Walrus Epic gamer boy Walrus - Cat 1 reveal Saturday 4th of July at 8 PM BST


I'm Batman
is a Forum Moderatoris a Live Chat Contributoris a Contributor to Smogon
Approved by Brainpan
Hello everyone, and welcome to my Walrus. In case you're new around these parts, a walrus is a game where you submit songs for a number of categories for me to rate according to my objectively correct taste. The winner is the person with the most points after all categories have been revealed.

This walrus is gonna be pretty vanilla bc I can't really be arsed to come up with some weird gimmick for this. Make sure to read the rules tho so that you don't get caught out. I'm coming up with these categories half on the spot so I might end up with more of them than I planned LOL

Rules and Game Specifics:
  • If you want to play, make sure to post itc. Not the end of the world if you forget to do this, but I would massively appreciate it bc it helps to streamline admin.
  • I will only accept song submissions by Smogon PM. If you sub to me on Discord, I will tell you to repost it on Smogon. This is just to make sure everything is in one place, as I use Discord DMs pretty extensively and don't wanna lose shit.
    • I'm willing to make an exception if (and only if) you don't have a Smogon account.
  • I would ideally like everyone to sub for every category before the walrus starts, but because I know that's unlikely I'm gonna kindly ask that people try to submit songs at least 1 round in advance so that I have adequate time to listen and relisten to subs.
    • Write-ups aren't mandatory, but they are helpful in cases where something doesn't match a category in a clear-cut way or if additional context would be helpful. I will paste any write-ups publicly in reveals if I remember.
  • The only examples you will get for each category are the header and closer.
    • This should be a given, but don't sub the header/ender.
  • Songs will be scored from -2–10 according to the definitions in the hide tag below to a base resolution of 1.0 points—every number will be treated as a tier rather than me trying to rank directly to an arbitrary 0.1 resolution like other walruses do.
    • When multiple songs score the same, they will be ordered at decimal intervals according to the following rules:
      • 0–5 songs: 0.2 (e.g. 7.0, 7.2, 7.4, 7.6, 7.8)
      • 6–9 songs: 0.1 (e.g. 7.0, 7.1, 7.2, 7.3, 7.4, 7.5)
      • 10–19 songs: 0.05 (e.g. 7.05, 7.10, 7.15, 7.20, 7.25, 7.30, 7.35, 7.40, 7.45, 7.50, 7.55, 7.60, 7.65, 7.70, 7.75, 7.80, 7.85, 7.90, 7.95)
      • Etc.
    • No decimals for -2, 0, or 10 scores—this means there could theoretically be multiple first-place finishes in one category.
    • Scores are more likely to be 6+ than they are 5-
  • Your lowest score will be excluded. Category 12 is exempt from this.
-2 - Category Fail
0 - Indefensible
1 - Appalling
2 - Terrible
3 - Very Bad
4 - Bad
5 - Mediocre / Middling
6 - Decent
7 - Good
8 - Great
9 - Excellent
10 - Masterpiece

About me: I am a 22 year old British Japanophile who played the french and tenor horns in bands and orchestras regularly from the ages of 8–21. Despite this, my knowledge of music isn't great. That said, I'm discovering more slowly but surely and am having fun with it. Growing up I tended to listen to a lot more video game (read: Nintendo) music than I did anything else, so I expect that has probably also played into my taste a lot. The genre I tend to resonate the most with is jazz, which would be attributable to my time spent playing in bands if not for the fact I really liked it before then anyway, even when I was as young as 5 years old. I also listen to JPop a lot so if you're looking to score well that's a pretty safe bet. There aren't a whole lot of genres that I actively dislike. I'm not into very drum machine heavy music (modern hip-hop, trap, jungle, grime, D&B etc.) and generally like music that I can get grooving to. That said, I'm not that hard to please, and I really do like most music I hear provided I think it has some musical integrity to it. If you want a rough look at my taste, I attached my Topsters chart from late February below, though keep in mind that these things get outdated in about 15 minutes for me regardless of whether I discover anything new within those 15 minutes lol.

