found out i am a valuable trading card

[az]

​

this is a one-off misfit misprint 2008 az. theres only one like it (its me)

i possess the incredible pokemon ability of getting one of my pokeballs, and putting it in my hand (throwing pokeball to send out the pokemon sold separately)

apparently you may only play one supporter card during your turn, and i personally think it ought to be this one. id also like to note it is pretty cool of me to include a little note on the rules right there for you to see. otherwise how the fuck else would you know how to play this insane game

as a supporter i vow to be supportive of all your endeavours so long as im in your deck. that's an AZ Guarantee.

im reading here that it says i am "holo" which i think is a little bit personal and maybe not for tpci to make as a judgement call, but w/e. what i can promise is you that ill work on it.

this is an unconventional auction for an unconventional card so i will accept unconventional offers

may the bidding begin..

 

[Astra]

i'll start with a bid of half a cheeseburger and a pat on the back

 

[Albatross]

az - can I call you az? - before everyone else comes in to start making offers I'd like to make a personal deal. One that you, a card of culture, may be interested in. All these posters, with their money and reacts, are mere pawns of the capitalist regime. They think money can buy anything. They think whoring themselves out for likes will bring them internet fame. What I'm offering is far greater than money, or reacts, or any other material gift.

az - if i may indeed call you az - I propose I pay you in compliments.

How this works, az (apologies if I canno't call you this), is I will give you, over the course of 14 days (that's exactly 1 fortnight, AKA 2 weeks, AKA 14 days), two compliments. One every 12 hours. A bi-daily schedule. Or if you don't swing that way, a hetero-daily schedule. Either way, you will be gaining compliments from me, the hottest single avian on this side of the missasippie.

FQA:

Q. What do your compliments look like?
A. Below are some examples of compliments you might enjoy if you take this offer on:

• Goodness me, USER, you sure look dashing today. Have you been working out?
• Wowza, USER, that post you made in MF STUDIOS CHANNEL sure was funny!
• USER, if you were selling your bath water at £899 a jar, I would buy enough to synthesise a new skin carpet based entirely off the skin particles ffrom your bath water!

Q. What if I want to prolong this experience?
A. If you ask politely and send me £100 I may consider it. The money should, of course, be sent via Todd's PayPal, as with all currency meant for my bank account

Q. What if I want to unsubscribe from this service?
A. No.

 

[Cratersmash]

I bid 507.3 plastic forks, 23 plastic spoons, 13.43 plastic sporks, and an unsharpened pencil

 

[dreepy]

8 firm handshakes

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

7 swans a-swimming

 

[ThatOneSpork]

I bid 507.3 plastic forks, 23 plastic spoons, 13.43 plastic sporks, and an unsharpened pencil

I see your plastic silverware and raise you 50 silver sporks.

 

[Briewear]

Price TBD

 

[az]

i'll start with a bid of half a cheeseburger and a pat on the back

starting out strong with a bid of half a cheeseburder and a pat on the pack here from astra, thats halfacheeseburgerandapatonthebackhalfacheeseburgerandapatontheback, any more? any more? any more for halfacheeseburgerand a pat on the back?

az - can I call you az? - before everyone else comes in to start making offers I'd like to make a personal deal. One that you, a card of culture, may be interested in. All these posters, with their money and reacts, are mere pawns of the capitalist regime. They think money can buy anything. They think whoring themselves out for likes will bring them internet fame. What I'm offering is far greater than money, or reacts, or any other material gift.

az - if i may indeed call you az - I propose I pay you in compliments.

How this works, az (apologies if I canno't call you this), is I will give you, over the course of 14 days (that's exactly 1 fortnight, AKA 2 weeks, AKA 14 days), two compliments. One every 12 hours. A bi-daily schedule. Or if you don't swing that way, a hetero-daily schedule. Either way, you will be gaining compliments from me, the hottest single avian on this side of the missasippie.

FQA:

Q. What do your compliments look like?
A. Below are some examples of compliments you might enjoy if you take this offer on:

• Goodness me, USER, you sure look dashing today. Have you been working out?
• Wowza, USER, that post you made in MF STUDIOS CHANNEL sure was funny!
• USER, if you were selling your bath water at £899 a jar, I would buy enough to synthesise a new skin carpet based entirely off the skin particles ffrom your bath water!

