Diancie [QC 0/2]

[RKD]

[OVERVIEW]

Diancie is both a leading Trick Room setter and attacker in the metagame, with 150/150 defenses, immunity to stat lowering, and a great offensive typing. Its signature spread move Diamond Storm is strong against many common Pokemon, from Incineroar and Kyurem-Black, to Zapdos and Volcarona. The introduction of Body Press allows Diancie to use its high Defense stat in addition to any Defense boosts from Diamond Storm to pin down the likes of Porygon2 and Kartana under Trick Room. However, its Rock typing leaves Diancie vulnerable to metagame staples such as Rillaboom, Genesect, Kartana, and Urshifu-R, the latter two capable of ignoring any Defensive boosts. TODO: you write something new here (Volcanion/Rillaboom/Amoonguss as partners, see below) Bulky Pokemon such as Tapu Fini and Amoonguss. TODO: you write something new here (Amoonguss doesn't use setup so what you said there isn't quite right, even for Fini I think calling Diancie "setup fodder" is a bit strong. I'd say something along the lines of bulky Pokemon being able to take hits from Diancie and stall out Trick Room, for Amoonguss specifically you can mention it being able to underspeed and Spore Diancie. Speaking of Amoonguss, you don't mention any possible teammates at all! The three in particular I'd mention are Rillaboom (Fake Out + terrain healing), Amoonguss (redirection/healing with Puff and Spore under TR), and Volcanion (good against the Water/Grass/Steels that check Diancie). I'd probably add the sentence/s talking about them between the newly split sentences about offensive and defensive checks, and use that to link into how these teammates support Diancie. Anyways back to your last sentence, after the sentence about bulky Pokemon, I'd have your final point be a new sentence, talking about Diancie's reliance on Trick Room and how weak it is if not given the opportunity to set. The bit about the 50% boost chance isn't necessary, Diancie is still a threat without boosts, Diamond Storm is the attack you use most anyways.)

[SET]

name: Trick Room
move 1: Diamond Storm
move 2: Body Press
move 3: Trick Room
move 4: Protect
item: Weakness Policy
ability: Clear Body
nature: Brave
evs: 252 HP / 140 Atk / 116 SpD
ivs: 0 Spe



[SET COMMENTS]

• Diamond Storm is Diancie’s main form of damage(calling Diamond Storm "setup" isn't really accurate IMO), being a reliable form of general damage due to Rock-weak Pokemon being common and Rock-type resists being rare ("at the top" is already implied, these are competitive analyses, not for what 1500s on ladder happen to be using). TODO: you write something new here (mention Diamond Storm's chance for Defense boosts, which further complements its bulk)
• Body Press utilizes the defensive boosts from Diamond Storm to punch holes into opposing teams; this gives it the potential to overcome checks such as Kartana (Kartana is the main thing Body Press turns the table on, Rillaboom is hit neutrally by Diamond Storm and Body Press) and Zygarde with it.
• Trick Room allows Diancie to TODO: you write something new here (something along the lines of "take advantage of its low Speed to move first")
• Protect allows it Diancie to scout moves directed at it, TODO: you write something new here (something along the lines of "and help position for being able to set Trick Room")
• 252 HP and 116 SpDef allows Diancie to live a (doesn't need to be specified) Steam Eruption from Volcanion(that's not something you aim for, and is a pretty low chance to happen). The remaining EVs are dumped into Attack to further maximize Diamond Storm's damage output. A Brave nature with 0 Speed IVs gives Diancie a better ability to move first under Trick Room.
• Weakness Policy boosts Diancie's offenses after a super effective hit, which it can reliably take once from most Pokémon, allowing Diamond Storm to become even more fearsome (Diamond Storm - and Diancie in general - is still fearsome without boosts)