With that out of the way, lets kick this walrus off!
Category 1: Latin Redux
Stan Kenton and His Orchestra - Malagueña
Ender: Koji Kondo - Gerudo Valley
I had this category in my very first walrus and it was a lot of fun+was received very well, so I decided it'd be fun to open on this. Latin is a really fascinating genre for me. People generally interpret it as music from South American artists, which is definitely fair game here within reason, but for me Latin music is largely defined by the modes and/or tropes of traditional Latin American music, which themselves have roots in Spanish, African, and indigenous music, so I'm more concerned about a piece of music evoking a Latin feel than I am about whether it was produced by a Latin American composer/group.

Category 2: Free Samples (Sampling)
Header: Fatboy Slim - Fucking In Heaven
Ender: Fatboy Slim - Praise You

Sampling is so fucking cool. For this category, I want to hear music that uses sampling extensively. This sampling can either be samples made by the producer for the song in question or they can be samples taken from other media. The closer is a 10/10 song btw and if you disagree your taste is wrong. Also I'm aware I posted two songs by the same artist. Deal with it *whips out shades*

Cited samples from other songs are fair game regardless of the above bullets

Category 3: Fighting Spirit (Fighting Games Round 1)
Header 1: Confontation (Soul Calibur II/III) (Necrid (II) / Rock (III) Theme)
Header 2: Moonsiders (Tekken 7) (Infinite Azure)
Ender: In the Shadows (BlazBlue: Central Fiction) (Hibiki Kohaku Theme)

Seeing how my main digs nowadays outside of lockdown is the London FGC, where I play Tekken+Soul Calibur VI under the gamer tag Boxty (and much more recently Super Smash Bros: Ultimate, though sadly that was cut short after 2 weeks bc of lockdown), I figured it would only be fitting to have 3 categories more or less dedicated to fighting games. This first one is simple: I want you to submit a character/stage theme from a fighting game. There are lots of different ways to make a good theme, whether it's the music's ability to portray a character's personality/background, its ability to get you in a good brain state to fight, or just something that gets you pumped and your heart racing. I'm going to be lenient with regards to guest themes using guest music from games like BBTag, but my rule on this is that it must be the version/arrangement which is used in the game in question. The other rule I'm putting in place is that, for Super Smash Bros. games from Brawl onwards, you can not submit any music unless the original composition (composition ≠ arrangement) is from the game in question. This is to stop this round becoming becoming a Smash fest.

Category 4: Hajimeyo ka? (Anime OPs) (Video)
Header: Yoko Takahashi - A Cruel Angel's Thesis (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
Ender: Kanako Itou - Hacking to the Gate (Steins;Gate)

When I watch anime, the thing I get the most pumped to see is its opening and ending sequences. Yes, you read that right. I love watching anime OPs/EDs, so much so that I've decided to make the former its own category. Please send me an anime OP. These will be rated both on the music and visuals. I strongly recommend giving me a little background on the show alongside your submission as it may help explain some of the motifs or imagery used in the opening. Please try to submit the version with Japanese credits if at all possible. I don't mind spoilers very much, so if it's necessary please don't feel afraid to provide a spoiler, but please only do so if it's completely necessary to understand something in the OP.

Category 5: Taste the Steel of My Katana (Metal)
Header: Pierce the Veil - May These Noises Startle You In Your Sleep Tonight + Hell Above
Ender: MAXIMUM THE HORMONE - What's Up People

Metal is a genre I feel like I'd probably like a lot but have no clue where to start looking. Hell, why do you think I have fucking Pierce the Veil and Death Note as my header+closer? Please submit metal. Also I'm not afraid of screaming.

