OU Electrium Z Magnezone [QC 2/1] [GP 1/1]

[xapx]

Magnezone @ Electrium Z
Ability: Magnet Pull
EVs: 4 Def / 252 SpA / 252 Spe
Modest Nature
- Substitute
- Thunderbolt
- Flash Cannon
- Hidden Power Fire

With the amazing ability Magnet Pull, Magnezone can trap and eliminate annoying bulky Steel-types like Ferrothorn and Celesteela. With Electrium Z, Magnezone is able to OHKO Mega Mawile and Celesteela with a powerful Gigavolt Havoc without taking damage. Substitute is used to ease prediction on forced switches into Pokemon such as Tyranitar and Heatran. It can also improve Magnezone's matchup against Mega Mawile, giving it protection against its Sucker Punch. Flash Cannon is also a great move, as it is a great asset to pressure Fairy-types like Tapu Bulu and Ground-types like Landorus-T from trying to switch in. Pokemon that appreciate bulky Steel-type Pokemon removed like Mega Alakazam, Kartana, and Tapu Lele appreciate Magnezone removing or weakening checks like Celesteela and Mega Scizor so they can spam their powerful moves and sweep more easily late-game.

Check out this replay to get a feel of Electrium Z Magnezone in play!
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/smogtours-gen7ou-405750

 

[GMars]

So here’s a couple fun things.

1) You were not approved to post this. In the rules of the reservation OP, you'll see you should only post a thread here after P Squared has approved your reservation.

2) You have been given plagiarism infractions for over-reliance on source material twice. You are essentially barred from OU C&C analysis reservations, and while I don't have authority over reservations in this particular subforum, I'd imagine you should at least wait until your most recent plagiarism infraction expires on the 15th before trying to reserve something.

3) The points you've marked down follow the on-site analysis too closely given your history and show a lack of individual understanding of the mon, meaning nothing has really changed since your last two infractions for over-reliance on source material.

I appreciate that you want to contribute to content creation, but it should be painfully obvious by this point that this isn't the way to go about it.

 

[xapx]

Oh sorry, I missed the point about the approval. I'm sorry if this seemed too close to the actual analysis, I actually just checked the Speed Tier and calced. I actually ran through all the recent tours to find Electrium Z Magnezone. Tbh I thought of some of the points after writing the BH analyses. (While both are vastly different metagames, some points like Sub with no recovery and opening a spot for Kartana to sweep are blatantly obvious while the Kartana point also works in different metas.)
So should this thread be deleted until P Squared approves or it gets reassigned?

So here’s a couple fun things.

1) You were not approved to post this. In the rules of the reservation OP, you'll see you should only post a thread here after P Squared has approved your reservation.

2) You have been given plagiarism infractions for over-reliance on source material twice. You are essentially barred from OU C&C analysis reservations, and while I don't have authority over reservations in this particular subforum, I'd imagine you should at least wait until your most recent plagiarism infraction expires on the 15th before trying to reserve something.

3) The points you've marked down follow the on-site analysis too closely given your history and show a lack of individual understanding of the mon, meaning nothing has really changed since your last two infractions for over-reliance on source material.

I appreciate that you want to contribute to content creation, but it should be painfully obvious by this point that this isn't the way to go about it.

 

[xapx]

Tagging GMars for QC check because why not.

Edit: I removed some useless info to try and keep it short and added team options.

 

[Gross Sweep]

Hey man this isn't a full on QC check, but these have a 1000 character limit excluding the replay link and set import, and your spotlight stands as 2135 characters right now. Meaning this basically has to be cut in half, and then some. For starters on shortening this up remove the big description after the replay link, it's unneeded. Also the sentence where you list all the types Magnezone is weak to can be axed. When you're making edits try and think about what's meta specific, and what's general pokemon knowledge, and stray away from just general knowledge. Also the body of this spotlight should be 1 paragraph, not 2, so make sure to fix that when cutting this down.

This is no where near a full check, so please tag me/another qc member for another look through when these first few things have been implemented, and this is in the correct format for a more comprehensive content specific check.

 

[xapx]

I think this is ready now Gross Sweep

E: I realized I double pasted the set

 

[Gross Sweep]

can trap and eliminate annoying bulky Steel-types like Celesteela and Mega Scizor.

