Walrus Granny's Free Real Estate

Granny Pie

Mafia Champion
The following Walrus is intended for internet users only.

It's free.
I'm giving you points.
They're free.
I'm giving you Categories.
It's a Walrus; free.
I have free points for you, guys!
Free Walrus.
You gotta bring songs... But the points are free!
8 categories, no catfails.
You enter the competition to your free points; I already got you the Walrus!
It's an 8 Category Walrus. It has bonus points in the back.
I'm not leaving this signup up all month! They're free! Your points!!
It's a free Walrus I'm gonna pee my pants.
Internet, come get your damn points.
Internet! I got free points!
Internet, does it get any better than this?
It's a free f***in' Walrus.
It's free points.

*clears throat*
Aight, everybody. Welcome to my Walrus. If you have been under a rock for the past two months, or if you just never come near Circus Maximus, a Walrus is a large flippered marine mammal a completely biased song competition, judged by moi. There are 8 categories, and entrants will select a song that fits in each category and submit them to me via Youtube links in DMs for judging. I'll score each song (alongside a brief writeup of my thoughts), award points based on the score, and then whoever has the most points at the end wins. What do you win? Well, the reward differs subtly from Walrus to Walrus, but the winner of this Walrus gets to claim the title of Granny's Favorite. I'll shower you with electronic cookies and fake internet points.
Now, I've noticed a disturbing trend in Walruses here on Smogon: Ban Lists. Judges telling you what you can and cannot submit, in order to prevent pandering. Now, Walrus to me always means that everybody's supposed to strike a balance in submitting songs that they like, but that they also think/know the judge will like. In my opinion, it is the submitter's job to learn more about their judge, to learn from headers or past submissions what the judge might enjoy, and then submit a song that they both would enjoy. As such, I will have no ban lists, and no About the Walruser section. Keep in mind, however, that I like some new things, just like anybody else would, so if you think an out-of-the-blue submission will score well, then, by all means, go ahead and submit. This change is supposed to free you in what you can send, not restrict you. So go out there and gimme what you love! I'm going to try and keep these cats as open-ended as possible, so you won't be as pinned in to one genre or one feel of music.
Excited? Lez go.

Category 1: Culture Shock
Let's start this off a little differently.
I like foreign music; songs that don't sound American, or do sound American, but have a wonderful touch of foreign color.
Shakira - Hips Don't Lie
This is easily an American pop song. But it has wonderful Mexican dance feel with the trumpet line and the acoustic guitar and kettle drum backing.
Claudio Capeo - Fidele a Moi Meme
The French... are interesting people with interesting music. The accordion waltz really brings this song out of my country, and the solid, bob-able French rap is pretty great.

Category 2: Epic Orchestra
I love orchestral music. But I'm looking for confidence. I'm looking for power. I'm looking for despair. I'm looking for triumph. I'm looking for sorrowful regret. Bring me your emotional orchestras. The ones that make you grit your teeth in determination, or cry for those lost, or create a scene of victory or destruction in your head.
The orchestra can be in the background, as well. It does not have to be the main piece. Singing is sometimes really good for this genre.
Hanz Zimmer - Time
Time makes me feel regret for things yet to come, and builds that regret and sense of loss very powerfully. The simple string build and horn accents herald an incoming disaster that none may stop, but the ending reminds us all: "There is always a dawn. A new day will come. Hope never dies."
Own Eye - Dialga's Fight to the Finish
A whole battle is placed in my head; a battle for the very universe, as two kids struggle against a god in a desperate, heartfelt attempt to save all those they love and care about. Their determination, personified by the driving horns, outweighs their very apparent fear, drawn by the impacting cymbal and timpani crashes, and they must recall all of their training and all of their skills in order to scrap with the almighty God of time himself as time bends around them, illustrated by the wavering harps and whole-orchestra silences. I can feel the determined desperation beating back the darkness, knowing that good will triumph. With you by my side, I don't feel afraid.

Category 3: LOL
Submit music that makes you laugh. The more genuine, the better. :)
Sr. Wooly - Billy La Bufanda
I love dumb Spanish-class songs.
This is a dumb Spanish-class song, and the lyrics and creativity are just great.
Bad Lip Reading - Seagulls! (Stop it Now)
I've been laughing at this song for 6 months now.
Someone help me.

Category 4: Under the Covers
Some songs are great.
Some songs are awful.
Let's see what happens when someone else performs 'em.
No, I'm not judging them on if they're better than the originals. I'm judging them on whether I like them or not.
Like I'm judging every other category.
Save Ferris - Come On Eileen
The original is great. And the Save Ferris makes it faster, adds horns, and makes it gayer. I LOVE this version.
Weird Al Yankovic - Now THAT'S What I Call Polka!
The original(s) are... subjective. But Weird Al makes them all fun, fast, and dance-y. His polka instrumentations are unique, and give a great feeling to the entire song.

