Everyone is John

internet

internet

no longer getting paid to moderate
is an Artist Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnus
permission from zorbees

heres the game:

EVERYONE_IS_JOHN.png


in this thread we try to get games of everyone is john together. I'm down to GM or play whenever I'm free (not consistently awake at the same times but i have shitloads of free time). Also propose locations for john to wake up.

propose times and locations

i propose 2 hours after this thread was posted or whenever we get enough people in the social forums games discord channel , voice chat or not decided by majority
 
this sounds fun i would be down to play on friday/saturday/sunday when i am bummin around

wake up in the mornin feelin like p diddy in a bathtub
 
JohnMaster: internet/pinkmoth
Players: scrake, GeneralSpoon, Martin, Oddish.

Most people only have one voice in their head. We have four voices in our head. I am GeneralSpoon; the others are scrake, Martin and Oddish. Our life got flipped, turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there. I'll tell you how we became an inmate in this mental asylum. Our name is John.

Our day started where it always started; in our bedroom in our apartment. GeneralSpoon, that is to say, me, expended a great deal of effort in gaining control of our body. The doorbell was ringing, so we grabbed our bathrobe, and promptly fell down the stairs. scrake took control, and saw children running away when we answered the door. Grabbing a cooking knife from the kitchen, we chased them, tripped and stabbed ourselves.

Oddish took control then. As we lay bleeding, we got the attention of a bystander, who came over to inspect us. We struck then, stabbing her in the leg. She fell, and we finished her off by cutting her throat. Satisfied in our accomplishment, Oddish lost control.

I took control again. Dragging us back into our apartment, we grabbed our wallet and phone, then called 911. We reported that we had been stabbed, and killed our attacker in self-defense. The next bit is hazy, but eventually, we woke up in the hospital, in a hospital bed. There were three other patients in the room, and a police officer. Luckily for us, Oddish took control, and easily convinced the officer that we were acting in self-defense. Buying this story, he left us be.

Martin took control then. It was around this time that I remembered that we had forgotten our passport at home. We used our phone to begin to watch the pile of trash known as Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. After applying a Herculean effort, and putting the movie on x3 speed, we watched the entire movie, despite our bladder's protests. We then promptly wet ourselves on the way to the bathroom. Martin managed to retain control though, and after cleaning ourselves up, began to watch Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.

He quickly lost control to scrake though. We began to read a popular science magazine upside down. After absorbing its information, we attempted to draw a picture on another patient. Unable to draw it over his struggles, we attracted the attention of a nurse. She told us to knock it off. Oddish gained control, and we attempted to convince the nurse that the other patient started it. The nurse was not convinced, and then I assumed control.

We lined up an Uber to take us home. We had a conversation with the driver about how terrible Star Wars Episode I is, as well as my knowledge of the Japanese language. Once home, I remembered that our passport and clothes were upstairs. We attempted to go upstairs, but failed. Oddish took control again, immediately working towards her goals.

We went over to talk to our neighbor, Jimbob McGee. We brought the conversation around to pies, at which point Jimbob mentioned that he preferred savory pies over sweet pies. We mentioned that we had a pie in our apartment that we would like to share, and successfully convinced him to come over.

He came over, and when he asked where the pie was, we attacked him with a knife. Our stroke was off though, Jimbob's rolls of fat protecting his vitals from damage. As Jimbob ran away, our control of John switched rapidly. Oddish lost control, and I don't remember who took control next. What I do remember is that we realized that we all agreed that we should flee the country to Japan. Whoever had control failed to climb the stairs, and scrake took control.

We successfully built a grappling hook and climbed the stairs with it. We then attempted to draw schematics for a very low budget Ironman suit. Failing this, I took control once more. We put on our clothes, grabbed our passport, and promptly fell down the stairs.

Oddish took control again. We arranged for an Uber to take us to the airport. She decided that we would take a nap, as there was a lot of traffic on our way to the airport. At the airport I took control, and attempted to alter our passport, as it seemed likely that our passport would send up a red flag after our murder attempt of Jimbob. Despite my skill at this, we failed, messing up our passport.

Oddish took control again. We contacted an Uber, with the intent for it to drive us to Japan. We don't remember much after that other than convincing the driver that it was a good idea. We lose our memories after that, and the next thing we remember is being in a cell in a police station. We can only assume that we utterly failed in our masquerade as a normal human being, and that the driver took us there. From there, we went through a trial, and eventually ended up in this mental asylum.

All we can do is compare how successful we were at our goals while we had freedom. Martin wasn't able to get us to watch Star Wars Episodes I-VI. I failed to get us to visit Japan. scrake failed to get us to build a low-budget Ironman suit. Oddish was able to get us to kill somebody though. I suppose that means that if we were keeping score, that she'd have won.