Category 6: A Smashing Time (Fighting Games Round 2)
Header: Blitz It! (Chirpy Chips) (Splatoon 2)
Ruined Skyworld (Kid Icarus: Uprising)
Remember how I said I didn't want that other round to become a Smash fest? This is half of the reason why. This category is simple: you can submit any piece of music from any game franchise which is represented among the playable characters in the Super Smash Bros. series. The game itself the music comes from doesn't need a rep in Smash, I just need at least one game in its entire franchise to be represented. I'm also including ARMS despite it not being in the game yet because we know there is going to be a rep. EDIT: any Mii costume that got added alongside a piece of music is gonna qualify. 10/10s are very much possible for this round. For reference, the following franchises are all fair game:
  • Super Mario Bros
  • Donkey Kong
  • The Legend of Zelda
  • Metroid
  • Yoshi
  • Kirby
  • Star Fox
  • Pokémon
  • Earthbound / Mother
  • F-Zero
  • Ice Climber
  • Fire Emblem
  • Game & Watch
  • Kid Icarus
  • Wario Ware
  • Metal Gear
  • Sonic the Hedgehog
  • Pikmin
  • R.O.B. (does this count? Are there any actual R.O.B. games or is it just a plastic toy?)
  • Animal Crossing
  • Mega Man
  • Wii Fit
  • Punch Out
  • Mii*
  • Pac Man
  • Duck Hunt
  • Street Fighter
  • Xenoblade Chronicles
  • Final Fantasy
  • Bayonetta
  • Splatoon
  • Castlevania
  • Persona
  • Dragon Quest
  • Banjo-Kazooie
  • Undertale
  • Fatal Fury
  • Cuphead
  • ARMS
*For this one specifically, I'm willing to concede any game/application where the only characters are Miis or where Miis are otherwise the primary focus of the game)

Category 7: Jazz Hands (Jazz and Funk)
Header: Weather Report - Birdland
Ender: Masayasu Tsuboguchi - Gakusei Kibun (ReLIFE OST)

Remember how I said I love jazz? Well, it's time to follow through on that. Please send me a piece of music which can be classified as Jazz or Funk. This can be anything from big band and jazz standards to jazz pop to rag and swing to jazz chip and electro swing to freestyle jazz and anything in between.

Category 8: The First Sound of the Future (Vocaloid)
Header 1: Kikuo - The Cat's Dining Table
Header 2: mikitoP - Roki
Ender 1: wowaka - Rolling Girl
Ender 2:
PinocchioP - Common World Domination
Vocaloid is what actually shook me out of my VGM-only mindstate back in 2015 or 16 as well as what got me into Japanese media before anime. And I really nerd out over it too. There are a lot of producers who really come into their own and who built entire careers around this funny, gimmicky piece of software. And the software (specifically Hatsune Miku) has come such a long way since its conception almost one and a half decades ago too, with certain producers slowly getting closer believably imitating a human voice. Please submit a piece of music which features one or more Vocaloid. This can be something produced with Vocaloid as the only vocal line or by integrating a real voice alongside it—just so long as there is Vocaloid in it. If you're wondering why there are 2 headers+enders, it's because I don't know how much ppl outside of my little bubble actually know about Vocaloid, so I thought I'd try and introduce a few different producers to help give you a starting point when researching.

Category 9: Come At Me (Fighting Games Round 3)
Header: Jamiroquai - Use the Force
Ender: Deep Purple - Highway Star

And now we come to our third and final fighting game round. This one will be a little more personal: I want you to submit a piece of music that would be your character theme if you were to be added to a fighting game. Like I said in that other round, there are lots of ways to design a good character theme. Ideally they portray something about the character in question (e.g. if a character is a pirate it might sound piratey, if they're hyper-intelligent, sophisticated, or pretentious it might be jazzy or abstract, and if they're Chinese it might use some stereotyped, stocky Chinese sounding music etc.), and the type of energy they exude should also be appropriate to fight to, whether that be a cool, calm, and collected driving focus or something that gets your heart racing. I want to hear something that not only makes for good fighting music but which also suits you. This is the only category where I am going to mandate a write-up, as I will need additional context to work off when judging.