Category 5: Half-Full? All-full.
Send me a song that makes you happy. It makes you smile, it makes you laugh, it makes you feel good about yourself and your life. The more candor, the better. What music makes you glad to be alive?
Foozogz - Smile
The original version of this song is a positive train ride, as Pinkie Pie sets out to make her friends happy. But Foozogz takes the song, make it faster, gives it a strong instrumental backing and solid drops, and turns the song into a crucible of pure joy. When I listen to this song, I smile, dance, and feel like what I'm doing with my life, where I'm at, is has a purpose, y'know? I'm helping people, and I'm going to improve a lot of lives before I'm done on this Earth.
Blue October - Jump Rope
This song is hopeful: it acknowledges that, yes, sometimes life is hard, and we're all going to have our doubts. But you can't let that hold you back from being the person you want to be. The rough, but wizened voice only accentuates this world knowledge, especially the middle where he tells us that "everything will be okay." It's so powerfully happy and hopeful.
Cody Simpson - La Da Dee
This song makes me bob from side to side, smiling and wishing that I had a girlfriend to sing this to, lol. The instrumentation is compliments the lyrics by being cool and collectedly happy, by you can still tell that even the instruments want to burst forth to express themselves for real.

Category 6: The Gypsy Bard
Send me a sad, angry, or edgy song. Bonus points if it has a deceptively happy tune.
Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide
I can only imagine an edgy singing this with a surprisingly sadistic smile. The guitar and drums are upbeat, in odd contrast with the edgy, angry lyrics, which really appeals to me.
Andrew W.K. - Get Ready to Die
The instrumental version of this is one of the happiest pop-rock tracks I've ever heard.
And then Andrew W.K. starts screaming about how he's gonna kill me.
And, yet, it still makes me bob my head, tap my feet, and smile.

Category 7: Electric Shock
I love electronic music. Synth? Oh yeah. EDM? Oh yeah. Electronica? Oh yeah. 8-bit? Oh yeah. Vocaloid? Oh yeah. Hit me up with your sickest beats.
Porter Robinson and Madeon - Shelter
Porter is easily the greatest musical artist this side of 2000. Any song he makes is golden. This is no exception.
The song itself is his very own brainchild, and is very close to his heart. Porter put a lot of work into this song, and it shows. The instrumentation is soulful, the lyrics and voice haunting, and, even though I'm not even going to watch any of the videos y'all send me, the video for this emotional, heartfelt, and soul-wrenching.
Duck Sauce - NRG (Skrillex, Kill the Noise, and Milo and Otis remix)
Anamanaguchi - Blackout City
I really like 8-bit music, but, oddly enough, most original 8-bit music just doesn't strike with me. Except for this album, and this song especially. Blackout City has some good memories with it, as well, something many of the songs in here can boast.

Category 8: Chill Out!
Send me a song that is chill, calms you down, or relaxes you into sleep or a routine.
Jose Gonzalez - Stay Alive
So chill.
So calming.
The soft kick drum.
The gentle guitar.
That piano in the background.
And Jose Gonzalez's soothing voice.
Nicol Armarfi - Raindrops and Puddles
It's been raining a lot at college recently.
I've been walking around campus a lot.
As such, I've been listening to a lot of this song.
Suuuuper relaxing walking music, KS is.
Makes me wanna walk in the rain with a cute girl and make small talk. :3

Scoring is out of 10. I will give bonus points based on writeups you give me with your songs. :)
Feel free to submit music you've submitted in the past. I promise you I don't remember it, and if I do, I won't remember who sent it.
A few final, actual restriction: If you sub a song that somebody else has already subbed for that cat, I will ask you to resubmit. You can't send the same for multiple cats, but if two different people submit the same song for two different cats, it's okay.
Signups will last until next Friday, September the 8th at 11:59 pm EST.
Come one!
Come all!
Be Granny's Favorite!

Da Letter El

Steven Snype

robot9 (Rosin)
Last edited:


a half-remembered maladaptive daydream
is a Community Contributor
Mafia Champion
i clicked "send message" and then noticed that you can do writeups for this one too

so i guess i'll do those at some point z_z

Granny Pie

Mafia Champion
Okie den.
Well, signups have long since closed, but hey!
I'm going to reveal sometime this week, possibly as soon as this Wednesday night, and possibly as late as this Sunday night. I'm going to reserve for Wednesday, however, so if you haven't sent In your cat 1 submission, sub before Wednesday night!
Tagging the unsubmitted:

Granny Pie

Mafia Champion
Writeups for Cat 1 are inbound.
But until then, I'm setting my next reveal, Cat 2: Epic Orchestra for this Wednesday at 8pm EST!
If you haven't submitted to Cat 2 yet, dew it.

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