And that is our story.
 
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JohnMaster: internet
Players: Martin Oddish. RODAN!!! Flyhn Former Hope

One day in Los Angeles, John awakens to the sound of his doorbell being spammed. As is the case with every new day, a new flight of stairs must be conquered. Oddish. takes the wheel for this important mission, and she then proceeds to march John in the direction of the stairs, where he promptly overshoots the first step--tumbling with the utterly serene grace of an autistic buffalo with Parkinson's disease before slamming onto the ground and, by some miracle, avoiding any injuries what-so-ever. Flyhn seizes the opportunity to steal control of John to yell at the guy who still doesn't shut up after hearing the commotion indoors, and then proceeds to open the door and casually engage the Jehovah's Witness in a discussion about Pokemon while John's dick just kinda hangs there. After insulting his obviously bad tastes in Pokémon with our objectively correct genwunner opinions and obtaining a raging boner in the process, John--who is now being controlled by Former Hope--proceeds to chase the pussy who dared to say that generation 1 wasn't the only good generation of Pokémon down the street completely naked, after which John fails to steal the bible preacher's mobile when he attempts to call the police to report our public nudity and he escapes. Knowing we needed to avoid the police, RODAN takes control John breaks into his neighbours' before stealing their clothes and mobile phone and proceeds to call an uber.

Now fully dressed, we trip and fall as we jump back out of the window--leaving us with some minor bruising--and get into the uber which is waiting outdoors. Keeping John's priorities in mind, I take control and proceed to seduce our driver. John takes out the phone he just stole from his neighbour and turns on its camera before proceeding to film himself fucking the chick in the uber. After an incredible session of multi-positional fucking, John pulls out and releases his seed onto the hot naked body of his chauffeur. He asks her to drive us to the White House, to which she declines on account of it being too far to drive. That said, she proved willing to take us to the airport, and John decides to take a nap en route; it was a pretty eventful morning, so it's no wonder he was knackered. After reaching the airport, our driver refuses to fly with us to Washington, and so RODAN takes the wheel and John successfully guilt trips the entire airport into giving him money, after which he comes out as gay because of his driver on CNN cameras while she is still watching.

We soon find out why the cameras are there though; Donald Trump walks through and John challenges him for presidency. Donald Trump goes for a punch, but his small hands make him miss not once, but twice, with a failed insult from John between the two swings. After failing to steal the camera, John get double-teamed by the CNN cameraman and Donald Trump and John gets the living daylights beaten out of him. In an attempt to remedy the situation, John bonds with the CNN cameraman over Pokemon Go--very quickly becoming his BFF--and while his attention was absorbed by that Donald Trump sucker punches him, hitting with his small hands for the first time that day. Out of rage, John steals a pistol from a secret service agent and proceeds to shoot Donald Trump--hitting him right between the eyes. If James Bond is any indication, a secret agent's biggest weakness is sex, and knowing this John attempts to seduce the agents. This doesn't work, and he is captured with no effort points remaining to escape their wrath.

Final results: 4-way 3-point tie between Martin, Oddish., Flyhn and RODAN!!!

List of obsessions:
Martin - Producing pornography - 3
Oddish. - Assasinating the president - 3
Flyhn - Talking to people about something related to Pokemon - 1
RODAN!!! - Coming out as gay on national television
Former Hope - Insulting important people in terrible situations to insult people in - 1
 
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JohnMaster: Oddish.
Players: Former Hope Nomark Martin KnightsofCydonia

So we woke up naked in our bedroom in a house in Florida and there was this naked chick next to us and she was dead, yo. Blood was everywhere. Martin took the initiative and took a shower, then wasted his chance to get spectral sexy times and instead went out and talked to his neighbor while still naked. Then he went back in, got dressed, remembered what his goal was, and failed to summon a ghost via alchemy because alchemy doesn't work like that. Nomark took over and assimilated her dead body. Where Martin failed, Nomark succeeded, which just goes to show how much RPBot hates Martin and/or ghostsex. Of course, because the ghost showed up due to her body being... something or othered... she was pretty mad.

Somehow Former got control then and proceeded to solve the problem... by not solving our spectral problem and going online instead. He hacked Smogon and proceeded to change the results of 2official2mafia so that Stars won. Leet hacker then tried to hack Facebook to send a global message about how Stars rule and other factions suck. The world drowned in salt and Former lost control of John.

