recently discovered a way to create art digitally without the need of an expensive tablet. Win-win. :)

I'm also incredibly grateful to have a fiancé that deeply cares about me. It's because of her that I am able to seek therapy and professional treatment, which also has been of some help.
 
I was recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I've been living in El Paso for two years now, but I really don't have any family or friends here.
Oof, that can be really hard to deal with while depressed; it can really drag you down. If you and your fiancé are able to go to any kind of local events, depending on your interests, it might not be a bad idea to do that. It can really help to have more people to talk to and interact with so you don't ever feel isolated. When people start to feel isolated, their thoughts can easily spiral out of control, and that can make things so much worse. Peer interaction is important, and I hope that you're able to find people to talk to and interact with that can help you get through this, even if that involves just hanging out and nothing else.

I have been making progress on getting better without medication (that will just make it worse.)
Considering you're currently going through therapy and professional treatment, it's likely you explored the medical options already, but, if you haven't, it may not be a bad idea into looking into some of the medicines that don't treat it but rather lessen the effects. I'm currently taking Citalopram for depression + anxiety, and it doesn't stop me from feeling that way; it just makes the symptoms less extreme. I used to have times where I would break down into tears and go into something similar to a panic attack, and I haven't had those ever since I started taking the medicine. There are options that aren't addictive and aren't drastically altering to brain chemistry, but it's also up to you. I just wanted to mention it in case this was something you haven't heard of that may help you c: You can talk to your doctor about it for more information than I can give if you're interested or think it may be helpful to you, but I also understand if you think it may do more harm than good. You know your body best~

Either way, I wish you the best of luck with getting through this. We're all aiming for the same goal, and we'll help each other get there in whatever way we can.
 

JustoonSmitts

I draw stuff for a living
is a Top Artistis a Contributor to Smogon
Today was the hardest one this year: we had to say goodbye to our 14-year old labrador named Sadie. She was loved by everyone she met. She wasn't the smartest dog but goddammit she was the sweetest. We're going to miss her so much... </3
 

deetah

Bright like a diamond
is a Site Content Manageris a Top Social Media Contributoris an Artistis a Community Leaderis a Community Contributoris a Smogon Discord Contributoris a Top Contributoris a Smogon Media Contributor
GP & SocMed Lead
Today was the hardest one this year: we had to say goodbye to our 14-year old labrador named Sadie. She was loved by everyone she met. She wasn't the smartest dog but goddammit she was the sweetest. We're going to miss her so much... </3
I am so sorry for your loss, I know what it's like to lose a pet and it's absolutely awful, nothing else can describe that feeling. She was probably an amazing dog and may she rest in peace. :(
 

Raidx

Banned deucer.
For the past year and a half or so I've been told i have depression but until recently i didn't believe them since I always thought depression was when one is constantly sad and well, depressed. I then found out that lack of motivation and isolation are symptoms of depression, both of which I've exhibited, so I came to the conclusion that my nurse practitioners/therapists were right when saying I most likely suffer from depression. I take effexor to treat it, though it hasn't really been beneficial and the side effects are killing me (lack of appetite), so idk. I don't experience sadness, in fact i'm very happy all the time, i just lack motivation to do anything productive and prefer to stay in my room than interact w others.
 

HailFall

my cancer is sun and my leo is moon
I feel so lonely all the time. I haven't had real friends since 8th grade and now I'm 18 and I feel completely isolated from everyone. Yes I have people I'm friendly with online, but I'm not particularly close to anyone. It's just kind of depressing ya feel? Like if I were to get into a car crash and die today ppl would say "wow that's sad" and then move on with their lives.

It was the same way back in highschool. I got along with everyone well but no one ever got close enough to me that they'd talk to me outside school. I was always an outsider. I'm off to college next year and I pray with all my heart I'm able to make some genuine close friends who I can laugh with and talk to freely and just have a real deep bond with.

I've always been the kid who sits alone at lunch, and dreads having to choose partners for projects because I don't have any close friends. It just sucks.

I've felt lonely and sad for years and I just wish I could make some real close friends
 
Man, depression. Yeah. After reading a lot of these posts, honestly it kills me to know that a lot of people are dealing with the same thing i have, something i wouldnt wish upon my worst enemy. you all have my heartfelt sympathy.

I’ve been a neet for a good while, and honestly am finally becoming able to grab ahold of my life and start to go back in the right ditection. Depression hits me hard, and I just recoil and do nothing, just wallow in the depression and shit. I’ve been off meds for a few years now and that was a bad mistake; even smoking marijuana now makes me have anxiety instantly. Tbf the anxiety is the worst part of it all. It drastically affects my life to the point where I can’t hold down a solid job, i have a horrible time meeting new people, i can barely look people in the eyes, etc. I’m going to give therapy a shot and see if it goes anywhere. What I’ve been doing to try to cope with it is going on a lot of walks, sleeping on a better sleep schedule (even tho i am up at like 5 am rn LOL) & trying to learn new breathing techniques and ways to change your mindset. It’s pretty hard to find exactly what you’re looking for.

Just try to remember this. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Truly.
 

natu

Formerly Antgeezy
does anyone else reminisce about the past 24/7 because the present sucks and they have no good/happy future to look forward to? or only my depressed self
 
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i realized over a month ago that i only talk to people because i am the one that strats the conversations

made an experiment two weeks ago to not starts conversations at all and just let people reach out to me

two weeks later, and no texts have been received

it sucks so much how you can give a lot for friendships you thought were genuine, close and real to receive nothing in exchange.
 

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