I would add Ferrothorn to this, as it's one of the main mons Magnezone traps.

However, it does suffer from the inability to immediately deal with the common Heatran and Magearna, which are both able to take a hit and proceed to KO Magnezone and pivot out respectively.

I'm honestly not the biggest fan of including this sentence. I just don't like the placement of naming 2 steel types it doesn't trap early on like this. I feel like if you're going to mention this it should be near the end, where you can suggest teammates that help these matchups. But I probably wouldn't mention them at all.

With Electrium Z, Magnezone is able to threaten the mentioned Pokemon with a powerful Gigavolt Havoc.

As the mentions of Heatran and Magearna were cut I would just list mons like M-Mawile and Celesteela here who you can now one shot and avoid taking a big hit from.

Substitute is used to prevent Sucker Punch from Mega Mawile from KOing Magnezone, and can proceed to KO Mega Mawile.

Substitute does more for the team than just help vs Mega Mawile. I would emphasis easing predicition on things like forced switches, along with helping the match up vs opposing M-Mawile thanks to protection from Sucker Punch. Obviously word it better, just be sure to include both with easing predictions mentioned first.

Pokemon that are checked by bulky Steel-types like Mega Mawile, Grass-types like Kartana, and Psychic- or Fairy-type attackers like Tapu Lele appreciate Magnezone removing or weakening checks like Skarmory or Heatran, so they can spam their powerful moves and sweep more easily late-game.

This starts to fall into that general knowledge section as you don't need to include typings along with examples, it should be assumed the people reading this already have that knowledge - so just list examples of big metagame threats that enjoy Magnezone. Something simple like "Great teammates for Magnezone are those who take advantage of the removal of bulky steel types, such as Ash Geninja, Kartana, and Tapu Lele.

Also it's probably worth mentioning that Flash Cannon is an asset as it helps pressure fairies like Clefable and Tapu Koko, along with punishing Ground types like Landorus-T trying to switch in.

There was a lot mentioned here so I'm not going to sign off on this quite yet, but make the edits and I'll give it another glance. If everything is done well it should be good to go from there.

 

[xapx]

QC check

Thanks for the QC. I've implemented the check and it should be ready for the stamp.

 

[Gross Sweep]

With Electrium Z, Magnezone is able to threaten Mega Mawile and Celesteela with a powerful Gigavolt Havoc.

Mention that it picks up the OHKO without taking damage, the point is that it eliminates Mawile and Celesteela without having to take a fire fang / flamethrower or leech seed shenanigans - not just that it plainly threatens them.

Substitute is used to ease prediction on forced switches, for example, onto Tyranitar or Landorus-T.

Since Landorus-T is mentioned later on name something else that likes to switch into Magnezone that getting behind a sub is good against.

like Skarmory or Heatran,

Remove Heatran from this, you're not really trapping Tran with this mon, really only comes to this if someone brings Tran in on Zone as it subs up. If you need to remove like Mega Scizor from the first sentence and place it here that's fine with me. You could probably use Heatran above in place of Landorus-T.

Flash Cannon is also a great move, as it is a great asset to pressure Fairy-types like Tapu Bulu and Ground-types like Landorus-T from switching in.

Move this line before the section on teammates. I get the feeling this is your first analysis, and that's just a general thing about format for these. Also instead of : Ground-types like Landorus-T from switching in, change it to trying to switch in. Just a better word choice for the match up.

Alright that's all I got, do this and you've got your 1/1.

 

[xapx]

stamp

Thanks for the stamp, implemented above and will be moving to GP unless there are any extra changes wanted to be done by other OU QC members?

 

[Gross Sweep]

Substitute is used to ease prediction on forced switches, for example, onto Tyranitar or Heatran. Flash Cannon is also a great move, as it is a great asset to pressure Fairy-types like Tapu Bulu and Ground-types like Landorus-T from trying to switch in. It can also improve Magnezone's matchup against Mega Mawile, giving it protection against its Sucker Punch.

I'm assuming this was a clerical error as you moved the flash cannon statement, but you broke up the substitute sentences with it. Move the sentence about Flash Cannon to after you talk about sub fully. also remove the from after Landorus-T.