Q. What if I want to prolong this experience?
A. If you ask politely and send me £100 I may consider it. The money should, of course, be sent via Todd's PayPal, as with all currency meant for my bank account

Q. What if I want to unsubscribe from this service?
A. No.

hello alba,

yes, you may call me az. you have my attn. this offer is very attractive to me, and i am giving it serious consideration

of course, this is an auction and i don't get to consider the offers. i just have to take the highest one. as a sidenote, i'd rather you didn't call me az

i think it would be very good for me for you to pay me compliments on a bi- or hetero-daily schedule. i guess you could say i am schedule curious

please do not apologise; i can tell you have put a great deal of thought and care into this and i greatly appreciate your inclusion of these frequently-asked questions for my perusal

and... please. call me az

I bid 507.3 plastic forks, 23 plastic spoons, 13.43 plastic sporks, and an unsharpened pencil

interesting assortment of utensils and misc. you have there.i dont know that it trumps alba's compliments package and complementary modular subscription service, but we shall see

8 firm handshakes

7 swans a-swimming

ok well hold on why are the bids going down

I see your plastic silverware and raise you 50 silver sporks.

ok now we're back on track. it bdoes well for me that this auction is more akin to a stock market, because based on current events it may soon be necessary for my people to trade in utensils in lieu of our worthless currency

Price TBD

im calling security

any more? any more for any more?

 

[Astra]

i raise my bid to a FULL cheeseburger and TWO pats on the back, one from each hand

 

[Cratersmash]

I see your plastic silverware and raise you 50 silver sporks.

According to my calculations, accounting for the recent inflation on metal silverware, this is actually less than my bid

 

[phoopes]

I bid 3000 years

 

[Let's go shuckles]

This is just the pokemon version of Compulsorary Evacuation Device. Very disappointing

 

[dreepy]

Very good card in ptcg, although I have no idea if it's standard right now.

 

[monkfish]

i will make you an admin of MF STUDIOS subject to terms and conditions

 

[ThatOneSpork]

According to my calculations, accounting for the recent inflation on metal silverware, this is actually less than my bid

The thing is, mine are heavily collectible sterling silver sporks from around the world and different time periods. They come as a set, in a bubinga display case. There is also a good chance that this set's value will increase in the coming years, as sporks are much rarer than any other commonly known silverware. All in all, this set is worth over 1,000,000,000 Vietnamese Dongs, given you can find the right markets.

 

[Ullar]

i will make u a custom roleplay, themed as u desire. my accredited skills are well-documented; eagerly awaiting ur response and/or specifications

 

[Ullar]

i will make u a custom roleplay, themed as u desire. my accredited skills are well-documented; eagerly awaiting ur response and/or specifications

LMAO get a load of this clown. using the same tired fucking """""joke""""" yet again. get some new material you goddamn hack. if you think parroting yourself over and over will get you likes then you're a bigger buffoon than you look. sure didn't get your wife for being funny, lol

here's a goddamn offer: i'll make sure this dungeon-manchild or whatever shuts upppp about this bullshit. nobody cares about your adventures, or your player characters, or a funny sword you picked up in your make-believe, or your miniatures, or even your shiny little dice. just post about that shit in threads that are expressly about those things, without a hackneyed segue. fucking christ. shut UP

 

[BIG ASHLEY]

u been drinking ullar?

 

[az]

ok pausing this thread for a sec to make sure ullar is ok.

post your well-wishes and messages of concern for ullar below:

 

[Briewear]

F

 

[Fishy]

Ullar is adjusting to married life swimmingly it seems

 

[Oglemi]

Wrong az the card is missing the all important # at the start, can't be you, sorry you must be mistaken

 

[ThatOneSpork]

Get better soon Ullar, and I just realized this:

theres only one like it (its me)

It's you. Are we buying you? And does this constitute human trafficking?

 

[Ullar]

Hi Posting Fam,

I realize that yesterday may have worried some of the Posters present in this thread. It's truly touching that you all are so concerned for my mental health - I think of you all as professional colleagues here, but I'm glad that you feel as close to meas I do to you.

The Twofer-Post that I published yesterday (a Doublepost, for those more familiar with the outdated vernacular) was not intended to alarm or dismay any other Posters present. While it is quite reasonable to be interpreted as an unhinged cry for help amidst self-loathing, I can assure you that this is not the case. My mental health has actually improved to a degree that even I find shocking - even prior to our ceremony, I have received support from my wife that I never knew I could have. She truly is the rock I needed in life.

The purpose of the above Post administered to this thread was not a display of a psychotic break, but rather an overenthusiastic attempt at self-deprecating humor. After taking some time to reflect on the messages conveyed, I now realize unintended sentiments were present; for that, I am both apologetic for causing worry and appreciative for your concern. Perhaps the Post was also indicative of my recent tenure apart from the tabletop communities I frequented, to reassess myself and my identity aside from rolling dice as funny kobolds.

I am well, and I am excited to continue Postcrafting. Thank you all for your support.

May nat20s find you,
Ullar