Heracross [QC 0/2] [GP 0/1]

[hmsa2012]

[SET]
name: Wallbreaker
move 1: Swords Dance
move 2: Close Combat
move 3: Knock Off
move 4: Facade
item: Flame Orb
ability: Guts
nature: Adamant
evs: 252 Atk / 4 Def/ 252 Spe


[SET COMMENTS]

Heracross performs as a wallbreaker in the OU metagame due to the combination of Guts and Flame Orb allowing it to threaten walls with minimum set up. Swords Dance takes Heracross' great Attack to staggering levels, which gives Heracross the capacity to 2HKO the majority of the OU metagame. Close Combat is Heracross' strongest STAB move. Unlike its Guts counterpart, Obstagoon, Heracross' fighting STAB provides a key matchup against Steel-types such as Corviknight, Ferrothorn, and Excadrill. Although Bulk Up Urshifu is another threatening Pokemon with Fighting STAB, Heracross can switch into Pokemon such as Skarmory and Toxapex and immediately threaten these walls with minimum repercussion. Knock Off allows Heracross to hit Ghost-types such as Dragapult, and Aegislash. Facade gives Heracross another powerful move that hits fighting-resist Pokemon for great damage such as Clefable.

Heracross appreciates partners such as Excadrill and Corviknight, as they provide hazard control and act as a defensive pivot for Heracross' vulnerability to Fairy-types. Pairing Heracross with Pokemon like Mantine and Drapapult alleviate its weakness to Fire-types such as Volcarona. Heracross also benefits from momentum support users such as Zeraora, Rillaboom, and Dragapult, which can bring in Heracross for free and immediately activate Flame Orb. Lastly, Clefable is a great partner for Heracross; Clefable can set up a Wish and switch in Heracross safely next turn using Teleport, which restores Heracross' HP.

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [hmsa2012, 386290]
- Quality checked by: [[curiosity, 443485], [username2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[username1, userid1]]

 

[hmsa2012]

Ready for QC

 

[ShootingStarmie]

[SET]
name: Guts Wall-[remove this]Bbreaker
move 1: Swords Dance
move 2: Close Combat
move 3: Knock Off
move 4: Facade
item: Flame Orb
ability: Guts
nature: Adamant
evs: 252 Atk / 4 Def [remove this (I added space for correct formatting)] / 252 Spe

[SET COMMENTS]

With its incredible base 125 Attack stat, Heracross preforms as a wallbreaker in the OU metagame. The combination of Guts and Flame Orb allows Heracross to threaten walls with minimum set up. (immediately.) (I think these first two sentences can be merged) The initial Burn status from Flame Orb ensures Heracross immunity to other status conditions like Paralysis and Poison. (Mention how Heracross doesn't mind its item being Knocked Off either once its burned by Flame Orb) Swords Dance takes Heracross' great Attack to staggering levels, which gives Heracross the capacity to 2HKO the majority of the OU metagame. Close Combat is Heracross' strongest STAB move and deals massive damage to Pokemon that do not resist it such as Corviknight, Mandibuzz, and Hippowdon. Knock Off is a great utility move that removes items and allows Heracross to hit Psychic-types and Ghost-types that are resistant or immune to Close Combat such as Slowbro, Dragapult, and Aegislash. With Flame Orb and Guts, Facade gives Heracross another powerful move, this time to punish Fairy-types and Poison-types such as Clefable and Toxapex.

Heracross appreciates (entry) hazard removers such as Excadrill and Corviknight to prevent being worn down easily. (Do these Pokemon provide anything else? The answer is yes, they're both great checks to Fairy-types that Heracross is weak to, so mention it) Heracross also benefits from VoltTurn users such as Rotom-H,[remove space] Rillaboom, and Dragapult, which can bring in Heracross for free and immediately activate Flame Orb. Pairing Heracross with Pokemon like the aformentioned (aforementioned) Excadrill and Drapapult (Dragapult) alleviate its weakness to Fairy-types ("Fairy and Fire-types" rolls of off tongue better for me) and Fire-types such as Clefable and Volcarona, respectively. (This seems like an odd word choice of words, as Excadrill is weak to Fire-types, while Dragapult is weak to Fairy-types. I would make the distinction more clear for the readers) Clefable is a great partner for Heracross, as it can Wish pass and Teleport, allowing Heracross to safely switch-in and restore its HP. Lastly, setup sweepers such as Volcarona and Azumarill appreciate Heracross' ability to cripple bulky Pokemon to clean late game. (While it isn't the most common attacking type, I feel the x4 weakness to Flying type attacks need to be addressed. Mention how Zeraora is a great partner, and explain why)

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [hmsa2012, 386290]
- Quality checked by: [[username1, userid1], [username2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[username1, userid1]]

Hope this helped!