 

[A Cake Wearing A Hat]

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Magnezone @ Electrium Z
Ability: Magnet Pull
EVs: 4 Def / 252 SpA / 252 Spe
Modest Nature
- Substitute
- Thunderbolt
- Flash Cannon
- Hidden Power Fire

With the amazing ability Magnet Pull, Magnezone can trap and eliminate annoying bulky Steel-types like Ferrothorn and Celesteela. With Electrium Z, Magnezone is able to OHKO Mega Mawile and Celesteela with a powerful Gigavolt Havoc without taking damage. Substitute is used to ease prediction on forced switches, (RC) for example, onto into Pokemon such as Tyranitar or and Heatran. It can also improve Magnezone's matchup against Mega Mawile, giving it protection against its Sucker Punch. (remove doublespace)Flash Cannon is also a great move, as it is a great asset to pressure Fairy-types like Tapu Bulu and Ground-types like Landorus-T from trying to switch in. Pokemon that appreciate bulky Steel-type Pokemon removed like Ash-Greninja, Mega Alakazam, and Kartana appreciate Magnezone removing or weakening checks like Skarmory or and Mega Scizor, (RC) so they can spam their powerful moves and sweep more easily late-game.

Check out this replay to get a feel of Electrium Z Magnezone in play!
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/smogtours-gen7ou-405750

GP 1/1

 

[lydian]

I know I’m late to the party but I felt the need to chime in real quick with two minor nitpicks.

Pokemon that appreciate bulky Steel-type Pokemon removed like Ash-Greninja, Mega Alakazam, and Kartana appreciate Magnezone removing or weakening checks like Skarmory and Mega Scizor so they can spam their powerful moves and sweep more easily late-game.

• I don’t see how Ash-Greninja appreciates Steel-types gone like the other two do, like sure trapping Ferrothorn is nice, but I think there are much better choices to suggest as a Magnezone ally. I feel like Tapu Lele would work better as an example. So replace Ash-Greninja with Tapu Lele, but move it after Kartana.
• Mentioning Skarmory here is really odd because Skarmory is really not as relevant as the other Steel-types you’re trapping. Just replace it with Celesteela here.

Hmm, QC 2/1 I guess? Shouldn’t interfere with Grammar because you should just replace the Pokémon so it should be good to go after that!

 

[xapx]

I know I’m late to the party but I felt the need to chime in real quick with two minor nitpicks.

• I don’t see how Ash-Greninja appreciates Steel-types gone like the other two do, like sure trapping Ferrothorn is nice, but I think there are much better choices to suggest as a Magnezone ally. I feel like Tapu Lele would work better as an example. So replace Ash-Greninja with Tapu Lele, but move it after Kartana.
• Mentioning Skarmory here is really odd because Skarmory is really not as relevant as the other Steel-types you’re trapping. Just replace it with Celesteela here.

Hmm, QC 2/1 I guess? Shouldn’t interfere with Grammar because you should just replace the Pokémon so it should be good to go after that!

Implemented that, thanks for the QC.

add remove comments

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Magnezone @ Electrium Z
Ability: Magnet Pull
EVs: 4 Def / 252 SpA / 252 Spe
Modest Nature
- Substitute
- Thunderbolt
- Flash Cannon
- Hidden Power Fire

With the amazing ability Magnet Pull, Magnezone can trap and eliminate annoying bulky Steel-types like Ferrothorn and Celesteela. With Electrium Z, Magnezone is able to OHKO Mega Mawile and Celesteela with a powerful Gigavolt Havoc without taking damage. Substitute is used to ease prediction on forced switches, (RC) for example, onto into Pokemon such as Tyranitar or and Heatran. It can also improve Magnezone's matchup against Mega Mawile, giving it protection against its Sucker Punch. (remove doublespace)Flash Cannon is also a great move, as it is a great asset to pressure Fairy-types like Tapu Bulu and Ground-types like Landorus-T from trying to switch in. Pokemon that appreciate bulky Steel-type Pokemon removed like Ash-Greninja, Mega Alakazam, and Kartana appreciate Magnezone removing or weakening checks like Skarmory or and Mega Scizor, (RC) so they can spam their powerful moves and sweep more easily late-game.

Check out this replay to get a feel of Electrium Z Magnezone in play!
https://replay.pokemonshowdown.com/smogtours-gen7ou-405750

GP 1/1

Thanks Cake!

This is now ready to be uploaded.