Naturally, being blatantly ignored pissed the ghost off even more. Walls were bleeding, the ghost was wailing, John was being haunted like crazy. So I took over and decided to get down to business. I went to the kitchen looking for something to protect myself from the ghost. After being reminded that salt only works for demons, I found a knife and blessed it using my skill Persuasive Speech. Because holy weapon = undead killer. It's basic FF strat.

The ghost continued to haunt John, so I asked Oddish if skills could be use multiple times in a row, then milked the shit out of the positive answer.

Using Persuasive Speech, I calmed the ghost by promising I knew a "special way" to send her to the after life, wink wink. A third persuasive speech got her to lie down on the couch. Everyone thought I was about to pull a Martin and sex up the ghost.

And then I used my fancy knifework skill and sacrificed the wayward soul to Cthulu.

Then Nomark wrote this awesome song about the awesome thing we did:

Woke up near a corpse,
we’re covered in blood
I’m the sexiest threat
In the neighborhood
Absorbed a lady,
assualted her ghost,
we are the STARS
the squad with the most

Then Ben, who was spectating, sang the song and he sounded like Krauser. :metal:

Control bounced around for a while afterwards. We tried and failed to summon another ghost (this one for sex instead of sacrifice), then tried and failed to go to our neighbor's house. Former, deciding we needed more salt, tried hack Smogon again and make every thread Stars Victory 2official2mafia. I'm not entirely sure if he succeeded or not, since my voice connection kept stuttering, but he definitely failed to reverse Ben's ban.

My turn again. I went back to the neighbor's house, hiding the holy knife in my belt so I could go for a twofer. She opened the door and I did some fancy knifework... and accidentally stabbed John in the kidney. Oops?

Nomark tied to assimilate our own body, or maybe it was our neighbor's body, to heal the damage. For some inexplicable reason, it didn't work.

Then Martin repeatedly failed to summon and seduce a ghost. Seriously, he kept rolling 1s and 2s and only got a five when he'd already run out of points. Since Martin was the last player with points, that meant the game was over.

Final results: I was the only three in a room full of twos, so I won. Sweet.

Obsessions:
Former Hope- hack smogon and make it so stars won 2official2mafia (2 tons of salt)
Martin- have sex with a ghost (RPBot hates you)
Nomark- sing a song about our goals (2 recording contract offers)
KnightsofCydonia- sacrifice someone to Cthulu (Oddish said ghosts count, so Ia! Ia! Cthulu 3'tagn!)
 
Hey, so atm I'm designing a narrative-heavy game of Everyone is John; I've hosted games in the past which forgo being action/giggles-oriented in favor of a bigger focus on exploration and unraveling the bigger picture of the world before (albeit ad-libitum) and they've generally had a pretty good reception, so I decided that maybe one with a bit more prior planning could probably lead to a pretty engaging game. I expect I'll have all of the scenario writing finished in the next day or two assuming nothing comes up, but I was hoping to gauge whether anyone would be interested in playing and, if yes, what date/time would work best to ensure that we don't have that thing of a load of people joining and then quitting halfway through due to irl stuff that we've had in the past. I'm looking to play with around 5 or 6 people, although more is certainly welcome to ensure that we can get to the end of the narrative without game-overing, with me probably looking at a cap of 10 players just due to the logistical issues that come with very large games.
 
Martin said:
Hey, so atm I'm designing a narrative-heavy game of Everyone is John; I've hosted games in the past which forgo being action/giggles-oriented in favor of a bigger focus on exploration and unraveling the bigger picture of the world before (albeit ad-libitum) and they've generally had a pretty good reception, so I decided that maybe one with a bit more prior planning could probably lead to a pretty engaging game. I expect I'll have all of the scenario writing finished in the next day or two assuming nothing comes up, but I was hoping to gauge whether anyone would be interested in playing and, if yes, what date/time would work best to ensure that we don't have that thing of a load of people joining and then quitting halfway through due to irl stuff that we've had in the past. I'm looking to play with around 5 or 6 people, although more is certainly welcome to ensure that we can get to the end of the narrative without game-overing, with me probably looking at a cap of 10 players just due to the logistical issues that come with very large games.
Click to expand...
This game as a whole sounds really fun, I'd be down to play it whenever starting next week
 
Thursday and Saturday are my best days. Though I can also do Wednesday if it's after 7 pm EST. Think I'm gonna be busy this week though, so next week will probably be a better time to start for me. If it's Thursday or Saturday, I can usually do pretty much any time granted it's not too early in the morning.
 
Putting this here so it’s visible to ppl who don’t read the circus or announcement channels of the firebot server much, but I’ve made a role that ppl can tag when they wanna look for John games. Type the command .iam john in #botspam to be assigned the role. I wanna play more games so ye make use of it!
 
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