Comments in blue, mistakes in red, add green

 

[curiosity]

Hide

[SET]
name: Guts Wall-Breaker
move 1: Swords Dance
move 2: Close Combat
move 3: Knock Off
move 4: Facade
item: Flame Orb
ability: Guts
nature: Adamant
evs: 252 Atk / 4 Def/ 252 Spe

the set should just be called 'wallbreaker';

[SET COMMENTS]

With its incredible base 125 Attack stat, this is all unnecessary; anything you can read off of the dex shouldn't be included here. Heracross preforms as a wallbreaker in the OU metagame. The combination of Guts and Flame Orb allows Heracross to threaten walls with minimum set up. merge this w/ the first point The initial Burn status from Flame Orb ensures Heracross immunity to other status conditions like Paralysis and Poison. again, this is all unnecessary Swords Dance takes Heracross' great Attack to staggering levels, which gives Heracross the capacity to 2HKO the majority of the OU metagame. Close Combat is Heracross' strongest STAB move and deals massive damage to Pokemon that do not resist it again, this is all unnecessary; just mentioning that cc is its strongest stab is fine such as Corviknight, Mandibuzz, and Hippowdon. I don't particularly like hippo / mandi because it raises the question of "why not use megahorn instead?" to a newer player; mention a few steels here instead Knock Off is a great utility move that removes items this is all unnecessary and allows Heracross to hit Psychic-types and Ghost-types that are resistant or immune to Close Combat this is all unnecessary such as Slowbro, Dragapult, and Aegislash. remove the slowbro mention; that mon is hardly relevant. With Flame Orb and Guts, Facade gives Heracross another powerful move, this time to punish Fairy-types and Poison-types such as Clefable and Toxapex. again, this is unnecessarily stretching shit out; just say something along the lines of "hits fighting resist pokemon such as xyz for big damage"

I'd like to see an explanation as to why you'd use Heracross over BU shifu and goon instead - I want there to be an emphasis on its fighting stab and its ability to switch into pex / ferro / skarm re: shifu and its access to sd + ability to hit steels re: goon.

Heracross appreciates hazard removers such as Excadrill and Corviknight to prevent being worn down easily. I want this expanded upon; both provide a lot more than just hazard control (momentum, defensive utility, offensive synergy, etc.) and this should reflect that. Heracross also benefits from VoltTurn you generally don't want to label this as "voltturn" since it doesn't fit in w/ analysis lingo; label this as momentum support and replace the rotom-h mention with zeraora users such as Rotom-H, Rillaboom, and Dragapult, which can bring in Heracross for free and immediately activate Flame Orb. Pairing Heracross with Pokemon like the aformentioned Excadrill don't double up with mentions; replace this with something like Volcarona and Drapapult alleviate its weakness to Fairy-types and Fire-types such as Clefable and Volcarona, respectively. If you're going to mention shit to cover off its weaknesses, I'd rather you separate this into two distinct points covering both types since it just sounds clunky rn Clefable is a great partner for Heracross, as it can Wish pass and Teleport, allowing Heracross to safely switch-in and restore its HP. again the language isn't really ideal and is really vague; a newer player is going to have no fucking clue what "wish pass(ing)" means so you actually have to specify how it's getting its HP back up. Lastly, setup sweepers such as Volcarona and Azumarill appreciate Heracross' ability to cripple bulky Pokemon to clean late game. give me examples; there's no point in including this if you're not going to elaborate, especially when newer players will have no idea how this works contextually

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [hmsa2012, 386290]
- Quality checked by: [[curiosity,443485], [username2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[username1, userid1]]

Tag me once you've implemented everything.

Just for some general feedback - I've mentioned this in an earlier post, and most of the same criticism applies here; you're elaborating on common knowledge and cutting down on the focal point of the analysis. Remember that elaborating on common knowledge isn't what the goal of these analyses; it's to teach a newer audience - whether that be someone who's just beaten the champion for the first time in their life to boomers who've never played gen 8 in their lives - how to use Heracross. Try to avoid using monspeak and try avoiding mentioning details from the type chart if you can and I really do think that this can become something really solid, especially considering that for the most part, this flows pretty nicely.

Let me know once you've implemented everything.

As for you ShootingStarmie, I'll be honest by saying that I think you're completely missing the point of a QC check; the focus of a QC check should mostly be based around the mons-related content, as opposed to the grammatical aspect of it. I've had a couple of quick glances through your check and it reads more like a GP check than an actual QC check, especially considering that (what appears to be) the majority of the check focuses on fixing the minor grammatical errors of the post as opposed to correcting any misinformation. Not to say that you can't fuck around with the grammar because that's what I've basically done in this check and many others before it, but again, the mons aspect of the check should aways come first. You're definitely headed in the right direction, so i'm looking forwards to see where you can take this.