[STRATEGY COMMENTS]
Other Options
=============
Moonblast allows Diancie to use a Fairy STAB and further benefit from Weakness Policy boosts to hit Pokemon such as Zygarde, Dragapult, and Urshifu-R.(period) (+2 Moonblast is only a 9% chance to 2HKO the set spread, also burns aren't regular enough to be worth mentioning this IMO), However,(comma) this leaves it weaker against Steel-types and relies heavily on the activation of Weakness Policy to get going. Play Rough is another Fairy STAB option, though its miss chance and the fact its targets tend to have more physical Defense make it inferior to Moonblast. Babiri Berry or Passho Berry can be used to reduce damage from TODO: you write something new here (aside from adding Rindo/Shuca, you should say these berries help Diancie live an attack of a specific type, and mention the corresponding types). Safety Goggles grants Diancie immunity to Amoonguss's Spore and Rage Powder, but is of little value against teams lacking Amoonguss, and support from Diancie's teammates through Taunt or terrain can alleviate these issues. Mental Herb allows Diancie to reliably set Trick Room against Taunt, but Taunt is rarely seen. The EVs in Attack and nature can be retooled into Defenses for better survivability and a stronger Body Press (this is a big reason to do it), but detracting from Diamond Storm can leave Diancie lacking in firepower.

[CREDITS]

- Written by: [[RKD, 360265]]

- Quality checked by: [[username1, userid1], [username2, userid2]]

- Grammar checked by: [[username1, userid1]]

 

[Yoda2798]

Green=Add, Red=Remove, Yellow=Comment

[OVERVIEW]

Diancie is both a leading Trick Room setter and abuser attacker in the metagame, with 150/150 defenses, immunity to stat lowering,(comma) and a great offensive typing.(period) that powers Iits signature spread move Diamond Storm to be a hard problem for is strong against many common Pokemon seen on many teams, from Incineroar and Kyurem-Black, to Zapdos and Volcarona. The introduction of Body Press allows Diancie to use its higher Defense stat in addition to any Ddefense boosts from Diamond Storm to become harder to KO physically, (this makes it sound like Body Press is what makes Diancie harder to KO, also it's self-explanatory that Defence boosts help against physical hits) while to pinning down the likes of Pokémon such as Porygon2 and Kartana under Trick Room. However, its Rock typing leaves a lot of room for Diancie vulnerable to be crushed by metagame staples such as Rillaboom, Genesect, Kartana,(comma) and Urshifu-R, the latter two capable of (Leaf Blade crits aren't guaranteed) ignoring any Ddefensive boosts;.(period) TODO: you write something new here (Volcanion/Rillaboom/Amoonguss as partners, see below) Bbulky Pokemon able to outlast Diancie such as Tapu Fini and Amoonguss can abuse it as setup fodder, and its heavy reliance on Trick Room and a 50% boost chance to become a threat means it can be easily overwhelmed offensively and left unable to setup. TODO: you write something new here (Amoonguss doesn't use setup so what you said there isn't quite right, even for Fini I think calling Diancie "setup fodder" is a bit strong. I'd say something along the lines of bulky Pokemon being able to take hits from Diancie and stall out Trick Room, for Amoonguss specifically you can mention it being able to underspeed and Spore Diancie. Speaking of Amoonguss, you don't mention any possible teammates at all! The three in particular I'd mention are Rillaboom (Fake Out + terrain healing), Amoonguss (redirection/healing with Puff and Spore under TR), and Volcanion (good against the Water/Grass/Steels that check Diancie). I'd probably add the sentence/s talking about them between the newly split sentences about offensive and defensive checks, and use that to link into how these teammates support Diancie. Anyways back to your last sentence, after the sentence about bulky Pokemon, I'd have your final point be a new sentence, talking about Diancie's reliance on Trick Room and how weak it is if not given the opportunity to set. The bit about the 50% boost chance isn't necessary, Diancie is still a threat without boosts, Diamond Storm is the attack you use most anyways.)