Category 10: Visiting Hours (Crime)
Madness - Land of Hope and Glory
Ender: Simon and Garfunkel - Wednesday Morning, 3 AM
I really enjoy watching crime dramas, especially episodic fare like New Tricks and whodunnits such as Agetha Christie's Poirot—I love me a good dénouement. For this category, I simply want songs about crime. These can be songs about crimes being committed, about fugitives, organised crime, police chasing criminals, the personal repercussions of crime on either criminals or victims, about people in prison, or anything else you think ties into the subject matter. I'm willing to judge songs in languages other than English on the condition that you either submit a video with the translated lyrics (in hard subs or YouTube's closed captions) or provide a link to a translation alongside the submission.

Category 11: Checkpoint (YouTube Algorithm)
Header: Yoshiko Sai - Taiji no Yume
Ender: Snail's House - Ra-Mu-Ne

There's a YouTube series I watch a lot called Psyche of Play, and in one of the episodes the guy talks about so-called "internet checkpoints." Around 2 days ago, the very video that spurred him to make that one appeared in my YouTube recommendations, and it kinda reminded me of how much music I've discovered over time just through the YouTube algorithm. For this category, I simply want you to send me a piece of music that you first found thanks to the YouTube algorithm. Obviously I can't verify if you're lying or not, so I'm just gonna have to trust you to not cheat on this one.

Category 12: Last Encore (Comeback Mechanic)
Header 1: Hitorishizuku×Yama - Bad ∞ End ∞ Night (Vocaloid, Jazz (Big Band Swing), Crime (Murder))
Ender: Ending Theme (Pokémon Heart Gold and Soul Silver Versions) (Smash series)

With this walrus in its twelvth hour, I figured I'd try to get everyone all competitive for the final act. In this last round, I am giving you the opportunity to submit a second song for an earlier category. However, there is a (probably very broken) twist: in a move inspired by the comeback mechanics in fighting games, your score at the end will be multiplied by the number of categories the song qualifies for. Of course, there are a few other rules to take into account, so please read before submitting:
  • Categories 4, 9, and 11 are excluded from this one—please do not submit songs for those categories.
  • Categories 3 and 6 can't be submitted together. Edit: Neither can 3 and 12. Only one will be counted if you do.
  • You must state EVERY category you are submitting a song for. I won't count any categories you don't state explicitly in your submission PM.
  • If you catfail for at least one category, you catfail the entire category and the penalty will be multiplied by double the number of categories you submitted for.

If I remember to, I will try and warn you in advance if you catfail any category other than 12. I definitely don't wanna miss the spicy reaction if there are any catfails for that monstrosity.

If you want to play, please post ITT. I'll give around 2 weeks for people to sub while I decide on a date for the first reveal.

Da Letter El termi Oddish. Blazade plz game with me

Signups (bold if subbed):
leonard (from big bang theory)
Panic Station
Da Letter El
Last edited:


I'm Batman
is a Forum Moderatoris a Live Chat Contributoris a Contributor to Smogon
AMENDMENT TO CATEGORY 6: Any Mii costume that got added tied to a piece of music will now qualify as a rep. This means:
  • Undertale
  • Cuphead
Also adding the lowest score exclusion role for all categories other than 12
Last edited:


I'm Batman
is a Forum Moderatoris a Live Chat Contributoris a Contributor to Smogon
Cat 1 reveal will be on Wednesday evening at around 8 PM BST. Please make sure to get cat 1 subbed before Sunday and cat 2 subbed before the cat 1 reveal


I'm Batman
is a Forum Moderatoris a Live Chat Contributoris a Contributor to Smogon
Did the walrus reveal occur as planned on July 4? If so, when can we expect the writeup? I don't use Discord.
Hi, the reveal did happen on Saturday as planned. I'll get the thing in the thread tomorrow—I held off on posting ITT because I ended up needing to live-score smth and wanted a little more time for re-listening before posting the full final scores.