 

[hmsa2012]

Hide

[SET]
name: Guts Wall-Breaker
move 1: Swords Dance
move 2: Close Combat
move 3: Knock Off
move 4: Facade
item: Flame Orb
ability: Guts
nature: Adamant
evs: 252 Atk / 4 Def/ 252 Spe

the set should just be called 'wallbreaker';

[SET COMMENTS]

With its incredible base 125 Attack stat, this is all unnecessary; anything you can read off of the dex shouldn't be included here. Heracross preforms as a wallbreaker in the OU metagame. The combination of Guts and Flame Orb allows Heracross to threaten walls with minimum set up. merge this w/ the first point The initial Burn status from Flame Orb ensures Heracross immunity to other status conditions like Paralysis and Poison. again, this is all unnecessary Swords Dance takes Heracross' great Attack to staggering levels, which gives Heracross the capacity to 2HKO the majority of the OU metagame. Close Combat is Heracross' strongest STAB move and deals massive damage to Pokemon that do not resist it again, this is all unnecessary; just mentioning that cc is its strongest stab is fine such as Corviknight, Mandibuzz, and Hippowdon. I don't particularly like hippo / mandi because it raises the question of "why not use megahorn instead?" to a newer player; mention a few steels here instead Knock Off is a great utility move that removes items this is all unnecessary and allows Heracross to hit Psychic-types and Ghost-types that are resistant or immune to Close Combat this is all unnecessary such as Slowbro, Dragapult, and Aegislash. remove the slowbro mention; that mon is hardly relevant. With Flame Orb and Guts, Facade gives Heracross another powerful move, this time to punish Fairy-types and Poison-types such as Clefable and Toxapex. again, this is unnecessarily stretching shit out; just say something along the lines of "hits fighting resist pokemon such as xyz for big damage"

I'd like to see an explanation as to why you'd use Heracross over BU shifu and goon instead - I want there to be an emphasis on its fighting stab and its ability to switch into pex / ferro / skarm re: shifu and its access to sd + ability to hit steels re: goon.

Heracross appreciates hazard removers such as Excadrill and Corviknight to prevent being worn down easily. I want this expanded upon; both provide a lot more than just hazard control (momentum, defensive utility, offensive synergy, etc.) and this should reflect that. Heracross also benefits from VoltTurn you generally don't want to label this as "voltturn" since it doesn't fit in w/ analysis lingo; label this as momentum support and replace the rotom-h mention with zeraora users such as Rotom-H, Rillaboom, and Dragapult, which can bring in Heracross for free and immediately activate Flame Orb. Pairing Heracross with Pokemon like the aformentioned Excadrill don't double up with mentions; replace this with something like Volcarona and Drapapult alleviate its weakness to Fairy-types and Fire-types such as Clefable and Volcarona, respectively. If you're going to mention shit to cover off its weaknesses, I'd rather you separate this into two distinct points covering both types since it just sounds clunky rn Clefable is a great partner for Heracross, as it can Wish pass and Teleport, allowing Heracross to safely switch-in and restore its HP. again the language isn't really ideal and is really vague; a newer player is going to have no fucking clue what "wish pass(ing)" means so you actually have to specify how it's getting its HP back up. Lastly, setup sweepers such as Volcarona and Azumarill appreciate Heracross' ability to cripple bulky Pokemon to clean late game. give me examples; there's no point in including this if you're not going to elaborate, especially when newer players will have no idea how this works contextually

[CREDITS]
- Written by: [hmsa2012, 386290]
- Quality checked by: [[curiosity,443485], [username2, userid2]]
- Grammar checked by: [[username1, userid1]]

Tag me once you've implemented everything.

Just for some general feedback - I've mentioned this in an earlier post, and most of the same criticism applies here; you're elaborating on common knowledge and cutting down on the focal point of the analysis. Remember that elaborating on common knowledge isn't what the goal of these analyses; it's to teach a newer audience - whether that be someone who's just beaten the champion for the first time in their life to boomers who've never played gen 8 in their lives - how to use Heracross. Try to avoid using monspeak and try avoiding mentioning details from the type chart if you can and I really do think that this can become something really solid, especially considering that for the most part, this flows pretty nicely.

Let me know once you've implemented everything.

As for you ShootingStarmie, I'll be honest by saying that I think you're completely missing the point of a QC check; the focus of a QC check should mostly be based around the mons-related content, as opposed to the grammatical aspect of it. I've had a couple of quick glances through your check and it reads more like a GP check than an actual QC check, especially considering that (what appears to be) the majority of the check focuses on fixing the minor grammatical errors of the post as opposed to correcting any misinformation. Not to say that you can't fuck around with the grammar because that's what I've basically done in this check and many others before it, but again, the mons aspect of the check should aways come first. You're definitely headed in the right direction, so i'm looking forwards to see where you can take this.

curiosity implemented the changes. Tried my best to add the Bulk-Up Urshifu, as fitting it with the Fighting STAB section made it seem to flow easier.