[SET]

name: Diancie Trick Room (set name, not the Pokemon)
move 1: Diamond Storm
move 2: Body Press
move 3: Trick Room
move 4: Protect
item: Weakness Policy/Rindo Berry/Shuca Berry (too rarely seen to be main set, move to Other Options)
ability: Clear Body
nature: Brave
evs: 252 HP / 140 Atk / 116 SpD
ivs: 0 Spe



[SET COMMENTS]

• Diamond Storm is Diancie’s main form of damage and setup (calling Diamond Storm "setup" isn't really accurate IMO), being a reliable form of general damage due common Rock weak Pokémon being seen to Rock-weak Pokemon being common and a lack of Rock resists at the top Rock-type resists being rare ("at the top" is already implied, these are competitive analyses, not for what 1500s on ladder happen to be using). TODO: you write something new here (mention Diamond Storm's chance for Defense boosts, which further complements its bulk)
• Body Press utilizes the defensive boosts from Diamond Storm to pusnch holes into opposing teams; the augmentation of its physical trading ability this gives it the potential to overcome checks such as Rillaboom Kartana (Kartana is the main thing Body Press turns the table on, Rillaboom is hit neutrally by Diamond Storm and Body Press) and Zygarde with it.
• Trick Room allows Diancie to become its own, and gives its team reliable speed control TODO: you write something new here (something along the lines of "take advantage of its low Speed to move first")
• Protect allows it Diancie to scout moves directed at it, which is important for Diancie to take note of if it wants to set up in a safer state TODO: you write something new here (something along the lines of "and help position for being able to set Trick Room")
• 252 HP and 116 SpDef allows Diancie to live a Modest 252 SpAtk (doesn't need to be specfied) Steam Eruption from Volcanion, which allows it to trade its life through a burn if needed to setup Trick Room for its team (that's not something you aim for, and is pretty low chance to happen). The rest is remaining EVs are dumped into Attack to further maximize Diamond Storm's damage output. A Brave nature with 0 Speed IVs gives Diancie a better ability to move first under Trick Room.
• Weakness Policy boosts its Diancie's offenses after a super effective hit, which it can reliably take once from most opposing Pokémon,(comma) and allowing for Diamond Storm to become even more fearsome on its own should no boosts come to fruition (Diamond Storm - and Diancie in general - is still fearsome without boosts). The Berries allows for a more secure way to setup Trick Room in the face of common Grass and Ground coverage.

[STRATEGY COMMENTS]
Other Options
=============
Moonblast allows Diancie to use a Fairy STAB and further benefit from Weakness Policy boosts on to hit Pokemon such as Zygarde, Dragapult, and Urshifu-R.(period) and other Diancie while being unaffected by burn damage reduction (+2 Moonblast is only a 9% chance to 2HKO the set spread, also burns aren't regular enough to be worth mentioning this IMO), Hhowever,(comma) this leaves it severely lacking in taking on weaker against Steel-types and relies heavily on the activation of Weakness Policy to get going. Play Rough is another Fairy STAB option to go all physical, though its miss chance and the fact its targets that tend to have more physical Defense may leave Diancie struggling to leave a mark make it inferior to Moonblast. Babiri Berry or Passho Berry can be used to reduce damage from other Diancie checks, but are more niche than Rindo Berry or Shuca Berry TODO: you write something new here (aside from adding Rindo/Shuca, you should say these berries help Diancie live an attack of a specific type, and mention the corresponding types). Safety Goggles lets grants Diancie overcome immunity to Amoonguss's Spore and Rage Powder, but will end up being is of little value agaisnst teams lacking Amoonguss, and support from Diancie's teammates through Taunt or terrain can alleviate these issues. Mental Herb allows Diancie to reliably set up Trick Room in front of against Taunt, but Taunt is rarely seen. The EVs in Attack and nature can be retooled into Ddefenses for better survivalbility and a stronger Body Press (this is a big reason to do it), but detracting from Diamond Storm can leave Diancie lacking in firepower.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [[RKD, 360265]]
- Quality checked by: [[username1, userid1], [username2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[username1, userid1]]

A lot of what you're saying is good, but the way you're saying it is a bit clunky. For example, there's a number of times where you have a sentence that runs on and on forever when it should be split in two, or you say something in a verbose way, where fewer words is cleaner and clearer. So because of that, I've done this check in more of a GP style to help highlight with a finer brush what to change. A lot of the changes are still related to the meaning of what you're saying, but making it more readable does also make it easier to QC and GP. Once implemented, tag me so I can check over again when it's not 5am before I stamp.

 

[emma]

Been multiple months without implementing the feedback, heard author was taking a break from Smogon, and never got an answer back when I asked if they wanted to continue writing.

Locking and reassigning.