I'm Batman
is a Forum Moderatoris a Live Chat Contributoris a Contributor to Smogon
13th - 5.0 - MyNameIsNothing
Pleasant enough but I don't like verses with high syllable counts. The rest of the piece is nothing to write home about. There are some pop singer-isms towards the end that I don't like too
12th - 5.2 - Aladyyn
It feels poppy and I like it in some parts, but I can't help but not like it in others. I think most of my issues come from the singer, who's fine at first but just kinda grates on me as the song goes on.
11th - 5.4 - RODAN
This is about what I'd expect from a Latin WWE theme. It's sorta good as a dance number until the guitar solo, and as soon as it does it just feels a little nondescript. Add the looping and it just gets tiring as it goes on further. I enjoyed it at first though so I can't in good faith rate it any lower than this.
10th - 5.6 - Duskfall98
As far as clubby music goes, this sits in that weird spot where I don't have any particular feelings for it.
9th - 6.0 - BLOODYRAIN10001
This video is so quintessentially "internet" that, when combined with the cactus's lines, I couldn't help but giggle a little. The song is neither here nor there but it's not outright unappealing.
8th - 6.2 - trace
This is a nice, inoffensive piece of music. Would be a great fit for a café performance. And that's definitely not a bad thing—I've expressed my fondness for café music in the past—but at the same time I can't shake that feeling that I've heard songs just like this maybe a hundred times before. Once again, not expressly a bad thing. I'm typically the first to jump to the defense of songs with good fundamentals but played-out progressions—music which adheres strictly to the circle of fifths, a 145 progression, 12 bar blues, and other such played-out tropes—when music snobs rag on them. In this case, however, I'm just left feeling a little underwhelmed by it.
7th - 6.4 - Da Letter El
Yeah, this isn't the sort of thing I tend to listen to. But I like it—wouldn't go out of my way to listen to it or anything, but it does a lot right which is the main thing. I like the simple clapping rhythm in particular.
6th - 7.0 - Panic Station
This piece is short and sweet, and it does a good job of building and releasing tension throughout its playtime. However, I can't help but feel like it plays it a little too safe for a little too long in the first half. I love the dissonant accordion stabs towards the end, and the accordion solo is just divine—nice pander in that regard.
5th - 7.2 - Lectrys
Lectrys said:
According to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin_music, banda counts as Latin music because of its Mexican origins. This is a pretty good example of a banda song, and it infectiously put a smile on my face today.
Yes, banda is indeed Latin music. And this one does bring a sorta childish smile to my face. Good shit.
4th - 8.0 - vonFiedler
vonFiedler said:
Sometimes during the dub of Ghost Stories the actors just start speaking Spanish for whole scenes

I was looking for Latin covers of OOT songs and the youtube algorithm
spoke to me (and we now know you are a firm believer in the algorithm)
Santana - Smooth is a classic. I also like Santana - Smooth. You were right to put faith in the algorithm.
3rd - 8.2 - Oddish.
I like this a lot. The only thing holding it back from being a 9 is the length—the melody is strong but it does get a little tiring after a while.
2nd - 9.0 - termi
It's groovy, it's got good guitar, and holds my interest extremely well. There are just a lot of things I like about this. Additionally, the brass stabs are simple but they accent it in exactly the right way.
1st - 9.2 - Energy
The order of this+2nd place came down to this being a guilty pleasure song of mine. Anyone who played in my first walrus should know how much I like this song, as this was actually my Latin header. I have no clue if Energy was aware of that when subbing but it was. It's just so much fun—it's catchy, it makes me want to dance, and the backing track is awesome. And also proof that I do not punish something that could be a pander.

Screen Shot 2020-07-08 at 01.55.26.png

Oddish. please submit before the end of the day on Thursday as the next reveal will be on Sunday at 8 PM BST.

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